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Just that you seem to have been meditating for only a few months (if I've understood it correctly), and you have had some deep experiences of emptiness which are frightening and blissful in turns. Integrating it as in having a context for the mystical awareness, to feel ok with being nothingness and having an identity for normal life purposes "I remember calling my girlfriend in a panic and asking her to please start an argument with me so that I could take a definitive stance and in so continue to live the lie that I was living." you've had a taste of bliss and emptiness and you are now working on integrating this with your regular relationships in life, which can carry on with a deeper love rather than fear and panic. You're doing nothing wrong. Although there's nothing to hold onto because there's no separate self to do the holding, and everything is in flux, yet life is infinitely creative and provides new patterns to flow with, even as the old ones dissolve away. Sorry if I sound a bit vague and woolly, are you looking for something more practical or a reassurance that all's well and you're on the right path?

@Jo96 You're exactly where your meant to be. You're shedding layers and layers of yourself which is what is leading you to bliss. What I would say as someonewho has meditated for a while, be aware of having a goal in meditation. You sound like you're mixing up self inquiry with meditation. When we meditate, we come home to who we really are. When we self inquire we explore who we really are. Good luck ?

Day 12 - x3 breathing, 8 minutes in the river. I stilled my mind to the point of completely letting go of the pain and actually felt warm. There were seconds that passed when I was so present I didn't know if i was dead or alive in the river it was complete bliss. I'm really getting into this now!

@Leo Gura According to your experience, do you think that the author of the book is right in his hypothesis about the purpose of God/Mind? ”These considerations point to a telos for the topology of the membrane: if the entire membrane could fold in on itself to form one single loop encompassing all of mind – a kind of cosmic sphere of mind – there would be no trade-off. Self-reflectiveness would be all-encompassing, in the sense that all vibrations of mind – all mental contents – would fall within the field of self-reflection. There would be no ‘unconscious.’ Moreover, there would be no illusion of separation either: this one loop of mind would identify itself with all good and all evil, all bliss and all suffering, all polarities and perspectives. The full nature of mind would unavoidably penetrate the field of its own self-reflective contemplation. Why doesn’t the membrane of mind simply use its freewill to form this single global loop at once? Why hasn’t it happened yet? Why all the struggles? The answer here is rather simple: for mind at large to know that it should shape itself as a single loop it would already have to have the global self-reflectiveness that only a single loop could provide.”

Yeah if you inquire 'whose feeling the pain?' and this sit is what You (not you) want to do, the suffering from the pain tends to dissolve, and the pain is what remains, along with bliss because you are doing what You want to do. In my experience, inquire why you want to sit for this long, and that will likely give you a good answer as to how to move forward. If sitting is really worth it for You, You Will get through the 2 hours. Otherwise, walking or taking breaks or even meditating while doing the dishes might be just as effective, and your idea that you must sit for 2 hours to get results is spiritual/new age social conditioning.

Yes, the entire conscious physical experience is the Ego. It is just an extension and a vehicle of consciousness from the psyche (your conscious "Self" in formless beyond the physical experience), which allows us to play with limited thoughts, ideas, imagination etc., in this physical dream reality we are participating. The "Physical conscious mind", being the whole of this reality itself as an individual and as a collective! The physical suffering, or bliss, is "within" the "Ego Physical Conscious Mind" that is created with the thoughts, ideas, imagination, beliefs., we focus our attention on! We are very similar in our perspective. Thanks for sharing Victor! ❤✌

“Facing the music”, no longer avoiding one’s emotions, is divine & ecstatic indeed, incredibly freeing & empowering. The pain body is not the source of this bliss, of this divinity, but the “veil” of it. The pain body is the emotions created in our misunderstandingS of self & reality. Love & understanding frees us of the pain body. There is a realization we reach, and that is how we have been identifying with the pain body. Meditation is like free falling into the ultimate fire of our source, of you, of unconditional love, all conditions are burned away. In this falling, in truly letting go - everything you do not want, everything that does not feel good, all which does not resonate with you, is burned away. Let it be Let it go. Watch out for the sneakery of thinking, attempts to ‘hold on’, to justify the feelings and thoughts that you don’t even want. Let them go! In returning to your true self, that which you never in truth, left - burn the boats. In the journey home, everything, every thought & every feeling which no longer serves you - which never did serve you - burn it. When a thought arises, tempting you back to that place which does not resonate in your being - light it afire. Visualize turning behind you as you’ve now returned to the shore of your all-loving & ever-loving self from your many journeys thus far, and lighting the boats a blaze. Smile, and watch them burn, feel the warmth. There is a psychological method in which a therapist develops trust with a patient, with the forethought and understanding that the patient will eventually explore the root experiences of stored emotions, of their pain body. Understanding arises in that the pain body was created in misunderstanding of past experiences. The idea on the therapists behalf, is that the patient will express these stored emotions, by basically venting them, or lashing out, onto the therapist, as if the therapist actually was the person in the original relationship, of which the patient created the emotions. Thus, freeing the patient of the hanging onto the pain body any longer. Understanding arises in the clarity, the clearing out, of the ‘old’ emotional blockages. The Emotional scale can be most useful in seeing this, and gaining understanding of the power of letting go & how it relates to the emotions we create & experience. The power of now (I don’t mean the book, but that which the message points to, - this, - now ) is as ‘real’ as it gets, and it’s quite shocking to become aware of the infinite levels of sneakery at play in thought, which appear to mask or veil the miracle of now. If, and only if, it resonates with you, that is, feels like “yes, this feels like the thing to do”...I would express all what you’re experiencing about her, if you go to see her again. Empty both barrels, so to speak. Don’t leave a drop of any of that which is not resonating within you. Don’t be concerned for her, it will only result in her feeling more of the bliss & ecstasy of being. That “something” might be a solid “clue” as to connecting what I said above. Something remaining, something identified with. Through ‘getting it out’ - expressing, understanding arises ‘behind it’ - fills in the space which was cleared in the expressing. (Reference the visual of the emotional scale, to see what’s being pointed to.) Also, I think you are at a much deeper place of acceptance, and Leo’s Authority video might be just the thing to shed the light. You might see that ultimately it doesn’t matter about the reiki lady. But again, if there is pain body to be released, and expression feels like the helpful thing to you, do that. You “win” ultimately in understanding, however you go about it.

Reincarnation is a thing imo. Past/last life karma determines what shitty/blessed life you'll get next time. But never mind that, did you know that you "consciousness" will not cut its tie to the physical body after clinical death? So in short you'll feel the physical and emotional pain of your body being cremated/slowly decaying in a coffin? This intense pain is a thing of life that we think modern technology made obsolete for most of us. All sources on these theories in my signature. That's how the soul/consciousness evolves spiritually (intense suffering after/during death), now it's the first time in history when we can choose to take breakthrough doses of psychedelics to avoid reincarnation and make the process of attaining bliss FASTER.

I'll leave this here too https://podcast.mindvalley.com/jamie-wheal-hustle-versus-flow/ Jamie Wheal and Steven Kotler are co-founders/authors of The Flow Genome Project/Stealing Fire. In this podcast, Jamie touches base on Quote "Why we Should all Be Like Surfers Hustling vs. Surrendering and Which is the Way to Success What Spiral Dynamics can Teach Us About our Thought Patterns What Microdosing on LSD can Teach Us (listen to this first!) The 3 Things Human’s Need for a Deep Stage Change State vs. Stage Changes and Which One We Should Focus On How High Waking State Delta can Give Us a Deeper Perspective of Personal Growth What Thinkitating is and How to Use it to Come up with Brilliant Ideas How we can Use Non-Ordinary States of Consciousness to Reshape the World Why the Vagus Nerve is Critical for Intellectual Growth The 5 Areas we Need to Optimize to Evolve as a Species The Bliss Molecule we Need to be Concentrating On Why we Need to build Ethical Cults Vishen’s Plan to Build an Earth Flag (and where! hint: it doesn’t reside on this planet) Why we Need a Psychedelic Renaissance (and the one book that can guide us) How the Seretonin System is Key for Humanity’s Liberation" There was a mention on nootropics and 5MeO as well.

Bud I'm honestly telling you, you have taken the I am God belief and stacked it on top of your egoic self agenda and have convinced yourself you are God. There isn't even a you to be God... I don't have any attachments so I don't know why you keep projecting that belief this direction... You also avoid any tough questions on your direct God realization experience... I'm sure you would just say something like it's Indescribable pure Bliss.. But this is just a non dual mystical experience... barely a glimpse it's not Enlightenment Awakening Liberation or anything of the sort. It's super noticeable also when your Paradigm gets rocked a little bit you start panicking... it's so funny to see... but I kind of feel bad for you also... I don't need my experience validated over and over again to satisfy some kind of egoic specialness requirement... I love you but seriously holy smokes dude you're stubborn as hell...

@Arzack - "Old souls" and "new souls" don't exist. A breakthough will teach you that. Hell, even science will teach you that. Remember "energy cannot be created nor destroyed" Fear can be a real bitch. I've faced it with doing MEO many many times. But guess what? On the other side of that fear is complete liberation and bliss. @Leo Gura has said (along the lines of) "you think its going to be hell then you do it and it's like landing on feathers" . A NIN song title comes to mind... "The only way out... Is through" Stop making excuses and either : -Face your fear directly - work on yourself with breakwork enough to eventually face your fear - continue with the same patterns, living the same life and make no progress once so ever.

No, you don't, not even close, you still play video games and waste your time, you still have many questions. You're not even 1% of the way there. Not trying to be mean, but this rabbit hole goes infinitely deep, not a couple of trips deep. There is nothing else to do. Read my post above about "nothing-to-do-ness". You don't just stop once you've "made it". God made this creation to explore itself, not to sit and bask in bliss.

State of no thought, just experiencing the entire body with with no uncomfortableness which is bliss. I don't know it's personal, maybe that's why there are a lot of explanation. I just have a sense of good feeling. Respect to Nihilism too! I always connected Nihilism to a low vibration state but I guess everything has a truth to it . But I misunderstood your post! Why fear freedom? Why do we not deserve freedom? Why aren't we worthy? Why is it barbaric?

No i can describe it to you outside the forum but it probably won't do it justice. I have said that it is Divine, frozen - in that it is outside time and space (time and space happen within Infinity) and a feeling of Bliss and Love as if you melted into Absolute Love. Because that is what it is. What you and i call death is actually a melting into Absolute Infinity or Love. And realizations into the nature of reality, your true nature, that the self is illusory, all can happen instantaneously. You should get a hold of some psychedelics with all of what you know now and trip.

Yes and to even say anything is going too far when it comes to the Absolute/Pure Formlessness... it just is..it just......... --- end all form and language now just pure bliss - not even pure bliss that is going too far ---- No teaching is the highest teaching because the highest teaching is the collapse of teaching. It is Being.

How I feel depends on the moment you ask.. sometimes peaceful, sometimes agitated, sometimes happy, sometimes worried; fulfilled and content or still searching for something, lonely or feeling bliss.. it's a constant roller-coaster. But that which I really Am does not change

I have been realizing the nature of God. A little background, I have been hardcore meditating and training with energy since I was 14 (on average 2-6 hrs a day). I am 21 now, things are starting to open up and unlock within my consciousness. i have experience with psychedelics and have been deepening my awakening lately. I have been feeling God lately, within myself and within everything. I will go into states of utter bliss and love randomly, usually when I meditate, but tears will come gushing out of my eyes, and I feel the undercurrent of reality swiftly catapulting throughout my whole existence and everything. I will have the biggest smile on my face, when I tap into it, and see "the eyes of god" everywhere, as if i was hallucinating on DMT or LSD. My theory (which is proven) is that my brain is now producing its own batches of N-N-DMT and 5 MeO-DMT, after many years of hardcore work and training. My pineal gland is where I feel my energy peak at, all of it is focused there, when I go into these states. I can't help but smile, cry, and laugh, all at once, looking at everything, knowing it is God, and that it is me. The blades of grass, the sunshine, the trees, all me, and all God. I have had "awakenings" in the past, but nothing like what is occurring now, this is next level stuff. I know I have to go deeper into these states, which I am achieving completely sober, solely through activating my own dormant DNA and genetic strands. I have only scratched the surface of this level of consciousness, but I have "hit the jackpot", so to speak, been mining for gold for so many years, but now, I have "hit", what I have been looking for all along. More updates coming soon, as I learn more...

Perfect clarity. "Losing"; "dropping away", becomes a Blissful experience. Continues until there's Nothing left to drop away. Bliss without knowing Non-Bliss. At each turn of the journey, it becomes more "Real".

Yes true. I have found that Leo's video on facets of awakening is pretty accurate as is all of his enlightenment videos from way back when he first started making them. So to me awakening to any of the facets mentioned there is a miracle. He mentions a lot there but here are some of the biggies in my view and ones i have had. But a mystical state to begin with is HUGE even if there are no realizations but just an experience of the Absolute! 1. A state of samadhi in which you become conscious that the self never existed but is being imagined. 2. Becoming Conscious by a state of Samadhi or mystical state in which you realize that you are pure Consciousness directly. 3. Becoming conscious of how all of reality works. 4. Becoming infinity and realizing what Infinity means Similar to 2 in a sense but different. 5. Becoming conscious that you are alone as the Absolute and dreaming all of this. That is the one he called aloneness. I call it Oneness but aloneness also fits. 6. Becoming conscious that Infinity or the Absolute is Love (for me all of my mystical states were just pure bliss and love) So to me to awaken to any of these is a miracle in itself. Yes here i look at these stages as highly advanced and not necessary for God realization. What i mean is you can have direct interaction with God - which is amazing in itself - and realize that oh shit - spirituality is real - and still not realize its you. But then you can also realize that you are God and not call it God at first - maybe you call it Awareness or Consciousness and you realize you are that. To me that's still God realization. it may take time to integrate these realizations as they are massive. Now to be directly conscious of how you are creating reality (how i am creating every hair on my hand for example) and total omniscience is something i have not become conscious of yet - but i am not currently practicing because if i were i would be trying 5-MeO and making it my life purpose as Leo is doing. All of my realizations which I listed above were through meditation and self inquiry. So yes guys this stuff is real...but where Leo is at is extremely advanced. And is not necessary for you to experience God and realize that you are God either of which would be considered miraculous in my book.

It's the desire to transcend suffering that's key, alchemy doesn't refer to turning base metal into gold but suffering into bliss. Enlightenment is that process. No suffering, no enlightenment. There has to be a transformation, there has to be something that actualizes itself for enlightenment to be at all. There's no higher and no lower, each serves the other in strange loop style. Nothing changed in the end, change transformation/no change at all. Duality collapses between self and other, actualization and stagnation.

Hi all, so yesterday I went on another Magical Mystery Tour with my dear friend Lucy -- and I am more than pleased to report that this time around I once again got treated to the whole five star menu including sweet desert and cheese platter (after a sort-of-underwhelming high dose trip three weeks ago that got me wondering if I might have developed a permanent tolerance against my favorite chemical)! Man, it is quite interesting to see how the quality of these trips is changing over time. It seems that after my super-rapturous ego death experience on 7g of mushrooms two months ago - which felt like a freaking supernova of bliss and love -, I am now able to enter a more sober state of self-transcendence than ever before that allows me to do a sort of level-headed inventory and look at myself from a rather objective outside perspective, almost like a doctor who is scrutinizing one of his patients with a stethoscope, all the while maintaining an attitude of "alright, let's just cut all of the mystical crap for a minute and really take a good look at what exactly is the matter with that strange fellow who claims to be me". Well, that is one side of it. On the other side however, it seems that my LSD trips now have more sexual overtones than ever before. Especially in the early stage of yesterday's trip, it was almost like my repressed and neglected sexual energy came bursting out of its closet, tapped me on the shoulder and said "Hey man, remember me? I am that masculine life force that is boiling inside of you, and I am here to tell you that you better take off the lid and let off the steam before the whole damn kettle blows up right in your face!" Very surprising & interesting. It felt kind of like an invitation to just let go of (the illusion of) control and let the body do what it is itching to do instead of constantly trying to browbeat it into shame and submission. Oh boy, it almost looks like I will have to start approaching girls again after this whole Coronavirus situation is over, lol! Can anyone else relate to that? I would be especially curious to hear if this kind of sexually charged trip experience is specifically a male thing or if some of our fellow female psychonauts on this forum have had similar stuff happening to them under the influence!

My theory is that what we call kundalini energy is translated/interpreted by the mind as sex energy, because it both is and it isn't. If God is Love, sex is the most intense expression of Love that most of us imagine, it's sort of where love and survival instincts merge yet are surrendered, are sex and love separate? My awakening had very confusing romantic undertones, felt like can't eat, can't sleep fallen in Love... bliss... but with everything, not one particular person yet no excluding particular people both dead or alive, real or fictional. Felt like a mix between Mary Magdalene, a Disney princess and this. Awakening is pround...ly ridiculous. My guess is that you're starting to translate the Love/ Union aspect of Gods by the subconscious. Just as dreams come up with ridiculous symbols to communicate to us, we ARE those ridiculous symbols. Don't blame your mom, deeply question all of that and all the beliefs and assumptions around it. You can't fix it if you don't take responsibility and you can't take responsibility if you're blaming her, either consciously or unconsciously.

It has been 6 days since my last mushroom trip (3g). No real powerful insight came during the trip (i don't remember much of it but I did have ego loss) but now I'm starting to get some real weird reactions. I have had some "awakening experiences" in the past but nothing like this. Context: I've been meditating for 1,5 year; I have a history of depression, anxiety, demotivation and nihilism. I have tripped on 1g mushrooms before(on December). On Sunday, after the trip ended I felt like I was born again. Everything was so beautiful. I looked around and my life seemed perfect, no problems whatsoever. The thing is: this feeling didn't go away. It's now so easy to be authentic and I'm so much more disciplined to do everything I always planned to do. I stared at a pillow on Thursday and it felt like total bliss. Even pain now isn't unpleasant. Anxiety and anger come up and I can just bear with it. Even past "negative emotions" are pleasant now. I used to suffer a lot to meditate and don't even think about doing strong determination sitting. Now it's just effortless. Actually, everything is effortless. Now, about the dying part. Everyday when I exercise those behaviors that I didn't use to practice I have a strange feeling of something dying inside of me. I used to repress anger so much that now when it comes up fully I feel like I am dying. I'm becoming so much more loving and assertive. I know this was possible but didn't believe it could happen with me. All the theory I have accumulated when watching to Actualized.org and reading books seem to be so easily applicable now. Why it was so hard before? Okay. Actually, I know the answer. I used to resist the present moment so much. When meditating I couldn't go futher than 30min without becoming super restless. I created a spiritual ego around the teachings I listened to on Youtube but didn't make them happen. I created my own depression and anxiety by resisting what was happening (now I understand the video "you're not happy because you don't want to be"). Even by not browsing social media I managed to waste a lot of time on my cellphone. I listened to a lot of theory and thought that I was growing when I was just procrastinating and wasting my time. I resisted working because it seemed boring, forgetting that I chose to do what I wanted to do and my vision for the future.How could I be so ignorant of all those things? Well... I chose to, but I wasn't aware that I did. Now it's the time to actually implement most of the fucking theory I half-assed through. I won't promise doing anything here because, you know, talk is cheap. I'm fucking grateful for life and existence with all it's shit and whatever thanks

The biggest use I got out of them personaly was having my perception of reality shatter, which made me interested in consiousness work. I do not ascribed any more value to them than that. I also do not believe that any psychedelic experience that I have had in the past had anything to do with how realization is or even feels like. They are not of the same quality, understanding, depth, etc. Also I do not believe that your perception deepens when on psychedelics in the sene that it does when realized. They are simply not the same thing. I am not saying that it is not possible to derive further value from psychedelics with regards to enlightenment, just that i have not been able to. I am not qualified to answer this question. You should ask a psychiatrist. Same as how you recongize your desires for anything else really. The stronger you yearn for liberation, the more of your hours it will consume daily. I should say that I believe desire is a HUGE factor in success with realization. I remeber desiring enlightenment so much that I would dream about it. I would dream that I am liberated and I would feel extreme bliss, like electric fire burning my body but somehow it felt great. Eventually it started bleeding over to the waking state. People usually advise you to pursue your materialistic desires first before pursuing enlightenment, so you know they can never satisfy you. That way your desire for liberation grows significantly. Look inside yourself and see what you really want. If it's money and fame and sex, then I don't think you should be seeking enlightenment before you achieve those things.

Haha a bit of a broad question no? Yes defintely. Yes I have a very active Kundalini in the process of merging with the Sahasrar. Kundalini by itself can grant self-realization. In my case i got realized before complete dissolution of Kundalini. It's doing its work. Yes. Bliss is constant and unbroken. It is also stable and not sposmadic and crippling like how it was initially. There really is no such thing as turyia. Ramana used it as substitute for the enlightened state as opposed to awake, dreaming and sleeping states. The distinctions are all arbitrary. Consioussness is unbroken no matter the mind's state.