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When I dropped the outside expectations and ideal teachers, and quit all the knowledge of the world, I've awakened.

Well I think Leo and I are a lot alike. He seems to have consumed a hell of a lot more books then I have and tasted the depths of nonduality through dmt and personal practice. I've meditated for the past 15 years, been apart of a few spiritual communities and focused my attention on understanding truth. I've consumed little books but listened for hours to awakened teachers. Some mushroom experiences were also very helpful in waking up. Leo seems to be in a "unfiltered with a slight edge" phase of wanting the world to change and having a little frustration with the closeness of human minds. If used this energy is used correctly it can help people, but also turn off if not wielded right (so far I can see that his heart is still in the right place). This is not a critisism but just a little observation that could be full of shit haha as he puts it in his latest video.

I was sure that jim carrey was actually awakened , it was something in his work and roles . Btw The Truman show was a life-changing movie for me. What do you say?

Hi Jack~ I call "intelligence" the conditionally relative aspect of conscious knowledge overlying the nonpsychological nature of real knowledge. But if you mean to employ the word "intelligence" as a reference to one's [spontaneously effective] use of immediate nondiscursive knowledge, then I would make a slight modification to the wording: Seeing is objectively sensing what is, as is, in terms of selfless nonpsychological awareness, no different than your own mind right now— yet in terms of spiritual subtle adaption, there is no energy employed as an act of affirmation or denial as knowledge is immediate. It seems I am splitting hairs, but the reason I am making the distinction is that acceptance/denial is relative to created energy, whereas enlightening activity as defined by "turning the light around" is already keyed to potential, so my modification to the quote is: People must be careful to keep in mind that such "intelligence" is not found beyond one's own mind right now. Real knowledge arises spontaneously as a matter of course (not just for those awakened to their selfless nature) and those who practice subtle observation of mind are eventually able to recognize its appearance in the midst of habitual thought-streams. This is why 24/7 subtle observation of mind is such a critical aspect of authentic self-refinement. There are other reasons as well that I won't go into at this time. The critical aspect of spiritual adaption to situations is borne by the inherent pattern of the situation itself, so I am being hyper-sensitive to the use of the word "accept" in the context of your statement because virtuous nonresistance would seem to imply just what you wrote, yet I am making the distinction between "accept" (so as not to imply that it means "affirm"), as opposed to "deny", for the benefit of others who may read this and mistakenly assume that "accept" is relative to the person— which it isn't. Since seeing is relative to selfless nonpsychological awareness, there is no superfluous affirmation or denial to speak of in the context of enlightening perception. Inevitability as a watchword for enlightening activity means that the karmic nature of all created things (including situations) are destined, in that every created cycle is embedded in its own matrix of potential or "situational DNA". Enlightening activity is just the practical knowledge of karmic patterning and furthermore watching for its critical junctures. All situations are cyclical. This is what make their study (in terms of taoism) a science. The Art of War states that "victory depends on the enemy" in that conditions conducive to apropriate action in response to developments cannot be manufactured beforehand. One must await their inexorable inevitable development. One must know what is being awaited. One must know the ground of life and death and be situated advantageously unbeknownst to anyone. The word "enemy" signifies the nature of the situation itself in that one's impersonal adaption depends on its (the situation's) parameters exclusively. This is why victory depends on the enemy. The Art of War is an ancient classic long included the taoist spiritual canon. This is why I say that one must, in fact, be ultimately vulnerable in order to carry out the subtle operation of the Great Vehicle as a Tathagata in terms of Complete Reality neither ordinary nor holy. The critical junctures of Change that I speak of are the ground of life and death. The alchemical term is the Aperture of the Mysterious Female: Chapter 16 of the Tao te Ching Return is the critical juncture(s) of all situations, material and immaterial. As in all things, the celestial pattern is expressed as the function of its process. Ego is a valid function, therein lies its value to the organism. It is not a thing. It is empty, utterly attributable to conditions. All created cycles have these critical junctures: the times when the gate and door defining the aperture of the Mysterious Female occur. Chapter 6 Therefore, it is to be understood that it is, in fact, used. It is also to be understood that its function is the unchanging unified fabric of inconceivability (referred to as gossamer silk in some volumes of the TTC) which is subtly operated in the context of ordinary situations according to the time by those with the power to comprehend its function in order to influence events. These two chapters from the Tao Te Ching do not just refer to mystical experience, as the celestial pattern permeates reality. Adepts arrive at partnership with creation, and are therefore not subject to its karmic cycles. There is no escape, yet liberation in the buddhist sense means that in the midst of delusional process, one does not go along with creation in that conformity with essence is preternaturally outside the primal organization of created incremental time and space. As I have mentioned many time before, it's an utter inconceivability, which is our nature in terms of human being. There is a chapter in the Kuei ku-Tzu called Opening and Closing. Let me clarify a few terms: heaven refers to the inner mind; earth refers to nature, the essential ground of reality; society, man, the sage, refers to a function of human potential. Assessing objectively and adapting impersonally is sage activity, whether it is accomplished by generals, buddhas, or enlightening beings. In every case, it is accomplished by those whose hearts have the power to take hearts. "Sages are not humane; they see all people as straw dogs." The Mysterious Female is not a place; it has no location. It arises naturally in the course of created karmic cycles. It is indicative of the celestial design. Those who see the opening and closing of the gate and door of the Mysterious Female are able to transcend Change while abiding in the midst of its changes. This is enlightening activity. Grain by grain, one gathers the elixir. Occasionally, a person will spontaneously comprehend an aspect of the phenomena of the secret of the celestial mechanism and conclude, "so what". This is what is referred to as knowing without the ability to act on knowledge. If one knows but is unable to act on that knowledge, it is the same as not knowing. It is simply not having the requisite personal power to act on knowledge. Authentic self-refinement is the means to gather and amass the potential (personal power) to see reality and act on knowledge by non-doing. Ordinary ignorant people whose personal power is inadequate to use energy aren't thus. Using it is a matter of amassing the energy to partake of energy. This energy is the nature of the Way and its Power. The power of the Way is another name for Virtue. Virtue is the inherent quality of enlightening being. Awakening to enlightening qualities is the result of self-refinement. What is refined? The human mentality. ed note: parenthesize "enemy" in 8th paragraph

Another Jail Break that applies to multiple disciplines in life is the art/practice of leaving open the possibility of what you don't know and whats possible (one could argue this is a quality that comes with awakening past egoic limitation, but I think its bigger than that since people who many would agree are not awakened benefit from this realization). This is really deep and profound. Really really understanding this can uncork what ever bottle neck you are having within almost any field. For example in the field of making money. Some people just don't believe that its possible for them to be rich, wether its because they have limiting self beliefs or it just doesn't seem like it to them based upon outside economic factors (lots more reasons you could insert here). This art/practice of acknowledging and questioning your idea the impossible (which is only impossible from your stand point at that point) can open up possibilities within athletic performance, spiritual knowledge and experience, healing potentials, capacities one can build into one's actual life like remote viewing or astral projection. The list goes on and on. I'm gonna have to look into how to bring this out in others more because its so radical what it can shift.

Yeah. As far as I know there is relative knowledge and absolute truth. We are looking through the lens of relative knowledge, from which the absolute truth seems just like another special branch of relative knowledge. But it is not, we have heard so many times by all the awakened teachers. So everything will seem strange until indeed there is no resistance to it. But then you wonder if that's actually viable... There's this quote from I believe the Bible "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They don't toil, neither dothey spin." Meaning: Everything is provided for (thus drop your silly ego game, basically, and be free) On the matter of you not choosing to be where you are right now. That seems to be false as well. Everything is as it has to be, there is not at all anything wrong. Not at all. Okay then. Nothing wrong, what's next?... Nothing? What's the point of changing a situation if it's fine anyway? This is where Leo jumps in saying NO that's not true- There is more after enlightenment. You still have to go for a better relative situation. But how can you change your relative situation when you are inside it? Do you see where we go wrong my friend? Because not just you but me (and presumably over 90% of people on this forum) have this exact vantage point and it's not helping us. And I am confused about it all!

This practice is not for beginners nor for the ungrounded. It requires mastery of Kundalini, otherwise one will end up with heavy pain in the back of the head and heavy delusions. I've done this, had to go into many experiments and pain until I've mastered the technique. Why is grounding necessary first? Because hallucinations can happen during the practice or heavy drama/anxiety can arise. Now that you know how to ground yourself, I can say, this is the 3rd focus in your attention. First being Breath followed by Muladhara and it's rivers, with all the 5 first chakras in sync, now is when you can move on to the head, and the gate, pressure and release points are located in Muladhara. A word of advice: if you are a skeptic and new to psychic possibilities, this is not for you. Because this is so powerful if done correctly as or more powerful than a DMT trip. What are the benefits? The possibilities are limitless on what can one see inside and outside of the body system. It will help a great deal with eyesight in the long run. When I say limitless I talk about seeing the reality as it is, and reality is beyond visible light and beyond the 5 senses. So for those who awakened and are not afraid to see past a wall per example, or seeing an object kilometers away as one looks at it with a telescope, or seeing emotions that take geometrical forms or a common piece of wood/rock having consciousness in a very humane feel, or looking to any object and see all the information about it, try it out. Using the inner sight in sync with imagination to have full 3d experience anywhere in the world or any place in the universe. But most important is to use the inner sight to untangle oneself from own delusions and rewinding all the memories. Why awakening is required? Because it involves going insane, putting aside the mind, and if you are not prepared you can lose yourself in the mind and its concepts about what you are experiencing. Here are some youtube videos of Sadhguru and Master Earth point of view on the matter:

Hi Jack~ great reply …merciiii Enlightening capacity has no applicable relation to the personality per se, because enlightenment is unattributable, and the personality is; the phenomenon of an habitually self-reifying "you" is a temporary functionary properly in the service of one's nonoriginated enlightening potential. So yes, it's true, the relative "you" cannot be identified in terms of enlightening experience either in terms of the absolute (sudden) or in otherwise temporal (incremental) contexts~ which, in either case, is the working definition of liberation, by the way. To the degree one has effectively carried out an unbending intent toward relentless self-refinement of the psychological basis of personally acquired i.e., karmic habit-energy, one accrues the benefit of a gradual lack of burdensome identifications relative to a personal self— which is the enabling factor in reversing the role of the personality from one of despot over the true self to one of spontaneously sensitive response in the service of the true self. The capacity for sensitivity and effectiveness on the part of the "personality" is a seamless accord with true reality. It is not that there is a separate self conscious of being in service to a higher order of being. Mind is one. There are no two minds. The true self is no such self to possess anything. The true self is not a point of self-conscious discernemt. There is no self outside of awareness itself. True self-awareness is impersonal selfless living potential perpetually on the verge of going into action, yet there is no lurking compulsion. Enlightening intent is the just the nonoriginated awake quality as is in perpetuity. Therefore, even in terms of an absolute nature, "there is no thing". That this truth's inconceivability is transcendentally operative in the midst of delusional existence is evidence of the fact that reality and delusion are not different. Enlightening activity is possible by seeing reality in terms of the situation itself, not in terms of the personality.There is no over-arching logic or system of organizational rapport in literal mechanical terms. Reality is the expression of "sameness", that is, selfless unity. That's awareness. The nature of awareness is awake unified nonbeing constituting immaterial potential not different than creation. Conditioned conscious awareness sees "clinging" karmic nature and nonpsychological (real knowledge) awareness sees enlightening potential, or essence. It's the same light (to speak characteristically of the substance of enlightenment). It's not that one sees "light" in terms of nonpsychological awareness of potential comprising the essence of created karmic being. The key point is that reality and delusion not only look the same, they are the same. That's the power of the "buddha way" being the correct study of oneself. The world is the sage. A sage or a buddha is the stabilized unified awareness of seeing unity as is, complete perfect Suchness. Those who see Suchness as is, see reality no different than delusion and see themselves as the same. It's one's inherent inconceivability come to the fore. The response-body's effective enlightening function is directly proportional to the degree one has put to rest the psychological momentum of the "thought/experience/self", as you termed it. To the degree psychological momentum ceases to be (a moving kinetic factor relative to external and internal triggers), it loses its artificially creative/created gravity and its influence over one's inherent uncreated aware enlightening potential. That would be pointing to the ending of psychological habit-energy and its thought/experience/self momentum. As enlightening potential comes to be available to one's ever-clarifying conscious awareness, one is able to understand the meaning of the fact that there are no two minds for the first time and that the situational aspect of the personality is the totality of creation at any given time— that's not cosmic woo-woo, it's your own mind right now. It's all just you, however you happen to see it, whether accruing karmic indebtedness or its lack, which is the manifestation of the real from within its (karma's) midst. The real is found by virtue of the false. They're not different. So for those who have awakened to seeing it as such (impersonally), the human mentality turns out to be none other than the shining unattributability of one's inherent nonpsychological awareness of immediate non-discursive knowledge. This has absolutely nothing to do with sudden enlightenment. The spontaneous experience of sudden illumination is just an evidence of efficacy we have no control over. It literally means nothing in terms of developing an effective practical basis for impersonal adaption to the cyclical nature of karmic evolution in everyday ordinary situations. Your observations on the clinging nature of one's habit-energy attributable to the self-refying human mentality are accurate. That's why karma is "bondage". Psychological momentum (thought) is the aggregate of karmic concretions compounding eternally. It's just the way creation works. It's not good or bad, per se— but there is an open secret left behind by prior illuminates: we are already the essential nature of enlightenment and there is a way to refine away the ingrained psychological attachment to habit-energy. Words are the basic element comprising thought. It is a great subtlety of immense proportions. This should be penetrated by the those with the will to enlightenment. Nothing short of sheer audacity will do.

@Elysian I would put effort into integrating the experience, rather than trying to categorize it. There are many flavors of mystical/awakening/enlightening experiences. You got a double scoop of a flavor. There are more out there. Once you have more direct experience, they will mature and you will begin to see nuances and subtleties. I’d also be aware of awakened teachers that describe a portion of your experience. Sometimes I find myself saying “Yes! They’ve been there and knows what it’s like!”.

Currently, I don’t feel a strong enough pull to pursue that. Yet, I sense I am evolving in that direction. Well, this is a post-rational thread and you seem to be asking the questions within a rational framework (by assuming only yes/no answers and using a materialist paradigm). If you reached a place of stillness and awakened to a post-rational answer, would you accept it? What if the answer that arose involved the integration of concepts such as purple and discipline? Would you rationalize that answer away as being irrational? Your questions also assumes an observer and object. What if you became aware of a place in which there was no observer or object? Would you let go of the materialist paradigm and explore that area? One can spend a lifetime in rationality. Don’t let spiritual rationality fool you. I estimate I spent over 100,000 hours in a rational thought trap before escaping. . .

I wouldn’t want to do it alone. I would want to be at a Turquoise-level institution with awakened beings where we integrate science, metaphysics and nonduality. This area is just starting to emerge, yet is still considered fringe pseudo-science. If I evolve high enough, I may become a pioneer in this field - yet right now it looks unattainable and too risky to me. Personally, I would like to investigate if mutations are nonrandom and some paranormal phenomena. Yet, my institution wouldn’t be open to that. Yet, if I develop more confidence, I might try to pull it off. Yet stage Yelow stuff is lots of fun to and my institution is very supportive at that level. They just don’t like any whoo whoo stuff.

Is it possible to not be an hypocrit ? Like 0 hypocrisy at all without being awakened ?

If the entire world was enlightened, a ton of industries would collapse. Not just therapy. Awakened people spend less money on materialism and escapism overall. A ton of industries are collapsing right now because a large portion of the youth are becoming green stage.

I disagree as well. This is why spiritual bypassing is so dangerous. From the absolute perspective, your ego doesn't exist. From the relative perspective, it still does. You're still wandering around acting out your shadow. I could see an awakened community having less of a need for this, because they generally have simpler lives revolving around sounder principles.

@Serotoninluv exactly ??? also this question has been killing me, what's the difference between be awakened or enlightenment? I feel like some people think they are the same thing & some people use different meanings. I've had a kundalini awakening experience (it was wild) but I sure as shit am not enlightened.

I lived within an awakened community in the mountains of Peru. There was no need for therapists.

Deep on the website (channelhigherself.com) I found an interview with my spiritual teacher and a young Woman. Through dedication to Lincoln’s teachings she became spiritually enlightened. This shows that spiritual enlightenment is possible for us all and it fills me with so much inspiration to continue on this path. Namaste ? Full Interview: https://channelhigherself.com/videos/interviews-appearances/spiritual-living-what-it-is-like-to-live-spiritually-awakened-without-desires-full-of-love/

You did not get what enlightenment is, only on a perspective of the mind. Enlightenment is a reconsolidation of the body/mind, everything, you come out as a totally changed human being. It has nothing to do with the things that one realized what truth is or not, is beyond all that. Literally, one is born again, as if one has been in a wheelchair and now walks. Compared to a dormant state, an awakened human being will be able to do supernatural things in the eyes of the dormant, even physical strength is increased greatly, everything in that sense.

You are walking through a door to higher levels of spirituality. For me, ceratain realizations were really uncomfortable and at times I felt like I was going to spiral into an abyss. Yet it is also is very liberating. I would pursue learning about free will from awakened beings such as Rupert Spira, Adyashanti, Eckart Tolle and Lisa Cairns. They have plenty of videos on guiding people through this realization. I would avoid lower level philosophy that leads to nihilism. You are just waking up to a truth. For me, waking up to this truth stirred up a lot of anxiety. I was afraid that if I wasn’t really in control, all hell could break loose. Then I realized that it’s been this way my whole life and I’ve been been fine. No worries. Just keep advancing upwards. You will eventually realize you were drinking gutter water in your delusional state. Life will become more free and beautiful than you can imagine.

Total relaxation and you will be able to last for hours. To do that, the woman has to be on top and doing the movements for that hardcore lasting. One has to know how to control and how to use Kundalini to be able to last more than an hour. Basically is reaching a multiorgasm level/mode with the woman and recycle her energy through the man's Kundalini. Only after, in stages, the man lowers a little bit Kundalini pointed in her and switch btw orange and red as the heat build up or. This can be done with an awakened man. For the woman is not a requirement to be awakened, she already knows how to automatically do this unconsciously. So one has to know how to use the chakras for this, otherwise is just a 5min and go to sleep hahaha.

@Charlotte If we say that to be awakened is to realize how life is game, you can still take part in the game whilst being detached from the consequences. activism is just another part of the game, right?

Feeling the love inside when hugging a human being, that warmth, in actuality is because of the sexual energy folks. Tantra is not intercourse, Tantra in the very awakened state in human beings. Yes, it can be focused on an organ, that's a different story, you do that with the partner.

Quick question: When I put my hand in my back. Even if I just feel the hand (not thinking about it), I am still imagining it right ? I mean, you sense perceptions in your back, but you don't know if it's a hand, that's only being projected automatically from my mind right ? Gonna go deeper anyway, but I thought I could ask you super awakened heroes ?

I'm slowly starting to trust people, I'm starting to open up more and become more of my authentic self. I'm starting to feel more confident and comfortable with my voice and feeling more comfortable around people. On Saturday, I went out to Trilogy for Manifestation Dance which turned out to be a great experience of exploring body's movement on a micro dose of mushrooms 0.1g. Tapping into powerful king-warrior voice On my way there in the car, since it took about 40 minutes to get there, I was experimenting with my voice and humming, at one point I started to tap into that "boss" state that I keep experiencing on Ayahuasca when I feel like my true self, I feel the King's energy coursing through my entire body and become the force of nature. At that moment I started talking in Russian: "когда я пью айяаску я чувствую в себе настоящюю, Русскую, богатырскую силу! Я ощущаю себя настоящим мужиком, я настоящий мужик! Я русский богатырь!" This was screamed out with a lot of passion and the kind of voice that I've only experienced on psychedelics, I tapped into that state and confidence without taking anything. There was a lot of fury pouring out of me and I felt awesome expressing it with this powerful king-warrior confidence, I also said: "Я хочу жить, я буду жить! Меня заебало! Я хочу жить!" This was said with similar passion but also sadness as tears poured out of my eyes. I realized I'm able to tap into that authentic, passionate place within me that is longing to be alive and live to the fullest, that is longing to express my awesome unique talents, that is longing to tell the world my story and show people that transformation is possible, that it's entirely up to us to transform ourselves and it's okay to be ourselves, live our dreams and become our full potential as humans. I also felt like English language has kept me locked up and unable to express my authentic voice because of it's weakness compared to Russian, Russian language is just so much more powerful, rich and expressive and I feel like I never truly became comfortable with English. At some point I thought I needed to speak just Russian for a while and create some YouTube videos expressing these ideas in Russian which could also help my parents with some of their problems. I came to the conclusion that I actually need to practice both, but start warming up with Russian because that's how I tap into that authentic place longing to be expressed and then transition into English while on the same Russian style wave length. Exploring new depth of dance and movement There were glimpses of fear of where this journey is leading me to as usual, but not much as I didn't let the mind wonder and just concentrated on movement and enjoying listening to the music and watching other people dance around me. I really liked experimenting with all kinds of dynamic body movement and learned some moves that I haven't tried before, I was able to tune myself in to the rhythm of almost every song and come up with a unique dance style to match it. I could feel myself resisting certain kinds of songs, but decided to work through that resistance anyway to see what would come out of it, and then was able to create new style of dances as I worked through that initial reluctance and resistance. This tells me there are old patterns of moving and behaving that I'm clinging to, so by working through that initial resistance and trying new moves to the songs that I initially don't like is a great way to explore creativity and new depths of body movement and style. I was really into it most of the time there which was about an hour and a half and felt like I'm finally starting to become that person I keep seeing on psychedelics but in a gradual, gentle way that works for me. I think taking micro doses and going out to events like that is perfect for integrating high dose experiences and empower myself so I can gradually start trusting people. Talking to women authentic style I also talked to an Asian girl who was pretty locked up and shy and was pretty hard to read with her monotonous voice and stiff body language, though I persisted talking to her and was still able to have a decent conversation with her, she told me she wants to share a poem at a open mic talk at Trilogy next weekend. Then I talked to another woman who was really sweet and playful and kept touching me as I expressed my playful and expressive side and made her laugh a few times. She kept on grabbing and groping my arm and I really liked that, she was easy to talk to and very expressive, I think I should have kissed her in the elevator, though I wasn't so much attracted to her. She invited me to come dance at a north county dance studio around here in Encinitas and told me there are "Church dances" every Sunday from 11am to 1pm, so I wanna check those out soon. We also did "chakra cleansing" and came together by touching each other's hands making the infinity sign and creating an intention to send out in the Universe, there was a sense of trust, connection and unity during that time and the whole experience of dancing with other people in non-egoic way, exploring body movement, talking to women with my new confident voice and body language, being touched by women and enjoy myself by laughing and expressing my authentic self, combined with a micro dose of mushrooms, really gave me a glimpse of life's beauty and what I can become if I keep exploring these creative abilities and continue to work on spirituality, things seem to be coming together for me finally. We parted ways with this other girl who kept touching me and I criticized myself for not getting her number, but thought it was okay because I'll still see her at a Sunday dance anyway. Talking to parents about love and their relationship Holy shit! I talked to my parents about unconditional love and told them very emotionally with tears that it would make me very happy if they fixed their relationship and started cultivating love towards each other again! I realized just how difficult it was for me to tell them that, I was very emotional with tears and sobbing while I told them just those few words, but I felt like I had real impact on them and that they're actually going to listen. I warmed them up by talking about spirituality and Leo's videos over the last several weeks that I started seeing them again and it seems that my dad is especially interested in this stuff now. So I gradually lead them, without even knowing about it myself to this very conversation. Before telling them that, I was talking about Leo's recent video on "What is Love?" and told them that learning how to love should be a priority for people and that love is the most powerful force in the Universe and that it's unconditional. Prior to this conversation, my parents were very nasty and cruel to each other, I could feel the hate energy between them from their body language and how they pissed each other off in every moment they interacted, it became very difficult to witness that and I started thinking about why I even started seeing them again. I then remembered that I wanted to practice unconditional love around their suffering and accept whatever is going on between them but not meddle with their relationship. I did have an emotional impact on me anyway though, and I thought that maybe I'm not ready to practice unconditional love for them in that way and I think this is the moment where the Warrior in me awakened and was able to finally openly tell them: "Mom, dad, there is something I want to tell you" at which point I became very emotional, "it would make me very happy if you could fix your relationship", this was so difficult to do and I'm so proud of myself for being able to tell them that. They became emotional too and teared up, and we all came together in a hug, feeling like we are becoming a family again after a long break up. Of course, I realize this isn't going to be easy for them, but I think they will actually try because it was related to them in such a powerful way. This made me feel like I've grown so much as a person and reinforced the wisdom of: "by healing yourself you heal others". Sound bath healing with Cloud People After visiting my parents I went to a sound bath healing which was my first such experience. I could immediately sense the kindness from these people, especially the Cloud People brothers. I have this extra sensory intuition about people when I first meet them and can immediately tell if they are kind and loving or egoic and arrogant etc. The sound bath experience was awesome, I took a micro dose of 0.1g just before coming there, they used all kinds of exotic instruments - cosmic drum, ocean drum, flute, and many others which made me go on a trip. I started having the usual theme run through me: "like this whole thing has been designed on purpose for my awakening, here we go the Kundalini energy is going to rise and I'm going to have to go through ego death, because I'm God and the only one here in the entire Universe, all the events are leading to this place, there is no escaping". I just observed all of that and let it go and was able to work through these fears as my consciousness expanded, I was able to work through it in a very much gentle and gradual way, slowly peeling off the layers and going deeper. The women's singing voice was angelic and it felt like the Goddess herself was singing to me and nurturing my inner child who very much needs this motherly, loving, nurturing and caring energy because of all the terror I have put this little child through. It triggered some emotions with me and there were tears coming out on multiple ocassions during this experience. We were then invited to share about our experiences, I could feel anxiety and tension well up inside of my body as usual at the sound of these words, but it wasn't at all as intense as it used to be, and I only felt mild nervousness. So I decided to share after some people already shared their experiences and told them how I felt the motherly, caring and gentle energy and how my inner child was longing for it after very intense experiences with Ayahuasca and multiple male shamans bombarding me with icaros while I was having an ego death. I was then approached by two women who turned out to be the mother of the cloud people and a sister, they were the most loving and kind women that I have met on this entire journey, the mom asked me if she could give me a hug and all three of us had the most loving, genuine hug that I have experienced in a long time. There was love emanating from our hearts for each other and we became enveloped in this cloud of love, I could immediately feel my body tension and fears melt away, I could feel trust in love and unity and humanity, I could feel trust on where this journey is leading me to -- more love and unity and authentic connection with real, loving human beings. We then had a heart felt conversation about this journey and I told them how I developed trust on this journey by contemplating love and unity and just what those words mean. I told them about my Spain travel experience while living in Russia and how I felt separated from the world while I was in Spain, and upon returning back to Russia immediately felt like I was home again, I felt reunited with the world and I felt safe and loved. I also told this story to my parents and I told them that since leaving Russia at the age of 14 I have been looking for that place of home, to be reunited and how this journey is leading me back to this place of wholeness, unity and love. This experience and conversation with these women reignited trust in humanity, love, unity and journey in me, I have almost lost that trust because I have ran into a lot of nasty, egoic, arrogant, low consciousness people on this journey who considered themselves authority, though I always intuitively knew these people were just bullshiting themselves and I can spot that kind of bullshit from far away. These women had powerful impact on me and I'm now confident this journey is leading me to the right place, the experiences I'm having by micro dosing, going out and exploring my creativity, authenticity and relating to people is turning out to be the most profound, most powerful way to take this spiritual development to the next level, things are finally starting to come together in this beautiful way, I'm pushing the boundaries and working through resistance, I'm working through fear, I'm cultivating love and trust in people and myself and I'm becoming more confident in the process, I'm regaining my personal power and I'm becoming more loving. I also talked to a woman who was singing with the angelic voice about voice lessons, because the host of the house told me she worked with her to develop her authentic voice and she seemed to be a perfect match for my current situation of wanting to express and train my powerful, authentic voice, she also told me about retreats and accountability partners which is another way to connect with like minded, conscious people, so I think I'm going to take lessons with her. After leaving the sound healing place, I sat in my car and thought: "this is too good to be true. The kind of life that I'm about to have is just too good to be true…."

Apparently, you are directing the Kundalini energy directly into the head. It is fatal! Watch out! In the long run, you cripple yourself. Kundalini has to be directed once burned with water into the Akasha, only then the Heart will know how to open the head with the sling. One more thing to point it out: What you doing right now are the first stages of awakening, it's called egoic enlightenment. You see many gurus or spiritual teachers with the forehead on up and down with the eyebrows and specifically in the position of lifted eyebrows or the opposite most of the time. What I mean is they have literally marks on the forehead with lines from the too much stretching or frowning. Usually, this type of people went too much into crippling themselves decades on this pathway (butt/head). The sad part is that many believe this is IT and is not. One can see the truth of reality like this but limited. This type of people has very heavy visuals on drugs, etc. This state or technique is to force the 6th sense, but without the consciousness on the other 5 chakras in sync is just an intermediate state between dormant and awakened. Best of luck!