Search the Community

@Member you are not awake brother. You haven’t realize the truth. I can even see from your talking style. Formlessness can be exist without a form, but form can not be exist without formlessness. Such as, every salmon is fish, however salmon can not be exist without being fish, however in order to be fish you dont need to be specifically salmon. Everything is pure consciousness (nothingness). If it doesn’t exist, nothing can be exist. Ask leo, you guys trust him but at the same time whatever you want to call it you can name it, because whatever name you put it, it comes from nothingness or pure consciousness. So whatever you do you cant run away. Nothing can be nothing and at the same time infinite. Nothing is the core.

@gswva fear is not a force either. If you never felt fear, you can never know feel of love, thats why they complete each other. God is so simple, thats why it is just a being, thats why it’s nothing, which is formless and awareness itself. Truth is only state of being, which is nothing. Thats it. Thats what i have been trying to explain. Infinite nothingness, which is full complete being. Thats why all is one, all is it. The truth.

@Member you are everywhere because you are nothing. @Inliytened1 infinite is nothingness. If you are not nothing, you cant be anything. Every form based on formlessness or nothingness. I still feel love, compassion or happiness a lot more however they are all beautiful illusions However, experience helped me to feel more love and compassion. Thats the beautiful part. However in actuality, nothing is happening. Ask anyone you want. If you are completely god. There is no emotion or thoughts there. Just you. When the dream disappears, only left is infinite nothingness. Thats why everyone is enlightened, because all is based on nothing and existed by nothing. If it is no nothing, it can not take any forms. Thats the reason why all is perfect because all is coming from nothingness.

@Member where is your mind? Where are you? If you dont know the word of god, who is god? If you dont know the word of enlightenment, what is enlightenment? These are all matrix, words, which is an illusion. how do you know thats a cat? Lol. Words are created by humans. Cant you see. God, cat, you, me has no differences. It is all nothingness. Helping, what is helping, it is just action, action is just a word created within nothing.

Because you're God sustaining this body and the whole universe depends on you. Nothingness and everythingness are the same, the only difference is in your mind.

This is life bro because you're living right now. You only assume there is Death or nothingness. Matrix wants to make you believe that there are things outside of you and you have no power over your life. The only limit is set by your own Mind. At least, right now this makes sense to me & I used to believe in nothingness too because of ego death but I woke up to become everything, not nothing. Death is BS.

Being infinite nothingness. Infinite and nothing. Infinite formlessness. Close your eyes, cut all your emotions, feelings and attachments. You will see.

Brother, i dont want to call it god. You call it god, because you learned that higher source of human is god. This is still matrix. God is nothing. And being completely god is infinite nothingness. Hot-cold, good-bad, right-wrong, belief-disbelief and god-human these are matrix. I am nothing. When I thought, i was human at that time i could be god. But god, human, love, feelings vs these are within matrix. But truth is matrix is created by nothingness. Matrix has never even existed. This is not life, it is full nothing.

Nothingness and everythingness are the same thing, just the same as life and death are. The only distinction is in your mind.

What is pure Nothingness?

You never become completely god brother. There is not even a blink happening there, all is infinite nothingness. You become infinite nothingness and awareness. There is nothing except you. Thats pure awareness just aware as nothing, nowhere thats the reason why it is everywhere and everything. Anything is formed on nothing. Close your eyes, look at everywhere. Thats what it is. Just cut the emotions, feelings and thoughts. Excuse my language, but you are infinite nothingness as a fucking king. Nothing is there except you. You are fullll nothingness. Love is nothing. You are full complete nothingness.

@Member i don’t believe in anything anymore brother even love, these are all distinctions. The answer is direct awareness or nothingness. No more than that. Rest is emotion, thought or attachment. Because if yoo never realize yourself Love never occurs, but you are still aware in any situation as nothing. When you become completely god, you are completely nothing. There is nothing except you, there is no place for love or being love. Just you.

@Inliytened1 not faith. I am thats it. When stuff turns out to be thought, you can consider as a faith. This situation makes me think, thats why i get confused, thats why it is not real. Awareness is nothing, but if you can name awareness, you can consider as love, because love is purpose of duality. I dont know why, I usually experience nothingness or the moment I don’t want to give any name, because it creates thinking even love. Thats why it has no name, it is the way that it is. If experience of love comes it comes.

Pure Being = Pure or Absolute infinity = Pure or Absolute Love = Pure Absolute Nothingness Pure Nothingness is everything in a formless state or state of pure potential. Right now you are a particular form or thing. Your substrate is nothing but you are a piece of it. So you are nothing and something hehe. Once you become directly conscious that you are nothing and everthing, so shall you become it. You will be Pure Being. Your form will die though. Pure Being feels like Total Bliss or Total Love.

"The only thing that creates value meaning purpose is the 'sense of self'.. and it's an illusion" Haha I agree in one sense. But to only take this perspective shows that you still got a long way to go:-) It's not the full truth. There is inherent Love built into the very fabric of existence itself. That you can't grasp this is something that makes me feel sorry for you. How can something that is not real, was never real -- i.e. not there in the first place -- create meaning and purpose??? Easy enough: it can't, cos it doesn't exist. There are more layers to Reality than your narrow and shallow nihilistic nothingness-awakening.

It may seem obvious to some of you, and it took a long time for me to truely grasp this, but I just came to the realization last night that everything that I have ever learned in my life can be deconstructed to Zero or Infinity, Nothing or Everything, Meaningless or Meaningful, Formlessness or Formed, God or The Devil. And ultimately, they are the same thing. Consciousness. The blank canvas of Nothingness that all distinctions (Everythingness) are made. All branches of knowledge points to this when you break it down to what is actual, and not ideas about something. There is a "consensus" out there to what the Truth is. It's just that no one wants to take that last step of saying "WE" are "IT" too. All Mathematics breaks down at zero and infinity All Science breaks down at Nothing or Everything, begininnings and endings, infinitely small or infinitely large, everywhere and nowhere. All of Philosophy points to this. Nietzsche, Descarte, Derrida, Heidegger, Kant. All their theories broke down when they deconstructed far enough. Religion, Psychology, Laws, Politics, Art, etc etc etc. It all breaks down. All of it is assigning meaning to the meaningless, making distinctions in something that's distinctionless. I used to think of it as only the Ego being false. But the Ego is ALL the distinctions we make in Reality. The Limits we place in the Limitless!

@VeganAwake Nice post. Yes, they can only assist in awakening. Nothing more. Of course they can also do harm. Have respect for these powerful tools, man. There is already a psychedelic that can disrupt the normal functioning of mind inside everyone's brains. Serotonin What is before the thinking mind... The opposite What is there besides the thought of what is there... The opposite The first opposite is nothingness, the second is Awareness. Thinking Mind = Nothingness Thoughts = Awareness Non-duality 101.

In my opinion psychedelics are a visionary trance state They are an additive state like rituals involving repetitive music and dancing , it has a physical dimension a sensory/perceptive stimulus. In this case a chemical stimulus The chemical has a physical effect on the brain which triggers a mental state (this is not to diminish the value of the experience) it's an additive state and that can be additive with sound (drums etc) and body movements, sensory trance inducers But it is antithetical to some forms of mediation (not all) which are a very reductive. removing stimulation to approach stillness, nothingness, focusing on one point , or observing our distracting thoughts in removed way in order to not become attached to them and let them pass. These forms of meditation are clearly not a visionary trance state although that occasionally may be experienced. there are additive states and subtractive states.

@JayG84 A lot of spiritual masters define enlightenment as being aware of reality/Truth. This reality that you're saying you are aware of, can you see/perceive it? Can you understand it? Are you that reality that you say you intuitively know? Or is reality "out there" and apart from you? If you know that everything is one and you are this oneness, are your attitudes and actions in alignment with this type of knowing? Do you feel light and loving toward all forms? I guess trying to answer these questions will shine some light on it for your and also to see if you are enlightened. I imagine that enlightenment can "happen" without knowing that you are. I recall Eckhart Tolle saying that for years he was just silent, so silent that he didn't recognise that he was silent. Like he had no thought to arise a thought of "oh.. wow.. I have no thoughts". There was just nothing. Emptiness. To address your questions directly: 1. But do you actually see the "substance" of consciousness when you awaken? There are many different stages to awakening (in my experience). It's like things are slowly revealed to you. Doors open and doors close. Sometimes we get a glimpse of something which will uncover a discovery that will slightly shift our understanding and other times we get the full-blown experience, which causes us to change immediately. Some experiences are so powerful that the old way of thinking (or thinking at all) stops. And there is just a silence. Tears can come and so can laughter, for no apparent reason at all. Personally, I am a little stuck on the "substance of consciousness" thing. The only thing I have experienced it to be is "infinity". Infinity beyond the concept of infinity. A good way to tell if you are experiencing reality or have an "awakening" experience is that it will be completely different to what you have learned or imagined. But, when you try to explain what it is (as you're having the awakening experience or moment of "seeing"), you will be saying the same thing you said when you thought you knew what it was, but it will be completely different. This is why you cannot "learn" enlightenment or reality. 2. Is this close to what they call Enlightenment? Enlightenment is an "event" or experience which can be quite profound. It's not a thought or something that you create through imagination. I believe that the reason why people sometimes call it a "non-event" is because it does not occur in time. You know that you as the truth that you are has always been and you just imagined that you were something else. You may even be able to confirm that you have never suffered in life. Not that you will no longer suffer, but that you have never suffered, and you were only imagining your suffering. Also, you may feel as though you know everything. It is like all of life's mysteries just expose themselves to you and you don't need to read anything. Like you do not need to learn it. Many "positivity" quotes that you know take on a whole know meaning. You see how some "positivity" quotes are BS and some are very profound and could have only come from an enlightened person or from someone who at least was enlightened for a period of time. It's almost like everything clicks into place intellectually. 3. Is there a definite "barrier" that you cross when you "Awaken"? Personally, I have experienced many barriers or moments of reaching the "door" or "gate" and being too scared to continue through. It is almost like you are literally fearful of your life and you feel that you will die. One of my most crazy experiences was where I have an intense awakening experience and I was dropped into nothingness. At first I was like "mad, I'm here, I did it" (very identified and spiritually un-woke thing to say at that time because when I said "I" I literally meant me as an ego "did it"). It was a silence beyond silence and an emptiness beyond emptiness. Then a few seconds into it, I sensed something arise, almost like a thought or something maybe even an emotion or energy crept up behind me and then I realised "Could I be this emptiness?" and I thought "If I'm this emptiness then anything could happen". Like I could be dropped into an everlasting pit of sorrow and torture (for literally, ever, and never to escape). I don't recall if I did or not, but I could've let out a shriek of fear and it would have pierced through utter bliss (which was what I experienced first). Later I assessed the whole experience and tried to see where I went wrong because I thought I had "broke through". I later realised that I had a lot of ego identification in that moment and a lot of fear and confusion and I identified with it. I felt like "me", "getting" enlightened - obtaining it like a lost treasure that was for me and for me only. 4. Do you go anywhere? Like waking up from the Matrix or something? From my experiences you stay where you are. It seems as though things come to you rather than you go to things. 5. Does it "Look" different? Or is Enlightenment just the knowledge of Being that brings you peace? Imagine seeing everything you look at the same way that you look at someone who you are deeply in love with, even if it's a sliced-up zucchini or something. You can literally see so much beauty that you can be brought to tears of joy. Every woman and every man look beautiful and you love them. I've had a few experiences like this and it wasn't a thought. You do not "sustain" the beauty that you see by thinking about it in a loving way. it is already amazing and beautiful before you had an opinion. 6. Or is Enlightenment just the knowledge of Being that brings you peace? Enlightenment is not knowledge, but knowledge can come from it. The peace should be there before the knowledge. 7. Is the intuitive knowledge that you are ONE and that the self is an illusion good enough? If you have to ask, "is this good enough?" then it's not good enough. This tells me that you are still looking for something other than what you already are. If this helped let me know. I apologise if my responses are a bit all over the place. I feel that I am still exposing delusions and learning about the reality that I am. I feel confident enough to guide you as I have been where you have been. Consciousness and enlightenment is a funny thing because you could have an enlightenment experience today and you could potentially surpass levels of consciousness that I have experienced. You could then come into the full understanding of life and reality and I would be there in a heartbeat taking advantage of that by asking you some of my burning questions about it lol. Peace dude Lenny

Mooji is great, i think one of the most direct teachers around in that if you follow some of his steps he can actually lead you into nothingness

Who got that recognition? :-) Who saw it for what it was? What do you mean by 'here'? And what/who experienced this regathering of the ego? :-) Oh, so it was dropped like it was hot? By who? Who dropped it ? -------------------------------------------------- @VeganAwake-------------------------------------------------- To keep this discussion really simple, if you do not fully agree with this: Nothingness = Everything = Love = God = Ego = Consciousness , then I can safely say you're still lost. In either way, if you do actually agree, then we have nothing to discuss. Also if you disagree, there's no point either in continuing this "discussion" between I and myself. And it's perfectly fine to have an other recognition, experience or belief here... no judgement at all. <3 -------------------------------------------------- @VeganAwake-------------------------------------------------- I know you don't actually judge me. But still: Do you judge me for writing so much here about love and peace? Making <3's all the time? If your state of consciousness/enlightenment does not grasp/understand that Reality is in fact All About Love, then sure, you may still be somewhat awakened/enlightened/liberated, but it's pretty incomplete in the humble opinion of no one :-) Much love <3

"there isn't anyone here to hold on to any concepts or beliefs... " Okay, this is gonna be fun, so why not. To use the nisargadatta-quote, my "problem" (not that I have any real problems in life since my awakening) with veganawake is that he is indeed too far on the "everything is nothing" on the <"I'm Nothing" <--> "I'm Everything">-scale. The scale is of course a dualistic concept, and nothing and everything is absolutely one and the same thing. But anyway, it's quote obvious to me -- I'd like to believe, I may be wrong -- that veganwake's mind is not really in full non-dual mode It's somewhat stuck in the "nihilistic nothingness/everything is perfect as it is/nothing matters/nothing exist"-way-of-thinking. Of course this way of thinking is true enough. There's nothing wrong with saying these things. The problem arises if you cling to these ideas and hold them as the whole truth. The whole truth is: "paradox, non-dual, infinite, every-perspective-is-equal". As I have said multiple times but which veganawake somehow does not seem to fully grasp is that everything that we can say with words and sentences can never-ever be fully true. And you can take any statement and flip it on its head and this opposite statement will be equally as true as the original statement. When we communicate and say things, we always say it to someone, either to ourselves or to another. What I say on this forum depends mostly on what I think most readers are identified with. For example, if most readers are lost in the dream and does not grasp that their ego and everything is fantasy and that they are Divine, then I'll say things that'll make them try to understand this. However, let's say most readers are fanatics who are clinging to the nihilistic belief that they don't exist and that nothing matters and that they truly are God and that they can do as they damn please, then I might write something like: "Everything matters. The Now is eternal and infinite. It's all that matters and it contains everything. You do exist. Yes as God. But you don't understand what God is. God has nothing to do with your personal beliefs and ideas. You may very well believe that you can do as you damn please, sure, but it's a belief, notice that. You do exist, and Reality is Real in the Realest sense. Yes, It's a dream, but it's your fucking draem. You decided to dream it up. Do you think that it was a mistake? No it wasn't. This dream of yours is intelligent and planned out. Make no mistake, fool". Anyway to conclude this pointless rant, I'll take some things VeganAwake have said and use his own logic against him. Just to make him see how lost he is. (I've been stuck in his way of thinking for a long time by the way. So did Leo. It's only recently, like the past 1-2 years that Leo has incoporated the Love-aspect into his teachings). "And the belief that there is a higher perspective as opposed to lower perspective is still caught in the dream and is still duality " Your sincere belief that there is no higher perspective as opposed to lower perspective shows that you're still caugtht in the fantasy-land of duality. I could say that there are indeed higher perspectives compared to lower perspectives, and it would be just as true as what you said. See, I don't disagree with you, only with your rigid mind. "And that's just fine because it's what's happening it's whole complete and perfect but for No One." It's complete and perfect for God as well, you could say. Your "sincere belief of nothingness" is just that: a belief. "there isn't anyone here to hold on to any concepts or beliefs... " Your belief that there isn't anyone here to hold on to any concepts or beliefs is just that: a belief. I could say that there indeed is someone here that is capable of holding on to beliefs and concepts, namely You (God, I'm talking to you my friend), and it would be just as true as your original statement. "It's already perfect it's already whole it's already complete it's already Paradise it's already the kingdom of heaven" It's not already whole. It's not already complete. We got a lot of work to do. The kingdom of heaven is certainly not here on Earth yet. Have you seen what's happening in US? How many children every day that die due to hunger in Africa? To say it's already paradise is ... well, of course true enough, if you look at it from one level of magnification, hehe, but not from another level of magnification:-) No level of magnification is more true than any other. We can zoom infinitely far out and infinitely far in, and it's always that: a perspective, always only half-truth. As I said, of course, from my level of magnification it's sort of already whole and perfect and Paradise itself is certainly right in front of my eyes in everything I look at. That's how I feel. I see the Beautiful Garden all around me. Do you? <3 Much love to everyone here. <3 Sorry for being harsh and arrogant, I can't help my self. <3 This isn't even something I'm writing. It's Flow.

REFLECTIONS ON MY RELAPSE As I mentioned in the previous post, I had a relapse in my depression. It was fucking scary. I hadn't felt that way since last year. It's hell on Earth. No worldly problem can be compared with it. You just feel... hollow... and hopeless. It's as if I am the worst person in the world. All the vitality and joy were simply gone... Fortunately, I identified the possible cause: lack of good sleep. I had stopped taking quetiapine (sleep-inducing med). But after that episode, I told my psychiatrist that I'll be using this med for longer. I don't fucking care. In a way, this episode put some of my worries into perspective. I could clearly see how fucking stupid my "worldly" problems are. Again, nothing can be compared with mental illness. For example, my cat has died recently. It was really sad, and I'm still processing what happened. Yet, I want to feel the sadness and grief. It's a sign that I am alive. Now with depression... bleh... it's just nothingness. And the weirdest thing is that for a long time in my life I had gotten used to feeling that way, and I believed it was part of my personality or something. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Depression is an illness. And unfortunately, many people still doubt that it is actually a thing. I can speak from personal experience. It is like the difference between having the flu vs. not having the flu. The contrast is crystal-clear. But anyway, that episode lasted for 3 days. I'm glad that I have identified the trigger. (Apart from that, I am reading the book 21 Lesson for the 21st Century. Damn... it's blowing my mind, lol.)

Section 01. Introduction 1. Introduction 2-5-2020 01:54 2. How To Go Through This Program This is experimental, not theoretical. You have to go through it. It is a journey. · From scarcity to abundance · Let the exp take over · It is about inner exp Requirements for this program: 1. Awareness: see things different and global understanding 2. Proof: experimental part, inner exp is key, now you apply it 3. Permanence: how to make the change stay and explore your subconscious Two separate parts of this program · Guided morning and evening routine approach · Outer approach Section 02. Awareness 01. Get To The Cause · Paradigms(assumptions) are lenses/maps; how you see the world o You see the world as you are conditioned, not how it is o You are not aware of it · Main two paradigms is abundance/scarcity (think back to glasses/maps metaphor) o Your assumption is scarcity (not being enough, self-hate and stress) o You are not in the one or the other, this paradigm is a spectrum o Read 7 habits of highly effective people o Your paradigm determines what you see. It determines your reality. o And what you do and what you think enforces certain paradigms o Paradigms don't exist: internal models determine external model 02. Scarcity vs Abundance · It is not what you are doing, but where it comes from · You can do same thing but paradigm change makes the difference o Scarcity(reacting): from desperation, compulsion, from fear(working against yourself) o Abundance(generating): from inspiration, authentic (just happens because!) · Read power versus force o Effort is not a virtue o Less effort the more powerful it is o Effort takes energy out of you o It doesn't mean you do less: there is just less stress o Just let go/unleash ( remember: it is the place it is coming from) · This is source of addiction: o Desperation: you do something to run away from something (what are you running from? Let go from what you are running from) o Inspiration: why are you do something? You welcome everything, not resisting anything, no suffering o When you remove desperation you get inspiration o It is about the intention that should be good, not the urge. Urging anything won't get you anything. o You aren't the character in the game, you are the person who is playing the game. Enjoy the game. 03. The Goal 2-5-2020 13:52 · The goal = Oneness = abundance o there is nothing you can do to deserve it o it can't depend on anything o You have to start with abundance, it can't be learnt, it is assumed o It is a state, it is not in the game, it is before it · Don't wait until you get things in your life before accepting abundance o You can't have the good without the bad, be aware of that = enjoy the thing, don't depend on it · Abundance is about nonduality · Read the Kabalian 04. The Journey · This is journey of removing, not adding o Remove false paradigm of scarcity o It is not about knowledge o Learn by letting go, not holding onto o It is a state o Let go of all emotions: positive and bad · Having > doing > being · You have to be it, not do it · It is a default · It is pre-verbal / non-conceptual · Happiness is opposite of not being happy, let go of that cycle, go into nonduality 05. My Story · Julien escaped life of drinking, day dreaming, sleeping · Don't be stuck and fall into the same trap 1. Step 1: optimize to gain situational confidence a. But you are still acting within the old paradigm where you are stuck b. Optimizing your situation eliminates your excuses c. When you optimize you run away from something to something else d. Misery is your first teacher, dropping it is your second teacher 2. Step 2: drop paradigm a. You have to be ok with nothing, give up everything, come to this point of desperation b. When you are one step away from despair you are one step away from enlightenment c. There are different tools to optimize your life and eventually drop it d. You know you are ready for dropping when you have a state of relief after you dropped it 06. Commit To Abundance · If you don't feel resistance when you are improving yourself, you are doing something wrong o If you drop everything, inspiration is something that is natural, it comes natural o It should feel like a personal attack o It should feel like weight training · You will feel into nothingness and from there you will be "everythingness" = ego death o Be honest: everything you did didn't work o Be sick of it o Be authentic with yourself. How long you want to chase ghosts? How many disappointments you want to take? o Nothing you will get will make you happy; realize this (if you keep it up it will make the graving alive and you will keep stick in your paradigm) o Escapism is greatest problem of this world · There has to be willingness to commit to abundance o When you change the internal, the external will manifest o You can still enjoy the same things but it will come from a different place; you experience it like for the first time; you can finally enjoy life Section 03. Proof 01. How to Let Go · Letting go of false scarcity (and everything is built upon it, and reinforcing it) is the goal · Concentration exercises is good but it doesn't get to the cause. Julian is more about mindfulness(focus on what you are running from) · Recommendation: Pranic healing/breathing. David Hawking. Eckhart Tolle. · You have to experience abundance. That is only way to get it. · You can't figure it out or think of letting go. Detach from your mind/thoughts/emotions · Three steps: a. be aware b. Allow yourself to exp c. Let it come up 02. Step 1 - Be Aware Of What You Want To Let Go Off · Step 1: become aware/mindful · Focus on sensations. Don't focus on thoughts/emotions for this work. o When you focus on thoughts, that thought will lead to another thought and make that pattern in your mind stronger. o If you keep doing what you rae doing it will go on forever until you die · Sensations: tightness, tingling, breath o It is the data in your body, that your brain interprets and converts to thoughts/emotions o Sensations can be located it in your body, emotions can't o If you let go of sensations you can't let go of the associated thoughts/emotions o Learn body awareness 03. Step 2 - Allow Yourself To Experience It Fully · Step 2: allow yourself, accept it fully, don't get rid of it, experience it, don't make sense, don't validate, just feel it, don't suppress it, accept it, be with it unconditionally, don't change it, be with them, don't abandon them · It will change by itself by experience it · Don't do things to change your sensations: they mature by giving attention 04. Step 3 - Let It Come Up And Let It Out · Step 3: let them run their course and reach their natural end · They will disappear in nothingness, they will leave on their own, they want to leave but you are stopping them · Bring awareness to them with techniques · Relief will come which is a good sign 05. Guided Release · Pranic breathing is the method · There shouldn't be external distractions · Back straight, to stay alart · Place hands on lap, facing down · Just feel, don't resist experience them fully, stay with them, sink in with them, let them take over, tell them you are with them and be 1. Be aware of what you want to let go, feel into your body right now, visualize inner chatter, 2. Focus on root/basic chakra which is your base of your spine 3. Breath in from nose for 6 seconds, hold for 3, breath out for 6 out of mouth (maske ssssh sound and letting those sensations go Section 04. Permanence 01. The Subconscious Mind 03/05/2020 14:17 · Letting go gives you proof but it is still in your subconscious, if you want it permanent you need to dig and let it go subconscious · Conscious is on the surface which is 10%, subconscious is under the water which is 90% o If you are conscious of everything you wouldn't be able to survive o Things that are learnt will be stored in your subconscious o Something that can't be faced will be taken over by your subconscious: trauma's, grudges, wounds, beliefs and assumption o Subconsciousness is active if you want it or not o It is on repeat; the longer it is active the more momentum it has · Subconscious is in charge o Get to the cause o Be present o Let go of the assumption of scarcity o Let go off the subconscious shit o Whatever your resist, persists o Whatever you don't use, you lose o You won't do anything harmful to yourself consciousness, you do it unconsciousness o Be aware that subconscious will pull you back. It is stronger than the conscious. o You can't bullshit your subconsciousness: don't tweak the effects, tweak the cause o Subconscious is our friend, not our enemy, although now it is the other way around 02. Social Conditioning · There are acceptable things and unacceptable things by our society: unquestionable dogmas are the walls · There are first and second hand experience o Most of our info and what you accept as truth is second hand experience; info from other people · How certain they are · How aligned they are with it · How many people believe it · Then you accept it as valid although it isn't o Example of second hand exp forms your map of the world: · scarcity · You are not popular · Relationships are painful · Worst punishment: withdrawal of love o It formed you o Your parents didn't know better; don't blame yourself or your parents o You suppressed certain parts because of this; you don't have a memory of this · Birth of Ego: everything that is acceptable, and everything that is nonacceptable (self-hate for example) o You are the meanest people for yourself: you are abandoning your subconscious self, you don't know yourself fully, you kill self-trust because some parts are against you, repelling people because you are a fuckup, when you get it you will lose it 03. Pandora's Box · What is in your subconscious? o Unacceptable thoughts/emotions/traits/trauma's o Not all aspects are bad; they are just labelled that way o Example: being judged for hard laughter, being abandoned, being rejected/shocked/not being loved o You shouldn't laugh less than every two weeks o You won't remember trauma's most of the time; main theme repression · It can manifest into people pleasing, avoiding stuff, being afraid 04. The Process · Don't try to fix it (which means not accepting), accept it by not resisting so they don't get stuck o Accepting doesn't equal approving = validate it that it is there o Don't compensate by inflating ego by trying to get success o Understand your psyche as a whole; create an oneness o Going through it instead of repress it/deny it; head on approach · It is about dissolving the ego, not working on your ego. This how you create abundance/core-confidence · It is a click; being comfortable in your skin · Your default should be deserving 05. Opening Pandora's Box · It won't be pleasant but you are on the right path with trauma release o Let it take over; surrender to it; it will feel like death (ego death) o It is matter of where you invest in. Do you want to surrender/transcend or resist? · Let go of sensations: time * reps until sensations are gone o Things will go bad before it goes good; one step backwards, two steps forward o Trauma is there because you resisted it so experience it and let go of it o Feel whatever is; develop a taste for pain; let the ego melt · Put it into perspective; most stuff is not bad as it seemed · Law attraction angle: whatever is running in the background you attract o Take out momentum out of it o Bring awareness to it, don't think about it 06. Identifying The Subconscious · Step one is becoming aware of the trauma's so how do you become aware of trauma's? · There is no general list because it is different for everybody · Methods: a. Think back of your childhood: what were acceptable and what were unacceptable? What were family values? The repressed are the walls of the castle. b. Think back of returning patterns: What are your returning patterns in your life? There is no coincidences. Accept the suppressed otherwise you recreate situation until you self-accepted. You will be forced until you find a resolution. The scale of the situation might be the same but the underlying thing will be the same. i. The cause is the first traumatic experience (the media scandal is the effect of the original trauma for example) ii. Be aware how you recreate parental relationships in your life: what are you drawn to? And what do you avoid? Remove the cause c. Think back of when you are triggered: when did you react disproportional? It has to do with pain bodies (Eckhart Tolle). Examples of sensations: anger, fear, guilt, shame, rage, drama, addictive behaviour. It is signal of suppression. d. Think back of what you escape from: when did you escape something? Dive into the sensation. Examples of escapism: masturbation to escape, socializing, eating sleeping surf the web, putting up a front e. Think back of fear. When were you afraid? Get to the root. Let go of the resistance. Break the cycle. Examples: fear of being abandoned, FOMO, not being in control, not being accepted. · Follow the reaction to the source: cultivate awareness in the moment, catch it, take perspective and let it go o Take the momentum out of the reaction o It is not what triggered, it is what being stirred up, what is suppressed inside you? See the structure instead of the content o Breath into those sensations o Purposely trigger yourself o It is better to face it right now because with time the trauma will get worse 07. How To Let Go Of The Subconscious Mind · How to let it go which is step 3. Recap: Be aware of what you let to, dive into the sensations in your body (don't get stuck in the story in head head), follow it to the source, think back of the first time you felt this sensation. Repeat the question "when was the first time?" until you get to it. · Method o Don't force the process. Dissolve the resistance by relaxing your body and your mind. o Shame, fear and guilt should be the first pillars to remove before diving deeper into yourself. o Be aware of cues of your mind. There is no wrong path but don't think, just feel through it. It is about de-sensation. o Set and setting is important; verbalize safety to yourself o Ground yourself: base of your feet are roots going into the ground o Use pranic breathing o Accept and validate the sensation; fully and unconditionally o Be patient and invite the sensations to leave 08. Guided Subconscious Release · Place yourself in a safe environment without distraction. Let your subconscious know. · Put your spine straight and your palms on your legs · Visualize chatter box in your mind, change the location to the spine and moving down, lock the position · Operate from the base of your spine · Do 3 cycles of pranic breathing(first round): close your eyes, breath in for 6 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, release for 6 seconds, hold for 3, breath normal, repeat · Operate from the base of your spine but now also to the ground: visualize roots from your foot going deep in the earth, grounding you · Repeat 3 cycles of pranic breathing(second round): breath to the roots, breath in/out strengthen the grounded connection. Breath out with a "ssssh" sound to let the sensations out. · Feel the grounded connection afterwards · You are out of your head and in your body: breath into it o become aware of the sensations, let things come up if it wants to come up (distractions, fears or triggers). Let them take over. o Follow it to the source. Ask yourself what was the previous time I felt like this? Accept it fully and unconditionally o Now ask when was the first time you experienced this sensation. Let it come up. Put your awareness on it. Let go of resistence. o Stay with the sensations and let it come up. Don't label them. Don't try to understand. Surrender to it. Validate and accept it. Breath to it. Be with it. · Do another 3 cycles of pranic breathing(third round): letting go o Let it come up and let it go. Invite them to come up and let them run their natural course. Remind yourself that they want to leave but you are resisting it. o Experience the relief, embrace the experience of the new self. · Do the fourth round of pranic breathing: do it and come back, and afterwards put awareness of your surrounding 05. Conclusion 22. Conclusion · Now you know what letting go is (awareness), how to let go (proof), how to dig up, accept and reown in your subconcious (permanence), but how long does this take? How long before you get self-actualized? It is the wrong question. Leave the paradigm of succeeding. You are already there. It is in the now. · There is nothing to reach. Don't see it as a goal. You will never reach it. Give up by trying to reach it and you will be there. That is the journey. Let go of trying to get somewhere. · Even if you get there you will be afraid of losing it. Don't be too serious about it. It is not about perfectionism. Enjoy the moment. It is presence. · How much are you smiling? That is the indictator of success. It is not a sprint. It is a marathon. · Do it for the sake of doing it. Rediscover yourself. Be curious. · Let go the destination

This is the report of my last trip with LSD on May 22th of 2020. It was a very intense, somehow "bad tripping" experience and it has taken me some more effort than the normal to process all I went through. Here are some of the most interesting aspects, I how you enjoy reading it! Medicine: 175 ug of 1p-LSD Intention - What is God? - What is a Miracle? - What is my purpose in this life? - What is Telepathy? How does it works? The Trip I made some Kriya Yoga for an hour and at the end I took the medicine around 9:00 am. I started to feel the effects around 40 minutes after taking the medicine. I was sitting in the kitchen, as I was drinking some ginger tea I had a powerful mystical experience. The whole day was raining, however the room suddenly was very radiant full of light, I started to get very strong visual effects and as I was looking at both of my hands the illusion of self, of being apart from everything just dropped. Everything was pure white light around me, I could not see anything else. I was as if I had imploded, I became pure radiating Love. It was so miraculous being so present everywhere and anywhere, Absolute Infinity. Everything made perfect sense during that moment, as I realized that the present moment was everything that ever was, that ever will be and that ever is, that I AM. I cried because of this realization, that God is Infinite Creativity, Infinite Love, its Everything and its ME. No words make justice to describe the indescribable. As I started to feel the effects of the medicine getting stronger, I went to the room to lie down on the bed. And then it hit me like a train at full speed. It was as if I got connected to a stream and I started to get all kind of epiphanies and realizations, as if somebody was talking direct to me. At one moment it said: "Call me however you want to call me, God, Father, Consciousness, you know who I am, you have always known who I AM." It was as if I got connected to a second order level of consciousness where everything made perfect sense, I could see what I have done in past lives, what I was meant to do during this life and what I would do in future lives. It was more like remembering who I am and remembering all this stuff. At one moment I saw as I where a huge energy tree and that with every "trip" I am sort of building some sort of bridge between the dimension of reality I am used to and other new dimensions I am getting to know. And that somehow this was something very important I had to do during this lifetime. I could not tell the difference between having the eyes open or closed, between imagining something or the reality as I am used to be. This, together with the connection with the stream of messages with the Higher Consciousness started to freak me out. I started to think that I was really losing, but I also got scared because I would not know the difference if I was imagining jumping out of the window or doing it for real. And as I was tripping alone (even though this was not the first time) I just could not calm myself down. It was as something was wrong, or something could go really wrong if I just let go, and my ego was resisting very hard. As I could get lost in a Strange Loop and become crazy mad. I did everything I know to try to calm me down, but realizing that everything is a dream, an illusion was something that my ego was not being able to accept very easy as I experiencing during the trip. So I called a friend, just to get the illusion of being in control and doing something I am used to do, and to get the illusion of other. We talked for 20/30 minutes and I managed to calm down. I was moving in the room as I was talking but I could not feel the body. I was seeing like a bubble of consciousness moving with me, but outside of this bubble everything was just nothing, pure Nothingness. The most interesting thing however, is that as we where talking on the phone, I realized like on a meta-level that I was creating the whole thing in real-time, the illusion of me being in panic, the illusion of other (this friend), the mobile phones and telecommunication systems, the room, the floor, every fucking thing I AM! After this call I could calm down a little and continue tripping, I also realized that I had barely hit the two hour mark and that I had a long hard trip before me. As I could not completely let go of the illusion of fear, I lied on the floor, and tried to remain in an open position. I had all kind of crazy visions, like seeing at my hands and having like twenty fingers on each one. I realized how I project my shadow on external things, and how until that moment I was always "thinking" that something external is the source of this shadow. It was as if I could turn around and see me completely as I am, with all the fears and things that I can not accept about myself. Later after seven or perhaps eight hours of experiencing madness the ego started to reassembly more and I ate something and went for a walk in the forest. This helped me start recounting the trip and release all a lot of energy. Finally, on the evening night I was able to sit down very peacefully and in total surrender, for two hours or so. Conclusions In retrospective, I see that my ego was generating all of this fear and resistance and that: I should probably had to go deeper into this madness. However, I just could not do it during that moment, it felt so hard to let go. And this is fine, something you are able to push through but sometimes it is better to hold on. This only gives me the courage to keep on doing this work. It also allowed me to accept me more as I am, to be more genuine with myself and with what I really want to be. I already had some glimpses to realize that everything is a dream, but this is by far the most direct experience I have had into the Truth. It is possible to communicate with God, in fact we are always doing this because we are all One and we are all God. It is true that every awakening is always the greatest awakening, because we are always expanding more and more, forever infinitely. Being able to realize the Truth is not always the sweetest of thing you will experience, but it is every moment of pain and craziness worth it! As always thanks to the great community of Actualized.org and @Leo Gura for his great teachings and amazing content! Thanks for reading and for the comments!