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A few days before my grandma passed, here usual face of which was a mixture of happiness but with a lot of anger and contempt for life was radically transformed into pure bliss. I wasn't their at the time, but my mom sent me a picture of my grandma's face a few days before she passed and I have never seen a more authentic smile. It was like a life time of penny-pinching and blaming others fell away. Maybe she saw a glimpse of enlightenment or God, I am not sure. but I can say, seeing this photo of her changed my life. I fear death so much less now that I used to.

I am tired of this, I want to die, can't take it anymore, Deception, lies, manipulation all they know, God If you're really in me, give me the power to rise above all this, Rise above this cycle, I'm really so tired of all this, And it seems to go nowhere, I just want to die to pure bliss, Give me that, my Lord, I am tired and fed up of the chimpery, Please I want to give you my life completely, It's not worth living seems like, better if you just kill me at birth, I don't want to live it's so ugly, Disgusting, can't take anymore, Give me the forever peace, make me desireless, Please God, take my fears away, this world is not for me.

My 2 cents: Let's say there's a hardcore stage orange CEO sitting in his office. He sees this video and says: Okay, this sounds pretty good. Let me try get into the present moment and see what happens. He gets into the present moment and literally nothing (with lower case n) happens. He just doesn't experience bliss, peace, love, enlightenment, etc. He's confused and doesn't understand what's going on. Well, he's still strongly identified with his thoughts, emotions and ego unconsciously. There's fear, attachements, confusion and hardcore conditioning beneath the surface. No wonder he can't experience the power of Now.

It is a difficult path, perhaps the most difficult one there is. And I'm not perfect at it at all. I'm still falling back into my old self and patterns. No wonder why people don't choose it. It is a grind against everyone and everything in life. It is the ultimate suffering. And virtually nobody wants to suffer. There's a deep wisdom behind this path, and rarely anyone sees it. It's not about my joy and happiness. It's about the world and how corrupt it is. People confuse this path with a stage Blue religious belief, but they're unable to see beyond their egos. For me, the easiest thing to do is to go with the flow. I am a master at that. I've spent the past two years drowning in pleasures, from one thing to another, but it's not satisfying anymore. Going with the flow means turning a blind eye to the suffering of others. I can deny it all I want, but it'll still be there, even if I don't suffer on a personal level. I feel responsible for the suffering of others, and that's the best I could currently do to neutralise things. Happiness is ignorance. It is an unconscious reaction that plays out after a certain period of suffering. It is a comforting story for the ego. The ego never chooses the difficult path, but nothing lasts forever. I am getting more convinced that this is the right path. And old wisdom backs me up on this. Old sages certainly had valid reasons for preaching about this path. It's only these new-agey flaky teachers that don't seem to have gone full-circle, nor are responsible for their words that advocate 'the path of least resistance', and 'following your bliss'. That's the perfect bait for an ego. The ego wants nothing else more than a world purely made for its own sake. And sure enough, you will face a lot of these, dying to defend their ignorance. However, in no way I'm advocating for going to the extremes and torturing oneself. I'm simply trying to balance things out. Mad people thing they should know!

In my awakening, I had the following clear insights: We are all one There is only Love energy True love is unconditional The Ego does not exist The true I AM is completely indestructible The true I AM is everywhere - in the mountains, in the rivers, in birds (the same words that I uttered during the glimpse) Life has a harmonious design Everything that I ever knew was an illusion and a lie. There is no such thing as time and space There is bliss and ecstasy hidden underneath the illusion These insights have stayed with me since the initial awakening and they have matured deeply. However, my monkey mind doesn't understand what Nothingness means because in the awakening, the awareness had a characteristics of Love. So, it is not even Love? Is there more beyond it?

I tried today the new plugging technique Calmness shared (Thank you!) and all I can say that it really makes a difference how deep you put 5 meo in your ass. Set: normal mood. was not afraid at all. Setting: 20 hour fasting. Had a shit 1 hour before. 7 mg hcl rectal (administered it standing, put it inside my ass up to the 0,4 ml mark), waited for 15 seconds and then sat on a stool. Eyes opened. Trip: Effects came much much faster than the last try I plugged 7 mg. In my last try where I put the syringe too deep up to the 0,6 ml mark I felt nothing at all. Now effects came after 40 seconds. It was an ugly feeling mixed with fear, then the heart beat was rising again and I was breathing faster. It was unpleasant so I closed my eyes because there I can concentrate more on my rapid breathing. I wanted to slow it down but then I realized I cannot control my breath in this situation very much. It was just so rapid and heavy so I let it be. After 2 minutes this heart beating and heavy breathing was over. I opened my eyes. I looked at the wall but it was a little strange like I could see the air in the room? Is this common on 5 meo? But this was too subtle so I dont know if It was just imagination. After some minutes a little wave of bliss came ( but not so strong, like after a good meditation I get these too). This was pleasant and lasted for 5 minutes.

Yes! Of course! I had an awakening that totally fucked up my life, bliss states for days, incredible realizations, inexplicable events, etc. All of that though, was the result of letting go, the "awakening" was nothing, a non-event sandwiched between batshit crazy event + intuition, and batshit crazy + bliss, realization. The realizations themselves were just sudden awareness OF things I was holding on to. I had no control over it happening. It didn't happen to anyone. When questioned (mostly) everything VeganAwake saying is right. I was there, I was going to take Eckhart Tolle's present moment with me to my grave, holding on to it. This really is a hilarious predicament. It's NOTHING. NOTHING! It's THIS!

Growing confusion and "lostness" is a sign of growth, and infact should be expected. Infact, if you aren't confused, I'd be worried haha. When the confusion gets metaphysical it becomes more and more beautiful and pleasure filled. I think how it's meant to work is, the confusion increases and eventually gives birth to silence, then as that silence grows peace grows more and more then it gives birth to bliss and you just fall into the bliss forever and forget all seeking, which is of course only appropriate *after* these levels of development have been achieved. I can't wait lol The mistake is when someone chooses to stop seeking. The discovery should be so ground-breakingly powerful that you stop seeking by accident

@Winny be verrrrry careful my friend. There is an ASTONISHINGLY HUGE difference between *believing* this and *realising* this. Believing: - a small sense of increases knowledge - new thoughts by which you operate - a changed mental standpoint. [Deep] Realization: - you become fully and literally immortal forever - all of reality falls around you as huge degrees of confusion and ecstasy meet - you a thrown into a new world of tangible pleasure and beauty, the likes of which you could never have imagined. - thoughts and reality merge and you become Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Allah all at the same time in an explosion of infinity...bliss is your new world.

Maybe a purpose to live into is to help awaken others so they too can experience the wonderful love and bliss you’ve felt. In that way you’ll be doing “God’s work.”

Hey I was promised bliss and eternal happiness not fear and death. I got ripped off.....

It was years ago but I had a bliss kind of thing happen the next morning after I had my wisdom teeth out. Thought it was the pain meds but, no, it was some sort of short lived after effect from the anesthesia.

All the fear of this dream is revealed to be an illusion. We are talking about becoming God here - there is nothing bigger! You will know bliss like never before.

I think Osho said it best: Ignorance is Bliss! I guess you miss out then

??☮️ I envy those who can plug man. I cannot. Neither can I snort (I'm pretty sure). ...I haven't had any real bad experiences with 5meo yet. I don't expect it either, I expect a happy trip because when I do that I feel like it's more likely to happen. All I can remember is this realm I went to on 5meo where it was 150% pure bliss weighing heavily on me. I could feel this weight of waves of indescribable bliss hitting my face, it was so heavy I couldn't open my mouth. For me, I know which direction I'm heading especially in a DMT/5meo trip, I'd recommend to approach the pipe slowly, be comfortable with it's presence first. Sit with it, then in a state of positive thinking and visualisation, take the hit. Maybe this will push you in a slightly more pleasant direction like with myself. ?

@VeganAwake If there really is 'no one' "there" as you say, why is it so important for 'no one' to get confirmation from others if 'no one' is liberated or not? Another thought for who/what? 'No one', right? So if there is no one to be concious or unconscious of anything in the first place, why are you then asking these questions? When you say "conscious me", what do you mean exactly? Do you mean some part of the person/separate mind/'soul' - like personality, preferences, memories, habits, beliefs, ideas, knowledge, dreams, world-views? Because if that's what you're talking about with "conscious me" then of course that will die with the physical body, because both the physical body & the person-mind is not really *real* in the first place; it's just imagination. Only that which is actually *real* cannot die, because it was never born either. It has no form, no attributes, no limits and it's not dependent on anything (like "time" or "space" for instance). But everything else: e.g. time, physics, space, form, matter, objects, physical reality, mind, thoughts, emotions, sensations, sense of self, sense of-no-self, ... IS dependent on it. What words would you use to describe that/it ?? (well knowing that it has no attributes and that all words used therefore are only pointers, nothing else). In other words: to you, what is that which is real and cannot die? What words will you use? Personally, I'd like to use the following words interchangeably: Consciousness, Love, God, The Absolute. These 4 words are all pointers to exactly the same thing, for me. It is what I am, ultimately. It is what you are, ultimately. It's all One (Oneness could be a 5th word). It is what just is beyond the body, beyond the apparent external world, beyond the apparent separate mind/persona. We could call it Pure Being as well (6th word, hello). It is not just beyond everything, it is also the source & substance of everything. It is also that which experiences everything (body, mind, world, etc.) ... It is that which imagines everything/all forms into existence ... out of itself ... to itself ... by itself. There is nothing else than it. Nothing is outside of it. And nothing is inside of it either, because The Absolute is infinite,... so it has no inside, no outside. It just is what actually IS. So all 'illusory things' (body, mind, other humans, the physical world, space, time, matter) are ALSO *that*. Nothing is not that and simultaneously it is nothing either. The real, unreal. The unreal, real. Form is emptiness, emptiness is form. That is why I told you to go out and look on the sky and take a talk while enjoying the sun and some music. Cos that is fucking IT. There is nothing else than THAT. (All my and your word games here are just pure fucking nonsense-conceptual-bullshit, ultimately speaking). Eckhart Tolle talks a lot about it. He calls it "The Now" / "The Present Moment" (7th word, hello). “Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to “die before you die” and find that there is no death.” What Tolle means by this, is simply that all that really exists is The Now. It is what you are. The Present Moment is all you got - it is you! The Now is eternal and infinite. It was never born, it will never die. It is nothing and everything at the same time. The Now is pure bliss in its essence. It is Samadhi. Samsara is seen to be Nirvana itself. The very world we walk on is seen to be Heaven. World, Heaven. Heaven, world. Nirvana, Samsara. Samsara, Nirvana. It's all ONE. (Non-duality 101, remember). Jesus said it: "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you". When you see this -- no, feel this, more importantly -- that all dualities collapse into each other (right in front of your eyes, and inside you, too); that is when I'd say 'a person' is truly awakened, although you are also right: it happens to 'no one' ... because 'no one' is exactly what God / The Self / Love / Consciousness / The Absolute *is*. You see? It is no one. It is not WaveInTheOcean, it is not Trump, it is not Leo, it is not VeganAwake, it is not any body, any words, any thoughts, any emotions, it is not any thing; it is nothingness..., and therefore by the virtue of being nothing, it is simultaneously also everything, you see ?? (( But remember: words are still only pointers. Don't get stuck in believing in words/concepts. Replacing concepts with direct experience is the biggest trap in this work )) So after the body dies, all that will go on living eternally is that which already were eternal. No one. God. Love. Consciousness. Whatever you wanna call it. It is YOU (ultimately) and it is ME ultimately (not as the separate selfs we can think we are, no no, I should have made that clear by now). We could also use a 8th word: The Self (Sri Ramana Maharshi liked to call 'it' that). Consciousness / The Self / 'no one' / "spaghetti monster" / Love / God is that which imagines the body and the mind. It is that which is playing it is a separate self, i.e. a human being. It is that which imagines thoughts, imagines feelings, imagines 'other', imagines 'self, imagines 'no one', imagines 'God', imagines 'love', imagines monters, dragons, stones, physics, time, space, all possible words, concepts and sensations. In other words, that which is wearing the mask will remain infinite and eternal after the mask dies (mask = body/person-mind/memories). You see? <3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ From another thread: Who/what then recognize that recognition of <there's no one' here> ??? ... No one? But who/what then recognizes that the recognition of <there's no one here> is recognized by no one? ... No one ? But ... and you see where I'm going with this ... <3 Again, let me quote you here: Who has received confirmation? You say that there are no one 'here', right? And yet, you are also saying that no one then went over to some other 'enlightened masters' to get confirmation that there truly were no one 'here'? . How did that go about, really? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I do understand what 'Liberation' is. It is a word. Like 'boobs' or 'underwear'. Could it be ---- just be open to this possibility; as you say, we should practice unknowing ---- that it is not "no-one/God/Consciousness" through the WaveInTheOcean-avatar who is stuck in concepts from others, but that it is instead "no-one/God/Consciousness" through the VeganAwake-avatar who is stuck in concepts from others, such as from "Liberation Unleashed Guides" ?? I read the guides you linked to, and they all seemed fine and full of spiritual wisdom (to me, probably not to my dad or mother), but they are still just meaningless words on their own. Don't trust or look at the "words / the finger pointing to" ..... but instead trust "your own direct experience / the moon". Bless you brother And by the way, I don't care if any people in my life or on this forum consider me awakened or not. All I want for my friends, family and all people in this world, including you, is the same that I have received in form of lasting peace, love and happiness*. To be actual happy is really all that matters, and I really want all others to be happy, cos all others are me. I'm just very egoistical, you see? I want myself to be happy at all times. I just know 'myself' is not just WaveInTheOcean's private mind, but every single other mind in the whole multiverse. They are me. So to answer my question: I couldn't be less curious what others think of me. What I know is my own inner subjective experience. I don't need others to validate anything in me. I am complete. You can call me misslead or self-fooled or awakened or enligthened. What does it matter, what words you and others project onto me? Nothing. It really changes nothing inside me. Inside me there is only peace and happiness and love to self and other. It is not dependent on any validation or anything. I don't know if I'm liberated (by your book), and I couldn't care less. For what it is worth, my best friend since childhood called me "legendary" two days ago at a party when he was drunk (I wasn't, I'd never want to be drunk again, no point anymore for me... I am already drunk and high on life sober). He said I was the most fantastic and unique human being he had ever met. LOL. I told him I loved him too, haha. He's cute and such a nice friend. Not spiritual at all, unfortunately. But you can't force friends. Show, don't tell. Let's see where's he's at in 10 years;D ... In 2 weeks I'm going to a cottage with him and my little brother and another really close friend (they are both much more spiritual) and we are all going to take a bit of 2C-B and/or shrooms. Hopefully, my good non-spirutal friend will soon be on the path, but if not, that is also fine. He's already ultimately perfect, just like everything else. It just saddens me to see people -- i.e myself -- suffer. * It did come at a price two years ago though, where I was in such a deep 'victim-poor-little-me-depression' that I almost killed myself (everything was planned, just couldn't do the last step of actually jumping due to the love towards my family). I still get close to tears when I think about the contrast of that period of my life (felt like an eternal bad nightmare LSD trip) to my current state of mind / life, and how close I was to ending it (all imagination, though, so maybe I did end it in another dream, but luckily not in this dream, ehehe). But as Jesus once said: "The heavenly highs you are capable of reaching, are proportional with the unacknowledged abyss you have the courage to sink down to." ... or maybe it was someone else who said it.

I did sort of work up to those doses 100-200-500-1000 was the progression which is super idiotic buuuuut my memory is kinda hazy for the night. I went to the bathroom when it hit, went to my friend and said I don't think ill like it. Tried to puke and I got so hot I had to run outside to cool down. He sat out there with me, I was laying in the driveway, him watching over me my mind completely overrun. Visuals taking over my vision..it felt intelligent. Like buddhist monks, I saw time itself. Once I came down we came back in the house and laid down. My come down was an instant realization of "oh my god, everything is one" and I was filled with bliss by this realization. I told my friend I think this would be a very important moment. And to this day, that night started my true journey. I heard people talking so much "crazy shit" them telling me to just do more lsd well it took 1000ug to break me out of my rational-scientific-logical restraints. Don't recommend, but its one hell of a path.

"Ego is illusionary but it is in the body as thoughts and contractions in the body. After awakening seeking stops and the practice changes to untangle these contractions within the body. By doing that these contractions start to fade away and the ego diminishes. It becomes more and more subtle." Thoughts are not a problem. Contractions, sure. Ego is that. It's tension. A background feeling of fear, lack all the time. "The separation is gone but the separate self energy or contractions in the body remains." Seperation is gone, conceptually, but not emotionally, is that what you're saying? Then you are awakened in mind, but are not fully there yet, in regards to heart. Awakening of heart = inner peace 24/7, pure bliss, no worries, free expression of Love I mean, I am awakened/liberated beyond doubt, hehe, but I still function as a humen being, as you can see, I am writing meaningless words to you. I still like blueberries over raspberries. I still prefer quality toilet paper over rough toilet paper. i still prefer beautiful girls over ugly girls in regards to who I'd like to have sex with. etc etc. I still have ego, you see? Ego is not a problem. Not being conscious of ego is a problem, tho, relatively speaking. But as you say, the tension, the contractions in body and mind of being a separate self that could die, yes, I know these, I had them all my life -- they aint nice --, and they disappeared 1 month ago after a deep 2cb-trip where I cried 4 hours straight by realizing I was God and that I'd always been God. (=Love). So in that sense I have died before I have died. There is no fear of death anymore, no background fear at least. Of course if a bear crawled into my bedroom I'd probably scream and jump out of the window. As I said, free expression, no resistance. Depression is the opposite of free expression, and in that sense we could say 90%+ of all human ppl are depressed. they just dont know it.

Where? Death to who? Let's be real. Death is death is biological death. I can put a knife in your heart and your body dies. That's death. So I'm very glad to hear that this has not happened! lol Of course, you may be talking about ego-death. But ego-death is such a funny concept, because there is no self that can die in the first place. Ego-death to me just refers to the dissolving of all bondaries between what you used to call 'me' and 'other.' Or we could call ego-death pure being without any sense of self, any thoughts, just pure being, pure bliss. Of course 'the sense of a separate self' as a feeling is very real for 99% of people. That sense of separate-selfness can die. It has died for me, but not to you? Is that what mr. A-cba-to-learn-to-spell-that-name is talking about?

Do you mean thoughts? Or only identification with thoughts? Thoughts are never a problem. Thoughts are Love like everything that else that arises. Thoughts are (like everything else) qualia-like-subjective-experiences put into you by The Universe/Love/God/The Self/Your True Self/"No One" . Thoughts are amazing man. I love all my thoughts. All of them. I didn't do that pre-awakening, necessarily. Again, the problem is only identifcation with thoughts, taking them seriously, believing they are your own doing, believing they tell something absolutely true. They never do. Thoughts are just play man, Love, play. Enligtenment is not equal to a state of no-thoughts. That is a trap to believe that. The funny thing is, though, that when you love all your thoughts and stop worrying about them, then you can easily focus on the present and immerse yourself in it and no thoughts will come, but only pure bliss. As long as you believe thoughts are a problem -- eg. when meditating -- they will keep coming, you can be sure of that lol!

You can get to a point where you dont have to meditate seriously anymore. Sometimes when I meditate I get a profound insight-download from Love and I write it down. Then I continue meditating in bliss afterwards.

Hello guys, i know i left couple days ago, i had a ego death almost for 1 week. Lol this morning me 22 hours ago (james) completely died unfortunately:) and I have become enlightened (probably permanent satori). I know you guys tell me, yo if you become enlightened you will have no needs to tell us. No. You guys are all me you guys lie to me that i am a fucking human. Bunch of liars and great actors Let me tell you what james is, he think he can know something ,he born, human, male, in the body (because it can feel, know what the worlds is, reality, funny, ugly, good, bad vs. But this guy was stuck in words. Because, Thoughts (which are completely illusion) created him. If he never learned in his life, he will have no idea what the fuck he is. He cant even know what “seeing” or “being” is. After my ego death I completely realized (no psychedelics) i am not in the body, james is just a thought. I literally created this james and all universe from thoughts. I am the really nothing in the body thats why i am everything in the moment. Only thoughts creates this world or duality. Actually, really nothing is happening here with this consciousness (it is like meditating with no thoughts all day) when you dont think. This is only way to explain is you are in deep sleep but awake. i cant think much anymore , because there is no “I” as body. If i have something to do with body i use duality to connect with the people or world, in the rest i am the moment, which is all free you can do anything with moment, it is all free. Thats why it is all LOVE, moment is you so what will you do, you will lLOVE whatever comes in the moment or you can definitely stay in satori and watch yourself get away from duality and stop the existence and be the void (your truth self or nothingness). In easy way to explain it, everytime when you close your eyes, If you dont think, you will never know what are you where are you vs. Because i cant think much anymore, i have become so aware because i am the moment, and existence created by thoughts. If i dont think, i(moment, and my love as moment) am in satori. When thought comes you are completely aware that it is xoming from duality and if you dont like it you have nothing do with that, because you are the moment, nothing is in the body. There is no duality, all is you. Right or left don’t matter. There is no future or past only thoughts makes it, you are the every moment (as nothing) that you are aware of. And let me tell you how i see the world, i am literally watching a fucking movie with vr, and i take the life seriously as the game. My vision is back to normal, but i am the void that watched the movie anymore. In this game everyone programmed that i am a human, this place is world, i am in the body vs. But i am not god, not human, not awareness, vs. i have no idea what am i or what you guys are, WE HAVE NO NAME. Whatever you assume is not you. From ultimate perspective because of you are nothing and everything, you can never think because even words are you, when you become nothing therefore everything, you see that all happening is you. Thats why nothing is happening. You guys can tell me why dont you go drink poisin instead of water, because nothing is happening and all is me. NO. I am the void, which is aware of being human (as soon as words get in duality comes in), therefore i have to drink water in order to discover myself (so called life) in human body. But literally all happening is me, therefore there is not even blink happening here. DEEPEST SLEEP BUT YOU ARE AWARE. Or just remember the moment that you literally didn’t think anything and nothing happened, but somehow you are there with no name (i dont even want to say awareness ), but you know you are aware or something like that. Thats how every second goes when i dont think. Thoughts come from james, who helps me to connect and understand the duality. I am literally half human and half void anymore. My vision become the tv screen i am the emptiness like POV. Literally, my mind get bigger, i transformed or reborned. This body will die, i will never. Because i am the moment, AND MOMENT NEVER DIESSSSS. It is so bliss here. So much. And about death, what will happen when this body dies? If you are aware that any thoughts is an illusion, you will never die, because you were never born, you are the screen and projector of movie theater, if you project movie (so called seeing from the eye), movie will play, when body dies projector just wont project the movie but you are still the screen. So death is an Illusion, nothing will happen. You will never be gone, you are the SCREEN whatever movie plays (thoughts are those movies) So if you really don’t attach with thoughts, either your eyes open or close nothing will happen, you will never die. Because, when thoughts stop projector stop playing the movie and thats how you become enlightened. i am the moment, iam not infinite, but i have no beginning end no end therefore i am infinite. I(moment) will never die and born. I am literally immortal. Because, moment will never STOPPPP LOVEEEE i cant believe we even imagine that we can learn forget to be human lol lol I miss you guys (All of you is meee) Additionally, you can never be complete god when you are aware of the body, even if you are the nothingness. Because even knowing the language or being aware of body is duality, when you become complete god whatever happens you are it thats why you are everything here and nothing happens. If absolute nothing happens, i am completely here as nothing, thats why i am not here. And in these moments, only i am (void, nothing)Thats why when i am not aware of this body all the existence fades away. Everything stop existing. This place is all me, love is purring, i am in loveee with myself, which is all you. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU.

@JayG84 How has your progression been? I'd say it's been tremendous in the last 5 years. I used to be anxious and I was constatly worrying about nonsense things. If I didn't have anything to worry about, I unconsciously created some BS reason, just so I could keep on worrying. I was lonely, I didn't have goals. So basically I was a mess. Now it's much-much better. I can keep a chill attitude whatever happens in my life because I can handle my emotions in an effective way, I have goals, I have friends, I have hobbies and I have a vision for my future. Of course I still have issues to figure out and I'm far from being perfect, but nowadays my life is not an unconscious mess at all (as it used to be). I even enjoy it What are some of the hurdles you've had to overcome? Listening to gurus and other people when it came to my spiritual journey instead of following my own intuitions, spiritual bypassing, not doing shadow work Have to had any non-dual states of awareness? None so far. There were 2 times when I felt a huge wave of bliss during meditation. I wouldn't call them mystical experiences, but they were really awesome. I'd be lying if I said I'm not intereseted in non-dual states because I am, but I don't want to fall into the trap of chasing fleeting experiences either. I haven't tried psychedelics yet but for some reason and I don't feel the need to do so, at least right now. I'll try them in the future, I think. How about your spiritual journey so far?

@George Paul Awakening seems to be an experience that happens to a person. It's an experience of what's true merging with what's false in a way that it never has before. It's sort of an in and out insight, a realization for the first time that there's no you, and sheer possibility, love and bliss floods in. None of our distinctions are actually real, so I guess that's the reason for this phenomenon. The person can own this experience, or use it as a map, meant to be put away after the destination is reached. Awakening is not it, in the same way that being given a key to a treasure chest is not the treasure, even though you're incredibly overjoyed to have found that key. To anyone who believes that he is a self, other people will appear as selves, it doesn't matter what they've realized. Buddha or anyone else's realization is always going to be a story for the you, and part of you.

@AlwaysBeNice Of course, it comes and goes, and consciousness stays the same. But it's always reappearing, there's no end to it. I don't understand why some people kind of deny the suffering experienced by consciousness (I don't say youre doing!). Ok, may just be an illusion, just the resistance or whatever. But if it's not real, why don't I see any enlightened guy going to syria or offering himself instead of some guys at guantanamo or whatever. Even Jesus suffered at the cross! If pain is just an illusion and you can see through it, why do these people who claim to have achieved this, why are they're sitting calmly in their nice little armchairs instead of proving their fantasies by truly loving, sacrificing their nonexisting biochemical mashines in order to alleviate the suffering of those who still believe in the illusion? Of course it's all pointless you can say, it doesnt matter what they do, but they are speaking about love but they could love soooo much more!! the highest form of love means sacrifice for no selfish reason, not sitting in bliss telling others how stupid they are believing their life is real. Who knows? come on, you're also just repeating what others told you. That cannot be verified by "you". I don't wanna offend you or anything like that. Thanks for your contribution! This is not all meant to you, I just use your quotes to let my doubts flow. But I'm sick of anyone speaking in language relativizing others discriptions. Of course in the end it all just is for whatever reason. But the moment we verbalize it it becomes only a part of truth (at most). Accept that this was my experience, it appeared to be real to me, this is my interpretation of it. You may have never ever experienced something like that, so you can't put your experience above mine. You don't know who is more conscious. Maybe it's not just beautiful and bliss and love or whatever. Maybe that's just half of the story. Maybe your ego doesnt like it, maybe thats why you never faced it. There are so many pseudo-enlightened guys out there claiming to know everything. But most of them did not experience torture, suicidal desperation, complete dumbness, insanity or whatever. They're experiencing bliss and peace, maybe they went through some relatively tough times, but in the end they have a healthy body and are not willing to change their superior position with anyone, that's how truly loving most of them are. You know I don't trip for bliss states anymore. I trip with the intention to experience the truth, including the other side of the spectrum if necessary, too. Truth doesn't need to be blissfull in my eyes, maybe it is, maybe not. I keep searching for it as long as I'm a human. I don't claim not to be deluded, to know anything finally/absolutely, ALTHOUGH I have had breakthroughs on DMT and other stuff, "becoming" infinite, experiencing "nothing/the void", bursting out in love and whatever. It's all states of consciousness and back to my human form now I'm obviously not omniscient, and it can be distorted, twisted memories about it all. As long as there is a human living organism, it can by definition not contain everything, for it is just an infenitely small part and has its limitations by definition. If you believe something else, verify it and jump to the moon or whatever. Why did god create anything limited at all? Why did god create the illusion of suffering? If It's all perfect and complete from the beginning tell me why to change anything? Maybe in the end it absolutely makes no difference, but then you have to accept that all the torture and suffering is just an eternal part of the game. That there is the experience of infinite oneness and infinite loneliness and everything else. Of course there may be an even more existential onness behind those two compements, but that's not anything to talk about. The moment you open your mouth you can only talk relatively. If you want to talk about it, come to the level of experience, everything else makes no sense. When there's something behind/beyond experience every attempt to put it into words is a false game. It may be that the most conscious ones realize the deepest truth beyond all perception beyond all concepts beyond everything communicable and it is completely free from everything but why don't I see anyone of them beeing truly loving like Jesus? They still play the spiritual guru adored by their sheep, buy big mansions, fuck their girls and play their word games. If someone really got an infinitude of truth and peace, (s)he could share it by acting out of it, out of true love, not only talking about it. I wanna be truly loving, and it may mean that I go through torture, may mean that I feel absolutely lonely for a huge amount of time, may mean everything my ego doesn't like. It comes and it goes, the background of eternal consciousness stays the same. From one side it may be loneliness that made every seperation appear, from the other side it may be love that created the diversity. From one side god is running away from itself, from the other side god is running towards himself. God is always here and now. But every partial description aside from that may just be half of the story. So love may be an equal explanation as existential loneliness. Doesn't fit the ego which wants a positive end result, but may be the truth. So of course my experience and interpretation is not the absolute truth. But I don't want to avoid salvia or bad experiences just because they may horrify me. Suffering grows you. I could also just take the stuff that fills me with infinite love and bliss. But I think I will have to pay the price for it one day. Jeffrey Martin did some academic research on enlightenment (persistent non-symbolic experiences). He found out that people at various stages believed their nondual state of consciousness is eternal, could never regress. He proved that lots of them are quite deluded in many ways. When some of them fell back into a "normal human" state of consciousness, they often had deep crisis. Almost Everyone was really convinced they're at the end of the latter. Only when shifting between locations they realized there's more to it. Some locations are full of love, others are completely free of any feeling, just infinite freedom where nothing matters at all. They all claim to know the truth. As humans, we can only communicate states/experiences, not the absolute truth. What's absolute true is true for everyone, what can be known can be unknown, what can be gained can be lost. So nice if someone realizes himself. But as you use this termenology of realizing, you give rise to the fact that there is "unrealizing", too. If you can become enlightened, you can become unenlightened too. Everything is one already, including the tortured person that suffers and wants to end its life, feeling absolutetely lost and lonely, including the blissfull guru, buying its next mansion. Who's right? Its a game. A snake biting its own tail. The ego doesn't like that it may be a wheel turning over and over again. That after mahasamadhi it will be just reborn in suffering as it was already born there in the first place. The true relief may be to end the search for "more", for "better", and just to accept that everything is as it is, including the inescapable fact that you will always return to suffering one time, to feeling absolutely lonely, to experience times where you want to end your own existence. That's the role play consciousness is playing since eternity. Why else have you started here as a suffering human in the first place? You already exist for eternity, you would have won the game already when it could be won. And yeah I know, "You are not the human" blablabla.. But you experience it!! You experience or at least experienced seperatedness and suffering, although you are eternal. Guess why.