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@Hansu Oh no! Sorry to hear. What comes to mind from experience is weight, muscle to fat percentage, and balance. Bit of a shotgun approach, but hopefully something clicks or is useful. Short term... You mentioned the plank on the bed helped. Maybe a maximum firmness mattress, if you don’t already have one. Daily exercise is key imo. A few things to consider. During, and for a bit after weight loss, many small muscles are adjusting to the change in weight & how it’s distributed, specifically the back, as it was holding the extra weight of the front. This is a good thing, and it plays self out. One thing however to consider... if exercise involves weights / any strength training, you want evenly spread distribution. I had a major lower back pain issue for years, even though I was at a good weight and fit. I found that I had neglected the muscles area lowest on the back. Never even thought of it. I started doing a pretty simple exercise where I’m basically, from a standing point, lifting each leg up behind me. Like the opposite of a kick motion, but slowly. I used the resistance of about 10 lbs at first on a bow flex. You can google this, it can be done without weights, and lying on your stomach too. After 1 - 2 weeks, the pain was completely gone, and that was maybe 5 years ago or so. Never came back. So if you’re getting fit, make sure there’s a daily exercise that targets the area of pain. Also have a bone spur in my neck, got a neck weight thingy, and it fixed that too. It’s not perfect, but there’s no pain anymore. I definitely recommend bow flex. They’re simple and last, and old models which are great, can be found very cheap on EBay etc. Also, when exercise is done daily, the chemistry of the body changes. @Michael569 would know the details here...but endorphins, etc from exercising in the morning sure do seem to reduce pain all day. It also improves mood & outlook, which also (I believe) psychosomatically have a positive effect. If the pain is too much to exercise, a short term solution might be a steroid shot, with the exercise / fitness being the longer term plan. Seeing a chiropractor can help on a few levels. The manipulation overtime can significantly realign and bring relief. Also, if you find a good one, just seeing the X-ray, listening to their explanation etc, Brings a lot of finite awareness to the situation, and sometimes I think the biggest piece is just the going and doing something about it. The body likes that, so to speak, and response in kind with healing. A self-love fest. I would do some research on an anti-inflammatory diet for sure. Ime, sugar, bread, and any carbonated drinks just blew it up, and it would take days to get back to good. Take a while to get off such roller coasters but it’s worthwhile. The right nutrients, and eating without those foods, allows the body to divert energy to strength & healing, as it is not having to compensate for what is really imo not actually ‘food’ (sugar, bread, etc) The time of day that you eat could also play a huge role. I know it can be difficult, but try not eating anything after 8...or better yet 7. It might take a few days for the body to adjust to that but it can be a game changer. This could also aid in sleeping through the night, in addition to cutting caffeine off by maybe 2pm. This is ‘out there’ for some...but have you tried telling your subconscious you want this? I’ve seen this be very effective. Simply talking to yourself basically, and requesting the subconscious bring healing to the disc, and that the past is changed in kind. Longer term... Go get two or three sessions before you assess it. Then try out that reiki class. Reiki 1 is healing yourself. Powerful stuff. Reiki is arguably the most under-appreciated, underrated practice imo. The release of things emotionally / psychologically benefits the body, allowing more efficient natural healing. We all hold onto a lot, and get used to it, and don’t realize we are. We’re so naturally adaptive it’s nuts. It takes energy to do that though, and likewise, we adjust and don’t realize low bodily energy has this at it’s root. Reiki 2 is about healing others. This is the real mind blowing stuff. Love in action. Love & bliss through your body would be one heck of a change of pace, and you’d be without the pain. I’d think of it as when you give your self & time for the love & healing of another, as the universe would have it, you are filled with love & healing. But, and I know it’s cliche...the thought about reiki is nothing like the experience of taking the 2 classes. There is also Letting go, and moving awareness. Many people find a ‘clearing’ of specific pains, by tuning into the awareness in the body, right where the pains at, and ‘moving’ the pain to another location. It’s a risky thing to say, but, the pain isn’t really from the location it seems like it is, it is all mind. “Loosening up” the relationship between the mind which is where the pain is, and the body where the mind “believes” it to be, can reduce the pain. Meditation of course, specifically breathing & filling the body with the breath, as well as walking meditation can be very helpful. There’s a bunch in my signature link. Also, Yoga, holding positions and breathing, oxygenates & strengthens the muscle which balance the body, helping muscles acclimate to weight loss muscle / balance shifting. I don’t want to assume, so...have you went to the dr’s? Ideally a wholistic one. Again, the hearing, doing, loving your body, taking the time to go, as well as what the doctor recommends diet & weight wise could be helpful. The difference in pain and energy at a high weight compared to a middle weight, in terms of the median ‘healthy’ weights dr’s use as a reference is very significant. And then the difference in going from a middle weight, to the ‘ideal healthy’ weight (example 6’ tall male, 150 - 155 lbs - don’t quote me on that) can be a huge difference. There is a certain carefree-healing-body zone at the most ideal weight. 5 lbs more, and we’re back at the middle weight, with the body spending energy that was diverted to healing. Hope something helps here. ??

This is not about going from the depressed life story to 5-meo God like bliss, from zero to hero. This is not about playing 'Who is right' game, feeling fear. This is about doing the smallest possible step which feels good. Step by step, until you are loving. This is about asking and then letting go, enjoying the moment. This is about your intuition, choosing the first impulse, before rational mind comes and says 'no'. This is about being authentic, feeling love. ?

Do you do Mahamundra? Nothing creates more silence and relaxation than that as a preparation in my opinion. Especially so once you get to the point that you can do each rep comfortably in the 1-2 minute breath hold range. All the co2 from doing 9-12 moderate breath holds combined with the stretching just create massive amounts of bliss and relaxation.

I have grown up in a household with parents who are both fine artists. My early childhood was just drawing, I never could wrap my head around video games, nor did my parents buy me any, and I would always have access to notepads, pens and paints, so that was what I did. As a result of this, I have always been a talented illustrator and painter. It comes very naturally to me, and I am able to fuse imagery. Yet this is not my bliss per se, but my talent for imagery extends to photography, film which I feel like I could explore as an outlet. I was always intrigued by spirituality and personal development from the age of 15, when I joined a small sangha, I was also passionate about philosophy which I valued over art due to language's ability to vividly portray, to convey a clear message and not a metaphoric one. Starting to watch actualized.org conveyed that to me, I love this no-bullshit approach to conveying a message. But on the other hand, I love nature so much, I deeply value simple observation; on account of this and my artistic strength I am now seriously considering becoming a nature photographer. I think that telling the world explicitly how they could change their life is more effective than showing them metaphorically. How do you think art services the world?

@Dragonfly210 Sorry you're going through such tough stuff. I'm sure no one has been through exactly what you're going through, but I'd also bet tons of people here have been through some form of dark night like you. I've definitely gone through some tough periods. Maybe you need to renegotiate or change some relationships in your life. Sometimes the old has to fall apart to make room for the new, whether that's a new way of thinking, new people in your life or a new way of relating to yourself. Regardless, sounds like a very good idea to see a therapist like you are. That'll keep you grounded and help you be practical while providing an outlet to talk through what you need to. I'm limited in how much I can help over an internet forum like this, but keep in mind that everything changes. Your level of social awkwardness will ebb and flow. How much bliss you are in touch with will ebb and flow. However bad it seems, it isn't permanent. Hang in there

Hello everyone! I went through an awakening at the beginning of the year. Had a cancer scared then suddenly a moment of bliss came in and I finally understood what it means to fully love myself. I truly felt that love in my heart. I miss it! Unfortunately, the feeling of bliss slowly dissipated. Started taking action and learning how to love myself and exploring my spiritual gifts that I've denied for so long. Since then, everything has changed. I started seeing people 'narcissist' for who they really care. I realized I need reciprocity in my relationships. I'm unable to relate to people around me anymore. Now, I'm in this awkward place. It's like all the issues and pain I have never dealt with is coming back to haunt me now. I feel like I'm going through the dark night of the soul? I'm not sure what I'm going through. I hired a therapist just to make sure I'm taking care of myself. I'm finding that as if I don't know who I am anymore.... A part of me knows that I'm being shown my ego for a reason. Possibly, so then I make the necessary changes in my life. I had a sales background and socializing would be a strength for me and now it's not. I am more socially awkward than anything... This is only one example as to what I'm going through. It as also been a lonely journey for me. Feeling lost. Has anyone gone through this can help shed some light? Maybe share your experience? Anything would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

This concentration stuff reminds me my childhood. I was in a peaceful, blissful state. I was inclining my mind on positive and entering bliss. I had total trust in the existence. I was not comparing myself to anybody. Life was a miracle for me.

Doing vipassana is great but dry insight approach can create a lot of negative emotions and issues even after legit awakenings. Look at Daniel Ingram and his emphasis on dark night of the soul. I also know people that experience a lot issues integrating the insights into emptiness and no-self in the dry insight approach. That doesn't mean samatha vipassana styles like TMI doesn't lead to integration issues with these insights. Awakening has a price of admission either way. But samatha masters go through the progression of insight in a more pleasurable and gentler way. From personal experience, my emotional health is close to awakening levels as Samatha factors are getting more ingrained in the nervous system. Effortless access to jhana basically means activating anti-depressant levels of pleasure in the mind at will and maintaining that with contentment on top of that from waking up to going to bed. Initially that sort of a thing can be effortless, but then a lot of hardcore mindfulness is needed to maintain that as months go by. I don't want to say that this is advanced stuff but this sort of emotional mastery is not too common at the initial stages of awakening (stream entry etc.) Samatha mastery is not to be downplayed. Craving can reduce very radically. A stage 10 TMI master can actually be regarded as awake on a skill-based level. Not actual insight wise but in terms of the skills you need for awakening, it just gives you incredible levels of consciousness on demand consistently. But you are not completely free of suffering until there is no self so that is why vipassana is essential. Samatha skills by themselves only go so far. You need to investigate and go deeper with those skills as a foundation. Now, how will a samatha master react to the truth of no-self when it arises as an insight? Depression and meaningless? Initially, yes. This is a traumatic experience that undermines all of your egoic agendas. The entirety of your life dissolves into meaningless. But you integrate the no-self deeper and get to bliss faster if you are Samatha master already. What happens as a dry insight meditators, noting sensations without stable attention and sufficient awareness? You still get to the insight into no self, but you get stuck in the meaningless and negative emotional sensations. Then you need to deal with dark night sort of issues for a while until awareness gets to sufficient levels. Then you get to bliss. But at that point you master samatha. So the question is, will you do the work now and master samatha or do it after the traumatic insight into no-self, suffering , impermanence and emptiness,? The safest and the most pleasurable path is to do the samatha mastery first. It is harder and requires more discipline initially but it is worth it. I understand dry insight meditators doing noting practices and self enquiry all the time but I'm seeing a lot of people experiencing issues integrating insight into daily life. So I recommend samatha mastery strongly to everyone. And to add the vipassana component, I think TMI is a great manual. It integrates all this and does so in a scientific but non-materialistic way.

@zeroISinfinity I haven't felt the love yet. I feel like i understand all this stuff intellectually but my direct experience isn't anything like you describe yours. Also, i was reading your rold journal about not helping bliss chasers and people pursuing enlightenment for egoic reasons. because they will cause suffering if they don't fully understand god. These people, like me, will cause WAY MORE suffering without enlightenment. Bliss chaser, prisoner, it doesn't matter who. Enlightenment is the best case for me, you, and everyone and everything. There are no reasons to not help someone pursue enlightenment. But i do get your point about you can't do it from egoic reasons. If I want to be enlightened for my own sake and my own desires I think it's going to take a lot long then if i find a different motivation.

@ardacigin You have no clue what my practice is like I practiced for one month of nonstop vipassana in a monastic setting in Nepal before this retreat. I understand discipline and "applying the techniques properly." And just because I rated the growth as lower than psychedelic growth doesn't mean it wasn't substantial. I spent hours in bliss fully present with every footstep, loving every action and moment. I saw some wild stuff manifest in the mind and body. Yet, one ayahuasca retreat I did was like 10 years of therapy in one weekend, and I have to call that more impactful (as of now). There are poems from the first enlightened nuns which talk about practicing for YEARS with little sign of awakening, and then finally getting it one day. Progress and growth aren't linear. And if you want to develop true equanimity, that means learning to be equanimous while actually struggling in meditation practice. You are correct about the importance of discipline, but should be careful assuming that discipline and ease are opposites. You need some ease for your heart to actually be in these practices. My answer should not inform your decision. Every person, trip and meditative roadmap is different. I started with 3g of mushrooms, so this is what I was referring to. I'd recommend less on the first time.

Because the scale was tipped to perception & thinking, to compensate for a lack of feeling. Perception & feeling & no mind = bliss.

This “ego” doesn’t get anything out of meditation, meditation gets the ego out. The doer doesn’t care much for the stopping of it’s doing. Effortless living, your life’s dream unfolding wonderfully, emotional mastery, no mind, non reaction, bliss...the ego see’s this stuff coming a mile away. “Why would I meditate”. Dream board’s great for realizing preferences far more worthwhile, inspiring, & satisfying than a story on a screen. This actual story on a screen is a pinch superior imo. This story you’re actually creating.

Makyō The term makyō is a Zen term that means “ghost cave” or “devil’s cave.” It is a figurative reference to the kind of self-delusion that results from clinging to an experience and making a conceptual “nest” out of it for oneself. Makyō is essentially synonymous with illusion, but especially in reference to experiences that can occur within meditation practice. In Philip Kapleau's The Three Pillars of Zen, Hakuun Yasutani explained the term as the combination of ma meaning devil and kyo meaning the objective world. This character for “devil” can also refer to Mara, the Buddhist “tempter” figure; and the character kyo can mean simply region, condition or place. Makyō refers to the hallucinations and perceptual distortions that can arise during the course of meditation and can be mistaken by the practitioner as "seeing the true nature" or kenshō. Zen masters warn their meditating students to ignore sensory distortions. These can occur in the form of visions and perceptual distortions, but they can also be experiences of blank, trance-like absorption states. In the Zen school, it is understood that neither category of experience – however fascinating they may be – is a true and final enlightenment. Contemplative literature contains numerous descriptions of the perceptual distortion produced by meditation. It is characterized in some schools as "going to the movies," a sign of spiritual intensity but a phenomenon that is considered distinctly inferior to the clear insight of settled practice. In some Hindu schools it is regarded as a product of the sukshma sharira, or "experience body," in its unstable state, and in that respect is seen to be another form of maya, which is the illusory nature of the world as apprehended by ordinary consciousness. Tibetan contemplative literature uses the parallel term nyam, which fall into three categories, usually listed as clarity, bliss, and non-conceptuality. Many types of meditation phenomena can be classed under this rubric, and are generally tied to the reorganization of the body's subtle energies that can occur in meditation.

After a week or so in i start to feel like an AVATAR. As if i am existing in a higher dimensional plane and feel the perfection and purity in everything. Bliss! I have done 24 hour dry fasting naturally many times, i love being out in nature, i rarely eat and i feel very blissful.

I will begin to deconstruct me. I have tried for so long to make myself happy and fulfilled. I tried. But today I give up. When i meditate on the present moment there is only presence. I am gone for moments at a time. But for some reason i keep coming back. So i need to deconstruct myself until there is nothing to get back. This where i'm at in my journey in a basic summary: 1. Wake up. I am not satisfied with life. I need to do stuff that will bring me happiness. Procrastinate all day until I meditate or do yoga. 2. Do meditation and connect with the present. No thinking. Just being. But ego always comes back. Present moment isn't enough or ego is too big. 3. Do a bunch of me stuff, procrastinate, go on forum trying to seek bliss and happiness for me, meditate for me, and then go to sleep. I have just read a bunch of post's from @zeroISinfinity and @Nahm, and have gone through their history of when i asked so many questions ask a seeker. All the problems were with me. Time to let myself go. If i operate and act from me and for me then i am fucked. If i operate and act from source/god/love then i can't lose. Sometimes i feel like doing stuff that i know is good but I feel is too much, but that's ok I will just be patient and wait for another idea from god.

I remember and I will make this short, that I saw God from my window appering as this immensly bright light, everything around this light were happy to see it, I remember becoming conscious of how specificaly the trees became happy. My family saw it too, well not really, but in another dimension they saw the light. Suddenly, in an instant, it disappeared and everything came to normal. I thought my family saw God, but they just looked at me and asked "What is it?". They were clueless and in shock and bliss I said "Did you see God?" And they said no. Which makes me think now, that it's indeed possible that we are within God's imagination. The way everything in an instant was thrown into this dimension even my family, then how it just instantly dissapeared, leaving only me knowing of what just happened.

i feel this strange thing right now i love myself, i don't need anything, i just feel bliss about everything and nothing really bothers me and at this moment i feel like i want to start getting money, meeting more women and starting my own purpose it's paradoxical and i don't get it, did anyone went through this kind of "phase"? i love myself and i don't need anything soooo let's fucking get everything i can, wtf????

5-MEO-DMT Bufo AlvariusTrip Report ROA: Smoking Dosage: 93 mgs After many months of failed attempts at experimenting with plugging 5-MeO at home. And many more months trying to find a professional facilitator close to me, and many more months getting our schedules to align, I finally got to do my very first Bufo 5-MeO ceremony this weekend. He was decades experienced, and had me stay at his home, where we did the ceremony. As it was raining up at the property up in the mountains where he usually holds the ceremonies. I was pretty calm leading up to the ceremony, until he said it was time. There were 3 of us there for ceremony. He would take us up to a room one at a time, for about an hour each. We debated who would go first, I requested I go first, as waiting and listening to what happened for someone else, would just make me more nervous. As it finally came time, I was really nervous. Him and his female partner sat with me in a circle and did deep breathing with me until I was calm and ready. He asked me if I wanted to start out with a low dose, or jump right into a high dose. I told him I am prone to panic attacks when I have time to resist the effects. So he suggested a high dose. I didn’t ask or want to know what he loaded. He later afterwards told me it was 93mgs. Not sure how much that translates to synthetic 5-MeO dosage. He explained to me how it was going to work. He would hold the pipe. I was to slowly draw in, until my lungs were full, as he counted to 10. Then as I lay back he would count back from 10, as I hold it in. I never made it to the pillow, and I only heard the count of 8 before I was gone. It is hard to describe what came next. It was indescribable unimaginable pure nightmarish Terror. There was no concept of who I was or what anything was. I was obliterated. But at the same time my ‘soul’ was being ripped apart in an endless cycle, over and over. There was zero possibility of resistance or surrender, it just was what it was and far too powerful to try to control. It was pure torture. Even though I was gone, I could tell I was screaming the loudest high pitch scream possible. This seemed like it lasted for only a few seconds. Coming back, I didn’t know who I was, where I was, who the people in the room were, for about a minute. Then I came to pretty fast, within another minute. There was an instant feeling of sadness. I knew right away that the ceremony was a failure. No experience being God, no infinity, no experiencing infinite realities, no insights into the nature of reality, no death (at least I don’t think, unless death is endless torture), no infinite love, no bliss, no insights, no epiphanies, no alleviation of suffering/depression/anxiety. I started to cry as all of it was for nothing. I felt exactly the same as I did before the trip. The facilitators told me I had been screaming for many minutes. Then was saying “Oh Shit!!!” over and over again as I crawled around the room thrashing about. They asked me if I wanted to do another dose, I said no. This was traumatizing enough, wouldn’t want to go through that again, even if there was a chance of a blissful God breakthrough. I was perfectly normal and fine within a few more minutes. They offered for me to go into a dark room to process, but I said that was unnecessary. I popped downstairs, and cheerfully said “hey guys!”. The two guys waiting for their turn looked traumatized. They said they wished they had gone first now, as they heard all the screaming and it made them all that much more nervous to go next. I felt bad about that. They asked me how it went for me, and I told them I would tell them later, as I didn't want to influence their journey. All in all, it felt like the trip had never even really happened. There was a few seconds of infinite torture and unimaginable terror, then nothing. So my trip only seemed to last a few seconds. I thought, if I knew nothing about Nonduality teachings, what was possible, or anything about 5-MeO, and a friend just invited me to participate in the ceremony, I probably would have angrily bitched him out for the horrible experience, with zero benefits (other than the awesome people who I shared it with). Oh well, I guess I have to get even more serious about my spiritual journey and try try try again. I’m not sharing this to discourage anyone. I’m not even discouraged. From what I hear, every trip can be different.

Some synonyms Well being Prosperity Progress Flourishing Essence Presence Protection Security Shelter Elysium Bliss Composure Equanimity Equilibrium Ataraxy Sang froid Expand Abound Thrive Vigor Wholeness Strength Maturity Eudemonia Eudaimonia Healthfulness Salubrity Comfort Eupepsia Feel good oasis Affluence Sanity Integrity Safety Prosperousness Robustness Luxury Enrichment Fitness Welfare Positive functioning

I look into your eyes I look into your eyes and see your face in pain For you are dying form the joy of seeing god Oh my god You said and paused in silence As if you stoped existing for a moment But your beautiful eyes reflected the whole existence With me and everything in it As you suffer from divine bliss I see the light in your eyes and felt the love that killed my sense of being apart I know who I see and who sees me I take a deep breath and held it in Feeling your energy flowing up into the void above my head Oh god Oh love We fell into silence not knowing what time is Dying and being alive Together and apart Loving each other for now and more So before you close your eyes Let me be with you for a little more In one moment of eternity We shall be here in bliss Together

You are not even a human being. You just are a point of awareness, coextensive with time and space and beyond both, the ultimate cause, itself uncaused. If you ask me: ‘Who are you?’ My answer would be: ‘Nothing in particular. Yet I am. • That which makes you think that you are a human is not human. It is but a dimensionless point of consciousness, a conscious nothing; all you can say about yourself is: ‘I am.’ You are pure being — awareness — bliss. To realise that is the end of all seeking. You come to it when you see all you think yourself to be as mere imagination and stand aloof in pure awareness of the transient as transient, imaginary as imaginary, unreal as unreal. It is not at all difficult, but detachment is needed. It is the clinging to the false that makes the true so difficult to see. Once you understand that the false needs time and what needs time is false, you are nearer the Reality, which is timeless, ever in the now. Eternity in time is mere repetitiveness, like the movement of a clock. It flows from the past into the future endlessly, an empty perpetuity. Reality is what makes the present so vital, so different from the past and future, which are merely mental. If you need time to achieve something, it must be false. The real is always with you; you need not wait to be what you are. Only you must not allow your mind to go out of yourself in search. When you want something, ask yourself: do I really need it? and if the answer is no, then just drop it. Nisargadatta Maharaj

Welcome to spirituality! You're on your journey to heavenly bliss. So earthly bliss no longer seems important. I'm going through the same. I want liberation and freedom from the rules of planet earth. Spirituality is a golden dream. The rays of enlightenment touch the soul and transform the mind into an Astral body that travels through the spiritual maze of beauty and captivity. All splendor. All I need is my own company and maybe a cat. But I feel thrilled to experience the vastness of the universe, the beauty of the cosmos the infinite love from the universe filling into my body and soul and earthly entities now look so little so small, everything looks disinteresting and sometimes repugnant. It all is a distraction from the highest achievement of the soul. A thorn in the path. But the real bliss is from the universe. A godsend.

"Imagine that all around your body is an invisible field of peace and bliss. Try and surrender to that by giving in. Imagine you are expanding out of your skin to merge with that field. The obstacle will be the thoughts in your head trying to bring you back in your body. Whenever that happens, just kill the thought from the get go (clear your head) and resume. The intensity of your desire will determine your chance of success." Is this the practice you did until enlightment happened? Is this the same as feeling the sense IAM?

Sure it's a modern model used to convey the concept of infinity. In the scriptures they like to say "there is a universe in each atom, and in the atoms of that universe still more universes". It's the same concept. Well it's true, but that said, having a conceptual understanding is not the same thing as realizing it directly. For the latter case, the model is useless. In other words, I would not say that this model represents enlightenment in any meaningful or accurate way. Thank you 1. Becoming aware of consciousness directly and in the moment is the best approach. The two seemingly separate approaches you mentioned are really one and the same, they are just worded differently. When you become aware of consciousness, that results in surrender or integration (again these are the same). Focus on your direct experience, whatever it may be, and realize that whatever sensation you are experiencing is happening inside your space of consciousness AKA "You" or "I". If a car is moving in the distance, the sight of the car and the sound of its engine is happening within the same space the body is inhabiting. That's what's meant by the universe exists within (or is) consciousness itself, and that consciousnesses is you. Again, do not suffice to a conceptual imagining of what I'm saying. Really get in there and know it directly. 2. The aim is to wake up from a dream. It doesn't matter if you do it through sheer force of will and desire (ala Sivaists) or through abandoning worldly attachment (Zen etc.). In my case, I did it through intention. Concepts are useless for getting enlightened. Everything needs to happen in the moment and in your direct experience, rather than through imagination and thought. Lastly, there is no such thing as mistakenly believing yourself to be enlightened so long as you are honest with yourself. If you have doubts, you are not there yet, so be mindful of that and you should be good, desirous or not. 3. Happiness, as you know it is bondage and pain. You cannot be happy without creating the condition for misery since happiness is object-oriented. With enlightenment, the word often used is "bliss". It's inner, causeless joy accompanied by a conviction that you are in the truest sense of the word united and liberated. A person who is liberated, can experience the highest levels of pain and still be alright inside. They can experience the sensations of sadness, and still be free.

For me it is a dissolving/melting feeling of pure bliss. It feels literally like i am dissolving into Infinity. (Because that's what's happening) Its wonderful. I have never tried heroin but i imagine it couldn't even hold a candle.