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@turkeysub3000 , I do have a Psychology degree, I also worked (in real life as opposed to hotline) with suicidal people AND I have a close member of my own family that committed suicide. I have probably been as angry as you are right now until it completely exhausted me. It is from that place that I finally understood that my anger was all that was keeping me from being happy and helping other people from a place of love and acceptance. Start with yourself. Make yourself what you want to see around you.

Because he is a persona whose apparent intention is to help other people. He wants comments and constructive criticism for the sake of helping to improve his approach in helping others. Maybe his calling people a dick and a loser wasn't out of malintent, but that doesn't somehow absolve him of responsibility. Those are inflammatory, ad hominem statements that do not reflect someone who is loving and cares about the person on the other end of the video. I work on a suicide and crisis hotline and I can tell you that you will NEVER get a person to calm their anger by calling them names. You empathize, you put yourself in THEIR shoes, you feel the feelings with them, and you use your vocal tones to calm them back into a state of allowing. If they can't get there and they are getting angry with you, you tell them you don't appreciate being treated like that and you tell them to call back and you hang up.

To copy paste myself from that other thread about unconditional love: (PS. If anyone is curious I can go in to some detail about what Adam and Eve actually represent and their story) "Like and Love is not the same and Love is not what people think it is. Love is Truth and it pretty much have to be unconditional for it to be real, it can only be experienced when you move passed the ego and open up to the full infinity of who you are Now is someone is just straight out "evil" or whatever you'll see the condition they're in and you still love them but unconditional love does not mean (at all) unconditional fluff, anything but in fact. "If you love something set it free" right? you'll want to help in whatever way you can to break down their ego regardless of what people around you think of you for it. If you love your body you will take care of it, exercise (to break the body down), feed it well and rest it (to build it back up even stronger but also healthier), it is the same when you love everyone else, you don't want to go easy on them if you know it ain't gonna do them well in the end, beating someone down can actually be the same as stopping someone from committing suicide as you bring them closer to their true self and real life. A relationship in this case would be something you have with someone you fit well together etc but what you really 'love' above all else is the spirit itself (which in a way is everything lol) and this person that you spend so much time with you would't love any more than anyone else (or it'd be conditional love) but you love yourself enough to be with the one who make you the most happy and fulfilled."

Name: Martin Age: 19 Gender: Male Location: Sweden Occupation: School Marital Status: Single Kids: No Hobbies: enlightenment, meditation, skateboarding, skiing, trailrunning, nature, reading, eating healthy I got into personal development after I had a hard time in school, I'm bisexual and I have always denied it and when i realized I juts had to tell someone I got depressed, started smoking, drinking, got fat. My "friends" started to leave me out when I told them and eventually I tried to commit suicide. One day i found Leos videos on depression, I started to clean up my shit and have not been looking back ever since. Personal challenges I've overcome: -Suicidal dispair -Depression -Shyness -Low self-esteem -Bad confidence -Cleaned up my diet, became a vegan aswell and I really enjoy it -Stopped smoking, drinking, eating unhealthy food, eating candy, playing videogames -Got into shape again by skiing and running -girls What I'm working on now: -enlightenment -meditation -school -preparing to become a Zen monk for a year or two after I finnish school -self-expression and honesty (I am a dirty little liar) -girls -realized I am a Highly Sensitive Person and adapting to this by trying to be a little more like a monk

Like and Love is not the same and Love is not what people think it is. Love is Truth and it pretty much have to be unconditional for it to be real, it can only be experienced when you move passed the ego and open up to the full infinity of who you are Now is someone is just straight out "evil" or whatever you'll see the condition they're in and you still love them but unconditional love does not mean (at all) unconditional fluff, anything but in fact. "If you love something set it free" right? you'll want to help in whatever way you can to break down their ego regardless of what people around you think of you for it. If you love your body you will take care of it, exercise (to break the body down), feed it well and rest it (to build it back up even stronger but also healthier), it is the same when you love everyone else, you don't want to go easy on them if you know it ain't gonna do them well in the end, beating someone down can actually be the same as stopping someone from committing suicide as you bring them closer to their true self and real life. A relationship in this case would be something you have with someone you fit well together etc but what you really 'love' above all else is the spirit itself (which in a way is everything lol) and this person that you spend so much time with you would't love any more than anyone else (or it'd be conditional love) but you love yourself enough to be with the one who make you the most happy and fulfilled. This is mostly actually bullshit because when you're in a relationship it's so easy to get stuck in their ego instead and especially if you spend time with only one person. It'd be very difficult to break free from that but only secluded meditation and no social interaction may or may not be the best idea either. How you act around other people is probably indeed the real test but you can get very angry very easily without the ego in this world lol (or at least seam like it but you'd never get sucked in to it, it'd always just be a tool at your disposal), like I said earlier, you might need to break shit down before building it back up again

Not being able to kill my self if I would so choose I recently finished up reading Seneca and he pointed out that as long as you are able to commit suicide you don't have to worry about being a bad person thus living a bad life ( the essence of stoicism), you also shouldn't fear death because that is what everyone will get someday anyway. Sure I have all the "normal" fears, not living up my potential, life-long injury, not seeing the world etc. but those are all rather meaningless as in you are going to die in any case. I do fear those bigger than life bees though (hornets or something), seriously fuck those.... they're huge.

Even though I have surrendered, I find the ego a necessity to interact, with the benefit of not being emotionally attached to my interactions. I sometimes feel a tug toward a more ascetic lifestyle and being more withdrawn. As a friend said, ' letting go sounds an awful lot like suicide, if you're no-thing why would you bother to eat or do anything,'. I found that the breaking point myself, yes you could just let go completely and stop being, but there's too much adventure, learning and life to appreciate. So slip back into the ego and observe the adventure as it unfolds.

I will tell you about some of my past experiences that radicly changed my life but only for a month or two each. When i was 14-15 (23 now) i discovered a book called the way of the peaceful warrior by Dan Millman after i watched the movie and it was great so later i bought a book called wisdom of the peaceful warrior and it blew my mind at the time, It was like a map for life. Anyway i found the core of the teaching in two sentences: '' here and now i accept my thoughts and emotions instead of fighting to change them and i act responsibly, constructively and kindly either I FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT''. This was my mantra and i kept repeating it in my head every second, more so when i went to sleep. It was like hell at first confronting my thoughts and emotions and fighting inertia. I don't know why i stopped but i remember that in that month i have done more things than in a year. I think it's also important to know when to rest and have some time for fun to prevent this mantra make you a workaholic (better than lazy but still bad imo). When i was 18 it was a very difficult period of my life because of my family's financial problems and a lot of other stuff. At that time i discovered Eckhart Tolle and i read the Power Of Now and A New Earth. These books shattered my ego to pieces really. I still remember that moment at my balcony that i realized that all i have to do is to stay in that moment and not drift away. It was like commiting suicide inside my head. The world changed everything changed i knew what everybody felt or even thinking at some times, people were fighting and in my presense they were calming down, music was stupid at most cases i felt energy bursting inside me and it was like nothing could touch me or bother me. I believe that everyone that is a little crazy to try and kill his ego and read both of these books can reach that state. Eckhart Tolle tells you exactly how to do it. I did it while i was trying to be aware of the ''space'' inside everything. For example between breaths there is a space as you become aware of it the longer it becomes. I don't know if that was enlightment but it was pretty close i think. Well that was a radical change. It's not that i changed my habits i was still smoking for example but it changed my whole worldview so i suppose it counts. The think is that after two months or so i got stoned. The experience was great at first but then i lost control. The next three years i was ''high'' almost everyday. One of two things happened, either i lost that "egoless" feeling that i had and tried to relive it with weed or i felt something like "what's the point? Everything is a joke anyway". In these 3-4 years i managed to find the love of my life, ruin my life and lose her, get fckd by society etc. So another radical way to change your life while lowering your awereness: abuse weed every day! (after a 2 year break i smoke once per month and it's ok) I was always passionate about fitness. When i was 12 all of a sudden i had this urge to become ripped. Without reading anything about habits i chose an exercise (something really difficult) and i did it every day for 30 days (it was above painful). After 30 days everytime i was adding a new exersice. Anyway after something less than a year i was a monster for a 13 year old and i kept exercising until some years ago What i'm trying to say is that i wanted something badly enough to exercise very hard every day, i had a vision and i realized it by having habits and do them everyday no matter how difficult it was and how many excuses i had. From that i learned how important patience is. After 8 months or so i stopped those exercises but the habit remained. I was exercising almost every day until i was 20 (i still do but not really). So this was the method that was most successful. Slow and steady. I tried to change many habits the last years but i didn't put the effort, i wanted immediate results but that rarely works. Many times i'm thinking what would happen if i changed only one habit every two months the last 5 years.. I would be superhuman by now. So to recap, from my experience: you can change your life right now by repeating that phrase i told you every moment until it get easier but that takes some balls and it is difficulty: ultimate. You can try to do some spiritual work but that doesn't necessarily mean that will make you successful in the real world (because we all need an ego in this world). Drugs are bad. The best way to change your life is one habit at a time slow and steady because the habits add up over time. I know that i got carried away but this was the best answer i could give, good luck!

Hello @Phocus I do appreciate that you are looking out for people's health. Genuinely. I can understand that, from your perspective, and from the outdated science you're invested in, that it may appear as if the dangers you're describing are accurate. I do understand that it may seem as it would be "cause of death: suicide by food", if the old narrative was to be true. I would probably have thought the same as you, before I acknowledged all the new data that's in. We might probably disagree a lot. We have different perspectives, certain dogma, certain preferences, perhaps different body types.. (idk bout that last one though ) So, even if it may be easy for both of us to become frustrated, I don't really have an interest in conflicting. Not saying you can't call me out for being outrageous or smth like that, I will do the same for you But what I would like, is that in the end, if we can't yet find mutual understanding, that we can at least agree to disagree. That the phocus should be on arguments and not on the person. It is more powerful to construct friends of people then enemies And when other members read the conversation, it's good demonstration to show that engagement can be without motivation from a personal emotional crusade, that it instead is one that is held in respect to sober discussion. Not saying you weren't interested in that from the beginning, it's just reflecting my thoughts. So, let us begin. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... FIGHT jk (= "JAMA. 1981 Aug 7;246(6):640-4. Effect of ingestion of meat on plasma cholesterol of vegetarians. Sacks FM, Donner A, Castelli WP, Gronemeyer J, Pletka P, Margolius HS, Landsberg L, Kass EH. Abstract In a controlled trial, 21 strict vegetarians were studied prospectively for eight weeks: a two-week control period of the usual vegetarian diet was followed by four weeks, during which 250 g of beef was added isocalorically to the daily vegetarian diet and then by two weeks of the control diet. Plasma high-density lipoprotein-cholesterol did not change during the study, whereas plasma total cholesterol rose significantly by 19% at the end of the meat-eating period. Systolic blood pressure (BP) increased significantly during the meat eating by 3% over control values, whereas diastolic BP showed no major changes. Plasma renin activity, prostaglandin A and E levels, and urinary kallikrein, norepinephrine, and epinephrine excretions were within normal limits and did not change notably throughout the trial. The study suggests an adverse effect of consumption of beef on plasma lipid and BP levels." Impressive. A study done 1981, with a whole of 21 test subjects! With a time period of two months, and no follow up. Really need to say more? I'm usually way too retarded to interpret studies, but this one screams uncertainty. According to people who are more educated as to be able to correctly internalize scientific data however, I think science has come a long way since the eighties. The suggested correlation in the study turned out to be inaccurate. If you'd like to see some of the research that this is based on, have a look at the results that science is concerned with now, in the timeline that we're currently living in. While it is indeed correct that unmanaged levels of LDL cholesterol can be unhealthy, it is necessary to keep a balanced amount of LDL cholesterol in your system - you do need LDL too. I feel decently informed on the very superficial level regarding cholesterol, if you'd like to you can check out my current understanding of this matter: Link to my comment about cholesterol In short, HDL cholesterol, so called good one, is increased by natural saturated fats, such a eggs or butter. In short, LDL cholesterol, so called bad one, is increased by a diet of carbohydrates. This is especially true for the refined one: sugar. But also the other slower carbohydrates: potatoes, pasta, bread, rice. Did you know that these actually become slowly processed to sugar in your body? http://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/science I suggest revising your perspectives as so they are in accord with the latest reviews in science. --------------- Damn, I was going to ask you virtually the same thing. How is it even possible that you could come to the conclusion that we are designed to eat a diet that is so new to our body, it is comparable to the last day of an entire year? We have NEVER eaten this much carbohydrates. The age of our species is the first point, the age of agriculture in second: 3 200 000 years ......10 000 years What we are, what the human body evolved as, is hunter-gatherers. Also, the fruits you see today in stores are Nothing like they were back in the day. Again, consider updating your knowledge. I don't recommend relying on outdated science. The China Study, released 2005, has been debunked long time ago. It's bad enough that the study was based on observational data, which cannot prove causation, however, it is even worse: The numbers are cherrypicked. Example: We do see eye to eye regarding sugar. I think most camps, despite faction, agree on this. Sugar is fucking terrible for human health. I think that might be one reason as to why many people are experiencing positive results from changing from the worst diet, the standard western diet, to a less bad diet, the vegan diet. The direct sugar intake is mostly cut out in vegan diet, correct? However, as I said before, carbohydrates becomes sugar in your body. So, it's good that one is not consuming the poison in its direct form, which is the worst, however one is still being filled with sugar in a slower way as carbohydrates are consumed. Who'd figured. Now I'm not following you. Are you talking about the website www.dietdoctor.com? If so, then you don't have to speculate anything, just check your eyesight for failing vision. They clearly state how they are financed: by paying members. This is one of the first things you see when you go to the main page on the website. More outdated science. Neverending. A joke about flat earth is in place. Incorrect. This is a retarded oversimplification. As we both know, there are different types of cholesterol. Not only fucking one. ------------------------- I've read that you can play a funny game with people who insist that cholesterol is dangerous to eat. The game is to simply ask for a single study that shows this. so can i haz study 4 dis pls ------------------------------ Wow, okay, so you survived the wall of text. Glad you made it out alive. I'd like to close with the statement that while it may be tough to do this as a vegan, it's actually perfectly possible to eat LCHF as a vegetarian.

I don't know if somebody here experienced something outside of meditation. But 2 weeks back I had a weird experience. My roommate's financial and status life is improving while my is going pretty slow. So one time some of his friends gifted him a lot of stuff because he was moving out of the country. So I got really envious , like couldn't even have an eye contact with him at that moment. That day i couldn't just go to sleep because inside i felt like life is so unfair and I was thinking about stuff like - if I know there is god, I would just commit a suicide and go beat the shit out of that asshole piece of shit. And after 3 days, I was talking with my roommate and he really likes to talk about how good his life is, sometimes I swear to God he is just trying to drill into my eyes how big he is, so I felt small...but then I noticed that envious feeling in me....it was there, but it was like 10 times weaker and it just didn't hurt anymore. After that envious night i noticed that there is much more peace inside me. I was wondering maybe someone have similar experience...and has something to say. It would be very interesting to hear. Last days I even have some masochism inside me for some mental trauma...because I know those strong emotional experiences have some power. P.S...Sorry for my English, there must be a lot of mistakes in post. And I know that I m ego that doesn't exist, that is fiction.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, and for inspiring writtings. I can't wait for that ^^ I'll be definitely following this journal. I've heard of someone who made the Ayahuasca, and have the capaticty to go into someone else "mind" or spirit (psychological) and unlock things, from negative past experiences. It's a friend of mine in which I trust who told me this story, I got the phone number of this "healer" but I never had the courage to call, to ask him some questions, such like "How to do that ????" I have fantasmed on time travel through power of conscioussness, but scientists says that it is finally impossible (note : I consider sciences like another opinion). It remains me the story of Ettore Majorana who studied time his whole life though mathematics/physics, and disapeared on a specific date, a date that he chosen years before (people think of a planned suicide). I also watched videos on youtube of people who have received (often not by choice) the capacity to hear deaths voices and help people communicate with them (I'm aware that youtube is full of fakes, but I saw videos in my native language which seems really convincing and felt "real"). So it seems to be there is conscioussness of death bodies floating somewhere (in a "bardo" as buddhists says), which I think is kinda cool, plus there is something like "angels" or guides. I rode "the war of art" by steven pressfield (a book advised by Leo), the author talk about a divine consciousness, or a "muse" that feeds our imagination, when it comes to create something for the good of humanity (a piece of art as exemple in the book, like the 7th symphony existed before Bethoven, but he was just the right guy to "hear" it). I don't know if it's true or not, but in the end it doesn't matter, I find it inspiring and it helps. That all I have to say, a lot of questions, but I can't figure out until I manage to meditate more seriously.

Of course. But from the ego's point of view, it's mere disappearance. A kind of suicide.

My brother sent me this over text . Interesting ideas... "Implications of Cathar Beliefs" The idea that human beings were sparks of light trapped in tunics of material flesh had a number of logical consequences: Procreative sex was bad, since conception would result in another soul being trapped. For this reason, normal sex between man and wife was as bad as any other procreative sex. Marriage was worthless, while contraception was regarded with approval. Also, there was no reason to condemn any form of non-procreative sex. The less one had to do with evil (ie material) things, the better. Eating animals, or animal products, was particularly abhorred, though fish were allowed (as they were thought to reproduce asexually and were not therefore able to imprison a soul). The sooner we can shed this tunic of flesh, the sooner our souls could be free to fly like a spark of light back to heaven, the realm of the good God. There was therefore no reason to discourage suicide. There was not any reason to regard men as better than women. The important part, the soul, was the same. Only the vile material body was different. Since material objects were creations of the Bad God, it was absurd to imagine that they could be of any virtue. So, for example, jewels, money, relics, the Eucharist, reproductions of the cross, and church buildings were of no value whatsoever. Similarly the Catholic teaching about resurrection of the body was absurd. The very idea of a physical body in heaven was ridiculous. Further, it was not plausible that the Good God would send anyone from his realm into the evil material world of the Bad God. Jesus must therefore have been a sort of phantom, looking like a man but in fact immaterial. Anyone who attached great value to material things was at best mistaken and at worst a disciple of the Bad God. It was no secret that the Pope was the richest man in Europe. Cardinals, bishops and priests lived in great luxury and dressed in gorgeous robes. Worse, the Roman Church encouraged the worship of material objects such as the relics of saints. And worse yet it venerated the cross - not only a material object but also an instrument of torture. There was no escaping the logical conclusion. Roman Catholics were worshipping the wrong God - the God of Evil who had created this world. The behaviour of devout Catholics seemed to confirm this conclusion. Carthars referred to the Roman Church as the Church of Wolves.

By truth, I meant all realities. There are enlightened people and normal people. Bodies, thoughts, feelings and senses are still there in present moment. But for enlightened people, they know them with awareness (therefore no consequences because every after one thought or sense, awareness cut the further thought generations) but others not. By middle path, I meant one doesn't have go wild (ex: suicide) because body, mind, & senses are illusion. Also one doesn't have to be too sensitive about what one knows. Hard to explain because if I put the wrong word, you'll be misunderstood.

THIS POST IS HIGHLY GRAPHIC AND USES SEXUAL REFERENCES TO GET THE POINT ACROSS. I would like to try and use contemplation and self-inquiry to see why a person would want to hook up on the first date/give head/jerk off etc... For example (and this can work for a either guy/girl/trans etc... but I will be mainly using guy/girl because it's just easier formatting wise): Example 1 Guy and Girl are done with the date. They are both in the car together. Guy: I had so much fun tonight! Thanks for letting me take you out on a date. Girl: Of course, thank you for taking me. I had a great time at dinner. Guy: You are totally welcome. Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. Pause. Guy: You know I love getting head and I think you are really cute as well. May I ask you, besides me being cute and all, why you want to give me head? Girl: I'm looking to have more sexual experiences and I'm not really looking for anything serious at the moment. I just want to have fun and be more open with my sexuality. Guy: You know, I just got out of a serious relationship and I'm actually on the same page as you! I too am looking to have more sexual experiences and have fun. Girl: Great, well come on over and we can talk more and have some fun. End. Example 2 Guy and Girl are done with the date. They are both in the car together. Guy: I had so much fun tonight! Thanks for letting me take you out on a date. Girl: Of course, thank you for taking me. I had a great time at dinner. Guy: You are totally welcome. Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. Pause. Guy: You know I love getting head and I think you are really cute as well. May I ask you, besides me being cute and all, why you want to give me head? Girl: Well to be completely open and honest, I've been extremely depressed the past few months and I've been having a lot of family trouble, my sister just committed suicide and my dad past away last year and it's just been to much. I want to use your cock to get over it. Guy: I am so sorry to hear that all of that has happened to you and I can relate as my brother also committed suicide and my dad also past away last year. I'm actually trying to improve myself but I don't want to use sex or sexual activities to cover up my pain. I'm sorry but I don't want for you to give me a blowjob because you are trying to get over your personal problems. It just doesn't feel right to me. Girl: I understand and thank you for your honesty. Would you like to meet again for drink or dinner so we can get to know each other better? Guy: Of course! End. So please notice that the roles can be reversed with the guy having the issues and the girl saying no. In Example 1 there was honest and clear communication between both parties of what they wanted to do. The terms were talked about and action was implemented. In Example 2 I switched both people's lives by introducing some sort of great external pain that each person was having. This in turn, proposed sexual activity not because the girl wanted to explore and have fun but to cover up the pain and harm of this "external conflict". If you've done a lot of personal development work you will know that approaching sex or sexual activities from this perspective is damaging and often leaves both parties confused, misunderstood, and hurt. Further more, I wish individuals talked like this more often with each other as it lays out goals, wants, needs, and problems. The parties involved can't help but come up with a solution. I try and practice this every chance I get as it makes me more open and aware of my motivations, my purpose, and my wants and needs and it also lets the other person know what I want and where I stand. This is why contemplation and self inquiry is so powerful when you do this with yourself and others. Your beliefs, assumptions, and conclusions about you and the world fall away and it becomes about you (in a non-ego way) and your experiences leaving every possibility open, including being honest about what you want and how you want it. -------------------------------- Shaved and Grooming Examples: Example 1 Guy and Girl are done with the date. They are both in the car together. Guy: I had so much fun tonight! Thanks for letting me take you out on a date. Girl: Of course, thank you for taking me. I had a great time at dinner. Guy: You are totally welcome. Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I'm just looking to have fun, nothing serious. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. But I only like fully shaved cock's. I don't like hairy cock's. Guy: You know I feel the same way! Not about the cock's of course, about you! You are so cute and fun and I would love for you to give me a blowjob. Girl: Great! Well come on up! Guy: I would love to but I don't like shaving down there. I like my hair down there and I don't want to change for anyone. Girl: I see. Well since we are both on the same page about us just having fun and not anything serious then we can end it here. Guy: I agree. I just think we are on different paths in life and I can't seem to comprise with you. It was amazing meeting you though. I had such a great time. Girl: Me too! Wish you all the best. End. Example 2 Guy and Girl are done with the date. They are both in the car together. Guy: I had so much fun tonight! Thanks for letting me take you out on a date. Girl: Of course, thank you for taking me. I had a great time at dinner. Guy: You are totally welcome. Girl: You know... I think you are totally cute and fun. I'm just looking to have fun, nothing serious. I would love to give you a blowjob in my apartment if you are up for it? No pun intended of course. But I only like fully shaved cock's. I don't like hairy cock's. Guy: I feel the exact same way! I too am just looking to have fun. And I have a fully shaved cock! What perfect timing! Girl: Come on up! End. In Example 1 we showed that people have different preferences when it comes to what they like. If you don't like something, even if it's grooming habits you have a right to say "sorry! this isn't going to work out because of "x". And take note, the guy and girl are on different paths because of one's liking for a hairy penis vs. not a hairy penis. In Example 2 we showed that these individuals are in fact on the same page with each other. Even if the guys cock is hairy he would still shave it because he likes doing it and he has found someone that like that grooming habit of his. We so often try to change other people or try and "fix" them but know that this is just a reflection of your own insecurities and problems that you have and are projecting on other people. Further more, I believe the term "slut" is just a term we made up because we are afraid of open and honest communication with each other. It's just a belief though so don't take it to seriously. All these examples are way to show how enlightenment and the practice of mediation can be used to be open and honest with what we want and our needs for ourselves. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

Name: Jevin Singh Randhawa Age: 18 Gender: Male Location: Surrey,Canada Occupation: Student Marital Status: Single Kids: No Hobbies: Weightlifting,Meditation,Self Development,Mathematics,Physics,Coding,Philosophy, Combat Sports,Walking my Dogs The summer of 2014 is really when things went awry, Anxiety and Depression arising. Moving in 2015, severe depression going into Psychosis (Had lost my mind), getting on NoFap is truly what transformed me, as on the brink of suicide I stubbornly resisted giving up on becoming an Engineer, soon hospitalized as I had to deal with a new challenge of being a pedophile/rapist (P-OCD). So I made a plan to go to a close university compound that was situated in just smash a building with a baseball bat and just jump out, with the help of my doctor, we (Mostly she), Have pushed through. As NoFap was what somehow gave me such strength, I can remember sitting in the waiting room for my psychosis doctor as my Therapist cheerly said "Hello Jevin!! :D" (Due to NoFap's sexual aura or whatever) I went into the bathroom and jerked it as I knew I was on the last line, and the rest was history. Did not really get into self-development until I began watching Elliot Hulse (He was like the father I never had, without any due disrespect to my father) obsessively, as for several months he took me under his wing as my mentor watching his Youtube Videos. Now realize that I have some sort of mission as Twain remarks “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Personal challenges I've overcome: Fearless + Confident Eviscerating a variety of mental ilnesses : Anxiety, Severe Depression, Psychosis, POCD (And not raping woman, or my nephews [Trust me I'd shoot myself before that happened]) Ruthless Self-Discipline, ability to instill habits Ease of Socializing, putting on a mask to take on many roles What I'm working on now: Finding Life Purpose, Die in the History Books, Becoming World Class (Or die in the pursuit of [This really is my biggest focus in life]) Financial Independence Becoming a Natural with Woman Spiritual Enlightenment ( And eventually releasing the kundalini serpent) 180lbs at 9% Body Fat Giving back to those in need, and making massive social impact, possibly fixing world issues Reaching the absolute pinnacle of self-actualizing Discover the secrets of the world Go through physical,mental and spiritual torture to become the strongest version of myself and save the world (Turquoise Stage)

My answers are in bold @TruthSeeker I was in a mental hospital for some time due to some panic attacks and other some psychotic episode. I meet people there that made me change my opinion about a guy who murder, rape or did some other bad thing, I really now think that they are not guilty really. hehehe... Same thing about people who commit suicide. One of the guys I met, he told me, he had problems with violence. When something happened inside of him, he got so angry he couldn't stop and he could kill someone when that happened. That's not his will to do it, there's something on the environment, on the way they were educated, etc that makes them act that way. You say something about that. I used to think like you before, that everything that they say (I heard it mostly from psychologists and psychiatric doctors) that a rapist or murdered is not really guilty and I though "bullshit", he must go to jail. Basically I've repeated this many times but Ill say it again. Every person's freewill is limited to certain cases...it could be that this guy who got so angry didn't have free will to do CERTAIN things but there for sure were things that he could have chosen to do or not to do. Each person is different each person has a certain POINT that they are struggling with..anything above that point is out of their free will and anything below that point is also out of their free will...only the things that lie within that point are in their free will. Believe me that this is not about wanting not to take responsibility and wanting to do bad things so we are not guilty. Nothing farther from the truth. But think about this, when someones commits a murder, he goes to jail and if he makes crazy things they send him to solitary confinement. It is proved that people in isolation go crazier, we as human beings need interaction with other to be sane mentally. Now I think that people need to be treated, in jail they get worse. I'm not trying to convince you about free will, just my point of view. I am always open to any new idea so, maybe I can be wrong. Its wrong because its black and white thinking. There is free will or there isnt. Its not black and white...there are certain decisions that are within our free will ND CERTAIN THINGS that are out of our free will.

@TruthSeeker I was in a mental hospital for some time due to some panic attacks and other some psychotic episode. I meet people there that made me change my opinion about a guy who murder, rape or did some other bad thing, I really now think that they are not guilty really. hehehe... Same thing about people who commit suicide. One of the guys I met, he told me, he had problems with violence. When something happened inside of him, he got so angry he couldn't stop and he could kill someone when that happened. That's not his will to do it, there's something on the environment, on the way they were educated, etc that makes them act that way. You say something about that. I used to think like you before, that everything that they say (I heard it mostly from psychologists and psychiatric doctors) that a rapist or murdered is not really guilty and I though "bullshit", he must go to jail. Believe me that this is not about wanting not to take responsibility and wanting to do bad things so we are not guilty. Nothing farther from the truth. But think about this, when someones commits a murder, he goes to jail and if he makes crazy things they send him to solitary confinement. It is proved that people in isolation go crazier, we as human beings need interaction with other to be sane mentally. Now I think that people need to be treated, in jail they get worse. I'm not trying to convince you about free will, just my point of view. I am always open to any new idea so, maybe I can be wrong.

Hi @Pamela Zamora, nice to meet you. Thank you very much for sharing your story. I hear you saying you fear that he might be a danger to himself or others. If you are saying you are seriously concerned he could commit suicide I would call the appropriate authorities. Depending on where you live they can get him an assessment to determine if in fact he is a danger to himself or to others. (My law enforcement and emergency service training is coming out here. ) @Ayla is correct, you can't make him come back and do" the right thing". What is the "right thing" for him? I understand this feeling. I have a son in prison. Prison is not a nice place. I worry about my kid. Is that a reasonable thing to have a concern over? It must be or I wouldn't feel concerned. I have to accept I have no control over his safety at all. Some days I do better with that than others. Your dad is in a manic phase and his conduct will be high risk/impulsive/potentially self destructive or violent? It sounds like a valid concern based upon your past direct experience? If he does not have conduct bad enough to merit you getting him professional intervention? Now you focus on you and protecting you from his actions. Its also alright to admit a family member is toxic for you at the moment and allow them to walk their own path and set firm boundaries so your paths don't intersect. Real or not real? It certainly feels real when your life is in chaos due to allowing some of his actions into you life; and you can choose to dismiss the guilty thoughts and focus on your own wellness and growth. (Also easier said than done at times. ) Its challenging at first when we are used to taking responsibility for someone else, to focus just on ourselves and allow then to take responsibility for themselves. Just asking the questions you are now? You are on the path to making that shift for yourself. I wish you the best and I hope your father can get some help. In the interim I suggest radical acceptance of what is. If that means grieving the loss of what you hoped for your dad? That's okay too.

Yes, practicing death-awareness, i.e. Memento Mori, is probably the simplest, most effective method for becoming disillusioned. That doesn't mean kill yourself; it just means exposing yourself regularly to the notion of death. You can do that by hanging out in cemeteries, looking down from steep cliffs, convening with pictures of dead people, thinking about how you will end up dying, and countless other ways. "We've homogenized our lives by hiding the parts we're afraid of, and in so doing, we've removed all sense of urgency from life. We have taken death out of life and that allows us to live unconsciously. Death never left, of course, we've just turned away from it, pretended it wasn't there. If we wish to awaken - and that's a mighty big if - then we must welcome death back into our lives. Death is our personal Zen Master, our source of power, our path to lucidity, but we have to stop running from it in a blind panic. We need only stop and turn around and there it is, inches away, staring at us with unblinking gaze, finger poised, every second of our lives. That finger is the one true thing in the dream state, and it will, for a fact, come down. Maybe all this sounds morbid or depressing to you. Maybe you think death is the opposite of life, or that all this death-awareness stuff translates into the end of happiness and good times, but this is not the case. Death isn't morbid, fear is morbid. Death doesn't oppose life, fear opposes life. To close your eyes to death is to close them to life; what could be more morbid than that? From your perspective, death and suicide are horrific and unthinkable. From my perspective, they are empowering and life-affirming, and I would look at any person that doesn't have an open honest relationship with these subjects as themselves nine parts dead." --Jed McKenna

I don’t agree that we should eliminate the ego. The goal should be to develop a strong and healthy ego. The word “ego” is Latin and simply means “I” or “me.” So strictly speaking, we do not only have an ego – we are egos. The ego is our whole person, including our body. Ego is personal identity. The important question is what kind of ego we should have, not whether to have one or not. To say “I have no ego” is to say “ego have no ego” and that is obviously a contradiction. The only way to kill the ego is to commit suicide. Some people use the word ego to describe a false personality, as if ego by definition is something false or faked. You can have a false or faked ego, but you can also have a genuine ego. The ego can make us want to brag, or lie to protect us from embarrassment, or create the need to always be right, etc. But this is the result of a weak ego, not a strong and harmonious one. A weak ego feels inferior and need to compensate with bragging while a strong ego have no such need. A weak ego needs validation, thus the need to always be right. A weak ego need others agreement (support) while a strong and harmonious ego can easily accept disagreement. A strong ego is self-supportive and independent and is not easily affected by what other people do or say. A so-called “big” ego is inflated; it´s empty on the inside. A strong and harmonious ego have no need to be “big” or “loud” or “bragging,” etc. The ego should be like a diamond; strong and beautiful. ............. Relevant article by Phillip J Watt: The Ego is Not the Enemy http://themindunleashed.org/2015/07/the-ego-is-not-the-enemy.html “Ultimately, the aim should be to have a healthy, functional, content and loving ego which explores the ‘spirit’ of life. Expand it. Empower it. Enlighten it. It should also have a balanced attachment to itself, which means it should be attached in ways that is practical for its existence but not attached in ways that reinforces the pain and suffering of itself and others.”

Hey, I don't really get how people who have read Jed McKenna books are still excited about this enlightenment stuff. For those who haven't read it, he clearly points out that: -enlightenment a painful "process" -is not about finding some cool truth, but the destroying of all illusion until only truth is left -is as radical as committing suicide -is life negative, pointless and should only be pursued by those who have no other options -has nothing to do with becoming a better person, becoming happier or raising consciousness -has nothing to do with love, compassion, bliss or heaven on earth I'll let the guy speak for himself because his analogies are ingenious: "Well, I wouldn't want to give the impression that it's almost pointless. It's perfectly pointless. Awakening to your true nature is like dying; it's a certainty, inevitable. You're going to get there no matter what you do, so why rush? Enjoy your life, it's free. Cosmic Consciousness and Altered States and Universal Mind are names of rides in this vast and fascinating dualistic amusement park. So are Poverty and Disease and Despair. Enlightenment though, is not another ride. Enlightenment means leaving the park altogether, but why leave the park? In the park you can be a saint or a yogi or a billionaire or a world leader or a warlord. Be good, be evil. Happiness, misery, bliss, agony, victory, defeat, it's all here. What's the big rush? When the time comes to leave the park you'll know and you'll go, but there's certainly nothing to be gained by it." "From the U-Rex perspective, "I say, U-Rex is obviously real reality and C-Rex is obviously ridiculous. Also, C-Rex has no upside. There's nothing in its favor, it doesn't go anywhere. Truth is a booby-prize. It doesn't do any good or make anything better. It doesn't provide meaning, it strips meaning away. It takes all the amusement out of the amusement park; no meaning, no significance to anything, no reason to get out of bed in the morning. C-Rex brings nothing to the table, whereas U-Rex creates the illusion of meaning. We must have the context U-Rex provides. Even though it's false, it's still context." "So the lie is better than the truth, you are saying." "Sure. The truth might set you free, but then you find yourself standing in an endless parking lot outside the amusement park wondering why you're out, and how to get back in. Truth has nothing to recommend it except that it's true. U-Rex has everything to recommend it except that it's false." "Me, I don't think so. I know Maya pretty well and i don't see her ever losing more than the occasional stray. A species-wide transformation is a pretty idea, but we have little cause for optimism and plenty for pessimism. It's nice to think we could elevate ourselves, and it's fun to dabble in theoretical scenarios, but the reality is that man will never evolve or transcend or develop beyond his past and present level. If that sounds like a bad thing to us, if Maya sounds like a force of evil, if the terms by which man lives on this planet seem to oppressive or restrictive, then we might do well to take a step back and reevaluate the situation. Where are we? What is this place? Is it a prison to be despised or an amusement park to be enjoyed? Is ego a hideous affliction? Or is it simply the vehicle that allows us to come out and play? When the choice is between no-self and false-self, false-self start looking pretty good and despising and demonizing it starts to seem pretty ungrateful." This demonizing of ego, which i see a lot here, seems to me very ironically, just an ego game Now sure he is exaggerating a bit, there are other perspectives and Jed McKenna is off course not the ultimate authority on enlightenment(although i have little doubt that he is enlightened), and i'm sure Truth can be a very great thing for people, but i really doubt whether enlightenment is something desirable for everyone, when the enlightened guy himself states that it's life-negative.

All the words and explanations in the world will not result in so-called "enlightenment". Are you pursuing an idea, or a concept of "enlightenment"? It is just a word. What you are looking for is a realization - not the word - but the actual event. Is there a method? Well, we can develop/design methods based on actual realizations, but then we run into words and interpretations and so on. In every case, one has to attend to watching, and practising mindful behaviour as often as possible throughout every day. One must approach this with seriousness. How badly do you want it? One Zen example often mentioned is the allegory of shoving a person's head under water until they panic for air, and then letting their head up for air and then saying something like "When you want it as badly as you wanted air just now". Just practising techniques and carrying out certain routines is not sufficient by itself. You must want it badly enough so that your intention and behaviour in every aspect of your life demonstrates your dedication to meeting with truth. It is here before us. Will we attend to it? Those who have eyes to see ... and ears to hear ... you know ... that sort of thing. Of course there have been seemingly spontaneous cases of "awakening". But there is much behind those happenings. Tolle spoke of his childhood and the problems his parents had and what state it left him in; then his desire to find out the truth - so he went to university where most people and he also believed, the truth could be found; then his disappointment, that after all his higher education, he had still not found the truth he was seeking; then during his doctorate year he had such a great depression he wanted to commit suicide (a thought he had entertained even during childhood); then as all this built up to a peek, a sudden insight dawned on him. "I cannot live any longer with myself". "There must be two of me. I and myself". What was this all about, he wondered. He seems to have entered a deep mode of self-enquiry - it activated his subconscious mind. He fell asleep exhausted and awoke the next morning to a different view of the world. Then he stopped attending university and spent time on park benches and went to various places to find out what had happened to him. He researched and learned more and more. As most awakened people will tell you, it is an ongoing process. The first instance of awakening is a huge change of world view in terms of what is reality as compared to apparent reality. But the awakening process continues and matures. I hope this adds light to some of the matters under discussion here and elsewhere. joy

Wow@Life with joe , you've certainly seen some dark places. I'm glad you've done well. My own father commit suicide when I was 21. This reduced me to a very low point; I felt worthless, and as an example, I didn't have sex or get any employment for the following 5 years. I hid in solitude. However, through that I have grown into a very skilled painter, and can create art that I would never have dreamed for myself. The last couple of years I have been tackling a lot of my neuroses, and growing in many other areas. My vision has awakened, so to speak. I am pursuing financial independence, in a way that feeds my vision, and that I believe in. I'm undoubtedly the happiest I've ever been. I've begun to see the low points in life as beautiful opportunity, to grow.

@OceanJjb Hello OceanJjb, I am 48, in 5 months 49. I have divorced two times. My second marriage lasted 9 years. When I got pregnant of his child, his behavior towards me changed completely. First he was that loving husband, and suddenly he was that evil narcissistic creature. I suffered physical en mental abuse on a daily basis. My alcohol consumption took on a whole other level, and every day I was drunk. Giving my husband additional justification why I deserved to be punished. Nobody was aware of this situation, his demon came out when we were just the two of us. After 7 years of marriage I was convinced that my only way out was suicide. But then something happened that changed my perception completely. On my 39the birthday I was diagnosed with AD(H)D. From that moment on, I stopped being the victim, and 3 weeks later I joined A.A. Me being sober and now defending myself verbally, I became useless to my husband. I didn’t fear him anymore. A few months later, my husband left me, already on the hunt to cash his next prey. Now, ten years later, I enjoy the love and company of my 3 wonderful boys. I am in a loving relationship (for almost 8 years) with a man who adores me. He is 8 older than me. And I have a successful carrier. Now why am I telling you my story? Because it is a school example of how miserable life can be, if we choose not to take our responsibility for our own life and our own happiness. We all have our demons from past experiences. But it is our personal choose how we deal with them in the present. Demons feed on fear. You overcome fear with love! If you want your demons to leave you in peace, you have to love yourself, your life. Nobody else but you is in charge of your life. So, if you are not happy with your current situation, move your ass, stop existing and start living!! I am grateful that I stopped choosing the easy way. Meaning: staying in my comfort zone by means of playing the victim, and blaming all my shortcomings, drinking and mistakes on my husband. OceanJjb, I care about you. I tell you my story, because I hope to open your eyes. If I didn’t care, I would be sleeping by now. In Belgium its 01:30 in the morning. Take care!