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@Average Investor I've had depersonalization for over 12 years now. I know that the cause of it (for me at least) was a very intense sense of not-self during a nervous-breakdown. During my breakdown, my mind was searching frantically for a sense of self, but anything my mind grabbed onto evaporated into nothingness. There was an immense sense of doom that emerged from that space, and since then my brain has been permanently wired differently from before. I'd call depersonalization half-baked enlightenment at best, and it's antithesis at worst, since it touches on aspects of enlightenment, but is something else entirely in the way it manifests. I'd say depersonalization is simply a mangled ego, at least from my experience. I say this because depersonalization disorder is typically highly correlated with a shit-load of suffering/anxiety. And yes, I agree, when anxiety is not present, the dissociation is still there, however the suffering is absent so it's not an issue.

If it's not: God (No-self, nothingness, no external environment, no embodiment) --> Everythingness (You literally become everything.) --> Godhead (Singularity, Riding the Ox Backwards) --> To love realm --> embodiment in mind, body, world, universe... then, what is it? It will just be more, and more, and more, and more of everything, of absolute infinity within God. In everythingness (infinity), any part of it, the stories do not end. In other words, how long do you want the stories? It's time to find an effective way to point to God after becoming it. That's the journey. Before that, it's pursuing a profound life purpose. Not so easy to do these things, is it?

@Dylan Page meaning is the reason the universe was created. The nothingness wanted to become something and birthed creation. Ego created the spark to all this and should not be vilified. The need to create something and add meaning is a beautiful thing when exercised through freewill. If you can facilitate something to offer as much meaning in others as much as possible you then have a movement or movements.

@Serotoninluv It is getting complicated, so I will try and make it as simple as possible and cut out the complexity. We are all One. There is but Love in this world, everything else is illusion. It is Love that binds us together and connects us. Hate and mistrust, on the other hand, separates us. When we Love, we unite and become One. In Unity, there is diversity, yet, there is no separation, because we exist in a continuum, all unique in our own way, but we also have points of connection, where we merge into each other and it is no longer possible to tell where one of us starts and the other ends. It is at these connection points that various forms of love manifest, depending on the kind of relationship we have with one another. This could be friendship, neighbourliness, kindness, familial love, romantic love, etc... But, the highest form of love is divine love, which is love for all. All other forms of love are pale reflections of the real thing and in our lives, what we ultimately seek is divine love, expressed through unity consciousness. All throughout our lives, we seek connection and meaning. Even our various addictions are a desperate search to find, meaning, connection and unity. What we ultimately all want is to love and be loved. The forces inherent in the illusory mirror world that we're lost in pull us away from each other. Our memory of our divine nature and what it means to be ONE is what draws us closer together. When we serve the forces of Unity and Love, we move the whole world closer together to its ultimate source. Fear of unity and the insecurities that come with it are what fuel hate and separation. Our ultimate destiny is to regain unity consciousness and to reintegrate our souls into a greater whole, from which we consciously separate ourselves every waking moment of our lives, even in our sleep and as reincarnation proves, even in our death. We are consciously resisting drifting back into unity by constantly building and maintaining barriers between us and others. Reversing that requires letting go and not doing, in other words, stopping the conscious and constant sabotage of our own happiness and bliss. When we let go of the ego, our fears, insecurities, hatred and all other separational emotions and consciousness vehicles, that is when the bliss of infinity and nothingness, of unbound love and unadulterated joy becomes our reality. Because at this moment, we are filled with light, some refer to this re-emergence of unity consciousness as enlightenment.

I can relate to your problem. I think it's normal to disassociate with the body and mind after a big experience. When your an ego chasing enlightenment you take on a lot of spiritual conditioning in the process. This is a trap I found myself in , and I think many people get stuck in for a while. It's a spiritual ego. An ego that thinks it knows. Either it takes on a superior act (the I know and you dont) or It takes on the existential dread act (the everything is meaningless and nothingness and hopeless, but it's own interpretations of these words). I have found myself in both of these traps multiple times before. The book by adyashanti "the end of your world" talks about this. I saw a video by a guy named Matt Kahn the other day and he really opened my eyes to something. He said "it's okay to have an ego," omg you're not allowed to say that right? But just feel into it. Doesn't it feel better to just embrace that you might have an ego, and that you inhabit a body? It's easy to get stuck in between the world and the "spiritual realms" or whatever, this might ground you a little. ?

From the one arise the many, If you contemplate long enough you will see that there is no such thing as true nothingness. Absence is the fullness of infinity showing a domain that inherently has a specific value which is differentiable from whatever is being observed as separate. So we grow up with this simple system of counting objects or concepts that are perceived as absolute entities and when we say something has a value of 0 it means nothing is existing there. The idea that 0 is the non-existence of things is what I want to address. If we see through contemplation that nothingness does not exist then viewing 0 as a complete wholeness of infinity would be a better reflection of what the symbol means. Zero / 0 is the complete oneness of infinity. When I think of this I really feel more connected and simple counting consequently also gets a new meaning. Instead of viewing 0 as an empty set, 0 is now infinity and the fullest set of them all. Then when you count any natural number you are separating 0 (unity/oneness) into fragmented sub-sets from the super-set infinity. If you count 2 apples, this basically means you subtract infinity's presence with the two conceptual labels you put onto these two apple entities and create a relativistic notion of separation. I think it's a simple idea but has profound implications of how we view the world of things. Desire to have zero things is to feel free in infinity as everything is already fully present.

I have had only one meeting with an "enlightened being." It was very nice and we could look into each others eyes and dissolve into nothingness together. The meeting brought clarity and a sense of healing, but not enlightenment. Nobody can give you enlightenment, so be nobody.

Chill bro don't worry about it. Having a mind is overrated. Embrace The Everpresent Now. Let the nothingness engulf you until you disappear.

I just wanted to tell you thank you thank you thank you my brother for all u do... this last what is death video is incredible and in my opinion your absolute highest teaching.(of course all your material is the highest what else could it be ?) I wanted to mention something I thought sounded cool... If you take your two sides to the same coin saying and flick it into a perfect circle that's nonduality. As humans we are walking talking contradictions. To speak it is false, to be silent is truth and vice versa and everything in between. Spiral Wizardry, awakeness as awakeness, between nothing and everything is, we are all saying the same thing we just think we describe it differently, pregnant nothingness, to dissolve the false self is to become everything and nothing(coin flick), stage yellow beerbonging turquoise hehe(I know you'll like that one). Don't forget to jump back in and play some Divine game of Lila every now and then. There's no falling back asleep on this one so it's cool to dabble back in duality here n there or not. I'm sure you already know that haha. My only question is will you party with me at Burning Man when I retire in 2022 from the Navy. I want to try some of this hi Consciousness DMT juice you guys all talk about haha. Can we make this happen? Much respect Joy love peace life reality consciousness I hope it is all bestowed upon you my brother. Thank you for your work and I apologize for ever disrespecting you in anyway love love love. Let's walk each other home ❤ He talks a little about your dying tree... it's all just one living organism ❤

Hi love, I am permanently awakened after a two-day ayahuasca retreat. Here is the report of the retreat. Before the ceremony, I had no intentions, desires, or expectations, just beingness. First ceremony: I became an absolute infinity. The entire existence. All the experiences, all the dimensions. The infinite consciousness. All is one. All is love. All the pleasure and pain, all the senses and emotions. Infinity of infinity. Total surrendering and beingness. The entire existence is just the imaginary manifestation of our infinite love. Time is love's infinite awareness of itself. I am all of you, and all of it is a song that's sang by the entire existence, and it is infinite love and beauty. The knowing of the true self is permanently present. Second ceremony: I became so infinite that I became absolute nothingness and god. The consciousness expands infinitely and beyond. All is one, all is whole, all is love. I am. I love. Just love, and nothing else. Just being, and the entire existence. I purged my entire existence into infinite love and merged into one. The infinite love radiance from everything and everywhere. Life is absolutely clear, it is absolute love. The total surrendering of existence. Enlightenment. The beingness of the absolute is permanent. No more questions or seeking, just absolute beingness. Nirvana. I love you all! Just love, just live, just be.

You already are nothingness, but if you mean Awaken from the dream, everything has been laid out by Leo in his videos.

So What is a way to going back to nothingness ?

depletion from any major chemicals will create imbalance. thanks for your answer. I don't really use words to point to my work, I practice daily now, from 1 hour to more, everyday. no machinery, or anything. I don't even follow any rules. legs laying down, head on the chair, and I can enter deep state of nothingness by just being there. I don't appreciate the words of others that describe most of the time nothing to my experience. most of mental depression comes from an identification with thoughts ( as being the thought ) deep meditation turned on easy for me after doing mushroom / macro / micro and some drop of LSD, I was on acid for like 2 weeks everyday. then I got backslash, and then I started to have a sense of "how to meditate" creating a deep space within myself until I disapear entirely ( do nothing meditation ) but sometimes I use "focus" when I start to wander about any thought, I keep looking on the breath, then I start to forget looking for the breath. I can almost induce state of egodeathness by sitting more than 10 minutes. It's not as strong as psychedelics though. My goal is clearly to change my state of permanent awareness radically from what I m aware of today. Maybe reach the potential of psychedelics without any; And I try to always enter in deep states until I feel that my brain melt away

You're focusing on the words, God is nothingness, the absolute, emptiness etc, it's another way of phrasing it, but of course it has baggage if you come from a religious background.

@Serotoninluv In the same way I can say the word “Universe” which is a descriptive word to describe everything, the 10th dimension in the video above is described as “imagine all the possible branches for all the possible timelines of all the possible universes” I’m literally just saying if that is the case, could it not be an interchangeable word with God/Oneness/InfiniteAwareness and such like... and that one could argue that certain experiences from psychedelics (and other mystical experiences) could be “giving you access to the 10th dimension” if you like; not as a literal location in Space that you enter. Or to simplify it even more, does the description of the 10th dimension not sound akin to the experience of Oneness, being infinite, nothingness, God, etc...? Leo - “there cannot be a limit to any limit within reality”

"Nobody can enter the gateless gate so be nobody" "Between nothing and everything is" "The biggest obstacle to Discovery is not ignorance, it's the illusion of knowledge" "The Great Way it's not difficult for those who have no preferences" " it is what it is" "Let go" " I am that I am" "Be still and know that I am God" "Nothing real can be threatened nothing unreal exists herein lies the peace of God" " We are all saying the same thing we just think we describe it differently" " take the middle path" " Walk The Razor's Edge" " The only thing to fear is fear itself" " Become nobody to be everything" " happiness is a choice" "The pathless path" " The gateless gate" " the way less way" "The Road Less Traveled" "There are only two choices in life the choice of Love or fear but what is all-encompassing can have no opposites" "I am" "Just be" "pregnant nothingness" ❤

As I have observed so far, the most common way is to ask who is aware of the thoughts and desires coming up and finally you find out that noone and nothing is aware and therefore there is no doer and no free will. Is it like this though? Also what else can be done to come the conclusion that we dont act on a free will but are merely experiencing being in a magical and mysterious way that god and this nothingness is directing for everybody and everythibg

Second and third order structures are only seeming separate objects, like trees and rocks which are second order structures and money and calendar time which are third order structures. In reality all structures are interconnected in an immensely complicate wholeness. That's why structures that the ego has a lot of attachment to, e.g. personal money, are very heavy to deal with. I feel that especially money and calendar time are causing huge tensions in my body and mind, something I have discovered through inner body awareness practice. The key to remove those burdens is mentioned in ACIM: "1. Here is the answer to every problem that will confront you, today and tomorrow and throughout time. In this world, you believe you are sustained by everything but God. Your faith is placed in the most trivial and insane symbols; pills, money, “protective” clothing, influence, prestige, being liked, knowing the “right” people, and an endless list of forms of nothingness that you endow with magical powers." - https://acim.org/workbook/lesson-50/ "God" to me means the totality of life. The ego separates things without understanding that nothing can be truly separate. This is the cause of the heavy tensions in body and mind. "2. All these things are your replacements for the Love of God. All these things are cherished to ensure a body identification. They are songs of praise to the ego. Do not put your faith in the worthless. It will not sustain you. 3. Only the Love of God will protect you in all circumstances. It will lift you out of every trial, and raise you high above all the perceived dangers of this world into a climate of perfect peace and safety. It will transport you into a state of mind that nothing can threaten, nothing can disturb, and where nothing can intrude upon the eternal calm of the Son of God. 4. Put not your faith in illusions. They will fail you. Put all your faith in the Love of God within you; eternal, changeless and for­ever unfailing. This is the answer to whatever confronts you to­day. Through the Love of God within you, you can resolve all seeming difficulties without effort and in sure confidence. Tell yourself this often today. It is a declaration of release from the belief in idols. It is your acknowledgment of the truth about yourself."

Its pregnant nothingness It's the center of the Spiral It's zero and it's Infinity It's nothing and everything It's pure potential IT IS YOU... SURPRISE!!!

First, instead of trying to conceptualize nothingness, try to contemplate somethingness and what it means for something to be something. We go throughout our lives sort of tacitly assuming that we understand what it means for something to exist as a thing. But seriously think about that. What does it mean for something to be something? Is that even a coherent notion? Notice that no matter what kind of answer you might try to give to this question, you will always run into an infinite regress. No matter what label you want to slap onto an apparent surface when trying to describe the substance of reality, you will get no closer to actually “knowing” what the substance of reality is. For example, look at any object in your surroundings and ask “What is the ultimate substance of this object?” Well it’s made out of atoms, right? But of course, in the face of this explanation, you can simply ask “Okay and what exactly are atoms?” Well, they are made out of an electron orbiting a nucleus of protons and neutrons. “What are those made of?” Weell, they’re made out of dual particles called Quarks. “And what are those?” Weeellll they’re made out probably even smaller fundamental particles. “Aaaannd what are those made of?” Weeeeelllllllll let’s just assume that string theory is true and say that they’re ultimately made of vibrating strings of energy. And with this, you might be tempted to think that that’s it. That’s the ultimate substance of the object you’re questioning. But notice, all these labels that you slapped onto all these apparent surfaces did not get you any closer to actually “Knowing” anything about the true substance of that object. Because you can just ask again. “What is energy?” And even if you can get further down than that and say that energy is made out of X. You can just ask again, “What grounds X?” And this will go on ad infinitum. No matter what ground you propose for an apparent surface, you can just always ask “What grounds that?” And this can never end, even in principle as long as you are taking a rationalist reductionist approach to this question. Even if you could somehow definitively prove that it bottomed out somewhere, you still couldn’t find an actual reason for that bottom. Because to find a reason would be to reduce it even further down, which is exactly what scientists don’t want to be able to do. At some point, you’re just going to have to say, “It just is.” And this is tantamount to saying that reality has no reason for it’s existence, which is tantamount to saying that reality is made out of nothing at all. Now the question becomes, “If reality is made out of nothing at all, then why does there appear to be something here? This is a paradox! You know what else is a paradox? The concept of... infinity. Infinity and paradox are one in the same. So to say that reality is a paradox, is to say that reality is infinite. So reality is simply Infinity. And so the reason why there appears to be something here, is because infinity requires that all possibilities, finities and forms manifest and be experienced within itself, even though the ultimate substance of those forms has to be nothingness. So the way you can think about reality, is that it is nothingness inverted into everythingness through the strange loop that is consciousness.

You can't understand nothingness because you are it. You can only know it after you realize that. Beingness will lead you there.

@GabeN Nothingness hides in plain sight. It is all around you. It is inescapable.

@GabeN I’d suggest framing the experience of being you as a human up as a ‘your bubble’ of experience and your vibrational offering, getting it sound & high on the emotional scale. On a future trip, you might find yourself, in defiance of what is possible, outside this “bubble”...in, and more accurately as, nothingness. Not sure if this adds sense or takes away by adding more to concept, but that is a step to collective consciousness, which also is only experiential.

@GabeN Nothingness is not an idea. You will never understand it in the way you're trying to. Only awakening. No other way. Any attempt you make at trying to understand Nothingness takes you further away from it. Just stop and sit in silence. Look at your hand. Do not talk. Do not think. Do not move. Do not try to figure it out. Do not ask questions.

Think of nothingness being identical to something-ness. God is nothing, meaning it has no defined boundaries, but yet it is still everything, meaning it is a shapeshifter with no set form, so it makes up all form. So that something, or form, really is nothing, its just an appearance, an illusion.