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I spent a lot of my life trying to keep up with men at physical labor jobs. Raking blueberries, demoing, lawn work, whatever. It was an obvious thing that i eventually had to accept that I could work twice as hard and still not match them. When we hired out a ton of plumbing work I had to leave the house because the plumbers dope (pipe adhesive), started literately making me high. I don't remember what I said to the plumbers but I left the house and drove to my parent's house. The roads were snowy but it was warm and sunny and I remember seeing the sky reflected in the road and just being so fascinated that the road looked like it fell away into the nothingness of the sky and having an almost enlightenment experience. Then I thought about how all those men have gotten so used to those fumes, day in and day out working stuck in a basement all day. And I was really really grateful to them. Most women are too smart and care too much about their health to do that kind of work. I truly admire men who do blue collar labor, the truck drivers, the construction workers. Sure women can do that kind of work, but most can't or won't. This is a fact that we're just supposed to ignore. And our ignorance of it, is why rural America elected Donald Trump. Stage green feminism elitism has created a monster.

Past vs Future You are reading Self-written words (right now in an eternal moment) from a past-Self-me to future-Self-you. We share The-Self through communion. What is communion but my-Self communicating to your-Self. Reality is a trick coin! Both sides are heads! Because what is heads and tails? A duality. 1=0 because 0=∞ Why does 0=∞? Because 0 infinitely divides into 0. 0 = ∞ + 1 = 0 + 1 This means that 0 = any number 0 = 5, 0 = 1,000,000, 0 = 52 [%] The division symbol is a 0 seperated by a 0 by a line. 0 cannot be seperated from 0 because they are entangled. You vs Me is another duality. The coin analogy shows us we exist on the same coin or as the same Self (The Entirety of the coin) Kundalini The symbolism of kundalini is how you were born. Your father released sperm and it travelled to the egg. Kundalini Awakening Kundalini is life energy - sperm - (root chakra) traveling up the spine to the egg (crown chakra), where Self is centered. The whole proccess of kundalini awakening is re-birth as God-Self or No-self. You are born again as Nothingness, or Absolute 0, or Self. Bubble Bath Analogy Imagine a bubble bath where there is a formation of lots of small bubbles. Now imagine these small bubbles break their distinctions with the other bubbles. The bubbles would just become Bubble. Big Cook, Little cook We all exist as The Same One/Zero Big Cook, however, we believe we are all little cooks. Centering Self-Centering is the process of looking through Self, as Self. Self is background, which means before-ground or before-form. That means that background is the groundless-ground or the formless-form, Self. Foreground self The fore-ground self is what you are identified with. It's false-hood, you can't put a hood on a headless-head. Centering Exercise Focus awareness on foreground. E.g. the wall. Then, whilst focusing on foreground, focus on the proccess of looking and also bring awareness on the nose and just start noticing there is a background Self. Note: You can always see your nose in Actuality, the mind filters it out. So your mind cuts off it's own nose, like voldemort. Focus on the proccess of looking and don't let the nose disappear. Just allow your-self to keep looking as Self, until breakthrough. Combine Centering with Kundalini Yoga. "Staying on your centre is being centerless."

It's funny that you just posted this now because I've been going through this, only for me it's a revival. I was raised as a Christian and my parents had already left the church and were bitter about the organized religion part of it when I was very young. I took an interest in it myself and studied my Bible on my own, mostly just the gospels but I also loved Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. There were a lot of verses that I would read again and try to understand. As a teenager and young adult I deeply, deeply hated other Christians and the status quo. It's like I wanted to suffer because most of the friends I made were Christian and those friends judged me for being friends with other people that they thought were "bad". I even had a Satanist friend and he was a blast. I was always trying to separate out the truth of Jesus from all the bullshit. I let go of the whole idea, shortly after getting into Buddhism. It's a really scary thing to step away from the thing that you've been taught is your "salvation" and "hope of eternal life". But I knew I had found the truth with nonduality. Those verses that perplexed me and frustrated me, one by one I understood them as epiphanies. My new dogma was nonduality. My new dogma was letting go of my past, not putting hope in a future. My new dogma was the present moment and nothingness, no attachment. Then after a few years it stopped serving me. My entire purpose for nonduality was so I could have mental peace. I became depressed and old patterns flooded in but at the same time, I started connecting deeply with different types of energy from places, and having inexplicable attractions to them. It all unfolded into an awakening in which I accepted that I had always tried to be good, and never recognized the devil in myself. I had been raised to be a moral, good Christian girl and I had truly wanted to be one. When I outgrew it I turned to Buddhism and non duality to serve the same purpose, so I could see myself as a good person. After I recognized the Devil in myself I truly experienced what is meant by the Holy Spirit, it is the same as kundalini energy. Of course! This is nonduality! My eyes were opened to the true mystic, Gnostic Jesus I had loved all along, more fully himself/myself. Christians have buried the nondual teachings and they don't understand the ones that persist in the Bible. They weeded out hundred of years ago. That's why it's so very dangerous, without an open mind, without wisdom and understanding you will turn nondual teachings into the worst kind of hell. I highly suggest reading the gospel of Thomas. Jesus goes way deeper than Buddha. He has an outrageous sort of love, and there are predictions and signs and tough riddles to understand that aren't present with Buddhism. It takes a very open mind to dive into this stuff.

@EvilAngel did your sense of self vanish and experience nothingness ?

@Anna1 would love to hear your perspective. What i have become conscious of is that free will and no free will are dualities so when collapsed there is only Infinity. Can't be free will from Gods perspective. There there is just formlessness and everything that ever happened or didnt happen is contained within but as pure potential.. nothingness. But then he creates dualities through form..he creates your perspective (which is still him) and he gives you free will....Or so it seems, from your perspective! It's brilliant! Of course again i use "he" metaphorically for God or Awareness. Or absolute Infinity.

Thanks @Leo Gura . That's quite a profound answer. I'm planning on doing some tomorrow. Can you perhaps share what your schedule looked like on your 30 day retreat in regards to doing 5 MEO? Best to meditate before or after? I always find when I mediate after , even for a few days after, that its just nothingness. Which is great. Then the monkey mind always returns at some point.

@pluto Interesting.Drop all methods and surrender to life ? Can you please elaborate more. What is this light body connecting with Avatar ? Is that beyond nothingness ?? Can you name some enlightened masters and books by them ?

@Truth Addict I wanted to say that I appreciate what you are saying in this post and the other post that you created, because is good to see other perspectives, or as you said, we will be stuck in our position only. I think is good to be honest and share an honest opinion. The only thing that it called my attention was that you and Joseph were in a position in which if we didn't think the way you did we were Leo's butt kissers or we were in a cult following Leo like he is a kind of Guru with some kind of paranormal power. I think we need to understand that we are here to share our views, but we can't impose them to others, because saying that we are butt kissers of Leo is like, saying "Ok, you don't like my observations? So now you are this or that" it's a kind of emotional blackmail I think. When I said to Joseph that we should just share our visions and do criticism yes, but to certain point. You know people takes a lot of time to change and if we keep pressuring someone to impose our vision finally what we are going to get is the opposite result. When I said we should only tell our differences and share our views, Joseph asked me "how do we grow then?" And that was when I told him just seeing and sharing our experiences. Then he said "Ok, why don't we hold our hands and sing Kumbaya?" I don't know, that kind of responses makes me not to want to talk to that person anymore, really. but let me tell you something, nothing is going to make me get angry with anyone or not accept a critic it doesn't matter from where it comes. there's nothing that will make me feel bad or will anger me because of a criticism. And if it happens, I will just watch the emotion and know that I am nothingness and problem solved!!! Lol... I just wanted to share this with you and I appreciate your honesty for sharing your vision with us. Sleep well and have a dream with unicorns!

Oh gosh, I refuse to believe that you're dense. It's like you want it to continue . How is it that there is something, a 'me' that is perception itself, that cannot be located and does not have any attributes? Try describing infinity. Can you do that? Try describing nothingness. Can you do that? Try describing a 'me' that cannot be located and does not have any attributes. Can you do that? Do you know the nature of that mistake? It's not about factual incorrectness, it's about seeing. You read a book, a detective story, that has a plot twist at the end and where the whole thing gets recontextualized. All bits fall into their right places, it's not the maid - it's the butler! What is that moment, the illumination? Can it be perceived? No - it's the footprint of mental scaffolding crumbling, revealing the truth. You do not add thoughts in this work, you remove them. You may have removed many things, but identification is still there. You don't see infinity, you treat it as a concept. What triggers you about Leo is your own concept that you're trying to overcome and you're blaming him for it.

stories are true and non true. even what nahm said, doesn't work in all situation. it's so easy to explain non duality. imagine aliens comes on earth, they have none of our biologic content and our education, they are made of particles of metal and still kind of talks with electronic waves and have no eyes or ears. would they figure out what an "HAND" is ? how would you explain them what a concept is, even what a word is, a noise. this is what is non duality, knowing that all there is in "reality" is nothingness, or whatever your mind put an attribut on. in a litteral sense, mathematic truly doesn't exist. it just is a key we use to unscript what reality probably is at best, that's why the world is working upon theory of truth, not on "truth" what alien would"see" is true non duality in a way. Unless their own tongue is paved in a duality realm and they got their own duality problems with their waves

The substance of Reality is nothing. However Reality is Infinite, so another word for Reality is Absolute Infinity. It just IS itself. There is no where else to go. There can't be anything outside of it. Infinity allows it the freedom to be A Mechanical - it needs no mechanism and it can be conscious - and feel, and love. so another word for Reality is Consciousness. It's a Mind. This Mind is nothingness - but since it's Infinite, it contains within it all possiblities, including none at all (non existence). Existence and Non-Existence or super imposed right on top of eachother because there is no where else to go. So what you get is Existence and non-existence cancelling each other out - and your'e left with Reality being a Dream - or hallucination. The substance of which, is nothing. Again, all possibilities are still included within this Infinite singularity. That's where the relativity comes in. God creates perspectives through form, and explores itself through an infinite number of perspectives. This form - you, me, your coffee table, black holes, EVERYTHING, is couched within the formlessness, or nothingness, but at the same time its One. It unfolds as we "be" our perspective, or in other words we create form, from the nothingness. But it was Always there! Reality is absolutely Relative in that it doesn't just appear that way - That's how it actually is! It's only perspectives. But so much so that is Absolutely so! Making it Absolute! It's perfect. Being = Formlessness minus the form Your perspective is a finitude or part, of infnity, or God - it is form within the formlessness, so it's still both. Your being it right now!

@Soul-lover 2020 The word nothingness (no-thing-ness), refers to God/Consciousness/Pure Awareness etc. (it has many labels). The very act of defining and conceptualizing those words, this doesn't hold/work since labels can't really accurately describe what they're pointing at. Language has its limits. You're trying to conceptualize what can't be conceptualized. Mental masturbation can be useful in regards to enlightenment, but at the same time it can be easy to get lost in the world of concepts, trying to understand and maybe to experience "God"-Consciousness from the perspective of the ego, which ultimately fails. The contrast between the paradigm/experience of ego-self, and "God", is quite radical.

nope. words can acquire different meanings from the ones presented in dictionaries. language is not a static phenomenon. the word "bug" is a simple example. when we study something with a specific group, it's very likely that the group will come up with its own set of meanings for certain words. this is exactly what happened to the word "nothingness", which is an attempt to point to the same "thing" as "sunyata", "buddha nature" etc. i don't know whether or not those are of your interest. in any case, i'm not trying to convince you (or anyone else) of anything. arguing is useless... you either have had a mystical experience beyond the mind or you haven't. i'm done here.

If you can't be truthful with the definitions of words without resorting to sarcasm, then you only succeed at invalidating your beliefs. Here's the literal definition for nothingness: nothingness NOUN mass noun The absence or cessation of life or existence. Agreed?

The definition for "nothingness" isn't "consciousness" at all. Try again.

there isn't any . i'm using jargons. "nothing" usually means "devoid of anything". "nothingness" usually means "pure consciousness".

Ajasatya, Okay. Can you please share with me the official dictionary definitions for nothing and "nothingness". Thanks! My problem with your definition of God is that it actually renders the word meaningless. For God to be real, He, She or It has to be distinguishable from everything else. Otherwise you can't really believe that God exists. Andrea

@Soul-lover 2020 persons, plants, monkeys, lions, butterflies, rocks, water, atoms etc are the avatars of GOD. GOD lives through everything, as everything. GOD lives through dogs and barks; GOD lives through birds and sings; GOD lives through human beings and composes music, writes poetry, observes the Universe (also, GOD itself) and says "I AM". GOD is creation, creator and creativity. and by "nothingness" i don't mean "nothing". this is pretty much as far as words can go.

@1liamo78 Nothingness is not the space inside a bubble nor the space outside a bubble. It's Nothing. But even that is saying one word too much.

It is crazy because you are denying the fundamental fact of you as a created being. Your unproven claim to 'godhood' is a wholly irrational belief that is not grounded in reality. Anyone who regularly hears "voices", hallucinates on drugs, or allows himself to always be led by what he "feels", could think the same way that you do. "Nothingness is reading these words." The reader of your words is a real person, but your claims amount to NOTHING.

@Gili Trawangan you are much further down the path than you give yourself credit for. And yes, it's real. Awakening is the miracle of all miracles. It's amazing. So moving on..why the thoughts if we are awareness. Well remember awareness is the formless or the nothingness that you are. But in order for God. - you - to explore yourself - you must create form. It's an illusion technically because the substance is formless. So you in your current form are a "part" of the whole. You have to be finite because you have form. But you are a perspective through which God can explore himself. At the same time though, you are still the whole chabang. You are still God. But its the only way God can BE himself. Of course i use the word "he" metaphorically as there is no bearded guy in the sky. It's all you. The form will have thoughts and emotions and subconscious, all of it to explore. And God in his infinite power created the perfect design. We as mere mortals can grasp what we can with our finite minds - but we can tap into ourselves and discover ourselves with things like meditation. That's the beauty. With that we can raise our consciousness and we can discover our true nature. Hope that makes sense. Also welcome and much love.

because GOD is the very nature of what everything is. GOD is the ultimate experiencer, experienced and experience. it will sound crazy until you integrate a few (or several) heavy mystical experiences. nothingness is reading these words...

@nowimhere A memory of “it” is simply an appearance Now. That memory can get further contextualized as an experience with meaning by the mind. This memory/experience/contextualiztion isn’t Nothingness. However, the memory/experience/contextualization may have benefit to the human mind and body. I try to maintain awareness of whether attachments and identifications form with the memory/experience/contextualization - because that can lead to a contracted mental state. I haven’t smoked 5-meo, yet I have vaped freebase and plugged HCL. Vaping is much shorter in duration with a milder afterglow. Yet, vaping offers the ability to modulate the intensity/experience in real time. For me, plugging duration is usually about 20 of full immersion and about 40min. of afterglow. Yet it’s a gradual process, there isn’t a “switch” from immersion to afterglow.

@nowimhere Yeah, been there. Plugging can last as long as 1-2 hrs. Usually closer to 1 hr. You struggle to remember it because it is not a memory but the very present moment. So any memory of it will not be it. You can't capture Nothingness in any way. It must be located NOW, NOW, NOW. No symbols can be used.

@Serotoninluv just me as I am now without tryin to think about any philosophical questions about inside this bubble, just a simple man with a simple mind in a transparent container that holds the normal laws of physics , this exercise gave me a feeling of nothingness for a short moment and it was profound ,