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Hi everyone, this a long one, with a lot said. I hope you can make out what I am trying to convey! Just to be up front, I also copied a few good quotes, or string of words from Leo’s most recent responses in the “I think Leo is triggering the insanity that is already within you” to help add to the context and intent of my “What’s Next” topic that I am sharing with you here, to help better explain some of the thoughts I sometimes have difficulty putting into words, which he says so beautifully and to the point. What I am sharing is some of my own experiences and awakenings I had on DMT almost 1.5 years ago. It has taken a long time to put my experiences into meaningful words that make sense to me, and hopefully to some potential readers. I find writing down my experiences has really helped me process my understanding of who I Am, which I find is always an ongoing experience and is always changing. So here goes! Before we get into Leo’s quotes, I will share a combination of experiences from several of my DMT trips. At the peak of one of my DMT trips, I experience nothing, I was nothing = consciousness. There was no Me. Then “I” (as in a thought “I”, for the sake of expressing the inexpressible) became aware of this huge limitless ocean of energy, no thoughts existed, just a sensation and texture of endless, boundless energy. Time did not exist. Eventually a thought transformed in, or from a Conscious (?) field of Energy. Once the thought appeared, a sudden orgasmic explosion of thoughts, ideas and imaginations occurred out of the formless field of Energy (for lack of better words) which seemed to have occurred from no-where. Love = consciousness “experienced” the All-That-Is, giving birth to everything, and everything was also imagined and was also nothing. (if that makes any sense) Am, as infinite space, imagining infinite Cosmoses within this infinite field of energy space, followed by our Universe, then galaxies, then Planets, Earth, Life on Earth, humans, Me, my family, friends, etc. I mean everything. But at the same time, Am was nothing within consciousness (difficulty to explain) No me, but everything at the same time. Everything seemed to be in a dream state. Eventually, “I”, not the Human Mind “I “, but also the Human Mind “I”, was in transition between the All-That-Is and my limited Human Mind. I felt Love, and at the same time felt alone. I was Love/awareness feeling the space of oneness, and at the same time I was this limited Human Mind with all these imagined experiences, and yet I was “Alone”, because I was aware of being “One”, simultaneously. (Don't get hung-up on the "I" please, I don't know how else to describe it) Thoughts were swirling around in this nebulous space of Love = consciousness = imagined Limited Human Mind. As I was slowly descending back into my Human Mind Consciousness, I started to question while sinking into my Human conscious Mind; Why should I bother returning to my imagined Human Mind and Body? Why “forget” most of who “I am”?...... I am One.... What’s the purpose of being a limited Human Mind and physical body? Everything is imagined, my family, friends, the pleasures and pains, the suffering and joys of duality are just a fabrication of the Mind, a huge infinite hologram imagined! It’s just a Dream! I tried several times to let my imagined limited human mind die, (an imagined psychological mind suicide, for lack of better words) to let it disappear into the empty canvas of nothingness = consciousness = Love, but to no avail. What I eventually realized is that there is no such thing as Life and Death. There is only a reduction or expansion of pockets of consciousness, within pockets of consciousness playing with pockets of limited states of Form and Formlessness, within the All-That-Is. Forgetting and un-forgetting. Focusing and narrowing consciousness away from the One consciousness. Flowing from one pocket of consciousness to another greater, lesser or equal pocket of consciousness, splitting pockets of consciousness within pocket of consciousness, expanding within and beyond pockets of consciousness of form and formless. Eventually I was aware of time, and I sensed consciousness slowly reduce its self to slip into a limited Human Mind, into the reality of form, and into my imagined body. (It seemed a long stretch of time had passed during the transition) It wasn’t until 5am (started around 9pm) when I was steady and conscious enough with the inner workings of my Mind and body connections, to be able to walk back to my room from the DMT ceremony. During the next several hours my mind swirled with thoughts, ideas and imaginations in what seemed to be a higher state of awareness. I was questioning; why am I here? What’s the point? I even imagined calling an imaginary taxi to pick me up from the imagined Ayahuasca center to take me to an imaginary desert, to bask in the imaginary sun and heat with my imaginary cold case of beer, and imagined the thought of “Just letting Go” of this imaginary dream. Expand to One! Expand to Love! Because it’s nothing but imagination, I can’t die! There is no death! There is no wife! There is no Earth! So why keep playing this imaginary game? I am One = Love = Consciousness = nothingness = Void! As I pondered my thoughts, ideas, imagination, it really started to sink-in what the implications of being an imaginary limited Mind, within a “one” conscious mind meant. It was mind boggling. I was playing with this realization, or awareness, for what seemed like a long time before falling asleep later in the day. I understood the basic theory of it from the Human Mind psychological state before doing several trips on DMT, but to witness it play it’s self out on a canvas of consciousness = nothingness (for lack of better words) as; Love = Thoughts = Energy = consciousness = = = = was sobering, but also surreal. “You don’t know, what you don’t know.” After experiencing Consciousness at a DMT level you start to become aware of the “Knowingness”, but you really won’t know the “depth” of “anything”! No One can Know the full depth of “Everything” and “Anything”, from the limited Human Conscious Mind. This is my Truth experienced! For the Next year and a half I contemplated my thoughts from a Physical Body and Human Mind state, what am I? what I am suppose to do with this new awareness, new layer of consciousness, of Me, with my imaginary Human reality, within Love = Thoughts = Energy = consciousness = Nothingness = etc. Regardless of how hard I tried to imagine being absolute Consciousness, absolute Love, absolute All-That-Is, I kept returning to this imaginary human body awareness and Human Mind consciousness. I could not escape the limited mind consciousness of ideas, imaginations within imaginations, beliefs within beliefs, feelings within feelings etc. Every morning I would wake up from my dream sleep state, and with some awareness, watched how effortlessly I slipped into my physical whole-body dream state. The transition from the sleep dream to physical dream is mind boggling and frustrating. It’s unbelievable how easy my mind consciousness slips into my perceived physical body and physical reality, but how difficult it was to reverse the sequence back to the sleep dream state, without falling into a sleep state. (if that makes any sense) The deeper I go, the more layers I find. Where do you stop? How far do you go? Having said that, let’s look at a few of Leo’s most recent thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that I believe add to the topic and with my experiences and perceptions: As long as you are in this body, you will have biases and you will not be able to love totally. Life is about limitation and selective love. It's not about total love. I prefer the word imaginary. It's not a trap it is what is. That’s what Oneness is. It is a hallucination. And you are alone. enlightened masters still have biases. Maybe they don't have ego, but they still have a mind. And the mind is full of biases. Even the body is full of biases. ABSOLUTE LOVE -- free of all biases. But there is only one thing which is capable of ABSOLUTE LOVE -- a totally selfless being. And a totally selfless being must have absolutely no form or attachment of any kind. This cannot be accomplished in human form. It can only be accomplished by the purely formless Godhead A living being is incapable of perfect Love because a living being must be attached to survival in order to be alive. Only a non-living being is capable of perfect love, which means death. if you want true lack of all bias, that's called death. That's called God. That's called Infinity. And a human is part of Infinity but not the whole of Infinity. Try to love truly unconditionally. You'll find it impossible until you die and surrender absolutely all form. Formed love is limited, finite, and conditional. The highest love is a pure abstraction. Yet it's more real than all form. Within an Infinite Mind, abstraction comes prior to manifest reality. Abstraction is highest Perfection. You can be relatively selfless, but not absolutely selfless. Only the Godhead is absolutely selfless. Not living beings who must look out for their survival. To even compare your human organism's selflessness to the Godhead's selflessness is silly. You're infinitely far away. And that's okay because you are limited. Your body can't lift a 1000-pound stone and it cannot lift its analog of love for similar reasons. Thank you, Leo, these quotes help more clearly express my experiences and thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that I have contemplated and realized in the last year or so. Your Mastery to articulated your thoughts and ideas into short, concrete statements, and phrases really help convey my thoughts and add depth on this topic from Mind, to Pen, to paper! So here we are! A very, very small microscopic limited Human Conscious Mind, imagined within the One Conscious Mind, playing and creating imagined realities within a limited sand box of consciousness infinite grains of conscious units, which can be mixed, stirred and shaped together into infinite states of diverse realities of all shapes and colors. All of this within other infinite sand boxes of consciousness, with the freedom to play, hide and seek, with thoughts, ideas, imagination, beliefs feelings and emotions, to create, expand, regress, dream, explore who and what we are from a very limited, removed conscious mind of the All-That-Is. What do I do with my imagined limited Self? What imagined self? What we? What I? What here? What purpose? What – What? What why? What do I do with my imaginary physical “self” Loop, that will have a useful meaning and purpose? What’s next from the imagined Limited Human Mind form of atoms, molecules, organs, body, thoughts, ideas, imagination, beliefs, feelings emotions etc., with all it’s imagined mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, catalyst energy aspects that have been swimming in this imaginary reality, which is Nothingness = One consciousness. “Eventually I found my self deliberating, what’s next? at an imagined Spiritual intersection”. Do I just sit with Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = imaginary Dream = =?? and that’s It? Do I Let Go of this limited Human Mind and become absorbed (for lack of better words) with the absolute Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = imaginary Dream etc.? Do I explore the Limited Human Mind personality that I am imagining, and play with all my probable personalities, probable pasts and future self’s, play with conscious layers and awareness of form and Formlessness? Play with 4th, 5th and possible 6th dimensions and multidimensional realities from a conscious Physical reality state? Do I just allow my limited human mind and physical personality to become more and more awake and conscious of Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = One = Zero = Imagined = Dream =, and keep imagining my wife, my life, and play along with my imaginary physical reality until it’s time to leave it behind? Or, Do I do all of them simultaneously? Are there any other options? What’s Next? What’s Next after you are aware of Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = One = Zero = Imagined = Dream etc., and have touched a profound depth of your imaginary “limited” human Mind dream reality? Having said that, I have experiemented with some new ideas to explore what's beyond the spiritual intersection I approached earlier, and have chosen a few paths from an infinite selection of probable paths to explore and expand my awareness. What I’m really interested in from those of you that have read this post; “has anyone else found themselves at this imagined Spiritual intersection? If so! What’s your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs of where you are, and What’s your Next, if any? What are your thoughts, ideas and beliefs of Consciousness = Nothingness, from a knowing that you are a Limited Human Conscious Mind, and that you are imagined within the All-That-Is? Is there a What’s Next? Or What? Thanks for reading the full length of the topic! An imagined student sharing thoughts, ideas, and beliefs, who is open to hearing another imagined someone share their thoughts, ideas, and beliefs with similar experiences!

Whatever is happening is being imagined. If imagination stops then it's like turning off the TV. Then consciousness is at rest as Nothingness.

"The question 'why,' because it can be asked interminably, never leads to any interesting answers. If you ask me then why am I proposing this, I could say, 'Well, I'm making a living this way, or I have a message I want to get across to you.' But that's not the reason. I am talking for the same reason that birds sing and the stars shine. I dig it. Why do I dig it? I could go on answering all sorts of questions about human motivation and psychology, but they wouldn't explain a thing, because explaining things by the past is really a refusal to explain them at all. All you're doing is postponing the explanation. You're putting it back and back and back and that explains nothing." ~Alan Watts The point of life is life itself. Being a human. Doing great and stupid things out of an endless sea of possiblities. Out of love. When you wake up - -i.e. realize life is a dream -- there are no reasons to look down on the game or leave it behind (either physically by suicide or socially by going out in the woods/mountains to live in isolation ((even that is a game in itself)). There are no reason to judge people playing the game very seriously. They are great actors! Give them instead an applause for their great acting skills. You've always been an actor. You' ve just forgot it. You got so into the role of playing X, Y, Z that you forgot it was a role. Waking up is just the simple 'remembering' of being an actor, playing. Actor = God / Nothingness Role = Your ego Now that you've waken up to this reality - i.e. that life is a dream/game - you can still play it! And now you can play it endlessly more free than before. You will now be more open in your playing in constrast to your more constricted, closed-minded nature of playing before. Since you simultaneously realize that everything is one/You/'I'/God, your nature of playing will in most cases be more loving and passionate than before. Listening to music is at same time the most meaningless and most meaningful experience you can have as a human. Likewise is playing an instrument, say the piano. If you tell people "life is a game", most people will react in a negative way and say that you're just fooling around. But is a great pianist playing a great piece in a concert hall fooling around? No. He is most likely playing the piano very sincerely. Playing the piano is a game. But you can play it sincerly. So should you, awakened human being. Play life, not seriously, not foolishly, but sincerely Obviously my post reflects a lot of my inspiration from Alan Watts. Some people judge Watts and say "he wasn't really awakened, he killed himself being an alcoholic in his later years." I beg to differ. I find Watts to be one of the most awakened dudes I've ever come across. Sure, play the game sincerely until you get tired of it. Alan Watts obviously got rather tired of the game in his 50's, and instead of commiting directly suicide, he went to the bottle to dull his experience and slowly kill him. At some point you have to get rid of the old eyes to let new, fresh eyes experience everything anew. Children are so playful, engaged, passionate and interested in everything, because everything is new and fresh to their eyes. At some point we get so caught up in the game of being an adult, that we forget this playful "divine" energy. Hopefully, by one way or the other, most people will in their adult lives regain this playful energy at some point - let it be through psychedelics or any other way. See you out in the dream =) Let's play sincerly That is the most fun. Like, if you gather people to play a board game of some kind, it's only really fun if everyone takes the game "seriously" (i.e. they play sincerely with the goal of "winning"). It's not lots of fun if some people give zero fucks or ruins the game. Likewise, it's also not fun if someone are cheating or playing overly seriously, like getting very mad and aggresive as a result of not winning. It's a delicate balance. Life as a human being is a very complex game. The most complex game I know. The objective is not clearly listed anyware. Going over to a bit of existentialist philosophy, you sort of create your own goals/meanings. However, as we are all humans, we are all more or less bound to some basic human conditions, like getting food, the need of social contact etc. The rest is up to you. I suggest you do not intentionally: - ruin the game for "others" by being a mean egoistic bastard - take it all too seriously - give no fucks about it, even though it's ultimately meaningless (like any game is). Instead, as I said, I suggest you intentionally: - play sincerely. :> One of my old problems has always been the philosophical problem of free will. Is the world deterministic? Is it indeterministic? Do I have any degree of free will, or am I puppet being pulled by long cause-effect-chains with some quantum randomness mixed into it? What do I mean when I use the word "I" in the question "Do I have free will?" ??? I have come to realize that: 1. Ultimately speaking, I = An actor = God = Nothingness = You 2. Therefore I have free will, I'm God for f'cks sake. Yet I don't have complete free will, as relatively speaking, my experience is right now limited to being a human, and the question of free will has to be contextualized in some way, namely the human way. 3. Many things are determined, yet some things I decide on the fly. /rant off.

There are no ‘unconscious beliefs’. There are no beliefs. There is only absolute Love, and everything perceived is absolute Love. Consciousness is all there is. We are the absolute Love. There is no We, I, you, just Love = consciousness. The All-That-Is, is, All-That-Is. We are an imagination, a dreamed-up imagination of the one consciousness of the All-That-Is. There is no separation. Everything is one, one source. You and I are subjective imagined images from Love, we are the one source of Love, there is no we, I, you! just “Consciousness”. POV, perspectives, thoughts, subconscious and beliefs are subjective abstract concepts within Love. There can only be Love, and everything thought or feeling is Love, which is Love. Love can only be Love. Nothing can touch Love, because there is nothing to touch. Love = One = 0 = Consciousness = Nothingness = ...............

we are Huge me So much that I disappear Touch me So that I can feel the breath of your hair Kiss me Like water merging into waves Hold me Like the infinite arms grabbing onto you and me What exists Is like the madness in our dreams From the darkest thoughts to the living infinity There are our cries and shouts Our pains and anguish But also our tender body Merging with love All around us What I can see Is not what I am What I can feel Is not what I am What I am Is that I am And nothing more The infinite need for love and the path that brought our hate to us are the same path that is leading me to you The flower that you touch and the stars that you make up Are the prove of your existence the songs of our perfection Can you imagine non-existence? In a reality where you exist Where your body and mind is all you have ever known What would non-existence feel like? Is it cold? or dark? or empty? or alone? Or is it just me and you And we are this And we feel whole Without you or me Nothingness Is infinite And we are and we are and we are...

WHAT IS DEATH The biggest mistake people make about death is that they take death for granted. They think it's impossible to know what death is or what comes after death. When you don't know something, it doesn't mean it's impossible to know. If you don't know what death is. Be honest. It is a gross mistake to conclude that it's impossible to know, or that nobody can ever know. You assumed that. You have also assumed that death is a real thing. It has never occured to you, or anyone around you , to ever sit down and question the validity of death. Have you been skeptical about death? Why do you assume that death is real? Could death be something that you are projecting to reality? All of this is taken for granted. Death is assumed to be taken for a fact. What happens when you actually die? Death = infinite love = infinite consciousness = God = immortality = paradise = complete non duality = complete formless = total lack of identity Biggest mindfuck of life is to discover that death is infinite love. We as humans demonize life. We think of it as a worst possible thing that can ever happen to us. We spend our whole life trying to avoid death. Why am i so afraid of death? Why are humans so afraid of death? If we have never experienced it. How do you know that death isn't the greatest thing that will happen to you? If you don't know what death is, why do you ascribe all the negativity to it? You assigned a meaning and interpretation to a thing which you have no idea what is! Your own irrational view of death distorts your view of reality. It seems only bad to you because it seems bad to YOU. Because you are selfish. The notion of bad is ultimately what you consider death. It's simply a self-bias you have. We are getting the very core of self-bias = everything you look at gets distorted through your own lenses = you need it for survival But the cost is that you dont see the world for what it is but you see the world as how it can serve you. If you see the universe as there is a beginning, necessarily there is an end. What if that is not how reality is? What if that is a fucntion of how the mind looks at reality? What if death is not a physical event? What if death was a construction of the mind? What if your birth is also a construction of your mind? This statement cannot be taken seriously as a materialistic paradigm. Death is physical process You cannot avoid so you must face it But what if the materialistic paradigm is not true? What if you invented it? There is no death if there is no birth. We take birth for granted. Identity is a realistivist notion. A tree wasnt born to begin with. A tree doesnt think of itself as a tree. You think of a tree as a tree. There is no such entity as a tree from the POV of the tree. Identity is the key to death and to life. What you identify is totally arbitary. You can identify with being an alien or a human, an animal, or whatever. There is no limit to what you can identify yourself to be. You identify with being your nation, your religion. Most importantly, you identify yourself as being a biological entity. If you stop telling yourself that you are a man or woman, black or white, a human, or even a biological entity, you would have never been born. Your birth was not a biological process. You telling yourself that your birth is a biological process is part of creating your identity. Furthermore, you tell yourself that it cannot be any other way. Then this becomes your identify. And it will feel to you that you a human and you are going to die. There can be no other way. This is what you did. Staying alive is not something you did once, you do it every single day. If you keep telling yourself those things, thats how you maintain birth. If you do stop telling yourself those things, you will DIE. Death is the end of your identification – whatever you identify with. The core of your identify = being a human = if you are able to let those notions go, you will die. Your identity will die. And if you never thought about the idea of human or "I" from that moment on, it will feel as if you were never born. The stuff will be happening around you, the body will be eating and talking, but it will be like you are dead inside. Whats left then is your true identity = your identity before anything was constructed = you are your True Self = emptiness = pure consciousness. At the same time, it is infinite. It is all you. What about physical death? You are IMAGINING that. There is no such thing as physical death. The distinction between physical death and psychological death is precisely the identify you constructed for yourself. You have to remove the distinction between the mental and the physical. It is possible for you to experience death without you actually dying. It is because you were never the body. You can deconstruct the identify and body to experience DEATH. If you actually were the body, then you would need to physically harm yourself to die. But that was an assumption that was never questioned. When you question it, you realize you can die before you die. If you are conscious of what death is, there is no distinction between life and death. You realize there is no where to go. There is no HERE or THERE. Everywhere is here. Everything you've experienced in your life has been death. Think this video as i am speaking in your DEATH. Because you have never been alive!! You were only alive as an idea! When you "die", you are not gonna go anywhere. There is NO WHERE to go! These are very uncomfortable truths that no one wants to talk about. As a society, death is so TABOOed. We've brainwashed ourself to believe that death is bad. This is what survival entails. This is the whole falsehood of survival. Survival defends something that is completely unreal. What would you do in your life if you realize death was not real. What would you do? Woud there be anything left to fear if you realize death is an illusion? Fear is a powerful tool of self deception. If there was a truth that devils want to hide from humanity, how would the devil hide it from mankind? he would simply veil it in fear! Everything that mankind deeply fears , the mankind doesnt explore. The ultimate fear = death Where is infinite love? You called it death Where is god? Why can't i see god?! You called it death Only from the place of self deception can life as we know it happen. There would be no humanity otherwise. Death is truth, love, infinity, God, selflessness, consciousness. Life = delusion, identification, attachement , falsehood, illusion, fantasy, imagination, hallucination, self-bias, survival, How on earth can death be infinite Love? Existential Love Love is nothingness, infinite freedom Death = your identify will completely dissolve and you become one with the universe. You become infinite and you become Godhead. The beauty of life is that we struggle for 80 years against obstacles, death, finally we lose that struggle and we die, we think to ourselves that this is the worst thing ever, but we dont realize that this is heaven. Unlimited in every way = total formlessness. It threatens us as egos. But it is the most happy we can ever be because it is our truest form By having no identity = you have infinite identity = you are universal Attachment is the ennemy of the spiritual path. You think the form is so great, but you dont realize how great formless IS. You are TERRIFIED of it. Because you are so attached to it. No matter how Leo says how good or beautiful or loving deaht is, you are TERRIFIED. You must be going through the process of dying to understand it. Reality is depolarization and polarization process. Your death is a process of unification. There is no difference between unity and division. You are the division and the unification. This all is a process of going through the Universal You. This is infinite Love. Both in polarizing and non-polarizing ways. You can realize this directly because it is what you are. The greatest irony of human life is that we spend our life fearing death, yet death is illusory. Actually death will be the most beautiful thing thats ever happened to you. The actual circumstances in which you die can be painful, tortuous. But the actual moment of your death is the pinnacle of life. Your life coming completely full circle = you becoming the whole universe. All of entertainment, religion, family, TV, video games, government are ways to delay seeing what Life is. Those of us who werent afraid of infinite LOve is not here, they are already gone. When your friends die, your grandparents die, they become you. All the consciousness of all the people who have ever lived is in right here in your consciousness. You think Cesar and HItler are dead because you are attached to their forms. Everyone you know whos dead is right here. Nothing happened to them. Nothing bad has ever happened to anyone. This will be TOTALLY denied, by society, your family, and your mind. Because everything said in this video has to be DENIED for you to survive. No one can validate this for you. Nor should you believe Leo. If you believe Leo, it gets you nowhere. You are stuck being a finite being. If you dont believe Leo, it stilll gets you nowhere. Death is a relativistic notion. God is a shape shifter. It lives forever and changes forms. You hear stories of immortality and they are just stories. Until you hear enough of those stories, one day the possibility might click. Maybe immortality is actually possible. Immortality is possible as a function of how you perceive reality! The initial opening of the door is a critical step. If a tree identifies itself as a tree, and the tree is cut down, then it is end of that tree But if the tree identifies itself as the entire forest, if the tree is cut down, the forest is immortal and it can never die. What if my whole life is like the tree? What if i misidentify myself? What if i shift my identity, to the universe? That would make me immortal. What if you cut down the whole forest? You must identify with nothing, with the universe. Then the universe can disappear. Yes but distinguish between scientific universe and Universe with capital U UNiverse = everything thats ever possible. The totality, the unity, the oneness. If you have duality in your identify, you are mortal because every duality will collapse eventually. Thats exactly what you will become at your DEATH. Life is the opposite of cruel. You face the crippling fear of death. When something terrible happens to your children when they die, what you dont realize as a parent is that your children become infinite love. Nothing is lost. That is the beauty of the design that is life. All suffering and all loss is finite. Absolute is love and goodness. You really have nothing to lose and nothing to fear but fear itself. Love is so great that you are too finite and weak to handle it. Thats the tragedy of it. Everything that you think its evil and bad, or seems to undermine the design of life, is precisely its VERY EVIDENCE. You are only attached to survival. You dont want to accept that. All of your depression, pessismist, criticism, is all just a denial of infinite Love. You are guaranteed to lose the battle against infinite love no matter what. You will melt into infinite love no matter. This is God's mercy You have played a game which you cannot lose but fooled yourself that you will lose. This is a source of all evil. Evil = misinterpretation of truth. You dont know how NOT to misperceive the truth. The entire process of human growth is the process of realization your finitude and your own self limitations. Thats what your whole life is about whether you realize it or not. The extent to which your life is happy and positive is the extent to which you align yourself with this. And vice versa. Wisdom = alligning your life towards this and going towards selflessness. Discover for yourself what it is. What about reincarnation? Everything infinitely reincarnates. From the absolute perspective, it doesnt matter what happens to this body. Ultimately, i already AM all these things. I am cycling through the chain of being. Reincarnation is inlimited. How can leo know any of this? I died. Through direct experience, and you can too. It does no good to theorize. The only way you can understand this is to die. But you dont want to do it. You dont need to physically harm yourself. You need realize the duality between physical and mental is not real. if im in a depression, why dont i just shoot myself to be infinite God? you can, but i dont recommend it, for social reasons. You do it out of selfishness. The better way would be to do the spiritual work and to overcome your sufferings. Then enjoy the formed materialistic. Also there is no where to go. You shoot yourself and you will still be here. Appreciate the beauty of Love manifested in the physical form. dont worry about formlessness. You have been there, you came from there and you will be back there. but appreciate love and matter in its finite form! Its beautiful and remarkable and its worthy of appreciation! The point of life is to awaken and to appreciate YOURSELF. ALL is yourself. When your body dies, it dies, its not a problem. Its all good. you are immortal, but you aint a human. Humans cannot be immortal. Everything form is mortal. Consciousness itself is immortal. when you have total oneness, the oneness cannot kill itself. Its a terrifying realization that its possible for you to realize that you cannot kill yourself. God cannot kill itself. Can god create a rock he himself cannot lift? If God is all powerful, can God kill itself? It can kill itself in the relative domain, but not in the absolute domain. The notion of killing itself, its a relativist notion. It does not exist in the absolute sense. All you have to do is change your identity of human to that of God, then you are immortal. That is truth!

It's definitely a more convenient view, but doesn't it add some unnatural "mechanical complexity" to nothingness? I mean in other word, shouldn't be God limited by what it is, and forced to live through all perspectives at once? Are you reporting this from direct experience? If what you say is true, this has a serious implication. It could mean all the spirituality I am reading could be full of imaginary nonsense, or all humans I interact with daily could just pretend to have their own perspective.

Lol leo has already transcended nothingness and every other form of spirital materialism. He has now created his own GOD which is godlier than the ones prescribed by any other spiritual teacher, in his own opnion.

Bufo alvarius is passing by to wish you a birthday full of nothingness ?

Clarity of the mind. meditation makes me more intelligent. It opens my mind up to a while new world. I realized I was doing meditation on autopilot so I switched to actually being mindful and my god. The effects are completely different. I realized that my mind is not grasping these old concepts. I was about to go on autopilot again and I caught myself. I realized the concepts, the context. My whole personality shifted. I dropped limiting beliefs so easily. Basically I became a whole new person, yet who is this person I identify with? Haha. I am noticing why my life was so amazing. I was aware of the traps and it’s so easy to shed limiting beliefs when you become more conscious. I feel like my old self. Reality is amazing. Love and light. Nothingness and everything. I’ve had a few glimpses of non duality. One happened from someone on this forum that ended up being banned, which is kinda funny. I loved reading his posts however much I saw faults in them... well, that’s only after it was processed through me. Unconscious biases *bleh*.... so, he was speaking how there is no separation and awareness. Where does the line get drawn on what makes us, us. He created this long post on this and how if he can even help one person realize this he is happy and it’s funny cause I was that one person. The depth he went into triggered something in me and all of a sudden everything started merging. There was no “I” “table” etc. there was only “this”. Everything was consciousness. Granted I only got a few second glimpse before it faded and it was about a year ago. I loved what Leo said how we may not keep these states however they are forever intergrated unto our psyche. there is so much to become aware of that I have no idea. Every time my awareness raises I always respond the same way. I am aware that you just don’t see it the same way or understand what there is to understand until you experience a shift. Well, love and light! ✌️

@WhatAWondefulWorld Yep. Everything you become aware of is you. When you perceive an object the object is becoming aware of itself. You do not have awareness, awareness has you. In order for creation to be limitless and infinite its substance must also be limitless and infinite, that is why it is ultimately made of absolutely nothing. Nothingness is infinite and it has no limiting characteristics. It's like when you imagine something in a dream, it's made of nothing but you can still perceive it.

@Osaid pure awareness, absolute nothingness. God.

Yeah it's the part that cannot ever feel loved. It's a wound of Self-hatred. Hate for existence, hate for the external world and hate for the internal world. This generates self-doubt and the endless search for love in various ways (achieving success, hot women, personal development.. and lots of other ways that are partly corrupted by this). Feeling into the Self-Hatred (a horrific gift as Gangaji states) one can realize the "Body of Christ". The objectless awareness/Nothingness carries this core wound. Where this duality collapses, the "unforgivable" is forgiven, the "unlovable" is loved... to death. Enjoy your high brother

Have you recognized your own mastery yet? Have you surrendered yourself to your perfection? If so; how deeply? I always resonated with the word strongly. Since I've picked up a guitar, 15 years ago, I wanted to master it. And out of that desire another was born. To master myself. And out of that to master my life. And out of that to master pure being. I was slowly but surely waking up to my own Mastery. How do you feel about the word? Are you attracted to it? Like you are perhaps to words such as; enlightenment, God, awakening, spirituality, consciousness, nothingness and so on... Do you feel like that's a "coincidence" ? Or could that be pointing towards infinite mastery and intelligence? What does mastery mean to you? How does one become a master? What makes a master? After all these years I still do not think I mastered the guitar. Or sound. Or composition. But I am conscious of how that exactly is a part of my mastery. It's what ultimately makes me a master of my craft and beyond. It's the will to "keep going deeper". It's unstoppable momentum. It's choice. It's destiny. Now my question is... Do you have the balls to commit to life on each and every level of it? Are you willing to take your light to all points of existence and not distort its purity on every corner? Can you be totally enlightened in the presence of an 8 year old child? Or perhaps your mother? Your grandmother? Your neighbor or that stranger that's passing by and you'll never see 'em again? Can you transmit light to a child? Or someone who cares nothing about spirituality? Can you communicate it without ever mentioning the word or touching upon spiritual concepts? Can you enlighten somebody simply by being in their presence? Talking about the weather, perhaps? Can you create an opportunity for them to experience Oneness without even knowing what's going on? Can you put a smile on their face without any reason whatsoever? They would smile and have no idea why. They would feel good for no reason at all. Out of nowhere. Fully present. How well can you move your creation? How effortlessly? How far does your voice reach? How enlightened is your reality as a whole? How committed are you to your direct experience? Does it mean everything to you? Is it the best thing ever in the entire existence? Do you adore the crap out of the character you're centred around and the roles it plays? Do you even notice? To you dedicate your attention to everything equally no matter how it looks? Are you the Light in all of its shapes and forms? Are you willing to loose yourself within yourself, knowing that you can never actually loose yourself, even though you can make it seem hella convincing? Are you willing to dive in and never come back? Are you willing to fall asleep in order to wake up? Are you willing to play? Are you willing to master being the Light? Are you willing to experience yourself in ways that do not seem aligned with the Truth of who you are? Are you willing to see the mastery in things that could be labelled as "illusion" or "maya" or "false"? Are you willing to see Light and Light only in all of it? Can you bring Light to "the ground" ? Can you make it seem as something casual, easy and not that big of a deal at all? Can you make it easily accessible? Natural? Can you point out the obviousness of it? Its constant, undeniable presence? Can you have a laugh about how hilarious all of this is? Can you drop the notion of it, carefree, at random? Can you truly and fully commit to just chopping wood and carrying water? Not making it about enlightenment, at all? Simply being the Light. That's what True Mastery is, in my opinion. It's adaptive. Elastic. Unpredictable. Untraceable. Free. Limitless. Genius. Casual. Calm. Subtle. I'm all for Mastery. It's a step many do not take, even after many mystical/enlightenment experiences, awakenings and realizations. It's a step that takes great courage and an enormous amount of (Self)Love. Infinite, unconditional Love, to be precise. It's full surrender and sheer commitment.

Some Background I have been doing Kriya Yoga since the beginning of 2019 and also started working with psychedelics last year, and a steady-daily meditation practice for more than two years now. I also like to do some other practices like Hatha and Yin Yoga. I had some powerful awakenings in previous trips, but this one is the biggest/deepest one yet I have experienced. For a couple of months now, I incorporated Yoga Fire technique to my Kriya Yoga practice. Since then I also started to notice an increase in energy I feel, I also started listening the sound of Om and the Chakras more intensively and feel as if some energy is building-up at the top of the head. The Trip Medicine: 200 ug of 1P-LSD Intention: What is God? What is Death? Why am I so afraid of tripping? I made all the preparations and took the medicine around 7:30 on an empty stomach. Normally I have to wait about an hour to start feeling the effects of LSD, but this time I started to feel the come-up after 30 minutes. During the first moments it felt as if a lot of energy was moving through body sort of rewiring it. After some trips I can start to realize how this process is rewiring, like upgrading my body. I then started to get in sort of a mystical state. With almost no effort, the illusion of being a separate being from the world would rapidly fade, everything would start to become Luminous Emptiness, the white energy of Absolute Love. For a moment it was as if I could see outside the bubble of reality of my small-self, only the things that where around my field of view where in existence and everything outside this bubble was just nothing, just pure white energy. It was a state of consciousness I have never reached before, I felt infinite, total, loved, there was no time. And suddenly I had this very powerful mystical experience, as I was laying down concentrated looking at my finger tips. It was the first time that I could intentionally let go of the illusion of self. Little by little the sensations experienced by my body started to fade away, as I started getting dissolved in the great sea of Nothingness, as this was happening I felt complete, surrounded by unconditional Love. At one moment I was no more, I don't have the words to describe this experience. It felt as if I was returning home, a sensation of Completeness, Absolute Love, Compassion, Infinity, Total Serenity. And then little by little, just as it started the illusion of my small self started to form again in front of my eyes, as I was being reborn. I already had these sort of Samadhi experiences in the past, but this was the first time I could stay so long and so conscious in this state, being able to contemplate so deep as never before. It has never been so easy for me to tear the illusion of Maya. After every awakening, I also realized how I am getting more conscious, is like the field of awareness keeps expanding. I got some powerful visions, but deep inside I knew that it was all an illusion. After a couple of hours on this God-mode I got some ego-backslash, I felt a strong need to get grounded on the illusion of reality I am normally used to be. It can be very shocking and frightening when the reality starts to melt in front of you and when you realize that the idea you have of the world and yourself is false and then you awaken to your real Self. It was as I suddenly wanted to forget everything I just had seen but, that what has been seen cannot be unseen. This made me realize why I always find it so hard to do the work, the ego finds always excuses to postpone tripping. It is because with every trip the illusion of what I think I am has to die in order to awaken to the true Self. Its like a sacrifice where we offer the illusion of oneself. But it also feels great, awesome to awaken to the true Self. It feels more real, is just Being Truth. It was also the first time I stopped being afraid of dying. I have never felt like this on psychedelics before, it was as if some line of code would suddenly be erased in the mind and I became fearless. The psychedelic also showed me for the first time with so much clarity some of my shadows. At that moment I realized that they are just false ideas projected on to something/someone. Conclusions and Questions With every trip I feel as if I am getting aligned with a higher consciousness. I understood and felt the dangers of this work, as I suddenly became so fearless. With every trip I feel more and more committed to this work. I love getting mind-fucked, I love remembering my true Identity. I love all the insights I get. It also makes me appreciate everything more deeply, every moment of life. Does anybody can also hear/feel the Om and the Chakras? Is this like some sort of Kundalini awakening? I would be very grateful if you can point me in the right direction where I can find more information about this. As always, thanks you so much for reading this post. Thanks to @Leo Gura for his amazing teachings and to all the great community of actualized.org! Namaste.

You are implying the notion of time itself is imaginary therefore there is no such thing as a past before consciousness. While it should be accurate, I think we can explore further ideas. We say consciousness always existed because the concept of existence itself depends on it. It's clear that a relative point of view is required: What if an hypothetical outside observer, beyond the realm of possibilities, could report any state of "being" and "not being". Would it be able to identify an origin to the singularity? It's tricky since we are reasoning outside of time, but let's just assume. Not to mention, before this topic is submerged in dual noises, how is non-existence impossible for God when it's already as absurd as existence itself? Does God memorize all the forms it creates or everything is forgotten when the relativity is gone? Does God know how to "be" or "stop being"? Is this correct to assume God wants to live since this is exactly what Love is? Is eternity only an issue for my selfish self or it's also troublesome for God as a whole? Even if the answers could be exposed by the state of nothingness, it probably is still interesting to review them. Reality itself is designed in opposition to truth, so actual understandings always help to dismantle the tangle we are trapped in. Also it might be the only chance to experience the illusion of sharing mutual emotional states about it which is fun. I've tried waking up, but my ego is pretty thick for some reason. It readily handles high-dose psychedelics. I'm thinking meditation practice and sustained effort toward selfless awareness should help.

Last night I had a glimpse of ego death or the transition of it. It left me speechless for a good 15 - 20 minutes. The transition was amazing but more terrifying than so. Being Mindful It was in the early evening when I decided I was going to spend the rest of the night meditating. As the night settled in it was already raining and I was on my bed, sitting cross legged and just being in the present. The rain got heavier, and I struggled to hear my breathing. Then, instead of focusing on my breath, I decided to close my eyes and focus on the sound of the rain. This gradually led me to focus my attention on the entire auditory field, and before I even knew it I was completely absorbed by the present moment. Grounded in the present, I was observing everything there was to observe of sound. I was completely immersed in June listening and listening alone. This was me for the next hours and hours. During this session I really became aware of the impermanence of reality, listening to every change, every end and every beginning of rhythm, melodies and what I imagined to be the voices of nature. And there more I deepened my awareness the broader my attentiveness became, I could hear things that I knew were coming from afar. Completely in the present, absorbed by the auditory field, with my attention feeling on max, I could feel my body expanding. All of a sudden I wasn't hearing the sounds anymore, I was making them. They were no longer happening out there anymore, I was observing them within me. My body was no longer localized, instead of listening to this field I became the field. My body became the consciousness in which everything appears/transpires. I didn't think this, I just know it, and I was in awe. But just when I thought things were starting to get weird, I wasn't thinking anymore, thoughts were happenings in me. The sound of my thoughts couldn't be differentiated from the sounds of the auditory field which was now my body. With my body being consciousness, I became hyper aware of reality, I began to notice the smog of illusion that filled existence, I became aware of infinity. There was no such thing as finite, finite was imaginary. There was no ending of things because there was no beginning of anything. Everything was unified, there was just existence and no existing thing other than that being imagined. All this just dawned on me during the session. But the more I realised stuff the more thoughts began to arise and fall, rise and fall, everything that occurred.. happenings, resembled a wave. And thoughts just kept on coming and I just observed, and before I even knew it - I could see. The Glimpse There was sight, a whole entire different view even, it was still the sight of my room. The scene had changed suddenly and things were gone, the rain was gone, sounds were gone, thoughts were gone, and sudden as the struck of thunder.. I was gone. The view was there, as it would normally be, with the sight of a body perspective. But I was not the body, I mean I was but not localized, the body was just a part of me. I was everything, I was all of it. Turning and looking around, I wasn't turning and looking around.. all of that was a happening inside of me. I was the canvas, the field, I was the nothingness of it - and I was dead. The moving picture was me, it was all just a unit, a unified happening. There was no self-orientated thought, no self-referent thought, no I. And it was amazing, it was peaceful because it all meant nothing.. it was meaningless. But as amazing as that was, it terrified me, the meaninglessness of it struck terror in the little peace of what was left of me in the scene. I started kicking in, I realized that I wasn't breathing, I realized the dead silence of existence and I panicked. I thought, I thought as much as I could, started imagining a me, a self in the scene. I imagined as hard as I could, making mental noise as much as possible, until I finally appeared. But it was still clear that my appearance was phantom. It didn't matter, I hung on desperately to that illusion and believed it was me.. I did that until it became real. I woke up. I opened my eyes and the first thing I noticed was me. I had fallen asleep, it was just a dream. My world was back, the sounds, the sight, the sensations and thoughts, they were all back. But that dream... What kind of a dream was it? It seemed like a casual dream but also felt like that one if a deep sleep, like it was dreamless. I looked at the time and it wasn't even 11pm yet, it was still around 22h00 and I had only slept for what I suspect to be a minute or two. I had had a dream that felt like it lasted for eternity only to wake up and find out I had drifted off from my meditation for a good minute or so. That dream... Although it was just a dream it felt like the truth. I had felt one with everything, like everything was my body. I couldn't even see a thing there, it was all just one thing, a unity.. it was whole and it was me. Like I said, it was amazing and beautiful, but too much to accept on one fell swoop. It was a glimpse. A transition that didn't reach it's end. Just thinking about what could have happened if I had just accepted the truth on one big go.. leaves me speechless. What if I had died in that dream? What if I had never woken up again? But what if I had woken up and I had woken up awakened? It was just too great to accept at one go, alright! That's all it was. You get terrified because there's nothing you can attach yourself to, and because of that.. it dawn's that your entire life was nothing but a story, a figment of your imagination. And just like that, it dawn's to you that you were never alive, ETERNITY Dawns. That's some heavy shit to accept on one go, you'll resist, and that's what happened.. I resisted. But I'm grateful for this experience because now, for the first time ever, I have an idea of what to expect from this work.

You experiences some pretty hefty nonduality during your trip nothing is what you are the chemical lsd isnt real you imagined that you woke up to yourself as nothingness lsd is in the nothingness.a good way to look at infinity is to ask yourself what is not included in infinity? There is no beinging or end nothing outside of it there is endless creation in nothingness

https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/ I'm looking at these stats and getting around a 3.3% death rate from reported suicides. I assume these numbers can be way off in either direction because of inaccurate attempts and inaccurate deaths by suicide. I might be wrong but I would guess my own success rate would be carefully planned and 100%, but who knows. I'm honestly wondering though if the thought of pain is the main reason people are unsuccessful? I often wished of a state of Nirvana/nothingness, but do not want to experience the thought of physical pain, the pain of others because of my action, etc.

So I am not blind (at least I don't think I am ), but I have been thinking about this issue in pursuing Consciousness. If one has lost their sight, hearing, feeling, or all sensations, how does one pursue Consciousness? I guess that no matter what sensations you lose in life, you will still have consciousness, awareness, and thoughts. So what I am trying to figure out is if I am blind, it is as if the Visual World ceases to exist. Do the loss of sensations prevent or inhibit one from becoming enlightened? How do psychedelic trips affect blind and deaf people? Are there any limits to Consciousness if one loses their sensations? What does it even mean to say that you are Consciousness when you are not and cannot be aware of any sensations or anything in the world? I understand from distinguishing Actuality from Concept that if I am blind then my Visual World (with colors, shape, objects) ceases to exist for me. But if the Visual World ceases to exist when you are blind, then why is it that you can still be harmed in it? Think of the 3rd movie of The Matrix: The Matrix Revolutions when Neo become "blind." Let's assume that he was actually blind. If there is no external world, how can Agent Smith have a chance of killing him? I am still trying to wrap my mind around this. Here is me trying to understand. Please point out my flaws in trying to distinguish actuality from concept: I realize that this experience of typing on a computer is ACTUAL and the External World that I believe is outside my room and house is IMAGINARY. What is IMAGINARY can affect what is ACTUAL (such as a nuclear bomb hitting my house, which is also IMAGINARY). Since Consciousness divides itself, Neo is blind (a part of consciousness) and Agent Smith can see (also a part of consciousness). All that is going on with Agent Smith harming Neo when Neo is blind is Consciousness interacting with Consciousness. But from Neo's perspective, Agent Smith is a figment of his imagination, yet this imagination of Smith is a reality that Neo has to deal with. Neo is imagining the visual image of Smith, but when Smith talks, Neo hears the ACTUALITY of his voice. Sound arises out of Nothingness and passes away in Nothingness in the same way that Neo's sight and existence came from Nothingness and in the end when he died, Consciousness merged back into Nothingness. Since Consciousness is infinite, it can infinitely divide itself giving it the appearance of an external world. But I notice that there really is no Neo and is no Agent Smith. These are just fictional characters and identities appearing in Consciousness. I am IMAGINING IT! In the same way that Consciousness imagines that it is a human being, it imagines that it is blind and that it is fighting Agent Smith. It is almost seems like the Life is one gigantic Dream or Video Game in which Consciousness (the content and structure of the dream) is imagining and interacting with other consciousnesses that are just divisions of itself interacting with itself? LMAO!! I feel like I am crazy and I may be crazy. But keep in mind though that Delusion and Crazy may be the default levels of everybody. It is unraveling this delusion and fantasy that leads one to Truth. But if our society is built on bullshit, lies, and delusion, then what is the Truth will be seen as delusion, bullshit, and lies from a delusional point of view?

@Leo Gura If everybody was the same, that would be true. I am psychotically conscious, if I am not obsessively focussing on something that is useful, I am obsessively focussing on things that aren't usefull at all, and identifying as those things. I am also not a newbie, I have perceived the nothingness and samadhis without decades of training. So just suppose I am advanced enough for advanced techniques. Never took psychedelics and I don't want to in the near future because of my psychotic nature. Currently I am doing Shinzeng Youngs do nothing technique during the day: whenever the intention to control things come up I give up that intention. So I am sure I would be able to accomplish the easy kind of meditation throughout the day. I would also say that I am too conscious of things, and whenever I notice too much, it drives me crazy. So how can I meditate whenever I have too much brain RAM available.

@r0ckyreed The method I used to first discover nothingness is this: astral project (have an out of “body” experience) then repeat “non dual state now” until your body shatters and you will see what remains. Another word you can try is “zen guru”. It takes a while to learn how to astral project but once you learn it is very useful and fun.

Yeah you really just need to contemplate what an object is(like a coke bottle) and realize you can never get to the bottom of what it is(Nothingness). Same with the self. Creation seems to form and exist simply by not inspecting it. The coke bottle exists so long as you dont contemplate what it is. The false self exists so long as you dont contemplate what it is. @Nahm yes the only reason why I'm taking this question seriously is because I think its True. But what if the question itself is imaginary.

So am I the empty nothingness that is pure awareness or am I the perceptions in my perceptual field? Or something else?

From my own limited POV, the Void, or Nothingness is just a neutral, non-existent mental psychological concept, which allowed God Consciousness to give birth to its “self”. Think of the Void as a blank canvas used by painters, it is a blank infinite space, with No conscious thoughts, ideas, imagination, beliefs, textures, and sensations, and so on. Out of this Void, or nothingness, a thought manifested and gave birth to consciousness. From this one thought, an orgasmic explosion of thoughts occurred creating an infinite psychological gestalt of thoughts, ideas, imagination etc., that we call God Consciousness. This explosion and expansion of consciousness continues into infinity with the innocents of a child wanting to explore its beingness, using imagination, creativity, compassion and Love. From this limited POV, we/I will never fully grasp the full magnitude of the Void or Nothingness, and I don’t believe it is really necessary from our POV to understand it beyond a blank canvas that God Consciousness creates its infinite master pieces on. Consciousness and awareness, on the other hand, is a worthwhile endeavor to explore! IMHO