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That sounds like a huge change, but in the end there doesn't seem to be another opportunity. Honestly, I already considered going to a monastery or so. I believe in the energy of the presence of those people. In one week, I start studying industrial engineering, but I consider myself incapable of integrating, my reality is clouded. I cant even imagine learning because I am really blank most of the day. I've worked in a really boring job since August which was supposed to distract me, but after 8 weeks it left me much worse than before. Man before all this mental sh*t in February, I dreamt of studying, I looked foward to a bright future. But all I want now is definitely not the future. It would tear me down if I failed studying. But I've always been a massive worrier, therefore I considered DPDR to be my awakening. But I am still dwelling on this, on my inner voice that wants me destroyed since August and I dont know why. All I did was dwelling very much on the suicide of Chester Bennington and before I've always wanted to be cured BEFORE August, but it didnt happen and that was another thing which threw me off the track. I asked one, lets say awakened and very aware Dude who helped me through my anxiety times, and he told me that it isnt important to know, that I should let silence answer my worries. All I can focus on the whole day, whether it is during work or at home, is the inner mess, which distorts my perception of the past and the future. Sometimes I feel guilty, because I cant appreciate my life as I actually should. There are millions of other teens that would give everything for the life I'm living. One of the few things that keeps me alive is the appreciation, that my town isnt bombed 24/7, that I actually have everything, food etc.. what other people dream of. I also hate self-pitying and that I do it so often. But that all doesn't change much regarding my mental state. Whilst meditating I notice myself automatically believing those thoughts like "I shouldnt be here anymore". But how can I "disbelieve" thoughts that are already deeply embedded and believed? Does anyone have experiences with "the art of living happiness" program? Or more exactly Sudarshan Kriya? I think that would be a first step.

That's the point nobody from that awakened perspective anymore but right now that idea just does not seem right to me because at least now my ego stops me to do bad things like that. What if after awakening when nothing stops you anymore you actually do more of these evil stuff?

At some point, perhaps, if you want to. But Look at near death experiences and how people experience the bliss of subtle realms. Look at ego death. Look at natural life. Only emotionally suppressed humans experience the greatest deal of suffering. AND STILL life is generally experienced as beautiful here for a large part. And this is just one phase in our evolution as a species. And awakened beings speak about how much better life is, so much grander than the best unawake moments. So trust yourself, trust life, you know you are good at heart. And can you honestly say life hasn't been beautiful for you too? I hope you may find this as useful as I find it, it's epic

So, it finally clicked for me. The fact that we are all the same energy, like apples that fall from the same tree. Everything in nature is this same energy too, at varied levels of consciousness. I was awakened to the fact that my body is basically just a machine, like Leo has said in his videos. For a long time, I had believed this was possibly true but never really felt or experienced it. I feel like this insight is huge and I am blown away by how much better I have felt for the past 2 days. Just months ago, I was in so much psychological pain I was putting a gun up to my head and turning the safety on and off, desperate to escape and feeling so confused. I feel like I’ve had glimpse of what it’s like to be truly happy, so what I fear now is losing this insight. I don’t want to go back to the way I was. I want to keep seeing myself in everyone, I love it. I believe some of the people on this forum must have had an experience like this. What did you do after this realization? How should I continue from here?

21 is too low imo. Probably there are teachers today where hundreds of people got awakened with.

@Amit There's a huge problem revolving around the use of the word god. Even spiritual teachers attempt to use it less and less now because of the huge illusion it creates. When the vast majority of people think of 'god' they mainly think of a male idol that should be worshiped and is watching is from above the clouds. But this causes leads us further away from the path of spirituality as it creates a egoistic illusion of god and makes us believe that we can never be something like that, and he will always be superior to us mere mortals. And so we should have the obligation to worship him. Which is why the beauty of most religions has been lost, as they too were a pathway to enlightenment. But, if you are heading down the spiritual path you will find that god is your inner Buddha (known as your awakened-self is god). However, what you will find when you look into this more is that more information is contradictory and paradoxical, due to the culture and tradition influencing our minds decisions. So, to put it simply find it out yourself by meditating daily, because god can be understood partially at a conceptual level. But, not fully understood unless it has been experienced by the deep rooted truth that lies within us all. Good luck! Knowing what god is regardless of what you currently think.

@Preetom The person who started this topic made some very solid points about kundalini as well. ignore all the advaita petty fights there, there is some good info. Another 2 people who educate about kundalini are Jan Esman (hope I spelled it right) and Rali -naked reality (only in the past months or so though, when his kundalini awakened.) Another thing worth mentioning is usually kundalini is activated After self-realization occurs. Your (and my case) is truly rather unusual, but it does happen.

@Preetom sounds like kundalini indeed. Dont be mistaken active kundalini doesnt mean instant enlightenment. What kundalini does is that it deconstructs one's stuck nervous system, that creates an egoic perception of reality. This can take years (and will). Treat it with respect and love, be kind to yourself, I recommend Matt Kahn, all of his stuff is brilliant for a person with awakened kundalini. Some breathwork is useful at times, but only at certain phases. You must go with what resonates. Be ready to take a bunch of naps, go on eating streaks and insomnia. All of your cellular memory that stores trauma will surface eventually. This is no joke, it is hell! It is the dark night of the soul. And I cannot emohasize this more. Be kind to yourself my dearest friend. I wish you courage on your journey of transformation. And know that any kind of discomfort is only here to remind you how strong you are, by showing you what youre capable of surviving. Feel free to educate yourself on kundalini, beware of a lot of nonsense. Apply only relevant stuff that works well with your direct experience. Much love, and welcome on your journey home :). May you be blessed with good fortune.

Soo, I am just back from my Vancouver vacation. I met @Be Yourself who lives there and he introduced me to the place. Thanks for that again. It was very nice. He got me some of that good BC weed, we had a lot of very deep discussions about the whole journey and we actually tripped on acid together and shared a nice trip. It was very spiritual in many regards. Cheers to you, man. Plus, I went to a concert of one of my favourite rappers who actually inspired me with a song to create this avatar, called Azrael. I'll come back to that city and probably move there in a few years. This trip report - however - is about an experience that I had like a month ago that is by far the deepest I ever went. It took me so long to put this into words because it was so profound that I have actually a hard time thinking about it. Even right now it's kinda hard. When I trip these days I always trip on 5-MeO, doesn't matter which psychedelic I choose. If I do shrooms as I did in this experience, it's 5 hours of 5-MeO combined with shrooms. This brings tripping to a whole new place for me. Because there is a very distinct difference in having a nice and profound experience compared to having a complete dissolution of your normal perspective and going to a different place. I'll talk about that in a second. I think I went to the same place @Leo Gura went in this trip. I've talked to him about that. Of course I can only listen to his description and my trip was very different, but it's like you go to Mars. It doesn't matter what place you visit on Mars, if you hear somebody talking about it you know whether he went there or not if you went there yourself. It feels like that. So I had a very big smile on my face when I listened to the video. You know that shit gets serious when Leo doesn't start with "Hey Leo" no more. But let's go back in time roughly a month ago. I'm in my apartment, currently learning for my exams for over a month now. I'm a little exhausted from that. Also, I got the first harvest from my shrooms grow kit that is fully dry now. I got a golden teacher grow kit for the first time and it brought me some nice, all natural shrooms. So I'm thinking lets try the shrooms. It's in the evening, I weigh 3,5g of the shrooms and cut them into little pieces. Now I know that when I do 3+ grams of shrooms these days where I'm headed. But I didn't expect where it would take me this time. So, I eat the shrooms, drink some orange juice, put on my favourite tripping music mix and lie down on my bed. In the beginning I just chill, relax and wait for it to come up. So I wait. After like 20 minutes I feel that it starts. I get the typical super meditative shrooms vibe. Everything calms down, looks very sharp and nice. The body load comes on quite heavy, so I just try to relax more and get into it. I close my eyes and just breathe. The first thing that happens is that my body feeling slowly goes away. Before my awakening shrooms would always get rid of my tensions. Now I don't have a lot of my tensions in my body any more, but I can still feel it. So it feels like a wave is going through my body every few seconds and deletes the feeling of having a body quite drastically. I watch this and at some point it is totally gone. My eyes are closed at this point and I'm super relaxed. The body load is completely gone because there is no body any more. Ok went there before here and there. Then, the deconstruction of my personal perspective begins. You can picture it like a head that slowly deconstructs into all the pieces that it is made of. It's ego death to the fullest. It feels like going away. Firstly the concentration in the eyes deconstruct to the point where I cannot perceive sight any more. Then listening deconstructs to the point where I cannot hear any more. Then feeling goes away as well. At last there comes the ability to think, the total deconstruction of mind and through that the total dissolution of your personal perspective that is kept up by all these ways of perceiving. As the mind falls into a thousand pieces a lot of very scary things come up. I relive some of the bad things that happened to me in life. I also relive how I am eaten by a tiger and a crocodile, some crazy stuff happens. In the beginning it's very uncomfortable, but as I go through some of these scenarios I naturally begin to just take the pressure of the intense situation and ride on that. Then at some point they are finished and the last thing I think is "I am about to die". It is that cold and clear. I went a few times to this point in prior trips and it never went beyond on shrooms. Sometimes I freaked in the last moment and stopped the trip. This time - and I don't know why - I just took it because I was ready. It was okay. So at this point I feel "myself" to be a little electronic impulse going through my neurons. That's the last thing that is left of me. All the body is gone, all the senses are gone, all thinking gone - the present still remains. And I am now this tiny, tiny impulse in my head. Then at some point even that goes away. And when that happens, it feels like I am total presence, but still locked in this world, just that everything else went away. It then feels like this presence expands and expands to the margin of its reality and then it pops. It's like there is a man in a balloon and that is his life. The man is always in the centre of the balloon so he can never actually touch it. When he seems to move, the balloon moves. All that happens for him, happens in the balloon. He doesn't know that he lives in a balloon and he doesn't know how the balloon world works because the actual reality of the balloon is axiomatic to his existence. That means, that there is a bigger reality outside of the balloon that shapes and forms the balloon reality. It is an implication of the bigger reality and so can never fathom this bigger reality because it's a part of it. When I did the shrooms, first the little body of the man went away, then the head space of the man went away, then the balloon was left and then it blew up to the point where it exploded. I cannot really perceive how this felt. I think I saw some stuff, but it is not important either way. It felt like being sucked out of reality from behind. Like someone would grab you from behind out of this world. Quite crazy. Now the personal reality is totally gone. Azrael is totally dead. What happened. I still have a few pictures of the place that I went to and I can clearly see how I came back into the personal reality after it. So let me try to describe it. It feels like I am coming out of a book page in front of me into some place. I don't have a body, I cannot really think, but I can somehow perceive. Firstly, it is totally apparent to me who I am - God himself. Secondly, I instantly realize that I am coming out of a dream and that I have done this before. Then I see this book in front of me and the pages of the book turn by themselves very quickly and I see countless dreams. As I look into them it feels like I download countless bits of insights and information but it happens so fast that I cannot make something out of it. Then it goes to one specific page which shows me the nature of relativity - the explosion of Yin & Yang. I see into it and go through endless dreams as God. I go through the scenario of being eaten again by a tiger and a crocodile as God and it does nothing to me. I feel nothing. I can see it clearly but I feel nothing. It's just an intense experience that happens but nothing more. It's not even intense in that situation. It's just one dream world. Then I go into a lot of other worlds and I see how they manifest in nothingness. I see how they come up in this book and I see how they have endless structures and dynamics to them. It's happening really fast so I just get a a glimpse of that. But it doesn't matter what happens in the dreams because I begin to understand how they work. All of this time insights and information hit me. I don't know why and how and can't even explain how it feels, but it's just clear that it happens. Then after this the book turns to the page of my dream "called Azrael" again and then I slowly turn into this. It really feels like going into the page. While this is happening everything turns black and I see a thousand little particles in this blackness arise. It feels like a concept space arises and it slowly gets together and creates a total conceptual reality in this pure empty presence. And as it does it I become that. As this happens I remember that I went through this before. When I was born the first time into this perspective. Now I'm back in this dream, in "my room", in "my body" and it slowly begins to work again. I breathe for the first time again. The body feeling slowly comes back. the mind comes back. I'm still completely aware that I am God and I am completely aware that everything here is conceptual. Conceptual and non-existent to the point that I could cut myself with a knife and I wouldn't feel it. I was in that mode for a few more hours after the trip until it closed down to my normal awakened reality. But to this day I can sense how this dream works. How it comes into existence every moment and that it is completely conceptual. Completely groundless. Now, this is the best I can describe what happened. It doesn't even cover 1% of what really happened because it sounds that I just went bad shit insane. It surely does. And maybe I cannot convince you that I didn't, but that's fine. From this day on it changed completely how I perceive the world because I saw for the first time how it actually manifests. Bad shit insane. I would have never thought that our dream reality is that fucking crazy. If you are brought up with the normal scientific paradigm that you live on a planet and are this body it is bad shit insane to see that this actually is a complete conceptual, groundless dream happening in nothingness. In nothing at all. In a concept space. Soo, that's the trip. What can we make out of it. Firstly, let's get rid of some misguiding perceptions. Is the place with the book the place where you go after you die? The place itself, probably yes. The stuff with the book and shit, probably not. Why? It became apparent to me when I went there that relative reality is actually not one reality but an endless fractal of realities. So we live in our dream right now that has certain properties. It looks a certain way, it works a certain way, it feels a certain way. There is a concept space of stuff that can happen and there is a creative, intelligent force that makes certain stuff appear in this concept space. It's like a river of patterns and structures that is flowing to you right now from nothingness that makes up everything you are in this dream. Now this dream concept space is enforced by another reality, another concept space that is axiomatic to the dream. It creates the dream. So there are different things to see there, to feel there and to perceive there. Stuff works there a different way, but it works also in a certain way. Just as we are able to build a car in this dream, the reality behind that is able to create these dreams. How it does that, I don't know. What else you can do in this space, I don't know. Are you still some kind of individual in that space, it's strange. I felt to be God and absolute - just as on normal 5-MeO very clearly but at the same time it had an individual aspect to it. I will need more trips to explore that. So the stuff that I saw there and experienced there is as relative as it is in this dream. It's just that it's a different concept space, a different reality. That's why you will see different things there, because it's a different world to explore. And lastly, this is not the end stage. As I said, relative reality seems to be an infinite fractal of realities. That means that the dream you are living right now is implicated by the place I went to and the place I went to is implicated by another reality. And it seems to go on like this. Just because it's relative, completely conceptual and groundless. So, to sum things up. When you die, your dream ends for sure. Your current relative reality pops. You'll then probably go to the place where I went. I'd guess. How it'll be for you, I don't know. What will happen there for you, I don't know. I don't even know what'll happen for me there. But something will happen in some way or another. Reality is actually a fractal of realities, one creating the other, totally groundless, totally conceptual. You can realize that this is so right here and now, in this dream. You can go there yourself and experience how it is like to die and be born. You can be God. Well, you are God any way. Now, I know myself that this is a big pill to swallow. And trust me it's even harder when you experience it yourself. That being said, understand that I just describe in the best way I can how it was for me. It is still a description and can never portray to you that this is actually the case. Maybe it convinces you, probably not. That's fine. It's enough that I have seen it for myself. What you have to do now if you wanna experience the explosion of Yin & Yang, the nature of relativity, is to go there yourself and see that this is so. To do that you just need some 5-MeO trips and then every psychedelic that you'll take after will with time bring you there. For sure. I'll let you know whether I go to this place again in future trips and if I do, what I can bring back. Until then, be good to yourself. Cheers, Azrael PS: I'm thinking right now to go to the US next summer and visit some big cities so that I can make a decision whether Vancouver is the right place for me or not. I'd like to see a little bit of the east coast and then some more of the west coast. So, if you live in a big well-known city that is exciting, let me know. Maybe we'll meet.

There generally is a difference between kundalini happening (1 time thing), and awakening, which is constant energy movement all-day, every-day, supposedly peaking in GOD-consciousness. When kundalini awakened in me, I just thought it was normal for everyone who meditates ?. Thanks for the answer, it looks like it just depends on the individual no matter the catalyst.

@Sukhpaal Yes I love this topic!! It has been swimming in my head a lot lately. I recently admitted that I don't yet know what real love is. I only know my ego's concept of real love... which is a kind of "love" that fortifies my ego's existence. My ego's idea of love is a love that showers me with attention all the time and never stops validating me. Now I don't quite yet know what real love is, but I can imagine that real love will not feed your ego all the time. maybe just a little to make you feel good but real love will let you sit and feel the ego's hunger for validation, and someone who is seeking to understand and experience real love will let themselves sit with the discomfort of the ego crying out for validation. Real love might be uncomfortable to the not-yet-awakened. I have experienced a lot of suffering in my recent relationships because of the expectations I place on my girlfriends, and I'm finally accepting that I might not have been receiving real love. More importantly, I had not been GIVING real love! So I continue the endeavor of understanding how to give and receive real love. Thank you for posting this!

When you ask this question, you actually are identifying with your brain. Because who is asking the question, is your brain, it is just thoughts. So the you who you referring to in this post, is your brain, or your thoughts. But it is not really who you are. If you were not your brain, you would be fully awakened already. @Socrates said pointed it out simply but powerfully. Your thoughts, are just one of many things in the your true self's experience.

@harisankartj Ego death is the humbling of the self. If anything you would become more of a servant to the world in one form or another. And for the proper cause. For some that maybe for the first time in their life because they now see things from an awakened perspective. Before ego death they may have only viewed the world through the eyes of their ego and that was their only real motivation. You know what I mean?- that "what's in it for me" perspective of the world.

Whenever you love someone you feel totally helpless. That is the agony of love: one cannot feel what one can do. You want to do everything, you want to give the whole universe to the lover or the beloved, but what can you do? If you think that you can do this or that you are still not in a love relationship. Love is very helpless, absolutely helpless, and that helplessness is the beauty because in that helplessness you are surrendered. Love someone and you will feel helpless; hate someone and you can do something. Love someone and you are absolutely helpless because what can you do? Whatsoever you can do seems insignificant and meaningless; it is never enough. Nothing can be done, and when one feels that nothing can be done, one feels that one is helpless. When one wants to do everything and feels nothing can be done, the mind stops. In this helplessness surrender happens. You are empty. That is why love becomes a deep meditation. The Book of Secrets, Talk #13 The moment of the death of someone you have loved deeply brings your own death into your mind. The moment of death is a great revelation. It makes you feel impotent and helpless. It makes you feel that you are not. The illusion of being disappears. Anybody will be shaken because suddenly you see that the ground underneath your feet has disappeared. You cannot do anything. Somebody is dying that you love: you would even like to give your life but you cannot. Nothing can be done; one simply waits in deep impotence. That moment can make you depressed. That moment can make you sad or that moment can send you on a great journey for truth...a eat journey into the search. What is this life? If death comes and takes it, what is this life? What meaning does it carry if one is so impotent against death? And remember, everybody is on his or her deathbed. After birth everybody is on his deathbed. There is no other way. All beds are deathbeds, because after birth only one thing is certain and that is death. Somebody dies today, somebody tomorrow and somebody the day after tomorrow: what is the difference basically? Time cannot make much difference. Time can only create an illusion of life but the life that ends in death is not and cannot be the real life. It must be a dream. Life is authentic only when it is eternal. Otherwise, what is the difference between a dream and what you call your life? In the night, in deep asleep, a dream is as true as anything is, as real – even more real than what you see with open eyes. By the morning it is gone, not even a trace is left. In the morning when you are awake you see it was a dream and not a reality. This dream of life continues for a few years; then suddenly one is awakened and the whole of life proves to be a dream. Death is a great revelation. If there were no death there would be no religion. It is because of death that religion exists. It is because of death that a Buddha was born. All buddhas are born because of the realization of death. When you go and sit by the side of a dying person feel sorry for yourself. You are in the same boat, in the same plight. Death will knock on your door any day. Be ready. Before death knocks, come back home. You should not be caught in the middle; otherwise this whole life disappears like a dream and you are left in tremendous poverty, an inner poverty. Life, real life, never dies. Then who dies? You die. The “I” dies, the ego dies. The ego is part of death; life is not. So if you can be egoless, then there is no death for you. If you can drop the ego consciously, you have conquered death. If you are really aware you can drop it in a single step. If you are not so aware you will have to drop it gradually. That depends on you. But one thing is certain: the ego has to be dropped. With the disappearance of the ego, death disappears. With the dropping of the ego, death is also dropped. Don’t feel sorry for the dying person, feel sorry for yourself. Let death surround you. Have the taste of it. Feel helpless, impotent. Who is feeling helpless and who is feeling impotent? The ego – because you see you cannot do anything. You would like to help her and you cannot. You would like her to survive but nothing can be done. Feel this impotence as deeply as possible and out of this helplessness, a certain awareness, a prayerfulness and a meditation will arise. Use the person’s death; t is an opportunity. Use everything as an opportunity. Be by their side. Sit silently and meditate. Let their death become a pointer to you so that you don’t go on wasting your life. The same is going to happen to you. Osho, The Search, Talk #10

@Leo Gura Great timing for me to be hearing these words. I've re-awakened today after a bit of a slumber. Thanks to Az also. I see all of it perfectly clear now. It opened up like the sun has come out. Everything is here now. It forever rests in it's completeness.

@123456789 Here is the explanation of 7th bhumika given in yoga vashista: Rishis say that the seventh janaana bhoomikaa is the last frontier of the realm of Jnaana. It is pure peace and cannot be explained by the power of speech. Words cannot describe that state of sublime quiescence. That is the ultimate stage – there is nothing more beyond that. After experiencing that state, some call it Siva, some people say it is Para Brahma, some people say it is Vishnu; and yet some say it is Soonya – Nothingness. Some people say it is Pure Energy, some say it is unconditioned Time; and some say it is Prakruti and Purusha. The Ultimate Reality cannot be explained by words, but still people call It by different names. After having this realisation, some start thinking about it in different manners, according to their capacities. Although it cannot be explained by anybody at any time, still they would be trying to explain it somehow. ......................................................... Here is the explanation of the stages 4, 5,6,7 given by Sri Abhinava Vidyatirtha MahaswaminaH, the 35th Jagadguru of Sringeri Peetham, (mutt established by Shankara): A jñànin involved in worldly activities is referred to as a brahmavid. If a jñànin has the practice of going into nirvikalpa-samàdhi and coming out of it on his own, he is a brahmavidvara. If he can be awakened from nirvikalpasamàdhi only by the efforts of others, he is a brahmavidvaräyàn. A brahmavidvariShTha is one who never emerges from nirvikalpa-samàdhi. His body perishes while he is in samàdhi. As a brahmavidvariShTha has the best pràrabdha, he is deemed the greatest jñànin.

@Not a shaolin monk Sex is beautiful, sexuality ugly. And the difference has to be understood. Sex is a natural phenomenon; sexuality is unnatural, abnormal and pathological. When sex becomes cerebral, when sex enters into your head, it becomes sexuality. Now, the head is not the center for sex. That is getting into a confusion, it is getting upside-down, it is getting deranged. Sex is not the function of the head. But when sex enters in through the head it becomes sexuality. Then you THINK about sex, then you fantasize about sex. And the more you think, the more you fantasize about it, the more you will get into trouble. Then nothing real will ever satisfy you, because there is no limitation on fantasy, and reality IS limited. For example, if you start thinking too much about sex you can create beautiful women, women which exist only in your fantasy; you will never find them anywhere in the world. Or men: you will never come across them. No real woman or man will ever satisfy you, because of the fantasy. No real man or woman can fulfill your expectations of fantasy. Fantasy is fantasy; it is a dream. You can fantasize a woman who does not perspire, whose body has no body smell. You can fantasize a woman who is always sweet and never bitter. You can fantasize a woman who is always loving and warm and welcoming and never nags you and is never angry, never throws pillows at you. You can fantasize a woman who never ages, who remains always stuck at eighteen years of age — who is always fresh, always young, always beautiful, never falls ill, never makes any demands on you, never betrays you, never looks at any other man with longing, with desire. You can fantasize to no limit, but you will not find this woman anywhere. Now you have created a problem: you are no more naturally attuned to your sex. Nature is perfectly capable of being fulfilled, but fantasy cannot be fulfilled. You may find your woman in girly magazines, in pornographic books, but you will not find her in reality. And whosoever you do find in reality will fall short. That is the problem the West is facing; it has fantasized too much about sex. The West has become sexual through fantasy, the East has become sexual through repression. Both have become sexual and both have lost the natural capacities of enjoying sex. Both have become pathological, through different routes. The West has become pathological by fantasizing sex to be the ultimate goal of life, and the East has become pathological by thinking that sex is the ultimate barrier between God and man. Sex is neither. Neither is it the ultimate goal nor the ultimate barrier. Sex is a simple phenomenon like hunger or thirst; there is nothing more to it. It is not what the Eastern mind has been thinking about it. The Eastern mind is too afraid of sex. Out of fear, sex has moved into the head; through the door of fear it has entered into the head. So the Eastern so-called saints are simply fantasizing about sex, because they have repressed it. And that which you repress goes on coming up again and again. It cannot be destroyed; nothing can ever be destroyed by repression. Repression makes sex pathological sexuality. This is one extreme. The West has moved to another extreme. The other extreme is, fantasize about it. Sex is all, everything else is secondary, so have as much sex as you can. You cannot really have too much sex, there are limitations to the body. But you can fantasize as much as you want, there is no limitation to it. So pornography exists, blue films exist, girly magazines exist. And people are being fed on these illusory mirages. Then no real woman, no real man, will ever satisfy you. These are both pathological states. Sexuality is pathological, whether you come to it through fear or greed does not matter. The East has become ill through fear, the West has become ill through greed. Greed and fear are two aspects of the same coin. So on the surface it looks very different, as if the Eat and the West are poles apart. They are not. Those who know, those who can see, they can see that it is the same foolishness, the same stupidity. They have arrived at the same stupidity from different doors, that is true, but they have entered into the same place. And both have to be awakened, and both have to be made more enlightened about sex. Don’t make much fuss about sex EITHER way. That is the first fundamental. If you want sex to become love, the first fundamental is: accept sex as an absolutely natural phenomenon. Don’t bring your metaphysics to it, don’t bring your religion to it. It has nothing to do with religion or metaphysics, it is a simple fact of life. It is a way that life reproduces itself. It is as simple as the trees bringing flowers and fruits: you don’t condemn the flowers. Flowers are sex energy; it is through the flowers that the tree is sending its seeds, its potentiality, to reproduce other trees. When a peacock dances you don’t condemn it. But the dance is sex; it is to attract the female. When the cuckoo calls you don’t condemn it; it is sex. The cuckoo is simply declaring, “I am ready.” The cuckoo is simply calling forth the woman. The sound, the beautiful sound, is just a seduction; it is courtship. If you watch life you will be surprised. The whole of life is through sex. Life reproduces itself through sex, it is a natural phenomenon. Don’t drag unnecessary rationalizations into it. This is the first thing to be understood if you ever want any transformation of sex energy. The first thing is: don’t deny it, don’t reject it, don’t repress it. Don’t be too greedy about it, don’t think that this is all — this is not. There is much more to life. And sex is beautiful, yet there is still much more to life. Sex is only the foundation, it is not the whole temple. Repressed, it becomes sexuality. Fantasized, it becomes sexuality. One is an Eastern way of transforming sex into pathology, the other is a Western way. But nobody, either in the East or in the West, accepts that sex is a simple natural phenomenon. Neither the saints nor the sinners, nobody accepts sex to be a simple natural phenomenon. Both are obsessed with it, hence I say both are not different. Sex accepted, respected, lived, becomes love. Just as I was saying to you the other day, when sadness is there, accept it: it is you. Don’t say, “I am sad.” Say, “I am sadness.” Don’t say, “I have sadness” — it is as if you are separate and sadness is something that you have. Simply say, “I am sadness.” In that moment there is no division between you and what you call sadness. In that moment you ARE sadness. The next moment you may be peace, and still the next moment you may be joy. Life is change. Life knows only one thing as permanent, and that is change. Only change is unchanging; everything else changes except change. That means only change has eternity. It is a continuum; you are not a fixed thing. And it is good that you are not fixed, otherwise you would have been a thing, a commodity in the marketplace. You are a no-thing. You are not a fixed phenomenon; you are a constant opening, you are change. One moment there is sadness, and the river takes a turn. Another moment there is joy, and the river takes still another turn and there is peace. And it goes on and on. The moment has to be accepted in its totality: it is you. When there is sex, there is sex: it is you. Don’t say, “I have a sexual desire.” That is a way of dividing yourself, that is a way of creating a split. If you have a sexual desire then there are two possibilities. If you are against it repress it: that is the Eastern way of becoming mad, insane and pathological. The other way is, “I have the sex desire: how to enhance it? How to make it more intense? How to enjoy it to the optimum?” That is the way of greed, the Western way. But the end is the same, the end-product is the same: both become obsessed with it. Just let it be, whatsoever it is. It is you. You don’t have a sex desire; if you have a sex desire then something can be done to the sex desire. If you are it, nothing can be done about it, because there is nobody else to do anything: you ARE it. This has to become the meditation of all my sannyasins: you are it, there is no division. Just see the beauty of it. When there is no division there is no conflict. When there is no division there is no fear, no greed. It is division that brings fear and greed. Greed and fear are your interpretations of the division, but the division is first and then come your interpretations. The sex desire is there, you take it as something separate that is happening to you. It is like a thing in your hands: now you have to decide whether you want more or less of it, as if it is something of which you can have more or less. It is as it is; there is no more, no less. Simply live it, be it, love it. This is your moment, this is the truth of the moment. And never compare, because one moment ago it was not there. So don’t start comparing, because comparison again brings a split. Next moment it may be gone again. Don’t compare. Life is change. That’s what Buddha said: Life is change. That’s what Heraclitus said: You cannot step in the same river twice. Life, the river, is constantly moving. Deep down you want life to be static. Why? Because with a static and dormant life you will be more safe, more secure. But life is not dormant, only death is dormant. Life is dynamic, flowing — the more flowing it is, the more alive you are. Life is not a stagnant pool, it is a river. It is the Ganges, coming from the Himalayas, going to the ocean, coming from the heights, going to the depths. And again from the ocean the Ganges will evaporate from the depths to the heights, and again the clouds will gather on the Himalayas and again the river will be born. It is a beautiful perfect circle. That’s how you move. Each moment has to be accepted as it is, with no condemnation, with no evaluation. And when you can accept sex as natural, it stops being cerebral. It drops from the head, it goes to the sex center where it belongs. If sex remains in the sex center it is beautiful. If it goes to the head it is ugly. Eating is beautiful. You are hungry and you eat and it is needed; it is nourishment. But then there are two types of people. A few people eat too much: eating too much means the head has entered into it. When you are eating, the body is always sane. The body always says to you, “Stop now.” It immediately gives you an indication, a signal: “It is enough, now stop! No more is needed, my needs are fulfilled.” But the head says, “It is so tasty, it is so delicious — have one plate more.” It is the head, it is not the body. The body is recoiling, the body is saying, “No!” The body is always sane. And this is one of the fundamentals I would like to tell you about. Down the ages, your so-called saints have been telling you that the body is your enemy. It is not; the body is always your friend. If there is some enemy it is the head, never the body. The body is always sane. Watch it. I am not talking philosophy, I am simply stating a fact. See for yourself: if you are ill the body says, “Don’t eat.” But the head says, “If you don’t eat you will become weak. So many vitamins are absolutely needed; you will become pale, you will not be strong.” This is the head. The body is saying, “You are ill, and to eat will be unnecessarily burdening the system. The system needs rest; it is better not to eat.” And that’s what animals do. No animal will eat when he is ill; he simply stops eating. That’s what children do, no children will eat. But grown-ups will force them: they will say, “Eat, otherwise you will become ill, you will become more weak. You need it.” They force them. You can see small children crying and their mothers forcing them: “Eat a little more.” It is the head that creates the trouble. And then there are people who will fast when there is no need for fasting. The body is hungry, but if you ar a Jaina and the PARUSHANA, your religious days, have come, you have to fast. The body is hungry and the body wants food, but you cannot eat because unfortunately you are a Jaina and the religious days are there and if you eat you will be thrown into hellfire. It is the head interfering. The body says, “Eat,” but unfortunately you are a Mohammedan and it is the month of RAMADAN and you have to fast. Now this is the head interfering. The head interferes in two ways: either it makes you indulgent or it makes you repressive. Again, one is the Eastern way, another is the Western way. Eat more than is needed: this is indulgence. Don’t eat when the body needs food: this is fasting, this is repression. It is always the head that interferes. It interferes in your food, it interferes in your sex, it interferes in your sleep, it goes on interfering in everything! Remember the Zen master, the great Zen master, Bokuju. Somebody asked him, “What is your discipline?” He said, “No discipline at all. When I feel hungry I eat, and when I feel sleepy I sleep. And no other discipline.” The man said, “But this is what we all do.” And Bokuju said, “No. It is very rare to find a person who does it, because one who does it becomes a buddha. Only a buddha can do it truly.” You don’t eat according to the needs of the body, you don’t sleep according to the needs of the body. You go on imposing your head needs on the body. That interference makes everything pathological. That’s how sex is disturbed and becomes sexuality. If sex is accepted, respected, lived, it becomes love. The way is: first sexuality has to come back to sex. Directly, there is no way, no route; from sexuality to love there is no route. There is simply no route, nothing can be done about it. From sexuality to love there is no route, because sexuality is in the head, and love is a heart phenomenon. From sexuality come back to the sex center. From sex to love there is a direct route; they are bridged. In fact nothing needs to be done. Just live your sex moments with utter joy, silence, peacefulness, with celebration. Live your sex moments meditatively, and meditation transforms sex into love. Not only does sex become love: one day it becomes prayer, worship. It goes higher and higher. The highest form is prayer, the lowest form is sex. Between the two is love, love is the bridge. And sexuality is abnormal, it is pathological, it is ill. So whether you have chosen a path of being pathological like the Eastern people or like the Western people, it doesn’t matter. Accept your life a sit is, and let the acceptance be as total as possible. When you don’t fight with yourself your energy starts falling into a subtle harmony. And that harmony brings you t love. And when the harmony becomes more and more refined, it brings you to prayer. And unless sex has become prayer, remember, the goal has not been achieved. Source – Osho Book “Unio Mystica, Vol 1″

My current girlfriend is a construction worker with a community college education, dyslexia, and very little experience with self-help books. That said, she's very smart, sweet, and easily one of the most awakened people I know. Every day she mentions some deep spiritual or psychological theory that took me years to grasp, despite my "elite" education. Only her life experiences and her tendency to contemplate while taking care of chores lead her to many insights. Examples of things she's come up with without ever having read books or attend seminars on the subject: "When I date guys, the biggest question in my mind is how they talk to their mom and whether they love themselves enough to love me. I feel like when people grow up [and start dating], they're really just trying to replace their parents in a healthy manner before their parents die." - Attachment theory summarized in two sentences "I mean, it only makes sense that I would be God. If he's everything and I'm something, then he must be me because I'm part of everything. *laughs* actually, I'm going to use her from now on... She must be me... and i'm her, then I must be everything too! Whenever I get super upset I think, 'wait a minute I'm God, what's there to be upset about?'" - Enlightenment "What I love most about going to the zoo is that I see parts of my self in every animal. I think thats the secret of zoos - the animal in the cage isn't in there, its in here *she points to her heart*" And I've asked her and no, she's never taken any psychedelics although she says hippy-shit all the time - Its the cutest thing ever.

@Girzo CARL GUSTAV JUNG thinks that the Eastern approach to reality is introvert -- he is utterly wrong. The Eastern approach is neither extrovert nor introvert; it is a transcendence of both. But to understand the transcendence one has to be a Buddha, one has to be really awakened. Your personality, your expression of that ecstasy, is bound to be different. A Meera will dance; a Buddha can never dance. It is impossible to conceive of Buddha dancing, it looks absurd. But Meera sitting under a bodhi tree like a Buddha also looks absurd. She will lose everything, she will not be a Meera at all; she will be imitation. The real Meera can only be conceived of as dancing in ecstasy in her own love madness. That is her expression. The innermost core is the same. With Buddha sitting under the bodhi tree and Meera dancing in mad ecstasy, the innermost core is the same. In the dancing Meera and in the silently sitting Buddha who is just like a statue, the innermost core is the same but the periphery is different. The dancing and the silent sitting are just on the periphery. If you move within Meera, as you go deeper the dance will cease, the Meera will cease. If you go deep into Buddha, the sitting will cease, the Buddha will cease as an individual. You are not going to be a Meera or a Buddha or a Jesus. You are going to be yourself, and you have never been before. You are unique. So nothing can be said; you are not predictable. No one can say what will happen, how you will manifest it. Whether you will sing, dance, paint or remain silent no one can say. And it is good that nothing can be said, nothing can be predicted. That is the beauty. If it is predictable that you will be like this or that, then you will become a mechanical thing. Predictions are possible only about mechanical devices. Human consciousness is unpredictable; that is its freedom. ~Osho

Yes, It took 8 years...searching in the wrong places didn't help. Also, the times of falling unconscious again for awhile, until the trusty suffering aspect awakened me again. I remember many years ago, on another forum asking, "how do you stay awakened?" A long term member was giving me advice and I said, "No, you misunderstand" ...I don't remember this stuff "at all" for weeks at a time..lol. Suffering always brought me back, eventually.

Swami Satchidanandendra saraswathi explains what is nididhyasana and also quotes verses from Shankara, Gaudapa Karika and Gita which give instructions on how to practice nididhyasana.. And this differs from what is being taught by other teachers. By Nididhyasana, he means actual meditation (similar to yogic and jhana meditations). But this is usually mentioned as a purification method by other Vedanta teachers (as a means of achieving the four fold qualifications). Here is Swami's explanation: "The aim of the one practicing sustained meditation (nididhyasana) is different. He tries to attain direct vision of reality (here in this very world) by turning his mind away from all else. And there is the difference — as against upasana — that after the rise of knowledge nothing further remains to be done. It is this sustained meditation that is referred to at Katha Upanishad I.ii.13 by the name 'Adhyatma Yoga'. In the Gita it is sometimes called 'Dhyana Yoga' (e.g. XVIII. 52). In the Mandukya Karikas it is called 'restraint of the mind' (G.K.III.41, etc.). Its nature is described there in that latter work. Everywhere its result is described in the same way as right metaphysical knowledge, and from this comes immediate liberation. And here are the citations provided 1. The wise man comes to know God through mastering Adhyatma Yoga, and gives up joy and sorrow. (Katha I.ii.12) Sankara's Commentary: Mastering Adhyatma Yoga: Adhyatma Yoga means withdrawing the mind from objects and concentrating it on the Self. Having meditated on the deity, the Self, through attainment of Adhyatma Yoga, the wise man gives up joy and sorrow because there are no gradations of value in the Self. 2. 'He is seen by those of subtle vision through their subtle minds' says the Veda (Katha I.iii.12), pointing out that the highest state of Vi§nu is difficult to attain. Then the same text goes on to teach yoga as the means to attain it, in the words 'The wise man should dissolve the senses into the mind and should dissolve the mind into the intellect. He should dissolve the soul into the great self and he should dissolve that into the Self that is pure peace' (Katha I.iii. 13). That is, he should first give up the use of speech and the other organs of action and perception and should remain iden tified with the lower aspect of the mind alone. He should then note that the lower aspect of the mind, too, has defects such as an inclination towards the sense objects and unsteadiness in its decisions, and he should dissolve it into that higher aspect of mind (buddhi) which has fixed determination for its nature and is sometimes known by the technical term 'intellect' (vijnana). He should refine the intellect and resolve it into 'the great self, the experiencer or apex of the intellect. The 'great self, however, must be dissolved in the 'Self that is pure peace', the supreme Spirit that is the subject of the section, the summit of human experience. - Shankara (Brahma Sutra Bhasya I.iv.l (the whole second point above is Shankara's commentary on Brahma sutras) 3. Resorting to dispassion, always intent on the Yoga of Meditation (Dhyana Yoga). (Bh.G. XVIII. 52) Sankara's Commentary: Meditation means dwelling on the true nature of the Self. Yoga means one-pointed concentration on the Self. He who is intent on 'Dhyana' and 'Yoga' thus defined is the one 'intent on the Yoga of Meditation'. The use of the word 'always' is to show that he has no other duties, such as daily repetition of the Vedic verses. 4. That yoga should certainly be practiced with resolute mind. Giving up without exception all desires that come from individual will, restraining the sense-organs on every side through the mind, one should gradually withdraw from all activity, with will and intellect firmly controlled; keeping the mind fixed on the Self, one should not think of anything. Wherever the fickle mind wanders , one should bring it back and fix it on the Self alone, under firm control. Supreme joy comes to such a yogi, whose mind is at perfect peace, whose lusts have subsided, who is sinless and who has become the Ab solute. Such a yogi, free from all sin, always controlling his mind in this way, easily attains the supreme joy of con tact with the Absolute. With his mind controlled through yoga, he sees himself in all beings and all beings in his own Self, seeing the same everywhere. (Bh.G. VI. 23-9) Sankara' s Commentary: ' Seeing the same everywhere' is said of one who has the same undifferentiated vision or knowledge of unity and identity with the Absolute and the Self in regard to all things of different grades, from Brahma to the beings of the vegetable and mineral realms. (Bh.G.Bh.VI.29) 5. The mind must be restrained tirelessly, as if one were emptying the sea with the tip of a blade of grass. One must resort to special means to restrain the mind when it is dispersed amid desires and enjoyments. The mind must also be awakened and held in restraint even when it is perfectly calm in the dissolution of dreamless sleep. Mere dissolution in dreamless sleep is no better than desire (since it is also the seed of future worldly experience). One restrains the mind from desires and enjoyments by remembering 'All is pain'. When one remembers 'All is the Unborn (the Absolute)', one does not even see what is born. When the mind is drowsy in its practice of yoga one should arouse it, and when it is distracted one should again calm it down. One should know that the mind is soiled with latent impressions, and should not allow it to move when it has attained the state of equilibrium, free from the tendency either to dissolution or distraction. Even there, one should not savour the joy. One should acquire non-attachment through the discriminative wisdom that sees all joy as born of Ignorance. When the mind, although at first motionless, moves out once more, one should again carefully bring it back to unity. When the mind no longer either undergoes dissolution in dreamless sleep or distraction amidst desires and enjoyments, and it is motionless and without manifestation, then it has reached its state of perfection. It (has reached the state of 'no-mind', G.K.III. 32, and) is the Absolute. (G.K.III. 1-6) (G.K means Gaudapada karika.. It was written by Gaudapada, who was Shankara's guru's guru)

Part I: The first thing you must do to invoke your superior intelligence is to learn to doubt all known limits except your certainty. Think of the origin of the universe, have you asked how it happened? The ordinary reasoning requires the feed in the idea of a creator or a force that created it, who created the creator or the force? If you continue to reason you will repeat the process again and again without a solution that fits into the known logic. What do I understand by logic can be transcended? Yes, and it seems that something so simple is always forgotten for everyday life and the mind closes to beliefs of superior origin. If you are looking for illumination of your knowing perception, the first thing to ask yourself is: can I see the face to the truth manifested and not to flee, have I the desire to fight the worst demons if necessary, to fight against my worst horrors? When the time comes the road will manifest before you, you will not have to look for it, since the forces that impel your being from the immutable are like a river that flows to its destination without discussing where it goes, even though magically the form and direction of the river may always change, it is not necessary not to act, just don't be obssesed with that, because if the moment must arrive, it will arrive when you are ready, to hasten in the spiritual path without being ready is called curiosity and leads you to fill your head of spiritual and esoteric literature of all kinds that will chain you and it require much effort to eliminate it from your mind; When the moment is perfect search intelligently, and your way will have the blessing of a sincere and not fanatical or imaginative interest, but remember, don't stop, if you feel that you must advance, then advance. Transcendental knowledge can manifest as absolute truth and transcend the realms of common sense, but we must be able to accept it and seek from the inside, it have been given to you intelligence and your worst mistake may be not to use it with all possible rigor, the true wisdom in which you can absolutely trust is not an external vision but one that is connected to your natural intelligence, and your intelligence is more than what the common being is accustomed to perceive, its highest degree there is no probability or discursive thoughts but certainty, a certainty that goes beyond the forms of words and explanations that man tends to seek. When you are ready you can stop reading books and begin to read in your own being, in the silence of your interior, you will understand this truth: words are the vehicle, not the essence, and the essence of a word can approach to what is called good or bad and is connected to the true intention. Be receptive to what is in you, do not put your head down to the power that is granted, be patient to accept the degree in which it arrives and be a inner worker to continue growing if you really wish it. How do you begin to connect with your own superior intelligence or how to amplify the connection and break the domain of dark beings that take advantage of your unconscious side? The first thing to remember about the intelligence that is at your service and about your own being is that they are more than what commonly it’s perceived, commonly the human mind causes you to identify with your limited states and your wisdom does not progress, people live blindly like sheep following other people's opinions by imposition of the ego and the fear. How do you break these chains and regain control of your conscious being? You must first accept your own intellectual ability, you must accept that you can see things your way and try to feel like absurd to put your decisions in the hands of other people's opinions if your own conscience gives you a more reliable solution. It is very common in the spiritual realm to give your life to the guidance of a guru or a guide and to forget your intelligence as if you can't go on your own way or as if they had shown you the absolute truth, but it was really your intelligence that asked you to do it or the fear of being judged, to miss a special opportunity? Be careful! You must accept first even if it goes against the common sense that although something is very probable that probability is nothing before the eyes of the truth until you do not prove it, therefore, if you are deluded spiritually or your spiritual work stagnates you must check if you have allowed to yourself renounce to intelligence that was granted to you in existence, intelligence that can even transcend the commonly understood as logic when it has awakened in your conscious aspect. Phenomena as the origin of existence seem to transcend logic and do not seem to have an explanation because someone had to create the first thing that existed, according to the common logical reasoning. Forget your failures on the intellectual plane and concentrate on the present, you must open your intelligence, observe all your ability to be intelligent, if necessary even as a light or ethereal substance that goes beyond your physical body, expand it in your consciousness as far as is possible cleaning negative interferences and giving you more sensibility to that intelligence, think for yourself, do not self-limit to yourself, you have to reaffirm again and again the following and try to accept it: "I think first by myself with all possible intelligence and will and I help to myself with external knowledge only as necessary" until that becomes a reality or a silent will that you can feel working on it and gives you satisfaction. You should also try to do the same exercise of perception and expansion that I described for intelligence, but now for your willpower. The next step is simply to be, and be natural, when you find yourself in the right moment and place: become indifferent to the use of words mentally and to all discursive judgment, simply retains the sincere desire to fully fill your attention observing: life, your body, your thoughts, your intelligence, your being, everything that you really want to observe even if more than one thing at the same time, and don’t say anything, just observe, also keep the sincere desire to know what your deepest intelligence wants to show you, but not with words, but in the form of ideas; the higher aspect of your being will gradually manifest in your consciousness, ask your mind to receive in satisfaction form a sign that it (your mind) must yield its will to that superior intelligence that impels you unconsciously but in your favor, even if you don’t understand its will, just feel that it is okay, you can feel a peace, a joy or something when you move automatically and although you don’t know what happens, something tells you that things are okay like this, even if it is not clearly perceived or even if it is not perceived, yes, it may seem crazy, but it is not, if you feel more of a sensation in different directions follow the one with which you identify, but beware, because your intelligence can lead you to light or darkness depending on your true purposes. On the other hand this exercise does not mean that you don’t use the discursive side of your mind ever, when necessary do it, either for mental health or for a specific activity, it is very important that you keep in mind that all this must occur without forcing, I mean not because I say it or blindly, inject the desire and expect it to work in you, do not force the mind to be blank blindly, the undesired thoughts will be gone when the time is right or yourself will separate them naturally and healthy. Through this exercise you will begin to have intuitions about things, such as instant reflections on an idea and you will begin to discover that you are something different than what your mind has made you believe, as if thoughts that you had at times does not come from you now. You will begin to connect with the inner aspect of your being and you will realize how some external forces will try to maintain the attraction towards thoughts and ideas that in the bottom don’t interest you and can be seen very rare, you will begin to differentiate your intelligence from the external control, which may come from another evil and manipulative forces that work from the hidden places to the common eye, or you will see attraction to ideas that your own intuition indicate with certainty they can lead you to a superior well-being if you inject will to yourself. This can be the beginning to a journey of self-knowledge, you will understand to differentiate what really makes you good from what damages you, or what constitutes an immediate sacrifice for a future good. Keep away the idea of that you can't reach it, be persistent and you can even to reach an omniscience conection. I once read in a Hindu script: "The Self is the Guru." Unfortunately nowadays many people follow to incarnated persons who don’t teach you to use your own intelligence and make you surrender to them, even worse, many people follow a mixture of doctrines and esoteric teachings that buy your intelligence for a transitory joy and the consequences can be disastrous, don’t be a sheep, be the keeper of your own path and everything you receive from the external will be processed first by the filter of your own intelligence. Part II: You can free yourself from the suffering in your life and be aware of the spiritual truths and applied techniques to your own particular case. All this in this incarnation if you have the time for it. All that is asked in this case is: will, courage and persistence. All the process that connects you with your higher intelligence must occur naturally after taking appropriate consent measures, if this has not happened, be patient, it is very important to adapt the consciousness to a state of indifference with respect to what is observed in discursive matter, try to feel more and not to reason the things, feel the abstract ideas that your observation object produces in you, invoke those ideas, including the emotional feelings that are involve if this is from positive pleasing; take a daily time to practice a simple introspective meditation, close your eyes in a comfortable posture, preferably in a chair and not lying because it will attract a sleepy state more easily, then, in that posture tries to relax but do not obsess about it, you can observe your breathing for a while maintaining a rhythm of inhalation and exhalation as natural as possible, breathe the necessary, wait for the necessary time before exhaling, exhale what is necessary and wait again what is necessary to re-inhale, observe all your thoughts with the intention to observe them but be indifferent to their content, be indifferent to make them persist and indifferent to others coming, with the expectation of capturing ideas that come from your superior intelligence to guide you in the process, to communicate something useful that you know it will help or that you want to know, it is not any idea that comes to you, but those that come with enough certainty to say I must trust in that idea, and then you can surrender to that guide even if all known external intelligence is against you, but your superior intelligence will not force you to anything you don't accept, so you are still responsible for your decisions. You can feel slight desires of movement in trying to stay in that position, don't resist, at least in the beginning, but don't lose the intention of the process, as you go deeper you must feel as if the unwanted thoughts become more abstract or more like concrete ideas, if you feel that you are falling into a void, a numbness, an excessive relaxation or a feeling that something wants to take your consciousness out of the body, resist, don't let yourself be carried away by weakness, stay alert to the process, you can expand the consciousness out of the body with the consent of your intelligence with the certainty that it produces something desired by you and does not have to involve the abandonment of the body; the idea of feeling without thoughts could frighten you, maybe as a feeling that you are going to be out of control, ask your superior intelligence to give you a signal in the form of satisfaction or joy about everything is fine, it is not necessary to reason if it is fine, you will know it, whenever I refer to asking a signal like this to the higher intelligence it must be a recognizable signal, a signal that prompts you to continue with sufficient certainty, some parts of the mind may oppose but something tells you with certainty that you must do it, then there is a process in which you know and you are taken knowing, when you got practice will be fluid and pleasant, because it relaxes the mind and improves your health by releasing the habit of resorting to discursive or very concentrated thoughts to make decisions, which can be done occasionally but not as a slavery, you can even try something strange in this meditation, something in Zen Buddhism is called thinking without thinking, you imagine your being as something transcendental and invisible that is making instantaneous decisions in your conscience and although you don't see what decisions you feel you should act or think according to those decisions, but this must be done by asking for a signal to that higher intelligence, to that transcendental something, then you will not reason that you do the right thing, you receive the signal from your upper unconscious zone, that unconscious zone sends it to what I would call the root of each chakra or center of consciousness, which connect with the brain and heart, these root zones in coordination with the physical organs process the idea, compare it with your true interests for the moment and you feel like the next movement is backed up, but to feel that is like a lightning bolt and there is no time to think about it, you must keep in your interests the intention to act when the movement is backed up. Never be disappointed if the intelligence seems to fail to you and make you do something silly, sometimes the channels are not free from interference and external entities, sometimes they can make you think or do nonsense. Copying this synchronization process and taking it to your daily tasks will give you more mental freedom and will speed up many everyday processes, and yet it is something that you already did in some activities maybe without thinking about the fact, I mean walking, eating, doing body coordinated movements for balance, etc... It is something you do and it is enough, perhaps it is not guided by the highest level of intelligence beacuse it has not been necessary, but it is done with an incredible intelligence compared to ordinary reflexive reasoning, do you would reason at every moment the exact point in space to where you are going to move an arm and at the same time a foot and repeat the process with reasoning until you are 100% convinced that the next position is correct, millimeter to millimeter for giving an unit of measure? It really seems absurd, but so many things are done in everyday life ignoring the tremendous potential of the superior intelligence that can assist us. The purpose of this meditation will be to sharpen your connection with superior intelligence and even to have flashes or revelations of knowledge in the form of intuitive ideas, in other free moments you can continue practicing the previous methods of observing anything desired, then apply the same interiorization by disconnecting yourself of unwanted ideas. The time that you must dedicate to each exercise you must feel it with your personal plan, don't do things that you feel that can make to you a not suitable damage, sacrifice can always be, unless you make of these processes something that satisfies you. In order to brighten your life and attract more positive mental states, positive energies, and to improve the perception of truth I propose the following: imagine that your being in its depth contains a source of joy, ask your superior intelligence to send you joy all day, be receptive to that joy, try to feel it for real and enjoy it whenever you want; it is important to mention something that I mentioned in the first methods, for all work with the higher intelligence you must allow it to take energy and will from you, but you must give it sincerely, always feeling a sign that it is right for your best interests. Remember that other beings can deceive you to steal your energy from hidden areas to the common eye, can make you believe that they are your intelligence and are not, so you must act with certainty that it is the right thing, perhaps the idea of acting continuously and with speed if at the same time you must be sure is something weird, the superior intelligence is powerful and in your centers of mental consciousness there is also the ability to follow a synchronized rhythm with that higher intelligence on a fluid time, it is something that you simply have to do when you feel yo have to do it, it is a point where the reasoning already hinders, in which the forms of thought perhaps give you the initial impulse but then you continue fighting against the mind or external influences if they oppose to keep you in this state, it is very pleasant when you reach the highest levels of release, if it is the case it begins to release large tensions that you had for a long time and that were not positive for your health. Much encouragement, persistence and courage to move forward. Remember to do it all by own decision and if you feel ready for these practices.

Well, if my having healed my cancer by activating my body's own healing abilities (and without much help from conventional cancer industry) is not enough evidence to you, then so it be. I do recognize benefits of modern conventional medicine where the benefit is due. However, if I'd taken chemo, radiation, Temoxefin, etc, I'd be either walking like a drugged-up zombie or dead by now (like many 'rational' cancer patients are). This is not 'magical' thinking, this is stage Yellow thinking - rising above the body-mind and treating it as a whole, where you don't 'fight' your 'ailment', you work with it lovingly. Cancer is actually a beautiful thing if you look at it from a Yellow stage perspective. Any awakened/enlightened being will tell you that. Peace.

I understand your concern about money making businesses. I only take from that industry what's quality and benefits my wellness. I was low on B-12, found quality B-12 supplement, took it for awhile, the following test reveals my B-12 levels are back to normal. Same with free-radical testing - went from 5 (bad) to 2 (good) by having taken quality antioxidants for a few months. All my vitamin and mineral levels are within normal range too. And if/when they drop, I will fill that deficiency by eating proper foods and temporary supplementation. I'm still learning about how my body works and what it needs to stay in top-notch shape. It's fun! Are you saying awakened beings can't take superfoods and supplements?

My favourite game ever is actually super duper spiritual! I am talking about StarCraft! This is a game that I've played for years now. I started playing as Zerg (The creepy swarm), but after a year, I transitioned into Protoss (The shiny guys ^^) . I've played all expansions: Wings Of Liberty, Heart of the Swarm and now Legacy of the Void I cannot believe that I only now become aware of how the Protoss are saying all these highly spiritual things during gameplay! They are far from peaceful warriors, but in dire times war can be the only option! Here are quotes that I've selected which the units say when you are controlling them. Zealot "My meditation is over." "We stand as one!" "By your will!" "Honor guide me!" "I am Templar! I am the sword of truth!" "How peaceful it must be for you to have a mind unburdened by thought!" Mothership Core "As all are one." "By the heart of Aiur." "We are the voice of Aiur." "Our systems pulse with the truth." "Our light shall burn the pathway to the stars." "The glow of the infinite is within us." Disruptor "Consciousness awakened." Dark Templar "By the Void." "The void claims its own." "I am the darkness!" High Templar "We are the light of the Khala!" "We seek enlightenment." "Our minds are as one." "We shall stand against the darkness." "We are focused." "Focus! There is no time for idle thoughts!" "Your thoughts betray you." "Two become one!" "As ever I serve." Immortal "I feel your presence." "We shall serve forever!" "There can be only one!" Stalker "I am the voice of the eclipse." "I am the heart of darkness." "We are one with the shadows." "We are all but shadows in the Void." "I hear the call of the stars..." "I AM ONE with the darkness!" Void Ray "Channel the light of Aiur!" "All paths are seen through the prism of fate." "Infinity burns around us." "I am also null..." Mohandar "The Void will answer." "I am now... beyond you." (when killed) "I return... to the Void." (when killed) FOR AIUR!