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I know an awakened guy who shared with me he also got sore balls , so go figure.

Well, yesterday night I got a message from @Leo Gura - while watching the 5th season of House of Cards - in which he asked me how much 5-MeO-DMT trips I needed to wake up. After answering his question I shared with him a short version of the story how it all happened -- how I woke up. He suggested then that I should share this with you guys to inspire and educate you. And although it's still strange for me to talk about it in detail, it's the right thing to do. Just a year ago I had one wish and one wish only: To know exactly how it is like. And I will give my best shot in trying to articulate it. Before I start though, I will give you some perspective where I'm coming from at this. What my background is, because that's utterly important if you want to understand how my journey took place and how the dynamics of the awakening worked. +++ My Background: How I Got Introduced To Self-Actualization / Enlightenment +++ So let's go back two years. I'm 19 years old, sitting in my old room in my parents house in the night watching Leo's first video on enlightenment. At that time, I moved to Berlin, began my studies and I felt completely fucked up. I mean, my life in general worked out. My studies were going great, I moved to the city that I wanted to live in, ... . But I was feeling just shitty and insecure. I got bullied when I was 12-14 years old for making crappy rap music and it seemed that all that fear and insecurity from that time started to bubble up. I had a chronic feeling of being overwhelmed with my life, being anxious because of that and I didn't have the courage to speak about it to someone because I was deeply convinced that it would make me seem weak and like a victim - and I could not allow that. So, if you asked a friend of mine at that time, he would've described me as this charismatic, confident dude whose life is going pretty well. That's what I pretended to be on the outside. I am pretty charismatic and confident - so that's not a lie - but I used it as a shield so that people wouldn't notice what is going on with me. Coming back to the night in my parents house where I watched the first enlightenment video, I'm just like: "That's my last chance. I have to try this, if this works (and I just believed Leo at that time because I resonated with his style of teaching) I can live in peace." I hated myself at that time, hated who I was and how my life went, so it seemed like a good idea to kill this guy called Azrael. Also, I was fascinated by the idea that this could be possible. I had never heard about the concept of enlightenment before and although I was deeply interested in psychology / philosophy and naturally way too curious about this world, I had kind of given up on ever really knowing what is going on here. This seemed like a solution to that as well. So, I started to meditate the next day. +++ My Journey: How I Made It Happen +++ I have one big advantage over other people and that is: I get fascinated with stuff pretty deeply. Like, when there is a topic that I'm interested in I melt into that. I will research everything that there is about it, look at all the experts in the field, fall platonically in love with them, mimic how they talk and think, what they are interested in. I will live in that dream of that fascination. I will think about it all the day, associate everything that I do with it and make it my thing. That's basically me. That's why I am so young and so old at the same time. Because I live that shit. And as you can guess, I did the same stuff with my journey. I meditated, self-enquired, contemplated and tried to wrap my head around it. In the first year I was just very motivated and tried to get it all in. I knew nothing about it and I wanted to "get in there". So what happened? I actually began to feel better. I had my first realizations, I had cool meditations, began to experience my first mystical experiences and started to do psychedelics - mostly LSD and DMT. So, a year goes by and I'm sitting at home. I moved a few months before that to a new apartment and Leo just released his video on "Free Will". Still, one of my favourites of all time. After I watched the video I meditated on the question "What is going to happen next?" for an hour. In that meditation a very strange thing happened. It felt like something cracked in my head and a lot of thoughts came up. I finished the meditation, began to cook something and noticed for the first time that I am able to listen to my thoughts while knowing that I don't say them myself. Looking back at that, I think it was the point at which my unconscious opened a gateway to my conscious awareness and started to really process some shit. After that, the most horrifying year of my entire life started. My anxiety increased to a top, my unconscious thoughts increased to a top and just hypnotized me all day long. I just couldn't stay mindful. I was scared to leave the house because I was hyper-sensitive about everything. I was a mess. I was so fucked up that I doubted that this is still purging and I sometimes assumed that I am just mentally ill. That I'm a schizophrenic, with PTSD, anxiety disorder and paranoid. That's basically a good description on how I felt for most of the days. At that time, I had probably the deepest realizations. Funnily, if you are in such a bad state you grow a lot and pretty fast because you are meta-analysing yourself all the time (because you are so fucked up) and through that you naturally have a lot of realizations and crazy experiences. From time to time it would stop for 1-2 weeks and I would have deep moments of bliss and clarity. Then the roller-coaster would start all over again and it would get worse. Just a big fucking mess. Needless to say that this was also the time in which I tried everything. Every kind of meditation you know, every kind of teaching that is out there, any psychedelic that I could get my hands on. I was on it. I tried it, analysed and tried to use it to get me out of that horrible state. As I will later state, this time was the time in which my mind began to awaken. I just wasn't really aware of that because simultaneously it was flooded by so many disturbing thoughts and my body was fucked up with so many tensions and bad emotions. This cycle basically kept going for the whole year, intensified and lowered, intensified and lowered. In the summer I got tired of it. I got tired of feeling so bad. I even had suicidal thoughts sometimes (which then freaked me out even more). So I stopped seeking. I still committed to the practice, still did my thing but I just gave up that this would ever stop. I just couldn't see how. In the autumn and winter of that year I started fucking around with 5-MeO-DMT and shrooms. I also started using HoloSync. At that time I had some interesting changes happening. After my first 5-MeO-DMT sessions the tensions in my head completely vanished. That was nice but I was still in pain, still in fear. I also didn't have the nice blissful phases any more, I just felt mostly tired and sick of this shit. That was basically my journey. A big fucking mess. A lot of trial and error, a lot of dedication and fascination. +++ The Awakening of The Mind +++ In the summer of this horrifying year my mind awakened. I had a few awakening experiences before that but non that lasted. In the summer I had one Kundalini awakening. I just sat on my couch, was pretty exhausted and tired that day and thought about a girl that had rejected me at that time. Suddenly this ball of energy came shooting up my spine and into my head where it exploded. The first thought I had was: "Fuck, am I going to die right now?" It was pretty intense. After that I took a walk and was just completely shocked and fascinated with what happened and how I felt. All the anxiety and attachment was gone for this evening. And I could recognize the source. I could recognize where everything is coming from and who I am. I went to a buddy later that evening and it felt like he was a creature - not a human. It was crazy. The days after that experience the state completely vanished and I went back into my fucked up mode. However, my sense of self was now completely rooted in source. I could - if I wanted to - know who I truly was. It was clear. But at that time, I still thought that this cannot be it, because I still felt so damn bad. I didn't know that my body had to awaken as well to be completely rooted in it and to feel the peace and calmness of the awakening. +++ The Awakening of The Body +++ The awakening of the mind is basically realizing who you really are. Being able to recognize source. That's great, but only half of the deal. You can be able to recognize that with your ego still intact raping you like nothing changed. And you won't be able to realize what really happened because your ego is still there. The daemon is still there. Now, here is the story of how my ego integrated and how it brought me into total balance. Roughly two weeks ago, I'm laying in my bed waking up (normally). It's a regular morning in Berlin. I'm still a little bit tired and dreamy, thinking about my daily meditation. And I'm like: "Ah, I don't wanna meditate. I just wanna sleep today." I'm pretty grumpy in the mornings btw. This is not the first morning that I think that way and so I begin to think a little bit. Why do I don't want to meditate any more? This is my favourite and most intimate thing I do every day. And then I'm thinking about the last couple of weeks. How do I feel? How do I feel? I feel pretty good. Wait a minute, I felt good for a pretty long time now. Why am I not thinking about spirituality any more? I used to think about this every day 24/7? Why am I not thinking that much any more in general? I'm pretty relaxed all the time. Where are my chronic tensions in my abdomen? I haven't felt them now for ... Wait a minute. And it goes on like this. That morning I realised that I had awakened. It was the strangest thing. I wasn't able to tell for some days what really changed, I just knew that I didn't feel bad any more and that all my motivation to do my practice just disappeared. (I still did it of course - gotta be disciplined with this and not listen to your thoughts.) After some time I began to think about myself again because I wanted to know what changed. A few nights ago I skyped with my good friend @Huz and I came up with a metaphor that describes it pretty well. +++ The Metaphor: How It Feels to Wake Up +++ So, in the normal non-integrated state of egoic consciousness - wow that's a phrase that sounds pretty evil just writing it - it's like you have an invisible suit that you wear at all times. This suit has one property and one property only. It makes it hard for sensations, emotions and feelings to get out of your body. So now with having this suit on, when you have a sensation or an emotion that goes through your body it will naturally be resisted by the suit and so ping back into your system. It's like there is a resistance through that invisible suit. So that sensation or emotion will go another time through your body and by that amplify the effect it has on you. Because it cannot get out easily. It might get out after some time, depending on how strong your suit is, but it's hard for the poor little thing. Through that you tend to "attach" to what is going on with you. Even more, you begin to identify with what is going on inside yourself because the effect is so strong and always repeats because of the resistance. The same thing is happening with your thoughts. You have a thought and it cannot get out because of your suit. It gets back. Makes another round, triggers other thoughts that cannot get out that trigger even more thoughts. Through that a constant chatter of thoughts is made possible. As you start your practice you begin to unconsciously work on your suit. As you purge more and more shit its resistance gets weaker and more thoughts can go out of your system at first. Then, as this happens a lot of the repressed thoughts are now able to release themselves and your system is flooded by them. Because your suit is weaker they can get out but because of the volume of the repressed thoughts that are now set free it seems like you are regressing - although you are not. Through that process you might be able at some time to recognize who you really are because so much changes inside of yourself. That's great and that's what happened when my mind awakened - however the suit was still on - although weakened. When the body awakens what basically happens is that the suit looses its last resistance and falls off. Through that your body is now able to think and process emotions naturally without unconscious resistance of the suit. This of course implicates that you loose most of your inner tensions and that the volume of your thoughts go down, because they are not amplified any more. It also implicates that you are able to recognize who you are much easier because the strong identification with your sensations, emotions and thoughts is released and really everything that you are aware of finds a perfect balance. This also explains why I did not instantly recognize what happened to me. My meta-analysis, my pain, my tensions, my thought stories just left like a daemon that raped me and through that I just was and am in a state of peace that is not questioning itself all the time and is not trying to get away from itself. I hope this makes sense. +++ The Aftermath: What Now Then? +++ Well, I don't now, to be honest. Right now, I am pretty relaxed. I still do my normal day to day shit, I still have all my preferences, dreams and desires. I don't want to get away from myself any more and I know who I am. I am quite empty. I guess that's a phase in the beginning. I will see where it takes me. I will commit to my practice and see what comes next. I hope that I am able to find a lot of more metaphors in the future about this and I'd like to write more about it to help you guys and make me understand it on an intellectual level. One thing that is very important to understand here is the following: In all my seeking, non-seeking and whatever I did I always made up this picture in my head of "how it would be if I'm there". And that's natural in the non-integrated state of egoic consciousness - oh I love this phrase. I think that this transition took place because when I chased this picture of "how it would be" I was at the same time doing all the work that unconsciously set up all the dynamics and mechanisms to transform my whole being. It took the time that it needed and it didn't give a fuck how I felt about it. When it was time it first awakened my mind and then later awakened the body and when that happened and both came into balance it was just like the picture dissolved and I was shot from my path into a big fucking ocean in which I have to now find out how to swim. It's like I just completed this level and am now at square one again - just in a different world. Well let's find out what's going on in here, right? Because the levels never stop. That's the fun of the game, I guess. I'm thankful to all the members on this forum that I had and have great conversations with. Especially I'm thankful for @Leo Gura who introduced me to all of this and is a constant inspiration, source of education and a fucking pain in the ass to be more committed, @jjer94, @Ayla and @cetus56 who made me realize so much with their beautiful writing and lastly @Huz my great good friend from the UK with whom I have the best conversations about all of this and who is always listening and responding to my crazy voice messages. Cheers, Az P.S. Feel free to ask me whatever is on your mind about all of this. I'm happy to help and to further clarify what I stated here. I will - in the future - post a lot more about the techniques that I used, about more of the dynamics of the process, new trip reports and all the other good shit that we all love to talk about.

Hello everyone. I hope youre all having an amazing day and know that if youre reading this you are loved and adored milion times over. Thanks to a post @Shin shared earlier today including Adyashanti´s video about awakening mind, heart and gut. It reminded me about what Matt Kahn once spoke of and what @Leo Gura today shared in his video where he spoke of his consciousness descending from his head to his heart and then having the head-less perception. :-) So which one are you going to awaken? If I had to guess, this is a pointer I would use. Who do I resonate with the most? Rali, Leo´s first enlightenment videos, Rupert Spyra - awakening of the mind Matt Kahn - awakening of the heart and gut Yes Ik im sorry I have no idea who else to include into the awakening of the heart and gut. The only thing I can say is that I cannot describe on how deep of a level I resonate with Matt, and if I had to guess my awakening is happening on the level of the gut - meaning I have had for more than a year energetical purging from my gut, as if my whole ego-structure and its energy were located there. That is the place that I am rooted in and hanging onto. So once again... which one is being awakened in you? (Its not a competition hahaha dont worry. Or is it? :o) xD)

Here are some of the written notes I jotted down from the Book The Leap: The Psychology of Spiritual Awakening In the book, the author gathers notes from interviews with awakened/enlightened people around the world in order to answer the question what does it mean to be enlightened or spiritually awakened? Over the past year or so, I have noticed the characteristics of permanent wakefulness in my cognition for days at a time and then dropping off for another few days before coming back at a higher intensity. I used to think I was bipolar, but I'm glad to at least realize it was a cycle of wakefulness and sleep. But now, after taking 5-MEO, I have had a period of about 2 weeks where my wakefulness has been consistent. I can't unsee the connection to the world and I enjoy simply being -- I hang out in the park behind my apartment slacklining or just kind of sitting there. But I don't know how to come back to regular life at all. All of society looks so ass backwards and I have no clue how to integrate myself once again. I say that both worried and not worried at all. (My ego is worried that I don't worry but I don't feel connected to my ego's worry?) Language seems fucked up. It's the weirdest goddamn thing -- but its exactly what I signed up for. I took the life purpose course and I'm so glad I did because I found an awesome career path in terms of my values and vision. But now I feel like I have to go back to square one because I find that career path does not line up with being cognition very well. This is not a problem -- if anything its really good to recognize now as a 23 year old. But damn it's frustrating, and its hilarious and exciting. @Leo GuraI have never experienced so many contrasting emotions in my life -- my question is how do I handle all of these new mixtures of emotions that I've never felt? There are like 5 mixed emotions that I feel that go with any one concept I try to express and I feel like I'm either all over the place while talking or totally lying. And while I have all those new, intense, contrasting emotions, I feel this connection to a rock-hard, undisturbable part of me that cannot get upset about anything or do anything other than exist happily. Thus I feel both intense emotion and intense detachment from the emotion - which I have absolutely no clue how to express. Perhaps it's like Gay Hendrick's "Upper limit problem" on steroids... I feel like the only valid form of communication is total silence.

You'd have to see for yourself. Personally, I found that the NoFap reports are over-exaggerated: I simply became hornier and as a result ended up fucking my girlfriends more - which is cool, but it's wasn't some sort of a magic pill the way i've seen it described. Know your personal values and then see if masturbation interfere with them. My top ten personal values are Truth, Growth, Courage, 100% Responsibility, Unconditional Love/Happiness, Non-judgment, Non-Attachment, Purpose, Benevolence, and Mastery. Does masturbation get in the way of those? That's up to debate within oneself. There are 233,048 Fapstronauts according to the webpage. With any number that large, I'm sure can find some awakened person in the crowd. Also, if you think that Ralph Smart/Infinite Waters became awakened because he did a NoFap challenge, you're kidding yourself (CAN I GET A HELLOOOOO). Beyond that, since you mentioned him, I did some research and it took 3 seconds for me to find one of Smart's own videos where he specifically says that masturbation is not bad. But on the whole, many of the posts on from the NoFappers are low consciousness freakouts about how people started NoFap and then stopped. My Final point: Pick your battles wisely. No one will give a flying fuck about the fact that you went 60 days without masturbating. You won't make money nor will you help the world nor will you raise your consciousness all that much solely by NoFapping.

You awakened from the dream. Now comes the difficult part. You will feel a split within yourself. Sometimes your conditioning ego structure will be in the foreground and sometimes you will just be still. Everyday you will realise how full of shit you were yesterday and that you are probably still full of shit today. There is no turning back anymore. The best you can do is to just surrender and point the flashlight of your awareness onto everything that goes on in your life. You might want to research the dark night of the soul. Don't make any radical changes in your life too quickly. Don't drag others into your stuff too much. Don't seek the absolute too heavily and get one sided. Enlightenment doesn't have a preference for either form or the formless. About your fear of infinity. I had the same just a couple of days back. It is just your ego making a story out of it. Everything is just as it is. It is what it is and everything is exactly as it should be so thinking, oh it is me alone forever and ever is just your ego thinking it is Truth but it's not. Don't deny your negative emotions. Allow them to be just as everything else. Don't think, oh in need to release them to become enlightened. Look at them and just see what they are without a story. Go further as Jed Mckenna likes to put it. Further! But at the same time, realise that there is nowhere to go and you are it already. Just don't make the mistake of thinking you are enlightened. The you that thinks it is enlightened will never be. The you that doesn't care about enlightenment is it already. It was and will ever be it which is a stupid sentence because it is outside of time.

Entry 151 | Psychedelic Dream Report Last night, I experienced a dream like no other. Although I've never taken drugs or psychedelics in my life, it seems as though I "tripped" in my dream last night in a monumental way. The specific meaning behind this dream remains a mystery for the time being as I'm bewildered by it completely. A good 95% of the dream was humanistic and believable in many ways. It was a hot day and I was chilling in the entrance to some sort of temple or old building with members of the Indian music ensemble. Although most dreams give the illusion of appearing realistic, this one felt unparalleled in that remark. The gorgeous heat of the sun beaming down on my skin, the appearance of my musician friends, the passage of time, even my state of consciousness within the dream felt completely real. My thoughts and emotions felt identical to what they do now. As far as I was concerned, it was real life with no question about it. Much of the dream occurred in this scenario, which felt really good but perhaps not as noteworthy as what happened right at the end of the dream. Remembering that it was a hot day with no clouds in the sky, I felt a spot of rain hit my skin. And then another. The sky began to darken and as I looked up, I saw the ash clouds of a gigantic explosion and a turquoise nebula shining through. I slowly came to realise that it must have been a meteor or something similar hitting the Earth, meaning the end of the world. As I spoke words along the lines of "is the world going to end?", time began to slow down before I managed to finish the sentence. The people around me, including myself, began to fall to the ground. The sound of my voice distorted like a record being slowed down. The colour schemes transformed from normal "everyday" colours to highly saturated, intense colours. My thoughts and emotions began to revolve around fear and terror. Instead of hitting the ground, I seemed to fall through it. The entire scenario, now in bright luminescent colours, began to zoom out of perspective until nothingness remained. My thoughts and emotions became the equivalent of that of a dying person. Once wrestling with life, now just peacefully letting it go. Remember that it felt like real life to me. It genuinely felt like death had finally come. All that remained of the nothingness was just pure awareness. It remained for a few more seconds before I "woke up" in bed to discover that it was all a dream. I checked my watch and I had only been asleep for 3 hours in all of that time. The most intriguing thing about this dream for me is the maintained awareness from the dream world to the awakened world. It left a great big question in my mind that can't be shaken off: what if I'm still dreaming? What if the dream never ended? I was so certain that the dream world was reality. Just like I have been so sure all of my life that the waking world is real. Now I really don't know. One thing is for sure: that was the most beautiful experience I can remember. Pick of the day:

Consciousness is the source of all. Consciousness is the stuff existence is made of. And consciousness has always been here, is here, will be here. It can be asleep, it can be awake, but it is consciousness all the same. Matter is consciousness asleep, not yet awakened. A rock is a sleeping Buddha. Matter is totally unconscious; a Buddha is totally conscious. Man is somewhere in between. Your thoughts are things, thoughts are not conscious, we can be aware of thoughts.

@username Have you tried Leo's guided self-inquiry in his Enlightenment part 3 video? I got awakened while doing it.

Thank you for posting this. I am experiencing a kundalini awakening. It has been going on since November of last year. It has been a slow process and I can't seem to find the help I need around where I live. I felt it first in my third eye, and after that kept feeling each individual chakra every two months. I now feel the energy going through my body but not out of the crown of my head. There have been times where I feel like my head is being operated on and there are moments of bliss and love. Many emotional things are being resolved however I feel like there is so much much more to do. Once an emotion resolves, it feels like a piece of me (my ego) goes away. For me its a struggle because I have two kids and we are trying to move and make decisions but I am just going along with it. What is also confusing is I don't know if I will be awakened and enlightened or in a mental institution for the rest of my life. Does that make sense? My ego is definitely afraid. So once again, thank you for the post.

Every people that are living their passion and sharing it with the world loves you, more than you can ever imagine. Every seeker past a certain point don't seek for themselves anymore, they do it for you, anyone of them loves you. Every enlightened people who awakened on the level of heart loves you, more than themselves. Even people that are totally inconscious loves you, they are just afraid of it, ultimately they do want to love you, they just can't at their present awareness level. You love yourself more than 10 000 sexual orgasms combined, you will realize this, in the meantime, just know we all love you Everytime you feel lost or lonely, think about that. Face the loneliness or sadness instead of running from it. You might find something very important hidden in it. Something no one can teach you, not even Jesus fucking Chris.

Dont lots of awakened people report diminished libido? ed: cuz the thing with sex is that it is primarily ego-driven, symbolizing shit like power, worthiness, connection, loneliness cure.. that shits gone after awakening

Good morning and happy Saturday, everyone! What would you say to a friend who is relentlessly trying to convert you back to Christianity? I was in Protestant church for over 2 decades before I got awakened about a year and a half ago. We have had discussions about what true spirituality is, God, ego, consciousness, belief systems, etc. I know they are coming from a place of concern and care thinking one's eternal salvation is at stake without believing in Jesus. In my turn, I wish them to see through the illusion of 'self' to be truly liberated. I intend to let them read this thread, so if you'd like to contribute with your insights, please post your comments below. Thank you

One of the reasons for much of the suffering that we go through in life is taking life too seriously. It is not uncommon though; almost everyone is so serious about the drama of life. So, everyone has assumed that there is no way out of it. But, there is a potential for a change in your attitude towards life which will make you to treat life as the lifelong movie in which we all are just characters. There is also a potential to remove all the unwanted suffering that we have imposed on ourselves by removing the serious identification with the character called ‘you’ and your story.. I went through a journey myself that helped me to realize this potential and make it possible. (You can read more about my journey here: The Journey of a Seeker). I will call that whole process as ‘Awakening Through Mindfulness (ATM)’. If you believe in God, you can use the belief itself as an aid towards changing your attitude. Many people consider themselves as a puppet of the God’s hands. That helps them change the way they react to the situations and stop taking everything personal. But it is just a coping mechanism; No one is actually sitting up there and directing your life. Life and the force of the life itself is a deep and interesting mystery. If you want to call that force God, you can. That is a beautiful personification. Warning! For many people, beliefs have actually been a hindrance in the whole process. There is a way to really experience life as a movie and to be not affected by your self-image. You can completely detach yourself from the identification you have with the self image. .. Changing the attitude is the first step to ending the self created suffering and experience the life impersonally.. Your personality and your ego that projects the personality are just a part of the mask that you, as the character of this movie, are wearing. What hurts the mask doesn’t hurt you anymore, once you start experiencing life this way. Not only your ego and personality, but every thought, emotion, experience and knowledge that you witness in your consciousness is a part of that mask. Remembering this analogy of the mask and contemplating on it can help you to change your attitude to be favourable in the process of awakening. As you proceed with this journey, you will eventually have to drop a lot of your beliefs and directly choose to know what you believed is true or false. Then, either you know or you don’t know. There is no need in believing something. The sense of security that we get from beliefs will not at all be needed anymore once you start experiencing the life devoid of self-created suffering. You don’t need any solace from the beliefs anymore. That life experience which stands apart and independent from your identity is what I call as an ‘awakened life’. What you Call as Self is an Illusion! The next step is just to realize and remember always that there is no self; I am not kidding! It is a scientific fact. What you perceive, think and experience every moment is the result of millions of neurons in your brain communicating with the neighboring neurons through electrochemical signals. This constant perceptual activity gives an illusion that there is a static self. This self which is experienced as being the one who inhabits the body, being the one who is thinking the thoughts, being the one experiencing emotions, being the agent of actions and having free will is an illusion. Also, every person you see is a complex network of forces communicating with each other in cell level, chemical level and atomic level. 2500 years ago, a man called Gautama Buddha revealed the truth of the no-self for the first time. Seeing this in neuroscientific perspective, what you experience as you and your story is just a result of activity happens in a combination of brain structures called Default Mode Network DMN). This network is active when you are mind-wandering,thinking about others, thinking about yourself, remembering the past, and planning for the future. Hyperconnectivity of the default network has been linked to rumination in depression. Studies have shown that meditators and people who claim spiritual awakening have less or almost no activity in DMN. This illusory self is not consistent and static; it is ever changing. But the only thing which is consistent and constant throughout your life is your existence; the conscious, moment to moment experience that you are alive. Three Aspects of the Absolute Reality There are three aspects to what that is consistent: Existence, Consciousness and experiencing. Existence can be defined as whatever that exists in the ultimate, absolute level. You perceive and know that objects exist because of this. It is the sense of being alive.The objects may keep changing but the existence itself is something that is constant. It is not a ‘thing’ though. It is the basis of anything that is subjective. Consciousness is like a light that shines up everything in the existence. It can be compared to the light in a movie screen using which your thoughts, emotions, perceptions and experiences are constantly being played. The movie screen is static all the time. It also exists in sleep, but there is nothing to show. Since consciousness is completely dark and since voluntary functions of the mind are shut off, there is actually nothing much is happening that is worth to be recorded in the brain and stored in long term memory. Experiencing is not about various experiences that you go through every moment. It is the base of all experience, which is naturally peaceful. Peace is always the first and last experience of the lifetime. Even in death, the final moment is peace; a lot of scientists believe that a neurotransmitter called Dimethyltryptamine or DMT released in the brain during the last moment of death which gives peace and bliss. You are so peaceful during the birth too. You can obviously see that in the new born babies. Even throughout the life, you go through a lot of peaceful moments where you are ultimately content, all drives seem to be temporarily satisfied and you experience the ultimate peace and contentment. That peace is not really something that comes and goes. It is the subtle backdrop of all the noisy perceptions happening in the mind and never changes too. It is the base experience of all the experiences. An awakened person may often go through peak experiences (rare, exciting, oceanic, deeply moving, exhilarating, elevating experiences that generate an advanced form of perceiving reality, and are even mystic and magical in their effect upon the experimenter – Abraham Maslow) when they touch the ultimate level of peace. During peak experiences, the boundaries of experiencer, experiencing and the experience dissolve and they all become one. The same happens with the knowledge as well. The knower, knowing and the known become one. Note that, when I say experiencing, I am talking about the ‘experiencing’ aspect of your existence; not about an independent experience. Any experience, including the peak experience com and go. But the ‘experiencing’ part of that which is consistent never changes. It would be better to use a different word than experiencing but I can’t think of anything that comes closer right now. So, whatever that is consistent which has the aspects of existence, consciousness and experiencing can be called with any name you want to use. You can call it XYZ if you want! Some words that have been used in eastern traditions are absolute, Om, brahman, Sat-Chit-Ananda etc… Some call it as your ‘true self’. The problem with all these labels is that you start to see this XYZ as some object, a thing; Something that can be either perceived, experienced or known. But it is actually like the space or the field in which everything is perceived, experienced or known. So, it is very important to not to get too attached to the word. Seeing the illusory self for what it is and completely removing the identification with it lets you to relax yourself in the truth of being alive and conscious. It will eventually let you free from hedonic treadmill and the pursuit of subjective self worth. You will feel liberated from the prison of this illusory self. This will give you a tremendous acceptance of what is; You will see life as a game with its own rules and challenges. But seeing that as just a game which will eventually end, makes you to play it with enjoyment and a great sense of peace. Many practises have been suggested which help you to go through this process of awakening; self-inquiry, contemplation of the truth and so on. The practise that I can suggest for you is the one which worked for me.. It is called Sati in buddhism, Shikantaza in Zen, Shakshi bhav in Upanishads and mindfulness by buddhists as well as modern psychologists. Mindfulness is used not only as a path to awakening, but also in modern therapies as a means to decrease depression and stress, increase well being, control addictions, slow down emotional reactivity etc. What is Mindfulness and How to Practice it? Mindfulness can be defined as focused nonjudgmental attention to experiences of thoughts, emotions, and body sensation in the present moment that is practiced by simply observing them as they arise and pass away. The paper ‘Mindfulness: A Proposed Operational Definition’ which was published by University of Toronto in 2014 suggests a two-component model of mindfulness: 1) Regulation of attention in order to maintain it on the immediate experience 2) Approaching one’s experiences with an orientation of curiosity,openness, and acceptance, regardless of their valence and desirability. When you try to observe your thought process, you may lose your attention many times. Once you notice that the mind has wandered, you just bring it back to the awareness of thought process or body sensations again. No matter how many times the mind wanders away, you must take it easy and accept it. You can do this while doing whatever you are doing, like walking, eating, working out, waiting in a queue etc. Notice the flow of thoughts as if you are watching a stream flowing or traffic moving. Eventually you can extend the time that you practise mindfulness to most of the waking hours of the day. This may take years and years of practise. When practicing mindfulness, don’t approach it as if you are working towards a goal. That would simply mean that you are enhancing the self-concept and strengthening the identification with it .Awakening is not an achievement. It is getting rid of the craving for any achievement that increases your self-worth or enhances your self-concept. Seeing mindfulness as a means for something to be achieved itself is a trap which may slow down the process of awakening. In a couple of months of practise you may start noticing gaps in your thought process.You may also notice reduction in the number of thoughts. Also, a lot of unconscious patterns and repressed thoughts may start to come up and appear in the light of your conscious observation. It is quite normal. Just pay attention to whatever that comes up without reacting to it. But if you do react to it, that’s ok. Just notice that and wait to see what comes up next. As you do it more and more, the gaps will be more frequent and you may even start to wait for the next thought or feeling to arise. In a few months, you will start to feel more peaceful and relaxed. Your emotional regulation would also have improved. While practising, become aware of the defense mechanisms of the ego whenever you notice them. Notice the repeated thought patterns and your attempts to maintain and protect your self-esteem. Reading the authentic sources of Zen and Advaita can help you a lot in moving through the process. Personally for me, reading the transcribed talks of Osho and J.Krishnamurti were helpful in understanding how mindfulness works and how to go about practising it. Osho called it ‘witnessing’ and J.Krishnamurti called it as ‘Choiceless awareness’. The names are different but the meaning is exactly the same. Once you have practised mindfulness for long term for a year or two, you may go through a crisis at times, usually called ‘Spiritual Crisis,’ a form of identity crisis where you experience drastic changes to your meaning system (your unique purposes, goals, values, attitude and beliefs, identity, and focus). It may cause a lot of disturbance, but don’t be alarmed. It happens to everyone but it will pass. The fruits of mindfulness always outweighs the disturbances caused by spiritual crisis. Benefits of Mindfulness I came across an interesting paper ‘How Does Mindfulness Meditation Work? Proposing Mechanisms of Action From a Conceptual and Neural Perspective’ published in 2011 by Association For Psychological Science. It lists 5 major benefits of mindfulness and also lists the details of studies which support them. Here are those five benefits: Attention regulation Body awareness Emotion regulation, including a. Reappraisal b. Exposure, extinction, and reconsolidation Change in perspective on the self. The fourth one, ‘Change in perspective on the self’ is very important, which explains in detail about a lot of what we discussed about ‘Self’ in this post. You can search for this paper in ‘Academia’ and download it for free. There have been many other studies done on mindfulness which show that mindfulness decreases suffering and increases subjective well being. Buddha prescribed mindfulness as the path to spiritual enlightenment. Whether you are looking for spiritual enlightenment or just improved well being, there is no doubt that mindfulness is the way to go. Also published in my blog: https://nellaishanmugam.wordpress.com/2017/05/26/awakening-through-mindfulness-bridging-science-and-spirituality/

What is Buddhism? Buddhism is a religion to about 300 million people around the world. The word comes from 'budhi', 'to awaken'. It has its origins about 2,500 years ago when Siddhartha Gotama, known as the Buddha, was himself awakened (enlightened) at the age of 35. • Is Buddhism a Religion? To many, Buddhism goes beyond religion and is more of a philosophy or 'way of life'. It is a philosophy because philosophy 'means love of wisdom' and the Buddhist path can be summed up as: (1) to lead a moral life, (2) to be mindful and aware of thoughts and actions, and (3) to develop wisdom and understanding. • How Can Buddhism Help Me? Buddhism explains a purpose to life, it explains apparent injustice and inequality around the world, and it provides a code of practice or way of life that leads to true happiness. • Why is Buddhism Becoming Popular? Buddhism is becoming popular in western countries for a number of reasons, The first good reason is Buddhism has answers to many of the problems in modern materialistic societies. It also includes (for those who are interested) a deep understanding of the human mind (and natural therapies) which prominent psychologists around the world are now discovering to be both very advanced and effective. • Who Was the Buddha? Siddhartha Gotama was born into a royal family in Lumbini, now located in Nepal, in 563 BC. At 29, he realised that wealth and luxury did not guarantee happiness, so he explored the different teachings religions and philosophies of the day, to find the key to human happiness. After six years of study and meditation he finally found 'the middle path' and was enlightened. After enlightenment, the Buddha spent the rest of his life teaching the principles of Buddhism — called the Dhamma, or Truth — until his death at the age of 80. • Was the Buddha a God? He was not, nor did he claim to be. He was a man who taught a path to enlightenment from his own experience. • Do Buddhists Worship Idols? Buddhists sometimes pay respect to images of the Buddha, not in worship, nor to ask for favours. A statue of the Buddha with hands rested gently in its lap and a compassionate smile reminds us to strive to develop peace and love within ourselves. Bowing to the statue is an expression of gratitude for the teaching. • Why are so Many Buddhist Countries Poor? One of the Buddhist teachings is that wealth does not guarantee happiness and also wealth is impermanent. The people of every country suffer whether rich or poor, but those who understand Buddhist teachings can find true happiness. • Are There Different Types of Buddhism? There are many different types of Buddhism, because the emphasis changes from country to country due to customs and culture. What does not vary is the essence of the teaching — the Dhamma or truth. • Are Other Religions Wrong? Buddhism is also a belief system which is tolerant of all other beliefs or religions. Buddhism agrees with the moral teachings of other religions but Buddhism goes further by providing a long term purpose within our existence, through wisdom and true understanding. Real Buddhism is very tolerant and not concerned with labels like 'Christian', 'Moslem', 'Hindu' or 'Buddhist'; that is why there have never been any wars fought in the name of Buddhism. That is why Buddhists do not preach and try to convert, only explain if an explanation is sought. • Is Buddhism Scientific? Science is knowledge which can be made into a system, which depends upon seeing and testing facts and stating general natural laws. The core of Buddhism fit into this definition, because the Four Noble truths (see below) can be tested and proven by anyone in fact the Buddha himself asked his followers to test the teaching rather than accept his word as true. Buddhism depends more on understanding than faith. • What did the Buddha Teach? The Buddha taught many things, but the basic concepts in Buddhism can be summed up by the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. • What is the First Noble Truth? The first truth is that life is suffering i.e., life includes pain, getting old, disease, and ultimately death. We also endure psychological suffering like loneliness frustration, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger. This is an irrefutable fact that cannot be denied. It is realistic rather than pessimistic because pessimism is expecting things to be bad. lnstead, Buddhism explains how suffering can be avoided and how we can be truly happy. • What is the Second Noble Truth? The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. We will suffer if we expect other people to conform to our expectation, if we want others to like us, if we do not get something we want,etc. In other words, getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness. A lifetime of wanting and craving and especially the craving to continue to exist, creates a powerful energy which causes the individual to be born. So craving leads to physical suffering because it causes us to be reborn. • What is the Third Noble Truth? The third truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained; that true happiness and contentment are possible. lf we give up useless craving and learn to live each day at a time (not dwelling in the past or the imagined future) then we can become happy and free. We then have more time and energy to help others. This is Nirvana.

... Because we are lazy ... After awakened from the dream of thoughts, the only reason why we still seek is either because: We don't do self-inquiry enough (30 minutes a day is not too much to ask). We don't "practice" presence/awareness enough (it has to become a second nature) We let our mind wander too much (bad diet, bad sleep schedule, no/volatile meditation habit) We let ourselves be too inconscious instead of having an iron will to discover the truth (relationships drama, too much video games/shows/tv) If we've really awakened, our thoughts doesn't matter anymore We know it can't be an experience/state of mind, and we clearly see through the illusion of what is called "future". If we remove all this shit, it comes FAST. FAST like months or even weeks ... It's all up to us There is no traps except our own lazyness at this point.

@Leo Gura What you say makes perfect sense from an awakened minds perspective. From an awakened hearts perspective it does not. I have a hard time seeing how gassing jews and raping little children is based on love and kindness. Maybe there is more to the picture than that absolute perspective of yours?

@username Ah, that's interesting. Of course just capitalizing the word still fails to address a distinction that rarely ever gets made. The thing that people often refer to "nothingness", small "n", isn't an absence of anything, it's the presence of all things undivided, it's the all of everything in unity manifest without any delineation in the state of it that exists before any separation takes place in existence. The "Nothingness" with the big "N" is another distinction that can be made but it's the type of understanding that comes from experience in awakened awareness of a personal revelation. Without it there is no way to describe the understanding to another person, it's actually possible to conceive of but it likely is impossible to communicate.

Jim has had tough times in his life - failures, depression, divorce, deaths of loved ones, etc. Intense suffering is known to either make you self-distruct or to trigger awakening. I read somewhere Eckhart Tolle's teachings played a big role (pun not intended). Glad Jim was able to transcend all the nonsence of money and Hollywood fame. Richard Gere is another awakened Hollywood celebrity, his path is through the Buddhist tradition, though.

Does that awakened person have a name?

Or you could just shine the light of awareness on what would make you want to tell your boss to f*off (hint - the ego). So, you'd rest in that recognition and say nothing not out of fear to be fired, but because you wouldn't want to further feed the ego by saying those words. If Jesus was an awakened and highly conscious being, he would have most likely understood the remifications of his teachings. When he said, for example, that God and him are one, he was teaching from a non-dualistic point of view - everyone and everything is one with God, because the Relative and the Absolute are one. However, the religious leaders took it from dualistic point of view, which such claim sounded like heresy according to their law. Thus Jesus was accused of blesphemy and crucified. He knew the law, yet he continued to speak and teach, very much knowingly.

I witnessed an amazing satsang today, which for me had a much greater effect than ever watching them online, because you see the living example in front of you, which is giving you more trust and willingness to follow the instructions diligently. Summarized: -You are NOT suppose to be okay with your suffering, it's natural to not want it, it's real intelligence to see your life is not working, don't judge it, use your frustration. - So seek as hard as you can (he said this in the context of showing you you cannot be found in your objects of perception, because what ever you focus on or feel, the feeling is not feeling itself, YOU are feeling it, YOU are feeling your body parts/sensations through your shining your attention on them). - Spirituality and advaita are often a big trap for the ego (this was eye opening and new for me, despite having seen a lot of satsangs): People often use the knowledge of the absolute (I am not the body, nor my thoughts, emotions etc.) and hang out in the 'blissful consciousness' to escape! And meanwhile not reach liberation. 'My buttons are getting pushed? Nah, that's not me, let me distance myself from it, I am the observer.' 'let me become just the observer of it', big trap! That's solidifying the split mind, putting you farther away and creating a subtle spiritual ego. No, see it and feel it all! (Probably bit by bit, practice this, you can see it will simply open up and that contrary to the feeling it's not scary at all to allow it! These are your gifts). You will get better at this and situations that normally bother you because you are triggered will now become more easeful opportunities, allowing you to live more freely already. Also observe how with the feeling there often is a belief attached to feeling: 'I am not suppose to be angry' 'I am not suppose to cry', stay attentive to these beliefs when feeling your feelings and don't look through them anymore. Becoming awake is about with becoming true to yourself, become very very intimate with yourself, and when you can be really open to yourself, that way life can actually open up to you. - Ego and even identification with it are not bad, they are great gifts! Just partial identification, of not knowing who you also and really are, is creating the nightmare. You solve it by going a step further than it, not by suppressing them. - You can't awaken yourself. It will happen by it's own accord, you just do your best opening up, becoming as honest and open as you can, and when you are ready, the ego will seen through once and for all and you will be in a different world. Awoken, free, no more 'losing it'. I like how he kept using the word gift, humorously at the end he mentioned someone saying to him: 'I didn't chose this life..' No. It's a gift. It's a dutch teacher, he had been searching seriously from when he was 14, he's like 64 now, Ad Oostendorp is his name, but yeah, Dutch. Great guy though.

It proves that she is awakened.

Don't assume anything about the states of higher consciousness, you can't know about them by reading or viewing videos, unless you experience , you can't know. When you are awakened, your memories are not lost but you don't identify yourself with them , you remain witness to them, you don't judge them. Then memories don't disturb you. If past memories can disturb your serenity then you are not awakened. Don't think that only you have suffered in the past and your miseries are greater. My childhood was very horrible , my elder brother committed suicide but I managed to survive. Now my past can't make me miserable.

@Prabhaker Awakened or not, memories of trauma remain in the central nervous system, even after awakenings. @Seeker_of_truth Her concepts are fine. She does sound logical. I don't know much about what she has plagiarized, personally. You guys are very gullible.