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The very essence of this pregnant nothingness is the essence of existence I'm sure of it...

I have been doing meditation on and off for a while but decided I wanted to delve deeper into it. So I got "mastering the core teachings of the buddha" by Daniel Ingram. He emphasizes a technique called noting in which you mentally note arising sensations. Multiple per second. He says every in breath we note "rising", every out breath "falling" and everything in between we note as fast as possible. He also gave an analogy about shooting aliens (which can be any sensation/object in awarness I guess) like in a videogame, but shooting them means noting them. It was very stressful when I tried it. I thought meditation is peaceful, which is why it confused me. Maybe this is the difference between concentration meditation and investigation meditation? I wanted a technique to work on awakening. He says awakening is basically getting insights into these three areas: impermanence, suffering, no ego. Do you know any techniques which achieve this effectively? There are multiple techniques I know but I don't know now what specifically they are for. For example: - Observing awarness itself - Being aware of the sensation of self wherever it is (for me in the back of my head) for a long time (is this basically self enquiry?) - Nothingness technique from Leo (I think) - Bringing awarness back to breath after thoughts arise technique. And of course just simple concentration techniques, which I like most because they are so simple. I'm just really confused right now. I really kind of hate the noting technique. (is it the same as "labeling", just a different name?) but maybe Im doing it wrong. What are the techniques I listed for and can they be used for enlightnening? Are there any others you could share?

Waking in the night, blankets on the floor, a terror born inside me; expulsion evermore. Neither was I here nor there; no space a place could be, the missing gate was I; this space is known as me. Horrified in agony, I stumbled to the mirror, screaming out for anyone; the silence only clearer. I starred into the gaze; and none starred back at me, this had been my secret - Truth: Infinity. Known & yet unrecognized, a face could not be seen, could not accept this shocking ruse; that love indeed is me. The floor was more my character, upon it I did seek, to my surprise, these molded tiles; more beauty than could be. All that I had known before, so perfect & airtight, was in jest - not misery, indignity, nor plight. Into the day, the same arose, awakened as in night; so within, it did begin - the everlasting life. Invincible, untouchable, harmless & unharmed, the nightmare had subsided; in no one was alarm. Knowing made impossible, in knowing of all things, Nothingness the superpower; I am just a dream.

@nexusoflife Are not all forms forms forms of thought. Who you think you are, as you say, being a collection of thoughts. Experiences too, being a collection of thoughts about a collection of thoughts experiencing thought to be matter. Thought being empty, nothingness. Thought making something out of nothing. So the other way you talk of, could it be merely watching thought as it creates things and then lives as/in/on/with them. Is there really any separation (the gap you talk of) between the you you think you are and the world you think you live in/on? All just thought, isn't it?

Letting all thought go, such as in those practices = “reconnecting” with source. I use quotes because we’re never actually disconnected. THE Source, is the source “of” you and everything you are desiring, achieving. All the dots you’re connecting along the way, all the understanding, etc, all The One, All Source. From the perspective of “separate self” (an idea of a self), you’re a person, who is in a physical world. This makes for need, effort, striving, resistance, recouping, There’s a sort of ‘you’ vs ‘the world’, underlying view...which leads to this.... You are already awesome, and everything in your life is coming from the true you, if you will, the source of all, absolute awesomeness - absolute you. There’s an idea of a you working on something, so there’s an idea that more of You/Source (“going more inside”) could jeopardize what “you” have going. That perpetuates the idea of the separate self. That’s an idea though, a facade. All goodness in your life has come from you. Just, plain old - you. There is no separate self, just perspectives & ideas of. These perspectives and & ideas - are resistance. Resistance to everything you are wanting. The fear of self, is being projected, contextualized in duality (more me = losing what I have going), leaving you focused more on the circumstances, than on the approach. Much more than approach, the very you which you are bringing to life, is entirely dictating the entire experience of the life. It’s hard to see, because it’s magical, and so all encompassing - but again, notice, all awesomeness in your life, came from you. I would listen to that very much. However, I would not go to the duality so ready, of “heart isn’t in it > drop out”. Maybe dropping out is best for your dream, maybe not. I would create a dream board, and starting putting everything & anything you want on it. Over time, this reveals the actuality of the perfection of your life - already well underway. How all your experiences, all your education, skills, everything you’ve learned, is actually perfectly gelling, seamlessly, right into what you are wanting. Becoming more aware of what you want, expresses yourself more deeply, and begins to reveal an entirely new world. A mystical uncommunicable world, where all that is unfolding, is in perfect accordance with your wanting, and your knowing of your true self - worthy of receiving it all, deserving of the unfolding of your unique life dream, just as you want it. Try to take a ‘step back’ from that. Consider, if there’s no such thing as an accident, and I & the experience are one, a life story unfolding - then - what’s the bigger picture here? How is that apparent ‘accident’ of electronics - actually guidance? What did it lead me to? What did I discover, know more so, about myself? You can utilize your dream board for something specific like this. In terms of what you find “scary”, on that subject you know two things: -What you don’t want. -Because you know what you don’t want, you inherently know what you do want. Use the board to make that pivot. Write a list, single words, of what it is you find scary. What do you actually think could unfold, that you don’t want. Then next to each word, make a list, single words, of the opposites. That will take the scariness of unwanted - and flip the perspective from ‘separate self wanting’ to authentic wanting (and the knowing of what you are really wanting), while simultaneously “reconnecting” with the source of you, the source of all things wanted. After a while, you won’t need the board, and you won’t need to “flip the perspective”, because you’ll be aligned with source, and your thoughts arising will be of your true nature. How life unfolds then - - I’m excited for you to see. It is such a walk in the park, that you are of course already “it”. There’s no effort or work in letting go. 99% of everything you have created so far in life - the “work” of it - was done before a single word was written, or a single brick was laid. It’s a safe bet, given where you’re at in life, that you have come to appreciate the usage of processes. In a sense, success in life to some degree, relies on the implementation of systems and processes. So, maybe take what I’m saying as a connecter of meditation, contemplation, source, and loving life. In meditation, let go as deeply as possible. Every single possible thing. Let go of all wanting to live, any need for anything, any need for motivation, for believing in yourself, any care for anyone or anything. Meta-Let-Go, into Nothingness. This will ‘kick up’ some beliefs you’re identified with. Without the knowing of what to do - without knowing this to is process driven - you might be reluctant to let go to the point of purification. However, let sensation clean out the misunderstandings, the falsities, let the waterworks flow every opportunity, welcome and allow the healing, non resistant like. Feel the emotions and be at ease knowing this is a flushing out, a cleaning & clearing out. When you get frazzled (because you ‘went into duality’ - thinking) and are “holding on”, confused, agitated, “stuck”, etc - just write what’s going on, on the board. Let it ‘out of your head’ and get it in front of you, so you can have a good, safe, easy, less involved look at it. Write how you want to feel, relax, focus gently on how that feeling feels. It only takes a few minutes. Pick one word, and write it, look at it, say it, feel it. Having changed your emotional state, then go back and consider - from this feeling - how does that “issue” look now? It’s much easier to see that you were just attached to one perspective. Very freeing and liberating. Remember, you are that circle around the yin & yang. Overall, you might call all of this unification. Leaving the separate self paradigm - the ideas of the one with the pressures, expectations, etc - the one with the “future” who could get “stuck” in something.....and venturing into the actuality...the real you, the wholeness, the entire experience, this actual magical now. In Truth, you - never move. You are not moving through a past, present, into a future. All that appears as changing, is merely convincing as such. However, there is only “this”. This “now” moment. Which all that comes and goes, comes and goes through - you. So relax, and be attentive to the gentility of the nature of this actuality. You are not accidental, nor is any of the unfolding. You are essential. There is no awesomeness without you.

Over the past five years I have been diving deeply and consistently into the nature of reality and myself. They're both the same thing. I have had several deep and very profound and indeed life changing nondual and psychedelic experiences at this point. I understand that everything in the totality of existence is all fundamentally and inexorably one. I have traveled to places within consciousness that are beyond the human imagination. I have had my sense of self and eradicated and reformed several times now. Looking into the viewport of infinity is indeed breathtaking beyond all comprehension. You really are absolutely infinite and so beautifully glorious beyond what our bodies and brains are physically evolved to comprehend right now. However there is something within me that is seemingly contently disinterested with phenomenological existence. I do not want to play this game anymore. I feel like no matter what I experience in this life, no matter where I go there will still always be a part of me that is just over the experience of existing as an individuation of consciousness at any level whether it be at a human level, bacterium level or godlike cybernetic alien level it’s all not the absolute truth, just more of this multiversal, multidimensional game of exploratory consciousness. After I live my life and die there is a very strong feeling at the “core” (there is no core) of my consciousness that I never want to reincarnate in any way. While that is an ego driven statement I feel that there is something within myself that this is coming from a place of much deeper much more comprehensive inner standing and understanding of phenomenological existence and it’s alternative merging COMPLETELY into God consciousness so fully that any hope or possibility of incarnation into the realm of form is entirely extinguished. No thought no mind, no form no play, simply infinite incomprehensible nothingness, the purest expression of God. Over the past year a feeling has arisen within myself that wants this life of this specific individuation of consciousness to be the last physical expression that this individuation of consciousness ever experiences. The feeling and sense of relief is what I long for. I long for the ending of all experience by this individuation. The thought of an I experiencing reality no longer is the all encompassing thing that it once was. Now the idea of an I experiencing reality seems so superficial and somewhat shallow in a sense. I enjoy life and its many phenomena but I can so clearly see ( at an increasing rate) the illusion of all of the realm of form. Expression, experience and phenomenological existence go together. And there is such a powerful longing within my energetic composition to just have relief from being, relief from form, relief from experience I feel like I have done this so many times. I feel that I have played this game an infinite number of times. Now there is a tiredness to it all. I am all,every subatomic particle, every atom, every cell, every organism in the multitude of multiverses every object in all of existence. I am the infinite Holon. I am immortal, timeless, and infinite in every way. Yet and still within this body, within this specific individuation of consciousness, within this trans-temporal energetic being I feel a strong urge to never want to return to this place. It matters not what form consciousness takes it all boils down to this. Same shit different form. You are God experiencing itself in every way that there is and isn't. After you have seen into infinity and lived in that place all of the forms become trivial they are no longer something to go after or to awe at when gazed upon. Its all infinite and there are never-ending forms but it all becomes ‘predictable’. You predict the outlandish and the mundane to the point where it becomes all just “meh” at a certain point of being blasted into infinity so many times. Viewing and being the infinite myriad of forms organisms, technologies, energies eventually it reaches a point of simply a pretty existential first person light show. The illusion is seen through and compared to truth the realm of forms and limitation becomes shallow in its substances. The transcendence of survival is a necessary place to come to in this work and an inevitable point. I have not transcended survival and am still subject to it’s whims but there are times ( and they are becoming increasingly more common) where I can get into states of consciousness where in those moments I would be 100% OK with dying. However I am only 22 years old and thus I would like to complete my bucket list before I leave this place and I have so much work to do on myself in this life; and so much more fun to have; and so many more things to explore. I do not hate life I enjoy it and all of it’s beautiful weirdness but it’s illusory nature no longer has the same charm and allure as it had before in my perception. The world of form is BS and while it is truth on a relative level it will never be the absolute truth due to the fact that life is navigating forms, whether they be physical or nonphysical. It is because of this why “I” (at a level beyond ego that is inexplicable to me currently) want out of this game at all levels permanently. You could incarnate into any multitude of alien species, Tryptamine entities, light beings, demigods, lichens, molds, insects, bacterium. While it is all you exploring and experiencing yourself once complete nondual awareness is had this experiencing looses it’s allure. It doesn't matter what form you take anymore. The destination and “point” of it all is the same. Simply put ULTIMATE UNION WITH GOD. This means a complete secession of all types of form and all types of experience, it is the embodiment and paradox of absolute nothingness. Not nonexistence, because God is infinite and thus nonexistence cannot exist; but nothingness in the sense of no longer being an individuation of consciousness bound to form and experience of any and all kind. It is this secession which is the omega point of this creation of this game. According to Buddhism the entirety of the realm of form is suffering in some way. This is Samsara. Nirvana is the release of this and the permanent secession of the individuated conscious experiencing of phenomenological existence. Absolute union with God. No more false boundaries, no more illusions. Just the simple truth. All incarnation is an infinitely intelligent yet amnesiac God exploring to know its infinite self. However there comes a point where for individuations this experiencing of fundamentally illusory forms is no longer necessary for understanding. There is a transcendent something beyond being, beyond phenomena. Phenomenological existence is not the only way that God can know itself. However it is the only way that we can know ourselves. As lifeforms we highly value life to the point of delusion. I have no way to back up what I am about to say here; but life and the totality of phenomenological existence in my experience feels like a preliminary training ground for something else. This place is illusion and with illusion comes pain and suffering in one way or another. At the end of the day all holons of existence especially organisms organisms “want” to be happy, and to know that they are God. I do wonder if there will be a point (Yes I know time does not truly exist) where all individuations of consciousness in the totality of phenomenological existence will realize and embody God consciousness and this section of the game will end. It’s just a thought I have sometimes. I know that God is infinite and thus I am infinite.

Perhaps this is how this can actually be a trap for you...where as if you face this fear head on and overcome it you will no longer cling to it. When you rest in Being, you are stilling the mind. Stilling the mind is where you will find Truth. By this we mean formlessness or nothingness. Infinity. But paradoxically infinity is not just emptiness but it is everything. When you become conscious of Truth you will relinquish your identity and with it your fears. Ultimately, of course, you will come full circle because, you were in fact always Truth even in form. You will go back to thought - to gathering thoughts and organizing them in your mind. To reflecting. But it will be different now. You will have transcended your own identity. You will be free of its clutches. You can do these things but they won't enslave you. Through this spiritual growth you can then self actualize to a much deeper level and find much deeper satisfaction from your reflections and from life itself.

No, you just havent tapped into it in your direct experience and are spreading toxic ideas confusing people on a forum instead of doing inner work. Theres no such thing as anything but yet such a thing as everything, non-duality is total nothingness and everythingness at the same time, thats the big picture here. Actuality on the contrary you are a prime example of what happens when one tries to over-intellectualize everything which clouds the ability to make spiritual growth. Which in a sense others can see what is really going on here, so carry on with your half baked ideas, and hope you find fulfillment in your life.

That’s the paradox of formlessness (awareness). It is literal nothing. You cannot point to nothing and yet it is the underlying nature of reality. Whenever one tries to talk about it yes of course duality arises. Real awareness, real formlessness, real nothingness can only be pointed to with language, and one can only become conscious of this absolute via itself. Awareness knows itself by being itself, awareness cannot point to itself. This is the key insight you misunderstand. To deny awareness is to deny your very direct experience.

natural, fresh, and whole, is a perspective, to lack something, you need an understanding of lack vs full. whole, vs empty. to see something as big you need to create a duality. between a full cup and an empty cup. from a god perspective, there is no chemical, everything come from "here" and everything is alien. food is alien, whole food is alien, looking at your hand is not physical, if you look at it for like 200 seconds, and don't try to think, you'll MAYBE get the ultimate. Then project this ultimate awareness of your hand, and imagine all "science actuality" is in fact, deeply created by minds, minds of human, that are picking tiny fragment of infinite interpretation of the nothingness. Nothingness that is all the things around you since you're "born". Until you realise ultimately that being born is aswell a thought in the now. there is food bad for some, good for others, and there is almost no way to know for sure what's good, that's the ultimate mindfuck, that's why thinking looks more & more like a tool and not like a toxic need that will help me figure out reality. It could, but for this, I need to be aware that I m handling a tool, that I m and I m not the thought. The most self belief people inflict to themself is believing being this or that, like, I m a black, I m a french, I m a dentist, those sort of things, but in nothingness that is the ultimate reality, there is no such thing, and you'll ever be nothing, just like everyone else. & a carni or vegan diet, both could be healthy or killing you, it will depend, of your personnal reaction. Poison is Cure, the cure is sometimes poison.

Love... just for the sake of it? Because its mechanism is a distraction from the pain of being all alone? Being god. Love. Because it’s fun? A challenge? a game? If love is the point, then what isn’t the point, if everything is love? Love... the continuation of “it all”? Leo how does nothingness relate to love?

Not sure where my life has been headed toward. I got out of an extremely deep and meaningful relationship in pursuit of a family about a year ago. The closest thing that I have to an objective purpose for the last 3-4 years has been to survive and reproduce. I was (probably still am) going to follow this and either have a massive family or be a sperm donor. My last girlfriend already had kids and, no matter what, I always had a resentment that another man’s kids where in her/our life. They were older and close to leaving the nest – but it was difficult. The chemistry we had was unreal. She would do anything for me, and I love(d) her. In order to make things work with her I looked into being a sperm donor, but here was a lot of legal stuff and I was unsure. I wanted to potentially have SOME sort of relationship with some of the children. Christmases without a family of my own later in life would not be easy. Most people open to this are lesbian couples who do are not going through a doctor. Eventually I found that the laws around this made things super complicated. Essentially I could possibly be sued for child support if the donation was not done through a clinic and virtually no one who is open to having the biological father be known in some capacity is open to this. I make what is (to me) a lot of money and I was afraid (still am). It’s a year later. I do not have any children and I broke up with the girl who meant so much to me. I have zero idea what I’m doing. On top of that, I just hurt my back, so I cannot workout like I usually do to have that feeling of “progressing.” I suppose that's why I'm taking the time to join this forum and putting my perspective inward. I know very little of why I should even have a purpose. Despite this I know: 1.) I should not do drugs or drink alcohol. I have an addictive personality and regardless of what I want my purpose to be, this will hinder it (unless my purpose is independent of my own self destruction.) 2.) I want to have a legacy that outlasts my material body. For some reason or another – children have been the focal point for this. 3.) I broke up with a girl that I love very much and have a deep (and maybe realistic) fear that I cannot function (sexually, romantically, spiritually) with others. Ultimately, I know that I had to have the break up. I was so resentful to the Universe for giving her children from another man. If I'm honest I probably resented her for this too, though it's not as though she had children 19 years before meeting me with ill intent. Following our relationship her ex-husband had another child, and her son had a child. Something that they probably didn’t think twice about was the meaning of my entire life. It really filled me with discontent. So now what do I do? I literally listened to nothingness this morning and sat for 20 minutes in silence. The closest thing I could get to an answer was “stay/be in the sunlight.” I think I was just cold and that was my subconscious. But I know there’s something here. I have the opportunity to work with the difficulties in life that I’m facing right now and to overcome them. I’m grateful for the opportunity but I have no idea where to go next. I’m making good money, attempting to get in great shape (though this back injury sucks) attending my AA meetings and trying to help others – but somehow I just have this lacking. I miss being in a loving relationship – and I do not see a way to have children as of now that I am fully comfortable with.

Where do brains appear? Awareness Where does the world appear? Awareness Where do mystical experiences occur? Awareness The distinction you must make is form vs. formlessness. Notice that form (physical brian states) can only interact with more form (conscious experience). But equally notice, that form cannot directly interact or manipulate formlessness (awareness). Form is great at interacting and manipulating itself, the 6 sensations (sight, taste, touch, sound, smell, mind) are all this entangled amalgamation we call reality. What you have to become conscious off is formlessness and moreover, that this formlessness is not only the underlying nature of reality, but it exists a priori to ALL forms within reality AND that form does not ever manipulate formlessness. Formlessness is infinite nothingness. Form only interacts with more form in a strange loop like manor (watch leo’s strange loop video to understand this phenomena more deeply) Sorry if this sounds redundant but Im trying to drill home this distinction is needed to understand why brains do not generate consciousness. Brains correspond with various experiences but not consciousness itself. I wont even say create conscious experiences because causality is its own rabbit hole not worth getting into.

Yes I refer to it as a pregnant nothingness. Labels and beliefs cannot attach themselves anymore because there is nothing there. Thank you so much for sharing that is an incredible story.

Hello everyone. From the beginning I apologise for my poor English.Please show me a little leniency?.My name is Constantin, im from Romania and im 47 years old.After my enlightenment experience,i start looking for more enlightened common people , I mean not like Mooji, Tolle or Adhyashanti.?.So in my searches , found Leo’s videos and after seeing his videos about enlightenment, I decided share my enlightenment experiences here.I try to be a short story ,because I don't want to bore anyone with the story of my life. For a start I will have to make a short introduction about how my spiritual journey began.So it all started at the age of 4 to 5,when the night before I fell asleep I had a “dream”. It's the “dream “I could never forget. Actually it was not a “dream “but that is how I considered it at that age.After forty years the same “dream “has been repeated quite similar .Now after forty years ,I know it wasn't a dream.Then for first time in my life , just 4-5 years old ,i experienced a powerful and authentic mystique experience, where I touched the true nature of my being. Unbelievable isn’t it? How do i know it was that ? I'll explain later when we get to this point.I continued to have a normal life until I was 23 when I discovered yoga and started practicing hatha -yoga , pranayama and meditation ,especially with the Aum mantra . I was attracted from the beginning by all that yoga means and I started reading many books of the spiritual masters like Ramana Maharishi, Nisargadatha Maharaj, Sri Aurobindu, Shivananda, Osho, etc. This is how I first heard the question "Who am I?" It was a powerful shock, because it was the first time we realized that, I am not really ,who I think I am.What do you mean I don’t know who I am ? ?You know that feeling isn’t it ?Then I made a commitment to myself, and told myself that I won't die until I find out ,who I really am. I practiced hatha yoga , pranayama and meditation for about 10 years ,with some notable results that became discontent later.I was not happy with that because ,had not reached "where" all the spiritual masters were pointing. And I decided to do nothing for a while. But this period lasted about 7 years.I was very unhappy, stressed, depressed, sometimes I didn't even want to live anymore. Nothing was linked in my life anymore and I didn't know where to start or where to go. All this time, I started to practice the introspection, self-oservation and self inquiry trying to find answers to the multitude of questions that grinded me. A good method that helped me a lot during the spiritual journey was "Neti-Neti". Meanwhile, after seeing the movie "DMT The spirit molecules”, I became very attracted to the world of psychedelics and felt that a new opportunity open up for my spiritual evolution. There followed a period when I documented how well I could ,about the magic mushrooms, lsd, dmt and ayahuasca. But the problem was now, where and how did I get these substances, because in Romania it was almost impossible at that time to find something like that.But as nothing is left to chance and as everything is interconnected, life has given me a new opportunity and I moved in London,England. Here I was able to get my lsd and Dmt and I found out ,where can I have to experience ayahuasca. I had a total of 12 experiences with lsd , one in every months. The first one was the launching pad in the infinite field of consciousness. At that time this experience completely changed my life. I remember that feeling like I was heading to death , before i take first time lsd (220 mu).. I was very scared but didint give up. I became more and more aware of thoughts, emotions ,feelings and sensations.I became contemplative and introverted. At the same time I had 6 experiences with synthetic DMT ,but to be honest I didn't like it so much,because they didn't give me time to explore the field of consciousness voluntarily.The multitude of vividly colored and fractal geometric shapes is impressive but you seem to be stuck there.It was clearly not for me, I felt that I could not use this as I wished for self discovery.The next year I found a place in Spain where I could experience ayahuasca ceremony ,and a nice surprise, 5 Meo-Dmt. It was the first time I heard of this substance. After doing my own research , I was impressed and told myself that is what I need. Although it is the most powerful drug in the world and scared me to death, my intuition told me to try it. So I went in Spain two times,where I had a total of four experiences with ayahuasca and two with 5 Meo -Dmt. An interesting thing was that, before about two weeks to experience 5 Meo -Dmt and ayahuasca, this thought appeared in my mind ,"you will gonna die". And it was repeated as a mantra ,and the more tried to avoid it or resist it, the more powerful it was.Just imagine this for while ?. From this point whole my life became “pure madness “if I think that ,with a rational and logical mind. On the other hand, if you have a radically openmind to infinity, as Leo says, everything turns into authentic spirituality. Now I have reached the point where I can explain the so-called “dream “I had when I was a kid. So we are at the moment when I have smoked 5 Meo -Dmt , we smoked because his origin it was from that frog ,bufo alvarius. I mention that ,before I smoke ,I told myself that, all I want before I die ,is to know “who I am”. Because I felt like this are the last moments i have to live.I smoke all at once, as I was instructed and I have time to sit down in a meditation posture just about 5 seconds. I was instantly absorbed into an infinite and empty space.Everything was of a light darkness and in every direction I looked was without limits. Time was gone. It was just an eternal moment. An absolute quietness was everywhere.There was no trace of “I “ like self ,physical body, thoughts ,emotions or sensations .I just exist, I was pure existence.I was simply enjoying my own existence.Suddenly I was absorbed again into a small space like an atom but accompanied by the same infinity, lack of time and form,like one moment ago. I was eternal.I was an endless ocean of pure joy and happiness. In fact this was the taste that I had left afterwards, the taste of Eternity.The whole experience lasted about 45 minutes, afterward I practically began to feel as I entered the physical body as in some clothes. I translated different specific energetic bodies ,until i got to the physical body. It was a very painful emotional return. I felt that ,I did not want to comeback to the physical body, but i can’t do nothing against. Who want to comeback from Eternity? I lay down on the floor in the newborn position and started crying for a few moments. I don’t know why? I felt clear how all this was prepared for me ( as a person) beforehand,it could not have happened otherwise. Now ,if we remove just the part whit the comeback for the trip ,how you can describe this trip when you are child ?? Even like adult , when you suppose to know everything, How you describe indescribable ? It was dream? It was samadhi? It was a meeting with God? It was awakening? It was enlightening experience? What happened 8 hours later was even more unbelievable. So 8 hours later at midnight ,the ayahuasca ceremony took place . During the trip with ayahuasca, i had a flashback quite similar with 5 Meo -Dmt but with a strong infusion of Dmt vivid visons from ayahuasca brew.This time because the journey with ayahuasca lasts between 4-6 hours ,was much too much for me.I felt like it would never end.. As I closed my eyes I began to enter an infinite game of creation.I witnessed an endless creation of universe that unfolds with an indescribable speed. Panic began to dominate me. Me like a person did not control that . I went and woke up one of the people who watched us during the ayahuasca ceremony.. I tried to explain to her what was going on with me but I saw how helpless she was in helping me.The only thing I could do was give up myself to the situation.To be honest ,how can someone help you in this situation.? She stayed up with me all night and until 10 o'clock in the morning.She talked and walked with me outside in the garden all this time trying keep me here on earth. I had lost my entire egotic identity, now i am just Pure Presence. I was omnipresent and omnipotent. You know this infinite power scare you , if you’re not ready yet for her .After a period of time I became aware of the physical body ,but with great efforts and at the same time, I think due to the decrease of the dmt dose in my body system. I remember one time when I went to bathroom, I looked in the mirror to see if I still have my face.?.In the afternoon I tried to sleep a bit but couldn’t., my mind had become infinite, and this power that was present in me did not let me sleep.That strong energy was still present in the body ,couple days afterward. Like I was connected to a nuclear power plant. My mind was fucked up. Every vision I had blow my mind. I never thought someone can experience something like this. So now I ask you ,when you think the Awakening took place ?? When I was a child or two years ago when happened what I talking about?? Tricky , weird and amazing in the same time isn ‘t it. You remember that stupid thought, that totally upset me and got me scared ,“ I will gonna die”? Now it's gone by itself. You know why.? Because I was really fucking dead. Of course, I could write more in detail, but I tried to extract only the essentials. What I experienced directly in about 24 hours ,under the influence of this amazing technology that is 5 Meo Dmt and ayahuasca ,can never be accurately described. And not because we do not have the necessary resource, but because we are the resource itself. How you can describe , indescribable.? You can’t. In fact Here is nothing to be described. So what followed in the next two years after and until today, is a intense process which led me to enlightenment and in which all knowledge must be incorporated into daily life. Now I will tell you what happens in the next two years after the spiritual awakening.After this deep awakening, at a distance of a month and a half, I experienced the second ceremony with ayahuasca and 5 Meo Dmt, in the same place in Spain.There is a lot to say about the second experience with 5 Meo-Dmt, but maybe another time.After all this I decided to start meditating again, because I still had doubts about the method by which the spiritual awakening took place.I still couldn't believe that psychedelics can do so. Mostly it was due to my deep rooted belief ,that spiritual awakening can only take place just through the traditional methods,like meditation, self- enquiring, contemplation.I was wrong, they working better together. A single experience with 5 Meo -dmt makes ten years of yoga and meditation no longer matter.But yoga istill counts as the foundation of any psychedelic experience.Because if the foundation is not good then the house is ruined. If you want real progress, on the spiritual path, this combination of traditional yogic methods and psychedelic could be the ideal method, if you have an open mind ,of course . After the awakening experience, I became very conscious and reach a high level of consciousness ,this helped me a lot in practicing meditation effortless All this time I saw again after many years a lot of the teachings of Mooji, Adhyashanti, Sadhguru, I saw the whole category with films about enlightenment, non-duality, meditation and not only on Leo's blog. I read again a lot of books of Ramana Maharshi, Nisarghadata Maharaj,, Eckhart Tolle, Lao Tzu,books like Vivekachundamani,Yoga Vasistha,Baghavad Gita, Patanjali- Yoga Sutra,documents about Wei-Wu-Wei, zen buddism,holographic reallity ,non -duality. I suck all the information like a sponge, because now I understand everything, and everything makes sense.The meditation session were initially about 40-45 minutes ,after which they rose at one and a half hours and later ,at three and a half hours. I started meditating again with the mantra Aum, but soon I replaced the mantra with a method taken from the book Vijnana Bairava Tantra. This technique involves following the breaks between thoughts ,and penetrating through this pause beyond the mind in absolute silence. This is an advanced technique, but wasn’t a problem for me. I felt that I needed a very powerful method to invest whole the spiritual energy, that I had accumulated from previous experiences .This technique implies a very good concentration and the power of observing thoughts without identifying with them. Basically you are always careful not to cling to any thought, always remaining in the void between thoughts.At the beginning, of course, the pause is practically unobservable or very small, let's say for a second, but as you progress in practicing it the pause will get bigger and bigger.Virtually all you have to do is to be careful that every time you notice that you are clinging to a thought, you will remember and return to the void between them.And at the master's level of technique you will remain absorbed in the pause between two thoughts, which have now increased considerably, regardless of the flow of thoughts running in the background. An advice, don’t trust in your rational mind. Three or four months later after I started to practice this technique, during a meditation, I suddenly began to hear an inner sound.This sound cannot be described in words, others called it "the music of the spheres", but I called it "the sound of absolute quietness ". Of course, silence cannot be a sound in a rational explanation, but this is a paradox.Have you ever tried to listen the silence ? You will be surprised when you understand that ,here is nothing just Absolute Silence. I was surprised by his appearance ,and in the first phase, I did not understand his meaning. Then I realized that this is the reward of my work. I had passed beyond my mind. I had passed through the void between thoughts in the Infinite Emptyness. From this point, my meditation turned into absorption into Infinite Tranquility. Thus I understood that sound was a huge help in my meditations. In fact I was doing nothing ,but sit and listen to the “sound of quietness “.And I continued to meditate until ,I realized the true nature of my being. .Only in absolute tranquility the light of the True Self can be seen. To be able to understand that ,,I am a Pure Consciousness.”, I must gave up even this divine sound , (don’t understand wrong sound is here , he can’t go anywhere ?) Now i am aware about my awareness. In these last two years I have had many illuminating experiences( satori) on different levels of understanding. Do you know that “ A-HA” moment which every enlightened being talking about, is so very thrut ,profund and simple. This is the reason why is called “A-HA” , because is so simple.What is Real Self ?, what is Reality?, or what mean enlightenment? Is nothing you can imagine or thinking. It’s beyond your imagination. Because whatever you will imagine ,you already are.Here exist just one infinite reality, that is Reality of I AM . To this Reality you cannot give it any form and no name, and no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to comprehend its infinity in any form, regardless of its nature. I have even experienced the awakening of the kundalini energy, for four times. Years ago I was curious to experience this, after reading the stories of others. I didn't ask for that, but my intuition was telling me it was going to happen.But now after it happened to me ,I’m not sure if I would like to experimence again anymore. I did not know never when it will happen, but when he woke up it completely paralyzed me. It is so strong that I remained with the jaws clenched , I had the impression that my teeth would break. My mind was stuck, my whole body was vibrating strongly and I could do nothing but observe how this energy walks through my body like a snake. Yes indeed, was feeling like a real snake inside my body , making space through my head. It was so terrifying the first time,after that I started getting used to it a bit.But if I add the element of surprise, that I never knew when the next time would be ,and under what conditions it will happen, nothing changes much ?.These traditionally techniques boosted with lsd, ayahuasca, dmt and 5-meo-dmt , make me feel like a rocket that did not deviate from its path to Mars. It's the best combination ever.It doesn't matter that I am involved in daily activities or not, that I meditate or sleep, that I have sex or watch a movie, that I contemplate or think, I am present Here and Now .Finally I transcended the mind, Now I am this Infinite Monolithic Presence.I am the center, that has no center. I am beyond all Gods who have ever existed and will ever exist.I am a Pure Being. I will share with you ,two things that others call paranormal powers (siddhis), they are like a gift received for my work. 1. Now I am so concious, that no thought, emotion or feeling that appears on the screen of the mind ,can’t pass unnoticed and of course that, I do not identify with anything. They can no longer cling to me.The strongest laughter I have ever had and I still have , when I see how rationally mind and thoughts work and how they can create an identity where there is none. You understand how unbiased you must be with yourself and others to have this laugh? To laugh at your own thoughts and not to believe them?. That mean zero judgement. Doesn’t matter mind is active or not,I am always the invisible still witness, which rest on highest level of consciousness of myself . I am Here in this Present Moment,always . Can you imagine what it is like to remain still and silent in the midst of a mental storm of daily life,for a day? Or for a week? Do you can imagine how is to use mind just when you need? 2. Now I can be in any body I want, I can practically feel what it is like to be in another body and have a different shape. I can be you, no matter how you look and who you think you are.I can feel through your body. I can take any form and feel what it is like to be any form. I am anything ,everything and nothing simultaneously. Now there is no difference between me and the others, because there is no "me" and no "the others". Here only One and Infinite Consciousness exists.They call that Omnipresence. They are permanent state of “mine”. But i am so aware about that ,even these high states cannot define me, because I am the Pure Being from whom nothing can be attached. I am in a state without any state. I am Nothingness . I just exist. I hope this example will motivate and keep you on the spiritual path to the end. However, all that I have written here is not real and ultimate true, you no need to believe me. Do your own research and then open it for the Ultimate Truth to fill you..This is a dream that is part of another bigger dream, which in turn is part of another biggest dream, and that goes on into an infinitely fractalic dream..Here exist only One and Absolute Reality ,and it cannot be expressed by any form of expression. IT JUST IS. Thank you everyone.?

Because God would then become a 'thing', something that can be worshipped. Try to worship emptiness/nothingness, you will always fail. You are free, so be free. That's the whole point of religion.

Real ADHD is a bitch. Living in a western society and going through the scholastic system with ADHD, regardless of whether or not you’re on medication, is a bitch. Spiritual work, and specifically meditation, with ADHD can seem like the most impossible task, considering that the majority of what spiritual practice is is cultivating the discpline and art of paying attention. What could be more of a nightmare for someone with ADHD then to sit down, shut, don’t move, and pay attention even when what you’re focusing on has no interest to you for long periods of time? I was on ADHD medication from the age of 6 till 22 until I went cold turkey (DON’T DO THAT!) and never went back on. Since that time I’ve struggled with energy problems, had to cut out certain foods once I got off because for one reason or another they just would train wreck my nervous system (it would feel like pouring water onto a circuit board), and had even less capacity to tolerate spiritual practices. Though there was an adjustment over time, I had to find for myself ways through experimentation ways of being to sit down and meditate and train my mind. I tried nootropics for a bit but, for those that have been on medication for a LONG time (I’d say beyond 10 years), you know how easy and quickly the body adapts to such short cuts. I was tired of using pills and shortcuts that didn’t work long term. Then I started experimenting with feeling my body, Reichian therapy, the release of energetic blockages where I hold a lot of my psychosomatic trauma and all of a sudden I would find myself in states of deep samadhi with little to no effort. How? A mind/body holding in emotions/tension/energy is a mind that can’t stop thinking. Release that and the mind will quiet. For those who feel great quietness of mind after a cathartic emotional release from a lot of crying or therapy session know what I’m talking about. Somewhat recently I video chatted with one of the highest Zen masters in the West (I’d argue the world), Doshin Roshi. As Ken Wilber puts it “Doshin is one of the most accomplished spiritual teachers on the planet.” Though I’m now part of Doshins Integral Zen sangha here in Boulder/Denver, I had the opportunity to video chat with him before I moved here back in early August. I explained my struggles with my practice because of my ADHD and he cut me off and said “I have ADHD and OCD. Don’t mean nothing,” followed by a hearty laugh. Left speechless, I took him up on that and that maybe I was just making excuses for not just continuing to find what it is I’m doing wrong in my practice. Boy was he right. Now I want to give credit where credit is due to @ardacigin where he talked a lot about Culadasas approach to teaching meditation and Arda gave an outline of the progression of practice along with a very detailed explanation of the how it is this works, why it works, and why this outline is important. I bought the Mind Illumibated on Kindle and by the time I finished reading what Culadasa calls the first stage of practice and immediately tried it out, within 5 minutes I FINALLY could hold access concentration. Totally blown away I kept doing it and was able to sustain it longer and longer and longer. This is being done by someone that dropped out of college because he couldn’t pay attention (and more stuff). So, what exactly did I do? Do NOT make the intent to hold your focus. Yes you read that right. That is NOT the goal. The goal is simply to remember whenever your mind wanders off and gently bring it back every time. If your mind is going so crazy you can bring it back, remain in the same posture but just take some time to regather, then resume when ready. Why do you not just go for yoking your attention? Because if you’re still struggling to maintain focus, you can’t force because the very “act” of forcing is a thought itself. Concentration develops on its own. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THIS. I am blown away at how this is working. So in conclusion, if you have ADHD, I don’t think you necessarily need to go about the route of paying for excessive nootropics or neurofeedback. I no longer subscribe to ADHD being a reason you can’t progress without special something that necessarily costs thousands of dollars to fix. Da Vinci was enlightened and realized the nature of Nothingness and he had terrible ADHD. There are Zen masters of the highest order who have it. I think it takes a matter of working with emotions, your nervous system, and the right practice. I recommend you read The Mind Illuminated. Look into traditional Hatha yoga practices before you get steeped into Kriya. Look into releasing energetic/emotional/neuromuscular tension built up. And most importantly, I suggest you take responsibility and start. If you want Truth, you want to go as far as you can with this path? Stop talking shit about how much you want it. DO IT. Figure it out. Stop theorizing. Stop neurotically analyzing. Spend the majority of your time practicing and contemplating. You don’t even necessarily need high concentration to realize who and what you are. Find what works for you. Nothing that is effective is done because you follow a certain system. Systems are bullshit and a waste of time if they don’t work for you. Find what works for you or create what works for you. If you need to meditate in intervals, meditate in intervals. If you need to give verbal reminders to yourself and break your outer silence while you meditate to console yourself, provide determination and discpline, or just regather yourself, give yourself verbal reminders. If you don’t know what to do, talk to enlightened masters. They are available. You even know of them. Do you email Ralston? Do you email or get in contact with guys like Martin Ball? Do you message other yogis and other such people? From the fantasy I see on here regarding what you think enlightened people are like, the answer I would give would be no and that’s just insane. These people are available to help you. They even WANT to help you and give you their perspective. They will help dispel fantasies and just downright bullshit. They will give you tips and even provide encouragement and hook you up with connections. You need to be responsible for your own awakening because no one else is going get you to awaken but you. No guru is going to do it. You and only you can. Who else could do it? Done.

Seeking to understand the process is fine... it's when you believe you have found the answer in some external form that is the problem. The reason why all the great Masters have said go within.....is because it quite literally is a falling away process of your false self, and the realization of your true self which is actually nothing. When you strip away all the onion layers and labels you have allowed yourself to believe you will realize the nothingness which is left over. Here is something I found describing what I'm describing: Enlightenment is devastatingly simple....Enlightenment is what we are. There is nothing to gain, only its recognition....Awakening to enlightenment is a journey from here to here, not from here to there. There is nowhere to go and nothing to be attained. Enlightenment is simply an awakening to what has always been the case. There is only the seeing through of our own ignorance. --Gary Crowley

Concepts are named distinctions, pointers. All names point towards something, sometimes to an appearance and sometimes to actuality. These names need to be 'fleshed out', like pointing your mind's finger towards a dog and saying 'dog'. Infinity is a pointer towards something that is beneath language, towards something that is more fundamental. The mind is making distinctions, but what does it make distinctions in? In nothingness. When all distinctions collapse, you are absolutely nothing and that nothing is ripe with potential to make distinctions. That is absolute infinity. Have you not experienced this? Absolute infinity is the potential for actualization. Lack of resources to do so does not invalidate it - on the contrary! Without the potential, you would have not have been able to say 'hmmm... I don't have the piece of paper long enough to write the never-ending list'! Bound entities such as 'finite human' are a choice that is actualized in response to potential. It is actualized on the level of the mind that has the creative capacity. What is the source of potential? Absolute infinity. You can always question the established order and find cracks in it. That is what you've been doing on this forum. All beginnings and ends can be questioned by noticing inconsistencies. It does not matter whose inconsistencies they are. Infinity is not 'vastly huge'. It is the inexhaustible potential for creation from which 'things' come. Infinity is boundlessness. If you take a number line, infinity is not on the number line. It is not a number.

@Angelite no the part of you that makes you ... you. is not of consciousness in nature. It is literal nothing. Therefore you can never die, conceptually, physically or any other method. because you were never born, nor died, neither live nor dead, neither have life or didn't have life We say we are consciousness because that's all we can know is we are aware of things and that is 100% truth. it can not be otherwise. You will never die, just get reincarnated an endless amount of times. to die would be to become god ... "the god beyond the god".. that is literal nothing is not an experience, sensation or feeling, it is a knowing transmitted by divine knowledge. Hence we have scriptures and actualise them with spirituality.... that is when you are a dual being... ofcourse you see how can i talk to you about things outside your knowing ?? this is what you will call a belief but when all dualities collapse you are left with truth, not an experience of truth. That's what it means to have the last divine duality.. it is a knowing. the truest axiom we can have in human knowledge.. non-duality is both non-dual and duality together meaning everything is imagination... hence we call this love. but then there's a duality between relative truth and absolute truth. Because the not knowing of it is a duality, not knowing vs knowing. it needs to turn into absolute knowing. And that is the IDEA and BELIEF of literal nothingness. Then any context you talk about absolute truth is absolute. As peter ralston likes to say also its the absolute truth is that YOU ARE GOD. YOU ARE IMAGINING IT ALL. AND IT IS ABSOLUTE LOVE. Leo's three highest teachings to understanding all of his work And ofcourse he is absolutely correct not because it doesn't cover the absolute truth in knowledge... because non-duality has levels and layers. This strange loop or absolute statement is absolute on all layers... the statement themselves are divine knowledge. Because to know what is divine it must be understood in its entirety. the experiences are relative. but they come from divine knowledge and there can be portrayed as divine, when they are indeed relative. but it is what it is at the end of the day. Self-deception knows no bound. You will enter a black hole where you keep falling because nothing is real anymore. Imaginary / actuality has broken down. This is where his work leads. but as i said, the experience is relative. The knowledge itself is absolute truth because absolute truth is a communication transmission, not a true or false experience. also yes i experienced it last night, its nuts LOL

being is a feeling of relaxed-ness , to throw the future out, to know no knowledge structure is true yet at the same time not false, to look at the carpet and say you are my brother and to look at the lamp shade and say you are my sister and we come from the true one. once, this is understood - you have nothing but appreciation for "other" because you have understood the trinity in actuality. all 3 are the same beings in non-duality. I can look at you right now and i think no thoughts except about how amazing you are. What i am doing is complimenting how amazing life is? its an appreciation for life itself in any form this is being relaxed to know and to experience both these things to be true. see we are the same beings and we are not because both of us are source, but both of us live in our different reality and all of it is just a divine play, so no matter what is happening to you. The divine spirit in you I BELIEVE will not bound me to think otherwise. because belief comes actuality . So this literally makes you my brother in actuality. without distinction. i'm looking at a radiator and yes it is my brother. imagination/ actuality break down and neither are true yet both are it is just black powder, once you realise this then you see the black powder (a form of nothingness) in others, you see true nature in others. Nothingness and somethingness - goes on for infinity ,there are just different flavours. and thats A-O-W-K-E-Y mirror identical fracticals or the true self that i found for myself , that is. edit: i can also think bad thoughts about! but that's still okay because i am the true one as me, so it doesn't matter! but in actuality, you don't have that much resentment, probably somewhere sure deep down. Still its a belief instilled into all of us , that gives us correct grouding in true one, that's as far as we can go in absolute infinity. Now i could tell you which human body , the true one currently resides in ,to have faith in grounding that belief. But i've decided that.. you all started this journey seeking, so you must all finish your journey as a seeker until your exestential questions are answered. Therefore you must forge your own path, just like enlightenment was an idea, so to is an idea that you can ask the true one any question and they will be answered. The whole point of life is to go to source first and THEN discuss it amongst yourself. You don't discuss it amongst yourself , create an idea and then go to source to confirm that belief. No you get the raw belief straight from source. because no words can be more true than its. But then use enlightenment to actualise that belief into an imagined reality where it is true. See the difference of how you rid yourself of suffering ? truth/ false is relative ... belief / proof is relative .. faith/ not faith is relative what it is , is simply the case. and how will you know if you don't ask them directly yourself, you will only have the experience of someone else asking and then tell you. This is again going to human for help. It is delusion, yet what i say is ultimately the Truth where else do you set up a commune except online. it didn't matter what religion it came from, it didn't matter who was involved, it doesn't matter who, it doesn't matter your level of enlightenment , it doesn't matter about your political views. the only thing that matters is putting this in relative terms thinking about everyone. Simply put, i future sighted that, it can only take place here "online". How could it be otherwise? we all dreamed about changing the world, yeah how about we give it a go until its lights out.... Let the chips fall where ever they may. A unified life purpose for all of us in harmony.

@Truth Addict Infinity is a bitch because it doesn't really align with the way our minds work. I'm not going to try to argue anything about what infinity may or may not be, but I will argue that it is an inevitability. So this doesn't mean that 'reality' (whatever we think of or mean by that term) is infinite, but that it must be couched within infinity (and weirdly, therefore also be infinity itself, even if 'reality' is not infinite - as there can be nothing other than infinity. So anything finite must be a defined part of infinity, therefore infinity itself... see what I mean about it not being the way our minds work?) Anyway, it's as simple as this: Picture a finite thing. You're picturing it in a space. What are the boundaries of that space? You're picturing that within another space... keep going indefinitely. You'll hit an infinite "amount" of spaces and an infinite "amount" of boundaries - it will never, ever stop. It might sound unsatisfying if you want to make infinity a thing, but it's not a thing. Thus you're not going to be able to think of or picture it. You can also do the same thing in reverse (which is useful, as we tend to think of infinity in some way as meaning "really big", when all it means is not-finite). So picture the tiniest thing you can think of. What's it made of? Ok, so what is that made of... ad infinitum. But we can argue infinity as a certainty: Infinity must be, because we have two options; 1) Something exists. Therefore (as above) it unceasingly expands to infinity. 2) Nothing exists. Therefore nothingness is infinite, as there is nothing to bound nothingness. Either way, infinity is an inevitability. ... But that doesn't necessarily mean that what we think of as reality is infinite. Or what we think of when we imagine infinity is infinite. Or anything else. Just that infinity is inevitable, and our minds aren't really made to get it.

@Jkris Right and the truth of the situation is both nothing and something are creations, so you still love creation and life. There is something for you to choose to love and have experienced beneath the layers of nothing and something is pure nothing, the substance which is unattainable. This is god, but we use non-duality to understand that it is us because the constructs of your belief are that of it, even limiting yourself is your own design. The experience of pure nothing, is pure nothingness atleast with your nothing you are still experiencing So what you are really saying is that you love something. Do you see the unconditional love for yourself you have given yourself ? for pure unattainable nothingness, is truly pure nothing. No something or no nothing. so the answer is : to experience life and indulge in those things you find joyful, even if that is the pursuit of non-duality to nothing. its unconditional experiential joy and love. This pure nothing is the domain of god, and any domains beyond that are unknown to us. for our perception is trapped in something + nothing. This pure nothing mainifests in human form if it wanted to as itself, this pure nothing can also manifest in a human form as you which makes its form unattainable. Still to the pure love is unconditional, so it can only experience itself through you. However, you can experience yourself through yourself, see because it is nothing. Its the same thing, just sometimes the whole comes into manifested form and this would be a god in the form of a human. Just like it's us as god in a human form. But this human would obviously have the full might of what is possible for that particular god. Like what you imagine it to be. Like creating money out of thin air. its unattainable for a person who was unconscious at birth. This person would have had to be born with it. because he would have manifested the whole of god in his human form. in this way for the human figure coming from a dualistic point we can say "they were blessed" but truly it is not a blessing. it is just god in a human form

God Nothingness Godhead Brahman Emptiness Void Source Silence Bliss Love Goodness Dao Zeus Einsof Yahweh Al-lah Infinity Consciousness Truth Shiva Awareness Nobody No-Self True Self The Universe Absolute Nothing Buddha-Mind Buddha-Nature Teotel 5-MeO-DMT True enlightened masters they are

I See it clearly now Enlightenment was all about an awakening to love Its love that allows for the rest to occur because it is the substance of it. its indescribable love and is formless it can be intelligent, it can be dumb, it can be infinite , it can be anything it wants to be. Thats the order Awakening to oneness Awakening to nothing then finally Awakening to love It is the heart beat of the universe. But even there is no sensation to it, it's the being itself that is awoken on the level of heart, this is why it gets misinterpretted alot, how do you say the love behind the love? the being of love is 2nd order, love itself is first order. When the sensation of love appears that is conditional love for that present moment. it is emptiness , nothingness, love , truth all of it in one go , YOU , all words it has no reason , it just is. Its still just a taster of what a being can possibly feel and that's why truth is truth, however, we can awaken to different things , like intelligence, love , all facets equally. You are just watching yourself go through the emotions. THATS WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ENLIGGGGGGGGGGGHHTTTTTTTTTENNNNNEEDDDD BEINGGGG ARREEEEEE SOOOO DIFFFERENTTTT AND ENLIGHTENMENT IS SO CONFUSING The enlightenment is one event, but the awakenings to itself ,LOOOOOOOL OMG THEY ARE AWAKENING TO FACETS OF ITSELFF Like pulling them out from a portal of itself to itself through its being which is in a finite space! but simulataneously everywhere! its pulling it out from its deepest layers. GOD to know itself and that's why enlightenment is infinite! BUT the present moment is itself justified by itself it is nothing! BUT ULTIMATELY LEO IS RIGHT to have an awakening to all its facets , "MANY ENLIGHTENMENTS" the question is how many facets are there? BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRANGE LOOP AND A PARADOX