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Ayahuasca has helped me a lot. It's the only thing I have tried so far and it's cool. I get beautiful images in mind while tripping on it and I always get a sense of Bliss. Sometimes I cry on it.. This is how I feel on ayahuasca.

Ahhh. My awareness is shit! It’s so shit! I was looking at some old messages because now my life is not on the extreme happiness side and I saw how aware I was. I was so aware talking about things it triggered awareness inside of me. Now I’m sad. Like, throughout my day to day I am doing bullshit things to try and feel good. Why not just meditate or contemplate. Why Joseph? Why are you not enjoying life like before? Do you just get super happy and bliss out on life like before? No? What? You now sit down wishing for your old life back? Why? Why not just change it now. Meditation is key. Joseph just meditate and when you got a problem contentment that shit. Bring awareness on your problems and your life to make an amazing life. Clear the illusions. I used to be aware. I said things which I would not say now. I’m lonely as fuck. Today and yesterday I felt it. Before I could sit alone and laugh. I’m comparing myself to my old self. My life is honestly really great and I can do a lot. Just the lack of awareness. My goal is to increase my awareness as much as possible. Meditation non stop. Contemplating nonstop. I gotta get back into those habits which increased my love and happiness levels. To a place where I can stay and do nothing and bliss out on life. My new goal is to increase my awareness as much as possible. I’m done with low consciousness activities. I’m done. Edit: wow, just reading things I said from the past increase my awareness. I’m shocked by how much I knew! I’ve fallen. Ive become a fallen angel. Omg that is a perfect description. I’m a fallen angel trying to regain my holiness.

I agree with what zero said. Go through that list, which is great btw...but go through it with the fine tuning of nuance and phrase each line in good feeling. Example... “I do not judge others”. There’s very little feeling in a double negative like that. (Not + judge) So “I love others” feels better. Notice in feeling, that it does, feel better. Imagine the momentum of feeling which builds in doing this with each thought, as each one at a time thought, arises. Momentum reaches new places of nuance. Then, drop even the words which...don’t even feel good to begin with. Which feels better... “I am free of insecurity, guilty, shame, fear“.... or I am freedom. I am thriving. I am giving. I am loving. I am Love. You don’t have to have any curtains words in thoughts, so to speak. Clean that house out like Zelda Rubinstein. Then say, I haven’t even begun the purification yet, and be delighted by the notion of infinite feeling, continuing infinitely. In terms of psychology...the momentum begets squeaky clean purity. Utter emptiness. Nothing happening. The space of the entire universe - empty, vast, perfect stillness, perfect peace, bliss of the mind. In terms of feeling....M’F’n LOVE. Unabashed, unfettered by thought. I’m talking about FULL SEND Love - not a thing in it’s way. Resistance free, Infinite Reality, Actual, Love. If you need help with a trigger of release...watch The Trials of Gabriel Hernandez on Netflix. Don’t turn it off. Watch the whole thing. Notice any judgmental (feeling evasive) thought. Let it go, let love replenish the emptiness it leaves.

The relationship that I had last was like pure romantic love. I had been in love before but it never felt this way. It felt too strong, the craving was of a different kind. I couldn't live without. It was fantasy coming to life. It was all I wanted and to be in it was my goal!!! Fast forward a few months and I lost it. I still loved but the honeymoon phase was over, the fighting phase began, we started fighting like kids, over petty things. I felt guilty, he felt guilty. I reached my break point and I gave up. I caved in and broke up. My heart shattered like pieces of shard. The love was strong, the pain of heartache stronger. From my experience of love and pain, I can say this much that true unconditional romantic wonderful love is totally possible. It comes like a star, it's goes with the wind. If I have to pick one experience in my life as the most beautiful and profound I will say it was falling in love truly deeply and madly. It's not a narcissistic fantasy. It is not preoccupied with the fulfillment of the Self. In fact it's the furthest from self love or narcissism. Unconditional pure romantic love is an act of selflessness, an act of the highest virtue, an adventure that is unforgettable, a feeling undeniable. If I have to describe how true love feels like I will use Shakespeare's words Love is wisdom of the fool and folly of the wise. (not sure if Shakespeare said this though) I will call "falling in love" one of the greatest experiences of life, without which life is really just a bunch of colors on the canvas. But love is a beautiful mystery, a mystic fountain of Bliss and eternity. It's like madness but in a good way, like an elixir that you should taste at least once in your lifetime to give meaning to life.. But there is a problem. As is the case with anything else in life, love does not come without its fair share of struggles and disappointment. If you found love and never lost it, you are really the lucky master. If you found it and lost it, you're lucky enough to have found it at least, be glad for that. The reality of love is that we are not fully equipped for it. To love someone unconditionally is the most selfless act of charity and kindness. However human nature is a bit selfish.. And selfishness creeps in like a demon into a loving relationship and lovers drift apart. Love itself is not to be demonized, it's pure as water, white as snow. It's we the vehicle of love that fall short of its enormous expectations and struggles. Our compassion falls short, our weaknesses begin to seep in.. Blaming love would be like Fox and the Grapes. The blame should lie not on the shoulders of Love but on human nature that cannot sustain the divinity of love. When you try to measure the benefits of unconditional love, that's being a narcissist because they look for situational gains.. A true lover does not see what he can gain out of love.. But it is more about loving the other person than wanting their love to reach you. Of course there are expectations but real love does not seek expectations at least in the beginning. So you can't be asking for better grades for your children or better success rate because that's calculative. True love doesn't see outcome or maximum output. It goes on loving even when there is no gain. That's unconditional love. True love is like a godly thing. It's a glimpse into sainthood. The kind of love a mother has for her child. True love is deep and strong and doesn't come with conditions. It's a different experience . Your heart expands and you feel a sense of intense joy and peace and seek fulfillment in that person being happy. Now your remark on nature is a bit cherry picked. Because nature is both mysterious and diabolical. There are examples of animals like dogs who have died for their masters. That is also nature. You're only looking at the brutality of nature because that will easily suit your narrative. Do you know that Sam Harris once gave the example of ducks in a discussion about rape. And how rape was a observed in nature. The thing is one cannot justify actions by citing nature. Since there are examples of true unconditional love in nature as well unconditional love is not visible like murder. It cannot be displayed as an act other than in sacrifice. But there are tons of examples where pets give us unconditional love despite not feeding the pet or in a situation of distress the pet gives priority to the owner than it's own life. What would you say of that? Have you had it the other way round, where a human gave up his /her life for a pet? I highly doubt it but maybe rarely. Most cases are of animal cruelties and abandonment. This shows human nature and not animal nature. So be careful while citing examples of animals because some animals have shown greater humanity than humans. True unconditional love romantic or not romantic is extremely challenging to sustain. First of all, to even have such a love already feels heavy enough and then to carry it becomes very difficult because the more Empathy you become the more likely you are to attract a Narcissist. If you start loving people in the most selfless ways, people will brutally crush you and take advantage of you, that's why it's kinda anti-survival. But it's Heroism. Just because people are ruthless, one should not stop loving because only love can heal eventually. You in your post make unconditional romantic love look like a transaction which it is NOT. It's the furthest from that. If you really loved your child, you would have no problem sitting in that cubicle for hours and hours for your family. Because that's what people with unconditional love do. They struggle not only for themselves but also for those who they care about. It's a sacrificial love. There are no GAINS in unconditional love, in fact you might experience more loss than gain. But that's what it is. It's never meant to be a gainful transaction. It's about GIVING not SEEKING. That's why it hurts especially when you don't receive as much as you give. A mother who gives unconditional love to her child grieves when her child grows up and neglects her or abuses her because this is the same child she raised with unconditional love. With such love the pain is great. Because she has to love and forgive the child despite its evil behavior. But if a parent showed transactional love, they will sue the child for damages, take the child to court or get in revenge mode to get what they want. Because they don't care if the child is hurt, as long as it is tit for tat. A lot of people equate true love with foolishness. It might appear that way because you have to give up so much in the process that it becomes anti survival. So indeed it's not the wisest form of love. It's not survival smart. But it's divine or spiritual. Because it's selfless and beautiful. When you realize that you truly love someone, you wouldn't want anything from them, you wouldn't sit and calculate what your earnings were, that's like carrying a tally book for matching gains versus losses like updating a balance sheet. Transactional people always feel that true love is a misery and unfruitful. They look at it as futile, a waste of time, a deflection, a childish notion.. It takes an amount of soul searching and maturity to know what it feels like and to stop judging it and realize that it's not meant to fit into our paradigm of survival and living just because it is not perfectly tailored to our demands. It's never meant for our desires or gratification. It's otherwise. Judgement is always easy but to understand it is to accept and embrace it as a an act of difficulty and Heroism. Only strong people can truly love. Most people can't. And those who truly love will face ginormous challenges and possibly give up at some point because human weaknesses and flaws will take over. Yet even the smallest amount of unconditional love that you showed to some human being or animal is worth an entire lifetime. It's the best thing that came out from an entire period of ruthless rat race to gain, survive, calculate and succeed. Best of luck

What do I want: I want to be happy. What does it mean to be happy, what does a happy life look like? I am feeling really good I have incredible energy levels I have clarity of mind I am relaxed and calm, and I am in a peaceful and yet happy state. I am free of worry, insecurity, guilty, shame, fear I do think hopeful, happy, positive thoughts I am a challenger adc I am one of the best adc's in the world I do to try my best in every league game I do feel the same whether i win or lose in every game I am completely unattached to the outcomes of life. Win or lose I am happy I do not judging others I do not judging myself I am not harsh towards myself and others I view others and myself with compassion, love and understanding. I am done seeking a better state, i just feel better first so i don't have to seek My third eye is open completely My head dissolved into bliss. I feel free I feel unlimited I feel amazing I feel connected I am that which is prior to all experience I am myself, whoever or whatever I am I see reality as it is. I am the truth I am love I am feeling my best I am my best I am honest I express myself honestly I am just being I am the third eye opened I am the truth

Ok, i will try to explain the experience "towards" it and embodying more and more over time in short. There is a space in you which is conceptualized as enlightenment or in a certain context you could say there this is wrong because you are beyond spaces, states and words and therefore it leads you towards that "space" or "state". You are before words and before creation and blah, blah, blah... So in my direct experience what i am noticing as i am growing is that, chakras are actual energy points, there is such a thing as energy flowing trough you and upwards you when you do spiritual practices. My energies are becoming more dominant upstairs, in the upper head region, i feel like i have a heavy, vital chord of bliss attached to me, like i am plugged into an internet from top of my head. I feel intense peace, sielence and not wanting anything also, feeling more and more complete with my death, with my timed life in this body. I find easier to detach from things and accept reality as it is. (If you read my journal, you will see that i maybe the opposite is true, however if i turn my attention to that recognition, that renounciation, that decision of "ok now, lets drop everything, let everything come and go, just notice it and do nothing else, if you are distracted, notice and just relax, come back") This "space" has a very specific and hard to find for beginners spot where it unfolds, i don't even know if you have to look for it, its really subtle and hard to explain, however with continiouty of practice and desire of truth this spot becomes your second nature more and more for you, you can access ir faster, more intensly and for longer periods of time and gradualy your cognition changes towards the metaphysical, which again directly reinforces the change in your energy more and more. More and more you feel this is a dream for you, more and more ecstatic you will become. Also when i close my eyes, i see that very darkness being infinite sometimes and i can't even locate my body sometimes, i feel like my senses are failing me and i don't know how much space i am taking but this is rare, however it happens more and more frequently. I don't remember having big enlightenment experiences, however what i have is very accessible and reliable day to day even with my "problems". I don't know how reliable it is for psychedelics users but my thing is very reliable as i am always sober, and i clearly see the sophistication of my cognition and how life is acctually sentient and how minds influence lessens over time, but i took me a few years. Hope it helps, i don't know how you should take this tho.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think your asking me to inspect the metaphysical of reality, I am trying to do that in so far as I can, it is my belief that romantic love is a lie, I do see how I've wrote this off, why, because I can't explain our complete nature, its tough to do and I don't know anyone which has done it. I am aware that we have a biological imperative, you can call it what ever you want, you could even call it "awareness". I only used the lion to illustrate a point, I could of used the fact that a female praying mantis literally rips the fucking head of their mates when having sex. I actual believe though that the human is unique, uniquely shit, Schopenhauer talks in great depth about this, even in the video we're compared to moles, animals seem to be much more content with mere existence than we are, they have no concept of the future or the past therefore they have no concept of death, animals are in many way in an enviable condition. I know of no lions to create concentration camps and in mass genocide hippos, though I may be wrong, I haven't directly experienced it. Also I can talk about having children although myself have not having children, if not speaking from direct experience is delusion than we're all fucking delusion, the earths flat there is no such thing as science and no countries exist since I haven't been there. Also no offence taken Yeah I agree, what I'm talking about isn't unconditional love, but its what our culture venerates as unconditional love, that is what I'm attacking I was joking about the narcissistic fantasies, although they do say ignorance is bliss, but they also do say that the truth will set you free, I will keep inspecting, and I get that I'm the only person who can realize the truth, because I only have my frame of reference, remember that applies to you to

Sounds like an amazing mystical experience and a glimpse of becoming Infinity. It will open you up. You will cry and cry in bliss and it will feel very liberating. There will be Infinite Love that is too powerful frankly for the human body to contain . It may not have been a total non-dual state but nevertheless powerful. I remember after i became conscious of my true nature afterwards i called some people i needed to make ammends with and told them i loved them and put aside all pride and past grudges. In fact pride was non-existent. It was just pure love. Are you doing meditation practices? There are things during these awakenings that you can become directly conscious of but anyways happy you experienced this. It definitely sounds like it was beyond just being happy. And there is a huge difference between one of these mystical experiences and just feeling happy or emotional. There is a Kundalini energy component that becomes so total.

it is on us death is on us, like now, litteraly I can feel it, this is here, the purge is on us. Don't fear the bliss of love UNITE OR DIE GOD TOOK ME TO BELIEVE IN SOMETHING I NEVER WANTED TO BELIEVE. I M NOT THE DOER OF THE SELF I M NOT THE THINKER NOTHING I CHOOSE IS MY CHOICE human race will pay by the debt of death DEATH IS ON US DEATH DEATH DEATH You can deny, deny, deny reality is above all denials. ONLY LIFE CAN SURPASS DEATH SAVE THE TRUE SELF KILL THE CANCER CELLS IF YOU DON T WAKE UP NOW, YOU'll LITTERALY DIE LEAVE THE CAGE

Everyone I love is not around me and at parties I didnt get invited to. Deep depression formed from feeling alone and loosing my friends and family and therefore my history. Decided to contemplate on what the sadness is. Long story short I became aware that my friends and family dont exist, their parties dont exist, and Im all Alone(with a capital A). This brought great joy because 1) no other can kill me and 2) I cannot loose other. And this is absolute. Absofuckenloooooot! Im here, the present moment, with nothing outside of me, nothing to kill me, no outer space to loose anything. And the best part of all I'm pure love and joy. Fuck yes what a nice state. I then realized that my sadness came from believing in a false notion of separation, which was caused purely by being sucked into a thought story outside the present moment. The present moment is literally all there is. What happened next was the the physical universe bent: trees bent, space bent. Simultaneously it went to darkness. The physical universe disappeared and all there was, was darkness. Then a pure white light came. With massive bliss, massive energy, massive love. I felt like my past was disappearing at a rate of knots, replaced with pure love. What in the actual fuck was that. Didn't even know the universe could disappear like that.

@JonasVE12 Because you depend on a substance to be / feel good. Making sure you are in a positive/feel good state all the time with the effective help of drugs, it's not a recipe for a good life, trust me. The difference is that when you are sober and you don't feel as good as you are high, you actually are very motivated to start building a life and grow yourself to "something" that makes you be/feel in a similar way that when you are high. However if you just take drugs, you are not building or developing yourself really. I could do the same with Kratom, for example, I used to love how relaxed it made me feel, and particularly how it gives you a perfect numbing from your emotions. You are basically able to do about almost everything but you don't feel emotional distress. Who wants emotional distress or dealing with emotions anyway? By that narrative "it should be obvious" that I should keep getting high. However I am lucid enough to see that if I do that strategy, I won't move myself to build a life and grow myself to be who I want to be . It just seems you are asking almost why we shouldn't do drugs everybody. You know Heroin actually is not quite bad for your body as long as is not very contiminated. Why not do it anyway? You can actually have a normal life while in the inside feeling bliss. Well because then your sober life has 0 interest and the only thing that makes sense for your brain is getting high. Not trying to compare weed with Heroin because the latter will ruin your life very shortly while with weed you can even have a happy life. I'm just pointing out the mechanics of justifying "why not been high all the time" are basically the same . With weed you are just saying too "well I'm going to keep using weed because definitely life is much easier and enjoyable in it". No shit. You just described drugs. But the price you'll pay is that you won't work on your sober-state life, a price that in my opinion is too high to justify being high.

@JonasVE12 Very nice lol. My goal is to be high all the time too. We are fucking gods. The high of enlightenment is the greatest high of all imo. We want to be our best, feel our best, and do our best in everything. Whatever gets us there is what gets us there. For me it was enlightenment. The trap is in seeking the high unconsciouslly. That's how you end up addicted to drugs on the street etc. But me a strategic mother fer going for the high and you will be all good. Bliss chasing is awesome, it's what i'm doing. Follow your bliss baby.

An interesting thing I came to realize after deciding to work on myself. I feel like video games and simulated realities of that nature are detrimental to the mind, because it's a distraction. It's ignorance. It's bliss for those in it because they don't have to look at themselves. Not only a distraction but there is negative programming behind it. An example is Grand Theft Auto.. it's a 2-D screen simulation of the real world. You can walk, drive, eat, kill, swim just like real life. Except in 2-D you can do shocking things. It's like an escape form, where you can express the sinister primal part of the mind without real world consequences (such as ramming a bunch of pedestrians in a stolen car) and is brainwashing those to be desensitized to this behavior in the mind. So when you sanctify yourself and awaken to yourself you start to gain control over your 3-D reality by using 4-D (energy) consciously. Things like meditation, sub-conscious programming, frequencies, manifestation, self awareness, etc. 4-D is like the language in which God speaks. God is 5-D. I very much hope I don't turn into Thomas Anderson What do you think about the future of the human race, based on the Ego's design and the collective Ego (society)?

@Zak Just a different perspective to consider...the value of practice, confidence, self assured ness, patience, mind expansion & understanding, the seeing through of nervousness / anxiety, single pointed concentration, no mind, flow state / disappearing in bliss, a body felt / known as love, freedom from psychological social conditioning, creativity, clarity in thought & communication, ease of expression, the recognition that Truth is everywhere, directly experiencing the vibrational nature of reality, discovering that if one can dream it one can experience it, etc...these were all realized by playing guitar & singing. Also, understanding passive income, automated processes, reinvestment, strategic thinking, flexibility & agility of thought, expanded strategizing, and I’d say the Joy of focus...mostly came from a video game. In hindsight, I’m so glad I didn’t judge these things.

I do not feel good. How do I know this is true. When i actually listen, and try to feel what it is that's here, there's a peace in the feeling it's not bad at all. That's interesting so when I actually question this core belief, that I don't feel good, and i actually test it against reality it turns out it's not true. Hmm, so it appears that the zone is always here. The zone is MYSELF. When i find myself, that's the zone. If i could just BEMYSELF in every moment, then I would be in the zone. Because MYSELF, is the best I can do. But there are concerns. MYSELF is peaceful, but myself isn't pure bliss and ectsasy that I thought I was getting. I believe that the high of god is better than any drug ever invented. MYSELF should be better than everything, but even in this moment I could imagine my life better. I could imagine better feeling etc. If you gave me 1 billion dollars then I would be happier I think, I mean i assume it would make me feel better. There's no such thing as a true thought. Bring all thoughts to light no matter how fked up they are, and you will see that even though you believe them to be true, the truth is that the thoughts are not true. The zone can be tested. So my theory right now is that the zone is MYSELF, and when i am aware of myself i will be in the zone. MYSELF can handle any challenge. MYSELF is challenger caliber in league of legends. Because if not MYSELF, then who is? And when is? The only time you can ever have anything is right now, with MYSELF, and only MYSELF, there is only ever MYSELF. I need to start dumping more of my thoughts onto a journal. This was an excellent purge holy fuck. I feel clearer in my writing already. Lol. I have may have stumbled on something major here wow.

I am in the zone- On the dream board: Working out resistant thoughts to being in the zone: I feel irritable, restless, anxious therefore I am not in the zone I am not sure if this strategy by Nahm is going to work. I'm still not clear on this stuff. This seems to simple to get me in the zone. There must be something else. Dam this is rough. I just want the zone, but the zone is not coming to me. Man i'm bored. I just want to be happy and feel good, and feel the flow and the bliss of being in the zone. I am content with the moment. It's not what i want, but it's also not a bad state. I really hope I can get in the zone. I hope i can be in the flow and totally focused while playing. I just want to have fun. I want to play the game, have fun, win or lose, and just enjoy the experience. That's what I WANT. to just enjoy the experience. i really hope i can get there with video games, where i just play the game and I have fun playing the game. I hope I can feel good while playing, that would be so awesome. I believe I can feel good while playing games. I really believe that I can achieve complete focus and flow while playing. Just playing, having fun, and trying my best. I can do it. I can try my best, win or lose, and just be happy no matter what playing the game. I believe I can do it. Pure joy, playing the game for the joy I get from playing, nothing else. I believe I can find my joy playing the game. I can't wait until my next game. I am going to be in the zone. I am going to try my best. I am going to just play. Win or lose. I just want to play the game. I'm going to mute my entire team and just play the game. That's what i want to just focus and play the game. I can do that. I can play, and when I recognize resistance I can just let that resistance go while playing. I can free myself one breathe at at ime while playing. I love playing. I'm so grateful I get to play video games for a living. Like i'm fucking practicing gaming, and thats my job lmao. I am going to make millions of dollars just playing the game, and writing my opinons about life. WHat a fucking joke lol. What an amazing life. I am so lucky to be here right now. Thank you god for making all this possible. Thank you world. Thank you universe. Holy fuck i get to play games and have incredible amounts of fun and joy just playing the game. Thats what my life is now. Just fucking play. Wow. Blows me away. Still kinda in disbelief about all of this stuff. Went from atheist to agnostic to dogmatic follower, now i found it. I found happiness woot woot. I can't wait to play the game. Gaming is awesome so much potentail for joy and love in gaming.

The truth is all good. So when we have any thought, perspective, etc that is not all good, like there's even 1% doubt in this perspective. Then we should let it go because the truth is that reality is all good, so when we choose something that's not all good then we know we fked up so it's time to pick another thought, find another way. @LfcCharlie4 thanks a lot. Yeah i want happiness, bliss is just the best i tasted so far so I thought that was the best thing to pursue. But i want to cut the shit. I just want to be happy. I've tasted it in moments in my life, now i want to live with it. I'm so thankful for my life purpose. I can't believe i'm going to make millions of dollars just playing games. I was fucking doing this anyways, I wuold play games like 10 plus hours per day but no one paid for me it. Now i'm getting paid doing something I would do free lmao, awakening is too fucking good. So overpowered in life. It's like I found a fucking cheat code to existence. @zeroISinfinity thanks man. I understand what you're saying i just gotta spend more time as MYSELF. i get dragged into thinking, distraction etc so often. But at least i found myself now so I know where happiness is. How long you think it will take me to be in god state for pro longed period, i really want that state for video games. Right now i get distracted too much. Is 1 hour of meditation enough you think? Just do that before i play?

@Raptorsin7 Awesome man, you're doing amazing! Just wanted to say, be careful not to demonize thinking. We don't need thoughts to live, as NAtural Pure Awareness takes care of everything, however, thoughts and the mind are merely tools to help us when we need them, like a latop! Do you want bliss? Or do you want absolute peace and happiness. Bliss will come, but bliss will pass, like how a trip passes, it could last years, however, what is 10000x better than any bliss or any high is the absolute happiness and peace that never leaves, why? Because it's our true nature, it is resting in the absolute. Congrats man, an LP where you get to play video games sounds awesome, you're a lucky guy

How do i enter a flow state. Man this question is driving me nuts. I know the state is the key to my business, but I just can't get it. Is the flow state what happens when you cease thiinking, and just feel? No, this can't be it. There has to be more. I feel my third eye popping like crazy, it feels like I'm on LSD but i'm not on LSD lol. This is great stuff. I never really imagined that the end game would be there is no difference between being high on lsd and not high. But that seems to be the direction i'm trending. I want flow. I want flow. I want flow. I want bliss. I know when the eye fully cracks there will be a bunch of bliss and good stuff waiting for me. I remember my last awakening everythign just made sense, and I felt incredible. 10/10 WOULD defintely try that again. Moving forward i'm going to just dump my mind into this journal. No more filter. I want to live in a state where i'm virtually never thinking unless i have to and it's got a clear purpose. The automaticity of my thinking needs to end. I wonder when i'll start writing. I'm thinking when i hit challenger because i'm improving so fast in league it's crazy. I can do an initial like 20 article road to challenger series. Should be good enough to release the website with. Plus my own guided meditation.

My Calling is to Inspire My Calling is to Embody Truth My Calling is Freedom My Calling is Beauty My Calling is Honesty My Calling is LOVE I sincerely accept my calling I AM Nobody Thus I am everything I SEE EVERYTHING ITS ALL ONE ETERNAL SINGULARITY OF LOVE ENDLESS BLISS AND ECSTASY I HUMBLY BOWN DOWN TO MYSELF

How do you know for you that the session is done? Marten W Ball said at some point that the session should end with you being grounded? Is that even possible haha Because I did Bufo once at an Ayahuasca Retreat and it was nice, [total bliss, light, timeless] but not a full breakthrough. My ego came back quite soon and I felt the desire to go deeper or 'back to that place'. But couldn't do it.

The beauty of awakening is there are no guiding principles. You can do whatever you want. Some of the most enlightened people choose to sit out in bliss and peace, that's their choice. But that's because they aren't evolved enough in the Integral stage department to realize they're the ones also suffering out there in the world. So after a certain point in development, when you've sat in bliss long enough, one might want to go out there and help others evolve their consciousness primarily. But denying to help others is also a form of love. It's the love of not helping, love of selfishness. The homeless guy on the street is also homeless for the love of being homeless. He created that circumstance as the creator of his reality. God wants to experience every possibility, he loves being homeless. It's the ego that makes it look "bad" and that which creates the suffering.

If a belief is "identification with thought" it seems related to action, which is the doing of things. For example, if a person believes that taking a vacation to Belize will help them relax and experience bliss, they are more likely to take the actions of planning a trip to Belize. If someone believes that visiting a jungle filled with terrorists would threaten their life, they are likely to take actions to avoid entering that jungle.

I remember what caused the most suffering during seeking is the feeling of incompleteness or lack of some kind. Like I wasn't whole and needed to find something that would complete this 'ME' character finally and I would understand everything perfectly. To seek It is to move away from It. You are already enlightened spirit. There is nowhere you need to go and nothing to you need to do in order to be that which you already are. The only issue is that you believe the thoughts that say you have to do something to get “there,” and that’s why you suffer and have “problems.” The mind says you’re lacking something, you’re inadequate in some way, that “there” is better than “here,” and the second we buy into the mind’s story, is the moment when peace ends and suffering begins. In a sense, seeking kicks us out of heaven and plants us squarely in hell. The only difference between Tolle, Kiloby, or any other master, is they don’t believe in, pay attention to, or identify with the endless mind-chatter. They, instead, pay attention to the empty space in between the thoughts and rest as THAT. Like watching trains coming in and out of the station, so they watch thoughts come and go in awareness. They don’t get on the train; they don’t try to put the train on different tracks, they don’t even try to stop the trains from coming. They just don’t care about the trains. Thoughts are empty. They pop in and out of awareness. Who knows where they come from and where they go. Therefore, why care? They’re as unstable and unpredictable as the weather. Why take them seriously? If the spiritual masters believed their thoughts, their identity would change from moment to moment. (Pssst: That’s what’s happening in the lives of us seekers. Who we are is our latest thought. “I’m unlovable…I’m a nice guy…I’m not good enough…I’m the best…I’m enlightened…I’m sick with cancer…I’m right…I’ll never get “there,” blah, blah, blah. Endless. Pointless. Useless.) Spiritual masters rest in and AS the peace, joy, bliss and completeness of the present moment—no matter what the thought-stream is saying. And we can too. We just did it for a few brief seconds and notice how contented you were! For that brief moment, everything was perfect even though nothing about life changed. In that moment you experienced your definition of awakening and enlightenment. Nothing to seek. It’s Here. Now. Completely. The only thing that stands between you and enlightenment is seeking. If there’s an enemy (and there’s not), it’s seeking. Enlightenment is not a place to reach, it’s not a thing to “get,” it’s frankly not even an experience. It’s the nature of the moment. Always. Only mind-chatter obscures it.

I just can't gather the courage/motivation to take a rectal breakthrough dose guys. I'm too scared of the hell I know for sure I'd be going through before the switch to bliss. Do you think getting drunk before doing it would be a good idea and would it require a bigger dose to breakthrough?