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  1. Precisely because desire, sex, and gratification are identical to Nothingness. Why wouldn't you experience them? There is no why one way or the other. Making you totally free to do whatever. When you are fully awake (so to speak) there is no such thing as the ego. So actually no desire is egotistical. All desire is just a natural occurrance. There are not good or bad desires from the Absolute perspective. This is Total Love: to Love all the "bad" stuff so much that it is no longer bad at all. Such love is very radical and threatening to unawakened people because it interferes with survival. When you reach an even higher level of consciousness than you can presently imagine or have ever experienced, you will realize that EVERYTHING IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. This is Paradise and Nirvana. And it is liberation. You are liberated precisely because you realize that no matter what happens it is Absolute Perfection. So there is nothing to resist or worry about. Reality is not simply Everything or neutrality. Reality is Absolutely Good. Period. It's not just good. It's THE BEST thing possible. You have not reached this level of consciousness yet. It's very radical. But I can tell you 110% that it's the Truth. I wish one day you discover it.
  2. @Leo Gura This is what my understanding so for. As long as one is bound by desires,pleasure seeking one is to suffer.They are not the permanent happiness.Why would a liberated soul go after desires,sex and other sense gratification when he is contented with Nothingness. Desirelessness uncared of anything is real peace. When you say when I have a desire to kill someone who are you to say it's wrong it's egos judgement but not acknowledging that the very desire to kill is a egoistic desire ? Liberation is not realising everything is perfect.Liberation is realising things as they are.Everything is perfect is an illusion.Everything is just as they are.And we don't have any control over the rest and freedom from from illusion of control and not to worry about that is liberation. Resistance is suffering.Pain is a pain resistance is suffering.But beyond a point body mind cannot tollerate accept pain due to survival mechanism and hence suffering is inevitable when it comes to physical pain.
  3. Fear has become an obsession of mine. From the very start of trying to listen to my intuition I've found that fear is the thing that appears to block me from Knowing. But, it also can be an indicator that I'm on to something really good. Due to a strange family dynamic, my parents started their life together in fear for their lives and I have always had a lot of anxiety that was reinforced by my parents. On top of that I had obsessive compulsive disorder which for me resulted in random out of the blue impulses to do and say things that inconvenienced me, embarrassed me or terrified me. Mindfulness and maturity simmered them down but before a recent awakening they came back. They often pick my most vulnerable fear and play it over and over in my head until I realize that following through with action and facing the fear is nothing compared with resisting it. Trusting in them is difficult. Today they lead me to a hiking trail I that never knew existed. I ended up at this secluded cove, and had an impulse to strip off and swim in the freezing cold ocean. My heart started pounding. "For real? Do I really have to actually do this?" I thought about what would happen if I drowned somehow, or what if someone showed up and saw me, and I realized that the possibility of shame was WAY more powerful manifestation of fear than death or discomfort. So I did it, and I never even felt how cold the water was or how sharp the rocks were under my feet. The whole actual experience was nothing. Examining my fear I realize that I think I have these really big fears but they are imaginary. Everything is fear, annoyance is a form of fear and maybe it all can go in the "resistance" category. In fact my biggest fears are a projection of a future that is just mildly torturing. The thought of time always needs to be included with fear, I'm not afraid of losing a limb because it would hurt really bad, but mostly because life without it would be really hard for a really long time after. Mosquitoes and biting flies are annoying, but they can in the right situations get so thick that they can actually kill you. It's all fear. I realize that everything good is on the other side of fear. Courage is love that overpowers fear. Is fear a form of love? If so how does it appear to block us from love? Every practice we do to realize oneness involves working through fear. Psychedelics are terrifying, my OCD impulses are terrifying, meditation is terrifying when you think about it, you're locking your mind, your self in a dark cave of nothingness. Shadow work is working with our shame and it's terrifying. Everytime you give in you realize that there was nothing there all along. What is the purpose of shame? We have to live by rules as a society so those that act outside those rules and agreements are subject to feeling shame. In fact shame keeps people from doing things that society would have to punish in the first place. Shame is protective in a way then, right? Just like fear of death, it keeps you from walking up to a bear in the woods and patting it. When my sister was a little kid, a black bear cub came in our yard and she went up and patted it thinking it was a dog. It's one of the reason that kids are absolutely exhausting to parent, because you have to keep them safe from themselves all the time. Yet to be enlightened you must become like a child again. Is it possible, or even desirable to dissolve all fear?
  4. @Jkris One of the things I used to comfort myself with about death is that lack of awareness is not an active process as there is no one to experience nothingness. If you were to ever wake up again, it would happen instantly, because you have no perception of time in a consciousless state.
  5. The last sinner in existence is the embodied nothingness. The saint. It is just the devil praying at God.
  6. I've hugged Mooji and met him in Satsang multiple times 2 years ago. I think he's a wonderful dude. I don't believe he's enlightened. Yes, he seems to have some experience and wisdom. But if you want to get enlightened following his teachings, good luck. I don't believe he experiences Nirvana, Emptiness, Nothingness or Infinity. The core of the teaching is stay in your stillness prior to thought, but a LOT of spiritual talk is added on top. How you are the One, Inimaginable, Unfathomable. I spent lots of time reading this and thinking I was somehow advancing. More Sadhana showed me my delusions and how susceptible I was. I will read @Leo Gura books on cult-dynamics because it seems I'm young and very susceptible to getting brainwashed.
  7. Dosed 2g of pure psilocybin extract at 10pm last night. I've been taking these 2g trips every two weeks lately, and this one ended up being a pretty intense experience compared to my other trips. This one was more intense due to the fact that I smoked some weed before the two hour peak started to settle in. For me when I take shrooms it takes about an hour for the trip to start and then I enter this two hour peak where I'm just rising and rising and rising until you reach a climax then you start coming back down. My sense of self was beginning to fade. Awareness began to shine through my experience like filling an empty bucket full of water. Everything started to look block like, if you taken shrooms you know what I mean by this. The nothingness really started to make itself known. I'm just sitting there in my room, and my ego is literally seeing that I am nothing... absolutely fucking nothing! It felt like the illusion of my mind was just staring back at me like who's there? No one! No one is there! Can the light of a flashlight turn back and look at itself? Can one side of a coin see the other side? What if it could? This started to become really unsettling for my ego, it just felt insanely fucking eerie. A sense of fear was starting to rise so I asked myself why be scared? You are it, are you scared of yourself? I knew that I shouldn't be scared but still, the fear continued to arise, it was out of my control. Is this thing scared of its own death? Hell yeah it is. Don't underestimate facing your own death, if you tell yourself your not scared your're most likely full of shit. It actually feels like you will die, I am not kidding. The you that you thought you were will cease to exist and you will be left with nothing. I am it, you are it, we are all it, you could say that you're just playing one big game with yourself down here, trying to distract yourself from what actually is. You come down here, to this world experience, and it's like you get lost in your own game. Its so complex, there's so much going on here, that you actually convince yourself that this is real, that all of this is actually happening. Your life already happened and didn't happen, simultaneously. There's actually no one here, other is a illusion, you are just fooling yourself. When you're having a conversation with someone it's just life talking to itself. It really is all just you, and you will underestimate this too until you actually become conscious that this is true. It's actually pretty baffling to see the extent of much you deceive yourself, but it's almost like you have to because you couldn't be here otherwise. We're all running around here trying to seek something outside of ourselves in this materialistic realm because we think it will make us happy. Don't get me wrong, that brand new car that you always wanted will make you happy. A promotion at your job that you worked hard to receive will make you happy. Buying your dream house that took you years and years to save up for will make you happy. All of this stuff is fine and all, there is nothing wrong with it, however it is all short lived. That happiness your're seeking eventually maxes out and your right back to where you started. You're happiness doesn't have to be dependent on something outside of yourself, true happiness comes from within. You could waste your whole life doing this, you'd be like a hamster running on a wheel for eternity, always ending up right where you started. Always trying to be somewhere else than where your at. Again, it's all a distraction to prevent you from seeing what is actually true, your ego does not want you to do this.The thing is you already have it all, there is no where else to go but right here right now. Anything that you'll ever truly need will arise effortlessly during the right time in perfect harmony, not by force. The ego can twist this around, like oh well it doesn't really matter then, let's just stare at a wall until I die because what's the point? No! You came here to experience life so enjoy the ride. Realize that this is all just a game and in the end none of this matters, like at all. It's all temporary and it will all pass. Just do your best, love yourself and smile. One day this will all come to an end and you will merge back with god. Now do I have what I said above embodied? Haha...no, there is still much work to be done for me. Psychedelics are nice in the sense because they remind me why I'm doing all this in the first place, and gives me motivation to keep going. It's like I need constant reminders because my mind will just try to cover all this up again.
  8. You will only see that everything is God if you purify yourself to the point of non-existence. Then, the devil's last trick is your humility, simply because you embody him as nothingness. The devil's prayer to God is the reason why there is something rather than nothing. Now, there is just nothing. Absolute infinity.
  9. Well, obviously, since that's basically what enlightenment is. You'd have to sit and concentrate on nothingness for many thousands of hours. Or do decades of yoga. Yoga is basically a method for naturally producing 5-MeO-DMT or its equivalent. Dark room retreats are another method. Long fasts are another method. Shamanic breathing is another method. All these techniques are designed to change your state of consciousness.
  10. Yeah...ok...if you put it that way. Nothingness = God, and you create everything, including you (ego) and world (ego). You said that already. Anyway, my point was not to argue against 5meo. That was not my intention. I just wanted to see if there is anything else. Btw, I read a book that I suspect nirvana. The subjects have the freewill to go to any realms anytime, including become one with God (nothingness). They could also choose to reincarnate on earth to sacrifice their lives for the purpose of helping someone/others. But, as I recall in your post toward me, you passed this off as stage green, and told me to be careful. I don't consider this to be stage green. Of course, we all have to live our lives to the fullest and not get so caught up in these things. Learn from them without being caught up or obsessed. You still have to live your life to the fullest and find your purpose. This won't end till your death. Then, you'll find out what happens to you.
  11. Nothing and Everything are identical. There are many degrees of realizing this. It's not that you're realizing anything totally new, but you're going deeper and deeper down the same rabbit hole, realizing God more and more and more until finally you hit total omniscience. The highest truth is not nothingness. It is that you are God and you have direct consciousness of how you are creating the entire universe -- every last grain of sand on every beach in the universe. To somehow separate nothingness from form is actually a shallow level of nondual realization. There are much deeper levels. All of this, and more, 5-MeO-DMT can show you effortlessly. These are levels of consciousness which even the highest spiritual masters rarely attained. At these levels of consciousness you are literally God. You are the creator of all spiritual masters. Your power and authority is total, singular, and absolute. No teacher can teach you anything at this level because you have become all teachers, and more. This level of consciousness is completely unspeakable and unimaginable. And yet it is the ultimate truth. I hope one day ya'll reach it. But I wouldn't bet money on it unless you're doing lots of 5-MeO-DMT.
  12. @Leo Gura I would like to hear the difference then, if there are any, in a video, in a book? In whatever? No? To me, everythingness is just more relative distinctions from nothingness. Nothing is beyond nothingness. Looks like he's right. What else is 5meo teaching you that's not part of everythingness?
  13. Then, what exactly is it if you think I haven't experienced it? You're not me Leo. You don't know what I've experienced fully. I will eventually talk about the whole thing in my life purpose, to the best of my knowledge. I know that the 10 Ox Herding Pics is pointing to something. Otherwise, it wouldn't be there. It's not there for no reason. I agree with Peter Ralston when you interviewed him. He said that there is nothing beyond the absolute, but you could have as many distinctions in the relative. And, I like how Shinzen Young talked about Riding the Ox Backwards. This is part of the absolute. I'm going to be honest with you, Leo. I'm not sugarcoating this. It seems like you keep wanting to experience the distinctions, the everythingness. The nothingness is "you," the No-self. This is the absolute. You can't get beyond you without any ego. You never had an ego to begin with. "You," the No-self, fell back into your ego (Riding the Ox Backwards). Another thing Leo, when I do my LP, I don't want to misguide ppl on this topic. That's why when I post here, I find myself writing, if you experience Satori, say it in your LP in a cunning way so that those who are ready to hear it will hear it. Ppl who have been working with gurus told me that you cannot force it on others. It's like a chick trying to come out of its egg. Sometimes when you try to help it out by removing its egg shell, you end up killing it instead.
  14. @WHO IS You can actually become Absolute/Truth /Formlesness /Nothingness/Infinity/God/Love. Do practises with desire and intention to know God and you Will get there or master the Game. ?
  15. @Buba Lets say your brain is in a normal waking state without any substance. What is perception? of what you see, feel, hear, ect? What is the essence of it? What is it made out of? If you become very very present and reach a level of no-mind (less thoughts) and deeply question this, you will realize that the physical feeling of whatever you feel, has the same essence of your dream, of a substance's hallucinations, of deep dreamless sleep. It's something very very subtle and empty. Science likes to zoom in untill they reach a limit. Atoms, sub atomic particles, quarks, strings, whatever comes even after that. Maybe it never ends. Meybe everything is made of something lesser and also mades up something more. What if there was no end to "what's something made of" and "pure awareness/nothingness" be the ultimate substance? It really must be experienced. Materialism is right in physical domains. Yes if you shoot your brain this perception will be gone. But it's not ultimately true. Nonduality goes beyond it.
  16. The icy water touched my body and my breath got really deep, I asked "WHO'S AWARE?" few times. Panicing and fast breathing started, then they vanished. Pure nothingness. Pure awareness. For the first time I could really put awareness on itself. It was intense and deep. Try it, maybe it works
  17. We grow through life experiencing many different ways to relate ourselves to the world. I’ll call these, fragmented states or ways of perceiving reality based off our knowledge and experience. There’s an infinite number of these states and they constantly evolve through personal development. For there to be an awakening, all of these states must collapse into complete wholeness of being or nothingness. As we get older, our identification with these states gets stronger and harder to integrate. I believe this is where psychedelics can be very useful in breaking down our attachments to certain thought patterns. Anyways, back on topic. Nearly all of us unknowingly form spiritual egos after having the realization of this Truth, and this too forms a fragment. Others realize this and begin the process of integration. Unfortunately this process can be really really challenging if we begin resisting the experiencing of old fragmented states, because this creates more conflicts/fragments. This resistance is what causes what’s often referred to as ego backlash and dark nights of the soul. if you’ve had an awakening then you will never not know the Truth, but this doesn’t negate the mechanics of the mind and prevent you from not falling into its survival tricks the mind will always want to believe it can find and embody wholeness but this is impossible. Wholeness can only find and embody you. This “you”, this separation, is then understood to be a belief The more love we bring to our fragments, the more wisdom we will gain and the more likely wholeness will come knocking on our ? to purify our existence
  18. In the past few months I have observed a significant but subtle change in my perspective on the substance of reality. It seems to me that it is a truer way of looking and understanding the world, or maybe a more accurate way, a more conscious way? It is like seeing the actuality of experience, leading to an intellectual framework that incorporates the nature of existence itself into language. Whereas most operate in terms of objecthood and processes, it seems that both of these are nothing but Nessness. Nessness is another word for being, for actuality or existence. I find it very fitting, because it points to what everything truly is, everything is itselfness. Red is redness, love is loveness, beauty is beautyness. Appending the word "ness" to all fascets of being, to formulize the recognition that these fascets are being itself. I feel like there is a great confusion in the general population of what consciousness is, it is like people are lost within the content but cannot see the substance of the content. Consciousness is not merely experience, experienced by an experiencer. The essential nature of consciousness is being, it is existence itself. Beingness is consciousness. What we call the material world is equally as much beingness as the "experience" of the color red is beingness. They are what reality is, they are not within reality, they are not projected upon a ground of existence. They are that which is realness, isness, beingness, existenceness. What I have not yet investigated is the connectiveness of all substance. It seems to me like all aspects of reality are intimiately connected, colorness with soundness, soundness with feelingness, feelingness with thoughtness. And these connections do not seem to be rational or logical, or coherent. These connections seem to be impossible. Impossibilityness is an integral part of them, yet I find impossibility not to be a perfectly fitting word. It is beyond impossible, it implies a Power so great and full that it is beyond all measures of power, a Power so great it exceeds greatness, it exceeds all categories, it exceeds all limitations. Understanding itself is an impossibility, yet it is there. The absurdity of the connectivity of reality seems to be divinity. Divinity being the connectedness of all fascets of realness, the impersonal Intimacy. Intimacy seems to be a very fitting word, the intimacy of realness. There is no depth to realness, it has only one layer, one layer that is itself. It cannot get closer to itself than it is. "I am". The fundamental nature of the Self is not Iness, but Amness. Amness is the same as Isness, or Beness. It is existence itself. Amness is completely impersonal, meaning it is not Iness but includes Iness. Yet Amness is Intimacy. It is not merely including Intimacy, it is the nature of Intimacy. Amness and Intimacy are one and the same (I have to note that what I mean by intimacy does not fit into the individuated category of intimacy, as a feeling). It seems to me like the category of mind is false. It implies an inherent seperation from reality, as if consciousness was unreal and our abstract thoughts of reality were true. Yet the inverse is true, or not really the inverse, because even the abstract thoughts are beingness. Consciousness is not a mind, it is existence. It is being. It is all there is, it is Isness. Everything that exists must be consciousness, existence itself is consciousness. We might as well throw out these concepts altogether. Consciousness, existence, reality. It's all the same thing. It is Ness-ness, or Nessness. That to me describes it very well, because it is itself as itself, and not just that. It is the isness of itself. Any other word would imply some sort of seperation. Or, it would not be inclusive enough. Nessness not only includes Isness, but also Nothingness. It includes absence and presence. It includes All Ness, because Ness is the nature of reality, Ness is reality, Ness is existing. Nessness is itself as all that can be and not be, all that Nesses. And all must Ness. This is Nessness cognition, where, within our usages of language and thought, the substance of objects merges with itself, where the Isness of all becomes itself, or is revealed as itself. It could be no other way, it is always this way, it Nesses. I have not yet seen the groundless ground. I am curious if it can be found in the Isness. I don't know if deconstruction exists. It does not seem like there could be anything to be deconstructed. Isness seems to be final, it seems to be untouchable. There is nothing to deconstruct it, as it is deconstructionness itself. Right now it seems to me like I can sense a veil, a sense of a source of Isness so to speak. This is the sense I get when I see the Impossibility of existence and all of it's fascets (like the impossiblity of any aspect of reality, whether it is redness or straightness, or softness) It's like the Isness is a subtle trail, it's truly magical or Absurd nature has an implication. Not an intellectual implication, not even an emotional implication. I would almost call it a metaphysical implication. That seems to be a fitting word. Metaphysical not in the sense of philosophy, but in the sense of being itself. Denying it would bé like denying consciousness/Nessness, it is not possible because denial itself is Nessness. I can't see it, I can't sense it really. It is like an aura? That does not seem to be a good word for it. All I can call it for now is incomprehensible.
  19. But the beauty is that the obstacle is the way. Maybe the Devil is doing us a kindness. Maybe when he spoke to Eve in the garden of Eden he saved humanity. Do you really want to bestow the understanding that there is no good or bad on everyone? The Devil is enlightenment. You reach satori and he stands there to meet you. All of the things you ever wanted, the entire world, it's yours. If you aren't wise enough to say no again this time, to dissolve into ordinary nothingness again, the devil is your Master. Your self is your master.
  20. @ElvisN Your not enligthened my dude, you most likely just experience that you are not you, but actually concioussnes/nothingness/infinity etc.. A more apropriate label for this is Samadhi.
  21. Being/Absolute infinity/consciousness/God/formlessness/nothingness/You It is itself for Eternity. It is itself so much that there is no where to go, no where to escape. So much so that it bursts into illusion/form/duality/limitation. It is all it can do. It is all you can do. You must continually discover yourself to Eternity. You must simply, BE.
  22. @Rilles Nonsense is another word for nothingness with lowercase "n". Stupid too. So it would be better to be stupid with capital letters "S". The field is sown.
  23. Would love some of the members on this forum's insight. Thanks During my meditation session today i was using the "do nothing" technique and i began looking at the TV's red light in front of me while it was turned off. I was also doing a strong determination sit as well not moving whatsoever. About 10 minutes in i started to feel a weird thump on the back of my skull i felt it because my head was against a wall. It just started bumping and moving on it's own as if a caterpillar was crawling in there moving around. I lost feeling in my body and my awareness was only identified to my skull as i became conscious of this i felt a tremendous amount of fear and my heart beated at almost triple the rate it would on average. I have no disabilities or breathing problems. While this was happening, i didn't feel an experience of nothingness or absolute at all but was this a reaction of the ego knowing it would have eventually been reached if i had kept going? Because i had to stop my session as it was gradually increasing my heart rate and made me anticipate an oncoming heart attack. seriously. Anyone experience such a thing? Would love to hear from some of you.
  24. it's when you totaly lost your mind after having focused so hard on it, that you kind of get the shocking electric truth. but I m still having the ego trying to fix me to the ideas of an identity:ideas and others bs to makes sense of my own nothingness. All this to say, spirituality and enlightment is not mere philosophy, it's an erazing of the OS of the brain, where most "materialist" tend to add software or hardware. Stacking shit on each others ( as I did for years ). the change is not material, the change could be seen as like surviving from a gun shot at 1 meter of the head. if you don't feel it, this means there is no awakening, only a pile of new delusion stacked. True awakening, you know you could have go straight to mental hospital, if you didn't experienced this kind of threat on your ego. Not an awakening. - to my experience and what I've read extensively. true enlightment, what leo didn't truly said, is not about "reducing suffering" like a magic pills. it's about provoking a shift in consciousness ( with violence ) but this violence allow "love". of course it needs concepts to road in the maze ( what leo provided very well, and should be thanked for, what most esoteric chart try to point to aswell ) I fully awake after multiple dosage of 5Ht2A activated for a month, then BIG dark night of the soul. I tend to go violent, then tender when it comes to know thyself and the law of reality, at first it sounds like a childish play with words. You cannot understand this work if you just lack of the first thing, "being open minded about people views", and having a quest for understanding reality itself. This month I'm killing completely the thought identity remaining, will work on my "being"/kill my infinite boredom and met my higher purpose. here what we do as a metaphor is purging the entire OS. Unspirituality is just a belief, maybe spirituality is aswell a belief, ho what, everything is ? what is a belief ? All words are mainly belief, symbols, we all can only know "truth" when we see it and get it for thyself. You don't need psychedelics, but in our fixed mind society, they are a good way to radical work on your openness to "esoteric ideas/spirituality".
  25. @tecladocasio indeed. From the perspective of Being. The no perspective perspective. Pure potential is nothingness and everything simultaneously. Just depends on how you view it. But there ARE Absolutes that you as the illusory ego can become conscious of. The formed becoming conscioisness of its own formlessness. Reality is a strange loop.