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Chapter 279 t̲̲̲̅̅̅r̲̅e̲̲̅̅m̅e̲̲̅̅n̅d̲̲̅̅o̅u̲̲̅̅s̅ s̲̲̲̅̅̅p̲̅i̲̲̅̅r̅i̲̲̅̅t̅u̲̲̅̅a̅l̲̅̅ e̲̲̲̅̅̅x̲̅p̲̲̅̅e̅r̲̲̅̅i̅e̲̲̅̅n̅c̲̲̅̅e̅ There are 2 concepts here, in the moment and out of the moment. So when you are out of the moment, you are essentially disempowered. And when you are in the moment, you feel the energy of self. That is your energy gets scattered the more you are out of the moment. The intense self love comes partially from self pity or sympathy for self. Like you feel that you are the victim of life, that life is suffering and when you die, you are released from this jail, you see yourself as someone who has been through too much and that's where you feel self love. You see yourself as a third person. Signs of spiritual awakening.. This one recurrent theme in spirituality will be feeling, "don't take life too seriously,".... This is a short journey that the soul has to complete. When it completes the soul is released into eternity. So essentially you are just wasting time putting your mind to negative things. Judgementalism.. This destroys self love. So one component of self love is self comfort. Where you tell yourself to just relax and that you don't deserve bullies. You kinda comfort your crying. The other component of self love is self expression. Purge it. Vent it. Express also the better parts like desires. The other component of self love is pampering. Pamper yourself once a while, it feels better. The other component is self non judgementalism. Do not judge yourself. Replace judgement with non judgement. Instead of saying, "Im not like that, I don't look pretty, I don't have that talent," say "how does it matter" "so what" "I still deserve". To feel intense self love, When you feel that intense self love, everything begins to come together when you need healing, you need a lot of self love just like a deprived body needs food. How to feel intense self love One way is guided meditation. Visualization accompanied in which mother nature loves you for who you are. And stepwise tells you how much you need to care for yourself. It will show you the difference between a pain body which is you right now, a sufferer, and a free body which is feeling happy and at peace. Not tormented anymore. An aura of black and white imagery, going back to your childhood,, an aura of whitish smoke and white flashes of light all around you. That's where you are a happy free body. When you feel that freedom from your self, you feel joy, happiness and love. Because you are rid of the toxins that are a part of you. Intense self love is to be practiced. Guided meditation. Give attention to yourself. Tell yourself how much you need yourself. Look at your body as separate from your soul and your self. See what your self needs. Care for it. Look at yourself from the third person.. Totally isolate yourself from the rest of the world. Talk to yourself sometimes Listen to what your body says. Express yourself as much as you want. Be a child for a moment and laugh how much you can. How to love yourself is a wrong way to put it. Be kind to yourself . Be accepting of yourself Be connected to yourself. Listen to what your heart is telling you. Feel yourself from within. Feel your soul. Feel the center of your chest. And you will feel like you are sensing your soul there. Then it will feel like a tugging feeling. Then you feel like a motherly or fatherly spirit It felt wonderful. Like someone who deeply cares about me. But it was my own soul. Like someone who understands me and says to me that you have to get better and do better and live better and be happy. It's my own soul. But it does not feel like small, it does not feel like something limited by me, in fact it feels like it's more powerful than me, like it's a part of me, like my dear friend, at the same time it feels like it's higher than me, bigger than me, like a higher self or a higher spirit but wrapped as my soul. It has lot of wisdom. And it is intense. And it's like telling me that other's stuff is none of my business. That it will take care of others, I don't have to worry. It is there for them. So when it is a part of them, it cares for them too. I cannot be the best person to my advise my friend what choice they should make. This higher spirit that is guiding me as my soul will also guide them as their soul. It's like an all protective spirit. But it does not feel like it's separated from me, just like my best friend is not separated from me. But it's not telling me that I should do so and so for humanity. It will only guiding me about myself. In fact it is telling me that the world is none of my business that I have no power over it, that if I did anything good, it's a part of my graciousness but it's not necessary for me to do it. Also it is telling me that I should only care about myself and my loved ones to the extent I can care. It is telling me that the world is not my business but it will take care of the world and I should let it go,. That if any injustice happens in the world that I should not worry that it will take care of it, that I can fight for it, but I can't be almighty and judge and decide what is good for all. It is telling me that I cannot be the almighty self righteous who decides the course of the world, do not be the conveyor of justice or the deliverIt also tells me that it knows what is good for the world and what if bad and what is right for the world or what is best for the world. It is telling me that things are meant to be the way they are and that I am only supposed to find my way through it It is telling me that the world is not my business but it will take care of the world and I should let it go,. That if any injustice happens in the world that I should not worry that it will take care of it, that I can fight for it, but I can't be almighty and judge and decide what is good for all. It is telling me that I cannot be the almighty self righteous who decides the course of the world, do not be the conveyor or dispenser of justice because it warns me against it saying I'm not the one to do it. Like I have no right or authority to do it. It also says that it has that authority and not me so I should leave the job to it and the more I try to draw the authority to myself I'm interfering in his plan which won't be good for me or the world. It is telling me that I might get partial if I get such authority and that I don't have the wisdom it has so I should just stick to myself and my concerns and needs. It also tells me that it knows what is good for the world and what if bad and what is right for the world or what is best for the world. It also tells me that every person's karma will come to them. And that it wants me to live a life free of suffering and be peaceful and happy and child like experience love and bliss right till the end of life and join it later into eternity and there will be total loving peace in eternity with it. It is also telling me that I will be provided for and it will be given if I ask and nothing will be short and I will be given whatever I need but not whatever I want. I will be taken care of. It is telling me that things are meant to be the way they are in this world and that I am only supposed to find my way through it and live my life span happily. It is also telling me that the rules are mundane. That the rewards or pleasures or joys of the world are not that great that I should regret or feel like I'm missing out on something and also that the pain is not that big that I should not live in constant fear of it, like whatever I will suffer it will not be big or something I just can't take, I will only suffer as much as I can suffer so I don't have to worry about that, nothing will be given to me that I cannot handle at all, or I won't be burning in hell in this life or going through hell or be given so much suffering that it will feel like I'm living in hell, no that won't happen, I will be given suffering only as much as my body can take, not like unbearable unimaginable suffering so it tells me that I will be taken care of eventually, and that I should not catastrophize or anticipate suffering because that is just the fear of the mind and not real. It is telling me to stay cool and live life and happy experiences and memories and trust its love for me. And it is also telling me that it will guide me always. It is also telling me that I'm like a seesaw between pain and pleasure. That I should not slide to any extreme on this seesaw and keep myself in balance and not rely too much on the perspectives created by the world and be pure and free of illusions. It also indicated to me that spiritual experiences does not mean that any magical or miracles are going to happen, no they won't happen, there are no miracles of course the situation can get better and one can always ask for more endurance and strength to survive the difficult conditions and yes the soul will help you regain your strength, but nothing is going to the change what happened or change the past, suffering will not go away, no miracles will change a disease or an accident or bring back something that is lost and there will be a designated time when death will occur and the soul will leave the body. There will be self acceptance and endurance of conditions but life will stay the same. The most it does is make you more responsible towards life. But there is some hope. Even if you are in a bad situation and you don't expect any miracles yet your situation can improve, not change completely or miraculously but it can definitely improve the more you connect to this soul experience. And your soul will also give you the strength and endurance to combat your bad circumstances. It is also telling me that it will make a person a better person a more moral, loving, genuine, matured, responsible and spiritual person. It also told me that everyone is equal, and everyone deserves everything equally, no one deserves more or less whether perceived superior or inferior. It said that everyone deserves justice and there should not be any hate for anyone and no wishing of suffering on anyone but only condemnation of what is wrong. Then it said that everything paranormal is just another unexplored dimension of human life and is malicious or unpleasant and has nothing to do with being spiritual. It said that evil exists in the form of intentions and brings harm. And that evil can be replaced by good and that evil only causes more destruction good can only bring good. It also said that truly spiritual people will never bring any harm on anyone by any medium such as curses or any other but will be completely free of bad intention and will have a pure heart and a free mind. And that being spiritual is nothing but "being in tune" that being in the right rhythm of life and eternity with love, peace, happiness and freedom imbibing your soul. And aspirituality means being out of tune with the universal spirit of mother nature or universe. This means you are toxic and not in the moment but spending your energy in unfruitful ways and not living life in happiness or love and making everything worse instead of better,and not following the words or messages of the soul. It also said to me that being spiritual does not mean being successful in life, in fact far from it, and that worldly success is an illusion and a trap,being spiritual means living a peaceful life, not harming anyone and peacefully contributing to the betterment of oneself and environment and people or family. And it said that nothing magical will happen when you become deeply spiritual, you won't get any supernatural abilities or things will get possessed or some entity will be left behind when you die, nothing of that sort, you will die just like a regular death and nothing extraordinary will happen about you or your body or to the house or objects you leave behind. . Your energy after death will be peaceful to the environment just like you were in life. Your energy as a spiritual person will be free, loving, kind, non judgemental, peaceful and detached but serene and beautiful, not intense or obsessed or too passionate.. But calm.... More like a liberal hippie. Also you won't become a perfect person as a spiritual person, your imperfections on your body or mental issues will remain, although your calmness might diminish some of the symptoms and you will show good moral behavior and healthy life choices but other than that you won't become a perfect person or the ideal person as a society sees it. Also this communication told me that being spiritual does not mean something mystical or mythical happens and everything starts to look mysterious, nope, all that is just bogus to bring some appeal, but spiritual is just straight up free and simple and beautiful peaceful. I will call it self love soul communication. SLSC. SLSC experience. In short soul communication experience. Sce.

Read a bunch of experiences here. https://erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_Ayahuasca.shtml Every bit of information you need here: https://erowid.org/chemicals/ayahuasca/ayahuasca.shtml Personally, I've done 3 day Ayahuasca retreats 3 times. Every time has been beautiful. Yet every time is slightly different. My body dissolves. Time dissolves. I become one with everything. There is infinite knowledge. I can ask myself anything and get a clear answer. Time is irrelevant. There is a deep sense of gratitude and loving bliss. Beyond some nausea at the start, there is nothing negative of the experience. I highly highly suggest doing a ceremony. It expanded my awareness and opened me up to following my spiritual path.

@Leo Gura You are right there is nothing you could want more as a human being. It's why we are doing this work. And its why we continue to do this work. I do really commend those who have done and stuck to this work for decades and have not had a mystical experience yet. If it had not happened to me so quickly coming from the Materialist Paradigm i dont know if i would have dedicated my life to this work. As a materialist i needed to see scientific proof. So i really do commend those of you who have been on this path for a long time and feel that they haven't seen results yet. You are the true hero on the hero's journey. But fear not it is VERY real. You will get all the rewards and bliss just be patient. Or per Leo take some 5-Meo lol.

@Shaun This is what I don't understand. One minute a guru says one thing, the next the total opposite. Right, so, there is no me. My true Self is nothing. Hmm. @Leo Gura I sort of see what you are trying to say. The issue is, clearly, even as you type out this understanding, you can't not refer to people are 'you' or as another. Everyone sits on this forum and lambasts unconscious people. Well, a lot of them do. Isn't this what we are looking to avoid if, ultimately, they are lambasting themselves? I still don't understand why 'we' have a sense of self. There is nothing more 'real' to me than my 'sense' of self. As in, I am Paul.. I know what I like and I don't like.. I can't help that haha. For instance, a random example would be my taste in women aestetically. I know what I find attractive and not. I don't choose that, it just is. You also said that individuals are sort of like partitions of the God harddrive, if you will. Will limited powers. With God free will. So why does it matter how you identify yourself? Do I walk round saying I am a piece of God or can I just be Paul? What difference does it make.. Why do we have a 'mind' or thoughts if we aren't supposed to have them? I would claim that it would be impossible, as a human form or whatever, to ever achieve a state whereby you simply have no thoughts, no attachments, no opinions, no sense of self, no emotions, as was just nothing. You wouldn't function. You might as well be a vegetable. Is this the goal? It makes zero sense. I don't see the bliss in that... Now, I'm not claiming there is not such a state. I don't know. But I think some of these gurus need calling out on their bullshit (I'm not meaning you, Leo.. you're pretty consistent with what you say in fairness to you... I appreciate your posts and I do take them on board, just not 100% sure I can get on board with what you are saying at this point). Sadhguru for instance, one moment talks about being a human being and there only being one life inside the body. Then he claims there is no you. And claims we are all one, and not to think about things you don't understand. Then he posts online about voting and democracy... like we have free will and a choice. He's also quite nationalistic.. I watched something once where he was pretty peeved about the past relationship between India and the UK. Why does he get annoyed at this and feel the need to call it out? Shouldn't he just be accepting what is? I think I saw @Leo Gura posting about the slave trade and reperations that should be paid. Why consider this? That isn't accepting what is? It has been and gone, are we to just accept it as God's will.. or are you fighting God?

@clouffy Sheer bliss mode..............

@Paul Almost everybody says this, sadghuru for example, leo also. I have my own personal experience also. Another example from an interesting interview lately posted in this forum: So reality is a paradox, not logical.I think your logical conclusons limit you. Your little human brain cannot grasp reality with logic. Furthermore you hold on false beliefes which seems so true for you right now, It will pass. Because truth will at the end destroy false beliefs. So count on that there is truth out there which is too good to be true, you just did not realized it yet Your kundalini may be activated. I highly recommend the kundalini book I told you. The process is well defined, after dark nights there is bliss. but then some dark nights come again, but I think you went really through the hardest part so it will be better. Many tips are there how to endure dark nights Welcome the dark nights, you will grow A LOT when you go out of it and you will be rewarded so keep going, So much change right now in your life, that is a good sign

I was exactly like this one year ago. I did not feel myself. Depersonalization, derealization, fear, panic attacks, depression, agony, dysphoria and etc. Was a real hell. I had no hope. I thought there was no chance to recover. I gave up meditation. Started antidepressants again. (I had used them before). My parents forced me to go to work and that was a good thing. I went out of my "Enlightenment" thoughts and started to get involved in life. And... when I was coming home from work walking and felt bliss, peace and the things which were making me suffer, such as meaninglessness, emptiness were now giving me bliss, freedom. But it was temporary for several days. Then same life (before Dark Night) restarted. Now I am reading Daniel Ingram's book "Mastering the core teachings of the Buddha". He says there are stages in Vipassana. Dark Night is the one you are experiencing now. He recommends keeping practicing. This is from his book:

@Gabriel Antonio Hello gabriel. Thank you. I am certainly not depressed. And yes I am aware of Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs and that's exactly what I am trying to take care of right now, the career/LP part. My definition of self actualization is: to achieve my highest possiblities and live the greatest life that I can live. (this definition includes Absolute Truth) For me, the point of self-actualization is that I am a finite creature with a finite lifetime and that I can achieve my greatest possiblities, what coud be better than this? (Excluding "Reaching a divine-like state and feeling eternal bliss" )

Maybe you have depression. One of its classic signs is loss of interest. Conversely, I'd ask you, "What's the point of self-actualization"? And more further, what is your idea of self-actualization? Reach a divine-like state and feel eternal bliss? If so, that's a very unrealistic expectation. "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." Btw - Have you read more about the hierarchy of needs, by Abraham Maslow?

@MM1988 You are not making the distinction between egoic and trans-egoic. From the perspective of the ego, there is egoic love and egoic hate. There is egoic beauty and egoic ugliness. There is egoic bliss and egoic pain. There is egoic peace and egoic suffering. From the perspective of the ego, it wants to get rid of the egoic hate, ugliness, pain and suffering and keep egoic love, beauty, bliss and peace. This is the obsession of the ego and the cause of great suffering. Transcending the ego means it all dissolves: egoic love, hate, beauty, ugliness, bliss, pain, suffering and peace. All of the ego-based interpretations are transcended and dissolve. At a trans-egoic state there may arise transcendental forms of Love, Beauty, Bliss and Peace - yet these are distinct from egoic self-need based versions. If one transcends the ego, there is no "you" to be ugly anymore. The mind-body is whole and complete - whether or not anyone thinks the body is beautiful or ugly. The mind-body will not desire to make racist jokes because it can do whatever it wants. The is no "you" vs "me". You are missing the transcendental aspect of this. This is why direct experience is so important. A mind-body can intellectualize transcending itself, yet that aint it. Not even close. The emodiment comes with direct experience.

Leo's latest video on scientific dualities triggered a deep sense of discomfort within me, for good. It felt like falling in an endless well. It started with panic (of having lost the pointers to map my experiences) and soon transformed into bliss (of realizing that I was the creator of those categories anyway, and I can make them as up as I want, if I want). My mind tends to be really active in symbols and symbolic imagery, and with the intention of integrating this with my everyday life, I started to wonder what the role of symbols (like the language I am using to get this across to you) is - in the whole network of reality. Have you seen a Rainbow? It doesn't just have seven colors. The distinction between what we call Violet and Indigo is not easily discernible. An example, quoted from an Environmental Psychology book 'Drunk Tank Pink' A 'thing' does not exist until it is categorized in some fashion. A category does not exist until it is 'defined' within rigid boundaries and is given a name. This seems obvious when you get it. Leo's 3 part series on Dualities is to trigger an unlearning process of the 20 years of schooling / scientific indoctrination. Analysis is crucial for intellectual work. For finding distinctions, developing a set of characteristics that define it and studying those set of characteristics to form conclusions. But the problem with this approach is that Analysis leaves out more than it covers. We keep adding new words into our dictionaries every year because new concepts are born every year. Further, different cultures have a fundamentally different concept of, for example, time. Synthesis attempts to rectify this problem by zooming out as wide as possible and noticing all the subtle and nuanced ways everything is networked together. True Holism is the integration of Analysis AND Synthesis.

@kieranperez The middle part, the bliss of no ego, no overthinking, with regards to your recent trip report - There, all ‘things’ become known, and There all things are possible. Through meditation, and inspection of what disappeared and how - going into that “middle part”- as well as the inspection of how “it” reappears, coming out of that middle part. Psychedelics are helpful, absolutely, but also, nothing is hidden from you. You are asking about practicality, putting it into words. Consider it can not be put into words, rather, the path to it is present in your words themselves. Something I find very helpful, is taking the time to go back and read one’s own post - and look for where it was covered, evaded, suppressed, avoided. Many posts are of the ‘right’ question, few posters allow themselves to receive the answer. Usually the post of a question becomes the unseen attraction of like mindedness. And do not make the grave mistake of misinterpreting any “bad” emotions as of the circumstances, nor of what others say. Use the circumstances, use what others say - which bothers you - use THAT. Do not trust the thoughts, trust the emotions. They have eternally guided you. Listen.

This week... Wow. I can't even put it into words what's occuring/occured. Change... Definitely but in a way I cannot say, I cannot verbalise. I keep stopping and feeling this overwhelming love, joy and bliss. I don't wanna sound cliché and I know it can because we all seem to be using the same type of words to communicate this but it's so hard to put it into language. I'm starting to realise that I have HEAVILY underestimated... Actually... Not underestimated but... Maybe looking at things from a different paradigm might be the right word to use. I'm starting to question what the mind ACTUALLY is. Like on a deeper experiential level. I see I have been looking at some questions from the smallest of corners I could of. From the most limited perspective. Reality, life, god, whatever the fuck it is... Seems to be opening up right before me. Everything is growing in depth, width, breadth and height. The way I can possibly describe it is I feel I am not looking at life (reality) anymore from my small self. From my corner, from this one perspective, it's more holistic, deeper, more breathtaking perspective. I can't describe it. I wish I could. I close my eyes and breath, 'it' is there.... The perspective I speak of. Edit: don't know if this adds to anything but my own delusions and egoic needs lies and manipulations are literally appearing more and more in front of me everyday.

Is the other way around. Joy, bliss, mind expansion, wellbeing is normal. So if you see blissful people and think is not normal, than you are sick, trapped by the balls in thos social cancer. Metaphor: this 3 headed hydra with 1000 eyes, pure apathy and disaster.

Easy, forgetting you have a heart and breath. Is not a limitation, more than 90% of the population is sick, is called social cancer, in other words, education as we know it in the mainstream. We make the best we can in this life by letting go or going into learning how to behave and than disaster comes. There is no way around this. Transcencence cannot live fully in a dormant\sick environment. And the majority prefer to be sick, even if they call that bliss. Heart cannot be bought, nor learned.

@KarlaThat's my first exposure to wikihow. Nice site! I'm reminded me of an alternative,,,,, becoming a Bozosatva http://www.halexandria.org/dward015.htm Voltaire once said that, “God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh.” In a similar vein (as opposed to an artery), the prolific and world renowned writer whose pen name is Anonymous is reputed to have said, “Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.” Evan Hodkins of the School of Alchemy <http://www.schoolofalchemy.com> has creating a fine art of what he refers to as “Self-Squandering Love-Mischief.” In his unique deconstruction of the English language, Hodkins writes: “According to tradition, the Buddha, scaling the wall of Nirvana, beheld the paradisal riches of infinite bliss, and decisively slipped over the barrier into total Enlightenment. He was gone! The Bodhisattva similarly encountered Nirvana, but conscientiously elected to return to Earth to assist in the illumination of all sentient beings. Hence, the image of the Bodhisattva, like Christ, elucidates the archetype of self-transcending servanthood. Those who undertake the Bodhisattva path attempt to ‘love without loving’ -- without attachment to the outcome of the service rendered. The urge to serve is not compromised by expectations of rewards or recognition. [See, as an additional example, true Philanthropy.] This style of compassion is less like Velcro, more like Teflon. It isn’t sticky and it doesn’t make a mess! Become a Bodhisattva and your Vampire days are over! “The trouble is, the Bodhisattva is vulnerable to episodes of terminal seriosity. Too much somber service and the heart goes sour, bodies get exhausted and the old lethargy returns with a compensatory vengeance. G. K. Chesterton said, ‘Life is entirely too important to be taken seriously.’ We’re all Bozos on the same bus -- colorful screwups orchestrating gleeful good for the sake of all Bozo-kind. So how exactly do we systematically unfrown the world? Add a pinch of tomfoolery and a dash of anonymous love-mischief to every splendid day. Be love-idiots and merry pranksters. It’s the traceless way. The formula is simple -- you watched it on TV when you were just a puppy -- wear a fashionable mask, ride into town on a white horse, work your transformative magic, accidentally drop a silver bullet here and there, then skidaddle, leaving everyone in town scratching their heads in wonderment. Wake up! Why park your carcass in the Land of Despair? We’re ambassadors of joviality and dis-arming tenderness. Let’s mirth-ify the planet one person at a time.” Now does that have the potential for fun, or what! With the same kind of abandon one can practice using the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, we can roam about creating mischief of the love variety, Close Encounters of the Love Kind. Even if you’re only doing it to office mates -- with the more terminally serious ones reaping the more outlandish benefits -- it’s all in the attitude. And if you don’t like where you’re at, change your latitude as well! And check out Evan’s stuff -- there is tons more on being a Bozo-Sattva than is dreamt of in this small webpage. Just be sure and come back to: http://www.halexandria.org/dward015.htm Caution!! Going onto the http://www.halexandria.org/home.htm causes a time warp in which hours can fly by,,,

How I treat others is an reflection of how I treat myself. I don't need to develop the skills to live life authentically because I already have it all inside of me now as my authentic self. The thing that holds me back is me attacking myself (which manifests as symptoms of low self worth, nervousness, anxiety, anger, sadness, regret, and unhelpful behaviour). If I become aware of an attack thought towards an outside source, there will be a corresponding attack inward on the same trait. Become aware of the quality of the trait being attacked and consciously make peace with it. Dislike of myself manifests in an obsession with external approval from others. The approval seeking self is the symptom, the attacking of myself is the root cause. Beware of blindly accepting the needy self expression - don't accept it as self, look to the deeper cause and work with that. (There is a notable shift in energy as a write this- my experience expanded, I became more present, I feel lighter, my breathing has slowed down, there is an increase in personal power, increase in contentment, less seeking, less avoidance, less turmoil- inner stillness and less emotion). I have tried to cease thoughts before but it never worked. This method seems to stop the thoughts much better so that I can enter Samadhi experience. I have just done a quick pranayama breath and opened myself upto the present moment. Deep peace, no emotion, no thought, just panoramic presence of sitting in this park on this warm spring afternoon with the sun gently warming my back. No shame, but still inhibited. Low self worth, fear, anxiety, emotional labour is not my true identity. When I say identity I mean my true nature. Fear and contraction is not my true nature. I wonder if states of bliss and peace heal and rejuvenate the body and mind? It feels as if I need a well earned break from my mind attacking me 24/7 The sadness came back. But this time I noticed that I am already present to this. That I don't need to create a watcher, that the watcher is always present and that any knowing of the watcher can only be the thought of the watcher in my mind. As thought recognizes the ever present watcher the feeling becomes more raw, more physical, more pronounced. I thought is not the watcher. I thought appears in front of the watcher and tries to identify as the watcher. But it can never identify as the watcher. The watcher is always free of what is seen. Forever free. What is the nature of the watcher? Thought is attending to investigate the nature of the ever present watcher. Ever present Untouched Still Permanent Vast Open Unlimited Unbound Unwavering Awake The light Unshakable Untouchable Unmanifest Free Absolute Reliable Consistent Unperturbed and unpreturbable Innocent Stillness itself (non conceptual stillness) Infinate depth There is a sense of peace and freedom and a shifting of the sadness as mind talks about the ever present watcher. Heart feels open, raw, sensitive, raw pain unprocessed. Body is mega relaxed but alert, sensisitive, like a big cat eyeing up it's prey. Alert but still. The watcher is manifest in the body now, permeating the body with nothingness. 3 more pranayama breaths and I'm at the end of today's journal - what I'm witnessing is indescribable.

@Matt8800 I'm also into the occult for the same reasons as you. I had very little success with meditation and self inquiry. Overall it was just too boring for me and nothing really was happening apart from some nice bliss moments. I have a really nice book on the occult: The sacred tradition of ancient egypt Could you (and everyone else) please share resources and your experiences using and practicing the resources? People on here tend to be very much into Buddhism and Zen and more traditional routes. These leaves people like us with a lack of resources and support. So lets build it up! My experience practising ancient Egypt has been very moving. I started practising ancient egypt rituals a year ago, the biggest impact it had on me was my creativity, I was able to tap into infinite intelligence(much like the one described in Leo's video) using the riturals practiced in Ancient Egypt. I've had deep deep visions of engineering and science creations, and completely different perspectives of laws of physics which are totally different to Newtonian and Quantum physics. Its given my a deep life purpose, one to build a highly conscious society that is deeply in touch with intuition and the essence of science(essence of science = exploration + observation).

For peace, True happiness and liberation you have to go beyond the world not merging with it. False God/Devil He owns this illusionary world and controls it. Making you consciuos of it fully and making you feel this ultimate bliss might be his Best trick.

Ego is false nature. It happens when you are not aware of your True nature. If you are, you wouldn't call your self God since there is no self to claim such thing. In reality there is nothing in unreality there is everything. You are Reality and self is in unreality claiming it's God/non sense. Monks and hermitts revert back into themselves and abandon unreality/phenomenal world. It's not about the bliss it's about Truth. Truth is really hard to swallow isn't it. ??️

Oh... Ok Void itself is True Self. This void "your entire life happened" it thinks it is a self a doer a thinker. All things that happened inside are unreal. All phenomena, all mystical states all bliss. It has no self nature it is Just there unmoving unchanging and it is not a self. It is nothing and all phenomena that appear inside it are nothing too without substance all illusionary. So no as self you can only be devil. I AM is ultimate delusion.

@Dodo Well, if you’re asking, it’s conceptual. That’s a thought, which just materialized. Trade creating thoughts, for creating the life you want. There are hundreds of millions of virgins. Just do the work, you’ll see them. You might not even think so small of females, with ample self exploration. You might find that bliss, is better than sex. The pleasures of sex are made of this. A reduction, a limitation for creation, of what you could be feeling all day everyday. Radical honesty is the Way. Let it all out, on paper. Good luck. Make sure you’re taking full advantage of all resources available to you in terms of well being.

@zeroISinfinity yeah i get that. as in your ego is making attachment to the bliss state. but at the same time arent we basically burning karmas at the highest rate when we r in that state of Bliss? so basically your talking about the masters layer? the nirvanic layer? ok so if nothing we perceive is real. do you just mean it isn't real in the sense that our egos try to make us believe it is real, so it can trick us into attaching meaning and reasons to chasing them? and therefore we shouldnt be making attachment to it. and through that conciosuness can expand infinitely throughout, and things aren't permanent or real in that sense?

Thank you @outlandish! Great info. The reason I even ask, is I'm am very experienced with Ayahuasca. I find it to be gentle and blissful. But I have a lot of fear around 5-Meo, to the point of I just can't surrender to it. Tried a couple of times. It's a full on panic attack. So thought maybe a good time to take 5-MeO is right after a Aya ceremony, so I'm going into it already in that blissed out space. So could be better equipped to surrender. I think I've decided to try it two days after my upcoming 3 day Aya ceremony. It'll be out of my system, so no worries of mixing anything. But I'll still be in a state of bliss, so might be a good space for doing 5-MeO.

Spiritual work is not for bliss chasers it is for wise and serious People.