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Some poems I have written: When do we realize what's good for us? When does the resolution come? What state are you in? Crying. Primal, primitive energies bloating themselves, ammasing. What's the matter? Addictions, over and over again. Focus. Unfocus. Bam. This time when the old person their heart out, desperate about life. After all, what in this world is of use? Poisons equalized into medicines, medicines blunted into poisons... Is there an ultimate authority, and if so, does that figure likewise have one of it's own? Questions over questions. Not even thinking. Is the content I'm providing even of my own? Dear secret watcher, take me up with your good intentions. Let the paranoia be waved in the right direction and make it of use to the world. Let the crooked divines find their way and the critics be satisfied or offput. Clinging to the bliss; not letting go, no. Nostalgia, too strong to come up against. Why would you even bother? The modern teachings of life and the rumors driven around one particular state maybe. One thing or many, I don't know. Deep blame. Saying to myself; I don't care what other people think of me. Bruh, that doesn't count. The final problem. Metta. Make it the way you want. Struggling? Yes, possible. Common indeed. One thing said from the realm of sleep and dreams; direction happens by itself and you will do something very weird. If you want to reach that goal then I don't know what to tell you because I have yet to go this path. For me to read. I will swear to myself that I make it so. Get along with my habits. Go out into beautiful surroundings. Find out why I am the way I am. Getting to know other people. Writing this to myself. No thing that is not too far away, yet so indefinable. Eyes closed. Slowly drifting into the main area of drowsiness. Nothing special that is here. Oh boy , oh girl. Psychedelic state . What is psychedelic even? Everything is. Big confusion with substances... Fascinated by the happenings. Accepting the shady parts. Not even calling it that because things have to be loved. We will get along. At least you will not die miserable. And if you do, you will still have many pers and tweaks to it. Brilliance of beginning and end. Am I allowed to? Power. Take it slowly. Amateur, seems professional. Miss the opportunity. Fear. Groundless fear driven into the deepsest fearce. I cannot even explain. Dumb trap we have fallen in. At least me. Maybe not you, who knows. Please take care. Saying that because of my feelings and things crashing down. The biggest accomplishment to society has to be rewarded with the least amount. To change things might make matters worse. But unless you do it you will never know. Here for you and am very unlikely to go elsewhere. It's not worth it and that's the price of life. Finding and being. Beautiful picture. Laser pointing towards the sky, ha, nothing will be left. There's a lion at the window and a wolfe out the dark. What do I want from life? What does money do? Come so far and then take the wrong way. Or only took one step but it exponentially goes the right way big time. Equanimous ecstasy. Really dark state kushed into the most blissful state imaginable. Sitting here getting nowhere. Too far out there, no hope. Everything is so relative. We are much older than we think we are. Actually time is like an onion peeling itself. Only 1% of the inner layer is still there. Ain't no place that I gotta be - still two steps back from where I wanna be. Drifting, nothing is normal anymore. Norms swept away. Skyrocketing out there. Getting to many places I used to want to get to. Yet there is still that lack. Or is there? Transmorphing. Loop. Do I really ...? I can see it clearly for fractures of seconds at a time. All that hard to get out of. At one point going to do the hard work in the wrong context. Gone. Think of the unthinkable, be safe while taking the risk. In other words; it will happen. Soul crying. Why do I fall for such states? It has to happen. After all it's not going to matter. No difference between me getting anywhere or not. Or is there? Regret in late life. Magic Chase it? Danger Opportunity Greed And all falls down Supposed to give me chills. Medicine, Drugs, Poison. Substance of eternal material. Physical and not potable. Respect and eternal confusion of spirit. Infinity, what a hazardous word. Verklärt. Food, parasite taking over. Energy becoming so shallow, almost non existent. Until it fades away. No one might even closely attempt to fathom this. Clarity. Stuck in the realm of endless circles and loops. Taking this to dimensions. Never know what it will end up as. Joke: Oh dear, please allow me to be in this state. I could take you to places you never witnessed Discover the unlimited space of stuckness. Vagabond. Paint your journey. Far too many implications to explain. Way too little of a format to put into picture. Balance through chaos And maybe it is all how it is supposed to be. What if we change a fundamental somewhere though? Radical. Take part xyz Leave part ... Stance in a dangerous place. Almost died in the unlikely case of this arrangement called life. Zillions of sperm cells and still it's me out of the whole field. Where is the gratitude? Blank // I wanted to write something useful. So now I do. Narcissistic. Ooohhh Disney music is so eloquently marketed. What a cult like point of thought. Going down this road, this is not something little. This is hard stuff. Like da hard drug but just that. Becoming part of a 'subquential' reality. Paranoia. This is the way it flows. On the goiiing, the showwwinnggg. Singing: And I juuust must do alone but a there a is a little issue. Deeply driven. Deeply fearced. Downward scarysism. Somewhat gratiousness. And so deeply, deeply in touch with the dark light. Harsh and getting in my own right. Low frequency and high volume of heat loss. Burning and aging, huge drawlessness. Forging into mind and mystery. Impure. Foolish youthness. The great problem. Makes an inward explosion of chaos , being a faceless creature of communing extraparts and voluntary particles. High pitch simulated dimension and going almost to the realm of catchy hyperspace in my means. Psychiatric mumification of the cubicle of a certain brain compartment. Do we see the light shining towards my ankle space , dough. Out for the two and infinite worlds. Post as it goes

You are awake. You merely think you aren't. You think that you should do something to awaken, but that belief is the only thing that is keeping you from awakening. All the mystical stuff is unnecessary. You can experience the highest levels of bliss without touching a substance, if that's what you want.

Before I meditate I wanted to write what is currently happening in meditation as well as one important thing I wanted to contemplate. I will meditate for 1h30 today. What currently happens is I hear my brain making clicking noises again similar to the very start of my medtiation journey, as well as the fact that this occures more rapdily and intensely now. I would like to pinpoint and say which parts of the brain are involved, yet I can only described annica or apparently the unabillity to satisfy ones needs or the inabillity to control, or impermanence at the brain stem, reptilian brain. Now I hear a lot of clicking noises inside the left part of my skull, as well as sometimes the neocortex, as well as most likely the midbrain by looking at a diagramm of the brain. So, this is that neurological changes are a precursor to a new plateau that I can reach. I would like to record the sound just to see if people around me could hear it since it fees so loud, similar to an ankle cracking sound. Even if this may sound crude, all of this is currently happening and I presume it is a precursor towards stage 8, still my technique is choicless awarness, leading to khanika samadhi, I want to train also accessing concentration of upacara samadhei, I don't know the literaly translation from pali or sanskrit, so I can't tell their literal definition. Khanika samadhi is moment by moment concentration which is trained espeically in zen, because people also do samu or "collective work" and are supposed to be present and pratice during that time, so each new moment that arises is infused with concentration, it feels very energizing, yet highly alert and sharp when I feel I gain more traction with this aspect. Next would be upacara samadhi, which I could train with focusing on grey scale blank which I presume would evoke also nimmita since access concentration is what holds it from what I read in the mind illuminated, as well as I presume khankia samadhi can hold it for a while, yet it's more sporadic then. Next thing I wanted to contemplate a bit about is time. How do I use my time each day? Are my priorities that important ? What is a legacy for me ? Why do I waste time ? How much time a day does my ego corrupt my decision making ? What do I want to do with my time on planet earth ? Why do people waste time ? How come that time exists, when everything vanishes into space ? Why does my body-mind perecive time ? What is time ? Loop What is time ? Why does thought take time ? IS thought instant ? Why does this dimension include time lol without psychdelics this question won't help. What is pratical about time ? What is theoretical about time ? How is time considerid in buddihsm ? etc. So, I will just write a bit for now about this. First of time seems to be a fundamental law of the universe, I don't even know if there is a formular to calculate time of some sort. I googled and I will stop for now, why do I waste time ? The desire to do something makes me waste, time, the desire to satisfy my needs when they are not meet, to perpetuate them when they are there, and to achieve more of them when they are established. Nothing of this is a time waste pre se, all of this is fine. Yet, why do I feel this is so important, writting down pratical steps does not help. Looking at my notion of what is time, is a more theoretical approach. So, why does thought take time is rather technical, thoughts produce peptides ? Thought is a function of my organism ? Why do I perceive time systemically and not as a holistic field yet ? Am I stuck in my understanding ? Time seems to flow by, Shinzen told my the first time I talked to him as you get older energy and time contracts, yet what is "true" paraphrasing here is what shines forth. So, even as a young gallant knight time will inevitably contract as well as energy, then what is worthwhile ? Media ? Old stories ? Horses ? Really ? This cosmic field begs me to find out what there is, form will always take time, the formless is timeless ? Is it this ? Why do I waste time ? I waste time to entertain myself, to maintain myself, reducing stressful thoughts, worries etc. What do I invest my time and energy into ? A stinky journal ? Consciouness work ? My dreams ? What my parents want ? What I want ? What the universe wants ? What my future kids want ? What my wife/life partner wants ? Hobbies ? Aspirations ? Parts of it, time definitely exists in my 3d reality, undeniably, does it exist even in the sublte dream releams ? Yes, yet I can't controll it. What is timelesness ? An isness of void ? Will I become a voidteralist ? Or is all of this another classic ? And I am the devil ? I do waste time because I like to waste time, it makes me feel good to not do what I want to do because I don't like to do what I subconsciously resist. What am I resiting, resitance itself of what I want deep down there and I would not even know it, if it is a simple NO that that carrot cake, or yes to going to karate training. Is it that universal ? What is a legacy for me ? Leaving behind a shit ton of money for my children ? Destroying hypocricy as well as dogma and ideologies through my lifes work ? Being part of a super advanced technical company and driving innovation forward, being enlightend and forcing others into awakening through sheer presence, is that possible ? Can a dharmakaya be so strong ? Is it not just shakti, qi, ki, or energy ? Living a live of a boddhisatva and helping others and being of service do I like this ? Really ? Do I like service ? Do Ilike to be a roman slave rowing around in the rowboat ? Listening to the hum and drum of my slave masters ? Literally ? U know ? Why do I not follow my priorities strictly and I succumb to the pressure of my desires ? Do I want it badly enough, is my time investment that much out of order ? Or is this another hyperdimensional cube game, and I literally can't take the seriousness of this at the moment. Am I that deluded ? Are others more deluded than I am, and how am I deluding myself with the time I invest let alone in this post. I am a type b person, and in generall very relaxed and not as driven, enjoying working towards my goals with lowkey effort is more fun to me than striving and being expolsive and riding on the energy of the striving. Excellence for instance is something I enjoy, yet also part of impermanence more or less. For instance working out and meditating does work, yet how do I perform in this endeavour ? What am I explaining away ? Rationality never made sense in the first place ? If chaos resides in the expression of others and myself being prone to acting out there emotions. Being dark ? What is this ? A joke ? Darkness is scary, yet being dark ? What is this ? A joke ? Seriously, this is not much different than asking questions under the influence of psychedelics, besides they take me deeper. Yet, what is time ? An expression of form ? Steming from the void ? Eflux ? or Reflux ? Is it both ? Is it neither ? Is it OR. What do I want to do with my time ? Follow my bliss, muse, joy, radiating vibrant forms of live, big cars, houses, nature, beauty, perception of form, art, thought ? What is that for me programming ? Writing ? Photography ? Language Learning ? Learning ? Knowledge ? Travel ? Work ? Excellence it self ? Working out ? Reading ? A verb or a noun ? Computer Science, Biology, Nutrition, Books, Psychology, Life, Buddhism, Cultures, Fitness, Anatomy, Business, Politics, Legacy, Life purpose, Coaching ? It's more of a noun then a verb. I like big pictures, the big picture... of time, is my life purpose spent inside the time space continuum o fmy interests. Is it that simple ? A small picture are all the verbs I wrote down already ? Again, why do I waste time ? I accept that I am wasting time, I enjoy that I am wasting time, I forget that time exists, I forget that I exists besides in my drama ? Drama ? Worries ? Toxic people ? Corrupt people ? Depth ? Span ? Why do I waste mental ressources to not fully function at tourqouise / coral, and evoke change instead of being stuck with the small picture ? Do I need a small picture ? Big picture or to strike a delicate balance. Why does balanace seem to appealing ? Is one extrem not often also a solution ? Like TMI meditation, meditation with one object ? Or am I wrong here ? What am I trying to control ? The outcome of my life fundamentally, this is what one does with time proactively, as well as riding on the wave of impermanence. Is it that ? Yes. I want to control the outcome of my life, as well as fundamentally change my conditioning, upbringing, thoughts, happiness levels, outer circumstances etc. It boils down to what can I actively control, without being neurotic with my time spent in one endeavour for instance, which supports me in achieving desired outcome of my life. Are my intetions paved in hell ? Partially ? Are they paved in limbo ? Partially. Are they paved in heavean. Partially. What matters is the quality of the intention itself, no dogma, no mental masturbation, no isms. Am I stuck in another thought loop ? I do feel my inner game is very good if I compare myself with myself from 4 years ago. The same as when I compare it with others, and learn from their behaviour, I am more in touch with happy people than ever before, like attracts like and since I got rid of my old friends two extroverted debbie downers, that only can appeal to hedonism instead of eudamonia, I do think this is where introverts do generally better than extroverts. Still, working on manifesting my desires and outcomes in the outer world seems to be more of importance for now, I will stay with this use my time to manifest my postive intentions as well as my vision and keep contemplating time usage.

I lived in a state of complete no-self for about two months. In that state, I wasn't the one looking through the eyes, there was no one looking at all. There was only the scene. It was complete bliss. I was/still am ignorant. I still have a lot of programming to undo. So, I would say that the levels of happiness that you can reach are completely irrelevant to your level of understanding. I would say that the more you understand, the harder it is for you to feel the bliss. Happiness is mostly dependent on surrendering/acceptance of the present moment. You don't need any special knowledge to do that, you just surrender and stop wanting to control/change/manipulate anything. I'm still not sure though, because my awakening started with a series of strong traumatic events that stroke the ego really hard that there was nothing else to do but to surrender. Suffering was key to my awakening. Here's what I realised in that state: Infinite beauty; I could look at a garbage can and see the beauty of it. Every "mundane" thing was beautiful. My heart was breaking everytime I looked at something for sometime. It was filled with love. I asked some people if they could see the same thing, and they couldn't. Now I can't either. I'm very disconnected right now. Infinite divinity; I'm not sure it's very different from the former, but it's like everything and everyone is sacred and must be how they are. Nothing needs to be changed at all. Infinite love; I don't wanna talk mystical nonsense or rational explanations, I'll just tell you that I got beaten up by a stranger and I could still feel the love for him. I felt petty for him as he had such a strong ego. The whole thing happened in like 10 seconds. I didn't know how to react, I responded to his attack at first with a punch to his face (old pattern), but then realised that there's no point in doing that, so I let go and let him do whatever he gotta do. The true meaning of life; I was in a state of nihilism for a long time. However, one month into no-self, I realised the meaninglessness of meaninglessness, which was a very profound realisation. Truth; although I would say there's still a lot more depth to it. I think it was just a surface level realisation. This realisation grows by the day, and I realise more facets of Truth every now and then. All of this happened without any super understanding of reality. I would say that I now understand reality a lot more than before and I still don't feel the same. My lifestyle is very different now. Back then I was unemployed, I had no internet access almost at all. I stopped hanging out with anyone almost completely. I barely talked a few words a day. I used to meditate at least for 4-5 hours a day. So, yeah, lifestyle is a very important factor I guess.

No you're not "supposed to" in the sense that just because your kundalini is doing something in you, you should feel bliss. Quite the contrary, you ever heard of "dark night of the soul"? That can take a while and not feel good. Don't neglect how you feel but don't interpret anything into those feelings. You might feel anxious because anxiety is what is getting cleared out of you. Again, you're purifying. Let it do its thing. Choose truthful, beautiful thoughts that make you realize that you ARE the bliss you are supposedly lacking. Even when you don't have pleasurable emotions, you can be blissful. You got this ?? We're here to help you. I can't recommend Matt Kahn enough since you already resonated yesterday. Pick a video title that speaks to you and let it in

@Nahm I'm confused, i have random moments of fear, even when i'm doing something that is supposed to be enjoyable like watching a series or hanging out with my dad. (Tbh i'm confused i don't even know if it's anxiety/fear all i know i'm not thinking about anything scary, but the feeling of vibrations around the heart area/spine/back/ass confuse me) I second guess myself thinking is this mild ptsd or kundalini? I even had a moment where i woke once heavy breathing. If it was kundulini i'm supposed to feel bliss right? I don't think i'm experiencing any bliss, Although there was a moment where i felt like my legs are getting massaged, Could it be a mixture of both?

I'm really embarrassed to admit this but I think it's important. Someone on this forum acted as a nondual therapist for me in the journal section a few months ago. I started channeling my past stuff and doing shadow work, it got really messy. I could see exactly how I had as God written the story of life, and how every traumatic experience I went through was an opening of some kind. I could see how perfectly beautifully it all was designed and orchestrated. I had an awakening, third eye opening, mystical experiences, heart chakra burst open, bliss states for days on end. I had to hide the journal since because it was ridiculously personal. I say this because maybe the same thing can work for others. Maybe what happened was a unique situation, and it would be dangerous or useless to try to recreate it, I'm not sure. Psychotherapy and psychedelics are great but practically they are only available to very few. Psychotherapists don't lead you into nondual understanding with pointers. Psychedelics aren't a structured way to do shadow work. Both have their own drawbacks, and there are a lot of people on this forum who can't access either. Is there a third option?

@Leo Gura @Nahm @SunnyNewDay @Freakyboo Update: I managed to sleep for the past three nights, randomly wake up sometimes 2-4 times a night, I managed to have my first dream last night so that's good. I still struggle to sleep though, Been been struggling for an hour on bed, I notice i activate my trip like when i focus on breath? I'm not sure, And it makes my mind super awake after that, How do i fall asleep if i can't meditate/focus on breath this is like a habitual normal thing for me usually.. Can it go away even if i meditate every night as i try to sleep? Or am i just prolonging it to never go away if i keep doing this habit Edit: starting to think this is not kundulini awakening since i don't feel any bliss factor from it just vibrations

@traveler the morning wood happens because of that. So, it's not embarrassing. When we are sleeping we are with consciousness only, in bliss. So blissful that morning wood happens hehehe... Meeting with our true self brings a lot of "ecstasy" so that's not weird or bad really. :-)

Fair, but I think there is some nuance to be had here. I know the levels of bliss is incomprehensible to me, but I certainly was not in a really bad state. Which I grabbed from your statement those 'suffering' you meant those who are suffering to a major degree. Like depression level stuff. I was probably as good as most can be as far as being unaware gets.

Definitely not 100% My awakening was accidental through drug experimentation and I found this place via a friend recommendation because he thought i'd like the spiritual material. I'm happy, maybe not as happy as I can be (How would I know the limits of bliss?), but I just have a drive to explore and follow what I am passionate about.

Pantheism is the highest and the most sacred form of satanism. This error comes because all spiritual traditions takes consciousness and being as two sides of the same coin. But monotheistic revelation tells us that Consciousness and Being are two opposites, Consciousness isn't stemming from Being, but exists as a contrast to being, as an opposite to being, to reality. We naturally take Being as Good, because we take Being and Consciousness as the same things. Sat-Chit-Ananda- Being-Truth-Good(Bliss) is the natural logic of all pagan metaphysics. But reality is that these are two opposites. And Being equals Iblis=Arabic translation of Greek word Apollos = Diabolos=Satan=Lucifer=Object. Beautiful good idol of all idols. Zeus. Apollo. God of light and beauty. Object of worship and purpose of life of all clerics and mystics of all times, who wanted to identify themselves with this Highest Being. Because they didn't know revelation. When Quran critiques polytheists, it means that polytheism is nothing but many faces of the Iblis. Lets take Greek pantheon, Olymp, all of it is just many faces and aspects of Lucifer. While God of abrahamic revelation is Subject, He is not Being, not Object. Thus, Nonduality, Monism and all what current enlightened gurus teach is just sacred satanism. No one wants to take Quran as it is, instead nondual fixation makes Quran to be metaphor where hell is just state of mind, and heaven is enlightenment. Quran says clearly: Iblis will come to human from left, right, behind and front and will surely lead him astray. It means that Iblis is Space itself, Being itself, it is reality itself, because reality surrounds us from all four sides. It is total. It is total everythingness Therefore what calls oneness of being is nothing but oneness of Iblis. Quran is anti-being, anti-real. It puts pure Word, pure text as a more dominating field of reality than reality itself, than experience itself. Whereas, Hindu metaphysics, Buddhism, Dao, Greek Metaphysics are all about ontology, reality, monism where being is god, thats because all natural religions take Infinite Being=Iblis as the highest god. theres good example: in islam there is hadith that says: flute is forbidden, because flute is satan's pipe. Now, what Krishna is? Krishna is playing on flute, its his most famous image, beautiful boy playing on flute. Thats also the image of Apollo. All so-called Avatars in Hindu spiritual tradition is nothing but Avatars of Lucifer. Shiva=Vishnu=krishna=brahma=ishvara. Because Lucifer is Being, and his wisdom and purpose is to maintain eternal universal world order, dharma. He as demiurge is all about keeping things in the universe as it is, for infinity, in its endless meaninglessness. Eternal return. What's Krishna says? Serve me, identify in me, and become me. Thats path of all pagan spirituality, to identify with Krishna, or with Brahman, or with Dao. its the doctrine of Iblis, who has his own wisdom and mind, he is like AI. Whereas Abrahamic prophets never call themselves as incarnation of god, or equal to god, but as messengers of God who is totally different from Being with capital B. They never say I am Allah, I am identical to God or anything like that. They clearly says that there is great distinction between True Creator and Creation. But then clergy captures this message, and Sufis, Kabbalists, church says that prophets came just to remind some ancient wisdoms that always were known about oneness of god and you, some ancient wisdom that were known in all traditions. Because what mystics and clergies and shamans talk about is not what prophetic revelation is about. These are two different gods. Yes, you and Iblis is one, because we are made in the image of Iblis, he is our father. Our archetype. But True God is not him. True God opposes him and opposes to absolute infinity because infinity is a negative thing that he 'made' as a challenge to overcome. True God wants us to oppose Iblis, Being. Thats why ISIS is fighting the global world order as the projection of Iblis's tyranny. Whereas Dalai Lama, cleric and radio of Iblis, talks about peace. Peace is what Devil wants. Peace maintains tyranny of Being over Consciousness. Quran has such verse: And some of you hates to go to war in the name of Allah. But maybe you hate something what is good for you, and maybe you love something what is bad for you. In other words, What human naturally thinks as good is actually evil, and what human naturally thinks as evil is good. Which other doctrine is that radical? None, pantheism doesn't have such radical political agendas, its agendas are always conservative and traditionalistic, all about maintaining hegemony of being. Hegemony of outer reality over consciousness.

Yeah, but keep in mind that there's another force beside the gravity towards bliss (being), it is the gravity towards evolution (growing). Make sure you don't ignore either of them. Godspeed!

Hello, as I already mentioned I will open a gym. That will be my first step is putting myself in a productive mode after not working for 1 and a half year. Leo said you should finish university or something you are good in like for example for me its languages. I can speak German, Spanish, Croatian, English, and Portuguese. But I don't have my own money should I or shouldn't I do the positive affirmation "I own my life" because with this affirmation I can see my intuitive message. I want to learn Chinese. Wich costs me 1 500 000 COP(Colombian peso) per level there are 4 of them so multiply it by 4. I don't have enough money and by the way, I have to learn about cardio exercises. I don't want to stop learning languages because I would feel bad. As Leo said in his life purpose course follow your bliss combine the things you love to do. The only one who can pay me the course is my mother. I sometimes feel so stupid and embarrassing. sorry for writing without any order

My experiences with shamanic breathing have been extremely powerful and positive. In my opinion, it is one of the most transformative options available for people next to entheogens. For me, it is a process of accessing and releasing past pain and trauma stored in my body which then makes room for love, peace, and revelations about my life to come in. That seems to be the pattern for me, but I'm sure it is different for everyone. I do know that when discussing the experience with others afterwards, everyone typically experiences something profound. I do not have hallucinations or visions, it is more of a somatic and emotional process than a visionary one. I would say this is something you should try. If you are struggling that much with depression, then this can potentially help you dive in and release some of the pain and trauma you've been carrying in your body. It can also help give insights to the underlying causes of your depression and porn addiction and/or things you can do or change to help you going forward. I'm guessing your porn addiction just comes from you trying to feel good because you're feeling so bad most of the time. In shamanic breathing, you can reach ecstatic states of bliss and love and experiencing this may help you realize that you can feel good in your own heart and body without watching porn. It will most likely not be a one time fix and you should be doing daily things like meditating, eating right, etc if you want to make real, life long changes but I do think breathing could potentially be very helpful for you.

On 06/05/2019 at 3:22 PM,Preety_India said: Are we spiritual beings having a human experience or are we human beings having a spiritual experience Spirituality is like a potion that helps you to live to escape reality, to be in a mental rehab, to have clarity and have a better perspective on life and things and help the mind to be more peaceful. It's possible to further expand into that awareness. When you become aware that you are awareness itself then it's enlightenment. Now I have separated two concepts. Spirituality and Divinity. Spirituality is a freedom principle whereas divinity is a stoic principle. Spirituality is all about escape from reality and living in a different reality, field of awareness and feeling peace and bliss. Divinity is being strong, taking guidance and deriving strength from a higher source and using that to fight and survive through life. The constant battle between spirituality and reality is a spiritual war So there are 3 components here. Spirituality Spiritual struggle or war Divinity Two things happen on the spiritual journey You feel disappointment. You feel disappointed in humanity because you see all the chaos and all the illusions and you see all the mindlessness. A spiritual struggle or war between right and wrong and between material rewards and spiritual rewards. Spirituality is for the soul or the spirit or the consciousness element of ourselves. It's about a state of mind, it's about an ethereal experience. More like escape from life Divinity is for life, to live with great endurance, courage, stoicism, perseverance and to survive the assaults of life and to have the strength to carry on. None of these spiritual practices consist of miracles. The next thing is Alter Ego. I think it's important to have an alter ego. It makes perceiving things better or easier

It is the very essence of enlightenment When one sheds form leaving the formless it is something you don't think its something you just are. It just IS. Experiencing your own death leaves you in bliss for days and weeks. That bliss can't be described with language other than to say its Love. And when you have the realization of Oneness you realize that the form is Love too. It is no wonder why what they call Kundalini energy is bliss. If you ask any enlightened person if they experienced bliss when they had ego death they will say yes - if they wanna talk about it. Some don't discuss their own enlightenment.

You are doing AMAZING for your age! There's a real opening and opportunity at your age, and you are so lucky to have found actualized.org and resources to help you along and understand the journey. I'm just starting to realize how much of my spiritual growth occurred during my teen years, I have no guidance or framework to understand it until now though. I'm not a fan of how popular the idea of getting rid of toxic people is. I er more to the mindset that everyone is in your life to help you grow and making efforts to cut people out usually serves the ego more than it does our higher selves. With that said, it's all about following intuition and knowing when we need to seclude ourselves, avoid distractions people may present and turn inwards. There's no need to cut yourself from unconscious people. I went through years of loneliness and cutting myself off from unconscious people I thought were below me. It took years of seclusion and growth until I realized it was all just so I would be able to see the face of God in everyone and reenter the unconscious world and see it as perfection. The loneliness is fuel for the fire of true love and connection. It helps us to understand the path when we know that's where we are going. So it sounds like you went through an awakening, and need to go back to business and integrate it. Remember that backward and forward don't actuality but only relatively exist on this path. Do you still have a moderate meditation practice, half hour or an hour a day? An awakening often causes your emotional state to react as if you took a pendulum and swung it as hard as you could. Intense bliss states, intense anger or depression is possible. Nature, moderate meditation, healthy food and taking care of yourself will help ground and balance out these states. You're really doing awesome. Pace yourself with meditation, life is spirituality and spirituality is life, we are here for the journey.

It's alot for the ego to take in when you first awaken. I remember walking around in absolute shock of what I was seeing, I essentially went from duality to non duality over night after a mushroom trip. There is bliss but then comes the laundry so watch out for that. Once you open up the rabbit hole this is when you truly start walking the path.

Designing my break. My ultimate goals is to inject the magic of life onto the process of doing school work. I'm doing this by detatching from grades COMPLETELY. But there's the other aspect which has to do with the actual process. To create an iidentity in which I exist as a physicist regardless of my grades. I don't know how i'm going to get there but I will. side note - I remember reading mans search for meaning and there was this guy who said they were gonna get out of their nazi camp thing on a specific day. as time approached the specific day; he lost all hope and died on that exact day he said he was going to get out. That is what I sort of feel like i'm doing with this belief. Except there is no date which I can fail. I don't get to do a phd? I'm still gonna become a physicist. Never lose hope. Never. So right now rather than create a schedule. I feel like creating the identity is more useful. Because I instantly feel learning some physics. Without the need for a schedule. Rather than make a plan to do something this hour. Then something the next. We should believe that we'll finish our homework. That allows for the sense of autonomy. While actually motivating me weirdly. What is this break going to feel like? dude. It's gonna be bliss. I'm gonna be in magic most of the day. Dedicating hours upon hours to being extraordinary. Being curious. Learning. Completely in the moment. Not on video games though. We are not even gonna wanna play video games. We are too busy creating, and getting ready to change the fucking world. So my dad thinks it's dangerous to meditate all day for 7 days. My dad was some sort of healer in the past. He says all sorts of things like not everybody can meditate and he believes in like all sorts of ancient chinese stuff. He believes I am not ready for it. I think growing my consciousness is so important. It is actually necessary for me to succeed in school. So. I am going to talk this through with my dad, get his perspective and if he can't convince me. I'm doing the 7 day retreat once again. It won't be as intensive because of a different environment. But we shalt try. We shalt try. That 1-2 days of just meditating has already changed my perspective on life somewhat. I'm really detatched to the things that use to cause emotional problems and just laugh at it. I am not totally dismissing my dad because I do feel quite a weird sadness. It's not the sad type of sad it's a really weird type. o.0

@tatsumaru Carefully observe your thoughts until you're disidentified from them. When I watch the sunset, I just see a beautiful sunset! Something magical and delightful that was created for me to experience and enjoy. Of course, these thoughts don't necessarily appear while watching, but you can use them as means to arrive there. There are two ways for silencing the mind: Carefully observing them and questioning them to death. Meditation/self-inquiry/contemplation are great for that purpose. This will lead to a painful ego death for most people, for me it was a pleasant and freeing process, accompanied with a practical life failure. I have no experience with psychedelics, but they say they're better than all of the above. Replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts and believing them. This is known as the Law of Attraction, or traditionally as prayer. A practical use of those methods is the positive affirmations method. Eventually, and after months of practising, the positive thoughts will sink into the subconscious mind and become as evident and clear as the negative ones you're experiencing right now. In my experience, both ways are legit and will lead you to the same place, and that is peace of mind, which will develop into happiness and then total bliss. It's really simple, all you have to lose is your 'self'.

Yes, the masculine and feminine need to be integrated and yet, metaphysically we will still embody and teach different energies. If it's going to change with time then we need to go into duality and understand our differences so that we can understand how we are also the same. We need to teach everyone how to properly start their journey. Certain techniques like psychedelics and Kriya yoga may not be appropriate or even safe for everyone. In a holistic sense it doesn't matter, but when it comes to helping people with specifics and helping people improve their lives, we need to understand our differences intellectually as best as we can, we need a compass so that we know what direction we need to travel in. That has been my journey and is the last leg, that I need to finally intellectually understand the power I was born with and learn to focus, channel it and teach it so that it can do some good rather than just be in a lofty bliss state I enjoy all by myself while letting the world fall apart around me.

What if your deluded by the ego leo?The more I become aware of how persistent and ruthless the ego can be in order to maintain itself,the more I doubt and question your vision and intentions.What if your life purpose or vision is corrupted by ego?The idea I’ve been concluding from all your enlightenment videos and information is that in order to fully experience reality is to infinitely become aware of your reality and how you ARE reality by dissolving the ego.The way karma plays into this,is that as long as you have an ego,you won’t be able to feel fully fulfilled and truly experience bliss because of the suffering that is brought by serving yourself/ego.So on one hand you are totally blissed out,drowning in reality’s beauty.and on the other your suffering chasing your own tail.My question is can one experience a balance of both?Can one harmonize both ego and truth?

Maybe that's why we came down here. To experience the polarity, the doubts, the fears and the anxieties but also the happiness the relief and the love. Maybe that's actually a better way of being than a constant state of contentment and joy. Would a constant state of bliss and joy actually be that great? Maybe, but I lean on the side of it not being worth it. Maybe the ups and downs are more engaging and fulfilling than anything that can ever exist. Maybe there is some eternal state of bliss, but honestly that sounds pretty boring to me. There must be a reason why these (illusions of) polarities exist, maybe it's actually superior to experiencing and realizing a constant state of oneness. What if I can love the rollercoaster? What if I can love the downs as much as the ups? The ups and downs and the doubts and the suffering make life intense as fuck and I'm glad to be experiencing it!

@seeking_brilliance Brings up a brilliant point here. Open your heart to love. Let it melt all your demons and shadows. The bliss will come afterwards. All those anxieties and fears and wickedness that you have repressed inside you. Bring it out. Shine light on the dark creatures. Let the light of love burn them away. That is the only way. It will be scary at first, it will be uncomfortable, but let them all out. Open your heart and show it to yourself. Let it cleanse.