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@Leo Gura I am interested in what is the difference between, every part of the awakening I have experienced and God. I felt the nothingness, the all-aloneness, the absence of an external reality, life being a dream, but it was more like being trapped into it and not creating it. The absence of love might have played a role into this, but I doubt that being trapped in all what I have listed with or without love would give me the impression of God creating it. I also experience infinite consciousness once in a while. It is not possible to communicate it, and I wasn't fully into it either, but I am somehow not able to make the link between infinite consciousness while meditating and what is supposed to be God experiencing itself. Or maybe there is just not more to it, and if I had known what mystics called god back then, I would have called that God? Might just be a word thing though. I am definitely missing something for "GOD" (love for sure), and I am sure there are other things to experience.

@Nahm @Peter124Realized... I can't effing lose! I cheated and fixed the universe when making it all so that it GUARINTEES that awakening will happen no matter what. Then it returns and becomes Maya and becomes egoic only to apply pressure on it self to evolve into greater consciousness. As we evolve in awareness GOD IS GROWING AND MAYA IS BEING REVEALED AS MAYA. To preserve and defeat Maya. We are in a time of celebration because the worse things seem the more God consciousness is exploding and merging with human form. Possibly God is the union of form and naked emptiness or incorporeality expressed as self or pure consciousness. The conscious intellect of God becoming from invisible to a complete perfect merge with form only to completely destroy everything and start all over with a new beginning to a new spiral starting from the vantage point of emptiness. And I made it like this be cause I'm a gamer and so why play only once and make it perfectly fair balanced and winnable. However unlike... (I'm internally screaming rn) most videogames, Every time you restart it's never the same and yet it seems so familiar and the differences are subtle but RAGE INDUCING! Or causes sadness as a struggle to figure out so god is going what we are going through every single version of the Universe Simulators. Also the laws of thermodynamics and our universe of form is finite therefore a closed system. It is all going to be destroyed soon enough. The entire universe. Yet I because I'm God. No not me as flesh and blood or a symbol ideology but as God God. Invisable incorporeal in of and out of and separate and all and none as well as holiness nakedness nothingness purity and absolute love power consciousness wisdom beauty awesomeness and wholeness holy is God. Also most of the old testament writings of God reflects this as I as past forms awakened to God consciousness and wrote it in Psalms and songs.

@StripedGiraffe Ego death and nothingness doesn't end consciousness or awareness. This sounds like you had a glimpse at the nothingness. However I it literally feels like dying... nothingness doesn't mean there is no awareness or consciousness, you might be referring to the state of neither perception or non-perception. Infinity, time standing still, no-thing-ness, reality being an illusion, the self being an illusion, other people being just like me: "meat robots without a self", no difference between a dream and the waking state, Seeing things as they are, time not existing, realisation that nothing outside of my awareness exists, seeing reality without filter is what I experienced by dying (sober). It also felt like I changed perspective, from the one of an ant to a giant, everything was HUUUGE. Not disproportionate, everything was the same, but just the perspective of it changed. The infinity always came first, I would love to say that. You seem to be pretty okay with it and not terrified of it. The most painful experience I had with the ego death was the realisation, that I am all alone. That's the fucking worst existential fucking pain I could experience. I was told that this pain was the pain that led God felt as he divided himself. I am telling you this, because sober this was a hard pill to swallow, so don't freak out once you experience this after dying.

I've transitioned to a new phase or mental state which is radically different to the past. Its affected my career and relationships and basically everything. It started after realising that there is no substance or meaning within the words we use on a daily basis, and materialist paradigm. I feel like a whole new world has opened up to me. When someone tells me a statement or some concept, I can instantly realize that its got absolutely no substance, and its just void. I'm barely interested in concepts, or reading, or intellectual knowledge now. If you tell me for example that smoke causes higher co2 emissions, I can instantly realize that this statement is completely untrue because if you contemplate what smoke, cause and co2 is, its just void. Nothingness and just appearance. And this is everything. Its one big seem/appearance. I cannot take any conversation serious now, because I know this person is talking about Nothing, but doesn't get it, he/she thinks he's/she's talking about something of substance, rather than Nothing. This has led to a lot of positive things. But I'm finding it challenging with my career. I use to care about solving problems and making a better place, because I believed in those problems actually existing, but now I'm aware that those problems don't have substance, and are just appearances. And we are all pretending these problems are real when they aren't. This has changed my orientation and perspective as an engineer/inventor. Instead of having an agenda to manipulate the world (solve a problem), I now have a desire to understand reality more metaphysically. I'm super curious about the world, now that I realize I got everything completely wrong. I want to metaphysically explore and relearn everything. This has shook my whole life purpose plan (developed in the life purpose course) because I now do not have a desire to be anyone, but who I wanted to be is simply Nothing. No matter how I explain it. Helping the world is less about (for me now) solving their problems, but expression God's beauty and love. Its about creating for the sake of creating, and BEING apart of the beautiful creation that I am now rediscovering and admiring. This is such a different mindset, and I don't know how to make money from this POV. Its very easy to make money from the problem solution mindset, but how do you make money expression creation beautifully? I feel like the carpet has been ripped from underneath me massively. How do I now make money? What do I do now? Still be an engineer? What girlfriend do I get? I feel like I'm incapable of surviving in such a mindset. I don't know how to make money. This is the biggest thing I'm suffering. Surviving in this mindset. And the intellect just does not work here. So I can't even think about how to solve it, only observe metaphysically. Any insight on coping with this would be appreciated, thanks!

@Adodd When someone says to detox the pineal gland. They mean to open it. We can assume that they are referring to spiritual awakening and the third eye. The pineal gland organ is mainly responsible for regulating sleep. So, logically speaking if your sleep is being regulated, your pineal gland is functional and doesn't need detoxification. Opening the pineal gland/third eye is a metaphor refering to an increase in conciousness where you are able to perceive Nothingness.

@Ero I persist and seemingly contradict your points of views simply because I know I went through the same phase of evolution that I recognize you to be in. I'm offering an opportunity for you to expand your views and understandings. Just as you are by sharing with me what you've realized. From my pov; you're the ones who are stuck and unwilling to move along. You are simply too afraid of embracing anything that's not "the absolute truth". Not realizing that everything is the truth. No matter how you slice it. I embrace my standpoint by sharing my views with confidence. I also embrace my human nature. I do not hide behind or hover above. Exactly that is what's the next step you are avoiding. That's what one does once God is realized. It does not stop anything. The circle never ends. @Codrina Thank you. Only nothing knows about nothingness ? @Anna1 I ask you not to believe me or adopt my views. I'm just explaining why I wrote what I wrote. And I respectfully disagree with what you wrote. I think that's not a crime.

I think that I have understood a lot of what Leo talks about. I think that I understand absolute infinity and that I am God, that life is a dream created from nothingness, etc. I have been on this path for years now including 50+ psychedelic experiences and multiple 10 day meditation courses. But I still feel tired and frustrated with my life on the relative level. I have had periods of time in which everything feels magical and the whole world is incredible as I see beauty in seemingly the most mundane of things. However, I still don't want to deal with life. It feels like a huge burden to live in this modern society. I can't find a job that does not feel mundane and pointless. I can see the joy in social interaction related to the job. But the job itself feels like part of a pointless and harmful system. I want to die. I don't want to deal with this. I'd just rather not. I'd rather not have to contribute to this toxic society we live in. I have very few people that I can deeply relate to. Most people are completely sucked into the system and don't really think for themselves and so I find it hard to connect. I feel the pressure to get a university degree, get a "real" job, and start a family. But why? Society overall seems to be very harmful. It seems like only a minority truly benefit and even then they seem to be in poor mental health. My instinct/intuition has remained mostly the same for most of my life. That is to move out deep into the forest in a remote location and live off of the land in a somewhat peaceful manner. Is this my life purpose? It does not seem to directly help others. In fact, it seems to harm my family and friends who I abandon. It genuinely feels like the right thing to do though. Learn the necessary skills to hunt, forage, and generally survive. My energy will be put into direct usage for my own survival needs. It will become work or die. Is this naive? Ordinary life makes me want to kill myself. I wonder if I am still lacking metaphysical/ontological understanding of reality and that if I obtained this understanding I could act in the world without this depressive tone. Please let me know if you think I have posted in the wrong part of this forum; this feels like a serious emotional problem to me. I feel empty and depressed, even with my seemingly high level of consciousness.

Yeah, i'll try, not sure If I would be able to write anything....ha.. Yesterday, 6AM, at a friends house, after a long night of alcohol and weed I decided to hit the changa pipe. Just one normal toke. Sounds very irresponsible and it probably was, still I felt the effects of all the other stuff were fading to acceptable degrees. The remaining alcohol gave also gave me some balls, which I didn't have previously. The smell of DMT alone reminds me of Absolute Death. Not sure how much was in the pipe, we have a good trust with my friend, so I told him not to put too much. It probably wasn't, I am just very intolerant to it. So I'll try to explain. Laid back on a couch, while my friend was holding the pipe and steaming the changa. Phase one: Took all the air out of my lungs and after a minute of that, started pulling that huge toke. The intent was, get filled and hold it as much as you can. So I did that. Phase two: The glass pipe becomes 4k, having tints of blue and orange at some places. Its very still, as if everything came to a halt, I was still pulling. Phase three: I started to lose the grip over the body, not sure If i released that toke, because my will was trying to get a hold of the concept of holding/releasing and lost it on the way, so I have no clue for how long I held that breath. Meanwhile the body felt like it was dissolving from the torso region outwards towards the extremities of the body. All of this was happening as I was aggressively falling backwards, in a wavy or even swirly motion away from a clipping plane that had a closing hole in the middle (it didn't feel like a deep portal, just a plane), the plane was becoming whiter and had blueish flower patterns emerging on-top of it, as the intensity was growing so did the visibility. Regardless of the falling feeling, it felt like this plane was constrained to me, as if it were falling along with me. Nevertheless, I got the message, time to say good-bye to all of this, you are done, this is how it ends, accept!, but i want to get a hold of this leg a bit, accept!, but.but..... accept!. As this swirly failing thing was happening I was actually kicking around on the couch like a baby, as someone who had no control over the dynamics and weight of things. My friend said that he has never seen anyone react like this to dmt. I knew I was kicking , but no clue why, it's like that wavy falling did something to my legs. It didn't feel like fighting . Phase four: After that panicky falling eased up, it didn't feel like I traveled somewhere, it felt like I fell from 1 meter height and and I am into this not really new place. It wasn't even a place, it was bizarre nothing. Mostly the room, which was blured/muddy at most places, friends were missing, the one that held the pipe was at more places at the same time and was stretched in a harmonica like motion, most things were 2D planes inside a 3D space, that didnt felt even feel like space, objects were missing, some were replaced with, 2d planes of yellow, dark green and dark red colors. If you want to call these even visuals, I would call them extremely stupid stupid and bizarre visuals. My eyes were open all the time, I didn't know this, didn't know I had eyes, was biped ect.. I sat up, but I didn't know I did it. I just willed my ..camera...to move to a different place in this mess and so it did. I tried to will other parts of this space to do things, so they did, It turns out that the ones reacted to this will were my hands, and I was touching my teeth and face. Some of the objects were exactly the same, but all the memories that defined the way they would be perceived were gone. So they were weird things in ....space, ones that I was trying to separate from others by attempting to understand them and find the ways in which they were different, so I can at least orient myself. It is than that it clicked to me....oh, this is how i created myself, its the attempt of nothingness to see itself ,it created otherness and it will do this forever... it wants to see things and in order to see a thing,there has to be something it is not. This ever-present tense feeling was all around, the feeling of - its alright, chill, everything is fine, its fine of anything to be as it is. This fucked up mess that you see is fine no matter how fucked up it looks to you and both you and it are loved. It did feel like love, but it wasn't anything near joy, it was intense and harsh. Phase five: DMT started to exit the system, I was still not sure where in the room was I positioned or if I was talking or thinking, touched myself all the time to make sure that I am here. Even the word "here" can get quite bizarre. Stuff started come together, it was wavy, irrie and vibrating. I was coming .... home. When I got back I was amazed of how the things I see around are so ...beaten,chewed,morphed,beaten... in order for them to conform to the human perception, but still, they have never lost their beauty, no matter how limited this type of perceiving makes them look. It was a healing experience in an unknown way and I did come out with answers of how perception works and how this whole thing..... came to be..... It may be chaotic and I do not know if you would be able to take anything out of it. But here it is. Wow this turned out long, thought I was going to write 5 rows haha.

@Barna Alright. But why even point out something is imaginary? That's simply the nature of reality. It's innate. What do you have to compare imagination to? What do you have to compare Light to? Or consciousness? There is nothing aside from it. So it seems rather pointless to even point that out, imo. What's your argument about, really? I'm not sure if I get it. Is it about exposing "the highest truth" ? Eliminating all else that is not pure nothingness and eternal silence? If so, then there's not much to say about that, is there? I am clearly taking into consideration everything here. The whole mountain - not just the top of it. I do not care about what's illusory and what not. Precisely because I've seen through it and it does not bother me at all anymore. Illusion, if there is any is beautiful and it should be exactly as it is. Learning how to master reality is something totally different. It has nothing to do with finding out what's true or untrue, real or imaginary. At that point everything is recognized as Truth. Everything is a flawless expression of Truth. So why try so hard to eliminate anything? Why not feel into what's actually going on, regardless of all conceptualization? And what's going on is constant shifting and frequency alteration. Does not get any "realer" than that. Source is energy.

Yes empty nothingness Pure actual Love. Real as it real gets. Nothing nihilistic or neutral or bad. For you to avoid ? traps. Your desk is made of it your body is made of it your computer is made of it etc and that Love is You. (helping them helping myself, beating my ego up I guess)

My attention always seems to automatically drift to my breath after i'v stabalised it on nothingness/emptiness/"true self"/choiceless awareness during my self-inquiry practice. I'll focus on my self & get that unique/weird self-inquiry-ey feeling u get when u flip awareness back on itself, but then once im sitting there in that thoughtless/concentrated state my attention always seems to just drift back to my breath. I'm still holding my attention on awareness itself/emptiness & getting that self-inquiry-ey feeling, but its as if, within/during that state of concentration, a part of my attention automatically drifts to the breath. This always happens anytime i practice self-inquiry, choiceless awareness, thoughtlessness or 1-pointed concentration on an object in my visual field. It feels like once i bring my attention to my object of meditation & it settles comfortably on it then it has nothing else to do & nowhere to go so it just drifts to my breath seemingly all by itself. Then it's as if my attention/awareness is split between the chosen object of mediation & then also my breath. Is this a bad thing? Have I gone astray? Should i be trying to ignore the breath somehow? Any advice on stopping this from happening if it's a bad thing? Thanks.

@Mongu9719 The difference of no self vs ego self is detachment. Everything is the same except you see things as they are. Reality feels like a dream. I have seen the infinity and nothingness, but not God, so I cannot tell you my perspective on that. Infinity can be really painful. It is what killed my ego. What's the difference between you sober and you high? amplify that by a 20 000, there is no difference except perception.

@Johnny5 Because he is not disproving their arguments by giving only orange arguments, but by showing that he can emphasize their points of view and showing them how they think, and what is wrong, and how you can argue the opposite with the same kind of reasoning. That's not orange that's Yellow. Its insane how good he is at it... @Roy Psychedelics don't make yellow people more yellow was my point. But open the doors to turquoise right... Without radical open mindedness, psychedelics don't change anything. I have been lucky to be open minded enough to question Orange as a 16 year old boy, when I was in the dark night of the soul. That jumps directly to turquoise if you are open minded. There is no ego death -- nothingness -- infinity that leads to planting trees, socialism and social justice. It goes straight up to turquoise questioning reality. Believe me. Yes you are right. I have made up my mind before posting this thread, but I already changed my mind. Went from 100% to 75%. I just watched more interviews being sceptical it tends even more to yellow in my opinion. If he talks 90% moralistic and rational and 10% systematic ethic philosophical problem solving doesn't mean he is more orange than yellow, just that he emphasizes more on Orange as a means to an end. Yellow is his strategy and orange is his marketing. Green people don't care about how to solve a problem that doesn't seem to be a problem in their opinion. He is not criticising because of his arrogance, but as a means to an end. Imagine you had to convince a blind person that his lightbulb at home wasn't working and he didn't believe you. Changing the lightbulb would take 5 seconds. But explaining the problem, for instance that his dog cannot see anything (lets take a funny example hehe), he would need to make him switch the light on, let him feel the broken lightbulb with his hands, until the blind guy realises that the lightbulb doesn't produce heat. This would take more than 90% of his time. That doesn't make him an electrician. Then he can convince him to change the lightbulb. However you need experience with lightbulbs to know that they heat up after a few minutes, so by being an experienced electrician he can put himself in the position of a blind guy and show him that it doesn't heat. So that he can convince the owner to replace the lightbulb. That's what he does with green people. Watch his "interviews"/"debates" that guy is never wrong. He went through every possibility and comes up with perfect responses in an instant. That's why I would love to see him talk to turquoise enlightened gurus.

@Preety_India So sadhgurus business is also orange? Sadhguru claims his business is only there to fullfill its job (selling YOGA) His statements are not turquoise. Most gurus don't use turquoise statements. Turquoise statements are for example "everything is a hallucination", "The self is God", "existence is nothingness" Leo Gura uses turquoise statements in his videos about enlightenment. "life is a dream", "The self is an illusion" etc. He is making money from his products fine, Yes that's orange from a simplistic perspective. But that just proves that money corrupts his yellow teachings. Dalai Lama is fully enlightened and still has a fortune of 140 million dollars. I am not saying he is turquoise but YELLOW. Yellow doesn't mean philanthropist or Humble.

@TDW1995 Was your social anxiety there before Meditation? Because Meditation increases your Awareness of your Body and emotions. For example you realise how much you sweat you blush etc. And being aware of that is a vicious circle of fear realising that you have fear increases your fear which fuels adrenaline which fuels fear. Enlightenment cures your social anxiety, but its like building a nuclear bomb to solve a rat infestation problem in a house. You can do it, but maybe it would be smarter to work on your social anxiety to make your life easier first? Enlightenment is not an escape. If shoots everything up until you surrender to it. If you want to do both, I recommend Shadow work, shadow work helps with social anxiety and it is absolutely necessary for enlightenment. Also, there is nothing wrong with social anxiety therapy or even psychiatric help like medication. If you force awakenings, your fear of people will be replaced by the fear of the nothingness. (Dark night of the soul) It is like quitting smoking by replacing it with heroin. It will work instantly, but the fear of the nothingness is so bad, that you forget about social anxiety. Been there done that. So I recommend: Shadow work, psychiatric help. You can take pills that take away your social anxiety instantly. Don't just take pills, but do the psychological work too. Combining both gives the best results. If you continue meditation, this will increase your growth drastically, your psychiatrist wont believe it. Meditation on Infinity take all your fears away for a while too. It worked for me, but its not the best/fastest way for social anxiety.

I know this isn't anything new but I wanted to share anyways. I was laying on my couch feeling so free, so light, so wonderful, so at peace...I questioned where did this feeling come from or what caused it. Then the word EMPTY popped into my mind....I felt Empty. But not the bad or lacking Empty that most would typically associate Empty with. This is like an Empty Fullness, a Pregnant Nothingness, an Everything and Nothing Emptiness. It's not having any belief systems, attachments or idea's of the way anything should be.... it's the Wayless Way...or No Way. I realized, I don't believe in anything except BEING. And anything and everything is welcomed in BEING. I would describe it as in natural surrender to what being reveals. ❤

Good luck man after like 50 minutes my hands and arms started curling inwards like a fetus... it was really trippy and totally relaxing... felt like I was floating in nothingness. Yeah focusing on the breathing is good advice ?

@Johnny5 I think you are hinting at nothingness

I chose this quote because at that time I was continuously looking forward to the future. This quote reminded me to appreciate the present moment instead of fantasising about the future all the time. I wouldn't call it a belief, it's more like an observation. The future doesn't exist. Nobody has ever experienced the future. The only thing that we can experience is the present moment, the here and now. "Nothing happens next. This is it." for me this emphasizes that nothing is gonna be more important than the present moment. Right here, right now, Nothingness is existing and Existence is being nothing. What could be more extraordinary than this?

This afternoon i decided to do yoga at home. When i was in my 3rd exercise my ego disppeared and the only thing I could percieve was my body sensations, my hands and feet melting with the floor. Nobody was making yoga, for half a minute I was like in a movie/illusion thas was happening to nobody. Its like the unified field of conscousess that quantum physicist refer to is a big global movie with no main characters. Then ,after the experience, my ego started to dislike this illusory nature of reality, because in the movie he wasnt in control. And he started to wonder: "-What is behind the scenes, who is the director then? -Maybe a mind is imagining everything from nothingness? Leo droped some bombs of truth but never explained how it looks like to be behind the movie. -Definetly i need to try psychedellics sometimes to find it out! But now I work a lot and have no time."

In Buddhism there are the concepts of emptiness and impermanence. I haven't checked yet how accurate the translation of those terms are, but I can explain them with my model. My amateurish interpretation is that Nirvana is the unmanifested reality, which is infinite and changeless. Manifested reality is a finite subset of the unmanifested reality. So manifested reality is nothing, or nothingness, in itself. And manifested reality is an ever larger subset giving the appearance of change and impermanence. A subset is nothing (emptiness) without the superset. What ACIM calls God I have called infinite intelligence. And that infinite intelligence is a property of Nirvana, the unmanifested reality. And the Holy Spirit in ACIM is the Dharma in Buddhism. Dharma has many meanings but the main explanation for Buddhism in Wikipedia is: It sounds similar to how in Christianity the term Word of God can both mean the Bible and also the larger meaning given in John 1. And if Nirvana means the unmanifested reality, which is the same as the Word of God, and with Dharma as a different term, then the Holy Spirit can be equal to Dharma.

Hello guys, TLDR: Weed put me in the dark night of the soul (infinity, timelessness, nothing seems real (DR), dying sober, nothingness), and I am so terrified of uncontrolled changes in consciousness, that I am not able to take small doses of psychedelics/weed and anxious about Kundalini changes in perception too. How can you guys help me overcome this? I am somehow experiencing infinity since I am a child, maybe because of genetics. Mystics would say I was a mystic in previous lives. I don't know if it shows up once I am suffering, because I experience it during fever at night, and was somehow trapped in it as a child, even after waking up. My mother of course didn't understand what was bad about a random neutral dream with infinity. I am not conceptualising infinity, because I experienced it shortly before my Kundalini got activated this year during meditation. Without suffering this time for the first time. That's when I realised that its not the first time I experience infinity. When I was 16 (I am 21 now) I didn't feel that good because I felt the infinity and wanted to ground myself with a cigarette and decided to smoke a blunt (weed) instead. What followed was a panic attack with lots of weird energies in my Body, time standing still and this lasted for hours. The following 6 months was some Dark night horror. I was sober and died every day(evening). nothing felt real, and I believe the feeling of "I am nothing and people are just flesh-robots, there is no perceiver" is called the nothingness? That of course led to a existential crisis, and I am to this day trying to make sense out of it. The video "factettes of awakening" made me realise that I wasn't just wishfully trying to explain it as ego death, but it is actually more than one awakening at once. Weed alone didn't put me in there, so I don't think you guys should take weed and hope for formless things to come up. My best theory is that I felt the infinity before, and not having concentrations skills, the incredible fear gave me the focus necessary to concentrate. Now I can not take more than 3 puffs of weed because of the fear of the nothingness coming up, and wouldn't even imagine stronger psychedelics. I realised all the fears I had were based on the psychotic fears I developed from the "awakening". I was also really shaking and afraid the moment Kundalini started rising once I realised I couldn't control it. I am not afraid of the physical "pain" from Kundalini, but from the psychotic Dark Night shit that might come up. I tried to just smoke a little weed every day, like a few puffs, but I stopped once fear started to rise. Some medication that makes me high is also making me anxious. Benzos and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors don't though. I have to face my fear of the dark night and I believe that you guys can help me do it. If I don't face that fear other fears will come up and in the end I will still have to face it. Note that if I end up high and panic a little, this will be counter-productive and probably trigger my Kundalini. So facing the fear head on might not be the best idea, but would put me right back into the dark night of the soul until I entirely give up. I heard that most people don't have hallucinations from weed, but I do have visual and acoustic hallucinations from it. Long before the dark night. My stoner friends would just say: Man don't think about your psychosis and listen to some music, it s all in your head. I would be eternally grateful if someone could just write down that miracle solution I have been waiting for years. Keep in mind, I want to face that fear and not run away from it like I did the last few years. If it is possible without going through some infinite-timeless-nightmare that would be great.

Hello everyone, I have always noticed how everybody always do trip reports but I never see nobody talking about how radical and life changing are the experiences you get from what I call "conscious dreams", I want to share now one of my most curious dream trips. To be honest some time ago I couldn't even remember my dreams but since like nine months ago I have been going through a process of awakening that has changed everything and since this process began I notice how I remained more aware of the dream state of reality. In this particular occasion I did not plan it, it happened around 12:30 am before going to sleep I did my daily one hour meditation and then I see how consciousness shines as a sun as I began the sleeping process and fall sleep in that state but just contemplating its beauty at the moment I had no intention of going into dream land. There comes this moment in which I go into deep sleep for some time and then wake up in my apartment, everything looked pretty normal at this point, I think we were preparing something but I am not sure exactly what, since the beginning of it what we call "I' felt something was off and then I noticed a friend of mine that should not be in my house and at that moment I realized that I was dreaming once I became aware of that the dream starts to collapse I entered into sleep paralysis and for some moment I tried to like meditate (what I mean with meditation is to focus only in consciousness and not pay attention to the content) and I do that because the whole dream starts to fall apart and I go into sleep paralysis which has been troublesome in several experiences of this. I ended up going back into deep sleep state thanks to resting in meditation and instead of waking up to this dream in which I am writing this I woke up to another dream and I have forgotten once again that I am dreaming and everything is going quite normal but I remember that the visuals or the way that everything appeared looked with a different resolution and some things were quite different to this state of consciousness I'm in right now but at the time I did not remember the existence of this state of consciousness called "waking state" but then I remembered that I went to sleep in this dream and woke up living life in the other dream and I was fully aware of my consciousness during the dream and once again went into sleep paralysis but as always when the dream falls apart and this happens instead of forcing myself to wake up which i have done several times out of fear. What I have been doing lately is fall into relaxation and this time some times after meditating in my sleep paralysis state and I seemingly went back to deep sleep but at this time I wake up once again and this time I am floating in pure darkness literally I was floating in circles and it was endless totally dark and I became aware that if I wanted I could wake up right now but I decided to relax into the experience, it felt nice to be there, time is not something conceivable there but I still had memories of my life in the waking state so I would say I was like that for a while so going in circles floating into nothingness, then I began to do self inquiry in that state and saw how thoughts come by themselves ALWAYS there is no thinker then I start to relax myself into consciousness the presence that lights up worlds and once I do that I stopped going in circles and start to fall but very slow and then when I am letting go of everything surrendering into my most mysterious and infinite form I feel this hard vibration it felt like an earthquake it was fucking strong and then in the area of vision where only darkness was some small colorful geometrical patterns start to like rain into my perception and I started to feel very overwhelmed I was being confronted with my real from, the real form of I, the Glorious, Immortal, Infinite God that permeated the whole universe, I am very intense to feel, so I thought for a second that I wanted to stop and so it did and I came back to my bed. I came back feeling very relaxed, when you see the infinity your eyes are burnt you will never live the same world or be a "person" anymore, I felt grateful for the experience but shocked to see what I really am, it brings me to my knees to see my own nature. Hope you guys enjoy the reading, I would love to know what are your thoughts on this type of trips and if you have any questions on how to induce the state of consciousness or what have I done to do it, feel free to contact me.

@Inliytened1 Don't worry, I am only stopping the path once there is nothing left to question, and nothing left to experience. Fortunately Leo s Video on the factettes of enlightenment showed me that I could experience infinite love. Apparently this is actually beautiful and not as terrifying as the nothingness. But only out of curiosity: Can I now be arrogant around religious people and tell them that I saw that I am God? (Just kidding) I wouldn't call it Void, I prefer calling it the nothingness. Its not like empty space... Your green pseudo suggests that you probably know what I mean. What makes me question the fact that the nothingness is not God is because people who experience God, apparently don't say "Oh the nothingness" or "oh buddha nature" but God. Nothingness is what I would call it. Infinity is also not distinguishable. There is no other word for it. Believe me, my Ego is fighting with fear as its main weapon. Back then when I experienced the nothingness it had no other choice, like the one second that was needed, Infinity ripped apart my ego by trapping me in infinite timelessness until it gave up.

@Inliytened1 Okay, that answer convinces me. I heard Leo talk about God being so infinite that he can only experience himself by limiting himself into the forms. I already had ego death experiences. So that's it? God is what comes after ego death? The nothingness? Everything seems unreal and there only exists what is perceived in the moment? Nothing outside of perception exists. I called that the nothingness, because I realised there is nothing there (No "ME" in my brain as what I thought previously). No perceiver in people. Really terrifying. Just pure consciousness/perception and nothing else. I was okay with calling that the nothingness, but if people call that GOD, then it is kind of... weirdly disappointing. I heard about people post awakening being disappointed. I find it also hard to believe that the other formless thing I experiences was infinite consciousness, because that just overshadows everything during meditation, but there is no point in starting a religion from that realisation lol.