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I sat 3h + 1h. I planned to sit 6h but during the second session I realized how angry I am and stopped. 1st 3 hour long session + nofap hormone boost gave me some ego backslash and awakened some deep emotional pain. Haven't been that much angry for a while. I hung up a thin rope in the middle of the room, made a playlist of the most heavy songs of Slipknot and was punching it for 30 minutes. If you concentrate on something and ignore your emotional pain it's going into shadow and it will hit you afterwards with the force that is proportional to effort that you apply to concentration. So if you have a lot of shadow pain better make it your object of concentration. I have just reread my first post and set an intention to read it every time I post here (those two lists).

@Deep Even though it's a totally speculative moot point, if every individual human expression were in the 'higher' state you imagine, and no longer had any interest in lowly carnal pleasures, would they all just abstain from sex in view of the fact that the collective human experience would be extinct within one generation. I suppose mass artificial insemination would be an option, but somehow I suspect that the unique intimacy of the love-based relational experience would still have its appeal. There just wouldn't be some unnatural obsessive need for it to fill the void of a sense of something lacking. Even in a truly awakened state, wherein egoic identification is completely dispelled, there would still likely be a recognition of the unique role of relational experience, and the integral part that an apparent individual locus and expression of Awareness plays within it. Thus the dream doesn't end, it's just revealed to be what it actually is.

In this thread, I'm going to explain how and why higher consciousness can become a "problem" while functioning in society. I put problem in quotes because it's a problem from the egoic perspective. By higher consciousness I don't mean being a "goody two shoes." I mean being fully awakened from egoic consciousness. I studied the life of 3 sages and I'll use them as an example later. I'm just writing this to give everyone a different perspective. In Advaita, the highest level of consciousness is nirvikalpa samadhi. A good way to describe it is like this: “How silly! This jug is God! This cup is God! Whatever we see is God! And we too are God! Nothing could be more absurd.” Sri Ramakrishna came out of his room and gently touched him. Spellbound, he immediately perceived that everything in the world was indeed God. A new universe opened around him. Returning home in a dazed state, he found there too that the food, the plate, the eater himself, the people around him, were all God. Swami Nikhilananda. Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna (Kindle Locations 1884-1887). Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Center of New York, Inc.. Kindle Edition. When the Kundalini reaches the cerebrum, it's also called nirvikalpa samadhi. Here are 3 people who had an awakened Kundalini: What do all of these men have in common? They didn't engage in egoic activities. They didn't have a job. They didn't have sex. They had little money. They practiced renunciation. Other people provided them with food and shelter. In ancient India, the kings provided the sages with food and shelter. In return the sages would provide spiritual wisdom. How does this become a problem? We need the ego to function in today's society. In modern society we have to provide for ourselves. We have to use concepts whether we like it or not. Language is a concept. Science is a concept. Math is a concept. Money is a concept. We can be detached from concepts, but we still have to use them. The ego attaches to concepts to ensure the body's survival. Kundalini demolishes the ego. For example, if a banker on Wall Street experienced nirvikalpa samadhi, he/she would probably quit his job and do whatever the hell he/she wants to. Same with many other people. Why would they participate in mundane bullshit if they can experience God? I think it's wrong when people say, "Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." No, enlightenment can dramatically change the way one perceives reality. I don't think it's possible to be liberated and succeed in the egoic world. If one chooses spirituality, they should dominate it. If one chooses egoic life, they should dominate it. Nothing can be half-assed. Anyway happy new year!

Well, apparently there can be major brain impairment and still be relatively normal awareness, as in this example. Also, there is now significant evidence that some psychedelics actually temporarily reduce brain activity, and that, at least in some cases, brain damage, e.g. due to strokes, is associated with enriched consciousness, as explained in this Scientific American article. However, not sure anyone really knows how brain activity correlates to the so-called awakened state. But it might make for an intriguing study.

I am living it. Chop wood, carry water before, chop wood, carry water after. Reached what? The enlightenment path isn't a path to enlightenment, it's a path with enlightenment. Every moment on this path is walking awake to being present now with the whole being, with the whole consciousness, with the whole universe. It seems one thing preventing you from being fully awakened is your idea that you haven't reached it or that it's a future happening when it's really a present happening, it only ever happens in the present. The ego has gripped onto this idea to keep it's identity as the 'seeker', it's infused itself to the consciousness work in such a way that it prevents you from realizing it presently. Resolving this within your consciousness will open you up to being awake in the present with everything, every breath, every step, every emotion and thought, even every mundane aspect of life will awaken. It's right now, there's no reaching that needs to be done to be it. So live it.

The egoic selves that we create are an illusion therefore, in a way, “you” or “I” could be considered presently dead. When “I” had an ego death experience, it felt like I was actually going to die, though physically I was fine. I awakened to find I’ve been in heaven all along.

@SOUL awakened is to see that you are reality, and all atoms are illusion. The middle way was the first thing the Buddha talked about upon awaking, and it is relative to desire and gratification / endulgence. It was not intended as literal verbiage, it is advice on living life as a human, to humans who were not as serious as Sidhartha relative to the pursuit of what they themselves are.

@Nahm The illusion of atoms is both being empty and full, being both something and nothing, the ones who are awakened to the middle way are liberated from that illusion.

Thousands of years ago a seeker was lost on the path between the extremes of self indulgence and self mortification, of living to the self and dying to the self, but then was awakened to the middle path and liberated in enlightenment. Awaken to being in the moment of nirvana.

My thirst for truth awakened dramatically a couple a years ago, a knew the absolute as a concept through non-dual teachers. Statements like "All is one and the one is all" got my attention. I started to recognise this truth inside of me. A couple of 5-meo also confirmed this truth beyond any doubt.

It might sound weird and girly but throughout my childhood I developed fear of growing up which throughout my early adulthood developed into strong fear of aging. I used to think about death and becoming old from age of 5, it did bother me a lot then. almost couple decades later i still did not get over that. i mean i sorta forgot about it in my teens and came back to that fear extensively during this year and i'm posting this not because it is just regular fear. I mean it bothers me to the extent of suicidal behavior because of how much I already aged since childhood and teens. i did huge self-help work so far, i had many many issues, but i just can't get over this particular aspect. i'm young but my body and face became older than before and this thought killing me now i'm making research on elixir of youth, i'm getting insane. my fam are pissed off on me. i have a naive dream that if i only look younger like before i'd go and conquer the world but i'm holding myself back. what's wrong with me? it is so infantile and shameful, my self-esteem felt down to the bottom end. i don't want other people, friends and girls to see me. ps. i know i am not my body but i'm not awakened so this understanding do not help me much. pps. i have received professional help. they didn't help much

You will not be happy and content all the time. When things happen that are terrible, they will still be terrible, but you will not identify with the person who is experiencing this. Because of this disidentification, there will be no suffering. Yes, you will still care as much. You will possibly cry. But you will move on with your life quickly. Funeral arrangements are just practicalities. You will be able to perform then perfectly fine, probably even better than someone you is still in heavy pain. You will do whatever you decide to do. But you will probably accept the situation very quickly. And you would probably won't showoff your peace and quietness to everyone, because you don't want your family to think you don't care. Even though you probably do not care what they think. Overall, do not expect any special behavior change once you've awakened. Even though enlightened, there is still a person that had years of conditioning by society and environment. That doesn't go away instantaneously.

@Shiva And here I thought you were on the awakened side of the strange loop ... Get back to the 'other' side impostor!

Eversynce my kundalini awakening journey started, I started losing my ability to focus, I feel withdrawn from everyday life, sometimes its difficult for me to answer questions because I dont understand what someone is saying eventhough they are speaking absolutely clearly, I have difficulty focusing on logical tasks such as maths or statistics, or reading difficult text. After awakening, did you guys regain your ability to focus properly, or does it stay like this? There is belief that my ego doesnt wanna surender because it wants to maintain its ability to analyze logically and follow reason., and ia afraid that its gonna lose it completely if it lets go.

@Jedd Here is a list of kundalini awakening symptoms: From my experience kundalini is not awakened only with yoga. You can use sound healing and it Will still be very beneficial.

@EyeOfTheStorm If you haven't checked it out already, I recommend Leo's wonderful video about strange loops, as such strange loops are a perfect example and symbol of the paradox of awakening, in that they seem to have two separate sides of an apparent duality, which in actuality are the same side, and exist in unity. So if one imagines being on one side, let's call it the unawakened state, it seems as if the other side is the opposite of that, and somehow difficult to attain, and one wonders how to get to the other side, that there must be some magic trick to it. And so one diligently traverses the 'unawakened' side, ever hopeful of finding the secret of getting to the 'awakened' side, not realizing that there are never actually two sides. That it was the same side all along. There is only the state of being what you never actually were not, except insofar as it is strangely imagined to be otherwise. And then one may have a good laugh about it! This is what Ramana Maharshi meant when he said: "There is no greater mystery than this: always being Reality, we seek to attain Reality. We think that there is something hiding Reality and rather it must be overcome before the Reality is gained. It is ridiculous. A day will dawn when you will laugh at all your past efforts. That which will be the day you laugh is also here and now." Meanwhile, it's hard to go wrong with some consistent self-inquiry in quiet contemplation, and practicing compassion ... and just keep on traversing the strange loop that only apparently has two sides.

@Cameron Just because there is a loss of fear of death, doesn't mean that there is a loss of appreciation for life. In any true examples of the awakened state, there seems to be an awakening of the heart that compels one toward a life of compassion, to be a clear example of what is possible. So in that sense, there is perhaps more reason to live and love than ever. And whenever the death of the body-form comes, as it inevitably will, then it can be accepted with equanimity and grace, knowing that it was a life lived well fulfilled. I'm not seeing how some pointless death would serve that cause.

I don't think it'll make you trip more effectively. It's just that the combined energy from nofap plus a strong psychedelic might be enough to awaken your kundalini. Basically, it takes a certain amount of energy for that to happen. One can try to do it via practicing kundalini yoga or whatnot, but the shaktipat master I've worked with says that's pretty much futile. One can do it via shaktipat where the guru transfers some of his energy to you, to cross the treshold. Even with shaktipat though certain practices are necessary. The psychedelics + nofap is just another combo that I know to have worked for a friend of mine. He did Ayahuasca and had been on nofap for a couple months. Two other friends/aquaintances, one of them did 5-MeO on top of Ayahuasca, which is dangerously stupid and damaged his heart, but his Kundalini awakened. He didn't really know anything about Kundalini until after that event when he started searching what's going on with him. The other did 5-MeO multiple times (was a follower of Martin Ball), don't know if he was on nofap or not. He also had a pretty rough ride but he's doing better now. I would caution though that doing too many psychedelics might be damaging - the friend who did 5meO has problems with excess salivation. He went on to learn how to assess people's energy and said Martin Ball's upper chakras were damaged, which would explain why his state doesn't correspond to any of the states of enlightenment people go through according to several maps. So psychedelics can be hazardous to the energetic system it seems.

A shaktipat initiation. And while someone here has mentioned it only works for a small number of people, from what I've observed that is not true. I only have experience with Jan Esmann's initiation but it seems to have worked for a vast majority who got it. He also says trying to awaken kundalini through yoga practice alone is next to impossible. Secondly, I know some people whose kundalini awakened from 5-MeO DMT, regular DMT or Ayahuasca, more reliable when combined with abstaining from ejaculation for a couple months. Compared to shaktipat their kundalini process started off with much greater speed and unpleasantness.

Its like you took the words right out of my mouth. It’s nice to see people with similar struggles and concerns. This is definitely something I have been dealing with as I realized if I don’t breakaway from the herd I’ll never grow. I made a choice about 10 years ago when I was 25 ... since then I’ve made leaps and bounds in terms of career and life successes. But I have to say it’s been a lonely journey most of the time. I wish I could find friendships and relationships that encourages, supports and build each other up more. Often times I find I can never have deep conversations with people ... and they are often intimidated or feel threatened if you discuss anything that challenges their reality. They’d rather party and get drunk. Still not sure what to do about it right now but it’s my goal / focus next year to try and figure this out now that I’ve gotten my life purpose nailed down this year (with Leo’s program). Maybe look for people who are more spiritually awakened. Good luck mate. And if anyone has figured this out, please respond

@Principium Nexus You can still talk like a normal person when you're enlightened. It is possible to realize the absolute. If realization is the Absolute is what you'd call Enlightenment, then there's no issue in saying you're enlightened. I'm not Enlightened yet, for instance, but I'm in what I'd consider an awakened state, one that frequently experiences non-duality and is on the verge of stabilizing into an abiding realization. It's no more arrogant for me to claim that I am awakened than it is for me to say that I'm wearing a blue shirt. Are those all just concepts? You bet. But there's no rule saying you can't think or use concepts. Just have insight into what they are. If Enlightenment as you define it means something else to you and is not achievable, then that's what it is for you and by your definition nobody in Enlightened. But keep in mind other people may not be referring to the same thing.

It’s funny that there’s a taboo in this work against saying you’ve awakened. Nobody gets to admit that! Ever! Who made this rule? Why is it enforced all the time? Do I get to choose for myself? Let’s not deny the obvious. There are differences is awareness amongst people. That is very obvious. You do have people that are more awake than others.

Cease being addicted or there will be just another vice to replace it. I find that many who profess to live an awakened life are really just addicted to the pursuit of enlightenment so all they did was change it from one thing to another, not cease it. Some might say well, what's wrong with that? Isn't "enlightenment" good? Except that if the pursuit brings the same angst, anxiety and yearning as every other vice and not bring inner peace it won't produce the results sought. A poignant analogy would be to say that an addicted mindset pursuit of enlightenment is like taking drugs to get sober.

Awakened people have transcended their own nest of misunderstandings & paradigms, the cause of suffering. The very last scene (phone booth) in the Matrix was originally this; "I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I imagine you can also feel me. You won't have to search for me anymore. I'm done running. Done hiding. Whether I'm done fighting, I suppose, is up to you. I believe deep down, we both want this world to change. I believe that the Matrix can remain our cage or it can become our chrysalis, that's what you helped me to understand. That to be truly free, truly free, you cannot change your cage. You have to change yourself. When I used to look out at this world, all I could see was its edges, its boundaries, its leaders and laws. But now, I see another world. A different world where all things are possible. A world of hope. Of peace. I can't tell you how to get there, but I know if you can free your mind, you'll find the way." chrys·a·lis: a quiescent insect pupa, especially of a butterfly or moth. the hard outer case of this, especially after being discarded. a preparatory or transitional state. "He emerged from the chrysalis of self-conscious adolescence" The illusion can be your cage, or it can be your ‘transitional state’. Would it be easier to be Thomas Anderson....or Neo? (RATM??❣️) more importantly Danielson... ...who is The Architect?

Lately I’ve been realizing more and more how deep and extensive culture is. Even things that we think are immune to culture like Science or Knowledge or the True/false Paradigm are really just extensions of culture. Is it necessary for us to purify ourselves of this culture? If so, how do we go about doing so? Thought Experiment: Imagine you got to live out the rest of your days on an isolated island with no human contact, where you were trained to provide for yourself with the resources thereon. How important to you would Science, Knowledge, or the True/ false Paradigm be? This is in service of raising awareness, obviously even awakened people are gonna value the useful cultural achievements from a pragmatic point of view. But I don’t think people realize how extensively culture is trapping them from becoming more awake. How can you raise this kind of awareness? Psychedelics, world travel, contemplation, studying the history of world ideas are useful in raising this kind of awareness, but are they enough, and what more can we do?