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Everyone Has Intuition, Even You All of God’s children are endowed with the highest intelligence: intuition, the all-knowing wisdom of the soul. Intuition is that power of Spirit inherited by the soul by which truth is perceived directly, without the medium of any other faculty. Intuition is soul guidance, appearing naturally in man during those instants when his mind is calm. Nearly everyone has had the experience of an inexplicably correct “hunch” or has transferred his thoughts accurately to another person. Every man has the power of intuition, as he has the power of thought. As thought can be cultivated, so intuition can be developed. In intuition we are in tune with Reality — with the world of Bliss, with the “unity in diversity,” with the inner laws governing the spiritual world, with God. …but it needs to be developed: In the life of every person, two forces of knowledge are operative from birth: (1) the power of human reason, along with its satellites of sensation, perception, conception, and so forth; (2) the power of intuition. The former is developed through social institutions and interactions. The latter usually remains uncultured, undeveloped, because of want of proper guidance and methods of training. So long as one’s intuition remains undeveloped, he is guided mainly by the limited understanding of mortal intelligence, with only occasional promptings of intuitive wisdom. Thus he engages in some good actions, but also in many wrong actions, and acquires many bad habits. Through the operation of the law of cause and effect, or karma, he finds himself following helplessly his own self-created destiny, which often leads to misery. A life can be successful, healthy, and complete — balanced with wisdom and happiness — when activity is guided by God’s inner, intuitive direction. The only way to know and to live in truth is to develop the power of intuition. Then you will see that life has a meaning, and that no matter what you are doing the inner voice is guiding you. While animals are guided primarily by instinct, and ordinary man is guided by his ego, the yogi who is united to the Self is guided by the soul. This intuitive power can be developed by learning the step-by-step methods of scientific deepest meditation that lead to Self-realization. Qualities of Intuition It is distinct from senses, thoughts, and intellect… “Intuition manifests in the calm consciousness as feeling, perceived mostly through the heart. When such feeling comes, you receive through it a definite sense of right direction and unshakable conviction.” The senses and mind are the outer doors through which knowledge percolates into the consciousness. Human knowledge filters in through the senses and is interpreted by the mind. If the senses err in perception, the conclusion drawn by the understanding of that data is also incorrect. A white gossamer cloth fluttering in the distance may look like a ghost, and a superstitious person believes that it is a ghost; but closer observation reveals the error of that conclusion. The senses and understanding are easily deluded because they cannot grasp the real nature, the essential character and substance, of created things. Man’s highest faculty is not reason but intuition: apprehension of knowledge derived immediately and spontaneously from the soul, not from the fallible agency of the senses or of reason. Intuition comes from within; thought, from without. Intuition gives a face-to-face view of Reality; thought gives an indirect view of it. Intuition, by a strange sympathy, sees Reality in its totality, while thought chops it up into parts. …and yet it includes feeling Beyond the senses and intellect, intuition manifests in the calm consciousness as feeling, perceived mostly through the heart. When such feeling comes in meditation, you receive through it a definite sense of right direction and unshakable conviction. Increasingly you will be able to recognize and follow this intuition. That doesn’t mean you give up reason. Calm impartial reason can also lead to intuition. Use common sense. But remember that arrogant or emotional reasoning leads to misconceptions and mistakes. “Pure reason and pure feeling both have intuitive qualities. Pure feeling sees as clearly as pure reason.” Pure reason and pure feeling both have intuitive qualities. Pure feeling sees as clearly as pure reason. Most women have a keenly developed intuition. Only when they become unduly excited do they lose their intuitive powers. Pure reason is also intuitive, if this power is sufficiently developed. Otherwise, should the premise be wrong, the conclusion will be wrong also. Sooner or later, every man who reasons clearly will develop true intuition, which never errs. You must feel as well as think; if you do not have feeling along with your thoughts, you will not always be successful in reaching the right conclusion. Feeling is an expression of intuition, the repository of all knowledge. Feeling and thought, or reason, must be balanced; only then does the divine image of God within you, the soul, manifest its full nature. Hence Yoga teaches one how to balance his powers of reason and feeling. One who does not have both equally is not a fully developed person. The harmonious balance of reason and feeling leads to intuitive perception and the ability to know what is Truth. Achieving this balance, men and women become gods. Consequences of Undeveloped Intuition Ignorance of what you really are: Undeveloped intuition is a crystal placed before the soul, producing a double image. The soul itself is the real image; the reflection is unreal — the ego or pseudosoul. The more undeveloped the intuition is, the more distorted the ego image will be. When human life is guided by this false identity, which is brought about by the presence of undeveloped intuition, it is subject to all the limitations and false notions of delusion. A chaotic existence of error and its consequences is therefore inevitable. “Anyone seeking success would accomplish more if he concentrated upon increasing the receptive quality of his brain cells, instead of depending just on books and college work for his progress.” When a man is identified with his body, he feels nothing more than the sensations of sight, smell, taste, touch, sound, weight, and movement....God sent man to earth to be entertained by the bodily dreams, not to obscure his consciousness of immortality by being identified with the body. If one can for a sufficient length of time remain unidentified with thoughts and sensations, and without being unconscious, he will know through the development of intuition the nature of the soul. “I am not the breath; I am not the body, neither bones nor flesh. I am not the mind or feeling. I am That which is behind the breath, body, mind, and feeling.” When you go beyond the consciousness of this world, knowing that you are not the body or the mind, and yet aware as never before that you exist — that divine consciousness is what you are. You are That in which is rooted everything in the universe. The advanced student should meditate deeply until his thoughts become dissolved into intuition. In the lake of intuition, free from the waves of thought, the yogi can see the unruffled reflection of the moon of the soul. Undeveloped intuition brings errors in judgment and wrong decisions. . . Errors in judgment are a result of not having developed intuition. Most of you have had the feeling that you could be great, and do great things; but because you have lacked intuitive power, that potential has, for the most part, remained dormant. Since the judgment of your mind is conditioned by the information fed to it by the senses, if your senses become deluded you may think a person is wonderful without knowing what he truly is inside. You may think you have found your soul mate, so you enter into matrimony; and then end up in the divorce court. But intuition will never make such a mistake. It will not look at the magnetic power of the eyes or at the attractive face or personality of a person, but will feel and perceive accurately in the heart what that person is really like. . . .while developed intuition brings success in life: To progress and to avoid the misery of mistakes, you have to find what is the truth in everything. This is possible only if you develop your intuition. That is the practical truth of the matter. That is why I am asking you to cultivate and use intuitive power in everything. In your relationships with others, in your business, in your married life, in every part of your life, intuition is essential. By not developing the faculty of intuition, you make wrong decisions, pick up the wrong business associates, and get caught up in wrong personal relationships. There is always uncertainty in depending only on the material ways of success. But the intuitive way of success is different. Intuitive perception can never be wrong. It comes by an inner sensitivity, a feeling by which you know in advance whether or not you are going to succeed by following your determined course. Many people, lacking intuition, put a lot of money into financial prospects that do not produce anything, and consequently they lose everything. I have been successful in every decision I have made through intuitive power. It never fails. The scientific man or the businessman or anyone seeking success would accomplish more if he concentrated upon increasing the receptive quality of his brain cells, instead of depending just on books and college work for his progress. The world starts with books and outside methods, but you should start by increasing the receptivity of your intuition. In you lies the infinite seat of all knowledge. Ways to Develop Intuition First develop common sense. . . Intuitive wisdom, though transcending ordinary knowledge, does not make one otherworldly or impractical; it is the parent of common sense, which is simply intuitional reaction to one’s environment. . . . then add some research and deliberate practice to set the stage for intuitional guidance: Learn all you can about your goal and the practical steps needed to achieve it. Whether you are investing your money, starting a business, changing your occupation, after you have investigated, compared, and applied your intelligence to the limit, don't rush headlong into it. When your reason and investigation points to one thing, then meditate and pray to to your inner God. In inner silence, ask your higher self if it is all right to go ahead. If you meditate deeply and earnestly and find that something is turning you from it, don’t do it. But if you have an irresistible positive impulse, and you meditate and pray and go on meditating and this impulse still persists, then go ahead. Your request for guidance must be sincere, so that whatever impulse you feel will be from God and not mere reinforcement of your own flawed desire. That is the way I developed the practical application of my intuition. Before starting any endeavor, I sit in meditative silence in my room and go on expanding that power in my mind. Then I throw the concentrated light of my mind on what I want to accomplish. “Only when restless thoughts cease can one hear the voice of God communicating through the silence of intuition....In the devotee’s silence God’s silence ceases.” Always ask your inner God - the True you - to guide you. If your ego is blind and has a strong voice, it may drown out intuition and mislead you. But if you seek only to please The Universe by your efforts to do something worthwhile, He will guide your footsteps from error to good. Meditation is the surest way. . . The surest way to liberate the expression of intuition is by meditation, early in the morning and before going to bed at night. Whenever you want to solve a problem intuitively, first go into deep meditation or silence, as you have been taught in the Lessons. Don’t think of your problems during meditation. Meditate until you feel that a sense of calmness fills the inner recesses of your body — until a divine happiness fills the inner recesses of soul — and breath becomes calm and quiet. Then concentrate simultaneously at the point between the eyebrows (Christ Consciousness Center) and the heart. Lastly, ask God to direct your intuition, so that you may know what you should do about your problems. The clear-thinking man should be distinguished from the man who thinks too much....Intuition manifests only in calmness; in the undeveloped man, it only occasionally peeps in through the loopholes of leisure periods of the active mind and restless senses. The clear-thinking individual does not allow intellect to overrule intuition; by his patient calmness, he permits the full play of intuition in guiding him to right determinations. To attain a higher state of consciousness and divine perception, it is necessary through meditation to withdraw the mind from its continual restless activity. In that interiorized state, spiritual sensitivity, or intuition, awakens. An advanced Kriya Yogi, who in samadhi meditation has withdrawn his consciousness and life force from the realm of the gross body and senses, enters that inner world of wisdom revelations. He becomes aware of the seven sacred altars of Spirit in the spine and brain, and receives all knowledge emanating from them. Thus in tune with truth through intuitive soul-perception, he knows invariably the correct guidance for all aspects of his spiritual and materially dutiful conduct. Let me be clear about something: the goal of yoga science is to calm the mind, that without distortion it may hear the infallible counsel of the Inner Voice. God speaks to you through your intuition. . . Spirit does not necessarily talk through the lips of a form in a vision, or a materialized human body, but may intimate words of wisdom through the medium of the devotee’s awakened intuition. God may counsel a devotee by assuming the form of a saint, but usually He adopts the simple method of speaking through the devotee’s own intuitive perception. God’s voice is silence. Only when restless thoughts cease can one hear the voice of God communicating through the silence of intuition. That is God’s means of expression. In the devotee’s silence God’s silence ceases. No devotee should be satisfied until he has sufficiently developed his intuition — by impartial introspection and deep meditation, as in Kriya Yoga — to experience the communion of soul and Spirit. If a devotee meditates intensely for at least short periods every day, and has longer periods of three or four hours of deep meditation once or twice a week, he will find his intuition becoming sufficiently superfine to realize unendingly the dialogue of blissful wisdom exchanged between the soul and God. He will know the interiorized state of communion in which his soul “talks” to God and receives His responses, not with the utterances of any human language, but through wordless intuitional exchanges. Real Religion Is Based Upon Intuition All bona fide revealed religions of the world are based on intuitive knowledge. Each has an exoteric or outer particularity, and an esoteric or inner core. The exoteric aspect is the public image, and includes moral precepts and a body of doctrines, dogmas, dissertations, rules, and customs to guide the general populace of its followers. The esoteric aspect includes methods that focus on actual communion of the soul with God. The exoteric aspect is for the many; the esoteric is for the ardent few. It is the esoteric aspect of religion that leads to intuition, the firsthand knowledge of Reality. Intellectual discourses about the Creator will not give you God. But by seeking Him within, making the effort every day, you will find Him. The way to God is not through the intellect, but through intuition. Ordinary human beings, studying and working with material life, are circumscribed in their understanding by their sense perceptions and rationalizing intelligence. With undeveloped intuition, their limited power of intellectuality cannot truly comprehend matters of the spirit even when such truth is expounded to them. Though colossal intellects and famous theologians may be well read about the soul, they may nevertheless understand little about it! On the other hand, even illiterates given to deep meditation will be able clearly to describe the nature of the soul from their own direct experience. Intuition bridges the chasm between intellectual knowledge of the soul and actual realization of the divine Self. Intellectual giants, masters of many languages, veritable walking libraries of knowledge and deductive philosophy, but who are devoid of the help of clear-eyed intuition, have a deluded intelligence — functional on the plane of relativity, but obstructive to divine wisdom. It is by intuition that God can be realized in all His aspects. We have no sense that can reveal knowledge of Him; the senses give knowledge only of His manifestations. No thought or inference can enable us to know Him as He truly is, for thought cannot go beyond the data of the senses; it can only arrange and interpret the impressions of the senses. “God is beyond mind and intellect…His true nature can be felt only through the soul’s power of intuition.” God is beyond mind and intellect…His true nature can be felt only through the soul’s power of intuition. We must find His consciousness through the superconscious mind — the nucleus of mind and intelligence. His infinite nature is revealed to man through the intuitive superconsciousness of the soul. The joy felt in meditation reveals the presence of Eternal Joy spread over all creation. The light seen in meditation is the astral light from which our tangible creation is made. Beholding this light, one feels a unity with all things. Intuition Produces True Wisdom, the Antidote to Kosmic Delusion Man is so drunk with delusion, it obliterates his true perception so that the darkness of his ignorance cannot apprehend the light of God vibrating everywhere. Both cosmic delusion (maya) and individual illusion or ignorance (avidya) work together to thus obscure and confound the soul’s inherent intuitive sense of God’s omnipresence. In meditation this darkness of sensory dependence goes away and intuition prevails, revealing oneself as light in the magnitude of a whole universe of light. When man is settled in that inner kingdom of divine consciousness, the awakened intuitive perception of the soul pierces the veils of matter, life energy, and consciousness and uncovers the God-essence in the heart of all things. When by meditation and devotional practice of divine teachings the soul’s intuition begins to guide the development of intelligence, it is then that delusion instead of wisdom is doomed to destruction. The Transcendent Vision This life is a master novel, written by you as God, and man would go crazy if he tried to understand it by reason alone. That is why I tell you to meditate more. Enlarge the magic cup of your intuition and then you will be able to hold the ocean of infinite wisdom. The devotee who transcends the myopia of body consciousness sees with the superior vision of divine intuition, and resolves all formerly incomprehensible dualities in the ecstatic perception of creation as Beauty and Joy. How expressively the Gita extols this truth: “adorned with countless celestial robes and garlands and ornaments” — the stars are His crown jewels; the earth His footstool; the lightning, thunder, storms, and cataclysms the flash of His accoutrements and snap of His cloak as He dances in joy the whirling rhythms of creation, preservation, destruction. Everything in the objective world is an added decoration to beautify the cosmic garment of God; behind all these is the hidden Divine Reality. Meditate with patience and persistence. In the gathering calmness, you will enter the realm of soul intuition. Throughout the ages, those beings who attained enlightenment were those who had recourse to this inner world of God-communion. Jesus said: “When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.” * Go within the Self, closing the door of the senses and their involvement with the restless world, and God - the real you - will reveal to you all His wonders. adapted from an article found in Self-Realization Magazine, fall 2011

Lol a few girlfriends that have awakened??? impossible

@JustinS you have awakened kundalini. The implications of this are for example that regular spiritual practices (self-enquiry,...), won't do any good. Te pandora's box had been opened, now it's time for god to work his magic. there's some nice info in this thread on kundalini.

@Blissout Realizing enlightenment means realizing your True nature (being). At this stage you disidentify with thoughts, your mind becomes still (thoughtless mind), you recognize the center from which everything comes into existence, you transcend the sense world....but the behaviour is still not fully aligned with the center and so you then start the process of embodyment( so your entire body reprograms itself to be in perfect alignment with this realization and center). Embodyment cannot happen if you don't use super powers. With the realization some super powers Will become activated but still one is in ignorance about those and so one needs to learn how to apply those to reality, which requires observation (to fully grasp what those super powers even do) trough long periods of time and a lot of time to fully process and integrate. Realization = mind becomes still (99,9% silent mind with no mental sounds), emotions can still fluctuate, addictions can still be present (depending on how much personal development one did prior to the realization), behavior is not yet aligned to bring one into center (from which the True Self can manifest everything by Devine Will), the breathing rhythm is automatically slow but can get out of sync. Embodyment = no addictions, centered, being able to manifest whatever, emotions are so good, it's better than orgasming 24/7, feels like you're a God, breathing is automatically very very slow and nothing brings it out of this rhythm in comparison with the realization when something can distort it's rhythm. Kundalini is fully awakened and it stays that way. Highest Creativity is active and nothing can stop it. This is what came to mind. This comes from first hand experience, nobody told me this. I have experienced periods that lasted for a few weeks that were like this full embodyment and It was God like, like literally, I was feeling and acting like a God. Hopefully I Will come to full embodyment by age 30. I'm 22 now.

Liberation is the permanent dissolution of the ego. Atman doesn't mean soul, even though it's translated as that. It means you are different from what you think you are. When referring to an individual we use the term atman. When referring to everything and everyone we use the term Brahman. A liberated person is God awakened. An egoic person is God dreaming. Both are God, but one hasn't realized their true nature yet. In Hinduism, it is believed that certain individuals are born liberated and remain that way throughout their life. They are Lord Rama, Krishna, and Kalki (future). They are Param Atman, which means fully liberated. They don't have to do anything special to become liberated. All other incarnations have Jiva atman. Which means they have more ego and need to succeed in meditation to become liberated. This is written by an enlightened sage named Parashara. It's a possibility that this is true. It could also be a concept. I'm open to both possibilities. My opinion is that everyone with a body and mind has to succeed in meditation or spiritual yoga. I don't think anyone is randomly liberated. For example, Rama and Krishna probably became liberated at a young age just like Ramana Maharshi and Ramakrishna. Then they decided to live their life however they wanted because once the ego was gone they're no longer affected by worldly activities. They could go to war, they could have sex, and do other things while experiencing the Infinite. If an egoic person has sex they remain trapped in the dream state. Some behaviors such as truthfulness, non-violence, celibacy, and others, produce ego death faster. These are outlined in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, but it's not the only method to liberation. I don't recommend anyone should suppress their desires. Otherwise they would go crazy. Sri Ramakrishna became liberated through many ways including Christianity and Islam. Here is a quote from The Gospel of Ramakrishna (highly recommended): The love of Rādhā is the precursor of the resplendent vision of Sri Krishna, and Sri Ramakrishna soon experienced that vision. The enchanting form of Krishna appeared to him and merged in his person. He became Krishna; he totally forgot his own individuality and the world; he saw Krishna in himself and in the universe. Thus he attained to the fulfilment of the worship of the Personal God. Swami Nikhilananda. Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna (Kindle Locations 1092-1095). Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center of New York, Inc.. Kindle Edition. In the above quote, he practiced Bhakti Yoga. He wasn't attached to a concept of God, but he had intense love for God itself. Most people love other things besides God. Here is another quote: “How silly! This jug is God! This cup is God! Whatever we see is God! And we too are God! Nothing could be more absurd.” Sri Ramakrishna came out of his room and gently touched him. Spellbound, he immediately perceived that everything in the world was indeed God. A new universe opened around him. Returning home in a dazed state, he found there too that the food, the plate, the eater himself, the people around him, were all God. Swami Nikhilananda. Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna (Kindle Locations 1884-1887). Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center of New York, Inc.. Kindle Edition. A spiritual master can give you these experiences, if you're a genuine seeker. Swami Vivekananda was an atheist before meeting Ramakrishna. Do you think ancient cultures had higher consciousness than we do? Do you think science and history lied about them?

@Richard Alpert if you feel it daily throughout the day your kundalini is awakened. If it was just a one-time(usually matter of minutes) thing, it doesn't have much meaning.

@Danda The absolute allows the space in which infinite perspectives may arise. Infinite perspectives of even itself. Whether someone is fully awakened, slightly awakened, or nowhere near awakened "robot without consciousness" each needs to be seen (and respected) as separate aspects of the infiniteness of the absolute. Sooner or later all separate individual perspectives will come to full realization that the many is really the one. Even though for some that may not happen until their last breath. But that too would be just one of the infinite possibilities of perspectives to be experienced before the separate beingness folds back into the absolute. 'On the absolute beingness appears- and out of that comes illusion. And the illusion occupies the truth'. The truth is there are no perspectives. For there to be perspectives there would have to be two. So that's my perspective of infinite perspectives arising on the absolute. Cherish each for it's uniqueness and have compassion when the individual perspective suffers. It wants nothing more than to find it's way home.

I went to a Satsang of Mooji yesterday. Crazy-ass shit haha. My mind was GOING CRAZY! Like hardcore judgements haha. But I stayed with that discomfort. And now... I feel rejuvenanated, renewed, refreshed. It was an interesting experience. I probably won't go there again, but it was fun to step outside my comfort zone. The challenge is going well. I am amazed that I am actually to keep my word and just commit to ONE practice. I feel kinda of guilty at times. At others, I get fearful thoughts such as "Oh... what if I don't feel good??" or "What if I mess up the day for not having 100000 practices?" Hahah... Life feels like summer vacation hahaha. Boring but at the same time I wouldn't trade it for anything ahhaha. It is so crazy that Umbanda place that I went. I just feel good, you know? Like I feel protected, you know? I feel like I could stay home doing nothing, and I would be feeling amazing either way. Hahaha. But I know that I cannot rest on my laurels. Like those low vibrational thoughts and emotions curse through my body and then they leave with no resistance from my part. This week I will probably go to a Osho Active Meditation class. Curious to see how that goes. I am also thinking about my next 21-day challenge. I feel in love with the 3-minute affirmation I am doing. So I might continue with that. Don't know... Some ideas include > Waking up at 4:30 AM > Completing a 5-thing to-do list > 10 minutes of pranayamic breathing (btw - I want to write a complete forum topic about this fascinating technique) One thing I want to do also is to fucking watch Leo's video. I get sloppy and I don't watch the fucking thing. I know that he is talking about very advanced shit, which I might not understand right now, so I will just trust him and allow those teachings to be heard by my subconscious mind. FULL FORCE STRIKE! Hahaha, this journal is a mess. I have changed so much since I started it... I kind of feel shy from those early posts hahaha... For some reason, I had gotten REALLY ATTACHED to the idea of "God" as something separate from me. This duality realtionship with God gives a sense of relief and hope in a way, but you start picking up some stupid beliefs. So... I am God. And God is me. But God is much greater than me. It will always be this case. I am just a character here, and I decide to play it well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Notes I had while I was talking to an Awakened friend. So I got this friend who has gone a massive spontaneous Samadhi for 15-fucking-days. Just by being in his presence, I feel more higher consciousness. He is a diligent meditator for over 10 years. One thing that I notice is how much tension I hold in jaw. It is crazy! I mean not only my jaw, but also all my chest area. He is like an angel. Why? Because he has the solutions to all my "problems". He knows all about chakras, meditation, and voice. All of these is what I need. He unconsciously holds the answer. So as everybody else. But in his case, it is more intense because I can really relate to what he is talking about. So here are the !!! insights !!!: I am afraid of chaos > I try to escape from it instead of confronting it in a mature way. > one thing that came to mind is to increase my resilience muscle. but sometimes it is really necessary to just stop, breathe, and relax. [with your mouth shut and using as little effort as you can]. > fear of going through immense and permanent pain. this becomes evident when I have a sore throat that is caused due to inadequate speaking (i use my throat too much when I am talking). so, to solve this shit, my friend told me to speak with a pen in-between my teeth and also to stick my tongue in and out 25 times everyday. However......... I WILL NOT COMMIT TO THIS PRACTICE NOW. I have set the intention of "i will do it whenever I remember it, and IF I haven't done it during the day." Why did I say that?? Simple: My ego loves to create excuses to be unhappy and unsatisfied with the present fucking moment. Seriously, no matter what I am doing, here comes the critic mind. So, to turn it off, I am doing things that might be a mistake in a conscious way. I have just realized that I am pretty fucking high conscious already, but the problem is: I am too fearful. Therefore, I am allowing myself to make mistakes, go through the pain, and eventually seek help. So, in other words, this friend is helping me out alleviate my sore throat and I am learning how to speak correctly. Unnattentive when my ego becomes uninterested in some subject, it automatically shuts off my attention. seriously, i stop listening. and, now that I have become more confident, I am able to manipulate the conversation into going to another direction without the person noticing. It is really weird to see that happening. Some months ago, when I had a burst of confidence for the first time since I began acting like a Social Anxiety type of person, my attitude towards being bored with what someone was talking about was very simple: I would diverge the person's attention by pointing out to something of the external world. So, for example, if I were talking with you on the street and I was freaking bored out of my mind from what you were talking about, I would say something like, "Oh...! Look at that beautiful tree!" When in an ego backlash, minimize the damage Pretty obvious, huh? But seriously dude, you have no idea how much your ego can backfire on you. So watch out and enjoy the moments of opening that you have. Everything is here to help This is a belief I want to instill in me. I am already doing it, actually. The idea is simple: this is a conscious confirmation bias. Because I have a negative bias towards myself, I am applying force the other way around. Hahaha! Thanks for teaching me about how to hack the system , Leo! You are too nice? Act like an asshole. You are too rigid? Act like a lazy-ass pot smoker. You are too relax? Be more rigid like a executive. This way, you will explore contrasts, which is a super important aspect to finding the Gold way the devil lives in your jaw social anxiety contributes to tension in the jaws. seriously, my biggest inner demon is social anxiety. it is the fear, the guilt, the anger... that is what the Devil really is. It is the unconscious behaviors I don't even see happening. It is the unconsciousness. It is me. Play the roles REALLY. Like immerse yourself COMPLETELY IN THEM. And BAM! There lies the second stage of Awakening. This is a response I thought of for a question on a YT's question. He asked something like, "Oh... what happens after I know the One in All? It is very easy to get dettached from your roles, but actually when you dive deep into them and is not scared by any character of your play, BAM!!!!!!!!!! We hit the next stage. So it is more a matter of becoming more peaceful in the midst of shit. Not running away from shit, but to actually embrace what is coming to your field. B3C0M3 an 1NSTRU3M3NT 0F TH3 D1V1N3 How? By invoking My Name. Then, your main character to YOURS3LF will become G0D. Nobody is supposed to understand you. Just be super kind to others and really yourself, and BAM! That's as much as you can help anybody. This is your experience. Nobody else knows that you are here. So just invoke my fucking name, for crying out loud. This is God. Just say that when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Prayer: 1- GOD, USE ME TODAY! [IN THE M0RN1NG] 2- GOD, THANK YOU FOR USING ME TODAY! [AT N1GHT] This is a letter I -- as God -- wrote to myself. I felt like I received this from the Cosmos. Seriously, just by setting this intention two times a day is enough for the divine to shine through every possible aspect of your life and make life beautiful and pleasant once again. All it takes is 3 seconds of sincere, sorry for this word, faith. Faith in what? In a superior being, in all the perfect attributes of a being (Hello, Jesus? :P) Anyway, all religion is pointing to the same direction. So in this prayer, I "invoked" God, which really is an element of my subconscious mind, and I simply said to myself what I need the most in the moment. It is as simple as it can be. There is nothing to figure out. Just Call My Name. [credits to Matt Kahn] Listen 3 seconds more I often get socially anxious. When I externalize the anxiety, it becomes very annoying to everyone around me. Because I simply stop listening However, if I am able to increase the time that I listen for 3 more seconds, there lies the answer to my question. Who generates this whirldwind of questions? The anxious mind. It is as if I needed to participate in everything 100%. No, no, no. Just sit down and listen to others. Let your body go crazy. If you feel the authentic need to stop the person, do it. But avoid that. Only do it if you are about to explode Hahaha. Old signatures: I am going to update my signature. But I want to record them here. So this is the one that I had "Master the art of Half-Assing The problem is not your sins. The problem is that you care too much. Decide to be happy [content] with the present fucking moment."

That sounds like a huge change, but in the end there doesn't seem to be another opportunity. Honestly, I already considered going to a monastery or so. I believe in the energy of the presence of those people. In one week, I start studying industrial engineering, but I consider myself incapable of integrating, my reality is clouded. I cant even imagine learning because I am really blank most of the day. I've worked in a really boring job since August which was supposed to distract me, but after 8 weeks it left me much worse than before. Man before all this mental sh*t in February, I dreamt of studying, I looked foward to a bright future. But all I want now is definitely not the future. It would tear me down if I failed studying. But I've always been a massive worrier, therefore I considered DPDR to be my awakening. But I am still dwelling on this, on my inner voice that wants me destroyed since August and I dont know why. All I did was dwelling very much on the suicide of Chester Bennington and before I've always wanted to be cured BEFORE August, but it didnt happen and that was another thing which threw me off the track. I asked one, lets say awakened and very aware Dude who helped me through my anxiety times, and he told me that it isnt important to know, that I should let silence answer my worries. All I can focus on the whole day, whether it is during work or at home, is the inner mess, which distorts my perception of the past and the future. Sometimes I feel guilty, because I cant appreciate my life as I actually should. There are millions of other teens that would give everything for the life I'm living. One of the few things that keeps me alive is the appreciation, that my town isnt bombed 24/7, that I actually have everything, food etc.. what other people dream of. I also hate self-pitying and that I do it so often. But that all doesn't change much regarding my mental state. Whilst meditating I notice myself automatically believing those thoughts like "I shouldnt be here anymore". But how can I "disbelieve" thoughts that are already deeply embedded and believed? Does anyone have experiences with "the art of living happiness" program? Or more exactly Sudarshan Kriya? I think that would be a first step.

That's the point nobody from that awakened perspective anymore but right now that idea just does not seem right to me because at least now my ego stops me to do bad things like that. What if after awakening when nothing stops you anymore you actually do more of these evil stuff?

At some point, perhaps, if you want to. But Look at near death experiences and how people experience the bliss of subtle realms. Look at ego death. Look at natural life. Only emotionally suppressed humans experience the greatest deal of suffering. AND STILL life is generally experienced as beautiful here for a large part. And this is just one phase in our evolution as a species. And awakened beings speak about how much better life is, so much grander than the best unawake moments. So trust yourself, trust life, you know you are good at heart. And can you honestly say life hasn't been beautiful for you too? I hope you may find this as useful as I find it, it's epic

21 is too low imo. Probably there are teachers today where hundreds of people got awakened with.

@Amit There's a huge problem revolving around the use of the word god. Even spiritual teachers attempt to use it less and less now because of the huge illusion it creates. When the vast majority of people think of 'god' they mainly think of a male idol that should be worshiped and is watching is from above the clouds. But this causes leads us further away from the path of spirituality as it creates a egoistic illusion of god and makes us believe that we can never be something like that, and he will always be superior to us mere mortals. And so we should have the obligation to worship him. Which is why the beauty of most religions has been lost, as they too were a pathway to enlightenment. But, if you are heading down the spiritual path you will find that god is your inner Buddha (known as your awakened-self is god). However, what you will find when you look into this more is that more information is contradictory and paradoxical, due to the culture and tradition influencing our minds decisions. So, to put it simply find it out yourself by meditating daily, because god can be understood partially at a conceptual level. But, not fully understood unless it has been experienced by the deep rooted truth that lies within us all. Good luck! Knowing what god is regardless of what you currently think.

So, it finally clicked for me. The fact that we are all the same energy, like apples that fall from the same tree. Everything in nature is this same energy too, at varied levels of consciousness. I was awakened to the fact that my body is basically just a machine, like Leo has said in his videos. For a long time, I had believed this was possibly true but never really felt or experienced it. I feel like this insight is huge and I am blown away by how much better I have felt for the past 2 days. Just months ago, I was in so much psychological pain I was putting a gun up to my head and turning the safety on and off, desperate to escape and feeling so confused. I feel like I’ve had glimpse of what it’s like to be truly happy, so what I fear now is losing this insight. I don’t want to go back to the way I was. I want to keep seeing myself in everyone, I love it. I believe some of the people on this forum must have had an experience like this. What did you do after this realization? How should I continue from here?

@Preetom The person who started this topic made some very solid points about kundalini as well. ignore all the advaita petty fights there, there is some good info. Another 2 people who educate about kundalini are Jan Esman (hope I spelled it right) and Rali -naked reality (only in the past months or so though, when his kundalini awakened.) Another thing worth mentioning is usually kundalini is activated After self-realization occurs. Your (and my case) is truly rather unusual, but it does happen.

@Preetom sounds like kundalini indeed. Dont be mistaken active kundalini doesnt mean instant enlightenment. What kundalini does is that it deconstructs one's stuck nervous system, that creates an egoic perception of reality. This can take years (and will). Treat it with respect and love, be kind to yourself, I recommend Matt Kahn, all of his stuff is brilliant for a person with awakened kundalini. Some breathwork is useful at times, but only at certain phases. You must go with what resonates. Be ready to take a bunch of naps, go on eating streaks and insomnia. All of your cellular memory that stores trauma will surface eventually. This is no joke, it is hell! It is the dark night of the soul. And I cannot emohasize this more. Be kind to yourself my dearest friend. I wish you courage on your journey of transformation. And know that any kind of discomfort is only here to remind you how strong you are, by showing you what youre capable of surviving. Feel free to educate yourself on kundalini, beware of a lot of nonsense. Apply only relevant stuff that works well with your direct experience. Much love, and welcome on your journey home :). May you be blessed with good fortune.

There generally is a difference between kundalini happening (1 time thing), and awakening, which is constant energy movement all-day, every-day, supposedly peaking in GOD-consciousness. When kundalini awakened in me, I just thought it was normal for everyone who meditates ?. Thanks for the answer, it looks like it just depends on the individual no matter the catalyst.

Soo, I am just back from my Vancouver vacation. I met @Be Yourself who lives there and he introduced me to the place. Thanks for that again. It was very nice. He got me some of that good BC weed, we had a lot of very deep discussions about the whole journey and we actually tripped on acid together and shared a nice trip. It was very spiritual in many regards. Cheers to you, man. Plus, I went to a concert of one of my favourite rappers who actually inspired me with a song to create this avatar, called Azrael. I'll come back to that city and probably move there in a few years. This trip report - however - is about an experience that I had like a month ago that is by far the deepest I ever went. It took me so long to put this into words because it was so profound that I have actually a hard time thinking about it. Even right now it's kinda hard. When I trip these days I always trip on 5-MeO, doesn't matter which psychedelic I choose. If I do shrooms as I did in this experience, it's 5 hours of 5-MeO combined with shrooms. This brings tripping to a whole new place for me. Because there is a very distinct difference in having a nice and profound experience compared to having a complete dissolution of your normal perspective and going to a different place. I'll talk about that in a second. I think I went to the same place @Leo Gura went in this trip. I've talked to him about that. Of course I can only listen to his description and my trip was very different, but it's like you go to Mars. It doesn't matter what place you visit on Mars, if you hear somebody talking about it you know whether he went there or not if you went there yourself. It feels like that. So I had a very big smile on my face when I listened to the video. You know that shit gets serious when Leo doesn't start with "Hey Leo" no more. But let's go back in time roughly a month ago. I'm in my apartment, currently learning for my exams for over a month now. I'm a little exhausted from that. Also, I got the first harvest from my shrooms grow kit that is fully dry now. I got a golden teacher grow kit for the first time and it brought me some nice, all natural shrooms. So I'm thinking lets try the shrooms. It's in the evening, I weigh 3,5g of the shrooms and cut them into little pieces. Now I know that when I do 3+ grams of shrooms these days where I'm headed. But I didn't expect where it would take me this time. So, I eat the shrooms, drink some orange juice, put on my favourite tripping music mix and lie down on my bed. In the beginning I just chill, relax and wait for it to come up. So I wait. After like 20 minutes I feel that it starts. I get the typical super meditative shrooms vibe. Everything calms down, looks very sharp and nice. The body load comes on quite heavy, so I just try to relax more and get into it. I close my eyes and just breathe. The first thing that happens is that my body feeling slowly goes away. Before my awakening shrooms would always get rid of my tensions. Now I don't have a lot of my tensions in my body any more, but I can still feel it. So it feels like a wave is going through my body every few seconds and deletes the feeling of having a body quite drastically. I watch this and at some point it is totally gone. My eyes are closed at this point and I'm super relaxed. The body load is completely gone because there is no body any more. Ok went there before here and there. Then, the deconstruction of my personal perspective begins. You can picture it like a head that slowly deconstructs into all the pieces that it is made of. It's ego death to the fullest. It feels like going away. Firstly the concentration in the eyes deconstruct to the point where I cannot perceive sight any more. Then listening deconstructs to the point where I cannot hear any more. Then feeling goes away as well. At last there comes the ability to think, the total deconstruction of mind and through that the total dissolution of your personal perspective that is kept up by all these ways of perceiving. As the mind falls into a thousand pieces a lot of very scary things come up. I relive some of the bad things that happened to me in life. I also relive how I am eaten by a tiger and a crocodile, some crazy stuff happens. In the beginning it's very uncomfortable, but as I go through some of these scenarios I naturally begin to just take the pressure of the intense situation and ride on that. Then at some point they are finished and the last thing I think is "I am about to die". It is that cold and clear. I went a few times to this point in prior trips and it never went beyond on shrooms. Sometimes I freaked in the last moment and stopped the trip. This time - and I don't know why - I just took it because I was ready. It was okay. So at this point I feel "myself" to be a little electronic impulse going through my neurons. That's the last thing that is left of me. All the body is gone, all the senses are gone, all thinking gone - the present still remains. And I am now this tiny, tiny impulse in my head. Then at some point even that goes away. And when that happens, it feels like I am total presence, but still locked in this world, just that everything else went away. It then feels like this presence expands and expands to the margin of its reality and then it pops. It's like there is a man in a balloon and that is his life. The man is always in the centre of the balloon so he can never actually touch it. When he seems to move, the balloon moves. All that happens for him, happens in the balloon. He doesn't know that he lives in a balloon and he doesn't know how the balloon world works because the actual reality of the balloon is axiomatic to his existence. That means, that there is a bigger reality outside of the balloon that shapes and forms the balloon reality. It is an implication of the bigger reality and so can never fathom this bigger reality because it's a part of it. When I did the shrooms, first the little body of the man went away, then the head space of the man went away, then the balloon was left and then it blew up to the point where it exploded. I cannot really perceive how this felt. I think I saw some stuff, but it is not important either way. It felt like being sucked out of reality from behind. Like someone would grab you from behind out of this world. Quite crazy. Now the personal reality is totally gone. Azrael is totally dead. What happened. I still have a few pictures of the place that I went to and I can clearly see how I came back into the personal reality after it. So let me try to describe it. It feels like I am coming out of a book page in front of me into some place. I don't have a body, I cannot really think, but I can somehow perceive. Firstly, it is totally apparent to me who I am - God himself. Secondly, I instantly realize that I am coming out of a dream and that I have done this before. Then I see this book in front of me and the pages of the book turn by themselves very quickly and I see countless dreams. As I look into them it feels like I download countless bits of insights and information but it happens so fast that I cannot make something out of it. Then it goes to one specific page which shows me the nature of relativity - the explosion of Yin & Yang. I see into it and go through endless dreams as God. I go through the scenario of being eaten again by a tiger and a crocodile as God and it does nothing to me. I feel nothing. I can see it clearly but I feel nothing. It's just an intense experience that happens but nothing more. It's not even intense in that situation. It's just one dream world. Then I go into a lot of other worlds and I see how they manifest in nothingness. I see how they come up in this book and I see how they have endless structures and dynamics to them. It's happening really fast so I just get a a glimpse of that. But it doesn't matter what happens in the dreams because I begin to understand how they work. All of this time insights and information hit me. I don't know why and how and can't even explain how it feels, but it's just clear that it happens. Then after this the book turns to the page of my dream "called Azrael" again and then I slowly turn into this. It really feels like going into the page. While this is happening everything turns black and I see a thousand little particles in this blackness arise. It feels like a concept space arises and it slowly gets together and creates a total conceptual reality in this pure empty presence. And as it does it I become that. As this happens I remember that I went through this before. When I was born the first time into this perspective. Now I'm back in this dream, in "my room", in "my body" and it slowly begins to work again. I breathe for the first time again. The body feeling slowly comes back. the mind comes back. I'm still completely aware that I am God and I am completely aware that everything here is conceptual. Conceptual and non-existent to the point that I could cut myself with a knife and I wouldn't feel it. I was in that mode for a few more hours after the trip until it closed down to my normal awakened reality. But to this day I can sense how this dream works. How it comes into existence every moment and that it is completely conceptual. Completely groundless. Now, this is the best I can describe what happened. It doesn't even cover 1% of what really happened because it sounds that I just went bad shit insane. It surely does. And maybe I cannot convince you that I didn't, but that's fine. From this day on it changed completely how I perceive the world because I saw for the first time how it actually manifests. Bad shit insane. I would have never thought that our dream reality is that fucking crazy. If you are brought up with the normal scientific paradigm that you live on a planet and are this body it is bad shit insane to see that this actually is a complete conceptual, groundless dream happening in nothingness. In nothing at all. In a concept space. Soo, that's the trip. What can we make out of it. Firstly, let's get rid of some misguiding perceptions. Is the place with the book the place where you go after you die? The place itself, probably yes. The stuff with the book and shit, probably not. Why? It became apparent to me when I went there that relative reality is actually not one reality but an endless fractal of realities. So we live in our dream right now that has certain properties. It looks a certain way, it works a certain way, it feels a certain way. There is a concept space of stuff that can happen and there is a creative, intelligent force that makes certain stuff appear in this concept space. It's like a river of patterns and structures that is flowing to you right now from nothingness that makes up everything you are in this dream. Now this dream concept space is enforced by another reality, another concept space that is axiomatic to the dream. It creates the dream. So there are different things to see there, to feel there and to perceive there. Stuff works there a different way, but it works also in a certain way. Just as we are able to build a car in this dream, the reality behind that is able to create these dreams. How it does that, I don't know. What else you can do in this space, I don't know. Are you still some kind of individual in that space, it's strange. I felt to be God and absolute - just as on normal 5-MeO very clearly but at the same time it had an individual aspect to it. I will need more trips to explore that. So the stuff that I saw there and experienced there is as relative as it is in this dream. It's just that it's a different concept space, a different reality. That's why you will see different things there, because it's a different world to explore. And lastly, this is not the end stage. As I said, relative reality seems to be an infinite fractal of realities. That means that the dream you are living right now is implicated by the place I went to and the place I went to is implicated by another reality. And it seems to go on like this. Just because it's relative, completely conceptual and groundless. So, to sum things up. When you die, your dream ends for sure. Your current relative reality pops. You'll then probably go to the place where I went. I'd guess. How it'll be for you, I don't know. What will happen there for you, I don't know. I don't even know what'll happen for me there. But something will happen in some way or another. Reality is actually a fractal of realities, one creating the other, totally groundless, totally conceptual. You can realize that this is so right here and now, in this dream. You can go there yourself and experience how it is like to die and be born. You can be God. Well, you are God any way. Now, I know myself that this is a big pill to swallow. And trust me it's even harder when you experience it yourself. That being said, understand that I just describe in the best way I can how it was for me. It is still a description and can never portray to you that this is actually the case. Maybe it convinces you, probably not. That's fine. It's enough that I have seen it for myself. What you have to do now if you wanna experience the explosion of Yin & Yang, the nature of relativity, is to go there yourself and see that this is so. To do that you just need some 5-MeO trips and then every psychedelic that you'll take after will with time bring you there. For sure. I'll let you know whether I go to this place again in future trips and if I do, what I can bring back. Until then, be good to yourself. Cheers, Azrael PS: I'm thinking right now to go to the US next summer and visit some big cities so that I can make a decision whether Vancouver is the right place for me or not. I'd like to see a little bit of the east coast and then some more of the west coast. So, if you live in a big well-known city that is exciting, let me know. Maybe we'll meet.

I've had glimpses before. But they were mostly like five seconds at most. This was the real deal. This Saturday evening I decided to go to the beach by train (which is like one stop away from me), smoke a joint, take a walk and do some inquiry, or even just to relax a bit. Whatever, I had nothing big planned at all. I do this almost every other week but this time things were different. What I noticed is that an unusual amount of fear surfaced. It was a warm day so there were still lots of people around which triggered some fears in me. It felt like everyone was looking at me, judging me... You know the usual, which I thought I had resolved already. Not at all. It became so intense and my ego started fighting it more and more. I had not expected this so after awhile I decided to turn around to return to my train and get home. By this time the fears had grown into thoughts of going insane, of fainting, of losing control. So I started to walk faster and faster until I reached my train. I sat down, totally panicked, but I'm pretty good with keeping these things to myself so I don't think anyone could really notice. Maybe because I was sitting comfortably that I was able to face these fears now. But I looked at these feelings and found out what they were. It occurred to me that they were like waterbubbles trying to pull you away from the water. I don't know why this is the analogy I went with, but that's exactly what it felt like. Remember I smoked a joint, so things got very conceptual. Anyways, fears kept rising up but I wasn't really afraid of them anymore. I saw that they were made of this same 'water.' Which made it all very clear to me. And then it happened. The last thought I remember that arose before it happened was 'I AM ALL OF IT!' Boom, awakening... I don't know why it happened at this moment. But it just happened. I saw reality. And it felt like I've seen it a million times before. It was there for all of my life. I saw a train moving and there were some people in it. I was in it. Sounds were literally just sounds. Utterly complex sounds but just sounds nonetheless. It was so serene and empty. Words aren't able to describe it but it's literally just 'life happening'. That's the reason why it's so familiar. Cause that's what it has always done. It's also a lot more 'normal' than I had imagined it to be. Then for a moment, thought would interfere and I got scared shitless. I decided to return to the egoic state... Which is pretty insane to think about. I literally created a new fear so I had something to hold on to. But no, this awakening had to happen today. And so it returned. And this is when the awakening became permanent. At least for the next seven hours. My train had reached it's destination and I got out. Huge smile on my face. No thought. Just walking. Walking towards my home. (I live very close to the trainstation.) Then thought returned, going completely bonkers about the amazing thing 'it's' experiencing, but this time they were no longer mine. I witnessed them. Even the identification I still had with thought, was witnessed. So it was all good. And the first thing I noticed, is whatever thought arose, a feeling came with it. And this feeling INSTANTLY healed as I looked at it. And this was the great miracle. Everything I witnessed, healed. Now I'm not sure if this includes the external world (as it all felt as one), but at least all feelings, all thought, all ego was healed if only I would take the time to simply look at them. Awareness truly is curative! In the most literal sense. It made me really understand why Awareness is referred to as God. Back home, I started to investigate what was happening. The recurring thoughts were; 'It was already so. It was already so. My god, it was already so.' I started to write in my journal. All very short sentences, kind of like riddles. It's in dutch, but I might translate it one day and share it with you because some beautiful words were written, if I say so myself. One of the biggest insights I had was finally understanding the 'hidden in plain sight' part of spirituality. And when I did, I laughed out loud. It basically comes down to the following question: Do you see reality? Yes Well, that's it. Reality is it. Everyone would answer yes to this question right? That 'yes', is enlightenment. Because it has always been yes. Awakening is merely realising that. Really, read that again. It's so simple and dumb yet it points to the ultimate truth. It's just an oversight. The seeing of reality, is the thing you are looking for. But you were already doing that! Of course you are. From the awakened point of view it's all so damn simple. You just witness reality. No further questions. And then you realise, that even though there's nothing there. There is life. OH MY GOD, THERE IS LIFE. Do you see why it's such a miracle? There shouldn't be life, because there's nothing there. Yet there is life all the same. Haha, it's so hard to explain this. But I completely lost it, when I realised that. And then at one point, ego panicked. And this was a profound moment. Because I was no longer identified with it. So it wasn't me that was panicking. If someone would have walked in at that moment they would've thought I was depressed or gone insane. And 'I' was. But behind it all, there was laughter and peace. Ego was thinking 'I want to go back,' 'what would my friends think of me like this,' 'what if this is forever? 'I'll never be able to function properly again.' And so on, and so on. It was just patterns playing itself out. And as said, every thought came with a feeling that was being felt completely and therefor it healed. After a couple of hours, more and more the thought; 'Do I still have it?' came up. It was quite the paradox since from Awareness' point of view, there is nothing to lose. So the funny thing was, I was completely convinced this would never leave me again. I was enlightened. And then sleep came. And I wasn't. It was ego waking up Identified as it's little self again. Which is fine. This entire experience was a complete shift in paradigm all the same. I don't feel different at all. But now I know. Now I know there's nothing to search for. It is already so. Even now that I'm identified with the separate self again, there is this knowing. A trust. Trust that whatever arises, is seen by 'that'. Even now. The next couple of days, there was a lot of energy released in my body. It was everything that was looked at during the awakening. It was that powerful. Kundalini I guess? I don't know a lot about that, so I'm mostly guessing. Doesn't really matter too much anyway. Looking back at this, there were a couple of things that really stood out to me. First of all. No bliss. Not at all. Absolute peace, yes. But no bliss. And the funny thing is, back then, I couldn't care less. When I say peace. It doesn't mean peace in the positive sense of the word. It just means nothingness, emptiness. From ego's point of view, it's quite a 'cold' peace. That's why ego doesn't really like it. It's so empty, it has no qualities. The other thing that stood out was how much of a role ego still plays even when realised. That really took me by surprise, I always had this idea of a full awakening from ego. Which you do, but at the same time, it doesn't mean it disappears even in the slightest. Even addictions were still there. I guess that's the reason it didn't stay permanently. There is just too much of a pull from ego. I didn't care at the moment, but after seven hours or so, it succeeded. (Or so, it thinks ) So, yeah. I guess that's a real lesson for anyone here. Be prepared for that! I wasn't. You don't want this. It's the only reason you don't have it. You don't really want it. That's a hard pill to swallow. But it's true. It's worth it all the same though. My god, the fear! There's so much fear! It really showed me how much work there is still to be done. The good news though, I now know awareness heals. Not by believing it. But by having witnessed it myself. This is the shift. It's like this awakening has showed me the disease and the cure simultaneously. Really profound. Isn't it amazing that my first proper awakening happened in a train that dropped me off at the 'next' stop. And that next stop turned out to be home. I try not to attach too much value onto symbolism like that, but man... It's beautiful, isn't it? Thanks for reading this. English isn't my first language so I hope it's easy to read! I wasn't planning to share this, but here we are. So much words, and I'm not even a talker. An introvert even. Go figure. Feels like I can talk about this forever!

@Sukhpaal Yes I love this topic!! It has been swimming in my head a lot lately. I recently admitted that I don't yet know what real love is. I only know my ego's concept of real love... which is a kind of "love" that fortifies my ego's existence. My ego's idea of love is a love that showers me with attention all the time and never stops validating me. Now I don't quite yet know what real love is, but I can imagine that real love will not feed your ego all the time. maybe just a little to make you feel good but real love will let you sit and feel the ego's hunger for validation, and someone who is seeking to understand and experience real love will let themselves sit with the discomfort of the ego crying out for validation. Real love might be uncomfortable to the not-yet-awakened. I have experienced a lot of suffering in my recent relationships because of the expectations I place on my girlfriends, and I'm finally accepting that I might not have been receiving real love. More importantly, I had not been GIVING real love! So I continue the endeavor of understanding how to give and receive real love. Thank you for posting this!

When you ask this question, you actually are identifying with your brain. Because who is asking the question, is your brain, it is just thoughts. So the you who you referring to in this post, is your brain, or your thoughts. But it is not really who you are. If you were not your brain, you would be fully awakened already. @Socrates said pointed it out simply but powerfully. Your thoughts, are just one of many things in the your true self's experience.

@harisankartj Ego death is the humbling of the self. If anything you would become more of a servant to the world in one form or another. And for the proper cause. For some that maybe for the first time in their life because they now see things from an awakened perspective. Before ego death they may have only viewed the world through the eyes of their ego and that was their only real motivation. You know what I mean?- that "what's in it for me" perspective of the world.

Whenever you love someone you feel totally helpless. That is the agony of love: one cannot feel what one can do. You want to do everything, you want to give the whole universe to the lover or the beloved, but what can you do? If you think that you can do this or that you are still not in a love relationship. Love is very helpless, absolutely helpless, and that helplessness is the beauty because in that helplessness you are surrendered. Love someone and you will feel helpless; hate someone and you can do something. Love someone and you are absolutely helpless because what can you do? Whatsoever you can do seems insignificant and meaningless; it is never enough. Nothing can be done, and when one feels that nothing can be done, one feels that one is helpless. When one wants to do everything and feels nothing can be done, the mind stops. In this helplessness surrender happens. You are empty. That is why love becomes a deep meditation. The Book of Secrets, Talk #13 The moment of the death of someone you have loved deeply brings your own death into your mind. The moment of death is a great revelation. It makes you feel impotent and helpless. It makes you feel that you are not. The illusion of being disappears. Anybody will be shaken because suddenly you see that the ground underneath your feet has disappeared. You cannot do anything. Somebody is dying that you love: you would even like to give your life but you cannot. Nothing can be done; one simply waits in deep impotence. That moment can make you depressed. That moment can make you sad or that moment can send you on a great journey for truth...a eat journey into the search. What is this life? If death comes and takes it, what is this life? What meaning does it carry if one is so impotent against death? And remember, everybody is on his or her deathbed. After birth everybody is on his deathbed. There is no other way. All beds are deathbeds, because after birth only one thing is certain and that is death. Somebody dies today, somebody tomorrow and somebody the day after tomorrow: what is the difference basically? Time cannot make much difference. Time can only create an illusion of life but the life that ends in death is not and cannot be the real life. It must be a dream. Life is authentic only when it is eternal. Otherwise, what is the difference between a dream and what you call your life? In the night, in deep asleep, a dream is as true as anything is, as real – even more real than what you see with open eyes. By the morning it is gone, not even a trace is left. In the morning when you are awake you see it was a dream and not a reality. This dream of life continues for a few years; then suddenly one is awakened and the whole of life proves to be a dream. Death is a great revelation. If there were no death there would be no religion. It is because of death that religion exists. It is because of death that a Buddha was born. All buddhas are born because of the realization of death. When you go and sit by the side of a dying person feel sorry for yourself. You are in the same boat, in the same plight. Death will knock on your door any day. Be ready. Before death knocks, come back home. You should not be caught in the middle; otherwise this whole life disappears like a dream and you are left in tremendous poverty, an inner poverty. Life, real life, never dies. Then who dies? You die. The “I” dies, the ego dies. The ego is part of death; life is not. So if you can be egoless, then there is no death for you. If you can drop the ego consciously, you have conquered death. If you are really aware you can drop it in a single step. If you are not so aware you will have to drop it gradually. That depends on you. But one thing is certain: the ego has to be dropped. With the disappearance of the ego, death disappears. With the dropping of the ego, death is also dropped. Don’t feel sorry for the dying person, feel sorry for yourself. Let death surround you. Have the taste of it. Feel helpless, impotent. Who is feeling helpless and who is feeling impotent? The ego – because you see you cannot do anything. You would like to help her and you cannot. You would like her to survive but nothing can be done. Feel this impotence as deeply as possible and out of this helplessness, a certain awareness, a prayerfulness and a meditation will arise. Use the person’s death; t is an opportunity. Use everything as an opportunity. Be by their side. Sit silently and meditate. Let their death become a pointer to you so that you don’t go on wasting your life. The same is going to happen to you. Osho, The Search, Talk #10

@Leo Gura Great timing for me to be hearing these words. I've re-awakened today after a bit of a slumber. Thanks to Az also. I see all of it perfectly clear now. It opened up like the sun has come out. Everything is here now. It forever rests in it's completeness.

@123456789 Here is the explanation of 7th bhumika given in yoga vashista: Rishis say that the seventh janaana bhoomikaa is the last frontier of the realm of Jnaana. It is pure peace and cannot be explained by the power of speech. Words cannot describe that state of sublime quiescence. That is the ultimate stage – there is nothing more beyond that. After experiencing that state, some call it Siva, some people say it is Para Brahma, some people say it is Vishnu; and yet some say it is Soonya – Nothingness. Some people say it is Pure Energy, some say it is unconditioned Time; and some say it is Prakruti and Purusha. The Ultimate Reality cannot be explained by words, but still people call It by different names. After having this realisation, some start thinking about it in different manners, according to their capacities. Although it cannot be explained by anybody at any time, still they would be trying to explain it somehow. ......................................................... Here is the explanation of the stages 4, 5,6,7 given by Sri Abhinava Vidyatirtha MahaswaminaH, the 35th Jagadguru of Sringeri Peetham, (mutt established by Shankara): A jñànin involved in worldly activities is referred to as a brahmavid. If a jñànin has the practice of going into nirvikalpa-samàdhi and coming out of it on his own, he is a brahmavidvara. If he can be awakened from nirvikalpasamàdhi only by the efforts of others, he is a brahmavidvaräyàn. A brahmavidvariShTha is one who never emerges from nirvikalpa-samàdhi. His body perishes while he is in samàdhi. As a brahmavidvariShTha has the best pràrabdha, he is deemed the greatest jñànin.