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I would really question this. It sounds like you awakened to some degree and prescribed to the Law of Attraction at a fundamental level, yet your description of you descent sounds like the opposite, like you reverted your beliefs and succumbed to a victim mentality. You want to take ownership of the good things, yet when bad things happen you retreat; all of a sudden the universe happens to you. Well, it's tough pill to swallow that it's a 2-way street. All of the physical woes you think are happening to you are manifestations of something within. I invite you to go there with complete self-honesty.

Surrendering to the realization that egoic free will is an illusion is part of evolving to post-egoic conscious states. Once I hit post-egoic states, the desire to explore the nature of free-will dissolved. There is a much stronger desire to enter post-egoic states. From a post-egoic perspective let's explore new realms. I don't care if we call it egoic decisions, infinite decisions, a hamster or a cartwheel. There is a calling to enter the magnificence of post-egoic being. For me, falling asleep is a good analogy. When I lay down in bed, if the personal ego is active the mind will stay awake, immersed in the personal story. "I should have done XX at work. If she hadn't said blah blah, then yabber yabber wouldn't have happened". To leave the egoic state of consciousness and enter a new state of consciousness (sleep), the personal egoic dynamics need to relax, surrender and let it happen. I'm not concerned with figuring out what force is guiding that process, if any. I just want to fall asleep. Similarly, if there is desire to transfer from an egoic state of consciousness to a collective state of consciousness, it is a somewhat similar process. The personal egoic dynamics need to relax, surrender and let it take over. I'm not concerned with intellectually figuring out who/what is making the decisions. I want to enter the direct experience of being in these expanded conscious states. Hyper mind-body awareness. Healing one's own body. Paranormal frequencies with other awakened beings. Being past, present and future in the Now. That is where the juice is for my mind-body right now. The only reason I would want to figure out the "free will" or "decision" part is if it can help me enter those states. Otherwise, it's just building more cognitive constructs. I can see how that would be very appealing to other mind-bodys and it was for me for a long time. Just not right now.

I had this about 11 years ago exactly when - supposedly - my kundalini got awakened. lasted for like 1-2 months. never had anything like that since. (and also not before that. no changes in surroundings)

If anyone wonders why I eat so much protein, it's because I've been starving myself accidentally back in December when my Kundalini awakened. Need to regain balance, take better care of what I do. I'm satisfied with the fact that I don't eat bread anymore. That is something. People were asking me if I'm 18 yet, I think that's a good sign that I'm healthy..?

Humans types one, two, three are spiritually asleep with one center heavily dominating the other two. Human type four is awakened and centers are balanced. Has compassion. Human type 5 has continuity of consciousness; personality transforms into Pearl beyond Price, embodiment of personal essence - the second initiation is encountered, which is the expression of the individuality-data which is in the causal body.

Personally i don't even like the word "sprituallity" and hardly ever use it. Enlightenment is simply discovering a natural aspect of ourselves that has always been true but just hidden from the ignorant human ego/mind. Could you imagine a race of beings in another part of the universe that are far more advanced then humans that are totally awakened. It would be a given that they exist as what we refer to as "GOD". But it would'nt be anything "special" to them. That would be a duality = ignorance. Where as for most humans to be enlightened or awakened is something very rare so we give it a special name. But it's nothing more then discovering the full truth of what "is" and has always been true.

They don't identify with the thought that they have awakened. They are not awake and they are not a master. They are not even consciousness. There is only expression of truth

How is your control of attention? Is it dispersed often where life is just encountered on 'autopilot'. Or is the attention drawn by things. Maybe even doom scenarios which to avoid. If one doesn't control their own attention, what does that say? They are essentially a slave? Or a mechanical, stimulus response meat computer with emotions? Being awakened means you direct your attention. You don't forget yourself. You never get bored. Nothing is wrong. Nobody is bad. The intuition is informed by pure feeling uncorrupted by self interest. People are often on a pendulum of wake and waking/sleep throughout the day. Especially those newer to the work. This in itself creates existential angst and disparities which are resolved when an awakened state becomes more steady. Attention can be: 1 - Dispersed 2 - Drawn 3 - Directed Others judgement of nondoing is drawn attention through identifications. Reaching conclusions of others who are judging is judging and is attention being drawn through identification. Freedom is being in possession of ones own attention which is inner freedom. It has a lot to do with being deliberate.

First of all, thank you all for posting your suggestions, especially @pixelwave for revive this topic, i only saw it now. Recently i took a bite of the bullet as Leo always says and went deeper on my detoxification path, i am eating mostly fruits, juices, herbs and doing some fasting when i can. As result, my health greatly improved, my mind is way sharper and focused, almost no brain fog (which i had for years, especially after every meal, no matter how "healthy" it seems to be) and it is improving each day. I noticed that a fruitarian diet accelerated my "spiritual progress" many folds, especially when coupled with hatha yoga, seems to me that my body is always doing a spiritual, emotional and physical detox since it is all connected. I am shocked (in a positive way) with my progress in little time and only can imagine what kinds of benefits i will reap if i continue with this lifestyle throughout years. I also had a realization that i need to go back to concentration based meditation to cultivate my focus/concentration. Man, thank you for your post, i tried kriya yoga before (with the book in your book list) but i found it stirred up too much energy and emotions in my body at the time making me really anxious, angry, impatient etc. My kundalini is already awakened so, at the time, i was having lots of trouble with if (especially hard to ground myself) so i gave up. Recently i started practicing hatha yoga and i am simply LOVING IT, seriously, turned out i really needed to include my body into this equation and hatha yoga did it perfectly. But when you recommended i felt an intuition that it is time to try it again, i saw the mega-thread and bought the other book recommended in there by SantanaGamana i am excited to apply it About neurofeedback: i have never looked into it and i found it promising! With a little research, i found a place in my city (i live in Brazil) and i plan to invest in it in the future (i don't have money for it yet), it seems to have great potential, especially on the long run. Thank you, again, for your suggestions, both have so much potential, i am excited to try them

@Shin peacful awakening? Pls there is no such things only really rare cases before you get awakened you will wish to kill yourself and feel like horseshit..dont seek that it will come...

- I don't agree, I'm logical, I hate fallacy, So I focus on the 'content' not a sayer (and leo's content is mostly legit, except about science(Math/Quantum/Physics)) - But I'm skeptical person, I don't take thing for only one side before fully get into it.... - https://www.quora.com/Is-Leo-Gura’s-Actualized-org-a-scam / https://www.reddit.com/r/awakened/comments/93yzuj/be_wary_of_actualizedorg/ - There's a lot (some still reasonal) negativity on Leo Thoughts?

@Joseph Maynor many people awakened to awareness, its not really something new in this forum. if you think thats that for enlightenment work then you havent spent much time in your nondual state, life will trigger your attachments and youll see what i mean by this process of letting go either way. your system has a memory of fear mechanisms, regardless if you awakened or not, it takes time for it to fully dissolve, even after awakening.

@Joseph Maynor Lol, sure mate. i feel like youre not acknoledging that enlightenment isnt over for you yet, you just awkaened, which many did in this forum including me since 4 years. the process happens regardless if youre awakened or not, maybe youll reach full dissolution or maybe not, regardless, its still happening. nonduality isnt truly nondual until all fear mechanisms are gone and the delusional veils of the subconcious mind are gone. you can still abide in awareness and see this process, no need to avoid it. avoiding what u fear is.. delusional and unenlightened by definition. and that is my whole point, awakening is not the end, a human has memory of many fear mechanisms that are slowly getting proccessed and let go of after awakening.

@Joseph Maynor an awakened person has an ego, but a person who is in a complete state of nonduality (cleared all subconscious fear mechanisms through the process tha takes place after awakening, fear is the building blocks of your ego) has no ego. not many are in a complete state of nonduality, the buddha was though.

@Aquarius an enlightened person does NOT have an ego. an awakened person does still, but after the process of unentaglement you shall be an embodiement of the absolute. an awakened person still has veils of delusion in the subconscious that cloud from seeing reality as it is, such as the multitiude of fear mechanisms. Borderline personality disorder. and whats the point of saying "its just a label" do you think i dont know that? acknowledging whats observed is not something wrong. and also, borderline personality disorder still has many fear mechanisms in it, which isnt synonmous with enlightenment, you can look at positives and negatives sure which is cool, but concerning enlightenment, you cant be borderline and enlightened, not one bit.

there is a purging process takes place, if its not taking place for you and you have awakened to nonduality, then you are running away from something either concsciously or subconciously or using concepts and spiritual experiences to escape

@now is forever do you really think youre in a complete nondual state just because you awakened to awareness? awakening is synonomus with being truthful and acknowledging whats occuring in your experience (the process of untanglement), because disacknowledgement comes from denial which comes from fear, which is ultimately, delusional.

@Leo Gura ive used psychedelics and benefited greatly from them, ive awoken to nonduality because of these substances and so i show my gratitude for that. However, many people including some gurus think that awakening and full enlightenment are synonomus with each other, when that couldnt be farther from the truth. Your limbic system has to catch up to the awakening by the slow process of dissolving subconcious fear mechanisms and attahcments running away from said fear mechanisms. Why i say at a certain point psychedelics are risky bussiness for a persons spiritual path is because the mere fact that the person is going through the process of dissolving attachments, goes against what many people do which is the subconcious chase of nondual experiences through psychedelics. now there isnt anything wrong with that for seeking purposes, but once awakened and you stabilize for a while psychedelics become more pointless ime and other peoples experience that ive talked to. energetic amplifiers have so much benefit im not denying that, but we are humans and we have egoic blindspots, and giving those blindspots an energetic amplifier will only make your process to enlightenment more rocky or more likely too. you can still use it as a tool sure, but based on what ive said i think its a flawed tool at a certain point, and there are more conductive ways of going through your spiritual process.

all that you described is awakening, NOT enlightenment. Enlightenment is a very real thing. enlightenment is when your limbic sytem catches up with the awakening and clears all subconcious fears and the attachments that try running away from. many people that just awoke to nonduality think that thats it, but they couldnt be farther from the truth, their reality will start to crumble because all their egoic paradigms will slowly be released, which can hurt. since fear is not synonomous with enlightenment, dont convince yourself your enlightened when youre not, youre just awakened to nonduality, there millions that are, but very few that are fully enlightened.

@Nahm awakening to nonduality is one thing, ive been in nonduality for 4 years without psychs (though awakened by psychs). and the process that your limbic system undergoes after the awakening is a whole nother thing. this is what seperates a zen master and a random dude on a forum who just convinces himself that he has no fear anymore because he just awoke to nonduality. one is humble enough to realize that his subconcious mind is going through a process of cleansing fear mechanisms, the other wants to hold on to the truth of nonduality and not look at the reality of the process.

during the early stages of awakening the ego can misinterpret nonduality and use it as an escape or be lazy or whatever subconcious egoic dream u have, due to lack of depth in the nondual experience itself. once awakened to nonduality, your limbic system goes through a process of uncontraction, and this process can be disrorienting because your ego is basically in a triggered-release cycle until all fear mechanisms and the attachments that resist and run away from those fears are completely absent from ur system, once thats happened, you are considered to be fully enlightened. i would say try reflecting on what you are trying to run away from, and then once that fear is exposed, then can clearly see its delusional (because you awoke to nonduality), dont try to escape or do anything though, just recognize the unreality of these fears and attachments. your energetic system will purge it out when its due. I suggest reading or watching sheng yen's videos on youtube, he has helpful videos concerning this process.

@Salvijus Like I said, psychedelics can awaken a person to nonduality, but awakening to nonduality is not full enlightenment. your energetic system which has a memory of fear mechanisms and attachments has to catch up to the awakening. only then can that be full enlightement. because how can you be truly nondual when fear mechanisms are still in your subconcious mind? a cleansing process of your limbic system has to take place for full enlightenment. Psychedelics, being energetic amplifiers by their nature, amplify your consciousness which can lead to nondual awakening and also other things such as dealing with trauma and having new perspectives, but they also amplify your emotional bubbles ALOT, and humans by nature have egoic blindspots, especially during psychedelic experiences because everything is just amplified to a ridiculous degree. All emotion and their thought patterns are based off of fear mechanisms in your subconious mind. when you awaken to nonduality, you realize fear is delusion, thus, the process of uncontracting your limbic system of fear mechanisms and the attachments that resist them, start to take place. Also, you shouldnt take any Guru's word just because he says hes enlightened. many gurus awoke to nonduality and stabilized for many years but they dont admit that they arent fully enlightened either, i mean, you can clearly see that sadghuru still plays egoic games such as arrogance and also you can see anxiety in him in some interviews, this does not indicate a fully enlightened man, although he is in a very deep nondual state i have to say, its just that he hasnt dealt with alot of his issues and him being a guru and being attached to that identity kind of stops him from seeing his issues. I have been in nonduality for 4 years, enlightenment is not instatenous, awakening is however. the veils that cover reality slowly uncover from your subconcious once awakened, only when they are fully gone can you consider yourself fully enlightened.

@Shakazulu i feel you. but a word of advice is to read up on the noble 8 fold path by the buddha. it used to seem like total bullshit and just running around to me when i first awoke, but i realized that its a pretty good system for having balance during this process of uncontraction. cuz this process can be pretty disorienting alot of the time due to the nature that we are so used to egoic consciousness and the mere fact that uncontraction means that we are gonna be feeling pain, alot. because attachment is pain, and when u release it its like you're releasing a thorn from your body, it will hurt, but progressively you will be so beat down that all of that stuff is gonna be gone, its like when a person goes through war, he has more resilience towards the pain and suffering of war, with enlightenment the process will eliminate every fear though, and even normal people are going through this process aswell but without their conscious awareness (and usually slower than people awakened to nonduality), life beats down our attachments again and again until we surrender the fight, and running away from fear.

yup, many dont like reflecting on themselves because it attacks the subconcious fears that the ego is trying to run away from, the game it likes to play of sadness and all the other slew of the human emotional system. you gotta deal with your man tho, he doesnt go away that easily, once awakened its only the mere start. a process of uncontracting from the delusional fears and the things u cling onto which protect you from those fears, starts to take place.

@TheAvatarState I highly doubt it tbh. just the mere fact that we are humans and we have egoic blindspots is enough reason to be very careful with believing that psychs are perfect, because even though people dont really think that, i think many subconciously do. Like i said they have many benefits and they benefited me aswell, but at a certain point energetic amplifiers are not congruent to enlightenment, it just doesnt make any sense to me at my point in the path. anything that makes your emotional bubbles bigger is not enlightenment, enlightenment is the clearing of emotional bubbles, not just awakening to nonduality, awakening to nonduality is the start. but sadly, since many have these fancy nondual experiences on psychs, they think its enlightenment. if you think it takes you straight to enlightenment then are u saying you are stabilized in enlightenment or just with the psych experience? cuz if its just an experience of enlightenment then that doesnt do anything benefecial for me, i already awakened to nonduality, but my system is undergoing systemic changes which is clearing energetic contractions, and giving my system a psychedelic which amplifies bubble contractions is just a bad idea at my point, so this is why im saying psychedelics at a certain point would blunt your progress. has alotta benefits for people starting out for sure but people whove been stabilized in nonduality long enough i think can relate to what i am saying.