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@Brivido “The biggest conspiracy is the humans capacity to create conspiracies...And in so far, we can become deluded by our efforts to avoid delusion” Conspiracy theories provide solace for the mind. The mind cannot comprehend what is beyond it, so it creates grandiose ideas in compensation. They also entertain the mind because the it can not withstand silence or nothingness, it’s just further noise to fill the void it denies to accept.

@Dua I read your post and I am feeling motivated to do Meditation as I think I can help me. Yes you can indeed! I’d look to meditation as not so much a motivation to get somewhere or fix anything, but more a calling to come back home, prior to all of the experiencing, all the phenomena, all the activity & concerns. A completeletting go, without exception. This would be most helpful, paradoxically, because it is a break from the thinking there is something wrong with you which then ‘needs’ to be helped / fixed. What stands to be let go, is what is prior to the rls. Understand this simply as much as you do without assuming anything is being missed, be open to this, but yet at the same time, do not make meditation out to be something that will “fix” this, but rather, a break from it, relief from it, some peace and healing in regard to it, by letting it go. “Let thought go”, indirectly, as just a byproduct of being attentive to hearing, breathing & feeling, like you never have before. Like, you have heard of chocolate bars before, but now you’re going to explore Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. There is great wonder to be experienced in hearing, breathing, and feeling. WAY more than there is in thinking. By letting go of the thinking of the world, the world reveals it’s wonder. Leave all the “life stuff” behind in meditation. Viscerally explore the other-than-thinking, of hearing, breathing & feeling. Let go of the body, and let go of the body within the body, again and again. Let go to the bone. Then let the bones go. Like an Olympic runner is set on running fastest, you set on letting go and relaxing deepest. Complete opposite. No incentive, no effort, no goal. See how deeply you can let go, how deeply you can relax. Olympic “level” of letting go. Let go more than any one ever has, ever. Not to gain anything - just to relax. It can be helpful initially, to make two precise labels / categories: ALL experience of living, the entirety of it, is: “Everythingness”....but meditation does not go in that label / category....meditation is: “Nothingness”. Meditation is not like Everythingness. There are no matters of concern in meditation, no thing to be fixed or solved. It’s a break from Everythingness, and everythingness includes everything. Meditation will not “fix” anything. But wouldn’t it be great to have total clarity on the rls? In meditation, that is, in letting go...Everythingness is let go, and Nothingness is more pronounced, more present if you will. This Nothingness, this Emptiness, is clarity. Literally. So if clarity is desired, letting go is the way. I tried meditation before as I know it really helps but my problem is whenever I sit for meditation Restless Leg syndrom kicks in.. and I can't sit still, can't keep my sitting posture for long.. RLS becomes worst as my body gets into the state of relaxation.. It happened 90% of times.. I’d see a doctor and get a physical with a full blood work up, specifically checking iron. Let the dr know all medications and substances in your system, so they can deduce any interactions that might be going on. Then I would consider that the rls arises when you meditate because there is a response from the nervous system to ’get up and go’...as not to feel what might be coming. It could be that there is a belief something is going to be ‘faced’ in meditation. Something from the past perhaps, a ‘having learned to run’, or ‘avoid’, to cope. Perhaps someone passed unexpectedly, and there are ideas of and fear of death maybe, hard to say. What is inevitably seen via letting go / meditation, is that the pure nature of this experience, is not a past, nor is any thing scary coming, including “death:...there is only but thoughts about things, arising, now. The experience of the relationship between feeling and the past changes over time in accordance with the seeing that there is no past, and that “it”, is but a thought, arising now. This is to “let go” and “realize the now”, or, to directly experience presence, mindfulness, or “this peace” as Mooji says. Feeling + past is very very different than feeling + a thought (About a past). Again, it takes a while to realize this, but meditation is not about realizing anything, it’s just letting go of everything. Realization is not like training for the Olympics...realization occurs when thought is let go (by focusing on hearing, breathing & feeling). Listen to the body, - it is the teacher. Like it is the infinite intelligence that it is. Stop “not liking how it feels” - and starting humbly listening to what it is “saying” to you. Wiggle your fingers, and then try to explain how “you did” it, and you’ll see what I’m pointing to. See what the body is doing with regard to rls, and ask “what is it telling me here? What is it subtly teaching me? What can I learn here?” Such inquiry as this, will pair with what you read in your dream journal. Lighten up, drop any seriousness. This place is a game. Reality showers you with what you want, and do not resist. Reality is unconditional, you hold, or don’t hold, conditions. If you resist / hold conditions, reality showers you in clues regarding well being & letting go. I am not insightful, nor enlightened, nor awake, nor anything but parallel, we’re in the exact same boat. I am only one such clue, coming & going in your adventure. You can pretend to control this adventure, you can project subjectivity onto ’me’ - or you can experience this gift for you that is this miracle of your life, humbly in the front row seat of living it. Always up to you. Don’t assess me...feel....this message resonates, or it doesn’t. Love the body, and allow it to release emotion. Of habit, thought attempts again and again to weave a story out of the arising emotional release. This is thought “trying to control the body”, acting preventatively to the body releasing. It is an act of innocent defense. For example, a thought could arise about the past, and feeling begins flushing the body of misunderstanding / emotion...but then the feeling of that flushing gets labeled as “bad” or “uncomfortable” - in / by, thought - and is suppressed. When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. Thought will kick it up a notch, attempting to convince you “something’s wrong”.... When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. Thought will take it to the extreme. Thought will “empty both barrels”, become grandiose, wild, self important, projection indulgent.... When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. There is nothing to solve, nothing to figure out.... When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. When thought labels feeling - don’t believe the labels! When this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. That is how sneaky thought is. Feeling is always accurate and is never, ever, wrong. This is the importance of letting thought go, and what is hopefully conveyed by all or any of the words (above). Please keep in mind, when I say feeling, I am talking about that-there-is-feeling, pure sensation - I am not talking about emotions...when this occurs - simply return to hearing, breathing, & feeling. Peacefully allow this emptying out of the mind and body. Let it all go, and lovingly wish it well. Appreciate it all, it did serve you. In gratitude, allow it all safe passage up, and out. Love this way, that way, inward, outward, love all around. Love all that arises - do not label and judge. Don’t consider wether or not any facet of what arises is deserving of love, nor wether or not you have the capacity to love it - that is sneaky thought. Just love. No reason, no justifying it. Just love. Having said all that... if sitting meditation is ‘too much’, if it’s overwhelming...don’t ‘power through’ it. Break from it, and write about how you’re feeling in a journal, on actual paper, with a pen or pencil. If that is too overwhelming, do walking meditation, and then writing about how you feel. While walking, concentrate visually, straight ahead. Notice thoughts arising, and return attention to seeing, straight ahead. Known that this concentrating ‘outward’, will allow the source ‘within’ to ‘rise up within’, and thus clear out anything emotionally speaking, which is a ‘blockage’ in terms of, concentration. Have a good look around while walking. That is what it looks like when the infinite being you truly are, concentrates itself. Hear the birds. They’re singing to you. Their song is otherwise purposeless, though thoughts arise. Let them go, to feel the song. Also, you can practice walking meditation, and by focusing on all other-than thinking (seeing, hearing, breathing, feeling)....there is peace, and it is likely insights will arise. It can be most helpful and efficient to have your phone with you, and to voice-to-text the insights and save them. This way it is captured for later if you want it, but more importantly, in knowing it is captured, you easily readily ‘return’ to the other-than-thinking (seeing, hearing, breathing, feeling) / the peace. The ‘letting go’ / emptying ...’resumes’. Other times I got sleepy when I started meditation. Meditation is best first thing in the morning, right after ‘sleeping’. You might also try yoga, as it’s more physical and you’re less likely to get tired or sleepy. I’d google “the many types of yoga”, or something like that, and you’ll naturally attract some practices to experience directly. Also, consider keeping a dream journal next to your bed, and writing in it every morning wether there is a dream to log or not. If there was no dream, just write “no dream last night”. This builds the awareness of dreams, and dreams give you messages. The message is usually not clear upon awakening, but later, after the emotion has subsided, what you wrote in the journal can be suddenly very clear and insightful. Don’t assume linear time in this manor either. Something might occur in the ongoing of your day, and the dream suddenly ‘clicks’ as a major insight. Connecting with dreams btw, is connecting through intuition. Lots of awesome experience arises from this. Screen diet for sugar, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, additives & preservatives, etc, and eating a low calorie nutrient dense diet, and not eating after 7 or 8 pm. I’d google ‘cleaning out the pineal gland’ too. The more choices the mind makes in the name of well being of the body, the better. Choosing well being is awakening. Also, are you sleeping at night, with the circadian cycle? (Vs working nights and sleeping during the day, or staying up late & sleeping in). For what it’s worth, if you aren’t...you would likely get a better night’s sleep if you slept naked, in 69 degrees or less (with a blanket), and avoid using screens at night in bed. Read a book, or write, instead. Exercise, specifically aerobic or cardio, and weight resistance / weight lifting, would likely help a lot. Doesn’t need to be anything major, just enough to change the percentage of fat & muscle a little. This can ‘awaken’ the tiny subtle ‘muscles’ prior to ‘the muscles’. At the very least, deep stretching and breathing into the stretches a few times a day. You might already be doing all or some of this, idk. I am totally hopeless now.. Beliefs like that are let go in meditation. You’re fine. Everything is fine. Don’t suppress desire, express desire. Meditation is the way. It’s wholly counter logical (logic = Everythingness), and presently counterintuitive in your experience (ya could use more Nothingness, which brings intuition and awesomeness to your life & experience). It will become crystal clear that meditation is always the ’answer’, because you define there is a problem, and then you claim you are ‘stuck’. In meditation, all is let go, and clarity arises where a ‘problem’ was believed to be. There are likely substances and or choices of diet at play, which were adopted to cope with the feeling, which was labeled In misunderstanding, and which there wasn’t anything ‘wrong’ with in the first place. Totally not your fault though. We believe what we are taught to believe. BUT then we meditate, and let all that nonsense go. You’re not really stuck. This is classic writer’s block and it is a tricky facade. You’re creating the ‘stuckness’, but aren’t yet aware of how / what you’re doing to create it. In the misunderstanding, a thought, “like a loser” arises. This is a thought which labels feeling, and identifies with that labeling. This is believing a thought and weaving an identity out of thought, so ‘you’ can be right about the feeling being wrong. But feeling is infinitely ‘right’ , pure goodness... and the thoughts & beliefs are not in alignment with feeling. Hopefully you’re connecting the dots here, and realizing meditation is the way. Letting go, is the way. Thought is just, thought. You are not a writer, there is an experience of writing. Writing can never be good or bad, there is an experience of judging, critiquing. You’re ‘pushing feeling out of the writing’...by labeling feeling & identifying with the label, yet feeling is what most behooves writing. Feeling is not a separate ‘thing’ from the experience of, writing. Again, before any writing occurs....wiggle those fingers first, explain precisely how ‘the writer’ is doing that, and you’ll find you can not, because there is no writer. Go ‘the other way’. Don’t “just do it”. Relax, hear, breathe, feel. Feel within the body, like the whole body is a sensory antenna, ‘picking up’ all the feeling, all the writing. The best thing you could do, imo, is drop the whole writing thing. Completely drop it. If you feel inspired to write, then do so. Otherwise, just let it go. Put the outcome of it ahead of your enjoyment of it - and it’s lost. Let it go for a while. This entire experience, this entire universe, is precisely as it appears - completely relative - to you. It’s literally a gift for you. The experience of writing, is not something ‘you have to do’ - it’s experience you get to enjoy. Thinking like “there is a problem with me” IS the “problem”. As such - there really isn’t a problem. You’re believing the thoughts “that there is a problem”. Nothing is wrong with you. “Wrong” is only a judgement, a thought. Judgmental thoughts do not feel good. Let. Them. Go. You wouldn’t hold a burning hot coal in your hand, would you? No. You’d let it go, because it doesn’t feel good. In kind, on the path, we let go of pride, arrogance, being right, being separate, resentments, entitlement, expectations, etc. We forgive. We apologize. We love. We self love. We understand. We feel passion, creativity, empowerment, enthusiasm. If a thought doesn’t feel good to you - you can let it go. (Shift awareness to seeing, hearing, breathing, & feeling). Also, for writing, consider dropping all devices, sitting in nature, and using a pad of paper and pencil. Don’t write for your blog though - write about what you are seeing now, write about what you are hearing now, write about what you are feeling now. ”I feel” is a sneaky thought. You can’t feel. You can’t even feel a feeling. Feeling IS. Like perception, there is no story to it. “Story”, occurs in thought. Not feeling. Not perception. The thoughts “I am weak physically” & “I am weak physically” do not feel good because they aren’t true. You’re telling that story. Don’t be surprised that is what you’re experiencing. Tell the story you actually want to experience, and miraculously, you do. “I need” is a sneaky thought. It’s in plain view though - if you listen to feeling. Anything that follows “I need” will not feel good. Let the thought go. (Focus on seeing, hearing, breathing, & feeling). Notice a thought arose, and it was in discord with feeling. Then, to “cover it up”....you start believing you must ‘need’ something. Emotional suppression doesn’t settle. Let it out. Temperature’s just right. Appreciate it. Consider the odds of there being temperature which “just happens” to be perfect to allow for this entire experience. There are no coincidences. It’s not random. Let thoughts of that nature go, and synchronicity & serendipity are revealed. This place is pure magic, and you can do anything you dream up - and you’re current sentiment is “hot weather bothers me”. Let go. Let go. Let go. I say this with love, and good intention, and I hope it is heard that way...you are holding many conditions for you to be happy. Happiness is revealed in letting those conditions go. Go experience that which you ‘fear’, and you will see the facade of fear. “Fear” is a label upon the experience of believing a thought about a potential future, which is in discord with feeling. Feeling will never be in “a future”. Feeling is present now. Feeling can be ‘listened to’, now. The mind wanders, false thoughts arise, feeling says “no sir, that’s not actual”....and you label feeling. This is very much like putting an address into the navigation app in your phone to get to where you want to go....and then when the voice says “in half a mile, turn left”....and you’re like “no!”. Relaxed, emptied, clarity arises. There will be no more thought being believed about yourself being “a loser”, ”I can’t”, etc. I’d read The Six Pillars Of Self Esteem, and Ask & It Is Given. I’d also start a dreamboard.

Hey, I'm basically wondering: to those of you who have been doing self actualization for 10 + years, have had multiple deep awakenings, seen yourself as God, and have integrated Love, Absolute Infinite Fractalness, Infinite Nothingness, all the good stuff - How confused are you on a month to month basis? How often do you find yourself in a sort of existential void, where you lose touch with your Life Purpose, struggle with inaction, wonder if you're focusing on the right stuff and you're unable to stay connected to the Beauty of it all? Is there a point where everything comes together and stays together, apart from ego backlash when you encounter new depth? I love what I've found so far, and I know there's always more, but sometimes the repetativeness is just so damn boring. I'm in the process of actualizing my Life Purpose, I know it's gonna be amazing, but every time I get into this really good groove working on LP, Self Trancendence, or both, I know that I can expect to lose touch with it later. I have a few Golden habits, but they are a double-edged sword. I love Life, but only sometimes.

The key is to realize that nothingness is self-aware. Everything is self-aware because it is consciousness/Truth. It's not that there is no you. It's more a question if what the true you is. Right you think you are a biological organism, the body/mind. This is the false you. The true you includes all that but is fundamentall reality itself. You are reality. The body/mind appears within reality. You have mistakenly created a limited identity by attaching to the body/mind exclusively while forgetting that you are reality itself. Reality is consciousness dreaming up humans, trees, rocks, cars, stars, animals, universes, etc. Like in a dream, the body isn't you because the entire dream is you. You are an Infinite Mind dreaming up a body and a world. This Infinite Mind has no substance or physical ground. It is an empty field that can dream up physical objects.

@Inliytened1 Damn, nonduality. Infinite and nothingness become one. No good and evil. No real and imaginary. That must be.. something. (And nothing lol)

Hi everyone, and sorry for the click-baity title. Hope it worked cause I actually have something that could possibly be constructive to be talked about. I wanna share some thoughts I've had lately that have been reenforced over time. First of all I wanna tell you that I've been following the channel since 2016. I've watched maybe 80% + of the videos and know what all this is about. And frankly it has been extremely helpful and I mostly have feelings of gratitude that such a thing even exists, let alone it being for free. At this point I can honestly tell with no doubt that I see myself a changed person since 2016 and I owe it partly to this channel. But I, as a person, am beside the point of this post - just giving you a background to let you know I am very well acquainted with the channel and overall very positive about it, and not some ''outsider'' who stumbled upon Leo's recent videos and came here to make some noise. So as I said I've been watching the videos and lately, Leo has come up with lots of grandiose, pompous statements. I, as a well-acquainted viewer, have some context to receive them with little to no reactiveness cause as I've said I have the context that explains away the grandiose feel one might get from them. I am acquainted with the flavours, the nuances and connotations that words such as ''God'' have in Leo's vocabulary. In other words, I know the ''language game'' that is being played when Leo says ''I am God'' and other maybe more ''outrageous'' stuff. The problem is: people who stumble upon the videos of Leo do not. Or even if they do have some context for these statements from the general non-dual talk that the current culture provides , they still do not to the degree that someone who's followed this channel for years does. And what comes out of this, is people from the non-dual and the psychedelic community being alienated and averting from an otherwise hugely valuable source, that this channel is. And valuable, in half a dozen other dimensions, not just the spiritual one (spiral dynamics, life purpose, etc). Take for example the Adeptus Psychonautica guy. I knew of his channel before, and even though I haven't watched more than 4-5 of his videos, which btw I thought were very decent, I'm subscribed to it. He pretty much went through the kind of alienation that I'm describing above. And he's made two videos putting down this channel, to some extend. He seems to be trying to give a balanced reaction to actualised.org, and not take stuff completely out of context, strawman them etc... but still the channel is getting some bad reputation as if it's a cult, with some messiah guy on top, ego-gratifying himself in his online echo chamber. the adeptus psychonautica criticisms: Another angle, I wanna tackle this from is about what dynamic is being cultivated by the more grandiose, pompous utterances of Leo. I remember Ram Dass saying that he observed that, in his work as a psychotherapist, the roles themselves that each party of the ''transaction'' adopted, meaning on the one side the ''healer'' and on the other ''patient'', were a very limiting factor in the psychotherapeutic process. As long as Ram Dass would identify with the healer end of this transaction, it was reenforced that the other person would automatically play into the ''healer''-''patient'' dynamic and adopt the patient role. And this dynamic would become chronic and would prevent ''patients'' from getting over their ''patient'' identity. In parallel to this, you could say, that as long as the packaging of the teachings of Leo reflects, even partially, that of the messiah, the non-dual healer, the master, etc, people who are attracted to this channel will tend to automatically assume the other part of the equation and play the ''depended needy follower''. And that kind of psychology is exactly what a good cult is built upon. And it doesn't only take a stable ''teacher'' so that stuff doesn't turn into a cult. It's also depended on what kind of idiosyncrasies are attracted by said teacher. My personal feelings about the recent videos: As I said, I have watched this channel enough to tune into the connotations of whatever Leo says, and explain away the occasional wackiness, however there is still a part of me that has put the last 6-12 months of the channel's content into a new mental category abbreviated by something like ''outlandish stuff that I should take with a grain of salt for now and focus on the ''work'' (spiritual) before assuming they're true''. Before all that, I had this channel categorised as a 100% legit source among many many others I've got. But nowdays for example, I would be quite reluctant to suggest it without a ''grain-of'salt'' type intro to a newbie friend. For one, I wouldn't like them to stumble upon a random video, listen to some out of context messiah wackiness and then think I'm wacky, too, for listening to such stuff and suggesting it with no hesitation (and yes, I'm aware this is more petty, ego stuff on my part, but we're human and it's not bad to take humanness into account when it's about pr) and would not believe that it's gonna be healthy for a person that has little context to come across such ideas. This could partly be because much of the content is not suited for newbies. But also I'm not myself 100% convinced that all that Leo says is legit, and not outright delusional. I'm just trying to keep some balance between what ideas are floating in my head and what 1st person experiences I have that back the said ideas. And yes, ''I should shut up and go do more vipassana 10 days and dmt and self inquiry, etc, and then I'll know for myself''. And yes, ''all is LOVE, and all I need is stop caring about such PR little things and love, love, love all you need is love''. I'm all with you about these things, I totally agree, for all I currently know. Indeed the bottom line is LOVE. But this post isn't about the bottom line, it's about practical PR stuff that could affect the spread of the message. And I feel there needs to be some space for this conversation, too as well as with the actual work. And from this perspective I'm having this scenario in my head, that if I and other people who try to approach this non-dual thing in a non-delusional way are alienated, then most of the people who end up staying in this channel, might end up being the wackiest among us who want to fill their heads with outlandish, non-critically/empirically tested ideas. (I'm not reffering to anyone particular, I don't generally visit the forum I don't know if there are specific people who are like that). So to wrap this up, all I'm saying is that the non-dual message can probably be shared without the pompous tone. I understand that Leo may be demonstrating how confident he is about this message, how much he can stand behind the words he's uttering. And that's a good thing and he probably feels authentic doing it. The friction starts where this message is interpreted as megalomaniacal, messianic etc. Whether this is people just projecting their own stuff on Leo or not, is beside the point. For all I know Leo might be so ahead of the curve from the current non-dual culture, that he ends up being perceived as a lunatic. The point is that the non-dual message can be transmitted in a spiral-dynamics-informed way, taking into account who's receiving it and sort of adjusting to it. Not to the degree that's watered down, of course. I don't know, guys... just some quarantine thoughts filling the gap of my current do-nothingness. BTW this message is not targeted directly to Leo only. I don't actually feel, as I'm writing all this that I'm writing it to Leo himself. It's more like I'm putting my thoughts down, and wanting to share them to see if any people are on the same page. I can't even say that I'm totally aligned with all the above thoughts. They certainly are just a fraction of the thoughts I have on the channel. I can tell Leo is putting an admirable amount of work into this all, and probably it's mostly work that is not visible. He is also brave enough to go through these experiences in a very public way. I honestly wish all the best and all the luck to him and all the Love and to everyone here. and to all creatures. peace

Yep a pregnant nothingness an empty happening... Its unknowable.. It's indescribable.. It's nothing experiencing everything.. Its THIS!!

@James123 Reality itself exists within nothingness, just like a thought. It really boils down to what you consider "real". IMO, anything that you perceive is real. The ego does not exist, but the illusion of ego is still something that people experience. Do you consider a dream real? You could say no, it is just something that happens in my head and disappears like a thought. But, it is definitely true that the phenomena of a dream is something that happens. There IS something there that is happening, and that something is happening within reality. I do not see any reason to not consider it real. Thoughts are used as a tool by the ego, but they are not made by the ego. Identification with thoughts is what creates ego.

When i close my eyes, i created the apple in my thoughts. But it is existed within nothingness (no color just nothingness , if you imagine the color, which is created by and within nothingness). So, I believe, thoughts are not there. Thought is like a stupid sound.

Do you think "Awakening" could not be observed as a process (or lack thereof) in the brain? Do you think it is impossible to alter the brain in such a way so as to remove Ego from it's structure? I don't buy that. I think we could have a device that instantly increased your awareness to levels no Enlightened Master has ever reached, or to reach total non-duality and awareness of Nothingness instantaneously with no effort whatsoever. Therefore, I don't see a good reason why there wouldn't be a substance that could do similar things. Ralstons view of Enlightenment is not very convincing to me. To me permanent vs non-permanent enlightenment experience is nothing but the brain either being permanently changed or temporarly changed. These are the rules of Maya. Equally I think there could be a device that would render Ralston unenlightened instantanously.

Was thinking about the topic of open-mindedness more, when this distinction came to me and gave clarity. We could sub-divide open-mindedness into two categories: To content; this is basically being open to different perspectives, to different beliefs, to claims and ways of “physical” existence. It’s within the relative domain. To being; this is being open to what existence IS. To source. To dissolving into nothingness. To surrendering of ego. The absolute domain. Open-mindedness to content is more messy and confusing, whereas openness to being more simple, not easy, simple. Of course this distinction ultimately collapses again, but it gave me some clarity, so maybe it will do the same for you.

Of course. But if there is no you, how can you feel something? Body feels the feeling, but not him. He is nothingness, which is aware of the body.

Buddha you mislead me with Nothingness. God damn you bro.

@Leo Gura i dont think Peter Ralston will believe in me I just lost my dad, my health, friends, job and everything at that moment. I was just ready to gave up everything, and had no choice than seeing the God (which is not story to be proud of, because i am aware that my personality is created by my environment, even these words i am writing is inevitable and nothing is under my control, because if environmental factors never push my ego to bring this point, i will never know about enlightenment). Thats why i was just ready because of my Egoistic environmental factors. Even purpose of texting each other is satisfaction. I believe, purpose of duality is realizing that you are the god or creater within the duality, which will make you aware of your dream and inevitable love or love of the creation. Because you love yourself and everything is you. I just love anything i can. Because all is one and whatever we do inevitable and perfect. Therefore, Staying in nothingness state all the time restricts meaning of infinity with nothingness. If Peter Raltson never felt his ego, he could never be able to realize the truth. Because of that i am not agree with Peter Raltson in some points. Lol. It is infinite, if we want lets be bird lol. Nothing wrong with it.

@Vipassana Very cool to hear your feedback. I am currently meditating far less than you, however i want to up my time up to 2 hours. I started today, did almost 1 hr 10 min uninteruptudly and did 1 hr 40 min total. Strange, i cant say i did have mystical experiences but i do have unusual things happening to me, for example there is huge amount of energy channeling in and out my swadishtana and manipuraka. It is so much bliss there that i want to move instantly. I have constant expansion and contraction experiences altho very little and energies spike in my sahasrara. Nothing other than that i have. But i dont just sit i also center my mind on enernal truths that i feel subjectivly are true for me like if i am aware of this now, i always have been and always will be. This will go forever or no matter how i feel, wether i know or not i am Mahadeva or who am i e.c.t. and since i have done nirbaya dhyaan my swadishtana projects alot of intensity and bliss so suddenly it feels like there is so much depth to me. Prior to that i had a awakening experience in my work i guess, but it was nothing i have read anywhere. It was not feeling some infinite love, maybe a little bit or having no boundary, but there was like insane levels of emotional relief and i felt like somebody else is laughing trough me, i was just pressing this emotion and it just constantly made me laugh. Its like laughing from nothingness. It was so relaxing and at the same time very intense. It really felt like nothing matters and this is a dream. I didnt underestand wether i cried from gratitude or laughed to tears.

I suppose this post could fit into both this section and the spirituality section as it covers both; free will doesn't exist this is something you become deeply conscious of the quieter your mind gets, as the voice in your head is what sustains the illusion, If you can't think, you don't feel like you have free will, there's just nothingness. You've heard the saying "if you're unaware , you are not aware that you're unaware" seems like a pretty meaningless statement but, from another perspective can be deeply profound. This means it was never your fault for anything that ever happened, good or bad, it was just the fruit of your conscious level and your awareness can go up and down, you take some alcohol you lose awareness, your inhibitions disappear but, you may do something or say something stupid like drink drive, that was your awareness level at the time. Nothing can be done to increase your awareness, nothing can be done to motivate yourself to increase awareness, the motivation usually has to come in a flash of insight or a deep understanding from someones wisdom. Mindfullness and meditation are examples of practices that may alter your awareness level as this gets 'you' to leave the mind alone so it quietens itself. This is action through non-action , you grow in awareness by not perpetuating mind. You can't even do anything to make you understand, understanding has to happen by itself. Theres no reason to feel bad about any of this, its all just happening, you don't take a movie personally, so why 'your' life

@tenta @Leo Gura Yeah I understand that that's duality. I can say that its non-dual or a dream but what I'm interested in is the structure of the dream. So this is where I'm stuck. I understand that no word or concept can describe reality. What I see in front of me right now is not a computer. The concept of computer is a dream we might say. But I'm looking at something right? For example, I can't drink my computer. Now I can sit on the top of the mountain and say "Drinking is a dream too. There Is no one to drink or use the computer. It's all empty nothingness which can't be described". I think a lot of people just memorize this type of knowledge and not think about the ramifications of it. The fact of the matter is there is a structure in what I'm looking at. Now, this is not an argument against its being a dream but how the fuck does that happen? Is it God's will? I hope you can see where I'm coming from. For example, in Leo's "brains don't exist" episode, he makes a very good case that perception affects another perception in the case of brain damage which I totally agree. But how does that happen when the brain is not being perceived? or anything for that matter. So let's say I drink water and the effect of it is that I have to pee. Water is a perception. Sensation to want to pee is a perception. Pee is a perception. But what the fuck is happening between them? For example, the process that water goes through until it becomes pee in my body is lost. Now you can say that process is a perception too. BUT. That process was never perceived by anyone. So, how stuff still happens when no one is looking. Is God perceiving everything all the time? That would be a not a bad explanation. I think that's Berkeley's position.

They both are and are not at the same time. Imagination is a function of the mind, but there's something prior to the mind. It is nothingness. From nothingness, everything emerges, including the mind and the ability to create distinctions. How can something come out of nothing? Sounds nonsensical, right? Nothingness isn't bound to sense. It creates the sense later on. Knowing/understanding is nothing other than the ability to create distinctions. This ability comes later after nothingness takes form and goes away after form merges back into nothingness. Right now, you're in nothingness. There are no "actual" distinctions. You are imagining all distinctions. If you stopped imagining them, you'd become "insane" because people would perceive as insane, but in reality you'd become enlightened and judgements as such would not make any sense to you because you'd have no distinctions between sanity and insanity.

I understand that but I think I'm referring to something else. I get to the raw sensations without concepts. So you might say that when you don't conceptualize it, it's nothing but that's not the Nothingness/Emptiness I am talking about. Maybe another way of saying is that I'm trying to become conscious that what I'm looking at right now is nothing but empty consciousness. That's a very advanced I thing.

@ShivaShakti I think I already got that part. My problem is getting that perception is actual nothingness.

I think you're alluding to an Atheist version of death. Death is nothingness, and infinitely conscious. Anything you can think of that it is.....that ain't it. It can only be experienced and fully understood through direct experience.

To all the ones who supported me on embracing my horny side I just came twice and I think I can keep on going ... Anyways maybe you are all right and am just an exception of a woman that embraces her sexuality and is very horny and proud of it and probably am a total pervert also, but hey if i wouldn't accept that in me, it wouldn't be self love... What I think is surprising is that everybody focus their attention in the biological and binaries making generalising statements of a normative sexuality, which excludes other type of identities like the Lgbtq ... ok identities don't exit everything is nothingness, how can we apply the lessons of non duality here in sexuality in humans?... lets focus in one step at a time ok. I personally think is negative to put men and women in labels and generalise their sexuality since it can make, great damage to their psychology lets take the statement " girls are less horny then man" ok first that believe fact what ever, if you what to believe in that take it as a fact and make it a statues quote men and women, loose just by accepting that as a truth, so is useless. I decided am not going to take it for me, because i don't what to feel restrain by what society and the rest says. I think is beautiful when women can say am horny, suck me, fuck me hard do it soft or don't do anything, also extremely valid. we are not trained to communicate, what are our needs wants and limits already, and it makes it even hard, if the rest of the world is telling you that you have to be a certain way because of your gender, biology etc. What I propose and think is healthier and even more inclusive is to say some women are more horny then others and some men are also more horny then others and to compare them makes no sense, because already the way ones gets horny is very different then the other one and for me they are equally horny and get hot. Women can express their arousal in other ways and I find that maybe there, is a difference and is not even less or more, I get horny by fruits I find them so sensual delicious, they could be a turn on in their given moment, while maybe for a man is watching tits maybe some days i will be more horny then others also valid . And to be honest how can women be less horny when their own bodies are erotic already. One of my favourite videos from Actualized is this one I attach ....that was such a relive finally as a women, I also don't have to reproduce or fall in to this reproductive biological body I can also be free and decide what and how I will find the path of wisdom and impact the world in a way that is more truthful to me. but ok I accept that is very hard for people to let go of their gender etc. But at the same time my biggest concern is that what is really missing here is proper healthy, education in a more sex positive point of view. A personal story I met a girl that in her 20 never touch her vulva, she didn't even know her body her sexual organs, because no one told her, she was to shy to ask and had all the shame and restrains to even explore it, and of course as the holy horny mama that I am, i told her she has to touch herself know her body don't feel shame for feeling pleasure in any way ...I personally didn't know my own sexual anatomy since a few years ago, how terrible! ok to close this, sexuality is very broad has many colours and shades and comes with a lot of social conditioning, shame and pain for many and if we don't take it to a place of beauty and positive embracement, yes more women will believe that they are not so horny and guess what guys your lots. the only thing I can say , communicate ask but never asume. I just express from my own experience not with the intent of been wrong or right ,but more to have another perspective about this subject ...

Well I am a week after Self Vipassana course at home - perfect timing with quarantine. I visited my privet Hell only to discover that this is my paradise playing disguise games with me. Vipassana is a genius Technic I am in love with it. The biggest present I could give to myself and the biggest challenge as well - perfect paradox. It felt as mini-dose of Ayawaska every day hahahaha So yes I felt instant release and great deepens awareness on how I am pure Nothingness! How the biggest Give to myself as for "others" as well is to just listen. I felt how the voice just talking to itself and the thoughts just think themselves and the same the feelings feel themselves. I release all the urgency to explain something to someone - because It's impossible to explain what I want to - it's something which may be understood only through direct experience. I can only give my listening and my receiving. I can only be and this I manifesting all which me only observing. It's so simple that is very complicating hahahahha The snake which eat it's own tail. I wondered many times during the infinite meditation about how can it be that Leo didn't talk about that? can it be he didn't try Vipassana? So yes now I'm continuing to give a full try to this technic - at least a few years. I do though do mini-douse of psilocybe in addition to meditation. Now I am fully out of the closed that I am going Buddha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All what was almost now it's clear and whole - all what was in control now is a surprise every breath. I have no expectation to be understood or liked or be a good person or to be a person at all hahahahha As I'm awakening in the morning now the first thing I'm becoming aware is my breath! It's AMAZING! I AM BREATHING EVERY MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG The next thing I'm becoming aware is thoughts - such a surreal experience! I got a Netflix - fully privet one. Oh and the great thing that It's not by force and not me - my thoughts are just literately movies which the mind as an antenna broadcasting them. I am free to be identified or just to watch them as they are - arousing and passing. Meditation at least two hours - I'm doing 3/4 hours - quarantine so I have a looooooot of time. Well the biggest change which made me have no doubts in adopting this Technic is the infinity of unconditional Love I feel and energy to give all of me to my family and people in need - purpose to do whatever I can to help everyone to be liberated from suffering! My ego now is including All Beings !!!! I have energy so much energy to listen to everyone and smile and see positivity in everything There is no bad or good anymore - there is just IS. I am free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am free to free myself to give and receive to help - really help all the "other's" myself's. There is no questions anymore and expectation to superpowers and miracles - every Breath is the Miracle! I am surprised every day and cannot believe the wonder of being. My family and friends not recognizing me and in the same breath feel so free and natural in my presence and it's funny because I am they presence of they'r myself I am sane finally - so funny to experience the sensation of remembering. I am such an interesting content hahahahahah The reality is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I know This Too Shall Pass Well that's it for now

Yeah there seems to be a 'dislike' for Nothingness on here. As soon as you talk super deep about Mu or Nothingness, they shit on you. Leo is too caught up in Everythingness. A repulsion to emptiness. You can go just as deep into nothingness as you can in everythingness, but people on here just don't get it.

Hi everyone, this a long one, with a lot said. I hope you can make out what I am trying to convey! Just to be up front, I also copied and cherry picked some really good quotes, or string of words from Leo’s most recent responses in the “I think Leo is triggering the insanity that is already within you” to help add to the context and flavour of my “What’s Next” topic that I am sharing with you here. What I am sharing is some of my own experiences and awakenings I had on DMT almost 1.5 years ago. It has taken a long time to put my experiences into meaningful words that make sense to me, and hopefully to some potential readers. I find writing down my experiences has really helped me process my understand of who I Am, which I find is always an ongoing experience and is always changing. So here goes! Before we get into Leo’s quotes, I will share a combination of experiences from several of my DMT trips. At the peak of one of my DMT trips, I experience nothing, I was nothing = consciousness. There was no Me. Then “I” (as in a thought “I”, for the sake of expressing the inexpressible) became aware of this huge limitless ocean of energy, no thoughts existed, just a sensation and texture of endless, boundless energy. Time did not exist. Eventually a thought transformed in, or from a Conscious? field of Energy. Once the thought appeared, a sudden orgasmic explosion of thoughts, ideas occurred out of the formless field of Energy (for lack of better words) which seemed to occurred from no-where. Love = consciousness “experienced” the All-That-Is, giving birth to everything, and everything was also imagined and was also nothing. (if that makes any sense) Am, became aware of an infinite space, followed by infinite Cosmoses within this infinite field of energy space, followed by our Universe, then galaxies, then Planets, Earth, Life on Earth, humans, Me, my family, friends, etc. I mean everything. But at the same time, Am was nothing within consciousness (difficulty to explain) No me, but everything at the same time. Everything seemed to be in a dream state. Eventually, “I”, not the Human Mind “I “, was in transition between the All-That-Is and my limited Human Mind. I felt Love, and at the same time felt alone. I was Love/awareness feeling the space of oneness, and at the same time I was this limited Human Mind with all these imagined experiences, and yet I was “Alone”, because I was aware of being “One” simultaneously. (Don't get hung-up on the "I" please, I don't know how else to discribe it) Thoughts were swirling around in this nebulous space of Love = consciousness = imagined Limited Human Mind. As I was slowly descending back into my Human Mind Consciousness, I started to question; Why should I bother returning to my imagined Human Mind and Body? Why “forget” most of who “I am”?...... I am One.... What’s the purpose of being a limited Human Mind and physical body? Everything is imagined, my family, friends, the pleasures and pains, the suffering and joys of duality are just a fabrication of the Mind, a huge infinite hologram imagined! It’s just a Dream! I tried several times to let my imagined limited human mind die, (an imagined psychological mind suicide, for lack of better words) to let it disappear into the empty canvas of nothingness = consciousness = Love, but to no avail. What I eventually realized is that there is no such thing as Life and Death, there is only a reduction or expansion of consciousness in Form and Formlessness, within the All-That-Is. Eventually I was aware of time, and I sensed consciousness slowly reduce its self to slip into a limited Human Mind, into the reality of form, and into my imagined body. (It seemed a long stretch of time had passed during the transition) It wasn’t until 5am (started around 9pm) when I was steady and conscious enough with the inner workings of my Mind and body connections, to be able to walk back to my room from the DMT ceremony. During the next several hours my mind swirled with thoughts, ideas and imaginations in what seemed to be a higher state of awareness. I was questioning; why am I here? What’s the point? I even imagined calling an imaginary taxi to pick me up from the imagined Ayahuasca center to take me to an imaginary desert, to bask in the imaginary sun and heat with my imaginary cold case of beer, and imagined the thought of “Just letting Go” of this imaginary dream. Expand to One! Expand to Love! Because it’s nothing but imagination, I can’t die! There is no death! There is no wife! There is no Earth! So why keep playing this imaginary game? I am One = Love = Consciousness = nothingness = Void! As I pondered my thoughts, ideas, imagination, it really started to sink-in what the implications of being an imaginary limited Mind, within a “one” conscious mind. It was mind boggling. I was playing with this realization, or awareness, for what seemed like a long time before falling asleep later in the day. I understood the basic theory of it from the Human Mind psychological state, before doing several trips on DMT, but to witness it play it’s self out on a canvas of consciousness = nothingness (for lack of better words) as; Love = Thoughts = Energy = consciousness = = = = was sobering but also surreal. “You don’t know, what you don’t know.” After experiencing Consciousness at a DMT level you start to become aware of the “Knowingness”, but you really won’t know the “dept” of “anything”! No One can Know the full depth of “Everything” and “Anything”, from the limited Human Conscious Mind. Agree or disagree, this is my Truth! For the Next year and a half, I have been contemplating thoughts from a Physical Body and Human Mind state, what am I? what I am suppose to do with this new awareness, new layer of consciousness, of Me, with my imaginary Human reality, within Love = Thoughts = Energy = consciousness = Nothingness = etc. Regardless of how hard I tried to imagine being absolute Consciousness, absolute Love, absolute All-That-Is, I kept returning to this imaginary human body awareness and Human Mind consciousness. I could not escape the limited mind consciousness of ideas, imaginations within imaginations, beliefs within beliefs, feelings within feelings etc. Every morning I would wake up from my dream sleep state and with some awareness I watched how effortlessly I slipped into my physical whole-body dream state. The transition from the sleep dream to physical dream is mind boggling and frustrating. It’s unbelievable how easy my mind consciousness slips into my perceived physical body and physical reality, but how difficult it is to reverse the sequence back to the sleep dream state, without falling into a sleep state. (if that makes any sense) The deeper I go, the more layers I find. Where do you stop? How far do you go? Having said that, let’s look at a few of Leo’s most recent thoughts, ideas, and beliefs he shared in the forum: As long as you are in this body, you will have biases and you will not be able to love totally. Life is about limitation and selective love. It's not about total love. I prefer the word imaginary. It's not a trap it is what is. That’s what Oneness is. It is a hallucination. And you are alone. enlightened masters still have biases. Maybe they don't have ego, but they still have a mind. And the mind is full of biases. Even the body is full of biases. ABSOLUTE LOVE -- free of all biases. But there is only one thing which is capable of ABSOLUTE LOVE -- a totally selfless being. And a totally selfless being must have absolutely no form or attachment of any kind. This cannot be accomplished in human form. It can only be accomplished by the purely formless Godhead A living being is incapable of perfect Love because a living being must be attached to survival in order to be alive. Only a non-living being is capable of perfect love, which means death. if you want true lack of all bias, that's called death. That's called God. That's called Infinity. And a human is part of Infinity but not the whole of Infinity. Try to love truly unconditionally. You'll find it impossible until you die and surrender absolutely all form. Formed love is limited, finite, and conditional. The highest love is a pure abstraction. Yet it's more real than all form. Within an Infinite Mind, abstraction comes prior to manifest reality. Abstraction is highest Perfection. You can be relatively selfless, but not absolutely selfless. Only the Godhead is absolutely selfless. Not living beings who must look out for their survival. To even compare your human organism's selflessness to the Godhead's selflessness is silly. You're infinitely far away. And that's okay because you are limited. Your body can't lift a 1000-pound stone and it cannot lift its analog of love for similar reasons. Thank you, Leo, these quotes are similar to many of my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that I have contemplated and realized, but you are the Master when it comes to articulated thoughts and ideas, from the imagined Human Mind Consciousness, to Pen, to paper! So here we are! God-Head = Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = One = Zero, everything from that is Imagined and a dream, So what’s Next? What do I do with my imagined limited Self? What imagined self? What we? What I? What here? What purpose? What – What? What why? What do I do with my imaginary physical “self” Loop, that will have any useful meaning and purpose? What’s next, from the imagined Limited Human Mind form, which has been contemplative since my imaginary DMT experiences. Pondering this imagined, Limited Human Mind, atoms, molecules, organs, body, thoughts, ideas, imagination, beliefs, feelings emotions etc., with all it’s imagined mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, catalyst energy aspects that have been swimming in this imaginary reality, which is Nothingness = One consciousness. “Eventually I found my self deliberating, what’s next? at an imagined Spiritual intersection”. Do I just sit with Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = imaginary Dream = =?? and that’s It? Do I Let Go of this limited Human Mind and become absorbed (for lack of better words) with the absolute Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = imaginary Dream etc.? Do I explore the Limited Human Mind personality that I am imagining, and play with all my probable personalities, probable pasts and future self’s, play with conscious layers and awareness of form and Formlessness? Play with 4th, 5th and possible 6th dimensions and multidimensional realities from a conscious Physical reality state? Do I just allow my limited human mind and physical personality to become more and more awake and conscious of Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = One = Zero = Imagined = Dream =, and keep imagining my wife, my life, and play along with my imaginary physical reality until it’s time to leave it behind? Or, Do I do all of them simultaneously? Are there any other options? What’s Next? What’s Next after you are aware of Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = One = Zero = Imagined = Dream etc., and touched the depth of your imaginary “limited” human dream reality? Yes, I have moved beyond the spiritual intersection and chosen a few paths from an infinite variability of probable paths to explore and expand my awareness. Just to be clear! I am not interested in someone’s advice as to what path “I” should be taking, or if my thoughts, ideas and beliefs of reality, awareness, or consciousness are correct or flawed! What I’m really interested in; “has anyone else found them-“self” at this imagined Spiritual intersection from Leo’s forum and membership? If so! What’s your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs of What’s Next? What are your thoughts of Consciousness = Nothingness, from a Limited Human Mind Conscious state after you realized you are imagined within the All-That-Is? Is there a What’s Next? Or?