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1) Consciousness affects matter (I'm curious what someone like Sean Carrol would say about these studies) 2) LSD and Magic mushrooms have been shown to reduce brain activity (contrary to what materialism would assume) https://www.bernardokastrup.com/2016/04/the-lsd-study-youre-being-subtly.html https://www.bernardokastrup.com/2014/08/magic-mushrooms-and-brain-activity.html 3) Instead of weakening, the brain is more active than ever during anesthesia (again contrary to what materialism would assume) https://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/what-really-happens-brain-during-anesthesia-truly-terrifying.html/ 4) A new paper argues the condition now known as “dissociative identity disorder” might help us understand the fundamental nature of reality https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/could-multiple-personality-disorder-explain-life-the-universe-and-everything/

I watch Leo and Bentinho for six years and this is probably my favourite snippet ever. Just listening to it, after 9 minutes I feel like after 1 hour meditation. One with everthing, and naturally loving and joyful. You can feel sincere happiness of being, of existing in Bentinho here. I recommend watching the whole thing but the gold snippet I am talking about is between 29:25 and 40:00. I think it is perfect combination of Nonduality and God-Realization in very simple words.

Disclaimer: I am NOT trying to put Leo's teachings in a bad light or anything.. this is simply words of caution for those who are prone to depression and also pathologically and seek truth in all aspects of existence. I used to be a "light Hindu" as a child .. I was brought up with the notion that there is some sort of God and afterlife.. but I never cared anything about it and didn't really pay the God question any time. In my teens I started getting existential.. unlike most teenagers..but also unlike most teenagers I got almost obsessive. Leo's videos helped me to move from stage blue to stage orange (before even hearing of spiral dynamics yet ). The separate God/after life perished from the realm of "possible" quite soon because his videos In 2016. Objective morality followed shortly after that . Free will evaporated as well easily once my intellect had taken full control of my mind. The last "battle" for my sanity was the ultimate "Is there ANY sort of meaning to life" question. And fair to say: sanity lost to reason once more. A few months post these radical realizations ..a realization added ontop of years of those other realizations I found myself isolated..without any ability to think forward in time. I was stuck in a frozen brick of existence. I tried to desperately fool myself back into the "safe" blissful ignorance. I tried to convince myself that I could live normally again without those comforting beliefs that leo have shattered for me ... But I realized it was just a futile reflex trying to perserve my being. Then I decided to join the forum .I joined two years ago ..and started asking questions nonstop to the point Leo has threatened me to "do the work " and stop "mentally masturbating" my way to awakening. But what he meant is I should basically start doing psychedelics .I couldn't get my hands on any because of their illegality in India. I went to Thailand to hunt some hookers few months ago but also I found that all psychedelics are banned there . So I continued posting here my contemplations and my mental masturbations . And to be honest ..I had glimpses of the "Ox " here and there just listening to Leo's videos . Until I stumbled upon his solipsism video .and that was the final nail in my coffin. Ever since I listened to that video I can't get out of my mind the idea that I'm all alone (the only conscious "thing " in existence ,as Leo tells the viewer in that video). I went mad for a while .my ego was out of control. It took almost a year to get past it. It took more than a few sexual experiences ..learning some skills or making some money .i told myself One day you'll realise how stupid you were for thinking any of that would help. I overcame it through understanding that not only did I not have all the answers..but that the answers I had were not the whole story. There's far more grey than there is black or white. I told myself: "Why are you so concerned with things you can't do a thing to change? What difference will knowing "the truth" actually make in your life? If you focus your mind on things you can't influence.. you will naturally become detached and depressed". I suffered.. and still suffer.. from clinical anxiety disorder. I formed a nihilistic view on life before I'd ever even heard of the word..or the works of philosophers like Nietzsche. Yet.. I've found..existentialism and nihilism to be of benefit to my mental welbeing. Although.. I can understand how the idea that life is inherently futile could be construed as depressing. But now ..I consider myself "enlightened ". NOW what do I mean by that ? I mean the following: I no longer believe in any thing .no belief systems whatsoever. Not even direct experience. Nothing at all. Total and complete not knowing and childlike wonder . I see all worldviews including nonduality and solipsism as just mental noise . I'm completely free from the shackles of the conceptual mind .I see that nothing I think or deduce has nothing to do with TRUTH. TRUTH is more serious than finding it on a forum or listening to a guy talking on YouTube. You must commit your whole life to it .and that's what Leo is doing .and I'm not.

Yes You Will Know Them by Their Fruits Matthew 7:15-20 Ken Wilber: "The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs and I found that over the years they just become mean. Somehow it just kind of closes them down. It's like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience" And I would be more than happy if Ken Wilbers obversation doesn't hold on certain cases, and further integration and growing gentleness & love & compassion happens. Yet, we have come to see time and time again that all the past declarations of moderation have had their "challenges in implementation". Yours truly has learned the hard way that going aggresive on anything is a less than smart idea, because doing that immediately stops any kind of awakened nondual state by closing down, cutting the flow of bliss, love and compassion from the source. Causing only more suffering on top of the suffering/pain occuring by the thing causing the aggresiveness. There is no stable baseline state of staying awakened without compassion and love. And the alternative to compassion and love can only be ones own suffering. That learning & knowing (and not allowing closing-down emotions&actions) is one of the advantages of going the sobre paths. One learns time and time again not to do certain less than smart stuff because of the negative effect it has on ones state. Instant Karma so to say. There are "security locks" on Nonduality & Awakened states & Enlightenment installed by Reality itself, and of course having an autoimmune/allergic-reaction on something happening in ones visual field, in Ones Own True Being actually, (and that something can be a different opinion written in a forum, criticizing certain core beliefes/values/whatever) splits the Nondual Reality in two and causes duality and suffering. Without compassion & love (in Buddhism Boddhichitta, but all spiritual traditions have this sort of value and practice) it is impossible to truly rest in a stable way in Ones True Nondual Nature. And it is even logical: If one hates a part of oneself, one has an autoimmune/allergic reaction, making one sick/not healthy, and that splits Nonduality into fragments (one fragment/appearance hating the other fragment/appearance): Duality & suffering by definition. Selling Water by the River PS: And "not caring about being human" is of course not the path of differentiation & transcendence and integration (or healthy growth), but differentiation, disassociation and failing integration (sick "growth"), stopping continued transcendence/growth in its tracks, leading to a variety of symptoms and failed growth on many development lines. For more on that, see Ken Wilber growth model, describing in detail exactly what we can watch here. Best described in Wilber, "The Religion of Tomorrow: A Vision for the Future of the Great Traditions" (see quote below). Ken Wilber in "The Religion of Tomorrow: A Vision for the Future of the Great Traditions" One can step deeply enough into thetimeless Now to step into another dimension altogether—just step right here, and push hard. It’s easy to get lost in those worlds, which are, at bottom, simply different dimensions and perspectives of one’s own (violet) consciousness (although, as noted, from another angle, they are all real, ontologically different realms because they are each genuinely co-enacted by a different perspective in consciousness). Given that this stage is the first great transition from “earthly” realms to “heavenly” realms (as a permanent structural enaction), getting lost in these “higher worlds” is indeed one of the most common dysfunctions of this level. The deeply transcendental, otherworldly, electrically visionary nature of consciousness at this altitude makes fixation to this side of the street an incredibly inviting and alluring venture. This is likely to couple with the dysfunction, discussed earlier, of standing in heaven and giving a blistering critique of life here on earth, with all the semiprophetic pomp and pomposity that comes with it. One of the things that often happens with these specific dysfunctions is that, after making some initial discovery of a timeless Now or pure Present (either in 3rd-tier structures or higher states), one can step into that Present and then step right through it into what seem to be endless, “deeper,” “higher” realms altogether, a kaleidoscopic cascade of universes upon universes that at one point seem to be nothing but a slight wiggle in this moment’s timeless Now, and then at the next explode into almost infinitely extending real realms that are all alive and invite exploration—with a sign on the door that says “Welcome to Heaven!” This is extremely common in high subtle and low causal states, but if it happens with structures, it tends to happen right here, with the violet meta-mind (due largely to its visionary nature). In short, getting “lost in heaven” is the most common dysfunction of this level. As a dysfunction, it is—in terms of simple numbers— much more common as a result of a malformation in high subtle or causal states (given that subtle and causal states are much more common than this high altitude, and most states, and their dysfunctions, can be experienced at almost any structure-stage). But this problem is simply the living result of the enactive nature of the real world and the fact that consciousness can co-create an almost endless number of universes, any number of which one can become fixated or semiaddicted to, with straightforwardly dysfunctional results." And for experiencing all of that, meditation and/or Out of body experiences (OBEs) are and have been an alternative methods to psychedelics (which also have been used ever since, see "Secret Drugs of Buddhism: Psychedelic Sacraments and the Origins of the Vajrayana" for example. For access on these realms via meditation/OBEs/psychedelics, see also the work of for example Jürgen Ziewe (OBEs), Christopher Bache, Stanislav Grof, Rick Straussman, Andrew Gallimore, Graham Hancock in Visionary, and so on. Lot of other sources on request. There is nothing new under the sun. "Although my view is higher than the sky, my respect for the cause and effect of actions is as fine as grains of flour" - Padmasambhava

I see so much oneness/nonduality talk. An yet how many of these people if any can say they're okay with giving up attachments to many of their objects and aren't as tied to the 5 senses. Many religious founders spoke of a divine ecstasy/love rapture that is a fruit of spiritual development. An yet where is it and who talks about it? Curious what you all have found. Thanks :).

I think Leo is skilled with the cognitive and mental aspects of nonduality, but he doesn’t seem to have anything to say about actual embodiment. His content is so cognitive-centric that it can spin some people out.

I never made this assumption. Just like all humans I started my spiritual work with the exact opposite assumption. It took me 100s of profound and painful awakenings to finally rid myself of the assumption that stuff exists outside my mind. - - - - - - You are absolutely wrong. GOD IS ABSOLUTE SOLIPSISM. You are not AWAKE and you don't understand what AWAKENING really entails. There cannot be anything outside your own MIND. Because your MIND IS INFINITE. If anything existed outside your own MIND then GOD would not be omnipotent nor omniscient. As you soon as you imagine any sense of "other" you lose your omnipotence and omniscience. This is the very mechanism by which GOD becomes not-GOD. It is absolutely true that all humans are a dream. You don't like to accept that because you will feel lonely and very depressed. Therefore you refuse to surrender the imagining of other people and you blame and project onto me as misunderstanding spirituality, when of course the one who doesn't understand spirituality is you. You are a perfect case-study of how Buddhism and nonduality leads to self-deception and false spirituality. You have been trying too hard to be a good little Buddhist boy, but none of that will ever be enough to AWAKEN. You must destroy all of Buddhism and nonduality if you actually want to AWAKEN. Pretty obvious stuff. What you consider my greatest pitfall is just projection. It's your greatest pitfall. But you are making one even deeper projection. You are literally projecting my existence. In fact I do not exist outside your mind, and as soon as you stop imagining me I will cease to exist. I hope some day you open your mind deep enough to comprehend me. Much love.

Tsk, tsk... Nonduality.

What's it like at the lowest level of nonduality? Leo has been many orders of magnitude beyond this. Do you stop thinking? Once one has a Kundalini awakening and is working toward it, how long will it be to reach the initial stages of nonduality?

Your stuff is perfect as is. You never glorified Buddhism or nonduality. You always taught direct experience. None of it should be taken as religion. But the no self realization is not a dream. The realization of Infinity is not a dream. Realizing that you are Notbing is not a dream. Realizing that you are Alone as God is not a dream.. This is the dream.

That episode was an accurate rendition of a Zen model. People into Zen will find value in it. But I am beyond Zen now. It all depends where you are at in your journey. My top priority now is to make sure people don't get trapped in Buddhism and nonduality.

Well, BazookaJesus is the most AWAKE, and Nobody is enlightened. Ok, enough kidding. Awakening: Basically, you can experience 95% of Nonduality/Mystical Experiences with a center/separate-self still not fully seen through/transcended. And that is what prevents fully realizing or Being Absolute Reality/Infinite Consciousness itself. You definitely can have Unity/Nonduality Experiences with some kind of separate-self (although often quite empty, ego/persona quite transcended) still well & alive. Full Enlightenment: When these last remnants of the separate self disfiguring True Nonduality (or ones True Nature of Infinite Reality itself) are seen through, transcended, suffering ends and grasping for experiences/insights/understandings end. Impersonal centerless Empty Boundless Eternal Infinite Consciousness/Reality. That which you and every being already is right now, can never not be, but are (maybe) not fully aware of. Semantic Challenge: Often Enlightenments and Awakenings are equated and/or confused. But most often, Enlightenment is considered an "end-state", an end of suffering. Understanding of relative stuff and exploration & the adventure of course can continue. But beyond Full Enlightenment there is only more relative stuff (form) to explore. The Absolute Reality has been understood or realized. Suffering is dramatically(!) reduced and the potential of Ones True Nature to fully end suffering is understood and takes over understanding/being what One really is is the hallmark of Full Enlightenment. More on the topic: And confusing Awakening and (Full) Enlightenment is confusing the road to more high-level-dreams (with some necessary illusion/ignorance/suffering) with the road to the Deep Identity Level Shift of Full Enlightenment, or the end of suffering. All has its time and place, and the point of the ride is the ride. But at some point, comming home is also wonderful. Beautiful Book: Coming Home: The Experience of Enlightenment in Sacred Traditions, Lex Hixon Bon Voyage Water by the River

Very brief no self. I'm just recounting what I think is accurate from what it seemed after that, before the memory of it faded. I've had a tonne of drug trips including ones which led me to discover mysticism (as in nonduality, monism), but that no self thing just happened really briefly. I've tried to force it again but can't do it... If you look around you, see how everything seems to be some distance in front of you? Try to make it so it seems equally as behind your head and beside you etc as it does in front. So long as the self remains in the picture, you're going to feel a dualistic perspective, sort of like there being a camera lens facing the image. If you can actually erase the camera (perspective) from the image completely, then it's that. There's only a difference between the moment of your bodily death and the next if there's some essential soul component to you, so you seeing Big Ben is different from someone else seeing the exact same image of Big Ben, BECAUSE (and this is why it's important) in that case there seems to be the image of Big Ben IN ADDITION TO a sort of self. Without the self, no matter who sees the image of Big Ben there is only the image of Big Ben both times. That's the real state of things before the ego gets added.

I know you have your experiences. It just seems like question begging that you have been wrong in the past, so what makes you so sure that your highest awakening isn’t the highest deception? I mean if we take the nonduality logic on, everything is one and equals everything. That applies to truth being falsehood and awakening being a deception. That means that all dualities collapse including your highest awakening being your highest self-deception????????

Yes. Let me allow to hijack the post Beyond the "no-self" of no biographical self/ego self there are some more "encompassing" "higher" no-selfs. Or better said: Some stages of much more empty no-selves. First personality/biographical self/"ego" goes (1) then time goes: Always here Mind, time is just a concept (2) Then the locatedness of being in the body for example goes: one is the whole visual field, or beginning nonduality (3) then that becomes infinite. Anything that could appear appears in boundless Reality/Infinite Consciousness. (4) Then we have personality/egoless (1), timeless (2), boundless/nondual (3) and infinite (4). All of these are Awakenings/Enlightenments. But not the Full Enlightenment/Waking Up. But then there is even a murky no-self still there: It is nothing, totally empty, but still some individuality/separation still there, moving as I-thought/I-feeling on Reality/Oneself. This here: IN that state (1)+(2)+(3)+(4), when all last traces of individuality are seen moving within onself (that takes time), then the Big Bang or Waking Up or Full Enlightenment can happen, where one actually becomes Reality, no more questions left. And Infinite Absolute Reality/Infinite Consciousness/Nothingness can be described as (True) No-Self (since no individuality is left splitting Reality in two), or as Self (because all possible worlds appear in it). Then You ARE Absolute Reality (everything that shows or could ever appear, and all beings/perspectives), but no longer confuse a separate individual part for your true self. I have written about that before in previous posts, one can search for examle if one is so inclined for Basis Enlightenment in my posts. The problem quite often here on this forum, and with the effect of some of Leos teachings: Thinking one has realized No-Self, while one has NOT achieved True No Self, but some of the preliminary versions of No-Self (see above), boosted by psychedelics, and including a lot of higher realm stuff accessed with that. Nothing too bad with that, if it is just a step/stage, is just not the end of the story, and doesn't end suffering. Or worse: Not even having had the Awakenings (1)-(4), and just conceptually boosting the separate self and equating it with God/Reality. Problem of these stages: Instead of finally transcending/killing the separate self, these moves boost it. And most important: Only @Bazooka Jesus is awake. I mean, come on, that mother of declaration of AWAKE can not be topped, so I think that is something we can all agree on Selling Water by the River PS: To make it a bit more practical: Ever dreamt you were somebody/something completely different? Or dreamt of being just an empty camera not self-reflective at all, just watching, thinking and reflecting nothing? That is pretty near. Infinite Consciousness is totally empty, just aware. Can take any feeling/thinking of being anything, anyone, anybody. It is empty, impersonal, so that it is compatible to any mindstream. "IT" is already the Awareness of all Beings. YOU! Already. But not what you think you are. Only an empty Awareness can be in the perspectives/mindstreams of other beings/perspectives, not the "loaded" mindstream of a being that still feels separate (has ego-arisings the cause the illusion of being something specific/separate). Imagine being somebody/something completely different. An Alien. A cat. And YOU, your Awareness is still there. And nothing really is lost if such a shift were to happen. So nothing is lost, just the illusion that all the thinking/feeling brings, moves, in you. And besides this Awareness/Nothingness, nothing is, was, ever will be. THIS is also all appearances, Consciousness appearing as appearances, nondual. IT is Reality itself. And to fully get/understand that, ALL identity has to go. Impersonal, Fully Empty Awareness. Nondual and infinite, timeless, always here, never not possible being not here. Anything possible necessarily appearing in IT/YOU. And the True One/You are still there... Impersonal. Silent. Infinite. Aware. Timeless. Containing all appearances. Nothing besides it. One without a second. Reality itself.

Alright… man it’s been awhile. Again I remember this online Journal and I know it was very beneficial for me. I’ve actually been getting some people to start writing their own journals… not online but personally. I have been enjoying myself lately. Nothing big and exciting, but damn it’s so nice to just relax and chill and just see what differences I’m experiencing now. And it’s been amazing. Lol… if anyone sees or hears what I’ve been doing lately they don’t really know how I could be loving whaat I’ve been doing… but that’s the whole thing right… being able to find joy anywhere at anytime doing or just being whatever I choose to be at any moment. I feel readjusting my values helps me see where I’m focused and it’s been rewarding. I also try to mention values to people, but no one’s bit on that concept yet… hehe. So yeah my conversations are changing up a bit. I’m definitely feeling like I’m getting better at being patient and listening to where they are at and give a little bit of wisdom in words that i feel they understand. It’s great to find people who are opening up more on our conversations. It’s really nice. Granted not everyone but that’s where my discernment is kicking in. I”m just not spending much time or effort when people aren’t being receptive. It’s like I’m noticing when they’re not really listening.. hehe. I can see when they’re just in their heads and their listening to their thoughts instead of engaging in conversation. And how I’m not getting frustrated as much. So… there are people who are interested in sharing ceremony with me. I love ceremony so i know I’d like to share with others, but I know many aren’t really ready and so having conversations there’s a lot that can be gained by spending time and attention with them. I did end up sharing ceremony with one of the close friends I had growing up. I believe I’ve mentioned her before. I also asked if I could share our experiences together and she said it’s ok with her. She has been the first person where I could see that she was open to what I’m learning. I find myself chatting with her and I’ll even be saying out loud that I’m surprised at what I’m telling her. Sometimes I know I go too far and it’s over her head, but I think it’s good to plant seeds. She’s got serious curiosity. She thinks what she’s asking makes her sound stupid… and i have to reaffirm her that her questions don’t make her look stupid… they’re great questions even if they sound simple. Simple really goes deeper if she’s wanting to go deeper. But we shared a Bufo ceremony together. I had mentioned the trifecta and last time i was here… I wasn’t adding the third element in ceremony… so she started to get nervous. She knows she doesn’t need to be anxious, but she can’t help herself. I told her it’s normal and healthy… but I know in the middle of ceremony we’ll laugh out loud that we had to talk about possibly having a challenging time. Because she’s pretty natural in this state. She’s one of the ones who actually hasn’t gone into too much research with what I’m sharing her. I’m confident that she trusts me, and I continue to tell her that she wants me to share about my experiences, but her experiences are going to be different. But I feel it’s best to not have too much expectations going in. We didn’t even do the trifecta and I told her that is always the case as well. I don’t know how far we take each ceremony anyway…. Lol… but after ceremony a few days later… I finally got her full attention to ask how ceremony went for her. I mean I know what I experienced and she stayed the night with me. But the next morning was Father’s Day so she had her errands to run and then her daughter had her 21st birthday the following day. So she had some busy days… I tried to stop by the next day but she was taking a nap and so I waited. But she’s like how in the world can we explain it? I laughed with her… it’s not really anything we can explain. But we do enjoy expressing our experiences so we just have to have practice… this is a good time to start. I know we spoke during ceremony, but how would you describe your experience? She gets so excited when she tries to explain. Her hands shake and she feels her body vibrates… at first it was so powerful and intense… in fact she pulled the trash can closer to her as if she felt like she was going to throw up. I saw her doing this… I was finishing up my hit and as I was placing it down… I just whispered to her to relax…. Breathe… and she started to breathe and she went to sitting and then laid down. I remember smiling and saying… this is what life really is. In my mind I’m getting more hopeful that the people I’m sharing ceremony can experience nonduality. But also in a general sense I expect them to start laughing at themselves and at me and at all the people we know… everything as in fear, doubt, worries, and pain melts away…. And for this moment I anticipate people will just start laughing at all the bullshit we put ourselves in… lol… but that’s not what happened… but she was closing her eyes and breathing deliberately and slowly. To her at this time and other moments we’ve shared in ceremony she says…. It’s everywhere… it’s everywhere… I don’t know how to explain it but it’s everything. I chuckle and so do she… She realizes that doesn’t really explain anything but she doesn’t know how to describe it. She looks at me and asks me… do you know what I’m trying to say? Well… with my experience and knowing you…. I’m not sure but when I hear you say that and how you say it is that you are realizing that everything is a part of you. It’s going from being a spectator and looking at things that are separate from you which is over there… but then you realize… oh it’s not over there… it’s here and it’s a part of me and I’m a part of it…. Lol… am I close? And she’s like yeah… that’s how it feels. Now I want to go deeper with her about this… this is a very important insight but I want things to settle in for her… and also finding a time that we can be by ourselves again to really chat. But as I was thinking about this… this is a good way to explain to people the difference between recreational to intentional psychedelics. One of many but this one… intentional psychedelics can give you the experience of oneness which has many degrees. Yes she seemed to understand that there’s something connecting everything together. When she looks around the room she doesn’t see a space where it doesn’t exist. But I’m not sure she really connected that it’s too as well… I think she did but I want to make sure see gets planted with this fact… even if she doesn’t see it in herself.. I’m sure she can feel it. I might try I to go more into the fact that she is intimately involved with what she’s experiencing. And the more conscious part of her is creating this experience. That’s a good way to possibly explain Aya ceremonies too… she’s ultimately creating the experience so that’s why her experience is very personal. And so it’s easy to digest that she possibly could be creating a psychedelic experience, but ultimately that’s what’s going on at all times… but she won’t realize it at first but having that run in her mind in the background… it might get her to be more open. I’ve already been emphasizing the trick is to not know rather than to know. It’s easy to reference a friend of ours that we hangout with… its one of her neighbors. She confesses to me that it annoys her when he acts like he knows it all and it’s obvious to us that many of the things he says he knows.. he really doesn’t. And so it was an easy example to explain that he wants to know it all… since he knows it all then he’s not really as open to learn knew things. Granted we know things… but we can always know things at a deeper level… so if we’re more open to know we don’t know it all, then our learning can be accelerated. She’s got a good handle on what I’m trying to tell her, but I know she can only understand by what she’s experienced and reflected on. But again I’m around to help trigger her memory when she gets distracted… lol. There was a long moment in ceremony where we just stared into each others eyes… it was as if we were locked in… and I asked her if she remembers this and she said yes… I said that a way to explain this is we’re able to look at ourselves at a soul level we could say. I asked her if she was trying to describe who she was looking at? When I was looking at her… I wasn’t thinking of this is Desiree and this is the girl I’ve been close friends with since sixth grade. She has a daughter and on and on… I was looking at you who is me being able to observe ourselves in a really deep manner without all the backstory playing in our heads. She agreed and said there has been many points in ceremony where she seems to be able to look at me at the soul level. I tried to explain to her that not all the people I share ceremony can see each other at that level. I tried to explain that I have a rememberance of the soul level when I speak to people. Again… lol… sometimes I’m waiting for everyone to start breaking down laughing realizing that we are playing out this story we don’t know each other… but we are ancient and infinite friends… lol… so do we really have to play this game out? But it’s not like it’s not fun to play this game out.. but really… really we know each other at a soul level…. Lol.. anyway I told her… even though I’m aware of this… I have to play out the game to see where they are in the game, right. If they’re on the level of strangers and having all these problems they have to get a handle on… I’ll play it out. And honestly I’m getting better at playing this game out. I think I’m better at playing along but also seeding a few things for things to get their minds curious enough to explore more. She knows that I like to give examples… and she also knows that many times I’m giving examples to explain what I’m seeing in her experience… but also it’s helping me learn at a deeper level for myself too. She’s very observant and bright… she just doesn’t have that confidence in her and that was her main message. First of all she asked… what do you actually mean when you say you get messages. I said… do you have any moments when you’re in ceremony and your mind tells you something to notice or understand? She said well I think my message was “to focus on myself”… and i chuckled again… that’s an amazing message and I was getting that for you too. I remember telling you that in ceremony and I remember when she said yes… focus on me… it wasn’t as if she heard me saying it… but she was saying as if… yeah that’s what I was just getting it and you were able to say it out loud and it helped me understand this is important for me to remember and feel. I told her during ceremony that she just needs to relax and be patient… her mind needs to slowly adjust to the changes. But there’s not a manual to tell her what she needs to do to focus on herself. She said she understood… I told her spiritual work is challenging because she’s got to try many new things and there’s no guarantee that it’s going to be a fit for us… but going through that process we get more discerning… and also as we mature… our process will mature with us. The thing with her… she is a recovering addict… so she knows the tough choices she had to make to get her out of her addiction. And I told her… there’s going to be tough choices ahead of her still… if she really wants to focus on her spirituality. She’s a people pleaser and I know exactly how that is and the challenges I’ve had to face and overcome to see where I am wholistically before I go to help people right now. I know a few suggestions I have for her, but I’m not sure if I’m going to tell her… maybe in passing if she wants some suggestions. I have already told her she’s the authority of her life… so i might keep it that way unless she wants some specific suggestions. That’s another thing I want to mention… when she asked me what I meant by receiving messages… I though that was a great question… because to me it’s very obvious… but after she asked me… I realized how someone won’t understand unless they’ve had it themselves. So yes… in my experience I’m not having someone else coming to me in ceremony and telling me messages… again it’s always felt like it was myself but I guess my higher consciousness self giving me messages… and I know now that my state of consciousness will interpret and understand it in the way and manner I could at that point. And I know when I go back to my messages I can see something that I missed the first time. But it was good for me to get better at explaining to people when I know the areas that aren’t really clear. I can put it a bit clearer for people… the best I can… hehe. There has been a few times where I’ve heard an actual voice that did seem it was something “other” than me… so again… in these states I’m interpreting them as other… I still seem to enjoy feeling there’s an alternate version of me who wants to guide me. Because… when I heard these voices… it was shocking and jarred me… because again it was as if I heard them through the ears not through the mind like as if I’m having conversations in my dreams lets say… they hearing is mental hearing but not filtering through my ears mostly.. but when they filtered through my ears… it really does seem more significant and strange. I don’t think I’ve told her all the ways I’ve received messages… so yeah I guess this is helping me figure out opportunities to go deeper with her if we can find the time.d. Of course… once we get together it’s much better to go with the flow and natural… so maybe it’s not just for her and me why I’m writing it out. But yeah… in my hometown I’m running into some interesting characters… and i”m really enjoying myself. I’m finding myself more open for spontaneous attractions as well… so I knew I wanted to get out and explore more. I went to the wastewater plant in town and I thought it was cool… I had already heard about the process but to see it and get it explained by an enthusiastic employee was very awesome. I know that triggers community designs and gets me wanting to ask more questions and see the other styles of how other communities do it. Just one example our little town the sewer and rainwater is combined. He mentioned this so then I figured there’s other systems where they are separate…so I’d like to see what the differences are. It was pretty funny too because they updated their system about seven years ago… so there were plants and trees growing in their older buildings and since I studied a bit about Earthships and I love the way the recycle water… I asked if they’re using the plants to help filter too… and he laughed… no we just aren’t clearing out the older spaces as often as we should. That’s when we used sand to filter out… and so I asked him what the differences to the update and the changes they made. That was near the final when they used to put chemicals into the water and then used the sand to do the final filteration… they use the ultraviolet lights now as the final step to sterilize the water before placed back into the creek. I also would like to know more about the activated sludge that’s created…. we went into the lab, but he’s not part of the lab so he just explained the basics and we saw a chart of the microorganisms that can be or is part of the activated sludge. But I believe they have farmers come and pick it up to make fertilizer. I wonder if I can get the company name again… he named a specific company that’s not too far from our town who takes the majority of the sludge… if I could do a little field trip there too… it would be fun… there’s a few things popping up all over the place that’s drawing my attention…. So I’m not sure who and what I’m going to bump into… but yeah… life is good… until next time

The relationship between healing psychological dysfunction and nondual awakening or enlightenment is much more nuanced and interesting than mere nonduality dogma that "enlightenment is all you need." What happens in reality is that enlightenment rids one of the problem of the I-thought, which clings to certain personality aspects (i.e. The Ego.) So shadow work is much more difficult and less fruitful before enlightenment. It doesn't mean shadow work doesn't take place after enlightenment. You're not just magically saved after you see through the I-thought. That's not how it works, that's not how any of this works! Only then can the process of shadow integration really proceed without resistance, and it takes many years for it to get far enough so that you can say you are anywhere close to "healed." But if you lazy motherfuckers think you're just going to be magically saved after reaching enlightenment, you're in for a world of disappointment. The issue is that you have decades of habits built up from having an ego that don't just magically disappear. You have to use you new insights to rebuild your habit structure, so that negative habits are shed and positive habits ingrained. That's what "heals" the brain (i.e. trauma patterns, maladaptation, etc.) You could do that now, but you won't, because your ego is in the way. None of this stuff is mystical or complicated. It's just difficult to change because of the ego, that's all.

Do you think Lex is a good person to talk to about deconstructing reality and nonduality? He is a sharp lad but I've not seen him have those types of conversations with people. It would probably be more like practical spirituality for busy people 101

Wow, that has set a very high benchmark for a 1000th post. If that isn't art, I don't know what is. So if there are any imaginary nonduality-wars to be fought (Arjuna anybody?), lets do them relaxed, with compassion, cool, with style and smart. If our Bodhisattvas Manjrushi & Guanying are going to continue to do their thing, then in the 21st century they sometimes need the support of Bazooka Jesus & company: Long live the one and only AWAKE Bazooka Jesus! Water by the River PS: Um, who exactly is there awake?

good = this benefits my survival evil = this threatens my survival Absolute Good = God = Nonduality = no more dividing reality Why do we use Absolute Good as a pointer and not Absolute Evil, even though Infinity is basically death, the end of survival? - You'd have to ask God for that one.

And just a symbol.

Only 10mgs ( my first ever thc gummy). just lot’s of input. i’ve also been listening to a lot of nonduality talks, today for example these https://youtu.be/X6A5a_FZPak hope it’s no psychosis ?

Around Nov/Dec last year, I had read, watched (including Leo's excellent videos, which have impacted my metaphysics deeply) and contemplated Nonduality long enough for it to start breaking down old structures apart. There was an earth shattering realization about my work in science: science isn't probably going to answer the questions I wanted answered. To make matter worse, something inside me had realized this well in advance and I found that I had hit a huge wall of procrastination (though I didn't understand it at the time). My work life was suffering and at the same time, though I had zeroed in on self-inquiry in my Nondual exploration, I had no idea how to actually do it. There were multiple points of confusion: 1) How to exactly self inquire? 2) How to integrate it with the rest of my life 3) What is the guiding principle to orient my actions in the relative world, and what relation it has to Nonduality? Around that time, I came across this megathread started by Akilesh/@winterknight: I was quite impressed with his answers and, like many of you, I had a sense that they were coming from an authentic place. I started talking to him one on one and finally I opted for weekly phone conversations for a guidance fee. I also read his book, How to find what isnt lost, in the process. As our personal interaction started, things started to unravel and settle down in coming weeks and months. First and foremost, he helped my understand my own procrastination. He guided me through multiple 'hitting the wall' moments of self-inquiry, resolved many existential doubts, and helped me avoid many of the subtle traps of a spiritual path. He explained my many doubts about Advaitan metaphysics and how exactly it related to self-inquiry. I finally reached a point where things were integrated enough for life and self-inquiry to be self-sustainable. There is a harmonious life now, well integrated with a background spiritual inquiry, that comes to foreground multiple times on a given day. There is content and peace and, equally importantly, a healthy engagement with the relative world. I can honestly say that this transition wouldn't have been possible, or at least would have taken much longer, it it weren't for Akilesh's personalized help. My orientation to nonduality is Truth, so I really appreciated that he did not sugarcoat his statements. He was brutally honest at times, and he did what many teachers don't do: accepted at points that enlightenment doesn't mean you know answer to every question. In fact there are many important questions on which there are speculations, but no definite answer. No one knows. This really helped my mind settle down into unknowingness. How to find what isn't lost was an excellent concise instructional book on modern perspective on Advaita and, more importantly, how to actually practice self inquiry. Most books on self inquiry are those claiming to be by Ramana Maharshi; but they are actually not written by him. It's always compiled and translated by someone else and is in Q&A format, and it is very hard to extract the exact instructions of the practice, especially for a beginner. So if you are interested in self-inquiry, you must give it a try. I am writing it here so in case you relate to the place I was at, you can give what worked for me a try as well.

Long story short: The ultimate nature is playful I am eternal I am timeless I delight in my own creation Short story long: Hello friends It has been a while Nine months have passed since I fried my ass off with 200µg of LSD last Septemeber. After a lot of integration and working on myself in everyday life I found myself in a good spot to drop some acid again. Once more tripping all alone; no tripsitter, no safety nets. This time at an isolated place in a nature reserve where I am currently working but with half the dose – 100µg of LSD. I was worried the acid might have lost some of it’s potency due to being stored at room temperature for over a year now, but these worries were unjustified In comparison to my last trip: Less visuals, less sacred geometry. No Kechari Mudra this time ;-) Deeper, more raw energetic kundalini stuff + some surprises More Death | more Non-Dual | more Love ! So here’s what happened: 18:00pm : I drop the tab, read “The teachings of Don Juan” and listened to the fabulous “Leylines” Album by Aes Dana. ~18:45pm: Can't read anymore, I start dancing. Dancing is great way in & out of the trip. Strong desire to be more aware of my body. Exploring energy moving through the shoulders and neck – I should straighten up my posture! Only slight patterns and visuals at this point, but my mind is already going places.. After some dancing I come to a dead end, gently drop to the floor, arms out to the sides, and watch myself die. I seem to somehow have skipped the comeup and directly went from "barely any effect" to "full blow trip"! Tingling at the base of the spine, light in my head. Here the unspeakable territory of yogic states begins. This is what I saw Dry analysis is ego, Light shines through in emotions This life is my offering to you, Shiva Angels and demons guard the same door Ravenous energies moving up the spine With pleasure I kiss shut deaths eye How does a self self-terminate? In the end there is nothing you do, you just give in to what was your deepest desire all along – you surrender and explode in ecstasy! There was no-Self to begin with! Oh dear Lord! Self-awareness kicks back in, but the meditator within me doesn’t want the endless orgasm to end – “I can last longer!” – so he keeps the body unmoving and goes for some more rounds on the strange-loop of (non)existence. I arise from my ecstatic slumber. I get up and go the bathroom, pulled by strings beyond my control, and face myself in the mirror. Hard to explain what happened there. I see myself as I am, with all my tensions and imperfections. My face morphs through various beings, from angelic benevolent rabbits to demonic shapeshifting lizards. From time to time my reflection disappears comepletely, leaving just the empty bathroom. I take off my clothes, look at my body. Imperfect by flawless design. Divine, tempting! I watch myself transform into a woman – androgynous mastermind Goddamn shapeshifters! ;-) I walk back to the living room and sit down on the floor, meditation posture. I vividly experience “energetic blockages” in the right side of my body, specifically in the right abdomen slightly above the navel. Left is conscious, right is unconscious. I had been increasingly aware of several “dysfunctions” on the right side of my body over the last months, now it all was very clear. The root of the energetic distortion lies deep within the right side of the pelvis, hard to explain. This is my karma, this is the work I have to do! For the first time I connect this to the appendectomy I had 10 years ago. I repressed the entire procedure! I let the memories surface with as much love and awareness as possible. Funny to look at it from the nondual perspective; I cut out a party of myself Because it would have killed me Interesting That was the first part of the trip, the peak; Surrendering, experiencing some esoteric/mystic/ occult/ecstatic far far out stuff you can’t talk about without being tackled from left and right, merging with the Absolute, reentering into karmic existence and clearing out some baggage on the way. Lovely. The second part of the trip was all about embodiment of nondual consciousness and how I fail at doing that. Huge lesson. Here's what happened: I stand up as God, as Myself. I look out of the window; flawless nature, the sun is setting. I gaze into the sun. Aligning the small ego self with the big Godself. Merging with love, drowning in love Infinite Pleasure, Infinite Love, Infinite Death, Infinite Anything Hey, babe… I’m the sun I love it all so much; I want to go outside, I want to be with my creation! Egoic fear starts surfacing. I know I am all alone out here in nature, but it could be possible for some coworkers to come by. They can’t see me like this, walking through the garden, all ego-less!? Inner conflict. The same resistance you feel when for the first time engaging someone you truly love; fear of how it will turn out, fear of the unknown. But an irresistible urge to do so anyways. You have to trust, and step forward with love! I put on some shorts (huge mistake! :D) and made my way outside. Why did I even lock the door? Was I afraid someone would come by, rob, rape and murder me? I just kicked in my own front door and shot myself in the head! (with Love) Nothing to be afraid of now, hahaha It feels good to be outside But there are still old patterns, memories… God would have just walked off into the wilderness I turned right and slowly, consciously, step by step approached the garden and with it my synchronicity moment of the year, a funny little allegory about psychedelics and God-Consciousness; God-Me walks into his garden and sees a rabbit, feasting and nibbling on the tasty, fresh and young strawberries God-Me had planet just a week ago. Gotcha! God-Me stands still and intensely focuses his piercing gaze on the God-Rabbit. The rabbit abruptly stops eating, crouches and contracts in fear. God-Me loosens his tight gaze, squats down, extends his hand and mentally says “It’s okay you little rascal, come here, I want to love you!” The rabbit runs away. What a shame, I just wanted to love it. I sit down and reflect. If I really am myself, the rabbit, the strawberries and the garden, what does this mean? No time to reflect. I hear the sound of an approaching car - coworkers incoming!! They can’t see me like this, sitting in the garden all ego-less! With fear I contract and run back into the house. I am the rabbit! I want it to happen without drugs, that’s the only excuse I have Fear is the basic mechanism of separation; fear of Death, fear of Love, fear of Self Back inside, back inside my egoic safe space. I realize there was no car approaching at all. I just imagined it. What a shame, I could have just loved it. Too much of this love kills me Inside I sit in meditation and contemplate what just happened. I realize I have to give it another try, I have to come out of hiding. In addition to the shorts I put on a shirt and again venture outside. Now I feel more comfortable about being outside. I have to slowly adjust myself to these new levels of consciousness. So much energy in the system. I sit in meditation. Again I hear the sound of a car approaching. Same old fear, wanting to run inside. But NO! I am creating this! And I choose to create out of Love, not out of fear! I sit still. No coworkers. So much energy!! I get up and spontaneously do some impromptu Tai-Chi / Kung-Fu / Martial Arts. So that’s what that stuff is all about! Most of it must have looked uncoordinated and weird – my first real training session! Some of those movements however… If you really focus, intensely zone in… Mind&Matter moving together This is how God creates! Directly – effortless will I TaiChi-myself into a fascinating realization: Who cares about a few mosquito bites… I am a motherucking MACHINE ELF! The intelligence that guides the separation, the code that runs the divine operating system! Eternally recreating myself… My heart bursts open, it feels so good to be back, I missed myself so much! Like a father, like a mother, like a son, like a daughter, like a brother, like a sister, like a teacher, like a friend, like a lover “I love you!” Is that really true? “Sure babe, I’d tell you anything. I AM you!” Not much happened after that, I was just awake for 6 more hours. I meditated in the house, again naked but wrapped in a blanket, exploring visions of myself as a Sage, bathing in this new awareness. Dealing with the aftermath of chemically induced kundalini, trying to get the energy out of the system… Then I fell asleep at around 6:00am Takeaways from the trip: Love! A call to authenticity and spontaneity! I already am on that path, just gotta keep on walking… The destination is radical but it is worth it! (+there is no other option lol) Getting more grounded in the body! More Yoga, maybe start doing TaiChi. There were two more paragraphs I wanted to write. One about how I failed my own Zen Koan challenge (realized the answer but didn’t act it out). The other about Love only being perceived when there is something to be loved. But I don’t know how to express that without starting nonduality-wars ;-) So I’ll just leave it at that. Here’s a goodie for you to chew on: I am that I (1) create the Two (and remain in between) Did you get it? Love you all!

What if samadhi and nondual experiences happen in trips because we had the idea? @Leo Gura did you expecience God in a trip without thinking about/beleiving in it before? Like, is it universal to have these experiences for example on 5-meo?