Search the Community

I don't know if this is against forum guidelines, but I need help. I can't hang myself and need a good idea for how to die. Please help. I should and I simply need to. My life cannot work anymore. I lost everything and am not in circumstances that allow me to be mentally healthy. All ways for how to do that are gone.

To children you tell necessary fiction so they mature and grow and only when they are mature enough you tell certain truths depending on the age and depending on the truth that needs to be delivered. God and his children (humanity) are no different. Christianity is necessary fiction for humanity to evolve and only when it reaches a certain maturation in the spiral dynamics it can be exposed to the naked truth. Just imagine your teachings becoming mainstream and pre-teens or teens using 5 MeO on massive scale. The amount of people committing suicide would be staggering if you extrapolate the amount of people who already committed suicide or going apeshit like that youtube fitness guy. Most people go to religion because they have problems. Giving 5 MeO to them is like putting a fire cracker in their ears. You are not doing God's work here. People like Jordan Peterson do God's work by keeping people alive and giving them meaning to fight to good fight. And after they healed themselves they could possible move to a higher truth. I hope you and Jordan Peterson should do a podcast together. It would be a blast to see. But probably you won't. And you should contemplate why.

Thought about that as well at some point. Its a calculated decision. It depends on the type of war, how much value I would likely create for the world when I would flee, how fit and psychologically stable I am for war compared to others, my personality type and how much I could support my country without fighting. You gotta be realistic, going to war is like suicide. You either die or you get at least a shit ton of trauma that you take with you for the rest of your life.

I am a Bachelor's graduate, studied psychology. Now i am struggling with my relationships with my family. They are total opposite from my philosophy and lifestyle. I leave my family and my hometown and now i am staying in Dubai. But here now i found that there is not a great scope of medical field especially psychology. Now i am struggling also feeling depressed. Cause i don't wanna go back to that home. Also if anybody is here from dubai. Contact me please to help me finding a job. My phone no: +917558159692 Also i spend a big amount on my visit to here. Now i am trapped here. I also applied for some odd jobs but not get even one response. I don't know what to do now?

I lately wrote the topic " I woke to the GOD. Death is the only whey to forget?' (sorry for my English, i'm not a native speaker) Thank you so much for all your help there, and also i want to send all the love to : @Kksd74628 @Godishere @Tim R They helped me on priv, so much!! i don't know what would i do, without them. Background: i've had spiritual experience for over 2-3 years, 16-17 trips, (lsd,shrooms,dmt). I mediate every day, lately for 2h a day. Also, I've had some retreats, on which it was 7-8h meditation daily. Almost every tip, till last, was pretty easy, some were challenging, but overall it was rather calm. I've experienced pure nothingness, no-dual states, i've seen my reflection in face on my girlfriend, i had God experience on DMT, when everything and everyone dispreaded, there was no time, only infinity etc. It was all ok. Dosage: 3 days ago, i took 250 uq LSD. I had one trip on 400uq, and it was nothing like that. Trip: After 1h i went to the God state. To the point, I exactly saw God everywhere. The floor was made of God, air was pure God, walls were God, which obviously is all me. I knew that, there was no going back, cause even if i go to the hospital, i can't meet anyone other than God, which is me. If I take some pills, it's going to be only self-deception to forget. I was deceiving my-self all the time, that i'm not God, it was obvious to me. it was all fine, i knew it was the case. But then i went to the bedroom, to talk with my girlfriend, she took LSD too. She was in GOD-state as well. She told me, that "I'm God" i don't why, but i felt like God, which is me, perfectly designed every aspect of my life, from birth, to this moment, and now, it's speaking to me, by the mouth of my girlfriend. I sat down on the bed, to look outside the window.... and all the people in the next building were gone. All the lights in their flats went down. I said "what? Am i really GOD?" there's no-one else? , she said, "yes". Then all the buildings collapsed into me. Weather started to change pretty rapid. Time stopped. Out of my pure imagination. I was 100% sure, that my-small-self died, and i'm out of the dream and i can't go back. There was only face of my girlfriend left. So i said, " really? i was God all my life? i'm dead now?" And then something happened, which shocked me to the core. That was the moment i felt like i want to go back, and forget. That was the moment i regret that i was even alive. The horror: i looked at my girlfriend eyes. It was all sparky with life as always, but suddenly it was gone. I was looking to the dead eyes, completely without a life. The woman i love, was not only dead, but she was empty and shallow. Dark. Void. She was like a withered flower. Like empty costume. It was the most horrifying things i saw in all my life. I was all alone, staring into the empty void of my girlfriend's eyes. Every fucking horror is a joke compare to that. With tears i asked " are you there?" and then i saw like life is going back to her. Her eyes went sparky again. But at that point, all the solipsism horror was unbearable. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted only cease to exist. I don't want to live with knowledge like that. I don't want to be alive with costume-people. It was pure-fuckig-madness-hell. My post on forum: At this moment I tried to write a post here, on the forum. But i knew, i couldn't get any advice from no one, because even actualize.com and Leo Gura is pure fucking imagination, only to cheat me into thinking, that there are others. I'm here, alone, trapped in this empty-shallow-world, to the infinity. It's Only me. I can't die, i can't escape. I wrote every music there is, i wrote every book, it was always only me!! fuck! i wanted to know infinity, and it turned out to be fucking back-mirror-hell. I wrote this post anyway, but i knew, i was talking only to my-self, and my infinite imagination. After the trip: Next 48h i couldn't sleep. I was crying, and shacking on the floor. I couldn't eat. I wanted only to die, and forget. Right now: People on this forum helped me with going through this. Today, after 6-7h of sleep, i'm back to the "old-self" and i don't see imagination and God everywhere. Thank God! Any idea what went wrong, and how do i integrate this? You guys said God-realization it's all about love, and i got fucking horror X1000 to the infinity. Thank you, for all your support. Personally, i think my "ego" still corrupts this forum solipsism, and i feel it through an illusion of separated self. But i don't know.

To be honest, there is a lot of misconception about kids and sexual identity. I have worked with such children in training, and a lot of the misconception is based upon ignorance. Yes there are some children who question their sexual identity where it is a symptom of something else. Many of them grow out of it. Health personell rarely addresses it, but in some instances, where the feeling of incongruence between for example body and sexual identity is so extreme that the child is capable of comitting suicide, then they are acting upon it. Only the worst parents arent capable of accepting it. This stuff is real. Like racism, you need to get exposed to what you are ignorant to.

Because you've yet again perfectly articulated the harsh reality of the world that the rest of the world hides from you and themselves. I've been coping by saying to myself that it'll all be good in the end and I will find someone, but through your words I now realize I will most likely never. Even if I get through the bottleneck of healing my brain fog, libido-surpressing panic and anxiety, dysarhtria/apraxia of speech, inflammation and extreme stiffness of neck and mouth, which is a far fucking stretch to begin with, I will still be in a situation where dating is hell simply because I'm not chad, although I'm not ugly either. Since even those starting conditions will probably never be met it's time I face reality like you do, cutting all the fantasies and seeing my situation as it is: I'll be forever alone. Hell, even maintaining a job and communication on the job will be of the utmost difficulty. Even though I have a relatively high IQ and am learning CS and other subjects while at home, and becoming quite advanced at it, in my mind preparing for a life in the future, I've come to the realization that none of those skills matter if you can't communicate and socialize with actual people to work on a job, let alone find a girlfriend or wife. The loneliness, sexlessness, and the physical and mental disability are just becoming too much to bear after 25 years. I've always had hope but now I realize it's just a fantasy I've been holding on to to cope. I'm getting tears in my eyes writing this, since women are truly the most beautiful thing in the world, not only physically but also mentally, and the one time I kissed a girl in high school was literally the best moment of my life. After hs it all fell apart. The only hope I have left is that my symptoms are psychosomatic or somehow caused by spirits or something. Over the last two years, when my symptoms have worsened to the degree I couldn't keep my job and studies, I have had like 10 days where somehow all my energy returned and I could talk normally again, and somehow all my symptoms dissipated, felt great in my body and mind, and I called my friends and had a great time. But the next day that would be all over again, to my disappointment and despair. Since doctors have not been able to find anything it's my only hope to go to some Teal Swan method or some cooky spirit healers. I have suffered sexual abuse in my youth, but it wasn't that bad (not rape) , and in the years after it I didn't have the symptoms I have now that have developed over the last years, so I doubt my symptoms are psychosomatic because of the abuse trauma. Although I don't have much faith in it, I'm still going to try my best. But if everything fails I don't see what I should do in my life. A part of me just wants to murder me for having dissapointed the young buck in me, never having had sex except with a prostitute and now not even be able to do so, and not have related to women and falling behind in life, not having had relationships and real conversations with women. I'm horny all the time which makes it absolutely unbearable to an almost spiritual degree, like rattling a cage from the inside. I've turned to religious ideas to try to find a raison d'etre in some ascetic manner but I don't really see it happening if all that buddhism and sufism stuff is fake anyway and i'm just imagining reality and thats it. Thinking about starving kids etc makes it easier to still feel thankful for my life. But it's just the lovelessness and sexlessness, and absolute lack of female company that just strains me so much, to the point I often don't feel human anymore. Maybe what I will do in the end, is just living ascetically, wandering the world for Truth and taking in the beauty of Gods creation. But I'm afraid I will always feel unworthy in the darwinistic sense, unworthy of human love and far removed from it. and that fear and hate makes me want to kill myself. I no longer really fear hell, although that fear kept me from pursuing suicide in the last few years, I realize it's all based on imagined dogma and dharma by prophets and yogis, who built a moral system for society, but I have absolutely no reason to believe them about the afterlife whatsoever. Although I have an intuition suicide will lead to hell, it's probably just human survival bullshit concocted by the mind. All I really know is that consciousness is immortal, for that is something I have witnessed myself. I'm just going to go on and try everything till I absolutely can't bear it anymore, but I won't delude myself with fantasies anymore, even when those fantasies kept me from ending it all. Thanks for everything Leo.

What would happen is Trump will launch the national guard as soon as he can and hammer you into submission and then crown himself national hero. It would embolden Trump to smear democrats even further and contribute to undercuting democratic processes. Political suicide is not going to solve the problem. People have to suffer the consequences of their immature voting practices through mass inflation and hollowing of social services and democracy for them to learn. I know it's frustrating because just how stupid it all is. It should be obvious how bad Trump is politically.

Yeah, that's a good point. You could build a good case for both. There's a lot of compelling evidence that points in the opposite direction if you want to look into it. It's all circumstantial from what I've seen, but when you add it all up, it's not easy to dismiss. Also, "puppet" doesn't necessarily mean 100% controlled. It could just mean 25% or 50% controlled or it could mean "in cahoots" or colluding with. So "puppet" isn't the best term. I was just using Lyubov's term. Collusion for power/material gain would be more likely but it's also possible Putin has some dirt or leverage on Trump, which could explain a narcissist taking orders from someone else. Russia is big into spying. Think of the weak security around Trump's properties, especially from the 70s to 2000s. Maybe they recorded Trump fucking a kid and are blackmailing him with it. That might get a narcissist to do your bidding, especially if you promise him unfathomable riches. Remember, when Trump was asked by reporters if he'd release the JFK information, he said absolutely. Then was asked if he'd release the information of some other big thing, and he said absolutely. Right after those two questions, he was asked if he'd release the Epstein files and he said "that I'm not sure about, I probably would". Also, Epstein passed away from "suicide" when the cameras just so happened to be off. It's not outside the realm of possibility that the Russians have dirt on Trump. Again, I'm not saying they do, I'm just saying they might.

The press conference started fairly well. Trump praised Ukraine and Zelensky, he wanted the deal signed. Before the discussion started, the least diplomatic thing Trump said was that it was difficult because Zelensky hates Putin and vice versa, which is true. Zelensky was willing to sign the deal, too. At some point, when he lists the presidents, he tells him, "Thank God you were elected again." But they are two big egos incapable of diplomacy. We all know that's true for Trump. It's also true for Zelensky, who has had ovations, hero treatment, and zero challenges of his positions from Western leaders and the media for three years. He rejected any possibility of a diplomatic route with Russia, which was what Trump and Vance were proposing, and he did it in front of the press. His side of the story is the only valid one and he won't accept anything out of that narrative. But Russia's side has many valid points too, the way CIA, NATO, and Ukraine's most nationalists have been messing the situation, including Trump's Javelin missiles. Merkel, who Zelensky cites as witness of Russia's deceptions, admitted that the Minsk Accords were a mere tactic to give Ukraine time to arm itself. But Zelensky doesn't want talk, he wants war, his problem is he can't win it. Any future deal proposal from Russia will be worse than today. Russia will pay a price of continuing the war with blood, both sides will, but Russia will charge that price with more land in the end. Trump was right in questioning the idea that Russia will become a menace to the peace of the USA. Russia can't militarily take, and even less maintain, much more than it has in its vicinity. But it can with Eastern Ukraine, who are culturally Russian in a big part already, and they justify what they are doing as a way to defend these people, and it's not totally out of reason. For now, it's good the mineral deal didn't take off, but Zelensky was willing to go with it, so it's still a menace for Ukraine to lose its economic control and resources. The deal was giving the US half of the revenues obtained from the Ukrainian minerals, and control over the expenditure of the other half, getting good contracts for themselves, the US contractors, obviously. It's pure economic colonialism, at this point they should even consider if Putin is willing to offer a better deal for Western Ukraine, because that was economic suicide. By the way, this deal didn't mean the end of the war by any means, it had nothing to do with Russia. The war continues, Russia is grabbing more land each day, and it's only going to get worse. So what Trump said that he was handing Ukraine a good card was absolutely false.

Europe has been dwelling in a self-imposed strategic twilight for decades. When you outsource your vigilance to an empire's pitbull for generations, your geopolitical vision atrophies like an unused muscle. The continent that once possessed the sharpest strategic minds has willingly developed diplomatic glaucoma, content to let America scan the horizon while they focused on internal bureaucratic minutiae. This dependency didn't happen by accident. It was cultivated, nurtured, and enforced through a complex system of carrots and sticks – NATO bases, financial entanglements, intelligence sharing that was really intelligence capturing. The arrangement suited the empire perfectly: Europe remained comfortably blind while their resources were redirected, their industries captured, and their sovereignty quietly hollowed out. Europe's strategic myopia is now so advanced that they can't distinguish between their own interests and Washington's commands. They've forgotten how to assess threats independently, how to engage with neighbors directly, how to calculate the true cost of following imperial directives. They've traded their binoculars for a blindfold and called it security. It's time for Europe to reclaim its sight – to dust off those spectacles that have been gathering cobwebs since the end of the Cold War. The continent needs to rediscover its capacity for independent strategic thinking, for seeing beyond the narrow frame the empire has provided. The alternative is continued blindness while being led toward conflicts that serve another's interests. The carrots that once seemed so appealing have revealed themselves as the most expensive meal in history. Meanwhile, the stick is no longer just looming – it's firmly pressed against European backs, driving them toward economic suicide and unnecessary confrontation with their neighbors. True vision requires the courage to open eyes that have grown comfortable in darkness. It requires the willingness to see uncomfortable truths: that treating your largest energy supplier and natural trading partner as an existential enemy might not be the strategic masterstroke it was sold as. That perhaps the greatest threat to European prosperity and security wasn't coming from the East after all. Europe must rebuild its atrophied strategic vision before it's marched blindly into one last, final abyss from which there is no return – all while believing they're walking toward the light.

Ffs this is such a closeminded but expected take, to say that if someone is ethnocentrist it must mean they can't identify with more than just their own people is too black & white (no pun intended), i am ethnocentric and a white nationalist (if i was any other race i would be a nationalist for that race too, it's not about identfying with a race for the sake of race, it's for the sake of not having your race wiped off the face of earth) and at the same time i am aware at all times that this is my dream that i'm constructing in this moment as God where everything is a figment of my Godly imagination including people of different races meaning that ultimately everything is one and there is no duality, but despite all of this there is still duality in maya and as long as i'm dreaming this dream it's absolutely healthy to want to have your race of people to stay alive on the planet, it's basic survival 101 and survival is a healthy thing, what you're subtly proposing by calling ethnocentrism "level of cognitive identificiation" is suicide, which you show in a more direct manner at the end of your post by calling me racist for caring about the survival of my race within the dream. Sure, Kanye considers himself superior to many people but that's more from an egoic point of view, Kanye doesn't see any race or group of people superior to another, which is what you implemented by saying he thinks he's superior to jews because he sees something wrong with them. Kanye is not a nazi, all the nazi stuff that he does is just an intentional response to supression of all the nazi things, this happens with every supressed thing in the world, if things like nazis, swastikas, Hitler, talking about the jews weren't supressed topics he wouldn't see a need to put resistence to that supression which is what he's doing, him making a swastika shirt and saying i love hitler is him giving a big fuck you to the overall supression, that's mostly done by the jews in the media (which also proves his point about jews being overpowered in the media and all jew releated things like the Holocaust and Isreal being "greatest ally" being the most pushed topics by that same media in comparison to all the other topics within those categories). The example i gave you of jews seeing themselves as superior to others is directly releated to you saying Kanye sees himself as superior to jews, i gave you the reverse example and it actually made more sense because it has an entire religion backing it instead of an ego of a famous rapper. And in that last sentence of course you have to use the overused racism card in big 2025 because someone thinks one of the races of planet earth actually shouldn't cease to exist, there is nothing wrong with being protective of your own race, if i was black i would be a black nationalist, it's not about race, it's about not being suicial and instead wanting to keep existing, it's literally that simple and blatant. And you're the one talking about "contamination", i don't use that word so stop putting it in my mouth. And also your main point wasn't about me but about people in power, i'm not a person in power so that still doesn't explain the claim that there are white nationalists in positions in power, as i have said there are people in power who have talked the white nationalist talk but didn't walk the white nationalist walk, it's been this way since the 40s.

@VeganAwake I recognize I am extremely lucky. Not many make it this far. I ve seen people die by suicide because of this. Serious mental illness and substance abuse is not something you can just joke around with. I am lucky because I have been able to help others. But people relapse and die because of such comments. Why not better search for Truth? The Devil is a Liar. God is Honesty, Truth. It is that simple.

I think Kindness is one of the fundamentals to living The Good Life. But what is Kindness? What is Service? I think it is understanding and attending the Anger that the Other has against you and solving it, as illustrated by the above verse from The Sermon of The Mount. you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you "CLEAN THE FLOOR, you made an awful mess." Yes Ma'am. "Do 100 Push Ups NOW" Okay, Godfather. "Do the laundry CORRECTLY" Yes. "Do it again, YOU MESSED UP". Okay. "AGAIN!" Okay. I think it is not about solving my own anger, but other people's. I think that is the essence of service and abnegation and a route to enlightenment. After doing that, others will smile and you will sow Peace. In a clinic where people have commited suicide, this attitude can save their lives, and your own. I think this is part of Christ's message.

Is governmental assisted suicide just another form of the death penalty?

It objectifies people, the worst should be life in prison or exile, with the option of assisted suicide, if human life is sacred then human life is sacred.

Sounds like typical Christian rehab law. Suppress and repress instead of express on a healthy way. Did they commit suicide and went crazy because they expressed their anger in destructive ways, or because they suppressed it until it became unbearable?

@Aaron p @Leo Gura A drug rehab center in Mexico can be a place with A LOT of anger. Ive seen two commit suicide because of this, many relapse and many simply go crazy. I've observed my anger and I can see it come and go. But working with other addicts can be very challenging. One day a 50 year old woman asked: Why, after working with dolphins, art, group therapy, psychiatrists, many clinics, why has nothing improved? Because of RESENTMENT, I yelled and her eyes opened a bit, the owner of the clinic noticed this. So, I think there is something profound about Hate, Resentment and, Anger that creates a Duality between Self and Other and that somehow must be resolved. When I saw the Kingdom, I found a word - Conflict, which I have not yet resolved. What is Conflict? I will research and practice Sedona Method, thank you

Firstly, eventually, of course we will have to evolve to showing kindness towards especially mass murderers. Not in some sort of naive way, as you here suggest as a dunk of stage green naivety, but a genuine, structured compassion that maintains society while also allowing us to grow. Many mass murderers were traumatized, mentally ill, abused. If you do not have compassion, you will never get rid of this phenomena, because if you cannot recognize their humanity you will never even attempt to find a way to prevent them from becoming what they became. What even is the point of the killing? Again, the death penality has not shown to have any effect on criminality, nor on mass-murders. Mass murders happen in a context that will be completely removed from any impact the death penalty could have. Most of these people do it with the expectation of suicide or death anyways. And of course it's cruel, the death penalty is a severe form of psychological torture. Just read up on the torment it inflicts on individuals. And again, you completely avoid the necessary cost that will come with such laws, which is innocent people getting killed by the state. If you think that is avoidable, you don't understand the justice system. And again, to what end? What is the point of the death penality. To discourage mass murderers? How naive of a world view can you have if you think a mass murderer would think to themselves "Oh no, I better not kill a bunch of people because they have the death penalty on this". That's just an absurd picture, if you are committing such a crime there won't be any thoughts of the consequences. Yes, it does contradict kindness and love, it obviously does.

You and @puporing and most other leftists are just too stuck in victim mindset to take action on these changes and empower your lives and thus gain enough knowledge through doing it to see that it's going the right way. You're basically like people criticizing CEOs for being overpaid while never having started a business and not understanding the difference between commodity labor and executive skillset. I don't think we can come to an understanding but Purporing just proved my point that he's so clueless about how to impact the world that he would resort to suicide if the situation became worse. Reflect on the fact that you're a human and that humans are the most powerful creatures on earth. And that now you have AI and literally decentralized finance meaning that you could litereally take over Trump yourselves if you wanted to. TELL ME LITERALLY WHAT IS TO STOP YOU??? Your weak mindsets disgusts me honestly. Go back to spiral dynamics and integrate some Stage Red. You're not a hamster nor a victim nor a powerful man you're literally an infinitely powerful God that fooled himself thinking he's a powerless victim. Beta male energy. Get a grip.

Like if I sit at a beautiful tropical beach and meditate myself to death will that be the same as shooting myself in the head? honestly life on earth Is made for animals I don’t belong here lol. I just can’t handle I gotta do this properly if I’ll do it this is like my 10th post about suicide, sorry if it’s getting too repetitive. I’m just really trying to decide here

@VeganAwake If meaning is an illusion, why do firefighters rush into burning buildings, doctors risk their lives in war zones, and parents shield their children at their own expense? Why did Schindler save Jews, Beethoven compose deaf, or Van Gogh paint through despair? If survival is the only motive, why do people sacrifice for something greater? If insight has no impact, why do addicts recover, ex-criminals transform, and therapy prevent suicide? Why does purpose pull people from depression? If nothing matters, why prefer food over poison, justice over false imprisonment, or a skilled surgeon over a blindfolded one? If direction is fake, should pilots ignore altitude? If morality is a construct, should we comfort abusers instead of victims? Even animals protect their young, are they hallucinating meaning too? Evolution itself favors meaning-seekers; if value were false, why does it increase survival? If nothing matters, why engage at all? The moment you reply, you validate discussion. The second you reject injustice, you assign meaning. And if this “isn’t a mental health forum,” why does it bother you if people seek understanding? If nothing matters, why care where they go? Reality won’t let you live your philosophy. The illusion isn’t meaning, it’s pretending you don’t need it.

As unstable as Trump is, as soon as prices start going up in the u.s. he will obviously cancel the tariffs. The threatened countries shouldn't flinch, Trump is a political suicide bomber with tariffs, he'll blow himself up. This is a legal way for foreign nations to have influence on U.S. politics.

Recent podcast interviewing Adeptus Psychonautica about the dangers and traps within the spiritual/psychedelic community and the recent developments of actualized.org and the forum. What's really interesting is the host OXSN has his own intimate experience following Leo Gura and even initially defended him when Adeptus made an expose on the Connor Murphy incident. Watch how his journey and close friend's suicide sobered him from his own paradigm and ideology (the details of the suicide were vague as he didn't wish to disclose much; what's revealed is that OXSN did expose his friend to spiritual teachings including those of actualized.org before he ultimately took his own life) Some interesting points within the video: 34:09 "The example I use is like, if you saw a bee, like a buzzy bee but it was not trying to be a bee. It was trying to be a fucking elephant. It would be like 'you fucking bellend', just be a bee, just eat the pollen. Enjoy your life as a bee! Don't pretend to be an elephant, you cannot be an elephant, you're a bee. Be the fucking bee. That's how I feel when I hear all these like, you know, the people who get really obsessed with all the God-Consciousness. And that's not to say there's no value in those thoughts, but the value has got to compile back into a human being. To sit there and go floating about like 'oh, I'm so enlightened, I'm so God-Consciousness' is like, it serves no purpose other than to be like a wanker. But if you could embody that, if you could live your life like, when you come across someone who is like truly spiritual and truly a good person, a true role model: they don't have to tell you how fucking enlightened they are. They don't tell you what a good person they are and how better they because they achieved God-Consciousness. You just know like 'wow, this is a great person'. They don't need to tell you this. So all these people who like beat you over the head with how fucking spiritual they are, I could only assume they don't realize how fucking conterproductive that looks. Because I don't see anything spiritual with, like we say with the sort of 'the Leo Guras' of the world." 50:40 "I've got say, if there's one thing, out of all of Leo's flaws, the one thing I'll pull up on: the guy has like zero compassion and he's so detached from his own experience of a human being that, in my opinion, he doesn't seem to realize the effect he's having on these group of people. So that when he comes out with something really flippant on the forums, or- I'm sure he seems to handle things in his way, and not necessarily had something that's led to what's happened to your friend, but he's answering things in his way with zero understanding and like 'no, these might be people in trouble'. When I've been on the actualized forums, it is an absolute meeting room with very, very definite and very obvious mental issues. There's some serious fucking problems on that forum, and some of the moderators should not be moderating fucking dogshit, in my opinion. But they're all egging each other on and, one of the best descriptions I've ever heard for the kind of behaviors on actualized, which came from one of my friends James Jessal: there's a lot in the way where Leo describes his own activities, which feels like a challenge to the audience. Like 'I did all this 5meO-DMT so it got me here so you should do it'. And the guy will say things like 'you shouldn't do this', but it's a challenge. Like 'if you do this then you get to this level of Consciousness' and 'you just don't understand, you just don't understand, unless you've done it, you just don't understand'. So there's this constant challenging of these very vulnerable, very fragile, very destabilized audience; I just see people's fucking heads explode. Alot of people contact me because they want to talk about that experience. Especially the stuff around solipsism, which to me, it's almost hard to understand how people get so destabilized by that, but whether I get or not, at least I understand that people are going through this. Like people believe in this and they don't necessarily want to believe it. They don't want to believe that their loved ones are figments of their imagination 'but Leo's said it's true so must be true!' It could really fuck people's heads up."

Like from the highest perspective am I killing myself? Lol