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@Bno How happy are you with your current lifestyle of following and being involved in politics? Is it love, joy, bliss? What are your pre-dominant emotions and feelings?

Recently Ive been going through what I feel is called emotional release where I have tears from beauty and it feels healing. have been experiencing this most days for the past week especially. And after this happened yesterday I felt a sense of loss once the bliss went away so i went for a walk and chanted om mani padme hum for a leat 30 minutes this calmed me down allot and then today at work i spent most of the day chanting this mantra in my head and realised it is quite good at dealing with my overactive mind. This afternoon whilst masterbating it felt good in the groin area but my chest had what felt like a massive hole in it. I'm wandering if this something to do with guilt about pleasure or is this my higher-self telling me that I am objectifying and masterbating without the love/ joy component? I've heard Leo say "guys really need to get over this thing about sex being a bad thing" so I figured maybe this is my body bringing this to my attention so it can heal and I just need to feel it. But could this be my intuition telling me to stop? I kept going before I was interrupted and had to stop. I have felt this feeling throughout my life for burst of maybe 10 or 20 seconds for as long as I can remember every month or so kind of just randomly, not just while masterbating. I know it used to be associated with the words "i want my mommy" in a very scared child voice. The words have stopped since I was an adolescent but the feeling has continued randomly for the small little bursts. Today I felt it for a long time like a full 2 or 3 minutes while masterbating because I wanted to see if it would move. It stopped once i stopped masterbating however. Is feeling this feeling healing or is it me ignoring something or doing something wrong and my higher self or whatever is trying to get me to stop some behaviour?

@Patrick Lynam Sexual energy can be experienced in any part of the body... the heart included. And with an open heart, it feels like bliss and love... usually directed to one's partner, as it is an expression of love instead of just pleasure. For men in general, there is a particular challenge because their sexual energy goes from the bottom up. So, it starts in the loins and then travels upward, where women's sexual energy begins in the head and travels downward. But the loins have the most gravity. So, a woman's sexuality begins in her mind travels to the heart and then to the loins. For a man, his sexual energy has the opposite path... starting in the loins, traveling to the heart, and then to the head. So, the energy works against "gravity" to reach the heart and head. What it may be is that your sexual energy is trying to move to the heart, but that there is either too much density to your energy... so "gravity" brings it down. Or the sexual energy could be beginning to reach your heart, and the discomfort you feel is a symptom of the heart opening... and the experiencing residual traumas from past events.

Recently Ive been going through what I feel is called emotional release where I have tears from beauty and it feels healing. have been experiencing this most days for the past week especially. And after this happened yesterday I felt a sense of loss once the bliss went away so i went for a walk and chanted om mani padme hum for a leat 30 minutes this calmed me down allot and then today at work i spent most of the day chanting this mantra in my head and realised it is quite good at dealing with my overactive mind. This afternoon whilst masterbating it felt good in the groin area but my chest had what felt like a massive hole in it. I'm wandering if this something to do with guilt about pleasure or is this my higher-self telling me that I am objectifying and masterbating without the love/ joy component? I've heard Leo say "guys really need to get over this thing about sex being a bad thing" so I figured maybe this is my body bringing this to my attention so it can heal and I just need to feel it. But could this be my intuition telling me to stop? I kept going before I was interrupted and had to stop. I have felt this feeling throughout my life for burst of maybe 10 or 20 seconds for as long as I can remember every month or so kind of just randomly, not just while masterbating. I know it used to be associated with the words "i want my mommy" in a very scared child voice. The words have stopped since I was an adolescent but the feeling has continued randomly for the small little bursts. Today I felt it for a long time like a full 2 or 3 minutes while masterbating because I wanted to see if it would move. It stopped once i stopped masterbating however. Is feeling this feeling healing or is it me ignoring something or doing something wrong and my higher self or whatever is trying to get me to stop some behaviour?

@wesyasz It's curious how this works, isn't it? What is especially fascinating about mushrooms is the fact that different dosages tend to lead to totally different results (at least that's been the case for me). In my experience, LSD is a very reliable and sort of linear acting substance, meaning that higher doses just give me more of the exact same thing; mushrooms on the other hand are kind of like those candy grabber machines at a funfair: You might reach for the cool digital watch but get one of those butt ugly troll dolls instead. In my case, the last high dose mushroom trip I had embarked on had been almost exactly one year ago, and let me tell you, it was a vastly different experience. I had taken five grams, which frankly doesn't seem to be a good dosage for me; it was just enough to send me off into twisted hyperspace limbo, but not enough to make my ego raise the white flag and let go of the reigns --- in short: I did NOT have a fun time at all during that particular trip; it was actually one of the most sobering trips I ever subjected myself to. So when I finally decided to revisit my little fungi friends, I was definitely a little bit nervous and totally unsure about what to expect; but something told me that now was the right time to be shroomin' again. This time around, I did not even weight the dose... - I know, I know, I am probably not giving the most stellar example for responsible tripping here, LOL. Just let me say in my humble defense that it was probably for the best that I didn't put 'em on the scale since I would most likely have chickened out had I known exactly how much it was that I so foolhardily decided to gobble down; sometimes ignorance IS bliss. By my estimation, it must have been something in the neighborhood of six to seven grams, and DAMN if I didn't hit the sweet spot this time! I think that I have been really lucky with the timing as well. Just two days before the trip, I entered this weird state of I-don't-give-a-fuck-ness while I was hanging out in the park; as I sat there ruminating about my cruel fate in life and all that usual BS, I suddenly sort of stopped dead in my mental tracks and thought "You know what? I am tired of this fucking game. I just don't want to play no more. Yup, that's it, I am DONE. Over and out." Not in a bitter way, but with the calmness and serenity of a fisherman who just reels it in, packs up and goes home. And I pretty much managed to keep this spirit until it was time for mushroom takeoff, which I think was definitely a contributing factor for my blissful annihilation.

I'm assuming you're either from a middle eastern, African or Indian culture as that train of thought seems particularly prevalent here. Watch Leo's video on Masculinity and Feminity. Your attitude is precisely what's making you not masculine, not the hidden desire to take it up the butt. He suggests that being a true man is not being afraid of being yourself or looking "feminine" and he uses the example of openly crying in front of someone. Think about it. You're literally scared of yourself and your emotions. How can you be a strong, fearless masculine force when the first thing that scares you in the morning are your inner thoughts? I'm not judging you, just giving you something to think about. Fear of "gayness" is one of the most hilarious male ideas. I saw a guy on Reddit that took it to the extent that he didn't wash his dick because touching a Penis, even if it's your own, is gay. Just own yourself. You'd be surprised how common this is. I've had bisexual thoughts before and somewhat acted on them and found out I really like women but I have repressed parts of my sexuality. Why do you think it's so common for conservative politicians to publicly demonize homosexuals only to turn out to be Gay or Bi themselves? Watch Leo's video on self-love again, you're literally shaming and hating yourself. Accept yourself fully and your life will be bliss.

Human is enemy of Allah. says Quran. 'We've created human from drop and, look, human is opposing us, being a clear enemy to us.' the term used in quran - hasim mubin - clear opponent. Human neglect thy Lord, instead human wants Infinite, wants Being, wants Bliss. In other words, human wants devil. -------------------- To anyone who speaks russian - http://kontrudar.com/lekcii/islam - full explanation on what is infinite - what is individual perception (ego) - and why you are deluded by nondual movement.

Hi guys, so basically Im searching for some advice on this forum, especially I want to know what Leo thinks should be the best way for me. So heres my situation: Im currently 23 years old, and Im really realizing that nothing in this material world makes me really happy nor will it ever in the future. Things like food, sex, relationships, money, success, socializing, working a job etc. nothing of this gives me happiness( a few years ago I thought they would, but I grew and developed myself and realized that I really dont need them for my happiness). Of course having some good friends or eating some good food can be a enjoyable, but it doesnt really make me happy. I really could live without all of these things. So I really got interested in finding a way out of all of this and I stumbled upon spirituality, awakening etc. and got interested in pursuing it (havent done any spiritual practice so far). On the other hand to be honest, I really dont care that much about questioning reality and contemplating things like reality, time, reason, consciousness, god, truth etc. I am not that much intereseted in metaphysical questions, so contemplation as a spiritual practice would not work for me. I really just want to find a way out of this "rat race" and want to experience bliss, joy etc. Its not that Im totally not interested in metaphysical questions, I am to some degree, but it is really not that much, that I could sit down and contemplate the nature of reality for the next hour. Maybe if I start the pursuit of awakening, the curiousity and desire for these questions will come? I dont know. So is it possible to get awakened if you are not interested in these questions, but just want to find a antoher a way out? Thanks guys, appreciate all of your answers.

Of course you will; it is absolutely inevitable. Such is the glory of death: It is the ultimate equalizer, the bringer of bliss, justice and salvation, and he comes to every single creature in the end - 100 % guaranteed, no exception. Just let the universe take you by the hand and work its magic! Do I sound like a manic street preacher already? Bwahahaha! As far as my background goes, I have been meditating very regularly for three years now, and two years ago I started taking psychedelics. I thought I had a couple of "amazing ego deaths" under my belt already, but HOLY FUCK - what I experienced almost twenty hours ago makes all of my previous trips look like a fucking joke in comparison. I am still kind of floored.

Hello i want share with you my most shocking trip. Im sorry if there are any mistakes in grammar, i dont speak english I took 1 tab of LSD wait hour and half And than took 60mg of MDA. I got stuck in strong thought loop which i can't really explain. Than it wasn't only thought but whole reality become that loop And i was just stuck in It again and again. I can't do anything. I saw only fractals everyvhere. Most interesting thing hapend when the trip was ending, i still saw how everything is like Infinite fractals somehow conected to the loop. Than i was like ,,wait who am i?" Boom at that moment i become that strange loop, everything startet making sence. It feel like i broke my mind, it was crazy Infinite mind fuck and that was reality, i was reality. I started crying and feeling love and bliss. Now i can see the beauty of everything, from that day everything look diferent and same at the same time. Soo the trip wasn't comfortable but it was what i needed for my Journey which isn't Journey.

I'd like to give interpretation on one verse in Quran, forgive me my grammatical mistakes. Human is reflection inside the mirror of someone who stands in front of the mirror. Human is bound to repeat every action after the original one. Of course, he is reflection, and reflection reflects. And human naturally wants to become the one who is in front of the mirror. Human wants to lose heaviness of being a reflection, and just to be the original one, and not a reflection. He wants to simply be... Because the original one is pure being and it is so easy. And for some its even more than that, it is blissful, it is satchitananda. It is joy and love and goodness. Human then calls his reflection nature as ego, illusion, avidiya, ignorance. He spends years to dissolve it, and to become nothingness. What can he do, all gurus he saw taught exactly same thing. But who is that one (the original one) who stands in front of the mirror and sees its own reflection in the mirror? That original one is what people on this forum call God. Echart Tolle calls him God. Mooji calls him God. Rupert Spira and Adyashanti calls him God's Infinite Being. That's why they keep saying that God = you, reality = God, Being = God. But then prophets come and give us text, and then we know - this original one in front of the mirror - it is God of this world, God of this reality, King of this world, or Devil, Iblis. It is The Great Being. It is also an archetype of all worlds. All worlds are reflections of this one original archetype. Also: Ishvara, Shiva, 'Father', Apollos (in arabic - Iblis), Ahura-Mazda, God of light and beauty. And we are his reflections. Our task, prophets say, is not to become him, and not to dissolve our egos in him, but we are ought to emancipate consciousness from him, from Being. We are to oppose him. Because the true God is not him and we receive text about who is that true God. We receive method to emancipate consciousness. This task exists not for us, but we exist for that task. Solving that task will define the meaning of existence. Wait a moment, how can good-love-bliss-truth be the Devil? I don't get it. Good question. The thing is that, God intentionally created reality upon the error. It is made so as a test for people. So people will fix it. The core of the error is good and evil. Verse says: Maybe you love something but in fact it is evil for you, and maybe you hate something but in fact it is good for you. Or in other words, what you think is evil - that is good, and what you think is good - that is evil. What seems like good in this reality, and what you naturally love - this is evil. And what seems like bad and what you naturally hate - this is good. Let's stop on first part - the Good declared as Evil - it is knowledge about that one in front of the mirror - he presents himself as Goodness and Love. But in fact it is Devil. Apollo in Greek tradition is God of Love, Beauty, Harmony, Light. And also he presents himself as Consciousness. But in fact he is not Consciousness. Consciousness exists only as opposition to Being, as a contrast to Being, but not as part of Being, not as equal to Being. Only as opposition and not in oneness, and not in just being. Witness is not is-ness, Witness is separate and opposite to is-ness. Is-ness by its very nature is pointing that it is not witness. Witness cannot be what is witnessed. But this Devil tricks people and presents Consciousness as his own nature by saying some illogical thing like witnessed = what is witnessed. That's not an illusion, its not an illusion that it seems like they are same thing, but it is the result of the fact that Consciousness is suppressed by Being. And, returning to what is previously said, we are to emancipate Consciousness from Being. We receive method, the scripture is that instruction. One of the instructions is: To put names of Allah, the one who is absent, the one who we call Huwa (Kul-huwa-Allahu-ahad), HE, or absent one, to put his names in the focus and centre of our spiritual attention. Graceful, Merciful, Giving, Forcing, Almighty etc. We are interested in putting these names in the centre and in focus of our spiritual attention. To be able to do that, to perform that - leads to emancipation of consciousness. It leads to immediate and to correct awakening, or providential awakening. Its just one of the methods. So this -TRUTH-CONSCIOUSNESS-LOVE - or absolute infinity, or infinite goodness-love, is false orientation, false value and false 'God', an idol. Thats why the witness of faith is la ilaha illallah (there are no gods except Allah) - Except and besides the one whose name is Allah who is radically Separate from reality, Opposite to Infinity, Opposite to Absolute Everything-ness, and radically Transcendent and yet is active here and now through his absence, besides him there is no other immanent Gods. It is denial of idea that any immanent gods including The Great Being are Gods, they are denied as orientation and value. This one, this infinity, or this thing in front of the mirror, or this pure being, or this love, light, truth - is denied. Instead of that, there is Allah as your orientation. And we can know about him and 'get towards' him only through what prophet's scripture revealed (Muhammadar rasulullah). Besides that we don't have tools. Because when we use our natural tools, we almost always reach The Great Being and then call him God and then we try to dissolve into him. Without abrahamic and only abrahamic holy scripture as a method, we fall for idols. Real idol is not statue or image, real idol is that infinite which presents itself as infinitely good Being. But in reality it is just the big candy who said in Quran: 'I will come to them from right,left,back,front and will surely mislead all of them from your path, except thy righteous slaves'. Btw, that's one of the reasons why Moses-Pharaoh collision is so often given in Quran - Pharaoh declared: I am God (things didn't change ever since then as we can see), while his Egyptian priests based their metaphysics around pantheism/nonduality, oneness of Being where Being = God. They were enlightened. And Pharaoh too. And the whole tyrannical Egyptian pyramidal order had roots in their nondual metaphysics. Paradoxically, the metaphysics of 'infinite goodness of the great being' led to tyrannical order, enlightened avant garde created tyranny. Then Moses was sent by true God, he was sent to destroy this pantheistic ideology and political tyranny. But I think the main problem here is this: all or many gurus are advocating for so-called 'positive experience'. They say: to experience, to be spontaneous etc. is positive thing and our main goal in spirituality is experience, and this experience is to be positive. Look, you breath, you walk, you love, you have highs and lows, it is positive. They advocate for positive experiential nature of reality. Because for them, Reality = God. And people fall for that idea of good, they try to find spiritual state where experience will be positive. But la ilaha illallah is advocating the opposite - you should know that there is no positive experience in the field of immanent, even though it feels positive but its not positive from the perspective of Consciousness. You should know that reality is not God. That doesn't put God somewhere away, we wilfully put him in the centre of our attention (through his names) even though he is absent.

So this morning I had some kind of sleep paralysis experience. I woke up very early for some reason and decided to do some body awareness exercises and relaxing my body to maybe fall back asleep. When I finally started falling asleep again, I suddenly found myself stuck in some state between sleep and wakefulness. I was filled with absolute terror as I heard someone moving around in my room. I was absolutely convinced that some man was in my room and he was just about to kill me. I couldn't really move my body and I felt the man walking behind my back in my room. This felt like absolute true reality, not at all like a dream. As I was being filled with this powerful fear of death I remembered some of the advice I had been given in regards to psychedelic trips and Leo's videos on Death. I just said "fuck it" and decided to compeltely let go and dive in to the terror and let the man kill me. I just trusted what I had learned about death and what happened was truly magical.. Immediately after giving up the struggle, I was filled with this powerful sense of bliss. It was similiar to the the deepest peace I have ever experienced through meditation. Everything kind of dissolved into this white light of pure being and all of the fear immediately vanished. In an instant, I was no longer afraid, everything was perfect and at peace. After this I quickly woke up to my everyday consciousness. This experience gave me a powerful insight into death and I realized these nondual teachers are right. There's nothing to fear except fear itself. Once we give in to the fear, no matter how terrifying it is, we will be released from all the suffering and it will lose all of its power. "This is how magic is done. By hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering it's a feather bed." — Terence McKenna

@Kshantivadin primarily because it is suffering that at all allows you to know there is bliss. You would not know the primacy of bliss without it’s opposite, it would be near impossible. So suffering and pain is your opportunity to cultivate within it and transmute it into its counter part, which is bliss. Much like consciousness is made known through becoming separated through the duality of self, bliss is known through being dichotomously contrasted by suffering.

Hi danilofaria, Please bear with me, I have a lot to say on this topic of having children. First of all, I always wanted kids as a young child and later a young woman but I was aware that I was pretty fucked up in a lot of ways and I blamed my parents for that as well as my own selfishness and helplessness in the face of a lot of self-destructive things that I wanted to do. I was unrelenting in my accusations to my parents of their having taken easy ways out and selling themselves out for material things and on and on. And the truth is that I have not actually met any parents that did more, gave more, achieved more, or were just great parents than mine. So I was setting the bar pretty high for myself cause I knew that the day would come when my own kids would confront me with my bullshit and blame me for their miseries. So first and foremost it became very important to cut out my bullshit. And I couldn't. Next came the issue of a father to my hypothetical kids. Being a woman with authority issues, how ever was I to find a partner that wasn't going to pull the control shit that many men think that they have to pull? Granted, there are blessed souls out there that are actualized and aren't controlling. I just had never met one. So my solution was to "seek lower companions", guys that were pretty much more fucked up than me. On top of that, I didn't trust men who hadn't stepped out of the box AND I didn't trust men who had. At least the "Bad Boys" were fun and weren't on my case with disapproval and control. I was really conscious that finances and kids are major factors in breaking up relationships. A good rule of thumb that I thought of was that a person should be able to support themself and one other before they have a child. Shit happens in life and most marriages break up. All the sad stories about the long-suffering single mothers, the custody battles, the child support. What a nightmare to be shackled to a man for the rest of my youth, that I once thought I loved, until my child could support himself/herself. In my thirties, I finally put a lot of the bullshit aside and became a primary school teacher. It immediately was apparent that the kids with a fighting chance of progressing in academic learning were the ones who had someone at home that was ACTUALLY DOING THEIR HOMEWORK WITH THEM. And I am not talking about, 'kid at the table while Mom is cooking dinner or doing laundry, or bathing another kid, or, or, or....' And homework just keeps getting harder and harder. By 5th grade, kids are getting several hours of homework now. As a teacher, I hated assigning homework because I knew the havoc that it was causing in many of the homes. "Do you God Damned Homework! "I can't!" "What do you mean you CAN'T? Aren't you paying attention in class?" "But she didn't explain it!" "Well then ASK her!" "I did but I still didn't understand!" In some homes, this battle goes on every night FOR YEARS. People in nuclear families begin to HATE each other due to homework wars. I have LOTS more reasons NOT to have children. But let's say a couple genuinely love one another and can demonstrate it on a daily basis so their kids know what love is. Let's say the reason that they decide to have kids to love the kids, not to be loved by the kids. Let's say they are well on the road to actualization and have developed themselves enough to be able to use their talents to do satisfying and profitable work and are generally happy within themselves. Hard times are coming. I wouldn't want to raise cannon fodder. Nor would I want to raise a hero or a martyr. I am still too bloody selfish to risk that kind of pain. The loss is that I don't get to experience that unconditional love that I would feel from and for another human being. I'm struggling enough with whether or not I am coming back to help out cause I know I'm God and that I will have a choice. I'm not real happy about that either though. I was really hoping that enlightenment was going to fix this BLEEDING compassion of mine. I'm still hoping that I won't be bleeding with it all the time. That's how I personally will know I'm thinking. Bliss and bleeding may both start with bl but I'm thinking that the blood has to go yet and still! "God forgive them, they know not what they do!' He wasn't talking about the nails and the cross. He was talking about IT ALL. Love and forgiveness is the context. It's the fucking painful content that one can do a bit better overall with, while remembering the context. Am I my brother's keeper? I mean, AM I MY BROTHER'S KEEPER? So how much pain can you handle? How much love do you manifest? How much money do you have? How happy are you? How well can you guide without controlling? How open can you keep your hand? How open can you keep your heart? I used to say that I'd have grandkids if I could skip the mother part. In a least expected way, something like that occurred but even then, to be able to pursue my path, I have left those kiddos in California and am gradually shifting my world to Kalamata, Greece. Come visit me sometime. This is my land of miracles. rebasin3@gmail.com

I could try it with desires to meet people. Haven't thought of that. Didn't do a tingling, but orgasmic bliss, and I feel it about 6/10 intensity, along with a much more dense psychic pressure behind the bliss. Another guy said it helped with his concussion about 95% after 2 minutes. I have gotten good feedback from many people in a Facebook group I'm in. Like one lady in Australia who stressed out about the bushfires finding relief through bliss. I have used to to feel nostalgia and even sadness, since emotions are energy. I still have to find the balance of Intensity to use with desired outcome. Too strong and it can bottleneck.

Maybe we are not all on the same page here. if you are talking about reading a book, a video, or learning on a forum about the self or the ego being a fiction and then believing it -then that's one thing. But the problem is that when you do that you are taking it on as a belief. That is a trap one can fall in and thus never discover Truth directly. Truth is known not by knowing but in Being or isness. Of course one is being/issing right now. You are Truth right now. Truth is THIS - BUT...and this is a huge but, (no pun intended) unless one has had a non-dual state (samadhi) in which they became conscious of that, then for them to say it would still be a belief. And they run the risk of self deception in which the ego is telling them there is no ego so that it keeps the ego from killing itself. Its a survival mechanism of the ego. So we are talking about transcending or getting underneath knowing and knowledge. This requires mystical states of consciousness. Death. A state of Samadhi. Non-dual states of consciousness in which the illusory self falls away and there is only the Absolute. It is only in this state of consciousnes that consciousness becomes conscious of its true nature. It is pure actuality laid bare. Now as far as getting back to the practicing question - when i first discovered spirituality i began self inquiry meditation and it was during that meditation that i reached states of samadhi. The first mystical state happened within a few days of switching between self inquiry and no mind meditation. During this time frame i experienced multiple non-dual states both during meditation and either just sitting in a chair afterwards or waking up from sleep, or just resting in bed. So i have had states of samadhi both during meditation and spontaneously (they happened in the first month of starting self inquiry.) I then integrated back into the ego/form (but now knowing that the form was actually the formless appearing as form). I then experienced a second set of non-dual states i believe it was a month or so after that - again some both spontaneously and some while meditating. These were even more powerful. I feel these completed my awakening. That's not to say that i will never die again / reach a mystical state but at this point, I'm there. So at present i do not feel the need to do any practices but at the same time i still enjoy sitting in silence and meditating - but just to be at this point. The reason i am saying all of this is because yes - it is possible to have spontaneous states of samadhi after just reading or learning about spirituality but i think that doing practices such as self inquiry can help induce non-dual states of consciousness as they seemingly did for me. If one is super gifted though, it could happen without any practices. For the average person though, i don't feel it works as simply as that. I feel that these tools can really help trigger mystical states. It's just tricky and paradoxical (of course) because i was not seeking anything when i did them. I honestly had no idea what i was getting into. I was an atheist and a rationalist/materialist my whole life. So I think if one tries too hard or they are not ready for Truth to reveal itself it will not happen. Yet if they are ready, the slightest trigger could potentially open the door to hitting a non-dual state..but that is just my take. As i have stated on this forum before i cannot speak directly on pyschedelics because i did not use them. But it does sound like they can be a tool if one is ready for Truth. As far as the realizations during these states, i can say from direct experience that becoming conscious that the self is an illusion is just one realization. During my states of samadhi i have had one where i have become directly conscious of the nature of reality instantaneously, what my truest nature is (awareness itself) and that there is no self. I have also had the realization of Oneness in which i became conscious that all perspectives were Me as God/Infinity. All realizations came with TOTAL and i mean TOTAL bliss that words cannot explain. To describe what the states themselves felt like words cannot do. But pure divinity is a good start. Death is bliss. I am interested in knowing your path to your state or states of samadhi? Did the falling away of the self happen for you spontaneously and what was it like? For me as i said it was death. The ego was completely killed off (no sex drive, absolutely no desires for anything, and just pure bliss. As form returned it followed with some ego backlash (the Oneness especially was tough to swallow) and the integration between duality and non-duality. This is how it must be. Now, you have said in the past that you had spent a lot of hours on spirituality - did you do self inquiry?

Sometimes when i sit down and observe i feel like an npc player acting out tasks , ive watched many shows to realize that this reality is too perfect to be real i mean everything is just too convinent . Hungry ? Just eat . Thirsty just drink want to go somewhere use your legs. You get my point sometimes it feels like all of this is almost like a program like if there was an ultimate reality it wouldnt be this pretty or accomodate for us. It almost like we are experincing an illusion while our real selves are either outside of this reality in bliss or complete beingness . This "reality " that they live in is nothing like ours its something thats completly un undetstable to the human "mind". Imagining the notion that we arent real and just mere npcs is threatening scary to a normal person which is an expected reaction an npc , only the brave ones pursue whats beyond. Everyones path is predermined so is everything else in life sometimes iam able to see invetiable changes that will happen to me . Human evolution is invetiable you can distrupt the flow , you can throw off the flow by hundred years but its invetiable. Even the creation of actualized.org was predermined including all its haters and followers its the flow . People delude themselves thinking they are in control of their fate how do you know your fate ? You dont . You just try to your best at whatever you are doing because you never know . Everyone moves at their own pace , everyone is where they need to be at the moment . Im a writer i like telling stories ive always wanted to create a storie that included everything , everything piece i created i was unsatsifed but what i didnt realize that i aready created my best masterpiece

He emenates bliss. You'll notice when the mind is still enough.

Thoughts have a great momentum. Just because you have thoughts does not mean you are failing your practice. The same for negative emotions. Just because you are having negative emotions also does not mean you are failing your practice. Awareness means to be with whatever is. It doesn't need to be pleasant, it doesn't mean you'll immediately have a silent mind. It doesn't mean any of that. It simply means that you look at whatever is occuring in the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, comfortable or uncomfortable, wanted or unwanted, and you stay with that. True meditation and mindfulness is not about trying to feel or be a particular way, but it is about being with whatever happens to be the case. The distance that you create by doing so, is the reward of your practice. And that reward may not (at least initially) even be experienced as happiness or peace or bliss or whatever, but just as a lack of identification with thoughts and feelings and therefore taking a step back from being in suffering. Don't worry about having a lot of thoughts. Only if you become really advanced will you start noticing that you will barely have any thoughts anymore. But there is no reason to fear or oppose your thoughts. Just let them do their thing, but don't identify yourself with it. The practice is done NOW. Whenever you find yourself worrying about whether you're present enough or not, is the moment you get identified and have lost the path. The moment you're worrying about being present is exactly the moment you have lost presence. However, the moment you become aware that this is happening, is the exact moment when you're back on track. So the only power you truly have is the way you can relate with yourself, right here, right now. There is no other time to be able to do that, because future or past do not exist as an experiential reality as such. Read "the power of now" by Eckhart Tolle if you haven't already.

When I started experiencing bliss states out on runs by fields of flowers, the only expression that came to mind was "FUCK!" over and over. You bewilder us with your grace. All evils transform into goodness. You are the master alchemist. You light the fire of love in earth and sky in heart and soul of every being. Through your love existence and nonexistence merge. All opposites unite. All that is profane becomes sacred again. -Rumi

Today I watched one of my fave videos of Actualized, the one where Leo goes on a solo meditational retreat in the forest of Arizona. He appears with goods and food packed in his car before starting his new adventure. But there's one thing that catched my attention: Leo looks one of the most optimistic and happy person in the world. He looks so excited about his trip and his eyes are full of JOY. It contrasts with the post psychedellic era, where he started to wear the white shirt and full beard. After the mythical video where he became God, and the absolute infinity, he started to look sad, kinda burned out. Maybe something happened in the other side, or maybe he catched a parasite entity in the other dimension like newage woos theorise. Or maybe is the post enlightenment dowfall. What i feel that after the DMT era the "gap" between the master and the subscriber has become too big. Back in time Leo used a language and explained things the way he reassured that his public would understand everything. Today (maybe due excess of people asking him questions) his answers are like: This would take you years of practise and intricate self-inquiry to understand that (spiritual ego dismissed the questioner,its not worth to spend effort to explain things to plebs). Whats left is accept without questioning his dogmas about his new topics about politics, religion, epistemolgy, and trust Leo blindly (faith)because we cannot understand his meta stuff. Very cult-like attitude. This lack of effort to translate his spiritual epiphanies and finding about the nature of reality in "words" and he resolving the problem by saying: "This cannot be explained by language and concepts" has costed him lot of misinterpretations and critiques in internet. At least he could have tried to create metaphores like christians did to make some acute minds grasp the message behind, or conceptualize in the form of rules like the hermetic principles, or describes visually like the movie Dr Strange. The misinterpretation of Leo's revelations to plain people calling him solipsist, taking out of contexts bits of his videos, all come down due the main problem.. The GAP If I try hard to understand Leos viewpoint I can. It would take time, but I can. He cannot say: you dont exist, everything is mind... out of context. It need to be shown the contects the viewpoint, the paradigms... The correct way is to explain, contextualize, put the viewer in your viewpoint: You dont exist the way that society told you, you are not a physical body, you are not a ego, but the things is deeper because I start from the premise that everything is imaginated by a mind. Also i thing that nothing exist, all its hallucinated by a great mind. Viewer: ah I start to grasp your point, thanks for the explanation dude! Back to the topic, I dont want Leo explain us why his happy mood has changed during his spiritual path, because its his personal life. But Id like to know if this is gonna happen to us if we dive deeper to the rabbit hole. Is there a kind of toll or cost we must pay to devote out time to spiritual practise? I honestly would prefer to be a ignorant and having the bliss that Leo had in his beginnings. His positive attitude was contagious.

@tsuki When I wrote the first journal I made here, I made so many assumptions about the part you took in it. The law of attraction explained why, at first it wasn't an assumption, it was a complete and total knowing of an aspect, or a blindness to everything that didn't matter from the perspective of Source. You helped me to focus, and it grew bigger and bigger until it took over. I saw through the veil, I was seeing the glimpses into how perfectly planned my past was, how perfectly it had been designed (or creatively written) to lead me to that very moment. Remember the book theme? When it ended I was back to my human perspective and even though the feeling of bliss stuck around and my reality was shattered, coming back from that state was an awkward transition because my normal thought patterns were left to make sense of it and they made a lot of assumptions without discerning. It's just like now, I can see flaws in my upbringing, I can see flaws in people and situations but I've had this experience of complete and total altered perception, and I know that I am creating the flaws through the filter of mind, and I know through focus they will cease to exist in my experience, and that my focus and experience is the creation of my reality itself. When I was writing the journal I assumed that your state of mind the entire time was the same as mine throughout and that's why everything that has happened since has been such a mind fuck. One assumption I made is that you had already had and fully understood the exact experience I was having then. I know now that neither of the realities I experience can be assumed. I am left without ground, trying to navigate a world where I must make and be ready to throw away assumptions. By the way, I'm sorry about all the assumptions and misunderstandings. Anyway, that's why it's very interesting to me that you are reading this particular book and starting with the Old Testament God the Father. Just remember who (you) wrote it and that the book is not the book. Selfish is a good thing, at least it is when it's focused and without its assumptions about others.

Saw a post by @Gneh Onebar on his RASA experience so thought I'd make a thread for those out there who are still hardcore seekers, don't fancy the psychedelics path and want to work with a teacher 1-1. I started working with Ananda Devi in April after reading 1000 (from Leo's book list) last November time, I at first thought RASA was BS and overpriced, I basically became a Rupert Spira fanboy for about 4-5 months beforehand (I saw he was at 1000 from the book) and it was an incredible step up in understanding from being an Eckhart fanboy loool, however despite being addicted to his videos and books for 4 months or so, I didn't make tremendous progress, was considering his retreats, and may go on one eventually just for fun, but I personally think $1000 on working 1-1 with a teacher > $1000+ on 1 7 day Rupert Retreat. So, I can't remember exactly but my original LOC was like 580 or so, but LOC is just a model and isn't that important really, like all concepts must be dropped eventually, however, it's a great tool for evaluating your own awakenings and/or teachers etc. I also learned a lot about the Enneagram and my own humanity, it explained a lot of how I act and I recommend everynone doing Enneagram work. I have been receiving RASA since April roughly 1-2 times a month, usually every fortnight, and for me it has basically acted as a gradual 'Clearing' of any blockages, issues, problems I had in my own unique awakening process, as well as facilitating several awakenings in the days after, often subtly realizing certain things. It started with an awakening into 'No Self' and there being 'No-Doer' this is similar to what good old Eckhart/ Fred Davis etc teach, the whole 'there's nobody there' 'you are the one who's aware' it's awesome opening yourself to Non-Duality and this was a drastic change in my direct experience of reality, however, the 'problem' of other and world is certainly not solved here, and a true full awakening can't use negations such as 'No' the heart yearns for fulfilment and love, we will get to that. I then had an awakening into 'Being Everything/ God/ All, this is an expansion from 'No Self' into EVERYTHING being me, honestly it's very blissy and this was like a honeymoon stage for me, I was lost in life and the bliss of this awakening, to be honest, this was incredibly fun and it's easy to see why many don't move past this, as you also gain incredible 'Cosmic' knowledge, you could call it a 'Cosmic Self' as such, the space of presence in this awakening was incredible. You become the Universe. However, it isn't the end, as there is still an indentity as 'Everything/ Universe' etc, Nisgardatta wrote this awakening as the 'First Big Step.' However, this stage is not the Absolute, it goes beyond that. Next, was my awakening into Love, and this is also amazing. Realizing all is Love and Love is the substance of everything is fucking amazing, this is the next 'step' beyond being ALL and explains why teachers such as Mooji and Bentino Massano have so many scandals, as an awakening into this love has not happened, so while awakened, scandals are still possible at that stage. This awakening also made me kinda obsessed with my teachers, my love for them and those around me deepened beyond words, even for random people in the street, I was also starting to show and feel emotions much more, a simple move about the injustice of 0 hour contracts in the UK made me ball, as a 7 this was a key step to my journey as I was so keen to avoid and escape negative emotions instead of embrace and feel them. However, in modern times, traditional paths are not followed as much so it's easy to not get caught up here like many mystics of the past who couldn't let God or their Guru go. 'If you see Buddha in the street, kill him' fits well here. A surrender into the unknown is essential though, a deep unthinkable surrender, but the love you experience is beyond amazing, and is of course worth surrendering the 'Cosmic Knowledge' for, this can be especially hard for us westerners. Look at Ken Wilber for example as the perfect example of a guy who has not done this, he loves his models and cosmic knowledge, I love his work and am by no means shitting on him, just to illustrate what I mean by 'cosmic knowledge.' My next awakening was incredibly fun to say the least, a realization of the absolute. I won't lie I became a bit of a hermit for a while as realization of the absolute is so god damn beautiful and astounding it can be easy to get lost here, you realize ALl is The Self, the mind is completely dropped, knowledge is dropped, the 'other' is seen through, however it's like putting a slight protective cave between yourself and the world, instead of embracing THIS as it is, you want to control your environment to suit the bliss, the peace etc and as a result subtly reject the world, there is one final step to make. Common theme here is Monks who go off and live alone, or those who create a perfect environment for peace, although these don't always mean one is here, they are common markers. And, then we arrive to now, my most recent awakening into the true absolute, into true Self-Realisation in all it's glory. THIS IS IT, means THIS IS IT, this moment as it is is perfect beyond words, the ordinary is the very extraordinary you are after, what more could there be than THIS. This very planet is the Buddha planet, is heaven, is Nirvana, not some special space you can attain when you gain your enlightenment wings and fly off. The absolute includes absolutely everything, it is beyond enlightenment and non-duality, all concepts are washed away and the World is seen to be The Supreme Self. everyone is seen to be the Self and The Absolute is all there is. There is NO enlightened person, no other, no mind, no knowledge and of course no world just The Self. This resolves the issue of Duality and Non-Duality, as ALL is the Self, ALL can be embraced and enjoyed, it embraces both non-duality and duality, hence the ordinary becoming the extraordinary, 'duality' embodies truth as much as anything else, EVERYTHING is included, go embrace the world as it is. It is impossible to put into words as everything has become so 'ordinary' again, yet it will never be the same, the best phrase I have seen is 'Transcendental Duality' but that just adds concepts and can be confusing, it is basically pointing to THIS right now. Seeking is over. This as it is is perfect, the Ego will try hard to fight this of course, as will the mind, but resistance leaves you, you go beyond any form of concepts around this work, whatever arises now will be embraced and enjoyed. I am unlikely to do it justice with words, but that explains my 8 month journey working with Ananda so far, it's been fucking amazing to say the least, if you have any questions about RASA drop them below, I get they'll be a LOT of skepticism and thinking wtf is this guy on about, but I'm used to that by now. In terms of what's next? Just go enjoy life. Do what you love, and love what you do. Whether that's starting a business (a conscious one of course ) or becoming a Spiritual teacher, or even going to work in starbucks, just do whatever you want. You will be free and Happy, the seeking is over and all that is left is to enjoy the game of life, for me Happiness, fun and enjoyment are always at the top of my to do lists, if I don't love what I do, I see no need to carry on doing it, of course you have to be practical about this. Oh, and of course, whatever you do at this stage will always come from Love, therefore, desire as big as you well please, with Love as your driving force you have the world at your fingertips, it doesn't mean you become passive at all. Personally, I am in the process of growing my businesses, playing sports, having fun with friends, deepening my relationships, helping people grow their businesses and more importantly Living NOW. In the future, I wish to become someone to help facilitate awakening, not just a teacher, but a 'finisher' who actually helps awaken people to the Absolute, however I'll only be waking up myself, time after time Happy new year everyone!

Why does the mood change after enhanced enlightenment? Because you are back at where you started, just screaming Oh My God in your mind. Have you noticed that your value system is changing with Actualization? So thats what will happen again, but very radically. ENLIGHTENMENT IS RADICAL. If you are caring about your mood dude... I have no words for such sloppyness.. You said: "I honestly would prefer to be a ignorant and having the bliss that Leo had in his beginnings" There is a great cost to spirituality, but Leo mentioned this a lot of times already now, so you should become aware. Ignorance and Bliss are nice for the moment but not sustainable, and if you are a true seeker, you cant stop but find. From your comment, I dont think you are, so dont worry about not being ignorant anymore

I've struggled with my fair share of addiction over time, maybe I can be of use. What Leo said in the video is that all addiction is ultimately caused by a lack of emotional maturity- in other words, the inability to sit by yourself, in a room, and not have neurotic compulsions. Neuroses is in essence the inability to let something go. I've found that to be true in my personal experience. The other thing which I noticed was that I simultaneously held 2 conflicting beliefs in my mind. The first belief was that I wanted to stop my compulsion. The other belief was that I found immense pleasure in my compulsion and that I wanted to do it. Can you see why that might cause problems? As long as you are attached to the desire to indulge in your compulsion- you will continue to be an addict. Notice what I said there. I didn't say, "as long as you have the desire to indulge in your compulsion- you will continue to be an addict." I said "As long as you are attached to the desire to indulge in your compulsion- you will continue to be an addict." This is a critical distinction. Our thoughts only have as much power over us as we allow them to. What you feed grows and what you starve dies. What I would recommend to you my friend is that you take up a daily meditation habit- one to two hours in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. If you want maximum results you will go into a state of meditation immediately upon waking- before checking your phone, before eating breakfast, maybe after taking a piss. And you will meditate yourself to sleep in the evenings. This will do wonders for rewiring the neurons in your brain. You don't have to do that. Then again if you don't it's likely going to be much more difficult to break your addiction. As for the specific meditation you should partake in? Let me leave you a quick description of one that might be of use- luckily for you I just typed this out for another member of the forum on direct message a couple of hours ago. Make sure you are in an environment conducive to what you want to achieve. Turn the lights off, lay in bed, and play some light music. If you are doing this first thing in the morning- a seated meditation is ideal so you don't fall back asleep. Here is a link to the playlist which I created for my personal meditation sessions- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjckAW85ACTUqMtt_chUf-ksdiT1VoyP_ - I'd recommend clicking on the video titled "The new butterfly effect," that is a very peaceful tune as are the videos next up, but experiment with what speaks to you. Definitely do one of the either 417hz, 432hz, or 528hz. Butterfly is 432hz. If you are living in a shared environment, use headphones, otherwise, play the music softly. If you are having serious trouble completing this meditation, put on a pair of headphones and utilize the first video in the playlist, a theta binural beats session. Trust yourself. Stay on each part of this meditation until you feel it is proper to move on to the next part. Take your time. This is all for you. Begin by relaxing your body. Take deep breaths, in for 5 seconds, out for 5 seconds. Move your awareness to your toes, and relax them. Move your awareness the soles of your feet, and relax them. Do this for each individual part of your body, releasing all tension, all the way to the scalp. Next, move your awareness to your heart center, and start to visualize a ball of energy, it can be any color you like, spinning in a circle counterclockwise. The longer your awareness is on this ball of energy the larger it grows, until it eventually surrounds your body, and then fills the entire room. Take your time with this. Feel the gratitude provided to you from your generous heart. Realize that it wants nothing more than to see you in a state of love. As you maintain your awareness on the energy around your heart center, release any attachment you hold to your thoughts- good, bad, these are all simply labels we create in our minds. Accept, and love every thought which passes through your mind, and do so from a state of total detachment from them, without judgement. If you catch yourself getting carried away by a thought, that's okay, just bring your awareness back to your breath, to your heart, to the present moment. Now you are in the operating system of your brain- the subconscious mind. Your analytical mind should be powerless- it truly only has the power parallel to the level of attachment you hold. While keeping your awareness in the space around your heart center, cultivate gratitude. What are you grateful for? You are alive. You are breathing. Look at the beautiful mechanism by which all of this is happening. Truly you need no reason to feel gratitude. Reason is a limitation provided to you by your ego. You can simply choose to feel gratitude. Set the intention. Notice the difference between desire and intention. Feel the desire to move your arm up. Now actually move your arm up. Notice that difference? The second one was intention. Become familiar with this energy and that is what you will use to cultivate the emotions you seek. From gratitude set the clear intention to cultivate love and appreciation. From love and appreciation cultivate joy and bliss. From joy and bliss cultivate freedom and the feeling of being unlimited. Notice how I do not say try to do these things. Just do them. They exist within you right now. The next thing that you're going to do is bless your energy centers, starting with the root chakra. As you're doing this, maintain the elevated emotions you just cultivated. What emotion is your choice. Bliss, freedom, infinity, gratitude, appreciation, joy, all good choices. Begin by placing your awareness, your focus, inside of your perineum, and hold it there for as long as you please, whatever feels proper to you. Next, you will move your awareness to the space around the perineum, and, same as before, hold it there as long as you please. Both pieces of this meditation, the internal focus on the energy center and then the focus on the space around it, are essential, as is the elevated emotion. Once you have finished with your root chakra, repeat that same process for the space right below and behind your bellybutton. From there, repeat the process for the space in the pit of your gut. From there, to inside your chest, behind the center of the breastbone. Next, to the center of the throat. Next, to the space between your throat and the back of your head, inside your head of course. From there, to the space in the center of your head. And finally, to the space approximately 16 inches above your head. Now, maintain that practice for as long as you'd like. The longer you are cultivating these elevated emotions the better. Once you feel grounded in these emotions, I want you to do a breathing technique that will work wonders in tandem with that portion of the meditation, and this breath is something you can truly do any time you feel energy getting locked in the lower energy centers, and it will elevate your state of being. Your breath should still be very relaxed. To perform this breathing technique, begin by ensuring you're in a position where your spine is straight, as it most likely already is. Begin to take a long, deep breath in through your nose, to the base of your spine. When you feel your breath apply pressure to the pelvic floor, contract your perineum- maintain the contraction and inhalation. Follow your breath, and when it fills your lower abdomen, begin to contract that as well. Same thing for your upper abdomen. Now, you should have the area of your body from your perineum to upper abdomen contracted. Inhale as full as you can while maintaining those contractions, and move your awareness to the very top of your head. Hold your breath for as long as comfortable, while maintaining your contractions and awareness of the head. As you exhale, release the contractions. You can perform that breath as many times as you'd like, it should assist with the meditation session. Now, simply meditate. Remain detached from your thoughts. Maintain elevated emotions. Do this for as long as you please. The longer you do it the more grounded you will make this state of being throughout the rest of the day, especially if you begin your day with this meditation. My friend, you have the power to win this battle. But it will not be a battle won in arms or in strength- it will be a battle of peace. A test of your ability to remain calm in the face of adversity. To simply say- "you know what, I don't even have to entertain that thought!" Remain detached. You got this. I'd also recommend Leo's videos on how to overcome a victim's mentality, it could be very beneficial. Godspeed My friend, medicine and meditation are not mutually exclusive domains. Medical professionals have a multitude of flaws in their own right. And "New Age" ahhahahaahha I wish I had the laughing emoji This stuff has been taught for multiple millennia It is you who knows not of what they speak of May you find peace