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I'd like to give interpretation on one verse in Quran, forgive me my grammatical mistakes. Human is reflection inside the mirror of someone who stands in front of the mirror. Human is bound to repeat every action after the original one. Of course, he is reflection, and reflection reflects. And human naturally wants to become the one who is in front of the mirror. Human wants to lose heaviness of being a reflection, and just to be the original one, and not a reflection. He wants to simply be... Because the original one is pure being and it is so easy. And for some its even more than that, it is blissful, it is satchitananda. It is joy and love and goodness. Human then calls his reflection nature as ego, illusion, avidiya, ignorance. He spends years to dissolve it, and to become nothingness. What can he do, all gurus he saw taught exactly same thing. But who is that one (the original one) who stands in front of the mirror and sees its own reflection in the mirror? That original one is what people on this forum call God. Echart Tolle calls him God. Mooji calls him God. Rupert Spira and Adyashanti calls him God's Infinite Being. That's why they keep saying that God = you, reality = God, Being = God. But then prophets come and give us text, and then we know - this original one in front of the mirror - it is God of this world, God of this reality, King of this world, or Devil, Iblis. It is The Great Being. It is also an archetype of all worlds. All worlds are reflections of this one original archetype. Also: Ishvara, Shiva, 'Father', Apollos (in arabic - Iblis), Ahura-Mazda, God of light and beauty. And we are his reflections. Our task, prophets say, is not to become him, and not to dissolve our egos in him, but we are ought to emancipate consciousness from him, from Being. We are to oppose him. Because the true God is not him and we receive text about who is that true God. We receive method to emancipate consciousness. This task exists not for us, but we exist for that task. Solving that task will define the meaning of existence. Wait a moment, how can good-love-bliss-truth be the Devil? I don't get it. Good question. The thing is that, God intentionally created reality upon the error. It is made so as a test for people. So people will fix it. The core of the error is good and evil. Verse says: Maybe you love something but in fact it is evil for you, and maybe you hate something but in fact it is good for you. Or in other words, what you think is evil - that is good, and what you think is good - that is evil. What seems like good in this reality, and what you naturally love - this is evil. And what seems like bad and what you naturally hate - this is good. Let's stop on first part - the Good declared as Evil - it is knowledge about that one in front of the mirror - he presents himself as Goodness and Love. But in fact it is Devil. Apollo in Greek tradition is God of Love, Beauty, Harmony, Light. And also he presents himself as Consciousness. But in fact he is not Consciousness. Consciousness exists only as opposition to Being, as a contrast to Being, but not as part of Being, not as equal to Being. Only as opposition and not in oneness, and not in just being. Witness is not is-ness, Witness is separate and opposite to is-ness. Is-ness by its very nature is pointing that it is not witness. Witness cannot be what is witnessed. But this Devil tricks people and presents Consciousness as his own nature by saying some illogical thing like witnessed = what is witnessed. That's not an illusion, its not an illusion that it seems like they are same thing, but it is the result of the fact that Consciousness is suppressed by Being. And, returning to what is previously said, we are to emancipate Consciousness from Being. We receive method, the scripture is that instruction. One of the instructions is: To put names of Allah, the one who is absent, the one who we call Huwa (Kul-huwa-Allahu-ahad), HE, or absent one, to put his names in the focus and centre of our spiritual attention. Graceful, Merciful, Giving, Forcing, Almighty etc. We are interested in putting these names in the centre and in focus of our spiritual attention. To be able to do that, to perform that - leads to emancipation of consciousness. It leads to immediate and to correct awakening, or providential awakening. Its just one of the methods. So this -TRUTH-CONSCIOUSNESS-LOVE - or absolute infinity, or infinite goodness-love, is false orientation, false value and false 'God', an idol. Thats why the witness of faith is la ilaha illallah (there are no gods except Allah) - Except and besides the one whose name is Allah who is radically Separate from reality, Opposite to Infinity, Opposite to Absolute Everything-ness, and radically Transcendent and yet is active here and now through his absence, besides him there is no other immanent Gods. It is denial of idea that any immanent gods including The Great Being are Gods, they are denied as orientation and value. This one, this infinity, or this thing in front of the mirror, or this pure being, or this love, light, truth - is denied. Instead of that, there is Allah as your orientation. And we can know about him and 'get towards' him only through what prophet's scripture revealed (Muhammadar rasulullah). Besides that we don't have tools. Because when we use our natural tools, we almost always reach The Great Being and then call him God and then we try to dissolve into him. Without abrahamic and only abrahamic holy scripture as a method, we fall for idols. Real idol is not statue or image, real idol is that infinite which presents itself as infinitely good Being. But in reality it is just the big candy who said in Quran: 'I will come to them from right,left,back,front and will surely mislead all of them from your path, except thy righteous slaves'. Btw, that's one of the reasons why Moses-Pharaoh collision is so often given in Quran - Pharaoh declared: I am God (things didn't change ever since then as we can see), while his Egyptian priests based their metaphysics around pantheism/nonduality, oneness of Being where Being = God. They were enlightened. And Pharaoh too. And the whole tyrannical Egyptian pyramidal order had roots in their nondual metaphysics. Paradoxically, the metaphysics of 'infinite goodness of the great being' led to tyrannical order, enlightened avant garde created tyranny. Then Moses was sent by true God, he was sent to destroy this pantheistic ideology and political tyranny. But I think the main problem here is this: all or many gurus are advocating for so-called 'positive experience'. They say: to experience, to be spontaneous etc. is positive thing and our main goal in spirituality is experience, and this experience is to be positive. Look, you breath, you walk, you love, you have highs and lows, it is positive. They advocate for positive experiential nature of reality. Because for them, Reality = God. And people fall for that idea of good, they try to find spiritual state where experience will be positive. But la ilaha illallah is advocating the opposite - you should know that there is no positive experience in the field of immanent, even though it feels positive but its not positive from the perspective of Consciousness. You should know that reality is not God. That doesn't put God somewhere away, we wilfully put him in the centre of our attention (through his names) even though he is absent.

@Kshantivadin primarily because it is suffering that at all allows you to know there is bliss. You would not know the primacy of bliss without it’s opposite, it would be near impossible. So suffering and pain is your opportunity to cultivate within it and transmute it into its counter part, which is bliss. Much like consciousness is made known through becoming separated through the duality of self, bliss is known through being dichotomously contrasted by suffering.

Hi guys, so basically Im searching for some advice on this forum, especially I want to know what Leo thinks should be the best way for me. So heres my situation: Im currently 23 years old, and Im really realizing that nothing in this material world makes me really happy nor will it ever in the future. Things like food, sex, relationships, money, success, socializing, working a job etc. nothing of this gives me happiness( a few years ago I thought they would, but I grew and developed myself and realized that I really dont need them for my happiness). Of course having some good friends or eating some good food can be a enjoyable, but it doesnt really make me happy. I really could live without all of these things. So I really got interested in finding a way out of all of this and I stumbled upon spirituality, awakening etc. and got interested in pursuing it (havent done any spiritual practice so far). On the other hand to be honest, I really dont care that much about questioning reality and contemplating things like reality, time, reason, consciousness, god, truth etc. I am not that much intereseted in metaphysical questions, so contemplation as a spiritual practice would not work for me. I really just want to find a way out of this "rat race" and want to experience bliss, joy etc. Its not that Im totally not interested in metaphysical questions, I am to some degree, but it is really not that much, that I could sit down and contemplate the nature of reality for the next hour. Maybe if I start the pursuit of awakening, the curiousity and desire for these questions will come? I dont know. So is it possible to get awakened if you are not interested in these questions, but just want to find a antoher a way out? Thanks guys, appreciate all of your answers.

So this morning I had some kind of sleep paralysis experience. I woke up very early for some reason and decided to do some body awareness exercises and relaxing my body to maybe fall back asleep. When I finally started falling asleep again, I suddenly found myself stuck in some state between sleep and wakefulness. I was filled with absolute terror as I heard someone moving around in my room. I was absolutely convinced that some man was in my room and he was just about to kill me. I couldn't really move my body and I felt the man walking behind my back in my room. This felt like absolute true reality, not at all like a dream. As I was being filled with this powerful fear of death I remembered some of the advice I had been given in regards to psychedelic trips and Leo's videos on Death. I just said "fuck it" and decided to compeltely let go and dive in to the terror and let the man kill me. I just trusted what I had learned about death and what happened was truly magical.. Immediately after giving up the struggle, I was filled with this powerful sense of bliss. It was similiar to the the deepest peace I have ever experienced through meditation. Everything kind of dissolved into this white light of pure being and all of the fear immediately vanished. In an instant, I was no longer afraid, everything was perfect and at peace. After this I quickly woke up to my everyday consciousness. This experience gave me a powerful insight into death and I realized these nondual teachers are right. There's nothing to fear except fear itself. Once we give in to the fear, no matter how terrifying it is, we will be released from all the suffering and it will lose all of its power. "This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed." — Terence McKenna

Hi danilofaria, Please bear with me, I have a lot to say on this topic of having children. First of all, I always wanted kids as a young child and later a young woman but I was aware that I was pretty fucked up in a lot of ways and I blamed my parents for that as well as my own selfishness and helplessness in the face of a lot of self-destructive things that I wanted to do. I was unrelenting in my accusations to my parents of their having taken easy ways out and selling themselves out for material things and on and on. And the truth is that I have not actually met any parents that did more, gave more, achieved more, or were just great parents than mine. So I was setting the bar pretty high for myself cause I knew that the day would come when my own kids would confront me with my bullshit and blame me for their miseries. So first and foremost it became very important to cut out my bullshit. And I couldn't. Next came the issue of a father to my hypothetical kids. Being a woman with authority issues, how ever was I to find a partner that wasn't going to pull the control shit that many men think that they have to pull? Granted, there are blessed souls out there that are actualized and aren't controlling. I just had never met one. So my solution was to "seek lower companions", guys that were pretty much more fucked up than me. On top of that, I didn't trust men who hadn't stepped out of the box AND I didn't trust men who had. At least the "Bad Boys" were fun and weren't on my case with disapproval and control. I was really conscious that finances and kids are major factors in breaking up relationships. A good rule of thumb that I thought of was that a person should be able to support themself and one other before they have a child. Shit happens in life and most marriages break up. All the sad stories about the long-suffering single mothers, the custody battles, the child support. What a nightmare to be shackled to a man for the rest of my youth, that I once thought I loved, until my child could support himself/herself. In my thirties, I finally put a lot of the bullshit aside and became a primary school teacher. It immediately was apparent that the kids with a fighting chance of progressing in academic learning were the ones who had someone at home that was ACTUALLY DOING THEIR HOMEWORK WITH THEM. And I am not talking about, 'kid at the table while Mom is cooking dinner or doing laundry, or bathing another kid, or, or, or....' And homework just keeps getting harder and harder. By 5th grade, kids are getting several hours of homework now. As a teacher, I hated assigning homework because I knew the havoc that it was causing in many of the homes. "Do you God Damned Homework! "I can't!" "What do you mean you CAN'T? Aren't you paying attention in class?" "But she didn't explain it!" "Well then ASK her!" "I did but I still didn't understand!" In some homes, this battle goes on every night FOR YEARS. People in nuclear families begin to HATE each other due to homework wars. I have LOTS more reasons NOT to have children. But let's say a couple genuinely love one another and can demonstrate it on a daily basis so their kids know what love is. Let's say the reason that they decide to have kids to love the kids, not to be loved by the kids. Let's say they are well on the road to actualization and have developed themselves enough to be able to use their talents to do satisfying and profitable work and are generally happy within themselves. Hard times are coming. I wouldn't want to raise cannon fodder. Nor would I want to raise a hero or a martyr. I am still too bloody selfish to risk that kind of pain. The loss is that I don't get to experience that unconditional love that I would feel from and for another human being. I'm struggling enough with whether or not I am coming back to help out cause I know I'm God and that I will have a choice. I'm not real happy about that either though. I was really hoping that enlightenment was going to fix this BLEEDING compassion of mine. I'm still hoping that I won't be bleeding with it all the time. That's how I personally will know I'm thinking. Bliss and bleeding may both start with bl but I'm thinking that the blood has to go yet and still! "God forgive them, they know not what they do!' He wasn't talking about the nails and the cross. He was talking about IT ALL. Love and forgiveness is the context. It's the fucking painful content that one can do a bit better overall with, while remembering the context. Am I my brother's keeper? I mean, AM I MY BROTHER'S KEEPER? So how much pain can you handle? How much love do you manifest? How much money do you have? How happy are you? How well can you guide without controlling? How open can you keep your hand? How open can you keep your heart? I used to say that I'd have grandkids if I could skip the mother part. In a least expected way, something like that occurred but even then, to be able to pursue my path, I have left those kiddos in California and am gradually shifting my world to Kalamata, Greece. Come visit me sometime. This is my land of miracles. rebasin3@gmail.com

I could try it with desires to meet people. Haven't thought of that. Didn't do a tingling, but orgasmic bliss, and I feel it about 6/10 intensity, along with a much more dense psychic pressure behind the bliss. Another guy said it helped with his concussion about 95% after 2 minutes. I have gotten good feedback from many people in a Facebook group I'm in. Like one lady in Australia who stressed out about the bushfires finding relief through bliss. I have used to to feel nostalgia and even sadness, since emotions are energy. I still have to find the balance of Intensity to use with desired outcome. Too strong and it can bottleneck.

Maybe we are not all on the same page here. if you are talking about reading a book, a video, or learning on a forum about the self or the ego being a fiction and then believing it -then that's one thing. But the problem is that when you do that you are taking it on as a belief. That is a trap one can fall in and thus never discover Truth directly. Truth is known not by knowing but in Being or isness. Of course one is being/issing right now. You are Truth right now. Truth is THIS - BUT...and this is a huge but, (no pun intended) unless one has had a non-dual state (samadhi) in which they became conscious of that, then for them to say it would still be a belief. And they run the risk of self deception in which the ego is telling them there is no ego so that it keeps the ego from killing itself. Its a survival mechanism of the ego. So we are talking about transcending or getting underneath knowing and knowledge. This requires mystical states of consciousness. Death. A state of Samadhi. Non-dual states of consciousness in which the illusory self falls away and there is only the Absolute. It is only in this state of consciousnes that consciousness becomes conscious of its true nature. It is pure actuality laid bare. Now as far as getting back to the practicing question - when i first discovered spirituality i began self inquiry meditation and it was during that meditation that i reached states of samadhi. The first mystical state happened within a few days of switching between self inquiry and no mind meditation. During this time frame i experienced multiple non-dual states both during meditation and either just sitting in a chair afterwards or waking up from sleep, or just resting in bed. So i have had states of samadhi both during meditation and spontaneously (they happened in the first month of starting self inquiry.) I then integrated back into the ego/form (but now knowing that the form was actually the formless appearing as form). I then experienced a second set of non-dual states i believe it was a month or so after that - again some both spontaneously and some while meditating. These were even more powerful. I feel these completed my awakening. That's not to say that i will never die again / reach a mystical state but at this point, I'm there. So at present i do not feel the need to do any practices but at the same time i still enjoy sitting in silence and meditating - but just to be at this point. The reason i am saying all of this is because yes - it is possible to have spontaneous states of samadhi after just reading or learning about spirituality but i think that doing practices such as self inquiry can help induce non-dual states of consciousness as they seemingly did for me. If one is super gifted though, it could happen without any practices. For the average person though, i don't feel it works as simply as that. I feel that these tools can really help trigger mystical states. It's just tricky and paradoxical (of course) because i was not seeking anything when i did them. I honestly had no idea what i was getting into. I was an atheist and a rationalist/materialist my whole life. So I think if one tries too hard or they are not ready for Truth to reveal itself it will not happen. Yet if they are ready, the slightest trigger could potentially open the door to hitting a non-dual state..but that is just my take. As i have stated on this forum before i cannot speak directly on pyschedelics because i did not use them. But it does sound like they can be a tool if one is ready for Truth. As far as the realizations during these states, i can say from direct experience that becoming conscious that the self is an illusion is just one realization. During my states of samadhi i have had one where i have become directly conscious of the nature of reality instantaneously, what my truest nature is (awareness itself) and that there is no self. I have also had the realization of Oneness in which i became conscious that all perspectives were Me as God/Infinity. All realizations came with TOTAL and i mean TOTAL bliss that words cannot explain. To describe what the states themselves felt like words cannot do. But pure divinity is a good start. Death is bliss. I am interested in knowing your path to your state or states of samadhi? Did the falling away of the self happen for you spontaneously and what was it like? For me as i said it was death. The ego was completely killed off (no sex drive, absolutely no desires for anything, and just pure bliss. As form returned it followed with some ego backlash (the Oneness especially was tough to swallow) and the integration between duality and non-duality. This is how it must be. Now, you have said in the past that you had spent a lot of hours on spirituality - did you do self inquiry?

Sometimes when i sit down and observe i feel like an npc player acting out tasks , ive watched many shows to realize that this reality is too perfect to be real i mean everything is just too convinent . Hungry ? Just eat . Thirsty just drink want to go somewhere use your legs. You get my point sometimes it feels like all of this is almost like a program like if there was an ultimate reality it wouldnt be this pretty or accomodate for us. It almost like we are experincing an illusion while our real selves are either outside of this reality in bliss or complete beingness . This "reality " that they live in is nothing like ours its something thats completly un undetstable to the human "mind". Imagining the notion that we arent real and just mere npcs is threatening scary to a normal person which is an expected reaction an npc , only the brave ones pursue whats beyond. Everyones path is predermined so is everything else in life sometimes iam able to see invetiable changes that will happen to me . Human evolution is invetiable you can distrupt the flow , you can throw off the flow by hundred years but its invetiable. Even the creation of actualized.org was predermined including all its haters and followers its the flow . People delude themselves thinking they are in control of their fate how do you know your fate ? You dont . You just try to your best at whatever you are doing because you never know . Everyone moves at their own pace , everyone is where they need to be at the moment . Im a writer i like telling stories ive always wanted to create a storie that included everything , everything piece i created i was unsatsifed but what i didnt realize that i aready created my best masterpiece

He emenates bliss. You'll notice when the mind is still enough.

Hi, I wrote this free online program that repeats an intention you have 10,000X per second in computer memory. It's like repeating the intention yourself, but much faster and more powerful. Since all is connected, what happens in computer memory happens to the Universe. I've used intentions such as: I AM One with God. Or: I feel ineffable, orgasmic bliss. Or: My chakras are clear and balanced. Or if you feel anxious, something like: I feel calm and confident. I look forward to your feedback. A lady who was stressed out about the Australian bushfires used it to feel bliss to help get her through the day. https://www.intentionrepeater.com/ Feel free to share with anyone you feel could use it. Also, I am looking to make this open source, so if you know how to do that, I would be grateful.

Thoughts have a great momentum. Just because you have thoughts does not mean you are failing your practice. The same for negative emotions. Just because you are having negative emotions also does not mean you are failing your practice. Awareness means to be with whatever is. It doesn't need to be pleasant, it doesn't mean you'll immediately have a silent mind. It doesn't mean any of that. It simply means that you look at whatever is occuring in the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, comfortable or uncomfortable, wanted or unwanted, and you stay with that. True meditation and mindfulness is not about trying to feel or be a particular way, but it is about being with whatever happens to be the case. The distance that you create by doing so, is the reward of your practice. And that reward may not (at least initially) even be experienced as happiness or peace or bliss or whatever, but just as a lack of identification with thoughts and feelings and therefore taking a step back from being in suffering. Don't worry about having a lot of thoughts. Only if you become really advanced will you start noticing that you will barely have any thoughts anymore. But there is no reason to fear or oppose your thoughts. Just let them do their thing, but don't identify yourself with it. The practice is done NOW. Whenever you find yourself worrying about whether you're present enough or not, is the moment you get identified and have lost the path. The moment you're worrying about being present is exactly the moment you have lost presence. However, the moment you become aware that this is happening, is the exact moment when you're back on track. So the only power you truly have is the way you can relate with yourself, right here, right now. There is no other time to be able to do that, because future or past do not exist as an experiential reality as such. Read "the power of now" by Eckhart Tolle if you haven't already.

When I started experiencing bliss states out on runs by fields of flowers, the only expression that came to mind was "FUCK!" over and over. You bewilder us with your grace. All evils transform into goodness. You are the master alchemist. You light the fire of love in earth and sky in heart and soul of every being. Through your love existence and nonexistence merge. All opposites unite. All that is profane becomes sacred again. -Rumi

@tsuki When I wrote the first journal I made here, I made so many assumptions about the part you took in it. The law of attraction explained why, at first it wasn't an assumption, it was a complete and total knowing of an aspect, or a blindness to everything that didn't matter from the perspective of Source. You helped me to focus, and it grew bigger and bigger until it took over. I saw through the veil, I was seeing the glimpses into how perfectly planned my past was, how perfectly it had been designed (or creatively written) to lead me to that very moment. Remember the book theme? When it ended I was back to my human perspective and even though the feeling of bliss stuck around and my reality was shattered, coming back from that state was an awkward transition because my normal thought patterns were left to make sense of it and they made a lot of assumptions without discerning. It's just like now, I can see flaws in my upbringing, I can see flaws in people and situations but I've had this experience of complete and total altered perception, and I know that I am creating the flaws through the filter of mind, and I know through focus they will cease to exist in my experience, and that my focus and experience is the creation of my reality itself. When I was writing the journal I assumed that your state of mind the entire time was the same as mine throughout and that's why everything that has happened since has been such a mind fuck. One assumption I made is that you had already had and fully understood the exact experience I was having then. I know now that neither of the realities I experience can be assumed. I am left without ground, trying to navigate a world where I must make and be ready to throw away assumptions. By the way, I'm sorry about all the assumptions and misunderstandings. Anyway, that's why it's very interesting to me that you are reading this particular book and starting with the Old Testament God the Father. Just remember who (you) wrote it and that the book is not the book. Selfish is a good thing, at least it is when it's focused and without its assumptions about others.

Why does the mood change after enhanced enlightenment? Because you are back at where you started, just screaming Oh My God in your mind. Have you noticed that your value system is changing with Actualization? So thats what will happen again, but very radically. ENLIGHTENMENT IS RADICAL. If you are caring about your mood dude... I have no words for such sloppyness.. You said: "I honestly would prefer to be a ignorant and having the bliss that Leo had in his beginnings" There is a great cost to spirituality, but Leo mentioned this a lot of times already now, so you should become aware. Ignorance and Bliss are nice for the moment but not sustainable, and if you are a true seeker, you cant stop but find. From your comment, I dont think you are, so dont worry about not being ignorant anymore

Today I watched one of my fave videos of Actualized, the one where Leo goes on a solo meditational retreat in the forest of Arizona. He appears with goods and food packed in his car before starting his new adventure. But there's one thing that catched my attention: Leo looks one of the most optimistic and happy person in the world. He looks so excited about his trip and his eyes are full of JOY. It contrasts with the post psychedellic era, where he started to wear the white shirt and full beard. After the mythical video where he became God, and the absolute infinity, he started to look sad, kinda burned out. Maybe something happened in the other side, or maybe he catched a parasite entity in the other dimension like newage woos theorise. Or maybe is the post enlightenment dowfall. What i feel that after the DMT era the "gap" between the master and the subscriber has become too big. Back in time Leo used a language and explained things the way he reassured that his public would understand everything. Today (maybe due excess of people asking him questions) his answers are like: This would take you years of practise and intricate self-inquiry to understand that (spiritual ego dismissed the questioner,its not worth to spend effort to explain things to plebs). Whats left is accept without questioning his dogmas about his new topics about politics, religion, epistemolgy, and trust Leo blindly (faith)because we cannot understand his meta stuff. Very cult-like attitude. This lack of effort to translate his spiritual epiphanies and finding about the nature of reality in "words" and he resolving the problem by saying: "This cannot be explained by language and concepts" has costed him lot of misinterpretations and critiques in internet. At least he could have tried to create metaphores like christians did to make some acute minds grasp the message behind, or conceptualize in the form of rules like the hermetic principles, or describes visually like the movie Dr Strange. The misinterpretation of Leo's revelations to plain people calling him solipsist, taking out of contexts bits of his videos, all come down due the main problem.. The GAP If I try hard to understand Leos viewpoint I can. It would take time, but I can. He cannot say: you dont exist, everything is mind... out of context. It need to be shown the contects the viewpoint, the paradigms... The correct way is to explain, contextualize, put the viewer in your viewpoint: You dont exist the way that society told you, you are not a physical body, you are not a ego, but the things is deeper because I start from the premise that everything is imaginated by a mind. Also i thing that nothing exist, all its hallucinated by a great mind. Viewer: ah I start to grasp your point, thanks for the explanation dude! Back to the topic, I dont want Leo explain us why his happy mood has changed during his spiritual path, because its his personal life. But Id like to know if this is gonna happen to us if we dive deeper to the rabbit hole. Is there a kind of toll or cost we must pay to devote out time to spiritual practise? I honestly would prefer to be a ignorant and having the bliss that Leo had in his beginnings. His positive attitude was contagious.

I've struggled with my fair share of addiction over time, maybe I can be of use. What Leo said in the video is that all addiction is ultimately caused by a lack of emotional maturity- in other words, the inability to sit by yourself, in a room, and not have neurotic compulsions. Neuroses is in essence the inability to let something go. I've found that to be true in my personal experience. The other thing which I noticed was that I simultaneously held 2 conflicting beliefs in my mind. The first belief was that I wanted to stop my compulsion. The other belief was that I found immense pleasure in my compulsion and that I wanted to do it. Can you see why that might cause problems? As long as you are attached to the desire to indulge in your compulsion- you will continue to be an addict. Notice what I said there. I didn't say, "as long as you have the desire to indulge in your compulsion- you will continue to be an addict." I said "As long as you are attached to the desire to indulge in your compulsion- you will continue to be an addict." This is a critical distinction. Our thoughts only have as much power over us as we allow them to. What you feed grows and what you starve dies. What I would recommend to you my friend is that you take up a daily meditation habit- one to two hours in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. If you want maximum results you will go into a state of meditation immediately upon waking- before checking your phone, before eating breakfast, maybe after taking a piss. And you will meditate yourself to sleep in the evenings. This will do wonders for rewiring the neurons in your brain. You don't have to do that. Then again if you don't it's likely going to be much more difficult to break your addiction. As for the specific meditation you should partake in? Let me leave you a quick description of one that might be of use- luckily for you I just typed this out for another member of the forum on direct message a couple of hours ago. Make sure you are in an environment conducive to what you want to achieve. Turn the lights off, lay in bed, and play some light music. If you are doing this first thing in the morning- a seated meditation is ideal so you don't fall back asleep. Here is a link to the playlist which I created for my personal meditation sessions- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjckAW85ACTUqMtt_chUf-ksdiT1VoyP_ - I'd recommend clicking on the video titled "The new butterfly effect," that is a very peaceful tune as are the videos next up, but experiment with what speaks to you. Definitely do one of the either 417hz, 432hz, or 528hz. Butterfly is 432hz. If you are living in a shared environment, use headphones, otherwise, play the music softly. If you are having serious trouble completing this meditation, put on a pair of headphones and utilize the first video in the playlist, a theta binural beats session. Trust yourself. Stay on each part of this meditation until you feel it is proper to move on to the next part. Take your time. This is all for you. Begin by relaxing your body. Take deep breaths, in for 5 seconds, out for 5 seconds. Move your awareness to your toes, and relax them. Move your awareness the soles of your feet, and relax them. Do this for each individual part of your body, releasing all tension, all the way to the scalp. Next, move your awareness to your heart center, and start to visualize a ball of energy, it can be any color you like, spinning in a circle counterclockwise. The longer your awareness is on this ball of energy the larger it grows, until it eventually surrounds your body, and then fills the entire room. Take your time with this. Feel the gratitude provided to you from your generous heart. Realize that it wants nothing more than to see you in a state of love. As you maintain your awareness on the energy around your heart center, release any attachment you hold to your thoughts- good, bad, these are all simply labels we create in our minds. Accept, and love every thought which passes through your mind, and do so from a state of total detachment from them, without judgement. If you catch yourself getting carried away by a thought, that's okay, just bring your awareness back to your breath, to your heart, to the present moment. Now you are in the operating system of your brain- the subconscious mind. Your analytical mind should be powerless- it truly only has the power parallel to the level of attachment you hold. While keeping your awareness in the space around your heart center, cultivate gratitude. What are you grateful for? You are alive. You are breathing. Look at the beautiful mechanism by which all of this is happening. Truly you need no reason to feel gratitude. Reason is a limitation provided to you by your ego. You can simply choose to feel gratitude. Set the intention. Notice the difference between desire and intention. Feel the desire to move your arm up. Now actually move your arm up. Notice that difference? The second one was intention. Become familiar with this energy and that is what you will use to cultivate the emotions you seek. From gratitude set the clear intention to cultivate love and appreciation. From love and appreciation cultivate joy and bliss. From joy and bliss cultivate freedom and the feeling of being unlimited. Notice how I do not say try to do these things. Just do them. They exist within you right now. The next thing that you're going to do is bless your energy centers, starting with the root chakra. As you're doing this, maintain the elevated emotions you just cultivated. What emotion is your choice. Bliss, freedom, infinity, gratitude, appreciation, joy, all good choices. Begin by placing your awareness, your focus, inside of your perineum, and hold it there for as long as you please, whatever feels proper to you. Next, you will move your awareness to the space around the perineum, and, same as before, hold it there as long as you please. Both pieces of this meditation, the internal focus on the energy center and then the focus on the space around it, are essential, as is the elevated emotion. Once you have finished with your root chakra, repeat that same process for the space right below and behind your bellybutton. From there, repeat the process for the space in the pit of your gut. From there, to inside your chest, behind the center of the breastbone. Next, to the center of the throat. Next, to the space between your throat and the back of your head, inside your head of course. From there, to the space in the center of your head. And finally, to the space approximately 16 inches above your head. Now, maintain that practice for as long as you'd like. The longer you are cultivating these elevated emotions the better. Once you feel grounded in these emotions, I want you to do a breathing technique that will work wonders in tandem with that portion of the meditation, and this breath is something you can truly do any time you feel energy getting locked in the lower energy centers, and it will elevate your state of being. Your breath should still be very relaxed. To perform this breathing technique, begin by ensuring you're in a position where your spine is straight, as it most likely already is. Begin to take a long, deep breath in through your nose, to the base of your spine. When you feel your breath apply pressure to the pelvic floor, contract your perineum- maintain the contraction and inhalation. Follow your breath, and when it fills your lower abdomen, begin to contract that as well. Same thing for your upper abdomen. Now, you should have the area of your body from your perineum to upper abdomen contracted. Inhale as full as you can while maintaining those contractions, and move your awareness to the very top of your head. Hold your breath for as long as comfortable, while maintaining your contractions and awareness of the head. As you exhale, release the contractions. You can perform that breath as many times as you'd like, it should assist with the meditation session. Now, simply meditate. Remain detached from your thoughts. Maintain elevated emotions. Do this for as long as you please. The longer you do it the more grounded you will make this state of being throughout the rest of the day, especially if you begin your day with this meditation. My friend, you have the power to win this battle. But it will not be a battle won in arms or in strength- it will be a battle of peace. A test of your ability to remain calm in the face of adversity. To simply say- "you know what, I don't even have to entertain that thought!" Remain detached. You got this. I'd also recommend Leo's videos on how to overcome a victim's mentality, it could be very beneficial. Godspeed My friend, medicine and meditation are not mutually exclusive domains. Medical professionals have a multitude of flaws in their own right. And "New Age" ahhahahaahha I wish I had the laughing emoji This stuff has been taught for multiple millennia It is you who knows not of what they speak of May you find peace

The ego loves to take credit. I can look back on the portion of my journey when I first started having mystical experiences and awakenings. Many were sporadic, and inevitably the feeling was temporary. I remember experiencing bouts of depression and suffering where all I wanted to do was get back to that state of bliss. The only problem? The ego can't induce those experiences! I thought I had it all figured out- "OK, I did it once, I can do it again!" No... Because you didn't do it! The ego loves to take credit.

Its been over a month after the awaking, the extremely high level of consciousness has died down a little, but it is by choice. When you are truly free to be whatever you want, everyone has a different response. Some want to permanently stay in god consciousness, or be in a high state of being/bliss at all times. Some want to become aware of more things and deepen their understanding of god/infinite love. Some start to teach others and become a guru or sage. And everyone's path is so brilliantly unique and divinely chosen. There are infinite things to be aware of and awaken to. For me, I just want to live and be, and love. The ego or sense of separation can come back, but it doesn't matter because it is all love. It is like before awakening, you were a radio without the control over its frequency, but after awakening, you can tune the frequency to whatever you want. The whole radio becomes somewhat irrelevant because you are all the frequencies. However, suffering is still gone. Not in the sense that I can't feel pain or get hurt. But in the sense that I am the pain and the hurt. You can still experience suffering, but when you do, you are experiencing it in the perspective of infinite love, so you accept it, and thank it, and love it. Being separated is also infinite love; it is all part of the plan to maximize love. I can change my state of being at any time, but it doesn't really matter. You can experience being the ego and god at the same time, they are one. I just live with the flow of life and do whatever my intuition/infinite love tells me, and enjoy the experience of existence. The void of infinite love is always present in the background of your awareness. Feel it now, be it. I love you all.

@Gneh Onebar haha I know what you mean, but even 2-3 years was like hell to me, also didn’t help I had a B12 deficiency through part of it which added to the depression ? Youll eventually drop all the minds stories, along with the I-thought, which is at the centre of the entanglement of the mind. And, then, when you realize there’s no mind, thoughts and emotions and sensations will happen, but not to anyone as such, just in THIS, I mean it’ll feel like it’s happening to someone, but when you investigate the centre of these thoughts and emotions all that is there is Natural Pure Awareness. And, as you accept everything that arises, thoughts or emotions are no longer a problem to you, just clouds in the beautiful Sky of awareness, and guess what? Since all is The Absolute, thoughts and emotions are part of that too? @VeganAwake Exactly, no I-thought left, just THIS as it is, in all of its glory and perfection. Ignorance is bliss as a seeker, but I wouldn’t trade this in for the world if it meant going back to the old way of being Pre-Awakening, nothing can beat the spontaneous joy of being.

I will teach you how to enjoy The ways I employ: Remove you and me, That should come first, And then secondly How quenching your thirst No longer concerns you, Statement of bliss! No nothing quite so impressive as this, Then it is simple, Here's how it goes, The third part which everyone knows: Love, love, love, love, love, love ...

The big Cosmic joke is, when you reach LOC 1000 there won't even be a you left to enjoy it....lol Yay welcome to enlightenment.. are you sure...are you really sure...is this the mission you signed up for. If it happens it happens otherwise ignorance is bliss enjoy it while you have it..?

@VeganAwake you completely missed my points, Desire will continue. are you telling me you no longer have any desire in life? without it you’d be dead and if you use spirituality as a reason to not workout, eat healthy, improve your finances, develop your career etc then that that merely seems like a form of spiritual bypassing. i never once said something NEEDS to be done or be different, everything is perfect as it is. Yet, if you’re overweight, on a RELATIVE level yes you should probably go workout and eat healthier, just because you have now awakened does not change that. This is nothing to do with doing this stuff = happiness, as you said when you realise Non Duality = Duality, and the distinction is shattered you are free to play the game how you like. If you don’t want to do any of these things, nobody is saying you have to, you can just coast through life, have a simple existence and be happy, again like I said this is very dependent on the person and their personality/ enneagram type. Maybe you’re a 9, if you just want to rest in bliss/ peace forever, that is fine you do you. However, just because someone is active in the world, does not for one second mean they suddenly aren’t awakened. Rupert Spira often talked about the inner and outer understanding. Inner is pretty self explanatory, but outer is bringing your understanding of The Self into all realms of life, such as work, sex, etc. It does not mean you’re doing these things to BECOME happy, you’re simply doing them as you WANT to and for the fun of it, to EXPRESs happiness so to speak, do you get the difference? desire also evolves as I pointed out in the last post, im Not gonna go over it again. You can’t and never will stop desire, otherwise you will die, if you have zero desires you would never feed yourself, drink, go to work, meditate, do literally anything, there is a common misunderstanding of desire in spiritual communities, a lot relating back to the Buddha being falsely translated. Please don’t try and remove desire from your life, it is beautiful to express desire that comes from love and The Self, and is beautiful to experience life in all its forms. Not everything that isn’t watching Non duality videos, meditating or talking about Awakening is Ego, it’s okay to do other things, when you go full circle you realize spontaneous joy of ordinary life is absolutely beautiful.

Actually, if you believed that the suffering is imaginary, it would stop being real. Not only that, you can turn things upside down. You can believe that the suffering is a good thing, and that it will pay off in the future, and it will certainly become as you imagined. You will literally turn the suffering into bliss. You just need to truly believe. Belief is a shortcut for consciousness. That's how powerful imagination is. Imagination is a superpower. God creates through imagination.

A couple of months ago I thought about making this Journal a part of my last Will and testament. That's on the condition that I keep making a Journal entries for a good while and Actualized.org stays online in the future. A link to my Journal won't amount to very much if the electrical grids around the world collapse in the next 50 years along with a large percentage of the human population. I would rather not be on this planet if that were to happen. No electricity would leave the world full of hungry, starving, and desperate people. A recipe for violence. I had typed the above into my browser last night but didn't enter it into my journal Been reading a little more in Jana Dixon's Biology of Kundalini today. Kundalini follows its own course through the body that is specific to each person, but it is definitely not a linear path "up" the body. Except during the conjunction experiences when enormous energy pours upwards through the body with the force of a concord. Since my awakenings I am adverse to saying that the lower plexuses (charkas) or centers open prior to the higher. In my experience they all open simultaneous to varying degrees. And since the linear body is all holographically represented in the brain, and it's activity in the brain that is expressed at various regions of the body, it is hard to say what is top and what is tail. Thus kundalini moving "upwards" is a misnoma--it doesn't start out at the base of the spine and eventually "reach the brain." It is happening in the brain from the start. Even the activation of the root chakra, and the tingling in the left foot is occurring in the brain. The brain is a hologram of the body and the body is represented holographically in the brain. The body and brain are nottwo. Whatever is going on in the body is simultaneously represented in the brain and vice versa. Kundalini cycles round and round, up and down, down and up and basically all over the chakra map. For example in childhood sexual development, there probably has to be a certain level of development of the prefrontal lobes before the genitals become energetically activated. The higher in-forms the lower. So say you want to work on opening your sex center, well you don't do this directly, you work on the solar plexus-(power) and heart-(love) centers. And if you want to evolve sex even further you work on the throat-(honesty), third eye-(psychic) and crown-(integrated whole) centers. Similarly if you want to open up the crown you need to simultaneously work on freeing the pelvis. There are the fundamentals and the panultimates but it's all basically just one flow of energy. Kink the hose at any point and you interrupt the flow to all parts. We cannot divide and distinguish the difference in bodymind, subtle and causal effects because they are part of the same thing. However there are grosser autonomic body reactions such as panic states, grounding, heart expansions, heat, tingles etc...and then there are the subjective experiences such as illumination, devotion, insight, telepathy, precognition, visions, profound dreams, eurekas etc.. There are lower periods say during a die-off where voices may occur without higher-spiritual content (hallucination), and other periods where the energy is cycling much higher in which the voices have something profound to say (illumination). Kundalini flows in different episodes; sometimes panic will force exercise and breathing, sometimes bliss and grounding will force lying down. If we understand the forces at play with the various autonomic (sympathetic/parasympathetic) responses we are not confused, resistant or fearful over what is happening. With an informed perspective we know beforehand that if we are down, we are going to go up, and if we are up we are going to go down. We know how to work-with the on/off switches, to not to suppress either, but to raise the energy of each into a healthy conscious embrace of whatever is happening now. The Perspective of Whole-Seeing--The key to mastery of kundalini is that when the bliss is acute it is imperative to draw energy up the spine or otherwise we find ourselves trying to run from it and push it away. If we wimp out and try to resist the bliss and energy rather than embrace it, then this will lead to inevitable compulsivity, addiction and regression. The radical amplification of normal sensory and emotional perception and of consciousness itself will inevitably draw us into fixation with whatever part of the hyperbolic curve of experience we might be on at the time. However there is a vantage point from which Whole-Seeing is made possible. From the Mind's Eye we can view the changing phenomena of kundalini without being carried away by it. The Mind's Eye is the connective current between the brainstem and the third eye. We obtain the seat of the Mind's Eye by the felt-sense of pulling energy up the body and into this inner connection in the head. This along with deep breathing, helps to keep our experience of kundalini conscious rather than being seduced by its ecstatic fires into a narcotic sleep. I also must relate the importance of the solar plexus in keeping the balance between the two sides of the nervous system. We can prevent morbid overextension of both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems by conscious breathing into the largest plexus of the body--the solar plexus. If we find ourselves in either a high or a slump, then long walks while focusing on solar plexus breathing will help to integrate and balance the energy. This continues to be important for years after an awakening as an aid to integration and establishment of the spiritual will. Otherwise we may go through the entire ordeal of an awakening for no benefit to ourselves or others and actually be worse off than we were before. The Solar Plexus responds instantaneously to the brain. Every minute contraction and expansion of the solar-center of Life is in obedience to the brain. The Solar Plexus lies exactly behind the pit of the stomach. It may be energized by practicing a "drawing in" of the abdominal muscles. Draw the abdominal muscles "inward and upward" several times at each exercise. The closest parallel in normal human experience to mystic ecstasy of kundalini activation is sex sensations. One could look at the spiral of the growth in consciousness in terms of sex energy and its use, and see the pathological, conservative, post conservative and enlightened uses of sex energy. The body is a template of our conscious-proactive-love-Self-expansion VS. our unconscious-reactive-fear-Narcissus-contraction. Looking at the body we can see where we are at in our relationship to Self and our relationship to the world, for the body doesn’t lie. From: http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php@story=DownisUp.html

@actualizing25 Many start at that place of wanting out. Eternal bliss and all that. That has to be dropped as all other delusions.