Search the Community

Not sure why we needed a thread about it on top of his original thread. On average there is supposed to be 120 deaths by suicide per day on US alone. Then there is all the other kinds of brutal and unfair deaths. The importance of this person is only because you had some attention diverted towards him on this forum. The ego constructed a story/scenario and now the ego is fighting/debating about it about how sad it is and how reality should be all rainbows and sunshine. It's all in the mind. If he wanted to die and went through with it he manifested what his mind wanted at that moment. There's no point labelling it as good or bad. you feeling bad about it isn't going to change anything for him but it will make you unnecessarily feel worse. No one here is responsible for anything, and shouldn't feel guilt. Yes we all suffer when a loved one dies but it is all in the mind, the logical thinking and memory's and inability to accept change and let go of a person who was always bound to an ending. None of Leo's teachings points to physical death, only ego death or spiritual enlightenment, but one who seeks suicide will find what he ultimately seeks.

I feel like a prisoner in this world. I assume this is the reason why some choose to commit suicide. To escape the matrix. As the ultimate fuck you to whoever placed us here. I am not suicidal, nor depressed, but I admit that I do recognise some aspects of these conditions within me. I have adopted a non-seeking behaviour (or perhaps a passive-seeking behaviour). Why do I need to perform all these practices to realise something I didn't ask for? Why do I need to wake up everyday in a reality I didn't ask to be in, to follow a sequence of events that I don't believe in? It feels like groundhog day, except very very real. But I do admit I don't really know what real means. I don't have anything to compare it to. This realness just doesn't seem to give a fuck. It's indifferent. And for that reason I don't give a fuck about it... At times. At other times it seem to be one hell of an interesting place to be in, beyond beautiful. But this view is not pervasive. Is this an egoic mechanism at work, me trying to attack God, but only hurting myself in the process? Probably, but I can't seem to escape it. This perspective is persistent. The doubt and lack of trust I've experienced from the start of this journey has increased. It's like I'm trying to keep myself from knowing. Whenever I start to make progress in any practice, be it breathing exercises, Samadhi meditation, or psychedelic breakthroughs, I just seem to be pulled? back into complacency and homeostasis. It seems like I'm worse off than I was at the beginning. The frustration, wanting, needing, craving, desire is overwhelming. It makes my mind uneasy. Meditation does not help to lessen the uneasiness I'm experiencing. Neither does introspection. It makes it worse. For that reason I have considered giving up, or at the very least taking a break from all this. But I can't do that either. Not while I know that this path could lead to salvation. I'm feeling kinda lost at the moment, because I have no freaking clue what's going on, or what to do.

thats interesting.I had a forced nirvana enlightenment experience.I was in paradise...i saw the truth the love the freedom.But after two years i was fucked i was ready to suicide.So much pain in my heart.Is it attacks or is it just the + and - in life?

Once you transcend your consciousness into nirvana but not enlightened yet (not in kingdom of god state) your consciousness lose your body's protection and you are target for all kinds of vital forces that can make you to commit suicide. Buddha had many attacks of such kind just before his awakening under Bodhi tree. Second thing is the way he reached transcendental consciousness or witness state - ice bath and month in darkness and starvation - what the fak? Such techniques will drive anyone to insanity, people try to get fast results and eventually do wrong things, spiritual path has to do with energy and energetic mechanisms should be understood but he used brute force- God knows what happened to him but if it ended up badly then well he will probably reincarnate and start everything again, God is all forgiving.

That's really sad.But you know...at this point you feel nobody understands you.Suicide is a part in human nature.I believe he tried it.I also believe parents are responsible for that, in every circumstance a young individual commits suicide the parents are responsible.I believe parents are responsible for your 'normal' suffering too.Fuck people that become parents without real self development.In the forum there is so much pain...this is what forces us to change, if we were 'happy' we would not try.The only thing that matters is to stay alive.Its ok to feel pain to become sick but everything can be reversed if you are alive.If you trully believe you can change the situation everything is possible.I wish nobody feel the destructive pain of suicide.Pain can be destructive for the body or for the ego(which is the opossite)

To say he did it in the name of Truth is ridiculous. Likely he did it because he was suffering mentally. It became obvious with later threads that he was seriously psychologically disturbed. His initial thread where he talked about fasting and jumping into the ice water was a little intense, but not worthy of intervention. Within the context of this forum, extended fasting isn't exactly an alarm. He said he did it for 25 days drinking water, yes, but there weren't other details and he seemed fairly lucid. People go on juice fasts for 1 month, and that could have been what he meant. It sounded like he was just a dude who was pushing some physical limits, as is one approach that has been taken by others in the past. Btw, some people, like athletes, do ice baths regularly. Weird? Yes. Extreme? Maybe, but within context it wasn't cause for any particular alarm. He came across like a hardcore seeker. Not everyone in life does things softly, and we can't always assume the worst. In this case, Leo probably assumed what I assumed: that he's a little foolhardy, but admirable. In the first thread where he mentioned killing himself he was being cryptic and making it seem like he was seeking ego death rather than physical death. I left a half joking comment saying he should consider the suicide hotline because something felt really off... if you look at the posts, it's clear that not everyone thought he going to literally kill himself. When he implied potential self harm, Leo's statement both times very clear: don't do anything to harm yourself. Distorting these teachings to make that stuff okay is only something that can be done out of a very low and distorted level of consciousness - at that point it doesn't matter what teaching or teacher you put in front of them... they are going to reap their own distortions.

Suicide can be used as an experiment in willpower, but normally people who commit suicide don't do it for that reason. For example, in the Jaina (Jainism) tradition death (Santhara) has also been used to strengthen willpower. Phowa, is the "the practice of conscious dying" in Vajrayāna Buddhism.

Over the last year I've come around on Islam as my level of consciousness has increased. Firstly, Mohammed's project was a vast improvement on the tribalism of the Arab people some dozen centuries ago. (Of course, his success in this was partial. Arabs are still fairly tribal. But it was a necessary and moderately successful undertaking by all accounts.) This is something that probably escapes a lot of Islam's critics. (BTW, same applies to Genghis Khan and his empire.) Secondly, some very smart people have persuaded me that Islam is not unreformable. And they were right: pay attention to the social and legal changes in the heart of Islam (Saudi Arabia.) Women will have near-Western type equality with men within a decade. They are doing something very smart: instead of inviting endless culture wars as we have now in the West, they are building cities with relaxed, Western-type laws and culture. Localism is best, localism works, people need to stop trying to inflict their vision on one another. Live and let live. Allow for religious enclaves and liberal enclaves. This is real diversity. Iranian mullahs will likely be deposed within a year or two. Iran is already fairly Western in outlook, so the reforms there may come even faster. We're at the tail end of the radical Sunni Islamic extremism era that began post-Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, where the O.J.s (Original Jihadis) honed their chops; roughly from early 1990s. We are now in the mopping up phases. ISIS is nearly toast; Hezbollah will be taken care of within a year or two. You will get lone wolf (and maybe small group) attacks for awhile because there are now Jihadist breeding grounds in Europe, but eventually Europe will decide suicide is not the answer and proceed accordingly. So I say we're done with it by 2025 or so. I would guess it's closer to 111, but that's still the highest of any group, and when you get to the higher edges (130+ and 140+) it really becomes out of proportion to the general population. The reason for that is likely a form of what I call "literacy eugenics." Ashkenazi Jews have been what some historians call "service nomads" throughout the last millenium or more (tax collectors, highly skilled tradesmen, physicians, merchants, etc.) More IQ demanding professions than, e.g. farming. (Especially math and verbal; visuospatial less so.) So there was likely a filtering process of those who couldn't hack it and had to leave the group.

vanish.....I don't know how old you are, but as you've noticed, suicide attempts are not helping this situation...also, you don't have to trust your parents. Life is not black and white. The self-construction vs. destruction. There's no vs. You could take things from the construction to destruction, or vice versa and follow either, and they would be equally valid. And you are valid. So you need to live. Another suggestion is, find a "great teacher" and/or "guardian" who doesn't criticize others and has the wisdom to be thankful for correction.....

Egoless, that is a good point. And more generally speaking, what is the point in seeking enlightenment, because the YOU that is seeking the enlightenment is the YOU that is going to die. It's basically suicide, so why does it want that? Or does it? What does it think it will get out of it?

@Leo Gura I am on your side... I am not fighting you why don’t you understand. I want you to collapse the duality once and forever. If you had the biggest realization possible on 5 Meo as you say then why is your experience and perception still dualistic? I am only trying to tell you to be more skeptical towards those drugs... Openmindedness is good but there are lines. You don’t know what side effects these drugs could have on you in a long run. I just want you to be healthy and you take my wake up calls as an assault... I am on your side man! @kieranperez It’s not about what I like. You never know the side effects of the drugs in the long run. Especially such a powerful one as 5 Meo... It may drive you insane. Who studied them long run... there is so little known. And Leo uses psychadelics heavily as far as I know. I just want him to be more skeptical and careful not to hurt himself... Moreover sharing what he sees on drugs on youtube is dangerous imho. Because people who never experienced themselves can just turn it into a belief system which may lead to nihilism. There were some posts about suicide lately. I’m not saying it’s because of Leo... We don’t know what caused delusions... but everyone should be more careful when sharing perspectives... There is a reason why most Enlightened people don’t talk about Truth directly!!!

A distant friend of our family recently took his life due to years of depression. Apparently, he saw his own suicide as the only possible solution. Hypothesis: Wouldn't it make sense to treat highly suicidal people with 5-Meo-DMT? I mean, if they are so depressed that they are going to take their life anyway, why not try to get them back on track with psychedelics?

@SpaceCowboy Psychedelics in general should be highly effective for treating depression. The problem is, people misuse psychedelics because they don't do the research and refuse to follow proper protocol. If one is already on the brink of suicide then trying any solution is better than doing nothing.

It's highly controversial. Non-duality can be misunderstood, especially by suicidal people, resulting in even more damage. My deepest realization to this moment was when driving a car. I was intensly focused on the road and my thoughts had wandered for a second towards metaphysical question, then I saw that all is nothing and never existed. It was very positive, but to be honest, if there was a road accident going to happen then I probably wouldn't fight for my life, I would simply let it be. That's how powerful this realization is. I think it may be the same for depressed people. If they are already on the brink of commiting suicide, then Enlightment experience might be just a green light for that, with very high possibility of killing themselves during the trip. I don't know for sure, I am just guessing. So, maybe not 5-MeO, but low dose of AL-LAD would be more suitable?

You're right! But we should be aware of this behaviour for the future. Threads that suggest suicide shouldn't be exposed here at all. It doesn't give the forum the vibe we like it to have. As you said, his decision had nothing to do with spirituality or this forum. He made his mind up independently of spiritual teaching or actualised.org. Tragic anyway.

Yeah, I though the whole thread was satire, so I participate with my own made up contribution. But unfortunately it wasn't satire I guess. And now he is most likely gone.. We must raise a warning to young people that spirituality can be dangerous if combined with mental illness. We already had John Flores in the past, and now this "Vanish" guy. It's depressing to see how some people think suicide is a way out of duality and into timeless being. That's NOT how it works. That's a shortcut, and shortcuts don't lead anywhere.

He shot himself like 12 hours ago. That's why I think mods should remove his contents since it can inspire others, and that's not good! Please, take responsibility! This is the most alarming thing I've seen here. This community shouldn't be associate with suicide of any kind.

I had a similar experience with Lsd.I just called a friend and not my parents (they would have fucked me in the ass and destroy the trip if they learn I took psychedelics)Your brother was enough I believe.I had take 2 blotters and I was thinking I will suicide or become crazy but when the trip kicked in it was great.These substances are really powerful.Προσεχε

Forms of abuse 1 Gaslighting 2 passive aggressive 3 Codependency 4 domestic violence 5 Emotional Blackmail 6 suicide threats 7 Manipulation 8 curses and ill wishing 9 Guilting 10 Warnings 11 Stalking 12 Using past mistakes of the other as a way to cover up present misconduct or as a defense 13 Lying and Hiding 14 Pathological lying and compulsive lying 15 Use of physical force for restraint 16 Display of physical threat and intimidation 17 Abusive words 18 Discouragement 19 Obsessive Interference 20 Demonization 21 Systematic psychological degradation 22 Character Assassination and Witch Hunt 23 Targeting and Bullying 24 Slander 25 Cyber bullying 26 27 28 29 30

As long you do not suicide is OK.These feelings exist to teach you something.Observe the mechanism of the ego.It is the ego that make you feel that way.Accept everything that happens and feels.Try to isolate yourself from your family if this is possible.When you are getting angry with others your subconscious wins and you are out off control you can not be conscious of your feelings.Its challenging when you live with your family, you can reach a state that you are peaceful though.It is very early to change your feelings 2 weeks is not a lot of time.Continue and you will see results in a month from now maybe 2 or 3 it depends.Keep fighting I wish you the best!!!

Yes, this is a fragmented piece of reality defending itself . So come at me, myself . And I don't give a fuck about your linguistics about enlightenment. Again, if you feel it's time for the EVENTUAL experiencing of another dimension, go ahead Us rest on earth will chill out and try to enjoy the beauties, and not pussy out in trying to improve this reality of consciousness. We will all die eventually anyway. Not saying suicide is wrong, but not either saying its right .

After I have clearly seen the nature of non-duality in my experience, I get to verify the authority. As I said in my previous post, I don't go by authority; I verify if they are saying the truth based on my own experience. I quote people only when I know that they are saying the truth. But this can only happen when the dream is completely transcended. The dream still continues but you are really out of it.. And it is clear you don't have any idea of what I am talking about. So, I can only give you a warning; Don't fool yourself... That is all I can say... All nonsense about interactions with aliens and paranormal stuff is within the dream. There is really no difference between walking on a road and flying in the sky. Both of them happens within the dream of duality. What you have written is exactly how the mind interprets non-duality without transcending duality. For me, most of the posts that you have made shows evidently and clearly that your whole understanding of enlightenment and spiritual path is wrong. Ask any truly enlightened person, his response will be the same as mine. I am seeing a dangerous trend in this forum. It is walking straight on the road to become a delusional cult. Now, Ramana Maharshi can be wrong, Osho can be wrong, Nisargadatta can be wrong, Buddha can be wrong and every genuine guru that I have verified is wrong; But a 6 delusional people (whoever taught you this nonsense) is right! Good luck with that. Again, don't bring the authority bias in. I will be the first person to speak against authority bias; my authority is what I have seen as truth without a single iota of doubt; It is the truth that I have seen after about 25 years of seeking (starting from age 10, in reality) with tremendous suffering, extensive reading, tears, pains, suicide attempts, depression, mental masturbation, yoga etc, you name it! I still haven't seen one person in my life who has gone through whatever I have gone through. I have spent hundreds of sleepless nights when I was 15, staring at the stars, wondering about the existence and trying to make sense of it. I also know that you will interpret what I have said just now from your state of mind... But I have said all I can say. Your thought process clearly reflects that you are still a seeker. So don't fool yourself and wipe out the layer of arrogance that has formed in your mind.. And stop trying to figure out enlightenment by thinking and mental masturbation! That is never going to happen, even after having tons of spiritual experiences.. Because, as soon as the experience is over, you are back in duality, interpreting a memory through the filters of duality.

@Timotheus "Im tempted to commit suicide. Been struggling for like 15 years on that one." much love my friend. it gets better, keep fighting but most importantly keep applying! Many times when I get suicidal, I recognize that its "a thought"

I'm tempted to to drugs again. (Almost 2 years sobriety). And yeah this meat thing, I resonate with that too @Soulbass I'm tempted to commit suicide. Been struggling for like 15 years on that one. I'm tempted to go to jail and meditate my ass off (lots of time). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The very same person who introduced me to Osho´s teachings one time said when we were discussing Ted: "To bad he got dragged in to a nasty cult and ended up killing himself" not knowing she talked about Osho and his people. Lol. Because of Ted,s suicide, Rajneeshpuram is widely and heavily demonized here in Sweden. @MarkusSweden Jepp Svensk.