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@Space that...is fuckin class (<In northern Ireland thats a saying that's very common, it's like saying thats awesome). Man, the vibrations are brilliant...it makes you feel like your gonna vomit tho to haha haha? But the bliss is *sooooooooo* heavy, weighing down on me, my face, my arms...I can't move, or don't want to move. Bliss is the reality in that place. ? Pure. Amazing Man, I am so humbled by this whole experience, it's fucken awesome. I just can't wait to get more 5meo and progress towards enlightenment wayyyyyyyy faster ♥️

Haha ... Actually literally nothing, fuck. Yoooo I need to order myself more 5meo haha. Jesus. I had a really challenging DMT trip 2 days ago, had sort of divine heavenly music playing in my ears and I smoked a big bit of DMT and WOOSH everything magnified and turned into ULTRA HD blue digital pixils/tiles and massive chunks of reality where just getting ripped out with this amazing spectacle to behold. I remember shouting after it was over "wow"..."WOW......"*.W.O.W.**** really loud. Unfortunately the majority of my trip I was locked in a room with my *being* being ripped and destroyed and obliterated for 10 minutes haha. I knew it would purify me lots. After, I thought "fuck it" and smoked up 15mg of 5meo hcl (the batch that was good) unfortunately that was all I had left so I'm gonna have to order more. At that point I was translated into realms of bliss where overwhelleming euphoria permeates perpetually through your entire body and reality. Heaven. Lol. I can't WAIT to get moreeeee ?

yeah, angel always leave me with tears of love and bliss, soul travel really interesting, I heard of it before however never had experience with it are you aware of the travel ? do you have any memory of the experience or just see the outcome from it? I see you are reading An Introduction to Chaos Magic Chaos Magic one the best kind of magic for us we human are better in Chaos Magic than other spirit-entity best of luck

Some people have found great value in working with 5-MeO-DMT at lower dosages. Other people say 5 Meo dmt low dose is complete waste of time. Of course having a breakthrough experience on 5 meo dmt is much more valuable than low dose. But what about people who are not ready yet for a full dose and still want to get some value from this divine medicine. I want to share my results and want to know what values you get from low dose 5 meo dmt trips. Do you use it for therapeutic work? Do you do yoga exercises? Breath work? What do you do in the come up phase which is mostly very unpleasant? Here are my personal results from these trips,: Setting: I plugged low dose (3 mg - 10 mg) 5 Meo dmt hcl 15 times (with a different boofing technique postet here) and just sit in silence in my room with eyes opened or closed. during the trip: there is almost no fear, even when heart beat is racing and heavy breathing occur which last for 1-3 minutes no visuals at all negative thoughts in come up phase like "why are you doing this? maybe this time I will experience something really shocking, I should not do this again in the near future, please let the trip end in some Minutes) a little nausea sometimes sometimes I feel a little dizzy and cannot locate myself which is weird and unconfontable after comeup I can meditate well, there are less thoughts very rare: (just one time 4 mg low dose) I feel bliss and tears from my eyes flow. I wish I could experience this every time low dose.. after the trip: Biggest value: very strong music enhancement even days after. it feels like my head is slightly burning when I hear music. my dreams sometimes are a little psychedelic

Hey, i am very happy to hear. I am in the process of all that, because i have nothing else going for me right now. Since i have unfortunate circumstances i am doing my best to rest in myself, yes it produces some unusual levels of bliss and a few quantum glimpses, but nothing else sadly. Fortunately i have reinforced myself with timeless truths to apply when there is friction and restless consciousness stinking somewhere. Feels lile if i keep going there, i will be victorious. And thats because i am not worrying about when.

I seriously cannot believe that nobody would actually even try or attempt this considering how you guys consider yourself psychonauts. Let me explain why that small amount of DMT is necessary, it is like a jumpstart for the piezoelectric motor of the pineal gland. That jumpstart lasts for only 10 minutes so if you cannot get that motor running within 10 minutes, then wait a few minutes and try again. Taking a blastoff dose can be compared to overrevving a motor, the brain has built in functions which reduce the RPMs. Activating the pineal gland is COMPLETELY different. The goal is to start the piezoelectric motor at an RPM that can sustain itself indefinitely. When you manage to achieve that, this is when you will feel INFINITE bliss and happiness. I suggest you stay in this meditative state for as long as you can. Me being the idiot that I am, the first time I stayed in it for 30 minutes and still felt infinite bliss for two hours after leaving the meditative state. The second time I attempted it, it had the same success rate, so me being the idiot I am, stayed in that meditative state for only about 45 minutes. Thinking it was so easy, the third time I tried it, instead my consciousness arrived at something written in Sanskrit, then I felt something push me down. I opened my eyes and my entire room was in quantum darkness. I could move but knew I couldn't occupy any space. Then something grabbed me and I was taken into some pocket dimension with two beings that looked very pissed off. Then I was taken into a pocket of dimensions where I was shown the only thing truly real was consciousness. I was FULLY conscious so this was completely different from a trip. I'm not sure if it's because I shared the method before attempting a third time but I haven't been able to activate it ever since. So don't take it for granted.

Meditation is supposed to make you feel. That's it. If it is terrible stuff that is surfacing up, it will make you feel that. If it's time for bliss and love, it will make you feel that. Go with it. Good luck

@Dylan Page hey man, just know this...that existential pain (greatest suffering in the world when I had it) makes for INCREDIBLE fuel for awakening... You should do what I did, dedicate yourself to the discovery/path. Do it legit. Even on this website, actual awakening is very very rare. Become one of the few to actually become immortal God♥️ do not believe you are God. Do not disbelieve you are God either. Practices practices practices. Kriya yoga, self enquiry, concentration, contemplation, investigation. You've clearly got something up with your mind...you could be psychotic. Truth is, I don't know why you have existential anxiety. But one thing I know...healing is available if your willing to do the practices. Most people here don't focus on the practices and don't take it seriously... And the only thing I have to say is, if your condition is making your life Impossible to live happily, then the only logical choice is to dedicate yourself to the path of healing. The actual version. Sacrafice your entire life and you will save your life ??? Matthew 16:25 (NLT, Bible) "If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it." Nobody will understand when you try to explain this to them by the way. They wont. Get yourself some psychedelics my friend, and use them with care and power. They are the real workers of magic. ♥️ Anxiety was massive for me, I know very much what it's like. Also, doctors won't help you. Practices (and psycs) will help u. Test your psycs before consumption. You do not know what awaits you post awakening. I'm not awake yet, but I know what is awaiting my intuitively. I feel it's bliss stalking me. Heaven. Nirvana. BLISS ????? everlasting life. Unending love. Entering the divine dimensions

Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing? Leo Gura Jul 19, 2020 _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________ However in the video Leo says: " Everything is Nothing" and " there is no distinction between something and nothing " But the title does not say this. The title says that nothing exist only something exists. So where is the evidence that nothing exists other than "nothing" being an abstract dualistic concept but not a real thing? The title of the video is not " There is no Distinction Between Something and Nothing " Similarly Leo has said there is only Love and that hate doesn't exist and he justifies that because assuming nonduality is true then if we add hate to Love it's two things not one. ____________________________________________ So we return to the original title Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing? Prove that that is not true. That "nothing" doesn't exist. It's a mental construct. What about the idea Nothing is all there is , everything is an illusion? It doesn't matter, an illusion is not nothing. What about the statement alone Nothing is all there is ? That doesn't work because we experience different things. We only experience things, thoughts etc You go into a pitch black dark room insulated from sound yet you can sense your feet standing there, or your own breathing , thoughts memory etc. Just being alive you are experiencing and that is not nothing. Ok what about statements like Infinity is Zero Up is Down Hate is Love Everything is Nothing I am you You are Me If you take two words like this that are considers opposites and you put the word "is" or "am" in between. The are interesting because they doesn't make sense. They seem clever , paradoxical and your brain tries to make sense of them but it keeps looping an it can't In the video the idea is raise why does the universe have various things in it ? Wouldn't it be simpler and more elegant to have nothing? Hypothetically yes but that would be extremely boring. So we return to the original title Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing? Why wouldn't only something exist? Where is the proof that nothing exists? See, the intuition gets it right the first time. There is only something Then the mind comes in, intellectualizes and imagines that nothing also exists That's the minds illusion, nothingness. It's elegant in it's simplicity. However reality is not elegant in that way. Sometimes we find peace in simplicity. But that is because our minds can be overwhelmed if attempting to be aware of a multitude of things at once. To focus on on one sometimes is a needed relief from the whole universe Meditation is an artificial thing, But it is useful to use to step out of distracting, repetitive chatter We need to get away from "it all" sometimes ______________________________________________________________________ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/emptiness-most-misunderstood-word-in-buddhism_b_2769189 Emptiness: The Most Misunderstood Word in Buddhism “Emptiness” is a central teaching of all Buddhism, but its true meaning is often misunderstood. If we are ever to embrace Buddhism properly into the West, we need to be clear about emptiness, since a wrong understanding of its meaning can be confusing, even harmful. The third century Indian Buddhist master Nagarjuna taught, “Emptiness wrongly grasped is like picking up a poisonous snake by the wrong end.” In other words, we will be bitten! Emptiness is not complete nothingness; it doesn’t mean that nothing exists at all. This would be a nihilistic view contrary to common sense. What it does mean is that things do not exist the way our grasping self supposes they do. In his book on the Heart Sutra the Dalai Lama calls emptiness “the true nature of things and events,” but in the same passage he warns us “to avoid the misapprehension that emptiness is an absolute reality or an independent truth.” In other words, emptiness is not some kind of heaven or separate realm apart from this world and its woes. The Heart Sutra says, “all phenomena in their own-being are empty.” It doesn’t say “all phenomena are empty.” This distinction is vital. “Own-being” means separate independent existence. The passage means that nothing we see or hear (or are) stands alone; everything is a tentative expression of one seamless, ever-changing landscape. So though no individual person or thing has any permanent, fixed identity, everything taken together is what Thich Nhat Hanh calls “interbeing.” This term embraces the positive aspect of emptiness as it is lived and acted by a person of wisdom — with its sense of connection, compassion and love. Think of the Dalai Lama himself and the kind of person he is — generous, humble, smiling and laughing — and we can see that a mere intellectual reading of emptiness fails to get at its practical joyous quality in spiritual life. So emptiness has two aspects, one negative and the other quite positive. Ari Goldfield, a Buddhist teacher at Wisdom Sun and translator of Stars of Wisdom , summarizes these two aspects as follows: The first meaning of emptiness is called “emptiness of essence,” which means that phenomena [that we experience] have no inherent nature by themselves.” The second is called “emptiness in the context of Buddha Nature,” which sees emptiness as endowed with qualities of awakened mind like wisdom, bliss, compassion, clarity, and courage. Ultimate reality is the union of both emptinesses. Some Buddhist students think that a meditative state without thought or activity is the realization of emptiness. While such a state is well described in Buddhist meditation texts, it is treated like all mental states — temporary and not ultimately conducive to liberation. ___________________________________________________________ Reality is impermanent. Things come and go. When they go do they go into "nothingness? " No they disappear. They don't go into a place called "nothingness" Nothingness is the mental construct. That is the idealistic illusion things don't have "no" or "non" in front of them. Those are abstractions There is. There is no such thing as nonduality. Absence of duality is not a thing And because it's not at thing that doesn't mean duality is real. that is another construct There only are things And if you says there are only illusions of things illusions are not nothing They are something Welcome to somethingness

@zeroISinfinity If there was absolutely nothing wrong with me I wouldn't be on a self help forum seeking advice from strangers on how to be happy lol. Coaching didn't work but there's more going on than just lack of development for coaching. I agree that i lack development and if i was more mature and at different stage in life than i bet Nahm's teachings could help me. But the main thing we got stuck on was how to choose a better feeling thought, that was the biggest block lol. Nahm would say pick a different thought that feels good, and my mind would start going all over the map trying and i could never find a better feeling thought. He also stressed the importance of meditation to feel good, but i've tried meditating a lot over the years and i never experienced what he was saying. It was basics of basics that i couldn't grasp. In hindsight i think LSD is what gave me the most improvement over the last few months. It forced me to just sit down and face what's going on. The only 2 good trips i had were trips where i was able to fully relax and release tension from my head. That's what it was that worked so well, the LSD just let me relax and unwind tension which i don't think i really ever did in my life. My family is full of insanely hard workers they don't know how to relax but for some reason it doesn't bother them. My uncle is a good doctor, and i sent him an email after my LSD breakthrough trip, where i felt bliss flowing through me and released all the tension from the third eye, and he told my mom he's pretty sure i'm manic depressive and i need lithium, or prozac. I think he's ri'ght. My guess is over the years i've been at a low, depressive state, and periodically i've hit highs, and those almost always come with major life upheavels. I think i got used to the Lows throughout the years, so the low state just became my baseline and i never really considered that i was just chronically depressed and in a low. I've reached to out some psychoanalysts that also work as psychiatrists so i'll know in the coming weeks about a diagnosis and treatment plan. I'm assuming meditation, running, thinking etc will be a lot more beneficial when i'm able to be relaxed and low tension from meds. @kag101 has posted a similar story. He was chasing enlightenment neurotically, doing meditation, ayausca, and various other new age therapies and he managed to find relief and real progress with meds and therapy.

I have to sit for at least 1 hour if I really want to bliss out in self inquiry. Imo one of two things is happening here: 1) Your I-thought has got to a blank state. This is a sneaky trick of the Ego where the mind goes quiet and creates the impression that it has been diminished, but actually it's just another mental state. I was fooled by this for about a year before I really understood what falling away was. If you want to check if this is happening I highly recommend Leo's guided "the next level of meditation" video as he really gets you to let go of everything. 2) Your definition of emotions are still wrapped up with the Egoic self, in which case you need to temper your expectations. Remember, you're going beyond the realm of conceptual experience here. Don't expect to be happy, excited, overjoyed or awe-struck whatever. These are all emotions about something. The emotion of abiding in the Self is beyond description but its about the most enjoyable feeling there is.

Follow your bliss. I'm repeating myself for the third time already, and I plan on doing so should a new thread require it, when I say -- let it be natural. Whatever purpose you are seeking you already are. It's not a purpose of some future you, of someone else. It's buried within you. Right now. At this moment. Otherwise you wouldn't be looking for it. It's right in your face. I say fuck that unless it's an intrinsic calling. You gotta sit down and be brutally authentic whether being of service to others is your top value. Don't mistake it for not sharing your gifts with the world. I had a period when I ached to become a mentor. In a way, I still do that through art; through imagination and metaphors, but I'm talking about the more direct version of teaching or coaching. Now, listen carefully. All I saw was ignorance in the world - everyone around me was ignorant - and therefore I wanted to "teach them a lesson." Be the wise guy. Be known for knowing. Would it really be authentic for me to become a teacher like Leo? No, it would be destructive and egoistic. After some awakenings, I realized 99,99% of people wouldn't get to the highest wisdom anyway and I never saw a point in teaching them directly again. Leo teaches because it is his inner calling, yet he knows there was never a point. I couldn't. Because my motives were to have people thank me and kiss my feet. Since then, my purpose is more hermitish. I admire what a real teacher has to endure. I really do. It's s noble cause. Your students will nod on everything you say, and yet 99,99% will remain miserable and blind. Look at Leo's most recent video's comment section. You could literally be as direct as possible with words, and yet there is hardly any way around this. That's why your purpose requires extreme authenticity. Only you can figure out whether it suits you. Remember the first paragraph.

I love the day I do go for walk outside and talk to everyone who can smile back at me. I guess you are now over-thinking of how to do this as step one as this, and step two as that, etc. Have you recalled back to just listen to that thought (not to debate to that), just listen to it? Pragmatically, you can do nothing, lay down for how-many-hour-you-think-you-need, and listen to it or at least let that thinking flowing through. Do nothing. You are young, I am even younger than you. But here is a thing: why you want to impact the world? -> You love yourself. That is not the romantic love sentence as you are in a Courtroom. You love yourself to do this process. You love yourself to be a little bit ‘not serious’ to sometimes joking around like ‘Here was difficult. Oops how it is going? And I don’t know’. And when that comes up, do you still keep doing or going outside and walking around. You love yourself as the same who are even being a so-called ‘mediocre’ as you don’t want to be. Willing you to talk about something or ask him or her what he or she is doing? And can you realize he or she has been a genius as well? ”A day is long and a year is short” What you love is needed to love the day. The love for even getting yourself to have a ‘depressed’ and because of that depression, can you please your mental health more than what-you-did-mention-as-following-your-heart? And the most powerful insight that how I need to keep myself following my bliss more is the Life Purpose is just as the way to keep yourself to live with love to contribute positively to this Experience and not to ‘how-to-be-a-genius’ or ‘read-1000+-books’, and ultimately you are living with love. The love of Life Purpose is so powerful but you are taking it as the whole world, sometimes it is but it is nothing when you have lists of techniques to do this stuff like ‘in the morning, I will have 3 cycles of deep work. And later maybe, I have 4 hours of pomodoros, and in the evening, I will speedread up to be Lenin’s style of that’. Hell no, is it that how-to? I still there is a ton of things that you are facing and I do too. But ask yourself, if you are even living somewhere else like SEA, willing you to do it or blame that country is not suitable for your so-called ‘Life Purpose’? Look around, you are having a lot of advantages than someone living in SEA like me. ? Nothing will change even that dream not being able to achieve but your love of this Experience. Don’t tell me because I am living in SEA and it’s as so-called counter-intuitive as ‘That is the disadvantage as the most motivating you as the real motivation’. ?!. I did wish.

@Dario1995 , those stories of spontaneous enlightenment and bliss experiences are more depressing than inspiring. Wonder how many people strive and aspire for the same and feel despair when nothting comes their way. I was given channelled advice that the high anxiety and tension caused by the striving acts as a barrier and so it is self-defeating. I spent many days and weeks in the belief that if I cried hard enough or desired hard enough I would become enlightened. Of course, it didn't happen. Have you read "Enlightenment Ain't What it's Cracked Up to be: A Journey of Discovery, Snow and Jazz in the Soul" by Robert Foreman? It is the most sensible book written on the topic. You'll find interviews by Robert Foreman on YouTube.

Yo yo yo Let's drop some words Full of Love, coming from above Sky full of swans and little doves Yeah, existence dancing in bliss The sky giving moon a little kiss Unity, love, compassionate hugs T-shirts, merch and actualized.org cups Running in the streets and swimming in the lake Feel like a rapper, i feel like drake The speed just keeps increasing and there are no brakes, and no breaks either, it's a continuous flow, running thru the ether I like cake, i like chocolate too Turtles Icecream is the best, i feel like not-two Yeah! My eyes are blue and I'm about to take a flight. Reach new heights. I'm not strapped to a rocket, I'm floating on light. The stars shine and the angel sings I let out a roar and spread my wings Unload my luggage from the wagon, i need no carry ons, I'm a dragon Oh yeah, the blue eyes white dragon Flying so high Living in the sky He's no ordinary guy He's not even shy Nor is he high He's friends with Bill Nye, the science man Watched all his shows, he's a big fan Don't need no tan Cuz it's hot, gimme an ice cold can I would run a mile but i already ran Just to end the show now Drop the mic, out of sight

@Marianitozz Hey, fellow artist! Listen up. I know this will take someone who's also a creator to answer. I went through the same process back in 2017-2019. Imagine a wave for me. Will you, please? Imagine a bell curve with only one hill in the middle. At first, you practice your craft without a second thought about selfishness and selflessness. Ignorance is bliss, and therefore you compose music or do writing in my case, just for the sake of it (assuming you did.) The beauty of art flooded your veins. Your heart was on fire. Everything was fine, but then, the goddamn spirituality came. How dare it stole my sweet illusions -- only wait, don't share that glass of wine. Don't drink from it yet. The point came where you arrived at the foot of the mountain. This is where the curve becomes steep. You slowly start walking up the hill, and at the peak you may find melancholic sorrow and feel like nothing has meaning anymore. This is also where you'll feel like you're balls deep in spirituality, when in fact you're as far as you could be. As you walk up, you take on new theories and ideas, perhaps even practices, and you start morphing into what should be the right thing to do. Often these thoughts aren't truly yours, and merely reflect your surroundings. Along the journey you hear about self-actualization and nonduality, and suddenly all your actions and goals strive to reflect this seeming Golden Bull of Sicily even harder, because if they don't, they are low consciousness, trash, ordinary. You might even take on new purposes that aren't yours, perhaps you'd want to shoot videos or become a coach like Leo, because your mind is so desperate to find itself. I've seen many people here do that, and I'm only hoping they knew themselves well enough at the time. Keep walking. One day, it will click for you. It might take you three weeks, or it might take you three years as it did for me. Here's the secret: The peak of the hill is an illusory top. Real spirituality comes later when the curve begins to flatten again. You come back to where you started (don't mistake it for the band or people) -- and practice your craft for the sake of it again. Only this time accompanied by a slight smile on the corner of your face. You appreciate the journey you had to undertake, for it brought peace and authenticity. You found the inner muse again, and life regained colors. I now write poems on Instagram and plan on immersive short stories. The question that truly settled me after all those years: What am I practicing writing for? What am I channeling through it? Truth is, you could say I became a refracting glass prism. That, and only that, a vehicle for reflecting the beauty of the universe. That is my purpose as an artist. On the outside, people may see the rainbow fragments of light, but to you art became something greater along the way. It was great even when you began, only now you realize it. I'll be waiting for you, fellow artist.

@zeroISinfinity I'm not seeking anymore, not in the sense that i expect to find awakening or enlightenment or bliss etc. I'm going still going to talk to Ramaji because i enjoy the call, and there's no downside to continuing. Good thing about seeking map with stages, is i know if i'm at a certain stage or not. if nothing changes in direct experience over next few months and i'm stuck at a singular stage then i'll know to just move on. I don't have any actual life stuff going on. Today i woke up, had tea and oatmeal from my grandma, argued with you and freaked about Nahm, then went to doorshop until 7, then talked to my mom about her maybe being sick and worrying about me and my brother, then sent some emails to psychoanalysits/psychiatrists, then weighed blueberries, now i'm on couch talking to you. The entire day is permeated by background sadness and hopeless feeling. I'm pretty fucking sure this is depression, and this is why they have therapists and psychiatrists to deal with problems like this. I wonder how many people just brute force through these feelings and thoughts, thinking they don't need therapy and meds because it's not real and then get stuck in misery for years for no reason. Every fucking idiot on this forum was sucking off @winterknight a few months ago, before i got here. I actually heard of him from one your posts. You know what he fucking said. Seekers should see psychoanalyst before going for full awakening because psychological baggage will be too much to notice results. He said work through psychological issues first. Which is exactly what i'm going to do.

I had a short glimpse of non-dual state which lasted for a day. I went out and everything I saw, no matter what it did, I saw that it was all me. I had a deep sense of bliss and love, but slowly as I began to describe the state, it all went away. I haven't tried psychedelics and in fact, my first mystical experience was a result of just being introduced to enlightenment and Alan Watts' talks about the World being the Self. Do you have any advice as to how I can navigate this bind when the ego has complete grasp on the mystical state? I know that it is silly to ask these questions because there is nothing to ask about but if you would like to guide me here, I would appreciate it.

@Thought Art I love the concept that the mastery will find you and not you to find the mastery. It’s now all about your happiness or so-called ‘follow your bliss’ in the time that you settle down for the training, work, learn, etc. You don’t care about ‘whether tomorrow you have got better or not’, so there is for what as you might think but beyond that. That thing is the real thing to work on yourself. What is the thing that is not supported to that but your mind while you think you are not able to achieve that thing? Hey, there are still goals as well. It's not different than some folks who are having the tracking-every-minute schedule of every day when you wake up and see the distance between you and your dreams. And you know clearly that how burned-out will kill your next days. Even you are a polymath who loves a lot of thing, don’t cram everything without reading carefully with your curious. I did read a lot but nothing would help, and burned out a lot. Even that you need to do the counter-intuitive move: slowly reading and enjoy it as the nothing will change even the mastery you dream of being not ever able to achieve. And if you still think you must read a book a day to follow your dreams, you will not able to be at least a Polymath. Do you want that schedule while you’re in what-you-did-mention? And still love that?

@Leo Gura I'm the Devil, God told me. It's a long story. I was a devout Christian. You cannot spend you entire life deathly afraid of the Devil and afraid of being bad, pursue awakening and not realize "I am the Devil" without all hell (and bliss) breaking loose. Not two. You are not two.

@Preety_India Character, will — 11 "Gentle" - you are willed enough and have a level head. You can be a leader without any diktat or aggression, and able to be a compliant, enterprising and patient managee. You prefer to avoid severe conflicts. Vital energy — 2222 "Strong energy" - you have excess energy. Therefore, you are a donor for most people with low energy.You can become a politician, an artist, a musician, an athlete, and even a psychic with the potential of a healer. People around you feel your charisma. In posse, you can influence others’ will. It’s no wonder that in big companies and get-togethers you manage to attract persons of the opposite sex, especially with energy from 0 to 22. Examples of 2222 ◦ Steve Jobs - co-founder of Aplle and Pixar, entrepreneur, businessman, inventor ◦ Jared Leto - actor, director and leader of 30 Seconds to Mars ◦ Wayne Gretzky — the greatest hockey player ever ◦ Kurt Cobain — musician, songwriter, leader of Nirvana ◦ Carmen Electra — glamour model, actress, TV star, singer, and dancer Cognitive, creative — 33 "Basic abilities" - having this potential, you can master the exact sciences, techniques, algorithms. Or become an artist, a writer, an actor. Thanks to your imagination, you are able to generate original ideas. But you really have to work hard and do your best if you want to receive recognition from the public. Examples of 33 ◦ Sergey Brin — co-founder of Google, computer scientist, internet entrepreneur ◦ Dennis Ritchie — computer scientist, creator of C language ◦ Ken Thompson — pioneer of computer science, creator of UNIX OS Health, beauty — empty "Low health reserves" - the health is weak and it is not necessary to exert excessive stress on it. Fitness, yoga, proper nutrition, prevention are the best friends. Do not rely on looks and beauty. It is better to pay attention to other strong qualities and focus on them. Logic, intuition — 5 "Inclination to use logic" - If this person did not master something from the word go, then they will certainly understand the backbone of the subject with a calculator and paper. It will be difficult to plough through books about Quantum Physics, but for elementary life tasks "1" in logical thinking is enough. Labor, skill — empty "Will never be a jack of all trades" It is better not to take up an activity that looks complicated, painstaking and requires accuracy or technology compliances. However, people with 0 in this cell usually do not really like such spheres. Manual labor is not theirs. Luck — 7 "With a talisman" - of course, 7 does not guarantee a jackpot after the first bet, but will save from minor troubles and sometimes help to catch luck in the nick of time. Duty — empty "Owe nothing to anyone" - public or other duties are usually not familiar to this person. He or she can not be called a complete egoist, but all their goals are directed primarily at themselves. In their dreams, they strive for "freedom" and "independence", for which read absence of any kind of responsibility to anyone or anything. Intellect, memory — 999 "Mind like a steel trap" - any study or work with information is very easily. And this often causes boredom and reluctance to learn. This person can become erudite too easy. But in fact they should look for a really interesting and profound subject to study, and the more difficult it is, the greater will be their curiosity and results. Examples of 999 ◦ Stephen Hawking — theoretical physicist, cosmologist ◦ Dennis Ritchie — computer scientist, creator of C language ◦ Michael Jordan — the greatest basketball player of all time Secondary abilities (lines and diagonals) Self-Esteem (Line «1-2-3») — 8 "Inflated" - the person highly estimates themselves. In addition, beliefs like "I deserve more", are very typical. It is to be noted, that high and inflated self-esteem are the most real incentive to do things in a big way. But one day most of these people look back with the benefit of hindsight and understand that they did not become what they wanted. And here they get depressed, or make a quantum leap forward. Moneymaking (Line «4-5-6») — 1 "Not independent" - this person will do everything to stay under the wing of their parents as long as possibles. And then they will look for a spouse who can bring home the bacon. Talent (Line «7-8-9») — 4 If the person is evidently talented and works to unleash its potential (you can pay attention to other cells) then this figure indicates the potential development of this talent. Tenacity (Line «1-4-7») — 3 "Unpredictable" - the person likes to set goals, and then suddenly change them. By the way, achieving goals is not their favorite occupation - they prefer to dream of patronage over the world than to conquer it. Sometimes they tend to overestimate themelves. Domestic bliss (Line «2-5-8») — 5 "An idealist" - this person has their own beliefs about what a wholesome family should look like. Therefore, they carefully look for an ideal match, and then, being in a marriage, try make themself, their partner and family relationships fully comply with their ideals. But their partner is not always ready to put up with it. Stability (Line «3-6-9») — 5 "Very stable" - practically never change their habits and surroundings, remain loyal to familiar things, even if the new ones are better. What is it: tediousness or predictability? Anyway, some of the surrounding people appreciate this, the others do not. But it is believed that this person is worth to trust. Spirituality (Diagonal «1-5-9») — 6 "Fanaticism" - high spirituality turns into idolatry. The edges of the sensible are blurred. In words, the person speaks of a high, but in deeds becomes obsessed with the rudeness, injustice and dishonor of those around him. Also there is a risk of falling under the influence of cults. Temperament (Diagonal «3-5-7») — 4 "Warm" - the need for intimacy is high, so if there is no soul mate, this person makes every effort to find love. However, people with 3 or 5 in temperament suit them best because and help to elicit their potential; this person is considered to be rather faithful.

@zeroISinfinity Character, will — 111 "The Golden Mean" - your character is named like this because you are able to get along with all the other types of characters. You’ll have an edge over a person with weaker willpower and will ably match someone who’s stronger. However, you often act like a combative, challenging other leaders and society person. Examples of 111 ◦ Bill Gates — founder of Microsoft, business magnate and philanthropist ◦ Kim Jong-il — ex-leader of North Korea ◦ Steven Spielberg — director, producer, and screenwriter ◦ Wayne Gretzky — the greatest hockey player ever Vital energy — 222 "Impulsive energy" - you can handle any ordinary activity and make an effort of will, but at extreme moments you are also capable of an extra effort. Only with your own presence, you can improve the patient’s condition or instill optimism in a desperate partner. People like you are outstanding public figures, musicians, business coaches and inspirers for others. The danger is that your "222" energy works like a magnet for energy vampires, especially for persons of the opposite sex. Examples of 222 ◦ Marilyn Monroe — actress and model, sex symbol of the 1950s ◦ Michael Jordan — the greatest basketball player of all time ◦ Harrison Ford — actor and film producer ◦ Jim Carrey — comedian, impressionist, screenwriter, and producer ◦ Adolf Hitler — dictator of the German III Reich Cognitive, creative — 333 "An Impulsive Scientist and Creator" - you have serious prospects to master any exact science, technique, algorithm or knowledge system, to make a name for yourself in any creative spheres. In addition to this, you are a dreamer and an experimenter - it makes you different from "33" and "3". But remember: you have too wide area of thought, sometimes along with a sick imagination and the inability to concentrate on something that requires to study hard. Your abilities can appear spontaneously and not always at the right moment. Examples of 333 ◦ Steven Spielberg — director, producer, and screenwriter ◦ Larry Page — co-founder of Google, computer scientist ◦ Mark Zuckerberg — co-founder of Facebook, Internet entrepreneur ◦ Elon Musk — co-founder of Tesla and SpaceX, engineer and inventor Health, beauty — empty "Low health reserves" - the health is weak and it is not necessary to exert excessive stress on it. Fitness, yoga, proper nutrition, prevention are the best friends. Do not rely on looks and beauty. It is better to pay attention to other strong qualities and focus on them. Logic, intuition — empty "Logic is not a forte" This is a trait of dreamers who are hovering in the clouds. They are not good with long chains of facts and reasoning. They can be easily confused, so they constantly run into the same trap. People without "5" are more emotional than rational. Labor, skill — 6 "Inclinations of diligence and skill" - capriciously this person can cope with any work that requires diligence, accuracy and technology compliances quite well. Of course, they will not become a "jeweler" at once, but whether it’s building a house, repairing or something that does not require over-skillful hands, then, most likely, it will work out. And in the process this person will sharpen their skills. Luck — 7 "With a talisman" - of course, 7 does not guarantee a jackpot after the first bet, but will save from minor troubles and sometimes help to catch luck in the nick of time. Duty — empty "Owe nothing to anyone" - public or other duties are usually not familiar to this person. He or she can not be called a complete egoist, but all their goals are directed primarily at themselves. In their dreams, they strive for "freedom" and "independence", for which read absence of any kind of responsibility to anyone or anything. Intellect, memory — 999 "Mind like a steel trap" - any study or work with information is very easily. And this often causes boredom and reluctance to learn. This person can become erudite too easy. But in fact they should look for a really interesting and profound subject to study, and the more difficult it is, the greater will be their curiosity and results. Examples of 999 ◦ Stephen Hawking — theoretical physicist, cosmologist ◦ Dennis Ritchie — computer scientist, creator of C language ◦ Michael Jordan — the greatest basketball player of all time Secondary abilities (lines and diagonals) Self-Esteem (Line «1-2-3») — 9 "Inflated" - the person highly estimates themselves. In addition, beliefs like "I deserve more", are very typical. It is to be noted, that high and inflated self-esteem are the most real incentive to do things in a big way. But one day most of these people look back with the benefit of hindsight and understand that they did not become what they wanted. And here they get depressed, or make a quantum leap forward. Moneymaking (Line «4-5-6») — 1 "Not independent" - this person will do everything to stay under the wing of their parents as long as possibles. And then they will look for a spouse who can bring home the bacon. Talent (Line «7-8-9») — 4 If the person is evidently talented and works to unleash its potential (you can pay attention to other cells) then this figure indicates the potential development of this talent. Tenacity (Line «1-4-7») — 4 "Confident" - the person sets ambitious goals, assesses the resources to achieve them and, as a rule, fulfills the plans. In fact, this person’s potential is even higher, but too sky-high goals scare them away, though they could try to reach them. Domestic bliss (Line «2-5-8») — 3 "Spontaneous" - this person may say that they will never enter marriage or it is not for them. But one day they’ll send invitations to their wedding, and everything will seem to be ok till the day when they suddenly apply for divorce. Stability (Line «3-6-9») — 7 "Too many habits" - a person becomes a slave of their stability. They sometimes try to fight it, but mostly unsuccessfully, replacing useless habits and attachments with other ones. The person is extremely hard to budge. Spirituality (Diagonal «1-5-9») — 6 "Fanaticism" - high spirituality turns into idolatry. The edges of the sensible are blurred. In words, the person speaks of a high, but in deeds becomes obsessed with the rudeness, injustice and dishonor of those around him. Also there is a risk of falling under the influence of cults. Temperament (Diagonal «3-5-7») — 4 "Warm" - the need for intimacy is high, so if there is no soul mate, this person makes every effort to find love. However, people with 3 or 5 in temperament suit them best because and help to elicit their potential; this person is considered to be rather faithful.

@zeroISinfinity here we go: I made yours.... But I am not sure yet about numerology. Just read it for fun! ________________________________ Main abilities (square's cells) Character, will — 1111 "The Leader" - you are always calm and confident. These two are predominant features of your character. You voice your opinion softly, but weightily, making others listen to you or even grow quiet. You can show yourself cruel rarely, but right on target. And people feel this cruelty in you. Most of the richest and influential people in politics, business, military and sport have 1111 and 11111 characters. Examples of 1111 ◦ Chuck Norris — martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter ◦ Michael Schumacher — a German retired racing driver in Formula 1 ◦ Michael Jordan — the greatest basketball player of all time Vital energy — 222 "Impulsive energy" - you can handle any ordinary activity and make an effort of will, but at extreme moments you are also capable of an extra effort. Only with your own presence, you can improve the patient’s condition or instill optimism in a desperate partner. People like you are outstanding public figures, musicians, business coaches and inspirers for others. The danger is that your "222" energy works like a magnet for energy vampires, especially for persons of the opposite sex. Examples of 222 ◦ Marilyn Monroe — actress and model, sex symbol of the 1950s ◦ Michael Jordan — the greatest basketball player of all time ◦ Harrison Ford — actor and film producer ◦ Jim Carrey — comedian, impressionist, screenwriter, and producer ◦ Adolf Hitler — dictator of the German III Reich Cognitive, creative — 33 "Basic abilities" - having this potential, you can master the exact sciences, techniques, algorithms. Or become an artist, a writer, an actor. Thanks to your imagination, you are able to generate original ideas. But you really have to work hard and do your best if you want to receive recognition from the public. Examples of 33 ◦ Sergey Brin — co-founder of Google, computer scientist, internet entrepreneur ◦ Dennis Ritchie — computer scientist, creator of C language ◦ Ken Thompson — pioneer of computer science, creator of UNIX OS Health, beauty — empty "Low health reserves" - the health is weak and it is not necessary to exert excessive stress on it. Fitness, yoga, proper nutrition, prevention are the best friends. Do not rely on looks and beauty. It is better to pay attention to other strong qualities and focus on them. Logic, intuition — empty "Logic is not a forte" This is a trait of dreamers who are hovering in the clouds. They are not good with long chains of facts and reasoning. They can be easily confused, so they constantly run into the same trap. People without "5" are more emotional than rational. Labor, skill — 6 "Inclinations of diligence and skill" - capriciously this person can cope with any work that requires diligence, accuracy and technology compliances quite well. Of course, they will not become a "jeweler" at once, but whether it’s building a house, repairing or something that does not require over-skillful hands, then, most likely, it will work out. And in the process this person will sharpen their skills. Luck — empty "Not the lucky one" - this person never gets help from above. They should make a lot of attempts without expecting a sudden success if they want to do the trick. But you must admit that working hard and achieve success and have an accidental success are different things. Duty — 88 "Do good for others" - these people usually have a well-developed social orientation and high communication skills. If this was revealed in their childhood, then they fulfil their potential in social activities, they are happy to devote a large part of their time to others, but they do it without bigotry. If their social realization failed, they often begin to help abandoned dogs and cats, homeless people, and take care of the sick and lonely. Intellect, memory — 9 "Basic intelligence" - information is processed on the principle of "practice makes perfect". This person can’t remember too many facts and things. Therefore, they should not overload themselves with superfluous knowledge - it will be forgotten. But in practice, they can perfectly use the information that they constantly work with. Secondary abilities (lines and diagonals) Self-Esteem (Line «1-2-3») — 9 "Inflated" - the person highly estimates themselves. In addition, beliefs like "I deserve more", are very typical. It is to be noted, that high and inflated self-esteem are the most real incentive to do things in a big way. But one day most of these people look back with the benefit of hindsight and understand that they did not become what they wanted. And here they get depressed, or make a quantum leap forward. Moneymaking (Line «4-5-6») — 1 "Not independent" - this person will do everything to stay under the wing of their parents as long as possibles. And then they will look for a spouse who can bring home the bacon. Talent (Line «7-8-9») — 3 If the person is evidently talented and works to unleash its potential (you can pay attention to other cells) then this figure indicates the potential development of this talent. Tenacity (Line «1-4-7») — 4 "Confident" - the person sets ambitious goals, assesses the resources to achieve them and, as a rule, fulfills the plans. In fact, this person’s potential is even higher, but too sky-high goals scare them away, though they could try to reach them. Domestic bliss (Line «2-5-8») — 5 "An idealist" - this person has their own beliefs about what a wholesome family should look like. Therefore, they carefully look for an ideal match, and then, being in a marriage, try make themself, their partner and family relationships fully comply with their ideals. But their partner is not always ready to put up with it. Stability (Line «3-6-9») — 4 "Stable enough" - the person is steady and slow to start, so sometimes others consider them to be draggy, but also reliable and predictable Spirituality (Diagonal «1-5-9») — 5 "The highest level of spirituality" - this person with 5 figures in this diagonal could be an example of purity and high thoughts. Сuriously enough, but there are many examples of businessmen and public figures with this sign. And this suggests that they do their job not only for the sake of money. Temperament (Diagonal «3-5-7») — 2 "Normal" - this temperament will suit most other temperaments. But there is a prone to cheating because this person is not fully confident in their abilities and would like to assert themselves in the love department.

Btw, another amazing insight that I had during my after-trip meditation in the park was that trying to silence your thoughts and desires is in fact utter silliness. Newsflash: Your thoughts and desires are the very expression of divine Love! Do you want to silence God's Love in order to reach eternal bliss? LOL! That's like "fucking for virginity", to quote one of George Carlin's immortal quips. - What you should be doing instead is to embrace all of your tumulutuous desires and recognize them for what they are: The universes undying Love Song to itself, ever winding, warbling, modulating and resouding for all of Eternity. (The question if it makes sense to identify with your thoughts or act on your desires is a completely different matter, of course.)

Today was a low day. I went to work at the farm, but there was just a lot going on in my head and it kind of clouded the entire day. My parents really baby me, even at 24, and honestly I am complicit in the codependence. I feel weak, lazy, powerless etc and in turn my family accommodates me by giving me easy jobs at the family business. The entire complex is toxic, but I feel stuck and unmotivated to change, and my parents mean well and want me to be happy but they are kinda stuck in their ways and unless I make a change this pattern will continue. Even just walking up and down the rows picking weeds today I felt weak and powerless. I have this sense of hopelessness and sadness that is just in the background of experience for most of my time. One major source of the current depressive episode is regrets over dropping out of law school. When I dropped out I thought I was on the right path. I was feeling pretty good, I had the psychs, coaching etc and I thought reality would only serve to get better and better. I didn't expect to be this depressed again after making these big changes, but nevertheless i'm here. The regret is mainly one of self image and angst for the future. It's not that I really wanted to be a lawyer, or even really miss law school and want to go back. It's that right now i'm doing nothing, and i'm depressed. I have no career prospects and I just feel like a loser, so naturally I long for the days when at the very least I could say i'm in law school. I find myself kicking myself over not just writing the exams and giving myself more time like my family advised. It's a lot of regret, disappointment, shame. I made my bed and I have to lay in it, and all these "issues" with law school regert are simply negative thoughts that i'm focusing on the moment. No attention to them, no problem. This a clear example of how focusing on something negative in the NOW is where suffering is created. I'm aware of how these thoughts are the driver of part of my depression, but it doesn't prevent them from arising and it doesn't prevent the rumination. When I feel better and find some sort of relief or happiness from this suffering i'm confident that the thoughts of regret will simply pass through awareness without causing a stir, but right now they're being believed and I just have to live with it I guess. It's been humbling though going through this stage of shame and regret over how life is unfolding. I'm making an effort to kinder and more humble with my parents, I didn't expect to be home that long, but right now I don't know what i'm going to do, and any resentment or anger towards my parents just doesn't make sense and isn't serving me. No matter how much I want to look back and blame my childhood for how I ended up, at this point this my parent's have done above and beyond trying to help me get my life together, and i'm 100% responsible for how my fate turns out. I've been thinking a lot about how i'm going to proceed with my future. I still have faith that sessions with Ramaji and awakening in general will provide the solution to the suffering and sadness that pervades my life. My problems are all self created, in their reference to the ME that is living this life, and in the continuation of focusing on thinking and believing thoughts that don't feel good. I don't know how long or what it takes to awaken to the point where you can reside in effortless thought free states of well being, or be so in tune with thinking and focus, that the only thoughts that are focused on are thoughts of what deeply desire in life, and that feel good to focus on but those two facets would effectively wipe out all of my current, narcissist suffering. I've had thoughts of living in an ashram or monestary if all else fails. It's no doubt a form of escapism, to escape the shame/guilt/regret of not achieving the quality of life that i'd always hoped for in my typical life. But I have a lot of growing up to do as a person, and I don't know if living here in the west is the best path for me. I don't have any genuine desires, other than to find genuine happiness, and unlock a life of happiness, joy, magic, love etc. I don't know if it's destructive fantasy thinking, but I have had dreams, and direct experience, of life actually being fun and enjoyable. If I don't figure it out here, then I don't see a point in continuing the charade here. I'm drawn to run away from the world. Covid has been in many ways a blessing to my ego and the way i'm currently living. I don't want to do anything, and I don't really want to see anyone. At least with Covid the whole world is stuck in this predicament. But this won't last, and it's an incredible toxic mindset. To run and hide when things don't go your way is not the way to be, but at the same time many aspects of my life are not the way to be and i'm not sure what to do. And yet despite all this, when I look in the now... there is no problem. I don't have joy, bliss, or other high tier feelings but I can't say there is an issue. It's only when thoughts arise about future or past regrets, or thoughts about me and my life, that there is any sense of a problem. Wouldn't it be great if these kinds of thoughts just didn't arise, or if I just didn't buy into any of them. But right now I do so I guess in this quagmire i'll remain. By any metric I have a charmed life, in comparison to most of the world. And yet i'm not happy... I wonder if we're just fucked as a species. If the world were filled with people like me as I am at this point in life, we'd all be fucked.