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Fundamentally, it is magical. It is impossible. If you look carefully, you will realize that consciousness/reality is utterly mysterious. This is what reality is doing: Reality never saw an apple, reality never experienced an apple, there has never been anything like an apple before in all of existence. There is nothing to be even imagined to be an apple. Yet, reality can grab into the air and manifest, consciously, an apple, without knowing what an apple is. It can manifest the knowledge of the apple, the essence of the apple, out of thin air, from absolutely no reference point. It can do that with everything. It can manifest everything from nothing. It can manifest all possible dualities. Intelligence and understanding is not merely discovering an already present reality. Intelligence and evolution is manifesting the undiscovered, the unmanifested, from complete non-existence into existence. If you have the potentiality of nothingness, what reality is doing is grabbing into that nothingness and pulling it apart. By that method it can manifest anything, it can manifest infinite things that are unimaginble, like colors and smells. Imagine there was no such thing as colors, imagine you have never seen a color in your life. Imagine that you could not even possibly imagine color. Yet, what reality can do is just pull into nothingness, and consciously manifest color without knowing what it is, because knowing what it is would mean that it would have already existed. This impossbility of reality, this magical property is the foundation of all intelligence and creation. This is what consciousness fundamentally is. When you see it, you will immediately recognize that reality is fucking insane. It is literally impossible. There is no causation to it, there is no explanation, there is no root. The manifestation of all that is real is done by the manifestation of it itself. Reality is basically like magic swimming through the sea of non-duality, and the swimming itself is the manifestation of duality. In Blackness there must exist Whiteness. Whiteness and Blackness equate to nothingness, which is what they truly are. Nothingness can produce literally everything, infinite sensation. How many senses do you have? You can see. You can smell. You can hear. You can feel. You can think. These are a few of the aspects of consciousness which are pulled from nothingness into existence. There are literally infinite. They are so unfamiliar to you that you could not possibly imagine them. They are so strange like to a blind man color is. And there are INFINITE of these aspects. They are all manifested by magic, by non-causality. The literally self-manifest. It is pure magic. And it happens at all times, with all aspects of realness. Language is one of these infinite aspects. Language is utterly mysterious and impossible in it's essence. This is what you have to recognize. Once you recognize this there will be no more words, because you will know that whatever it is is beyond all comprehension. It literally is impossible. It's not you who are feeling, it is the feeling that is feeling. Feeling is self-existing. It took as much effort to manifest feeling as it took to manifest the entire universe. Which is to say no effort at all. They are both just aspects of realness or consciousness. The answer to the question is found by observing how any aspect of realness is manifested. Once you see, you will know creation has no cause. It is magical.

@Aaron p It's great to have the concept in mind and from your writing I suppose you know that concepts don't really count for anything once realization is happening. I once came up with an analogy that I quite like: the analogy of the rainbow bubble. You see, a rainbow bubble seems to be a real, tangible thing moving around in space and time. With a clearly defined inside and outside and a boundary between those two. But if you look at it, inside and outside are literally the same, the same air. The bubble is not a tangible thing but it exists as the boundary. Once the bubble is popped (great analogy for what, you might think :)), the boundary collapses and what has always been one is one now. From my reading I suspect there are deeper insights to have into the nature of nothingness, void god and so on but the the bubble popping is what I have yet become conscious of. I also like to put it into this phrase: the ego is identification with experience. It is the clinging to something that feels permanent, where there in reality is only constant change. I hope it helps you in any way, stay on track, my dude

@Aakash In my experience, thoughts emerge momentarily and disappear into nothingness. I am acutely aware of the silence in between thoughts, even if this silence has no duration. Present moment is my reality, time does not exist. The coherence of the present moment, the unfolding, is Love.

@Angelite non duality is dual, and duality is non-dual. Hence “Zero” Is one and “one is zero” somethingness is nothingness and nothingness is somethingness. Enlightenment is non-dual, non-enlightenment is dual. Therefore every enlightened person is actually not enlightened and every non enlightened person is enlightened. The mind can not grasp truth but the mind can grasp truth because non-duality is duality. And duality is non-duality. Let me translate for you in non-dual terms allah says : a single man is not A single man, he has many wife’s (all people, things , animals and form) , all at odds with each other because they they they are single man just like this single man. A slaved man because he belongs to one master (the religious man) Are these two equal ? Praise be to Allah, (not the single “material” man or the religious ) man) praise be to Allah (the enlightened man) but most of them have no knowledge (of allah because They never die to allah ) hmm I have changed my mind about Mohammad he was most certainly a prophet.

@zeroISinfinity thats the plan, I don’t intend to use my knowledge to become enlightened. This is an assumption. I’m not that deluded that I think I can get to enlightenment with thoughts. @tsuki okay I apologise, I didn’t mean for it to be intended that way through your filters. I didn’t say you were deluded and I am not. We are both deluded and that’s the truth. I didn’t say absolute nothingness was non-existance. this is your assumption. Nothingness is somethingness and somethingness is nothingness they are identical because there is only existence. Do you not realise the problem with transcending a duality. Duality can not be transcended together. Duality is transcended into non-duality and then non-duality is transcended into emptiness. Transcending duality into non-duality still leaves you with non-duality. This whole game is done out of love. so WHY is your body still here! Because enlightenment starts at samadhi ends at nirva samadhi, then enlightenment has a second stage which starts at nirva samadhi and ends at mahasamadhi which is identical to nirvana. So the end of enlightenment is nirvana and mahasamadhi. You are mistaking your enlightenment for nirva samadhi. You have a fundamental contradiction in this whole debate and that is the fact you still have your body. Your brushing this paradox under the carpet. Not only that there is a fundamental contradiction in the whole of spirituality that Buddhism shows. For you to come out of nirvana and teach you have to become a boddhisattva. Buddha was a boddhisattva, he walked around in enlightenment and not nirvana.

@Aakash Sigh... just read your own post and see how scared and contracted you are. Your whole argument rests on me being a deluded idiot playing tricks on himself to keep being a devil. What kind of logic is that? Non-duality is not transcended into absolute nothingness. Non-existence does not exist. It is a delusion. It is transcended by understanding the nature of the ego and overcoming the duality between duality and non-duality. Stateless state is ego and no ego at once. You know what the ego is. Mahasamadhi is not the same as enlightenment. Enlightenment starts with samadhi and ends with mahasamadhi. The point, purpose, of something is not the same as its end.

Who thinks my thoughts? God? Nothingness? I have observed this issue for 6 months straight. In my experience thoughts appear out of nowhere. I haven't found a being who thinks or controls my thoughts. Yes i know the illusion of control & thinking your thoughts is extremely strong but with enough awareness it can be underminded. Any opinions? Has anyone done the work & concluded to some answes. I would like an answer based on personal experience & observation. Not what you think or have heard from others. This issue has boggled my mind for couple of years now. I find that i identify wih thoughts more than anything & that causes a great deal of misery. I even identify more with thoughts than my "physical" body.

Take just a minute, right now, and write down what you want, and tape it to the wall. Start talking about what you want, and doing things you enjoy. Do things for yourself that you like, that feel good to you. Doing things that feel better to you, causes you to feel better. Recognize, acknowledge, know that better feeling. Your perspective will begin to change, and you’ll want things that you aren’t aware of yet. Write em down. Tape em to the wall. You’ll notice interests which you aren’t aware of yet, check them out. Keep in mind, you’ll be feeling better for having done things that you like, and your perspective will naturally be better. You’ll notice thoughts arise about what you want, and thoughts arise about it’s absence. Choose the thoughts about what you want. You are getting more of whichever end of that duality you’re thinking about. What you want arises from within you. It also arises in the physical sense, from within you. If you ‘get stuck’ with choosing a better thought, just choose a little bit better feeling thought that is true for you. As you do more of what you enjoy, and choose better thoughts, you’ll continue feeling better, and your perspective will really open up. You’ll be wanting things you had no idea you’d want, and you’ll feel better than you ever have. Fun, and exciting. People, things, opportunities, will come about in accordance with what you want. Continue choosing thoughts about what you want when these present themselves. They are what you asked for, nothing more, nothing less. They will come in ordinary everyday appearances. Sensation is guidance. Listen to it. If it doesn’t feel good, go back to choosing thoughts about what you want. You’ll easily learn not to be stubborn, because you’ll be loving how you’re feeling when you listen and align with sensations, and choosing thoughts about what you want. It is literally the good feeling you are aligning with. This good feeling lifts you up to perspectives you’ve not yet seen. I’m sorry to be the one who is breaking this to you, but, that’s what you’ll need to do. Stuff you like, that feels good to you. (Sorry for this) What you want is going to come from what already is, so loosen up, relax, be flexible with things. Choose the thoughts about what you want, over thoughts about what already is. What is, is old news. The Source of you already knows everything you’ve ever wanted in your entire life, and is always giving it to you. Now that you’ve dialed up the emotional scale, you’ll start receiving it. You won’t be ‘getting in the way’. You’ll feel good, and you’ll allow it to come however it is, appreciating that it is coming, and feeling great. You’ll learn to ‘zoom in & zoom out’. If you get off track, if things seem intense, think more general and simple; puppies, blue skies, humor, the universe is loving me, anything will do which gets you feeling better, reconnected. Take a minute to notice, each day, your paper on the wall. Remember the bigger picture you are wanting. Allow the feeling good of knowing it is coming, recognize feeling good actually equals feeling good, and feeling good naturally brings things you want and elevates your perspective, which leads to discovering more that you want. At this point, you’re pretty dialed into some feelings that feel flat out exhilarating, unstoppable really, invincible. You’ll be used to connecting more often and more deeply with these great sensations, listening intently to the guidance with more sensitivity, appreciation, and gratitude for how great life feels. (Sorry again about that). You’re thinking about what you want, doing things you like, taking care of yourself, noticing some intriguing coincidences and profound opportunities coming around. This is what you want, coming to you, and you’re feeling so good, so deserving and worthy, so accepting, that you are willing to receive it. Which is great, because Source has been wanting you to have it. It becomes really clear that these sensations are your connection to Source, to The Universe, to Everything. And everything you want, comes from everything that already is. Like magic. As if it was made for this, as if you were designed for this experiencing. As if all the wants themselves came from everything that is already, the very same everything which everything you want is coming from. You will be astonished. Agape. You will be so mesmerized by Source’s love and generosity, and ease of alignment at this point, that you will tell others about this, and they will say you’re nuts, and that they would have to know details, and that there must be more to it. There isn’t though. There’s just choosing a better thought. You can do this, and you can only do this, now. In this present. “We come whirling out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust. The stars made a circle, and in the middle we dance.” Rumi

I am all that exists. I am (have been/will be), each individual human soul (the thing that is aware)/(the shape of the nothingness that is crafted out of each particular human "experience") ... the holes in a sponge. I am the only human "being", I am the sole arbitrator of the connection between each human. QuEsTiOnS: When I ( as in, this particular human experience ) ceases to exist, and my awareness return to nothingness.. what happens to all of my other experiences/points of attention in this particular Milkyway, Earth story? If I die tomorrow, is there, for instance, still the existence of a part of me called Leo teaching other parts of me spiritual stuff. Or me as, my mum, dad, brother who are left to mourn the death of me (particular human experience). Basically, does this dream of earthy stuff have any actual existence outside of my imagination of it. When i die as this human.... what occurs to the rest of my points of attention on "earth"? if any of earth "timeline" is still relevant after returning to nothingness (which i assume it is as nothingness holds all possibility), how many other dreams/relms will i cycle through, before, (((this))) same earth timeline is encountered by awareness and i experience my current mothers life, and the mourning of my death, if i died tomorrow. deep stuff ay. zippididooda, gods a sneaki lil fucckkerr

@Aakash Reality negates itself. It has infinite qualities. One of those is nothingness.

In between Buddha & Jesus, there is the middle path (Muhammad) . What do you think?@Nahm Honey Wine & Milk.. Jesus is the other extreme end, Buddha is the other extreme end. Jesus is the everythingness, Buddha is the nothingness. Muhammad combines the two. Full circle. Purity. So we're both human and ascended soul. For muslims it's okay if we don't get enlightened in this world. If we do get enlightened that's fine too. Because we're in the middle~ ... The real Buddha & real Jesus are fine. But it has then lost it's roots. Except few who are practicing it authentically. Some has lost it's real meaning. O people of the Book, do not exceeds in your religion, do not speak of Allah except that which is the truth. Jesus the son of Mary was Allah's messenger (who was created by) His Words, to Mary, and a spirit from Him : so believe in Allah and His Messengers. And do not say : "(God is) Trinity", desist (from saying that).It will be better for you. For Allah is One God: Glory be to Him: (far exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belong all things in the heavens and on earth. And enough is Allah as a Disposer of affairs. 4:171 Christ never resist to serve and worship Allah,nor do the angels, those nearest (to Allah). And those who refuse to worship Him and are arrogant, Allah will gather them all to Himself. 4:172 But those who believe and do righteous deeds, Allah will give their due rewards- and more, out of His bounty: but those who are disdainful and arrogant, He will punish with grievous penalty; nor will they find , besides Allah, any to protect or help them. 4:173 ... The bible translated Allah as "father" Jesus as "son" Rūh Al-Quds as the Holy Spirit. Which leads to confusion. Subtle but the impact is huge. ... So say (o Muhammad) : "O my Lord, Grant You forgiveness and mercy for You are the Best of those who show mercy." [23:118]

Of course you can kill yourself and become God whenever you want, no one is stopping it from you (except for people stuck in the dual and who think it is wrong) But still it is not the full answer. Duality is a a gift. It is not as boring as the nondual. That is why God decieved himself and contracted his consciousness into a person, human, or animal so he could escape himself from himself and experience the great beauty and value of a human life, the love, sorrow, hatred, jealousy, strife, suffering, bliss, gratitude of having lived as a human and having loved your loved ones, your spouse, your parents, your mother, although they are not real, but still a momentary escape to that special connection is what God wants. If you experience the non-dual while being in the dual, you can have the best of both worlds, you can have a synergestic effect. Full blown nothingness is a great thing, but living in the junction of the dual and non-dual isn't a bad experience either. And if you kill yourself again not having realized yourself, then chances are you will again decieve yourself and be reborn again into something which you intruth are actually not, and you will be running around in this duality for god knows how long untill slowly you start to question who you really are. The only reason the nondual is sought, is to take a break from the suffering of duality which might be (percieved as) unbearable. It's like in a dream a tiger is about to kill you, and awakening is like "Chill out, this is just a dream". However if you are enjoying this dream (which is the purpose of self deception, suffering is the side effect), then non-dual is useless. If in the dual you feel great because you feel like you are the most smartest, handsomest, talented etc person in the world, then nonduality destroys this dream and you are back to non duality and you go "Wow, I wish this was real. It was such a beautiful dream" Also do you see the connections between, suffering, seeking the nondual and suicide? Why do people commit suicide? To end their suffering. Why do people want a escape to the nondual? To end their suffering. Seeking nondual turns you into a God and ends suffering. Suicide turns you into a God and ends suffering. Non-dual = Suicide (of the dual) Suffering is the side effect of the pleasure of the dual. Arthur Schopenhauer used to say that humans are capable of great suffering because they are capable of great pleasure. While animals or lesser forms (which Schopenhauer calls the brutes, who live only moment to moment, suffer moment to moment and have pleasure moment to moment, contrast to that of human) can have neither or lesser of the 2, their experience is not as intense as that of the human.

@Nahm I will follow your suggestions. I "Can't get there" was a thought afterwards, perhaps a thought that appeared while self-inquiry that was let go but during the self-inquiry it seems like I am close like I feel peace, but can't get there to "Nothingness", "Enlightenment". There's an existential fear that something horrible/bad will happen, my life will end or some bullshit. So your saying question it and let go?

@Jack River okay re wrote my answer 5 times. Let me know if there is anything wrong with it. I think there is, but I’m not sure which part I’m getting wrong. I think it’s does it have to be materially physical for it to exists and the answer is no, because form itself exists. Even the imagination of it makes it exists. But it’s delusion to say it exists because it’s material form and that material form is atoms and not nothingness, which is why we get this whole debate over everything being formless and not form. So nothing actually happened. It only appeared to have happened. “Beyond non-duality/duality conceptually” So to conclude, gravity is imaginary but it exists. it’s substance is formless, and that formlessness allows it to have form. In the shape of a thought. Which exists. Which is. Which is hallucinated/ imagined to be real. And can be proven not to be real, when you take the thought away. But it did not ever not exists. It existed only as a thought, which was nothing. ? ugg my brain needs an ambulance. This would be so much easier if my being was synced up. @Leo Gura I feel like I’m getting this twisted. But I’m not sure

Continue doing practises. Nothingness is not that. Trust me It's worthy pursuing Truth. Don't give up. Meditation is the way. If Nothingness is some nihilistic sad stuff and methods to realize it, would anyone teach it? Makes no sense, does it?

Happiness = Nothingness = You. But you’re employing the sneakiness of thinking sensation is in the past or future, similar to the tricky of thinking fun is a property of an object or place. WAKE UP!!!!

Ofc i want it to be some drama. Mby some forbidden love in that dream. But i mean i want to experience it so badly. But Will i ever? Prob not. To Good to be Good. Being nothingness Will be Nice because no suffering. But No great experience.

There is no direct experience of death, being born, being reborn, afterlife, or randomness. These are limiting beliefs, essentially veiling the living and realizing of the actual perfectIon of life, now. Also just maybe consider, you’re using the word nothingness as if it was something more than your idea of nothingness. Everything you want is wanted because you think you will feel better in the having of it. I’d at least consider the reversal of your paradigm, and consider the fruits of self discovery are far greater than ideals. If a thousand years seclusion with your perfect partner, in a world void of suffering, pollution, etc, were a better life, a better reality, you can bet that’s what there’d be. Consider, you might be missing a higher perfection, a deliciousness, which is right in front of you, a miracle to be revealed. The perfection of the imperfections. Life passes quickly indeed. Not fully living via a holdout for ‘the perfect life’ could be costly & regrettable. Letting go, leads to creating the life you want. Holding out for the ‘getting of the life you want’ - as a contingency for letting go, almost ensures life long suffering.

I was a seeker of Truth before I knew that there is such a thing as a 'path'. Around 5-6 years ago when I understood that science gives no definite answers to my questions I turned to philosophy. While reading Heidegger's Being and Time and inquiring into phenomenology of my being, I had a two-week long something that I later learned to be ego death. At that point I had no idea what had happened and began studying psychology and started psychotherapy. Some time after stabilizing my psyche I stumbled across Leo's videos about meditation and started practicing irregularly I learned about the path, enlightenment, and started studying mysticism. Mystical experiences kept occurring periodically. What I would consider my core practice is contemplation, becoming directly conscious of what something is. That usually requires sincere description of what I think of it and seeing if it is actually the case. That leads to 'enlightenment experiences'. Ultimately, all practices collapse into one indecribable thing which is best called 'present moment'. Few months ago, with contemplation, I became conscious of what I am, what the other is, what the world is and what is God. Fireworks were spectacular and I 'fell' into absolute nothingness which is absolute infinity. Recently I tried LSD for the second time with the intention of finding absolute love. The substance did deliver.

Sure, I also had a dream in which I died and there are no words to describe nothingness. Theoretically, when you die, you let go of all your earthly attachments. No one knows what happens after death but death is the opposite of life. It is said that death is the release of suffering because attachments bring suffering.

From my perspective, nope. Death has no consciousness. Consciousness is life and death is the opposite. There's no consciousness to be aware of nothingness. "Nothing" makes no sense when you're dead.

As I conceptually get it, yes, but not as you. There won't be any "I" there, thinking about it. I mean the current "I" i.e. the current "You". After death, SQAAD will cease to exist so you won't be somewhere as SQADD thinking "Oh, so this is what death is like", having also SQAAD's identity and memories. Maybe it will be something like a breakthrough on 5-MeO-DMT were you feel like floating (being) into an infinite void experiencing everything timelessly . Who knows.... At the moment I ve had only one breakthrough experience on Bufo Alvarius, saw the white light, got thrown in the vast nothingness etc. (similar as many people describe in trips or after life experiences), and I was thinking that if let's say I become very old lying in my death bed seeing my end coming, i would think "heh...let's see if it will be like that bufo alvarius trip". But as I said above, 'I' won't be there to experience it anyway. Or will I... ?

So it’s been a month since my last post on here and felt like giving an update. After getting off I actually started feeling a tiny bit better. I was starting to do some self acceptance and it came along actually in the beginning. I was walking on some old trails I used to run on in Marin County over the Golden Gate Bridge. That was kinda where it ended. After about less than a week in I started falling into a worsening depression I haven’t fallen in in years. Mental breakdowns have become basically a daily thing. My only friend who lives next to me isn’t a available for me to talk to him just to have someone to talk to so I’m alone everyday. My dad has been going off on me on how I’m a loser because my suffering “doesn’t make sense” and how I just need to “man up.” I wake up everyday feeling too numb to get out of bed. I’ve had to leave work early a couple times now because I’m barely able to hold back tears. My mind won’t stop. It. Just. Won’t. Fucking. Stop. I can feel even in my body that this entire self is something I’m holding onto in yet trying to drop even a single belief like “ I CAN’T” (my bottommost core belief) because my entire sense of self is revolves around this addiction to holding this belief. This entire self is just a giant lie. Everything I say is a lie. Everything I think is a lie. The way I hold my body is a lie. I don’t feel suicidal per say as I don’t want to resort to that. I honestly just want help. I feel like I’m truly not good enough and that I can’t. I just fucking cant. Relative to what isn’t the belief. It’s that I can’t. Affirmations and such have been a disaster. I’ll be on a run (and now I’m hurt) and when I start feeling that core “I CAN’T” and I affirm “I CAN”, so long as I affirm “I can” there has to be the underlying belief that “I can’t.” Ralston talks about this in his book Pursuing Consciousness when it comes to beliefs, self-images, ideals, etc. I feel like I’m going crazy right now and this is getting worse every single day. This is exhausting. I want this to stop and I deeply want help. I don’t want “just accept yourself more” as I live in a house and an environment that is driving me mad. Self acceptance doesn’t help me move out. I tried learning programming, following the advice of @Bluebird who kindly helped give me some tips, after about a week of not being able to focus (struggling still now being off adderall and with ADHD) and feeling totally confused and still frustrated because the thought of being another programmer just eats at me and also because it’s so hard because of my ADHD, I had to stop. I have a life purpose but honestly it’s so demoralizing because it feels so beyond me. I’m tired of this man I just want help. I’m tired of feeling so dead and numb. Depression feels like nothingness and pain. It’s a hollowness that literally eats you away. I can’t afford therapy, I can’t afford neurofeedback, I can’t afford a life coach. Why did I have to grow up with a mom who tried killing herself every week? Why does my dad have to moralize to me? Why did I have to put on meds to that hurt me more in the long run and didn’t help anything? Why can’t I drop this addiction to suffering and this goddamn identity? Why can’t I just stop my mind for just 5 seconds? I don’t want anything other than help.

You are infinite Nothingness right now. When your body dies You Will "return" to Formlessness /Complete abscence of everything perceivable (Fundamental Reality/Infinite Love still remains). You are always it and you've always been it. We are Just waking You up. Don't want to freak You out but in Truth You are doing it.

Be careful not to limit God to nothingness. You are much more than that. When you become directly conscious that you are God you will realize you were perfect the entire time and you were living this life the entire time. It takes a lot more consciousness to see this though. So keep doing the work and the Truth will dawn