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@Martin123 so will self realization eventually happen? or people with awakened kundalini before self realization will jump to unity consciousness all together. they will completely reconstruct their ego/karma and have the most harmonious loving unified self. But they won't have total and permanent dis-identification and experience the void consciousness. Is this where it's going? And Jan also mentions that true dis-identification can only happen through self-realization. You can't fake it or temporarily have it. If you try hard to dis identify then it's just disowning/dissociation which is basically neurosis.

No. The case that you first self-realized and then awaken kundalini has been most common. I am one of those who awaken kundalini before self-realization, and that path will (hopefully) take me all the way. I am not so sure about this being too rare anymore. It is the return of the divine feminine/ shakti nowadays after all :). There seems to be a bunch of individuals with awakened kundalini w/o first self-r.

@Martin123 Yeah but the one who shall not be named wasn't even enlightened, until a few weeks ago. Just awakened. Awakening doesn't deserve the label enlightenment in my opinion. Only when there's a permanent shift to oneness with the self is one enlightened.

I think its kundalini awakening. its close to what you are saying https://theyogalunchbox.co.nz/kundalini-awakenings-symptoms-process-benefits-support-help/ but its not active yet, you just awakened it once. I have 0 experience whit this so i can easily bee really wrong, i just watched some people that talked about it.

@egoless Lucid dreams is reffered to when you realize you are in a dream (you become awakened in the dream)while you were already dreaming. Astral projection is consciously leaving the physical body.

@John You don't see such examples because they don't become public figures.. The public figures who you see are only the tip of the iceberg. There are probably thousands of spiritually awakened people who continue to do the same thing after enlightenment. Actually, what you said is not a rule but an exception. Only a very few people give up their old jobs after enlightenment and create an organization to guide other people. As Brimstone rightly said, the change that occurs is actually a shift in the perception of self. That shouldn't necessarily change their lifestyle. After awakening, you may not be interested in personal success because you feel already complete, fulfilled and you won't have a necessity to accumulate or crave for anything. But you still continue the old life style and even try to go to the next step in the ladder for other reasons. What if you have a family and children to support, you still have to fulfill their dreams. Awakened ones hardly think about future. They act according to what the present moment or situation demands. But to others their actions may appear like motivated by craving for fulfillment. When people who are not awakened think about how it feels like living an awakened life, they can only think based on their limited, ego or identity based existence. So, they will always come to wrong conclusions no matter how intelligent they are. Because, somehow unconsciously they still assume that there is going to be duality (or being separate from the existence) after awakening. But after awakening, it opens a huge number of possibilities. You feel totally liberated from the prison of having a limited existence and you feel boundless. You may even act like a fool if you want to.

There is a point during the trip (as in all my trips) where I have a feeling this nondual experience will surely last forever and that I'm awaken now. It surely is convincing at that peak experience when I feel limitless. But of course I eventually come down. However, I can see the subtle nuance pathway being veiled to me for me to be awakened. It's just a continual peeling of the onion and seriously questioning my limiting beliefs and paradigm locks and not to get so easily sucked right back into them as I sober up. Really I feel sharpening of awareness, more trips, and continual studying is necessary for a persistent breakthrough. I like the slow motion water droplet Leo posted in his blog. Each I time trip it's just easier and exciting to just go as far as I can. Dying becomes a skill to be learned or better yet surrendering is the most beautiful art. How willing are you to die right now at this moment? Enlightenment is right now. I am nothing right now. A ghost, a hallucination is a breathtaking dream we call reality. But it's so convincingly real. My parents are convinced, my friends are convinced, and society is convinced that this is real and that we are born and we die. How would an average joe in western society possibly find out about nonduality?

These people have a dark side, his girlfriend killed herself and was introduced to coke and other drugs by him. There is plenty more. I am increasingly distrusting of all these so-called awakened people. They can end up being much worse then us "egoic" regular lifeforms.

Everyone Has Intuition, Even You All of God’s children are endowed with the highest intelligence: intuition, the all-knowing wisdom of the soul. Intuition is that power of Spirit inherited by the soul by which truth is perceived directly, without the medium of any other faculty. Intuition is soul guidance, appearing naturally in man during those instants when his mind is calm. Nearly everyone has had the experience of an inexplicably correct “hunch” or has transferred his thoughts accurately to another person. Every man has the power of intuition, as he has the power of thought. As thought can be cultivated, so intuition can be developed. In intuition we are in tune with Reality — with the world of Bliss, with the “unity in diversity,” with the inner laws governing the spiritual world, with God. …but it needs to be developed: In the life of every person, two forces of knowledge are operative from birth: (1) the power of human reason, along with its satellites of sensation, perception, conception, and so forth; (2) the power of intuition. The former is developed through social institutions and interactions. The latter usually remains uncultured, undeveloped, because of want of proper guidance and methods of training. So long as one’s intuition remains undeveloped, he is guided mainly by the limited understanding of mortal intelligence, with only occasional promptings of intuitive wisdom. Thus he engages in some good actions, but also in many wrong actions, and acquires many bad habits. Through the operation of the law of cause and effect, or karma, he finds himself following helplessly his own self-created destiny, which often leads to misery. A life can be successful, healthy, and complete — balanced with wisdom and happiness — when activity is guided by God’s inner, intuitive direction. The only way to know and to live in truth is to develop the power of intuition. Then you will see that life has a meaning, and that no matter what you are doing the inner voice is guiding you. While animals are guided primarily by instinct, and ordinary man is guided by his ego, the yogi who is united to the Self is guided by the soul. This intuitive power can be developed by learning the step-by-step methods of scientific deepest meditation that lead to Self-realization. Qualities of Intuition It is distinct from senses, thoughts, and intellect… “Intuition manifests in the calm consciousness as feeling, perceived mostly through the heart. When such feeling comes, you receive through it a definite sense of right direction and unshakable conviction.” The senses and mind are the outer doors through which knowledge percolates into the consciousness. Human knowledge filters in through the senses and is interpreted by the mind. If the senses err in perception, the conclusion drawn by the understanding of that data is also incorrect. A white gossamer cloth fluttering in the distance may look like a ghost, and a superstitious person believes that it is a ghost; but closer observation reveals the error of that conclusion. The senses and understanding are easily deluded because they cannot grasp the real nature, the essential character and substance, of created things. Man’s highest faculty is not reason but intuition: apprehension of knowledge derived immediately and spontaneously from the soul, not from the fallible agency of the senses or of reason. Intuition comes from within; thought, from without. Intuition gives a face-to-face view of Reality; thought gives an indirect view of it. Intuition, by a strange sympathy, sees Reality in its totality, while thought chops it up into parts. …and yet it includes feeling Beyond the senses and intellect, intuition manifests in the calm consciousness as feeling, perceived mostly through the heart. When such feeling comes in meditation, you receive through it a definite sense of right direction and unshakable conviction. Increasingly you will be able to recognize and follow this intuition. That doesn’t mean you give up reason. Calm impartial reason can also lead to intuition. Use common sense. But remember that arrogant or emotional reasoning leads to misconceptions and mistakes. “Pure reason and pure feeling both have intuitive qualities. Pure feeling sees as clearly as pure reason.” Pure reason and pure feeling both have intuitive qualities. Pure feeling sees as clearly as pure reason. Most women have a keenly developed intuition. Only when they become unduly excited do they lose their intuitive powers. Pure reason is also intuitive, if this power is sufficiently developed. Otherwise, should the premise be wrong, the conclusion will be wrong also. Sooner or later, every man who reasons clearly will develop true intuition, which never errs. You must feel as well as think; if you do not have feeling along with your thoughts, you will not always be successful in reaching the right conclusion. Feeling is an expression of intuition, the repository of all knowledge. Feeling and thought, or reason, must be balanced; only then does the divine image of God within you, the soul, manifest its full nature. Hence Yoga teaches one how to balance his powers of reason and feeling. One who does not have both equally is not a fully developed person. The harmonious balance of reason and feeling leads to intuitive perception and the ability to know what is Truth. Achieving this balance, men and women become gods. Consequences of Undeveloped Intuition Ignorance of what you really are: Undeveloped intuition is a crystal placed before the soul, producing a double image. The soul itself is the real image; the reflection is unreal — the ego or pseudosoul. The more undeveloped the intuition is, the more distorted the ego image will be. When human life is guided by this false identity, which is brought about by the presence of undeveloped intuition, it is subject to all the limitations and false notions of delusion. A chaotic existence of error and its consequences is therefore inevitable. “Anyone seeking success would accomplish more if he concentrated upon increasing the receptive quality of his brain cells, instead of depending just on books and college work for his progress.” When a man is identified with his body, he feels nothing more than the sensations of sight, smell, taste, touch, sound, weight, and movement....God sent man to earth to be entertained by the bodily dreams, not to obscure his consciousness of immortality by being identified with the body. If one can for a sufficient length of time remain unidentified with thoughts and sensations, and without being unconscious, he will know through the development of intuition the nature of the soul. “I am not the breath; I am not the body, neither bones nor flesh. I am not the mind or feeling. I am That which is behind the breath, body, mind, and feeling.” When you go beyond the consciousness of this world, knowing that you are not the body or the mind, and yet aware as never before that you exist — that divine consciousness is what you are. You are That in which is rooted everything in the universe. The advanced student should meditate deeply until his thoughts become dissolved into intuition. In the lake of intuition, free from the waves of thought, the yogi can see the unruffled reflection of the moon of the soul. Undeveloped intuition brings errors in judgment and wrong decisions. . . Errors in judgment are a result of not having developed intuition. Most of you have had the feeling that you could be great, and do great things; but because you have lacked intuitive power, that potential has, for the most part, remained dormant. Since the judgment of your mind is conditioned by the information fed to it by the senses, if your senses become deluded you may think a person is wonderful without knowing what he truly is inside. You may think you have found your soul mate, so you enter into matrimony; and then end up in the divorce court. But intuition will never make such a mistake. It will not look at the magnetic power of the eyes or at the attractive face or personality of a person, but will feel and perceive accurately in the heart what that person is really like. . . .while developed intuition brings success in life: To progress and to avoid the misery of mistakes, you have to find what is the truth in everything. This is possible only if you develop your intuition. That is the practical truth of the matter. That is why I am asking you to cultivate and use intuitive power in everything. In your relationships with others, in your business, in your married life, in every part of your life, intuition is essential. By not developing the faculty of intuition, you make wrong decisions, pick up the wrong business associates, and get caught up in wrong personal relationships. There is always uncertainty in depending only on the material ways of success. But the intuitive way of success is different. Intuitive perception can never be wrong. It comes by an inner sensitivity, a feeling by which you know in advance whether or not you are going to succeed by following your determined course. Many people, lacking intuition, put a lot of money into financial prospects that do not produce anything, and consequently they lose everything. I have been successful in every decision I have made through intuitive power. It never fails. The scientific man or the businessman or anyone seeking success would accomplish more if he concentrated upon increasing the receptive quality of his brain cells, instead of depending just on books and college work for his progress. The world starts with books and outside methods, but you should start by increasing the receptivity of your intuition. In you lies the infinite seat of all knowledge. Ways to Develop Intuition First develop common sense. . . Intuitive wisdom, though transcending ordinary knowledge, does not make one otherworldly or impractical; it is the parent of common sense, which is simply intuitional reaction to one’s environment. . . . then add some research and deliberate practice to set the stage for intuitional guidance: Learn all you can about your goal and the practical steps needed to achieve it. Whether you are investing your money, starting a business, changing your occupation, after you have investigated, compared, and applied your intelligence to the limit, don't rush headlong into it. When your reason and investigation points to one thing, then meditate and pray to to your inner God. In inner silence, ask your higher self if it is all right to go ahead. If you meditate deeply and earnestly and find that something is turning you from it, don’t do it. But if you have an irresistible positive impulse, and you meditate and pray and go on meditating and this impulse still persists, then go ahead. Your request for guidance must be sincere, so that whatever impulse you feel will be from God and not mere reinforcement of your own flawed desire. That is the way I developed the practical application of my intuition. Before starting any endeavor, I sit in meditative silence in my room and go on expanding that power in my mind. Then I throw the concentrated light of my mind on what I want to accomplish. “Only when restless thoughts cease can one hear the voice of God communicating through the silence of intuition....In the devotee’s silence God’s silence ceases.” Always ask your inner God - the True you - to guide you. If your ego is blind and has a strong voice, it may drown out intuition and mislead you. But if you seek only to please The Universe by your efforts to do something worthwhile, He will guide your footsteps from error to good. Meditation is the surest way. . . The surest way to liberate the expression of intuition is by meditation, early in the morning and before going to bed at night. Whenever you want to solve a problem intuitively, first go into deep meditation or silence, as you have been taught in the Lessons. Don’t think of your problems during meditation. Meditate until you feel that a sense of calmness fills the inner recesses of your body — until a divine happiness fills the inner recesses of soul — and breath becomes calm and quiet. Then concentrate simultaneously at the point between the eyebrows (Christ Consciousness Center) and the heart. Lastly, ask God to direct your intuition, so that you may know what you should do about your problems. The clear-thinking man should be distinguished from the man who thinks too much....Intuition manifests only in calmness; in the undeveloped man, it only occasionally peeps in through the loopholes of leisure periods of the active mind and restless senses. The clear-thinking individual does not allow intellect to overrule intuition; by his patient calmness, he permits the full play of intuition in guiding him to right determinations. To attain a higher state of consciousness and divine perception, it is necessary through meditation to withdraw the mind from its continual restless activity. In that interiorized state, spiritual sensitivity, or intuition, awakens. An advanced Kriya Yogi, who in samadhi meditation has withdrawn his consciousness and life force from the realm of the gross body and senses, enters that inner world of wisdom revelations. He becomes aware of the seven sacred altars of Spirit in the spine and brain, and receives all knowledge emanating from them. Thus in tune with truth through intuitive soul-perception, he knows invariably the correct guidance for all aspects of his spiritual and materially dutiful conduct. Let me be clear about something: the goal of yoga science is to calm the mind, that without distortion it may hear the infallible counsel of the Inner Voice. God speaks to you through your intuition. . . Spirit does not necessarily talk through the lips of a form in a vision, or a materialized human body, but may intimate words of wisdom through the medium of the devotee’s awakened intuition. God may counsel a devotee by assuming the form of a saint, but usually He adopts the simple method of speaking through the devotee’s own intuitive perception. God’s voice is silence. Only when restless thoughts cease can one hear the voice of God communicating through the silence of intuition. That is God’s means of expression. In the devotee’s silence God’s silence ceases. No devotee should be satisfied until he has sufficiently developed his intuition — by impartial introspection and deep meditation, as in Kriya Yoga — to experience the communion of soul and Spirit. If a devotee meditates intensely for at least short periods every day, and has longer periods of three or four hours of deep meditation once or twice a week, he will find his intuition becoming sufficiently superfine to realize unendingly the dialogue of blissful wisdom exchanged between the soul and God. He will know the interiorized state of communion in which his soul “talks” to God and receives His responses, not with the utterances of any human language, but through wordless intuitional exchanges. Real Religion Is Based Upon Intuition All bona fide revealed religions of the world are based on intuitive knowledge. Each has an exoteric or outer particularity, and an esoteric or inner core. The exoteric aspect is the public image, and includes moral precepts and a body of doctrines, dogmas, dissertations, rules, and customs to guide the general populace of its followers. The esoteric aspect includes methods that focus on actual communion of the soul with God. The exoteric aspect is for the many; the esoteric is for the ardent few. It is the esoteric aspect of religion that leads to intuition, the firsthand knowledge of Reality. Intellectual discourses about the Creator will not give you God. But by seeking Him within, making the effort every day, you will find Him. The way to God is not through the intellect, but through intuition. Ordinary human beings, studying and working with material life, are circumscribed in their understanding by their sense perceptions and rationalizing intelligence. With undeveloped intuition, their limited power of intellectuality cannot truly comprehend matters of the spirit even when such truth is expounded to them. Though colossal intellects and famous theologians may be well read about the soul, they may nevertheless understand little about it! On the other hand, even illiterates given to deep meditation will be able clearly to describe the nature of the soul from their own direct experience. Intuition bridges the chasm between intellectual knowledge of the soul and actual realization of the divine Self. Intellectual giants, masters of many languages, veritable walking libraries of knowledge and deductive philosophy, but who are devoid of the help of clear-eyed intuition, have a deluded intelligence — functional on the plane of relativity, but obstructive to divine wisdom. It is by intuition that God can be realized in all His aspects. We have no sense that can reveal knowledge of Him; the senses give knowledge only of His manifestations. No thought or inference can enable us to know Him as He truly is, for thought cannot go beyond the data of the senses; it can only arrange and interpret the impressions of the senses. “God is beyond mind and intellect…His true nature can be felt only through the soul’s power of intuition.” God is beyond mind and intellect…His true nature can be felt only through the soul’s power of intuition. We must find His consciousness through the superconscious mind — the nucleus of mind and intelligence. His infinite nature is revealed to man through the intuitive superconsciousness of the soul. The joy felt in meditation reveals the presence of Eternal Joy spread over all creation. The light seen in meditation is the astral light from which our tangible creation is made. Beholding this light, one feels a unity with all things. Intuition Produces True Wisdom, the Antidote to Kosmic Delusion Man is so drunk with delusion, it obliterates his true perception so that the darkness of his ignorance cannot apprehend the light of God vibrating everywhere. Both cosmic delusion (maya) and individual illusion or ignorance (avidya) work together to thus obscure and confound the soul’s inherent intuitive sense of God’s omnipresence. In meditation this darkness of sensory dependence goes away and intuition prevails, revealing oneself as light in the magnitude of a whole universe of light. When man is settled in that inner kingdom of divine consciousness, the awakened intuitive perception of the soul pierces the veils of matter, life energy, and consciousness and uncovers the God-essence in the heart of all things. When by meditation and devotional practice of divine teachings the soul’s intuition begins to guide the development of intelligence, it is then that delusion instead of wisdom is doomed to destruction. The Transcendent Vision This life is a master novel, written by you as God, and man would go crazy if he tried to understand it by reason alone. That is why I tell you to meditate more. Enlarge the magic cup of your intuition and then you will be able to hold the ocean of infinite wisdom. The devotee who transcends the myopia of body consciousness sees with the superior vision of divine intuition, and resolves all formerly incomprehensible dualities in the ecstatic perception of creation as Beauty and Joy. How expressively the Gita extols this truth: “adorned with countless celestial robes and garlands and ornaments” — the stars are His crown jewels; the earth His footstool; the lightning, thunder, storms, and cataclysms the flash of His accoutrements and snap of His cloak as He dances in joy the whirling rhythms of creation, preservation, destruction. Everything in the objective world is an added decoration to beautify the cosmic garment of God; behind all these is the hidden Divine Reality. Meditate with patience and persistence. In the gathering calmness, you will enter the realm of soul intuition. Throughout the ages, those beings who attained enlightenment were those who had recourse to this inner world of God-communion. Jesus said: “When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” * Go within the Self, closing the door of the senses and their involvement with the restless world, and God - the real you - will reveal to you all His wonders. adapted from an article found in Self-Realization Magazine, fall 2011

Lol a few girlfriends that have awakened??? impossible

@JustinS you have awakened kundalini. The implications of this are for example that regular spiritual practices (self-enquiry,...), won't do any good. Te pandora's box had been opened, now it's time for god to work his magic. there's some nice info in this thread on kundalini.

@Blissout Realizing enlightenment means realizing your True nature (being). At this stage you disidentify with thoughts, your mind becomes still (thoughtless mind), you recognize the center from which everything comes into existence, you transcend the sense world....but the behaviour is still not fully aligned with the center and so you then start the process of embodyment( so your entire body reprograms itself to be in perfect alignment with this realization and center). Embodyment cannot happen if you don't use super powers. With the realization some super powers Will become activated but still one is in ignorance about those and so one needs to learn how to apply those to reality, which requires observation (to fully grasp what those super powers even do) trough long periods of time and a lot of time to fully process and integrate. Realization = mind becomes still (99,9% silent mind with no mental sounds), emotions can still fluctuate, addictions can still be present (depending on how much personal development one did prior to the realization), behavior is not yet aligned to bring one into center (from which the True Self can manifest everything by Devine Will), the breathing rhythm is automatically slow but can get out of sync. Embodyment = no addictions, centered, being able to manifest whatever, emotions are so good, it's better than orgasming 24/7, feels like you're a God, breathing is automatically very very slow and nothing brings it out of this rhythm in comparison with the realization when something can distort it's rhythm. Kundalini is fully awakened and it stays that way. Highest Creativity is active and nothing can stop it. This is what came to mind. This comes from first hand experience, nobody told me this. I have experienced periods that lasted for a few weeks that were like this full embodyment and It was God like, like literally, I was feeling and acting like a God. Hopefully I Will come to full embodyment by age 30. I'm 22 now.

Liberation is the permanent dissolution of the ego. Atman doesn't mean soul, even though it's translated as that. It means you are different from what you think you are. When referring to an individual we use the term atman. When referring to everything and everyone we use the term Brahman. A liberated person is God awakened. An egoic person is God dreaming. Both are God, but one hasn't realized their true nature yet. In Hinduism, it is believed that certain individuals are born liberated and remain that way throughout their life. They are Lord Rama, Krishna, and Kalki (future). They are Param Atman, which means fully liberated. They don't have to do anything special to become liberated. All other incarnations have Jiva atman. Which means they have more ego and need to succeed in meditation to become liberated. This is written by an enlightened sage named Parashara. It's a possibility that this is true. It could also be a concept. I'm open to both possibilities. My opinion is that everyone with a body and mind has to succeed in meditation or spiritual yoga. I don't think anyone is randomly liberated. For example, Rama and Krishna probably became liberated at a young age just like Ramana Maharshi and Ramakrishna. Then they decided to live their life however they wanted because once the ego was gone they're no longer affected by worldly activities. They could go to war, they could have sex, and do other things while experiencing the Infinite. If an egoic person has sex they remain trapped in the dream state. Some behaviors such as truthfulness, non-violence, celibacy, and others, produce ego death faster. These are outlined in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, but it's not the only method to liberation. I don't recommend anyone should suppress their desires. Otherwise they would go crazy. Sri Ramakrishna became liberated through many ways including Christianity and Islam. Here is a quote from The Gospel of Ramakrishna (highly recommended): The love of Rādhā is the precursor of the resplendent vision of Sri Krishna, and Sri Ramakrishna soon experienced that vision. The enchanting form of Krishna appeared to him and merged in his person. He became Krishna; he totally forgot his own individuality and the world; he saw Krishna in himself and in the universe. Thus he attained to the fulfilment of the worship of the Personal God. Swami Nikhilananda. Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna (Kindle Locations 1092-1095). Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center of New York, Inc.. Kindle Edition. In the above quote, he practiced Bhakti Yoga. He wasn't attached to a concept of God, but he had intense love for God itself. Most people love other things besides God. Here is another quote: “How silly! This jug is God! This cup is God! Whatever we see is God! And we too are God! Nothing could be more absurd.” Sri Ramakrishna came out of his room and gently touched him. Spellbound, he immediately perceived that everything in the world was indeed God. A new universe opened around him. Returning home in a dazed state, he found there too that the food, the plate, the eater himself, the people around him, were all God. Swami Nikhilananda. Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna (Kindle Locations 1884-1887). Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center of New York, Inc.. Kindle Edition. A spiritual master can give you these experiences, if you're a genuine seeker. Swami Vivekananda was an atheist before meeting Ramakrishna. Do you think ancient cultures had higher consciousness than we do? Do you think science and history lied about them?

@Richard Alpert if you feel it daily throughout the day your kundalini is awakened. If it was just a one-time(usually matter of minutes) thing, it doesn't have much meaning.

@Danda The absolute allows the space in which infinite perspectives may arise. Infinite perspectives of even itself. Whether someone is fully awakened, slightly awakened, or nowhere near awakened "robot without consciousness" each needs to be seen (and respected) as separate aspects of the infiniteness of the absolute. Sooner or later all separate individual perspectives will come to full realization that the many is really the one. Even though for some that may not happen until their last breath. But that too would be just one of the infinite possibilities of perspectives to be experienced before the separate beingness folds back into the absolute. 'On the absolute beingness appears- and out of that comes illusion. And the illusion occupies the truth'. The truth is there are no perspectives. For there to be perspectives there would have to be two. So that's my perspective of infinite perspectives arising on the absolute. Cherish each for it's uniqueness and have compassion when the individual perspective suffers. It wants nothing more than to find it's way home.

I went to a Satsang of Mooji yesterday. Crazy-ass shit haha. My mind was GOING CRAZY! Like hardcore judgements haha. But I stayed with that discomfort. And now... I feel rejuvenanated, renewed, refreshed. It was an interesting experience. I probably won't go there again, but it was fun to step outside my comfort zone. The challenge is going well. I am amazed that I am actually to keep my word and just commit to ONE practice. I feel kinda of guilty at times. At others, I get fearful thoughts such as "Oh... what if I don't feel good??" or "What if I mess up the day for not having 100000 practices?" Hahah... Life feels like summer vacation hahaha. Boring but at the same time I wouldn't trade it for anything ahhaha. It is so crazy that Umbanda place that I went. I just feel good, you know? Like I feel protected, you know? I feel like I could stay home doing nothing, and I would be feeling amazing either way. Hahaha. But I know that I cannot rest on my laurels. Like those low vibrational thoughts and emotions curse through my body and then they leave with no resistance from my part. This week I will probably go to a Osho Active Meditation class. Curious to see how that goes. I am also thinking about my next 21-day challenge. I feel in love with the 3-minute affirmation I am doing. So I might continue with that. Don't know... Some ideas include > Waking up at 4:30 AM > Completing a 5-thing to-do list > 10 minutes of pranayamic breathing (btw - I want to write a complete forum topic about this fascinating technique) One thing I want to do also is to fucking watch Leo's video. I get sloppy and I don't watch the fucking thing. I know that he is talking about very advanced shit, which I might not understand right now, so I will just trust him and allow those teachings to be heard by my subconscious mind. FULL FORCE STRIKE! Hahaha, this journal is a mess. I have changed so much since I started it... I kind of feel shy from those early posts hahaha... For some reason, I had gotten REALLY ATTACHED to the idea of "God" as something separate from me. This duality realtionship with God gives a sense of relief and hope in a way, but you start picking up some stupid beliefs. So... I am God. And God is me. But God is much greater than me. It will always be this case. I am just a character here, and I decide to play it well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Notes I had while I was talking to an Awakened friend. So I got this friend who has gone a massive spontaneous Samadhi for 15-fucking-days. Just by being in his presence, I feel more higher consciousness. He is a diligent meditator for over 10 years. One thing that I notice is how much tension I hold in jaw. It is crazy! I mean not only my jaw, but also all my chest area. He is like an angel. Why? Because he has the solutions to all my "problems". He knows all about chakras, meditation, and voice. All of these is what I need. He unconsciously holds the answer. So as everybody else. But in his case, it is more intense because I can really relate to what he is talking about. So here are the !!! insights !!!: I am afraid of chaos > I try to escape from it instead of confronting it in a mature way. > one thing that came to mind is to increase my resilience muscle. but sometimes it is really necessary to just stop, breathe, and relax. [with your mouth shut and using as little effort as you can]. > fear of going through immense and permanent pain. this becomes evident when I have a sore throat that is caused due to inadequate speaking (i use my throat too much when I am talking). so, to solve this shit, my friend told me to speak with a pen in-between my teeth and also to stick my tongue in and out 25 times everyday. However......... I WILL NOT COMMIT TO THIS PRACTICE NOW. I have set the intention of "i will do it whenever I remember it, and IF I haven't done it during the day." Why did I say that?? Simple: My ego loves to create excuses to be unhappy and unsatisfied with the present fucking moment. Seriously, no matter what I am doing, here comes the critic mind. So, to turn it off, I am doing things that might be a mistake in a conscious way. I have just realized that I am pretty fucking high conscious already, but the problem is: I am too fearful. Therefore, I am allowing myself to make mistakes, go through the pain, and eventually seek help. So, in other words, this friend is helping me out alleviate my sore throat and I am learning how to speak correctly. Unnattentive when my ego becomes uninterested in some subject, it automatically shuts off my attention. seriously, i stop listening. and, now that I have become more confident, I am able to manipulate the conversation into going to another direction without the person noticing. It is really weird to see that happening. Some months ago, when I had a burst of confidence for the first time since I began acting like a Social Anxiety type of person, my attitude towards being bored with what someone was talking about was very simple: I would diverge the person's attention by pointing out to something of the external world. So, for example, if I were talking with you on the street and I was freaking bored out of my mind from what you were talking about, I would say something like, "Oh...! Look at that beautiful tree!" When in an ego backlash, minimize the damage Pretty obvious, huh? But seriously dude, you have no idea how much your ego can backfire on you. So watch out and enjoy the moments of opening that you have. Everything is here to help This is a belief I want to instill in me. I am already doing it, actually. The idea is simple: this is a conscious confirmation bias. Because I have a negative bias towards myself, I am applying force the other way around. Hahaha! Thanks for teaching me about how to hack the system , Leo! You are too nice? Act like an asshole. You are too rigid? Act like a lazy-ass pot smoker. You are too relax? Be more rigid like a executive. This way, you will explore contrasts, which is a super important aspect to finding the Gold way the devil lives in your jaw social anxiety contributes to tension in the jaws. seriously, my biggest inner demon is social anxiety. it is the fear, the guilt, the anger... that is what the Devil really is. It is the unconscious behaviors I don't even see happening. It is the unconsciousness. It is me. Play the roles REALLY. Like immerse yourself COMPLETELY IN THEM. And BAM! There lies the second stage of Awakening. This is a response I thought of for a question on a YT's question. He asked something like, "Oh... what happens after I know the One in All? It is very easy to get dettached from your roles, but actually when you dive deep into them and is not scared by any character of your play, BAM!!!!!!!!!! We hit the next stage. So it is more a matter of becoming more peaceful in the midst of shit. Not running away from shit, but to actually embrace what is coming to your field. B3C0M3 an 1NSTRU3M3NT 0F TH3 D1V1N3 How? By invoking My Name. Then, your main character to YOURS3LF will become G0D. Nobody is supposed to understand you. Just be super kind to others and really yourself, and BAM! That's as much as you can help anybody. This is your experience. Nobody else knows that you are here. So just invoke my fucking name, for crying out loud. This is God. Just say that when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Prayer: 1- GOD, USE ME TODAY! [IN THE M0RN1NG] 2- GOD, THANK YOU FOR USING ME TODAY! [AT N1GHT] This is a letter I -- as God -- wrote to myself. I felt like I received this from the Cosmos. Seriously, just by setting this intention two times a day is enough for the divine to shine through every possible aspect of your life and make life beautiful and pleasant once again. All it takes is 3 seconds of sincere, sorry for this word, faith. Faith in what? In a superior being, in all the perfect attributes of a being (Hello, Jesus? :P) Anyway, all religion is pointing to the same direction. So in this prayer, I "invoked" God, which really is an element of my subconscious mind, and I simply said to myself what I need the most in the moment. It is as simple as it can be. There is nothing to figure out. Just Call My Name. [credits to Matt Kahn] Listen 3 seconds more I often get socially anxious. When I externalize the anxiety, it becomes very annoying to everyone around me. Because I simply stop listening However, if I am able to increase the time that I listen for 3 more seconds, there lies the answer to my question. Who generates this whirldwind of questions? The anxious mind. It is as if I needed to participate in everything 100%. No, no, no. Just sit down and listen to others. Let your body go crazy. If you feel the authentic need to stop the person, do it. But avoid that. Only do it if you are about to explode Hahaha. Old signatures: I am going to update my signature. But I want to record them here. So this is the one that I had "Master the art of Half-Assing The problem is not your sins. The problem is that you care too much. Decide to be happy [content] with the present fucking moment."

That sounds like a huge change, but in the end there doesn't seem to be another opportunity. Honestly, I already considered going to a monastery or so. I believe in the energy of the presence of those people. In one week, I start studying industrial engineering, but I consider myself incapable of integrating, my reality is clouded. I cant even imagine learning because I am really blank most of the day. I've worked in a really boring job since August which was supposed to distract me, but after 8 weeks it left me much worse than before. Man before all this mental sh*t in February, I dreamt of studying, I looked foward to a bright future. But all I want now is definitely not the future. It would tear me down if I failed studying. But I've always been a massive worrier, therefore I considered DPDR to be my awakening. But I am still dwelling on this, on my inner voice that wants me destroyed since August and I dont know why. All I did was dwelling very much on the suicide of Chester Bennington and before I've always wanted to be cured BEFORE August, but it didnt happen and that was another thing which threw me off the track. I asked one, lets say awakened and very aware Dude who helped me through my anxiety times, and he told me that it isnt important to know, that I should let silence answer my worries. All I can focus on the whole day, whether it is during work or at home, is the inner mess, which distorts my perception of the past and the future. Sometimes I feel guilty, because I cant appreciate my life as I actually should. There are millions of other teens that would give everything for the life I'm living. One of the few things that keeps me alive is the appreciation, that my town isnt bombed 24/7, that I actually have everything, food etc.. what other people dream of. I also hate self-pitying and that I do it so often. But that all doesn't change much regarding my mental state. Whilst meditating I notice myself automatically believing those thoughts like "I shouldnt be here anymore". But how can I "disbelieve" thoughts that are already deeply embedded and believed? Does anyone have experiences with "the art of living happiness" program? Or more exactly Sudarshan Kriya? I think that would be a first step.

That's the point nobody from that awakened perspective anymore but right now that idea just does not seem right to me because at least now my ego stops me to do bad things like that. What if after awakening when nothing stops you anymore you actually do more of these evil stuff?

At some point, perhaps, if you want to. But Look at near death experiences and how people experience the bliss of subtle realms. Look at ego death. Look at natural life. Only emotionally suppressed humans experience the greatest deal of suffering. AND STILL life is generally experienced as beautiful here for a large part. And this is just one phase in our evolution as a species. And awakened beings speak about how much better life is, so much grander than the best unawake moments. So trust yourself, trust life, you know you are good at heart. And can you honestly say life hasn't been beautiful for you too? I hope you may find this as useful as I find it, it's epic

21 is too low imo. Probably there are teachers today where hundreds of people got awakened with.

@Amit There's a huge problem revolving around the use of the word god. Even spiritual teachers attempt to use it less and less now because of the huge illusion it creates. When the vast majority of people think of 'god' they mainly think of a male idol that should be worshiped and is watching is from above the clouds. But this causes leads us further away from the path of spirituality as it creates a egoistic illusion of god and makes us believe that we can never be something like that, and he will always be superior to us mere mortals. And so we should have the obligation to worship him. Which is why the beauty of most religions has been lost, as they too were a pathway to enlightenment. But, if you are heading down the spiritual path you will find that god is your inner Buddha (known as your awakened-self is god). However, what you will find when you look into this more is that more information is contradictory and paradoxical, due to the culture and tradition influencing our minds decisions. So, to put it simply find it out yourself by meditating daily, because god can be understood partially at a conceptual level. But, not fully understood unless it has been experienced by the deep rooted truth that lies within us all. Good luck! Knowing what god is regardless of what you currently think.

So, it finally clicked for me. The fact that we are all the same energy, like apples that fall from the same tree. Everything in nature is this same energy too, at varied levels of consciousness. I was awakened to the fact that my body is basically just a machine, like Leo has said in his videos. For a long time, I had believed this was possibly true but never really felt or experienced it. I feel like this insight is huge and I am blown away by how much better I have felt for the past 2 days. Just months ago, I was in so much psychological pain I was putting a gun up to my head and turning the safety on and off, desperate to escape and feeling so confused. I feel like I’ve had glimpse of what it’s like to be truly happy, so what I fear now is losing this insight. I don’t want to go back to the way I was. I want to keep seeing myself in everyone, I love it. I believe some of the people on this forum must have had an experience like this. What did you do after this realization? How should I continue from here?

@Preetom The person who started this topic made some very solid points about kundalini as well. ignore all the advaita petty fights there, there is some good info. Another 2 people who educate about kundalini are Jan Esman (hope I spelled it right) and Rali -naked reality (only in the past months or so though, when his kundalini awakened.) Another thing worth mentioning is usually kundalini is activated After self-realization occurs. Your (and my case) is truly rather unusual, but it does happen.

@Preetom sounds like kundalini indeed. Dont be mistaken active kundalini doesnt mean instant enlightenment. What kundalini does is that it deconstructs one's stuck nervous system, that creates an egoic perception of reality. This can take years (and will). Treat it with respect and love, be kind to yourself, I recommend Matt Kahn, all of his stuff is brilliant for a person with awakened kundalini. Some breathwork is useful at times, but only at certain phases. You must go with what resonates. Be ready to take a bunch of naps, go on eating streaks and insomnia. All of your cellular memory that stores trauma will surface eventually. This is no joke, it is hell! It is the dark night of the soul. And I cannot emohasize this more. Be kind to yourself my dearest friend. I wish you courage on your journey of transformation. And know that any kind of discomfort is only here to remind you how strong you are, by showing you what youre capable of surviving. Feel free to educate yourself on kundalini, beware of a lot of nonsense. Apply only relevant stuff that works well with your direct experience. Much love, and welcome on your journey home :). May you be blessed with good fortune.

There generally is a difference between kundalini happening (1 time thing), and awakening, which is constant energy movement all-day, every-day, supposedly peaking in GOD-consciousness. When kundalini awakened in me, I just thought it was normal for everyone who meditates ?. Thanks for the answer, it looks like it just depends on the individual no matter the catalyst.