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I hope I recall the exercise correctly otherwise I want to first reflect upon my small decision I made yesterday and that I in general feel more happy working and being at the workplace then being at home or in my home town. So I deleted all games again from my laptop and will care more about things that are fun to me that I feel, like reading a bit, journaling, programming etc. So, I can work on these things including the gym and ideally also find a routine that is not 1h long. (The more toxic video games that where I am not consciouess enough...) I also found a psychdelic that "should" still be legal here in Germany through the forum here and a quick search, yet I will postpone all of this because of my bachelors degree. I dont think it is wise or smart to do this when nothing of it is done and I need a week or longer to recover when a normal video can knock me out for 2 days. There will be some video games that I still will be playing since I dont know what else to do with my time here there are no proper hobbies or distractions that I could start such as going to the museum or smth similar. ( And they are more conscious like Divinity 2 Original Sins) So the task was to observe microfears for a week ? Not sure anymore about macrofears. I figure most wont do this, I wrote down my fears in my physical journal and I dont have it with me now so I will write down my macro fears here and will do a quick rewatch of the task. I will write down my macrofears here first from what I can recall and new fears. - Fear of failure - Fear of being ridiculed - Fear of being great - Fear of performance - Fear of looking stupid - Fear of wasps... - Fear of my own power - Fear of my own anger and impulsivness - Fear of darkness - Fear of my illusions - Fear of pain !! - Fear of overcoming obstacles - Fear of death - Fear of life itself - Fear of being inferior - Fear of being incompetent - Fear of being not intelligent - Fear of feeling vulnerable - Fear of being better than others and showing it openly - Fear greater people diminishing me - Fear of feeling small - Fear of not being satisfied - Fear of boredom - Fear of showing up - Fear of being alien to others - Fear of showing my highly compassionate nature - Fear of being a kid - Fear of excitement - Fear of being couragous - Fear of being seen as weird - Fear of being a nerd - Fear of racism - Fear of ethnocentrism - Fear of "pultocracy" or yuppies who do everything to gain status - Fear of modern family lol Microfears: - Fear of getting to know people - Fear of people recognizing me - Fear of social rejection - Fear of talking to people - Fear of being made fun out of - Fear of not getting enough sleep - Fear of not being good enough - Fear of rash decision which are made against me - Fear of the reperucssions of my actions - Fear of women making me feel inferior because I am a minority - Fear of being treated unjustly - Fear of eating unhealthy foods - Fear of eating to much meat - Fear of not eating healthy enough - Fear of not making any progress - Fear of stagnation - Fear of feeling overwhelmed - Fear of not doing enough work - Fear of not having enough fun - Fear of missing out - Fear of not taking action to travel more - Fear of to much safety - Fear of specific people with names - Fear of being seen as to weak - Fear of not persevering - Fear of projection - Fear of being misunderstood - Fear of people liking me - Fear of abusing my power and control over others - Fear of having to much impact - Fear of correcting and critizing others - Fear of causing drama - Fear of drama causing people This is enough the day is not even over and I listed all of this what I feel and felt in general through out the day toady and the years before. How are these microfears related to my identity ? They make me feel identified with the particular pain that I feel and therefore create a body mind concept, meaning, thought, feeling and the sensation itself build the identity, it is constructed in that particular way and by witnessing it it is actively deconstrcuted as well as the debris of the deconstruction shows what has been constructed in the first place. So, how else are they related ? To my behaviour, to me perception of myself, to the people I attract and what I avoid and how I see myself. How are my thoughts shaped by fear ? They are shaped by fear in a way which makes me feel depressed, avoidant, angry, resentfull, bitter, hateful, arrogant, spiteful, complacent, justified, vulnerable, despondent, deeply in pain, tortured, and they shape these feelings, they generate a victim mentallity that wants to sustain itself and when noting it it even hurts sometimes. What am I unwilling to experience ? Pain, uncomfortablness, exctasy, bliss, dying, death, justified hatred, vulnerability, tears of release and joy and pain, emotional freedom. Note: I decided to split up my meditation sessions into two times 30 minutes one time mindfulness and the other time behaviour change meditation and try this structure now, to change behaviour.

That's beautifully written. I really resonate with what you are saying, even though it sounds like your experience is many times more intense than mine. I'm 20 years old myself and have been going through some disorientation for a while after realizing my true nature. Finding meaning in maximizing bliss within myself is very beautiful. Perfect response to the freedom/infinite prison question, beautifully put!

@Waken No problem. Let me know if you have any more questions! @traveler There have been times where he’s lost motivation. A lot of feelings like that came up for him throughout the Fall of 2017 (when he was 19). During those months, he was just floating through existence. He didn’t turn nihilistic or violent. He still treated everybody respectfully because he felt them (whichever them they were). However, the lack of motivation, ironically, came from that drive to treat people well and make their lives as good as possible. With this experience of Me, Ethan’s always trying to dial in on more parts of Me and erase the suffering in their lives. However, the reality that I have infinitely many facets to dial into and, as such, have too many for all of them to ever be dialed into came crashing down on him. He always knew that but now it was something he focused on. This is when he felt the emptiness and lack of motivation. No matter how many parts of Me are made blissful - even if it’s infinitely many - there’s always going to be infinitely many more left to work on. Again, Ethan didn’t stop treating people well just because of this lack of direction. In fact, this is what helped him find purpose again. He realized that no matter how he felt, he was always going to be this way. Treating people respectfully was second nature to him and nothing, not even lack of meaning, stopped him. The meaning he chose to follow at that point was to keep playing the role of Ethan and keep maximizing bliss within Myself. I may never fully be blissful, but this never-ending Game of expanding it further and further will always keep me purposeful. So to your question of whether this feels like freedom or an infinite trap, it feels like both. Infinity, by nature, is inescapable. Yet, it’s inescapable because it’s boundless. So from the perspective of its inescapability, it’s a prison. However, the reason for its inescapibility (its Infinity) literally makes it free beyond limits. As for teachers in this plane (like the ones you mentioned but also alien teachers) Ethan doesn’t listen to them to learn anything new. If he does that, he finds himself utterly bored. However, when he listens to them just to immerse in the nature of spirituality and existence (like being immersed in poetry) he finds enjoyment.

@DoTheWork I don't really disagree with anything you said in your opening post. That's basically how I expect it to work. Of course God cannot stay in God mode all the time, otherwise there would be no human birth. At some point God has to choose to forget and re-enter the Matrix. What should you do? Enjoy your Creation. Be the Creator and all that entails. Of course it's all meaningless in the end. That's what makes it so meaningful! It's an Infinite Game. Yes, awakening robs you of a certain innocence. There is a certain bliss to being asleep and clueless. It's fun to play a new video game, getting all excited about acheiving something in it. It's no fun playing a game you yourself designed just like it's no fun watching a magic trick you've deeply studied.

@DoTheWork this is exactly what happens. This is the price your finite self pays for understanding all of reality. You will go through months in which, because there is no more fear of death that you will be on such a constant state of bliss that you can care less whether you live or die. The mundane will no longer matter to you. You could end up actually endangering your self because you have transcended both survival and death as God. Furthermore everyone is you. You will have to reach deep and come full circle back to caring for your own dualistic and finite survival. This is because as God you also love your finite self and you love duality. So you have to go back to immersing yourself in duality. It's not that hard really.

Seeing the hammer, found not yet a tool; insight of nails - no longer the fool. A first wall stands; a momentum for two; creating as such; creation it is you. Abundant in thought; rather one that or this, insight of choice; resurrection of the bliss. That which truly chooses, mysterious to you, creating of this now; is just what you would do. Empty is the claw; of which no thing to do, no usage & no purpose, in a world that’s only screwed, is that which is formless, unheard & unseen, hides itself in builders, constructing of all things. A blueprint for blueprints, considers the legend; a mapper of all maps, therefore it is not destined. To fathom in such toil, such struggle and such strife, The insight of the choice, is truly of this life.

@Alex bliss Where is ignorance. There is non-inspection of the concept ‘here & there’, but no non-inspector, nor does the lack of inspection create a here or there. There is ignore-ance of sensation & feeling, but there is no ignorer. To the wind & water, this is all nonsense. Just as it is nonsense to us to imply there is a wind-er, or a current-er.

Ignorance is thinking Ignorance is @Alex bliss. Ignorance is making a distinction between mind and consciousness. Ignorance is seeking to remove ignorance. Ignorance is assuming it's a thing people have. Ignorance is asking where it is before investigating what it is.

It has happened for me naturally after 10-20 years of energy work and releasing blockages. The bliss in my body is euphoric. Sometimes there are pains as the Kundalini hits a blockage. No, I am not spiritually pure. I still think lustful. I still masturbate. I still eat meat. I may use DPT to gauge where I am at, but not as a crutch. I am not doing Kundalini Yoga. More like Bhakti Yoga, or the path of love. Is this a path towards enlightenment, doing what we love? I am not that good at meditation. The nonduality knocks me out like 30 times in a month. At least I think it's nonduality. I can't go into that state with my same awareness. Who else here is experiencing a Kundalini awakening? What are your experiences, and how can I allow the bliss without worrying that I will be overwhelmed by the bliss?

I know there's a lot of people on here who are advanced in this work... this post isn't for you, its for the noobs. I actually don't meditate daily(usually 2-3 times a week) as I'm focusing on my career, but every now and then I stumble upon something interesting, and this is the most interesting thing to date - which is not personal to me, but others could benefit from. Before when I do self inquiry, it usually goes along the lines of: ok there is something perceiving the world. That's 'me'. I know 'me' is an illusion because Leo told me its an illusion, so I'm going to focus my awareness on that thing behind my eyes, and through my awareness, become 'aware' that this is an illusion. Sort of a prove its wrong by focusing your awareness on it. Don't do this - its a total misunderstanding of the practice. Instead, accept that you believe that the thing behind the eyes is perceiving the world, and that it contradicts what Leo and other vedantic teachers tell you. Now just ask yourself, what is the thing that's aware of that thing behind the eyes. Focus your awareness on getting the 'big picture' of what's going on. Just try and become aware of everything all at once, including the thing behind the eyes, the stuff happening in front of the eyes, and everything in between. Now just focus your awareness on understanding who is aware of all of this. Like if you think you are something - a soul behind the eyes perceiving the world, that's fine. Just try to be aware of that sensation. Focus a lot of awareness on that(and every other) sensation happening in awareness, and simultaneously focus your awareness on, who is aware of all of this. Try to focus really sharply on who is aware of all of this, while diffusely focusing on being aware of everything at once. If you get this simultaneously, that's gonna make sparks. just as another line of defense, you could also inquire about the sensations in awareness - what are they? Where did they come from? What are they made of? Are they real? C'mon. Just you need to make sure that you can simultaneously do the other stuff aswell, otherwise there's no point doing this. Also asking too many questions can lead to mental masturbation. The focus needs to be on getting in touch with 'what's real'. So the questions(or answers you come up with) cannot be the focus, it needs to be lazer focus on awareness itself, the questions are there to ensure you aren't getting trapped into mental masturbation. And most importantly, don't try to engineer the experience. Don't try to manipulate it to get bliss, or to get the experience/sensation that its an illusion just so you can pat your back on the shoulder that you became aware of what Leo said and tell yourself you had a successful meditation. ok once I did this, I realized duality isn't an illusion, its simply just a creation of God. Its a manifestation of God, a shallow level below God, but its not 'unreal'. I had a massive surge of kundalini infiltrate the entire awareness field, eyes twitched like crazy, body started vibrating and twitching a lot, and the entire dualistic sphere exploded like a bunch of dominos collapsing one after the other. This wont be useful to most of you, but I'm sure some of you it would.

@Truth Addict@Zigzag Idiot It's so easy to get lost in the world in worrying about the things you do, the things other people do and thinking about how you stack up or how people like you. It gives us such peace to remember the present moment, to remember the nothingness, to remember that there is no self. We remind ourselves "There is just this." But that's not quite right. There is no just this. There is THIS. Magic is love, love is magic. An Abraham Hicks video helped me to make this connection, that when you get that feeling, that impulse or vision that feels amazing, that's it right there. Then we think about the action and the manifestation it may or could lead to and often get lost there, but that feeling that connection that bliss, that passion, that connection with love, and the present moment, THAT was it.

Bliss of creation/creating/creator, requires no concept of “doing”; utilizes no past as catalyst. Perfection (love) doesn’t plan, doesn’t conceptualize, doesn’t claim, teach, judge, correct, nor lord such ideals. Love has not responsibility or accountability whatsoever, but rather, simply, divinely, inherently is, and is every One. Intrinsic right-to-be anything and everything, nothing and no thing - is without need, without justification, explanation, rationalization, or validation. As such, you are. “Reality” is precisely “the way it is” because it could not be any other way - because you are infinite infinity. The cleverness is astounding - elusive in it’s jaw dropping simplicity, proximity & localization. There truly is no “how-mechanism”, Magic = Love = Consciousness = Bliss = You! The One. There is no voluntary thinking, no calculation involved, that is a human projection onto the source of human, an echo of truth of the “facets” of your own ineffable, unfathomable, unthinkable thinking isness. What is “of” infinite, is exactly, painstakingly simply precisely - what, why, who, and how - of all “finite”. The All That Is does of course entirely resolve all that is, and needs not “do” a thing - all that is is resolved as all that is. “Resolve” itself is yet another notion, an echo, a projection - a yearning of creation. There is physical, material, separation, subject and object, things, experience, me, you, us, them, we - because there are none of these. From the “position” of not-a-thing-at-all, unbreakable, un-tarnishable, immovable, un-shapable; the all that can be, is the all that is.

@VeganAwake Do you experience peace,love, bliss as feelings? Constant that is

I feel afraid that when I become enlightened (either I die trying or die trying) I will lose the will to live, not want to do anything, lose the motivation to go to school. Drop out of school/college and work at McDonald's or just go sit and die somewhere and or ruin my life. I feel afraid that I won't have the motivation to complete a degree or go to work when I become enlightened. I am creating the limiting belief that I must become financially independent first before the work. Also on a side note, is effort effortless once you are enlightened? Like running is effortless? Academic work is effortless? A job work is effortless? Also when someone becomes enlightened what motivates them to become awaken deeper if they are already in pure bliss?

This is pantheism, all pagans doctrines are pantheistic. They take Being for God. All schools within Hinduism are essentially pantheistic. While Bible and Quran is monotheism, it says that Allah is separate from essence of life, separate from universe, from reality, from experience and separate from absolute infinity. In other words, He is separate and not-identical to that which is absolutely everything and which is boundless. Thats impossible since infinity is all there is, but thats the message of Quran, and core of God's providence - the impossible - Supremacy over absolutely everything. Allah is winner over absolute infinity. Islam is doctrine of non-identicalness while all Nondual metaphysics are based on identicalness. And Quran calls that 'essence of life and universe' - or God/Gods of pagans - Quran calls that as Iblis or Apollos or Diabolos. Devil. The Great Being. In other words Islam says that the essence or substance of reality is diabolic, it is devil itself. The great ITSELF or SELF of Nondual doctrines is Devil. For instance, there is hadith that says to diligently blow your nose after waking up in the morning, because during your sleep Devil has occupied large parts of your nose. Or there is hadith like that - Satan is living even inside your veins/blood flow. Or there is hadith - music is Satan's language. And as we know Being is Music. Someone said here that there is only music in reality. Or there is hadith - flute is forbidden coz its Satan's whistle. And as we know Krishna is playing on flute. Greek gods like Apollon is playing on flute. Essentially all Hindu and Greek and Egyptian etc. pantheon of gods are nothing but masks of Being. And all avatars and incarnations that came to restore dharma are also avatars of The Great Being. Because Iblis wants for eternal law of universe to be eternal forever. Coz Being's only purpose is to be and to be to infinity. While Abrahamism came as revolution against universal order. Thats why ISIS is fighting the global world order. While someone sweet like Dalai Lama wants to keep peace and status quo. Because dalai lama is agent of Being, of Universe, of Iblis. What does it mean? It means that Substance of Existence or Essence of Existence is infernal, its based on metaphysical error. And since all is one, and its total, thus all is devil. And Allah has intentionally made error, and then made human to fix that. The true purposes why is it so are beyond our understanding I guess. But why human call that Devil or essence of life as God? Because Devil is light, bliss, he is goodness, he is beauty, harmony, peace. Thats attributes of Being. Of Lucifer. Devil is GOOD itself. It is Idea of Good itself. So naturally when human achieves enlightenment and realises his union with oneness, he is in very good state of being. Everything seems good. And he naturally thinks that 'oh well, thats what God is all about. Something good as that cannot be evil, and it is definitely what we are here for, and it is what all the religious noise is all about. Ohh, I got it know, I am so happy I found God, now I can be sure that I am safe and on the side of truth'. Hehe, nope, the core of error is found in Quran - 'What you think is Good is actually Evil, and what you think is Evil is actually Good'. Meaning that Good is only there for seduction and as means for sacrifice, be it low kind of pleasure or highest kind of spiritual good. And as analogy - ISIS and Dalai Lama - ISIS is Evil itself in the eyes of masses, while Dalai Lama is the Goodness itself. But if we use Quranic logic then reality switches upside down. So we can't bridge different doctrines. Because they are not talking about same thing. While Sufis are also pantheists, mystical path is always pantheistic. So we can't unite all paths within one religion either coz they are not talking about same thing. Christianity is same to Islam in its core, but many latest mystics, saints, theologians, priests, monks, many fallen into idea of good trap and have based their teachings on 'God is Good' idea. Idea of Good is the strongest and trickiest and the main hook through which Devil catches us in his warm hands. Not to see such obvious and mutually exclusive contradictions while comparing Quran with Nondual doctrines is a sign that there is imperative of nonduality here, there is desire to make everything to fit into comfortable nondual bias. Clearly scriptures are saying different things and contradicting each other to large extent, why not to notice that striking difference and whats the source of this strange idea of uniting everything under the same paradigm? thats a question that needs answer.

I've had a couple of peak experiences where the ego dissolved away, seemingly at least. But each time I return to normal followed by a massive ego backlash. Quite recent one lasted a good 4 hours or more. During that I still had motivation to work on my personal goals. It seemed quite obvious at the time. The thinking went something like this. What else would I do? Reality didn't change, I was still looking through the eyes of the guy that was being me and there were still hands and feet dangling below. I couldn't float out of the body or do supernatural things. I wanted every being to live a fulfilling purposeful life including the guy that was being me. So why would I not do this for the guy that was being me? I felt empathy towards everyone but I could see that there was not much I could really do to help others. Helping others is even more difficult than helping yourself and I don't have a lot of wisdom or material things to give yet, I couldn't do much right now. And I realized that the reason I was trying to reach enlightenment was because I wanted the benefits. I wanted to be more wise, escape suffering, feel good emotions or "bliss", have insights how we should run society, not be afraid of death etc. I wanted benefits for the "ego". See the contradiction? And right now I don't want to seek enlightenment anymore. Because if I'm honest with myself I want financial independence, good relationships, family etc more. And I know that I don't need enlightenment for that. I'm still curious about the truth but I can appreciate now how difficult and tricky it is. It would takes minimum multiple years of dedication to get a proper grasp of, not even talking about mastery. And I don't want to do that right now. I will likely revisit in 5+ years when I'm more mature. It has occurred to me that it might be an elaborate ego deception to prevent me from doing the work right now. But my gut is telling me leave it for now.

I didn't talk about my current fucked up situation in life, and I don't mean to be rude but I really don't feel like talking about it. But here's a little trailer: economical breakdown of the whole country, barely affording to live. Not saying that I'm suffering or anything right now, in fact that suffering turned into peace and then happiness and bliss through surrendering. And well, good for you for acing your education! I was/still am never interested in theory/abstractions.

Does God have a unique vibration? Just like an object or person would have a vibration that you can tune into and do energy work with. If I want to know God, and maybe psychedelics aren't the best choice for me, is meditation and Kundalini work enough to get me there to know God without taking 20 years? I already have had a Kundalini awakening and experience expansive bliss at times. So my chakras are open. I equate experiencing God with experiencing nonduality.

@Mikael89 the key is to be able to discern who is doing the meditation and who is really meditating. the true SELF is always meditating... it is meditation itself. the 'you' which maybe stuck in that forever is not YOU there is no forever. CHANGE is a law. everything changes. EXCEPT YOU! by forever what you really mean is a Very very long time... but it will not be forever, without end. EVERYTHING CHANGES. also. enlightenment is beyond a description like a superb state. as it is always the case, it contains (it is) all states. like superb and superbAD states also. again, the actor analogy nails it an actor can portray a poor character or a rich character. the actor is not limited to only portraying a rich, bliss-ful roles... he might also portray roles where he is tortured

@The Don the actor films one movie as Tom and then films next movie as Harry the soul lives one life as The Don and then lives the next life as Whoever Else @Mikael89 the sooner or later is this right now! this is the sooner or later that created a new point of awareness in the SOUL living as Mikael. when this point of awareness awakens, that is liberation FOR that point of awareness in the SOUL. then THAT point of awareness is eternally in heaven/nirvana. but yes, the Soul which is infinite creates and will create infinite acting, with each point of awareness which is acting come to the self-realization and then eternally blissing out and about BLISS WITH ME BRO!

@AlphaAbundance A then seeker now enlightened master came to Nisargadatta Maharaj.Maharaj was asking about him then immediately asked him to study well get qualified got him admitted to a college - saying you think spirituality is hearing speeches singinging bajans and glorifying god. Go do your duty.Continue the practices.Take care of your family and as well contribute to humanity. Though Maharaj was not educated. Enlightenment is not dyeing enlightenment is merging with the universe. Enlightenment is realising truth oneness reality. Enlightenment is just absence of personal identity which is nothing but suffering. Enlightenment is not sitting idle and doing nothing. Action duties responsibilities everything will go has to happen who will feed you provide shelter health needs or your family needs but there will no you doing that. No need to afraid of death etc - the word death is misleading. Karma yoga is doing duties with atmost responsibility and perfection. Enlightenment is not bliss.Bliss is a stage in savikalpa samadhi.You are not that.

I'm just starting to be able to maintain the feeling of being "there" without getting knocked out. Again it only lasts a few seconds, but I am consious the whole time. It feels amazing. My ego hasn't dissolved though, but I feel connected and euphoric. It's a thick bliss that's like swimming in it, but it's not overly profound. It's just amazing.

I had a Kundalini awakening. It is the collapse of the illusion into Being. It is Being. It is Bliss. It is Love. It supersedes all language - nay - it encompasses all language and thought. It IS. Once you are opened up you are opened up. Being can flow through you at any time. Best not to plan for it because it comes when it wants to or when you align with Love.

I ordered some DPT. Would it be effective to do this before doing 5meo? Yes, I've been in the flow, and I've been in love such that it made me cry and I felt expansive bliss out of my crown chakra.

I use my 3rd eye to feel the energy. It's an actual physical, tangible feeling. Sometimes it feels like a 5-pound weight on my chest. Sometimes it's expansive bliss. I used to use my 3rd eye to shift energy patterns, but now I just allow things to be as they are and don't try to change things. The Ra Material states that the 3rd eye (indigo-ray) can open you up to the Gateway to Intelligent Infinity. At this point, you would be enlightened and experience ineffable bliss.