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@Javad In your analogy, the I AM/True Self/Witness/Consciousness/Absolute is the vacuum of empty space in which the car is located. The mind is NOT the I AM. The mind will try to make itself feel and think that it is the I AM, so watch out! You must detach from all mind activity. That doesn't mean all mind activity must stop, it just means you must not identify with it. What you are looking for is Nothingness. But it cannot be found using the mind. So how do you find it? There is no way, no method to get to it. A radical leap in consciousness is required. That comes naturally with lots of practice witnessing and observing your direct experience. You must throw out all analogies. Enlightenment/Nothingness cannot be accessed via an analogy AT ALL. Every analogy is not it. You must become the Nothingness directly! It has to be totally direct. You cannot form an image or idea of it. Any idea you have of it is not it. This is why it's so frustrating and difficult. Closest you can get to Nothingness via a technique is just sitting in silence with a very still mind.

Isn't it just so complex for human mind, especially tear one, that it feels like God is a-logical? I mean, for me even car or oven is pure magic, because I don't know shit about it mechanisms, but my gaming experience and using a lot of cheat-codes and trainers saying me that it's very logical that if God is Fromless Nothingness, which has unlimited abilities, that everything what he's create is perfect. I think, that even craziest mindfuck can become very logical, when your defenition of world logic a recontextualized.

Chapter 206 April 4 You can take something perfect and just destroy it and reduce it to nothing. Or you could take something imperfect and turn it into a very valuable asset. It's all about intentions. The clay of physical reality can be molded into anything that your mind wants. This is the basis of intention and outcome. The outcome will forever be beautiful if the intention is right Anything that is abused and taken for granted degenerates over time You don't have to feel bad that you are not perfect because even the most perfect people in the world make mistakes and degrade over time. It's not like if you are perfect you have hit the jackpot. Nothing is decided. Everything is fate. To think that perfection would have been this ultimate ticket to a better life is just wishful thinking. Things don't work that way. Focus only on what good can be created. Rest is just a thought of what would have been could have been. And life is paradoxical. Because people who don't have it wish they had it and people who have it waste it. In effect everything good or bad cancels out and comes to equality. It is life's way of doing justice. Its all about intentions, character and outcome.. There is nothing to be jealous of absolute perfection. Because when you have something you have the fear of losing it. When you don't have something you are desperate to have it.. The best state to be in is a state of rest fulness. In this restfulness state, everything is calm and beautiful. You become neutral, more like an object rather than a person. The narcissism disappears. This state is more important. In this state, it's nothingness, and nothing matters, good or bad. You don't even think much about yourself. You think about what can be done. You think more about the art rather than the artist. Its like you look beautiful and you still don't do makeup. You hardly care about anything. You become selfless. You care about doing things.. Taking care of others, let's say animals. You don't stand out, rather you become one with the whole creation.. There is so much humility in you. You are focused more on what good you can do. You become very matured and very selfless. You reach a different plane. You are more worried about bigger things in life than yourself. This is where you graduate from self centeredness towards oneness with creation. You become one with universal love. You might think of this as flower child philosophy. But it's really the truth of existence. One person's life is not worth the whole ecosystem's existence. The whole system has to flourish. And when you have that kind of empathy in yourself, you begin to serve a broader purpose, extended towards others and eventually you feel that love and you create brotherly love like a sense of community love and when such a community love exists, all competitiveness and jealousy disappears. The love overcomes jealousy,hate, self centeredness,narcissism, self righteousness, and you begin to feel an enormous feeling of joy and happiness and warmth and love and suddenly it doesn't even matter whatever imperfections you have because you only think about how much you can contribute rather than receive. You become a giver rather than a receiver. You become like God. Its a state where all your negativity has seeped away and you feel a tremendous sense of calm, peace and maturity. You don't even have one percent of jealousy or hate or anger or envy or passion. Because all you want to do is give. You become extremely empathetic. That ego disappears. You try to see what purpose you can serve and how you can give better. You are only focused on your duty and purpose, not on yourself anymore. You just start to use yourself out. It's the highest point of maturity and intelligence. And of course love. Everything becomes immaterial when you feel that much love. You feel like even if you suffered or lost something or gained something it doesn't matter. All things begin to appear small and irrelevant. Everything appears very superficial and pointless. You are able to let go a lot of what you were always holding back as very important. You will start to focus on bigger things. The possessiveness goes away. You will be much less affected by anything that is concerning yourself. You will not be affected by your imperfections or perfections. You will have the "it doesn't matter" attitude. You will feel more free. Thoughts about yourself will not bug you anymore. You won't feel consumed the way you used to feel once.

@JakeR If you actually study quantum mechanics you will notice there no particles actually. Particles are pure mental abstraction. What is really there are infinitely entangled qunatum wave functions. Particle never existed. That was a cute story told to you in grade school because the reality of the sub-atomic world is infinitely complex and impossible to model perfectly. There can be nothing more fundamental than nothingness and infinity. No form is fundamental. All "particles" come and go, born and die -- as QM tells you. You must interpret QM very carefully. QM does NOT support materialism or realism at all.

Hello, My question is regarding the bolded sentence. I'm not a buddhist. I use the term awareness vs. using the term nothingness, but do you mind eleborating on what you mean by "getting rid of identification altogether"?

Inquire into this "I" you believe in so thoroughly. Is it actually there? Can you find where it comes from? How certain are you that this sense of being an "I" is actually founded in reality and not an illusion? The point is not to identify with nothingness, the point is to lose all identification - which is surrender.

Specially since the pursuit of enlightenment (if done improperly) can lead to depression. All it takes is for a person to mistakingly identify with nothingness instead of getting rid of identification altogether. That is the recipe for depression, nihilism, and potentially suicide.

@Iksander Imo Leo says 5meo gives the ego death nothingness experience and saves lot of time for the seeker in progressing as otherwise it takes lot of time to understand believe the teachings and do the practices sincerely. It clears away the doubts inner unwanted resistance mechanisms of mind of the seeker. Most of the people in the forum who used physcadelics agree upon that. And more than that leo says its the deeper non dual insights which 5meo gives. But 5meo by itself cannot give one enlightenment. This is my understanding about physchadelics so for.

I've really thought about this a lot when it comes to contemplating my Life Purpose and boy is this something that's going to be messy. Now that we're in a world that DEMANDS and integral approach to spirituality, psychology, philosophy, human transformation, science, politics, and planetary restoration and also now that 5-MeO-DMT and other psychedelics is becoming slowly but surely more talked about... I really can't help but contemplate how an integral spiritual infrastructure could really be built, particularly in Western, 1st world, secular countries. What excites me is that all the tools seem to be there. Granted, legality of psychedelics of course is still a big issue. However, as far as I'm concerned, I think even that obstacle could still be worked around. The practices are all out there, the psychedelics that help most for consciousness work are out there as far as what are the one's to use (again, acquisition of such substances is another matter right now). When I look at popular sages and spiritual leaders like Sadhguru (I'm going to use him & India as my example in this post because he's just such a good, yet rare, example) I see someone and something truly extraordinary. I see someone who clearly is a masterful 2nd tier systems thinker. He's able to influence and talk to an enlightened yogi whose been in a cave for 15 years (Blue/Purple), economic and political titans (Orange), rational left brained scientists (Orange/Yellow), rural masses (Blue), kids as far down as elementary school, urbanites in their 20s pursuing sex/materialism (Orange), and attract the liberal hippies from afar (Green). You can even see in his talks and discourses he talks to all of them differently. He's even able to lead his sannyasis and he's actually very integral and 2nd tier in his approach by creating a system within his ashram where he can bring in both men and women and have an environment that seems to unite them all and even lead conscious restoration projects. It's fucking incredible that one man can lead all that in yet still have 1 month out of the year to spend in the Himalayas each year (read that in his biography). At the same time though (not even getting into his good fortune of his full enlightenment at the age of 25 - past 3 lifetime of work... as far as I'm concerned I don't see why this can't be the case), look at how fucking rare a person like that is. Someone who can withstand that workload, has that strong interpersonal and 2nd tier leadership skills, is as masterful and downright talented he is in the domain of spirituality as he is (beyond his depth of psychic proficiency and so much more, which as far as my research goes, is fucking off the charts if it really is true), not having gotten power hungry, the degree to which he succeeded in terms of impact on the world, etc. Also consider that he's in a country that has over 5000 years of spiritual infrastructure/foundation! There's a spiritual science there for building fuckin' temples at how to utilize them as energy centers for human beings (Agamas Shastras). I personally agree with @Leo Gura (which I think he hammers home on better than even than Ken Wilber) on the point that spirituality and really, the world at large, must go integral and evolve and include and embrace technologies such as psychedelics and specifically 5-Meo-DMT, EEG technology, what's to come with AI, etc. and also embrace other personal development schools, schools of psychology, science, art, philosophical schools, etc. which A LOT of these teachers reject because their whole impact is based around creating a particular niche school which excludes other things! Can you imagine going into a Zen monastery in Japan and trying to convince a Zen master whose been in a certain school that 5-Meo-DMT can get you to realize Nothingness in 30 min or less and that it's a much faster and more efficient tool than grinding for decades (which is not to dismiss work ethic or portray 5-MeO-DMT as some quick fix) that, for most people who down that path, produces a semi deep awakening at best? He'd keisaku your ass out of there. Hell, I would imagine even Sadhguru would dismiss it as a perfectly legitimate path. Even Ralston, a deeply enlightened master here in the West that seems to have no real attachment any spiritual system or spiritual culture and grew up a lot here in the San Francisco where I live dismisses psychedelics! What happens when the human guru is replaced with a syringe and powder made in a chemistry lab? How likely is that guru to either accept that or end up abusing that? Not to mention, the more integral you get, the more you'll have to realize that each person is of course different in their unique set of problems, their strengths and talents, emotional blockages, personality types, interests, etc. which of course undermines a set and stone system/school/tradition because the whole point of tradition/school/system is that it's different from all the others, even just from a business standpoint. Not to mention, the larger the school and the more people you draw in, the more you'll have to dilute your teachings, practices, and the Greater Jihad to fit the masses. Granted, going back to Sadhguru, I think he's being smart by having his ashram where he leads sanyasins where he goes balls to the wall with them so that when he dies, he's planted seeds that will live on after him. Even with that though, look at how much corruption, dilution, shenanigans, and the collapse in the quality of the school after the main leader passes on. What happens when Sadhguru's vision just becomes some ideological moral objective for his followers in 100 years that blindly follow that rather than think for themselves? What happens when you're school falls behind in it's spiral stage and grows out of date and becomes obsolete and eventually becomes regressive relative to where the rest of the world is? This is not even mentioning the work that comes with transcending cultural paradigms. Lastly, how on earth does a spiritual infrastructure get built in a country like say in the USA where our culture is not one of Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, but one of consumerism? We (I live in the USA so this is just an easier way for me to frame this) live in a country that as far as my (subpar) analysis and assessment goes seems to just be emulating the same pattern that lead to the fall of Ancient Greece. On the global macro scale, the USA is a baby country as far as it's age goes. If I were to equate this with a business example, we seem to be like just one giant MLM that's been parasitic on not just the earth but to other world cultures and countries. It's like a business who just aims for profits for the short and mid-term at all costs and get's wealthy in the beginning and stays there for awhile because its Orange, it's strategic enough to stay on top. In the end though the business falls apart because it wasn't based on those timeless principles longer lasting principles that undermine short-term growth. Not to mention, we don't even recognize our culture that much because consumerism is much harder to see relative to a lot of other world cultures. For better and worse, we have such a massive influence on the rest of the world. People in other countries (particularly in the 3rd world of course) still idolize America and wish to come over here for opportunity and a chance for them as an individual to thrive at Stage Orange and make something of themselves. We infect the world with our ideology and image of consumerism and Stage Orang mindset. Taking a step though, there are A LOT of pluses with that. So I'm not saying this to just bash Orange and the USA. Orange is multiplistic. It helped science and a lot of other fields and industries to really unfold which a lot of these countries really desperately need. It brought opportunity and set the stage for individuals to revolutionize and rebel against the excesses that came with Blue. At the same time though, we seem to be in a place without a strong nor up to date spiritual/metaphysical foundation/infrastructure which I think is really one of our primary achilles heels when it comes to the survival of this country and also the world since the United States is such an influential powerhouse. What happens to a family when the only breadwinner is dad and mom is a housewife and the kids follows dad no matter what because of the power disparity he has and dad is also a raging alcoholic that beats his wife and kids and gets away with it because he's the most powerful one in the house but eventually becomes so neurotic and dysfunctional because of his of his dysfunctional ego that he ends up in jail or dies in a drunk driving accident? Or if mom eventually decides to fight back and comes at him with a baseball bat? Is that really going to make the family any better? Or will that lead to the collapse of the family entirely? I don't know...

Good video. There is only the formless taking on all form. God is Nothingness and from that Everything exists. Nothing=Everything. God=nothingness=everything. Nothingness and Everything, it is all God.

Yes, I think we are talking about the same thing. But this nothingness is fully aware and conscious. You can call It God or not, it does not really matter once one becomes conscious of It. ?

In being on this forum viewing the responses many of you seem to have the belief that psychology and beliefs don't matter. Like I post about different spiritual concepts and there isn't much interest in it. But this is why I think that is a bunch of BS, and why psychology and beliefs do matter. Besides the obvious fact that beliefs and our truths shape our reality, being enlightened doesn't automatically make one do good. It's only by actually believing that we are more than flesh and blood and actually doing good in this world that we can evolve to true enlightenment. If we don't help relieve suffering and add meaning to our lives and others by believing and evolving through higher and higher truths then we don't actually create good avatar synthesis. We don't actually overcome. The only way to do avatar synthesis is to work with the meanings of our beliefs, intentions, thoughts, emotions. I know some of you believe that we don't have free will, so doing this is meaningless. But for the universe to be created itself would require free will. It's only by believing that we can overcome anything by taking on full and total responsibly for our actions and thoughts that something deep in us rises up to free us from our animal nature. Overcoming every single obstacle and attaining our highest potential isn't a blank state of nothingness. When the masters came here and reincarnated on earth like the Buddha, Jesus, Krishna or whoever, they were not blank states of conscious nothingness. These are ordained people sent by God to bring a message to a generation. If you don't believe in God can exist as a being then you need to read the near death experience book by Eben Alexander (neurosurgeon.) So theses enlightened masters knew how to work with words ideas, concepts, emotions, and thoughts at a fundamental level, It was inherent in their very nature because of all the previous good deeds that they did. Doing the right thing was so deep in their being and consciousness that nothing would stop them from doing it. And so what is it that separates these enlightened masters that only do good from those that do wrong and bring suffering to the world? We can we say? That at least fundamentally for now in this reality and time-frame for now these enlightened masters are doing something very different than those that cause suffering on this earth. That is why I believe in free will. Free will requires that one have the right mental constructs in order for them to even start to make truly selfless choices to bring love and peace to the world. Thoughts? The Avatar of Synthesis www.vimeo.com/295781325 BTW Swami Satchidanand is one of the few permanently enlightened masters in this world. EDIT: I guess I would just add one more thing, which is, I believe that if a a pure consciousness reincarnated here but didn't have any avatar synthesis then it would just fall apart in our world because it didn't have any past experience to deal with this type of reality. That is why we need to learn to choose the right thoughts and actions. Especially when it matters most.

Like? I was looking for something different in the recent "Becoming God" video. I was sooooo carefully listening to learn something new. But, I know it's just more of infinity: Nothingness transforming into everythingness transforming into singularity (aka, Riding the Ox Backwards/black hole) transforming back into ego with love / "bliss." Ok, Leo. Yeah, if you had that bliss 13 times, you would experience tears of joy in your ego. Take your time. It's not easy to make your life purpose completely communicating well to all the viewers.

Definitely. In this context, "I" is this human, who is soon going to be living on the streets. You can say, the I here is the ego. Of course this does not touch my true identity as the no-self in the very least, but my Ego asks: If I am here in this dream as an entity, why must I suffer? Couldn't awareness just remain as the nothingness it is, instead of taking form in you and me? And since it did take form as me, the ego, now why can't it do a miracle for that dream entity? If God can do anything, it wouldnt cost him much to curse me with 1 million dollars.

@thesmileyone keep in mind that although the substance of everything is ultimately nothing and that deception is what really " creates" anything (dualism)...although this is the case notice also that reality is an absolute relativity. It's what you (God) make of it. If you choose to give it no meaning then guess what - that's what you get. If you give it meaning then it has meaning. It's all the way you look at it. Thats the magic. Basically if you wish to change your perspective you still can..knowing that the substance of everything is nothing will not change that once you are conscious enough. You can enjoy life and in fact you will find an even deeper sense of peace and being then ever before. But at the same time you will see through what is shallow and what really has meaning in life. That is true wisdom. Remember that although reality is the formless it is also intelligent and loving. It exists! Nothingness exists. That's the mystical, paradoxical nature of reality. It's really beautiful when you think about it.

Inspired by the title of another topic, I want to ask the serious question : Why am I so dumb? Many here have stated that I am God. Is God dumb then? I make mistake after mistake and keep failing at life. Perhaps I am the infinitely dumb side of God, since God is infinite in all directions! Perhaps its because everyone and everything else is God too, so in comparison I am a smaller and dumber God. Which leads me to the next thought: If I am God and everyone else is God, then that makes me not God. God is supposed to be all powerful, yet I am always below the rest of the Gods and cannot do anything except lose, no matter how much I want to win. What a shitty god I am!! Why am I so dumb?? I should be able to will things into existence, I should be able to create anything I desire out of nothingness instantly if I truly was God, but at best, I am a dumb God that doesn't know how to do that!

@Truth Addict What do you mean you don't exist? Don't delude yourself. You are still identified with someone who has adopted the quality of nothingness. I made a post warning people of this misconception before. This is the path to depression. The point was never to disprove the ego's existence. The point is to dis-identify wit "I-ness". There is still I-ness identification with you, but this 'I' is no longer attached to objects so you see the world as Void. Don't see the void, be the void.

Here is what this fear is making me do: I am constantly trying to figure out what an enlightenment experience will be like. “would I hold on for dear life” Thinking of ways to develop courage to handle it Thinking of ways to prepare my body and mind to handle it: Already created a plan: Climb maslow’s hierarchy, Complete sadhguru’s hatha and beginner programs, get into Ayurveda, cover my base survival needs, reach higher stages in spiral dynamics. Will all this really prepare me for awakening or an awakening experience? What if I do so much consciousness work that I go crazy, or lose my mind, or cause trauma or be in excessive fear all day. What if I can’t let go of my attachments. What if I want my old life back? —————————————————— This fear isn’t making me really emotional about it or whatever but it is on my mind all the time. Am I being too OCD about it? Is there any way to tackle this? I used to be so excited about spirituality and awakening but constantly hearing that “it could be hard to stomache” “you reach a point of no return” “it is the end of your life” “absolute nothingness” All this is stirring up all kinds of negative emotions like excessive fear, self-esteem, doubting myself, lack of desire for spirituality (and even other desires of life), etc. Part of it is my lack of acceptance of uncertainty of the future. I just really sell myself on the idea that everything is going to be okay in the future, that life gets better, life gets more stable and balanced and happier. But how do I know? I could get killed before any of the good comes? I could be in even more excessive fear? How am I supposed to know? As I am writing all this I see that it is all just my fear speaking. And I am slowly accepting, and practicing acceptance. But what else am I doing wrong? How do I deal with this? How can I make this path more enjoyable and avoid experiences I can’t handle? Is “death” really that bad? How can I stomache this kind of experience when the time comes? I don’t mind even putting in 20 years to prepare myself for enlightenment, but is it the case that I put in 20 years doing everything to prepare my mind, body, and emotions and enlightenment still is scary and hard after those 20 years?

@legendary That is very difficult to assess in practice, especially if you haven't had multiple awakenings yourself. The challenge is that different minds talk about awakening in different ways, so just because two people talk different and emphasize different things does not necessarily mean their level of awakening is different. To be totally honest, I don't know anyone else's level of awakening. I only know what levels I have experienced. The rest is my speculations. It is possible to try to guess a person's levels of awakening by asking them various questions about the nature of reality. Depending on how they answer these questions you might catch some clues about how awake they really are. But again, you're still just guessing. You don't really know. It could just be a failure to communicate. Many awake people are just poor communicators. Some questions I like to ask people to determine how awake they are: Why is there something rather than nothing? What is God? How does God create? What is your true nature? What is non-existence? What is Truth? What is Infinity? What is Consciousness? What is Love? Have you become conscious of infinite intelligence? What is the deepest thing you've become conscious of? Do other people exist? etc. If they are not able to answer these questions clearly and satisfactorily, then I consider that they are not fully awake. Although it might just be that they don't want to answer such questions. It can be hard to tell. To me the highest teaching must affirm: 1) You are God, 2) Total nonduality, 3) Infinity & Nothingness Teachings which cannot answer the question of why there is something rather than nothing are incomplete in my opinion. Because I have clearly answered this question for myself. So I know it can be done. Teachings which try to emphasize emptiness or formlessness over form are also incomplete in my opinion since they fail to fully comprehend that form and formlessness are identical. Teachings which claim there is no God are also suspect. Since you can clearly recognize that you are God. I am also suspicious of teachings which never talk about absolute Love or which deny Love as an Absolute. I am also suspicious of teachings which do not ever mention the energetic aspects of awakening. I am super suspicious of any teachings which claims that enlightenment is binary and has no degrees. To me this is clearly false as my experience says otherwise. If someone cannot explain clearly what God is, why God is, and how God works, they are not fully awake in my opinion. Since I have been able to understand all that for myself. It can clearly be done. And not as theory, belief, or speculation. You can be totally conscious of how God works. Of course you can also evaluate a person's demeanor, energy, and vibe. But this can also be misleading. It can be hard to tell whether you are projecting your own ideas onto them. So in practice the best thing you can do is not to get married to any one teacher or teaching. Keep looking for deeper and deeper teachings and you will probably keep finding them. And also remember, just because someone isn't fully awaken doesn't mean you can't learn a lot from them. So don't get too perfectionistic trying to find the perfect teacher. The most awake people are often poor teachers. Teaching ability is not at all the same as degree of awakening. The best teachers will likely be less awake than the most awakened people: precisely because they spend a lot time teaching! In the same way that the best mathematicians are not the best math teachers. Whenever you are in doubt, just ask 5-MeO-DMT and it will tell you the truth -- assuming you're ready to stomach it. It will not lie to you. Your mind might lie. But 5-MeO does not. Every answer you want is there. You just have to dig it out a bit, which can take time. I will trust 5-MeO-DMT over any living master. Direct experience is king.

@Joseph Maynor The paradox is fully there. Then again, paradox does not really exist. Paradox only exists within the realm of mind, when mind tries to articulate infinity. If you just sit and look at reality as it is without thought, there is no paradox. So the paradox is that there is no paradox, until you start to think about it "=" has nothing to do with math. It's a way of saying two things are one. For example, I could say: you = me. That's not math. It's a nondual truth. I could say: I = God God = Love God = Intelligence God = Nothingness God = Infinity Ego = devil Fear = illusion Nonduality = Oneness Infinity = Zero Truth = Love Form = Formlessness God = Creation Etc. And these are all highly worthwhile realizations to have. You are not going to realize all these identities in one shot. This is why having multiple awakenings is so important. The above is actually a very elegant way of communicating the highest truths. In fact, I'll be doing a whole episode about these "equations". My formulations are just one way of expressing/communicating Truth. There are many other ways. Each way will be partial and emphasize different aspects of Truth/God. If you want the full Truth, then you must go beyond the words. The point here is: never take my words too literally. Always leave some leeway. Read between the lines. Grok the intention behind the communication.

no, form is shaped by nothing, form is an illusion and it is not. form exists in a relationship with meaning and meaninglessness. meaning=nothingness and form are interconnected in an endless conversation.

What you must realize is this: Something = Nothing Infinity = Zero Form = Formlessness Illusion = Reality This is one of the deepest awakenings you can have. You will not understand this logically. Only at the moment of awakening. Asking if God cannot be without form assumes that form and formless are two, but they are in fact one. God is simultaneously without form (the Godhead) and all form which has ever occurred anywhere. It is both! It is ALL! The ultimate realization of nonduality is the unification of form and formlessness, so you see them as one. In this way, the everyday material world becomes nothing, like a divine hologram. Your body starts to feel light, like it is a ghost, like you are etherial. Etherial = ether = 5th element = nothingness = consciousness = love = God Ta-da!

@Aakash @Highest @now is forever The way I've taken it as a hypothesis is that, forms are just an appearance. But the essence or substance of form is nothingness. Just like a human body is made of blood, water, carbon and other substances but it appears as a body. We can reduce everything like this. Nothingness/enlightenment is the ultimate reduction. You cannot go any behind than that. The essence of a form is nothingness and ONLY nothingness, so much so that it really doesn't matter if there is an appearance of form in the first place or not. Nothing real or essential comes or goes when a form comes or goes. It's like a video game stored in the computer. The essence or reality of that video game is the 10 GB raw data. But it appears as a stunning video game that looks nothing like ''10 GB data''. Also notice that nothing essential or substantially matters whether that video game is ever played or not or how many times it is played. The reality or essence of that 10 GB data remains ever the same. I'm bringing this up because few days ago after waking up in the morning, I viscerally felt that the waking state is nothing but the deep sleep; it only 'looks' different now.

This retreat was at least 10 times more profound and powerful for me. Maybe more. Words can't do it justice. The degrees of awakening and understanding are hard to capture in words. So to an outside observer it might all sound the same. "Leo, how many times can you say that you are God/nothingness/infinity? Haven't you said all this 2 years ago?" Yes, but the degrees of it are lost in the communication.

the answer to this is yes and no. you know that - there can’t be another answer. as form and illusion coexist in endless meaning and meaninglessness. meaning/nothingness and form are interconnected in an endless conversation.