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@Leo Gura haha you are so mean! I’ve explored psychedelics a lot (thanks to you) and can say ayahuasca is very special and unlike any other substance (yes including 5meo) I joined a Brazilian church called UDV where they do sessions twice per month, they make the brew in the Amazon and in Hawaii, they also have a license to function in US so the set and setting are flawless and I don’t always throw up, it’s mostly when the ego gets in the way, if you surrender you will experience bliss and unconditional love, it’s also VERY healing on the level of the body, I feel like the other psychedelics are very powerful on the mind, but on the body level there is nothing like ayahuasca. I’m not trying to convince you or anything but I’ve explore psychedelics for 4 years and found what I was looking for in ayahuasca, I still do others but every ayahuasca session I have that feeling of “home”ness that no other psychedelic gives me and I feel like heals my body a lot. Yet I should not put ayahuasca on a pedestal, I have not been able to breakthrough with 5meo so still exploring.

I started choking on my breakfast this morning, food went down the wrong pipe. My dog got up from sleeping, disturbed and worried about me. My son with mild autism, brought his video game up to me to show me something as I'm coughing and running to get water, completely oblivious to the fact that I wasn't at all receptive right then. My daughter is his polar opposite, very emotional and connected with others. Yesterday was her first bus ride and she forgot her backpack. She is such a brave, confident, outgoing kid. But the terror in her face when I mentioned it was so strong it hit me hard. I immediately told her I'd call the school and it was completely ok. My son wouldn't have given a care in the world. He IS an incredibly loving, sweet caring boy, but just not in the same way she is. And I have through my inherent unconditional love for my kids realized that all our brains are just wired to focus on different things differently, through no fault of our own. I had a few weird realizations or something today. My son was asking me a bunch of questions, and we often talk about "secrets of the universe" and I've talked about manifestation and Jesus and Dr.P with him. Today we had a conversation where I was trying to get him to transcend stage green, he noticed oil in the river and we talked about how it got there and his response was to want God to kill people who don't care about the environment. I explained that love is so total, you're free not to love. Then later he asked about some poem about "big things have small beginnings" and the big bang. Then all these sort of profound but obvious connections were made about a lot of things I've been contemplating lately. Then while running I thought about my "personal relationship" with the devil in the past. And I realized that I imagined him as the very thing that would cause me to suffer. But it was so real and terrifying, I could never have deduced this, that the whole storyline was fed to me, apparently by others and several adults who were supposed to care about me more than anyone else, and I seemingly felt it and believed it hook, line and sinker. They could live with it but I could not. "Promise your soul to the devil" said my mind. "A mental illness I have", I said. I knew as a teenager I couldn't continue my spirituality without dropping the idea of others going to hell, so I did. Then when I did realize that I created the devil, instead of suffering I instead experienced the most intense prolonged experience of bliss I could never have imagined. Not in fact, suffering. So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. ... Well here I am. You fed me a story and I ate it all up. Cleaned the plate off too. What's for dessert?

Its not beautiful, its not ugly, its not bliss, its not suffering, its not a strange loop. Nothing can define it

Indeed it is. What is beaitiful is that reality has absolutely no ground because it is One and thus Infinite. It cannot reference itself because anything it could try to reference itself with is actually itself. And because it cannot reference itself - it just IS itself. See Leo's video "Reality is a Strange Loop". But to actually become directly conscious of this is to remove the illusory references to nothing we are making now and to actually BE it. Pure Being. And that my friend - well that is Divine bliss.

@Leo Gura Hilarious, right? I got the same reaction when I told Trump supporters that Trump is a fascist. Ignorance is bliss. You're laughing as the propaganda machine by MSNBC and TYT brainwashes you and confirms your bias and Trump Derrangement Syndrome. Fox News for liberals like yourself.

This means that the soul is will find what it seeks.. The soul will seek both in life and the afterlife and in the reincarnated life as well. The soul is a seeker. It will carve out its path depending on what it seeks. It will seek a path of greed if the soul seeks greed, thus in life and the afterlife and in all the lives, the soul will continue to seek greed in different ways. It will seek a place in life that will help the soul to amass what the soul is greedy about and it will seek this in the afterlife where it will be utterly restless since such materialistic pursuits and the aids to such pursuits is not found in heaven or the spirit place or the afterlife. Thus this sin of greed has caused the soul to suffer even in heaven where the soul or spirit should have found and enjoyed peace. But peace is not the karma of such a soul. This soul will then find a place in the reincarnated life where such greed will be fulfilled. So it will be born in a place which is steeped in stage orange greed and thus fulfill its greedy desires in their life in that place. But this won't bring any joy or peace to this soul. The soul will once again suffer restlessness in heaven or afterlife once their life is over or death has occurred. This form of karma, is eternal damnation and this is the real hell of the soul. Because this is the lake of fire. The soul will always keep burning in eternal sin because that's what it is always seeking. This is eternal damnation of the soul. The soul is damned to an eternity of temptation to sin and seeking the sin forever and suffering the after effects of this sin. Since sin does not bring any good and only creates chaos and suffering, the soul will continue to exist in chaos and suffering created from its sins and this is how the soul has been committed to lifetimes of chaos and suffering. This is like burning. This is like fire. Thus the hell can be represented by a fire. Hell is not a place. It's a state of things. A state in which the soul remains as long as it continues its sinful path. A state created by the soul seeking sins. A state of restlessness and lack of peace. A state of chaos and suffering resulting from bad karma. This is like burning in fire. This is the real hell that the soul brought to itself through its karma and sins. Now it will always seek this sinful path both in heaven or the afterlife and material or physical lives. And it will continue to weave its own hell. It will be delivered and saved from this hell only when it realizes that sin is a sin and stops seeking it and returns to a spiritual life or spiritual path and then it will weave a spiritual place or state where the soul can rest in peace. Thus if it starts burning the karma and begjns to do good acts, it will rectify the buildup of Karma and start creating a new path of spiritual gifts like joy, love, peace, happiness, brotherhood, wisdom and these are opposite of sins. This new path will create a state of fulfillment and peace and the soul will start going away from toxicity and begin to cope healthily and seek more peace or begin to feel peaceful, it's almost like recovering from a disease and returning to good health in which the body stops showing signs of pain or distress and begins to cope and become peaceful and Orderly. Now the soul instantly experiences a state of bliss and peace away from all the materialistic bullshit as if it has been instantly cured of all the bad things and set free. This feeling or state of peace is very powerful and it stays and it begins to gradually heal the soul of all the remaining distress as the soul continues to seek the spiritual path. Now this soul is a peace loving and peace seeking soul. This soul has gotten freedom from sins and lifetimes of sinning (future lifetimes as well as past buildup of bad karma) and future temptations to sin. In a way this soul has been freed and saved from future burden of chaos and suffering. It has been saved and spared further pain. This peaceful soul will now continue to seek peace even in the afterlife or heaven where it will rest peacefully in the pillows of heaven. In the Garden of Pillows or the Garden of Reeds. Thus the soul's old journey is complete and a new journey of eternal bliss has begun. This soul is the enchanted one. It is the happy one. The joyous one. The elegant one. The pleasant one. This pleasant elegant soul will always seek peace and joy and love and continue to weave its heaven throughout eternity of lives and afterlives (eternal cycles of reincarnations and afterlives) Meanwhile the agitated, unpleasant, restless, and discordant sinful sin loving materialistic soul continues to weave its private hell of chaos and restlessness and dissatisfaction.

Legalization and decriminalization are distinct. It sounds like you are making an argument for decriminalization more than legalization. I’m curious of the limits of your view. . . If there was a substance that gave the user 20min. of bliss, yet also caused the user to lose self control and kill people, would you say as a society we should allow that substance to be sold, bought and used? To me, it seem to boil down to a libertarian argument. That is helpful, yet the reality is that it would be insufficient due to the current conscious level of society. Harm is not restricted to the individual - certain substances like meth expand beyond the user and causes societal harm. A substance can be made illegal to market, sell and use - yet a user would not be charged as a criminal. They would be sent to a program to help them with their problems and addiction. The idea is that making the drug illegal, without criminality, would help reduce harm caused to society.

@SonataAllegro So sorry to hear. Indeed you are tapping into that this place is eternal bliss, though the eyes & ears can tell a different story, and a bit of a tug of war between the mind and heart can be experienced. This can throw thought, perception & sensation for a loop, feeling that push & pull within, trying to make sense. But the real of us all is love, transcendent of the relative appearances. In thinking of the very best of any of us who have played our part and returned home, thought is aligned with the heart, the heart is easing & embracing of thought, truth & love are one, and loss can not be. The mind may listen to the eyes & ears, but the heart says here I am, with you now, eternally. We never leave, we never really come & go, we’re never truly apart in love.

There is Trickery in that 1) In regretting your imply that you can control your life, the circumstances of your life - and that is simply not true (From a normal Ego perspective at least) - You do not control The circumstances of your life. 2) You might say "no but I do control my reactions. and in that time I decided to act in a stupid and not do the course, and I regret today - In that case, you do not realize that you are in a process of development. It means that you had to act in the "stupid way" that you did so now you can grow from this. that's the only way to grow! In order to choose now to do the course, you had to choose to not do it in the past. Imagine if you again opted to not do it now and only in 10 years realize that you should do it. You can be grateful that you do it now 3) When you are talking about the past, you don't really talk about the past - you talk about the present. What do you gain from Regretting? what "Hidden" benefit do you have from it? Maybe it's hard for you to accept certain parts of yourself? the "lazy part" or any other part of you that made you not take the course in the past perhaps? 4) The Root: We assume that everything comes from our childhood. We can ask the question - what a child needs to experience so that when she is an adult she will experience Regrets? we can look at regrets as a form of violence towards oneself. The violence that was inflicted on her, that she learnt and she keeps inflicting towards herself. Is it criticism for her parents? do the regrets represent in you the voice of your parents that were criticizing towards you? and maybe you feel guilty still of what you were criticized? If it is so, It's important to go to the Root Memories and release the blame - telling the child: "you are not guilty", "you were doing what you could", "you couldn't do anything differently", "you did what you could and that's OK". 5) It's about the journey, Not the destination. It doesn't really matter when you start, because all you really have is this moment. and if at this moment you follow your bliss, you pursue your purpose, you progress In your life, you're in flow - you are satisfied and happy, aren't you? and It doesn't necessarily get better than that.

It's a fair question, i can only speak on the benefits of awakening or awakening experiences with psychedelics and inquiry. One thing is the free will thing. We are anxious,afraid angry and frustrated because we think we control "fate". However you are just witnessing this life,it's all predetermined,god's will. Most spiritual teacher say this there is no "doer" only the illusion of one. The good side of this is you stop the blame game.Anxiety,etc. You realize you never had control,forgive yourself and even find peace with most situations. That's a positive. What else hmm.. More compassion for "others" realizing they are also you. More kindness and love and understanding,knowing people don't have free will the blaming stops. Instead you enjoy the variety of people in front of you. Now for full blown enlightment idk positives. People describe a state of eternal bliss etc,but i'm not sure that exists. Thats also an illusion. I have had the experience of "the void" and it's where consciousnes actually is. You become nothing in nothing. Or in other words formless awareness aware of itself(sounds weird,experience is weirder.) This happened EXACTLY after an illusory bliss experience,bliss is just an idea as well never forget this. So overall i would say it has it's uses, but ending all desires,rebirths and just remaining in oblivion seems pointless to me personally. I would rather live a rollercoaster life,but each to our own. Possible negatives: alienation, no one understands you,try to share your experiences you sound crazy to others,also now you know a deep secret,that if you continue to pursue can make you mad. It's why i quit i had probably over 20 trips Started having hallucinations,vivid dreams in which i melt into waves and other things.Glad that hell is behind me it was like PTSD

Pretty much what Leo said. You say it's a downgrade from the point of view of the ego mind because you have preferences between unity bliss and identity constrain doom God however doesn't . So it's 'happy' to live the life your ego is 'creating' right now, doesn't matter if that entails 'suffering'

@meow_meow Also dude, bear in mind that Sadhguru is a speaker for normies. Therefore it's in his motive to value heavily his listeners egoic comfort. Uncovering the shadow has always been a part of this process, but since Sadhguru is marketing this product where spirituality=bliss, he only sells you one side of the story.

So awareness & feeling do not come and go. Thought, comes and goes. Now we are in the light of awareness, so to speak. Now let’s look at this for more relief...patience & humility still being the key.... Awareness of “living”, that distinction, requires the ability to compare “living” to “not living”. Awareness is not aware of “not living”, or of “living”. Awareness is aware of the thoughts - ‘living’, and ‘not living’. That is what is meant by duality. This or that, this and that. Again, awareness is aware of the thoughts - “this”, “that”, “living”, “not living”. “What if” implies a future scenario. But that what if, is nothing to be concerned about. That what if, is not possible. There can not, and will not come a day, where a realization occurs that are, or are not, “living”, or “not living”. This is self evident, as you are aware, right now, of the thoughts - “living” or “not living”. There is, in your direct experience, no awareness of living or not living, only of the thoughts - “living”, “not living”. Philosophically speaking, to mistake my thought about something, for the actuality, is not really ‘living’ this life at all. To realize what is being shared here, is to realize one does not need to believe thoughts. Once the dualistic nature of thoughts is realized, it actually becomes challenging to continue to believes them - especially when they don’t feel good. Thoughts have always appeared & disappeared, and thoughts will continue to appear & disappear. What appears and disappears - is magic, and unexplainable. Explanation, is really, just more thoughts. The concern “what if I’m not really living”, is revealed to not be a concern at all. You felt concern, you expressed & inquired, because something didn’t feel quite right about the thought. Believing the thoughts, is the matrix, the prison of the mind, and indeed does not feel quite right. Concern was felt... ‘what if I’m not living’ was a thought. What didn’t feel quite right was the thought about yourself - not the content. You are beyond, transcendent of, thought. This is self evident, as again, “you” is a thought, the real you - is the awareness of that thought. And you, awareness, do not come and go. What does not come and go, does not really live and die. “Live” & “die”, are thoughts, eternal awareness is aware of. These thoughts come and go, appear and disappear. In the matrix / prison of the mind, the believing of the thoughts... “nothing matters” is indeed concerning. But ‘nothing, or better said, ‘no thing’, is awareness. “Nothing matters” can be taken as a thought, and the feeling response is ‘not good’, if you will. The feeling is responding to the misunderstanding. What is misunderstood, is that ‘nothing matters’, in the way you’re interpreting it, is just a thought. As in, “then life won’t matter, life would be pointless & meaningless - because nothing in life would matter”. That is what does not feel good. The misunderstanding is what does not feel good. So what to do about misunderstanding, which does not feel good? Understanding, of course. Which feels wonderful & liberating. And you are in luck when it comes to misunderstanding & understanding, as other people have already figured reality out. For you, there is only to choose to spend some time on it, to understand and realize. Nonduality teachers, gurus, presenters, whatever you’d like to call them, understand & have realized, what quantum physicists have proved over a hundred years ago. ‘No thing’, awareness... in quantum mechanics jargon, you might call “superposition” - that which is infinite emptiness & fullness, infinite potential, formless & limitless - Awareness - and therefore can appear as anything. ‘It’ does this, this appearing, by vibrating. This is referred to as M theory, or string theory. This vibrating can only be referred to in theory, because no thing vibrates and appears as the very thoughts, and therefore the very theories....about....that which appears as all ‘things’ by vibrating. You can experience much liberation, many great feeling epiphanies, in understanding these things, just by spending time on YouTube. Patience & humility are key. As great as it feels - even understanding reaches it’s natural ceiling, because understanding is essentially, thought. It’s still appearance, but it is the understanding that thought, and therefore understanding - is appearance. By the time this ceiling of understanding is reached, so much misunderstanding has been seen through and shedded, that you are mostly out of the matrix. Then, if interested, there is the ‘going and seeing for yourself’, so to speak. Experiencing that which is prior to experience itself. That which is prior to thought & understanding. That which is prior to the vibration of itself, prior to it’s appearance. This is the matrix. Reactionary living. You are becoming aware of this. You are ‘waking up’. This is good. You are realizing why people let go, listen to feeling, meditate, do yoga, express how they feel, seek more understanding, take psychedelics, go on retreats, etc. You might say that all of these are doing more about the situation of misunderstanding, than just thinking and settling for thoughts that don’t feel good. This is thinking, and thinking won’t be resolved by more thinking. Instead, recognize the limit, the futility of thinking. Tomatoes are chosen or not, because of feeling, sensation. Not thoughts. If you think you love tomatoes because of how they look, but they taste terrible, you won’t eat them. Taste buds change. Every thing is really vibration, which appears to be a ‘thing’. To ‘move on’ from thinking...abide in feeling. This means if a thought doesn’t feel good to you, you will swiftly and effortlessly let it go. In truth, thought appears and disappears already anyways. So it is so effortless in fact, that you don’t even have to let it go. Without your continued focus - it’s gone. Magic. And another thought appears. A better feeling, more insightful thought. There is no limit or bottom to this good feelingness. It takes time, there is momentum, there is letting go of thoughts of misunderstanding....but there is orgasmic thoughts. Imagine sitting quietly, and genuinely preferring not to have sex, because it would actually feel slightly less amazing, than the peace, bliss, and appearing thoughts. You don’t hate Jim Newman. You just want to let all misunderstanding go, to be in the state he is in. Patience. Humility. Listen more to what he is saying. Listen less to any thoughts of judgement of him. Tastes change. You might profoundly love him one day. That might be just such a blissful thought. If the separation of others doesn’t exist - then only ‘connection’ exists. For example, I am a dad, and I have a son. There is connection between us, there is a bond if you will, between us. See what that connection is, see what that bond is made of, prior to, and beyond, just the appearance.

Insight over the last few days about what karma actually means: Physical suffering doesn't come from the pain and discomfort of the present moment (such as picking up an extremely heavy object and holding it, or having a cold shower, or getting kicked in the balls). It comes from resisting the present moment (resisting the pain and discomfort) if you don't resist you don't go through suffering. End of story. Why do you resist? Because you have shadows, and shadow work to do. You feel guilty about something you did, you don't feel right about your future direction in life. You feel like you made a wrong choice somewhere. You worry over something (like your mum dying) etc etc. These shadows are the exact opposite of surrender. They are 'clinging on' ness. Your guilt from not correcting the cashier when he gave you an extra 5 dollar note, while doesn't seem like much, is actually very deeply preventing you to surrender your ego, let it go and drown and just dissolve in infinite love. In your daily life, you might be going fine, but there might be this slight sense of I ness. Or this sense of suffering, or this sense of limitation or this sense that "there's something more". And it doesn't seem like a shadow. It just seems like some sort of limitation. But when you inquire deeper, you realise this mere sense is actually a shadow. You inquire more and unseemingly out pops that not correcting the cashier of that 5 dollar note that you did a decade ago, that you haven't let go of yet. That was what that sense was, yet it seems so different to that on the surface. If you had a life purpose that was true to you (instead of what your parents, society colleagues told you to have) if you never did anything to anyone that would make you feel guilty if you always said what you honestly believed you should have said if you always made those decisions that felt right, rather than the decisions that were exciting or titillating(for example, choosing to save money for a house instead of buying a fancy computer that doesn't provide very essential value to you) if you always thought about how to give, rather than how to get if you always chose to believe in yourself at the cost of losing financial, social or economic security if you always chose to stand up for what was right at the cost of losing financial, social or economic security if you always treated others how you truly feel they should have been treated, rather than what your anger, hatred, judgement, friends, family, society said how you should treat them if you were always honest with Yourself if you always sincerely loved Yourself Then, you'd have no ego. If you followed all of the above, then when someone physically kicks you in the balls, you'd have no suffering. Because the kicking in the balls prompts pain. Pain that makes you think you're gonna loose something. You're gonna loose your beautiful state that you're in now, and enter some hell hole state, or possibly die. Possibly disappear, possibly go to hell. That's really why being kicked in the balls hurts. Its all about being worried about loosing something, and being worried about a truth, that you don't like, being revealed. It has almost nothing to do with the pain itself. Its all about what that pain could possibly mean in the future (note NOT what that pain means now, its always a hypothetical, future state that causes the suffering, what things may turn into, not how things are now). And note the thing you're losing is that sense of "grasping" or "holding onto something". It feels super important. But thats a trick. On the outside it looks like a heart, something which keeps the universe together, but on the inside, its shadow. Its guilt, or shame or whatever else. The kicking in the balls, prompts guilt, sadness, depression, wrongness, concern, regret, shame, embarrassment, again all these emotions that the kicking in the balls prompts has nothing to do with kicking in the balls, its got to do with the shadows it reveals. Kicking in the balls prompts that guilt from the cashier. And the pain is coming from that guilt, not from being kicked in the balls. This is how karma works. All those little things where you're living life not to how you KNOW deep down you should be living life to, but living life in-authentically to yourself, all that stuff gets tucked away, and comes back to bite you when the possibility of loosing your sense of self, or some state you're comfortable with, arises. Like getting kicked in the balls. Indirectly, if you had not done that guilty act with the cashier, and told him/her that she gave you the wrong change, that would boost your pickup results, and increase your happiness and reduce your suffering during getting kicked in the balls. Because where is all that fear of pickup coming from? Its coming from the cashier guilt incident, shame, not feeling like you're expressing yourself enough, etc. Its incongruence with your authentic self and your authentic actions. And your incongruence seems so small at times. Like stepping on an ant. Oh boy, if you think your fear of pickup is not coming from the guilt of stepping on that 1 ant back 5 years ago... then you're kidding yourself. Start living congruently with your authentic self. Be extremely strict about it. Don't let yourself feel guilty, shameful, embarrassed about anything. Don't step on that ant, correct that cashier, wave and say hello to that down syndrome kid when he walks up to you and tries to communicate with you, be loving to that poor person on the street, don't let anger or dogma make you hurt others, even if they are in the wrong. Don't blame others for mistakes you made and don't judge others when you don't know the full picture of their lives. Just don't do any of it because all that stuff will make you suffer more when its time to grow, when its time to die, when its Gods time to change. And it prevents you from letting go... which is ultimately the point of life. Useful Download About Work Each person has unique and extremely revolutionary discoveries/inventions/ways to impact the world. These revolutions are covered by social conditioning, indoctrination and dogmas, low EQ, low IQ, lack of consciousness, fear, shadows, traumas, lack of moral development, etc. To fully get in touch with your discoveries and inventions that you are to share with the world, you must do shadow work, consciousness work, explore other perspectives, have diverse experiences, shed ego, indoctrination and dogmas, etc. You must also contemplate, put attention on, love your passion, curiosity and child like nature. This passion isn't necessarily tied to any particular medium (like mathematics, or music or software code) but could be tied to anything. The point is to put attention and focus on it, engage with it, contemplate it, get more in touch with it. It feels good the more you do it. It feels blissful and sometimes loving. Follow your bliss and love. By product of the above, you deepen and get more in touch with your unique, True Self, which is ripe with creative potential, and has unique insights, tendencies, ways of looking at things which are beautiful. When looking at problems or any sort of phenomena, your deepened state instantly sees that problem in a unique way, and therefore develops a unique solution/perspective that expresses extreme bliss, love and joy. But without the ability to express that joy, you cannot share it. So you must also learn how your mediums that you express your unique perspective work, how the entities(probably people) you want to transmit this unique perspective to work, how they understand the world, what they accept, what they reject, what makes sense to them, what they want and don't want, etc. And then you must use this mastery over mediums to express your unique perspective on the world as effectively as possible. You ultimate career goal: Get paid loads of money to express your best, authentic Self and unique worldview through mediums that you enjoy working with. Your unique medium is mathematics, technical writing and illustration, and software engineering. You also specialise in medical devices specifically, but can of course branch out to other areas. You also specialise in intelligent agents (artifical intelligence and making things smart) but again can branch out into other areas from that passion. The more you spend your career time on those mediums, the better your life will be. From this perspective, value = sharing your unique worldview/Self/Way of understanding the world + through mastery of a particular theme/field (being artifical intelligence/agents, mathematics, software, technical illustration and writing). Goals: 1) increase your career mediums by the above. Because the more you do your mediums, the more joy you will have because you're doing only what you love. 2) master your mediums to make expressing your unique worldviews extremely effective. 3) do consciousness and shadow work, explore other perspectives, follow your curiosity, shed ego and dogmas, increase your child like mind to deepen how in touch you are with your unique perspective, worldview and Self.

@Marianitozz I think in theory it's possible to transcend human needs, but since we happen to inhabit a body, there are some needs that require another person. Not saying that you can't deeply connect with yourself, but deeply connecting with another person gives you a whole set of different and important experiences. Of course no experience will ever satisfy you completely, because it's impermanent. But that doesn't mean it's bad or that you shouldn't pursue these experiences. It means that it's important not to forget that you won't find permanent bliss in any of them. So why not look for a partner if that is what you want now?

For the good of the world and all sentient beings, I do sincerely wish that you are enlightened. The positive vibes can help a lot of beings. But, respectfully asking, isn't boredom and craving of attention, a sign of the ego and its need for sensation ! Shouldn't you be just content with the bliss and peace you must be feeling ?

@susanyzm I don't look upon my purpose as something fixed. It's fluid, changing, and morphing as I change. I prefer what Campbell says - Follow your bliss. Regardless of your situation now you can follow your bliss for a short amount of time daily. And through this, you will learn more about what you will learn more about your interests and you will develop. Don't over-complicate this process.

You're right, it's not inhumane but I feel that there is a somewhat perverse approach to non-duality that is a misinterpretation (at least through the eyes of beings that are living in duality and are prone to suffering). I feel resonant with this because I used to be somewhat brainwashed into this way of thinking... and it just results in egoic cycles (egoic in this sense as a sense of self importance or knowing, rather than a softer, open and compassionate world view). What wisdom is it to bypass acknowledgement of suffering because we are all part of the same source? It makes sense, sure, but we are all in this game together, all at different levels, and the way some of these non-dual approaches come across seem to take the vibe of 'just snap out of it'. Just to add to what you've said... myself I can experience very painful emotions very blissfully, if I so choose to. It is occasionally offensive and horrifying to my ego but it is possible, and the deeper or more intense the pain, the more bliss and pleasure arises from the experience. This being said... I do not wish to continue on in a regular state of pain just because this is the almighty plan. I believe there is an end to this pain once the experience has been had in totality. If this is bullshit please let me know so I can end it sooner (lol). But yeah... on the 'lowering our consciousness to hurt each other'. Sure... this is what I'm talking about and is something that seems to be missed by some (ie that war is just love because we are all one source etc). It's a view, but not one that seems to be of service to all. Whilst it is technically true, I don't believe that it is a true representation of a consciously evolved society, which sounds like what you're saying anyway. Overall I am just trying to touch on this potentially distorted view of non-duality that some seem to have. This view differs greatly from say that of Saiva Tantra (which is a beautifully rich philosophy).

I feel like you want a quick fix like right now. But life's an experiment, as Leo has emphasized it over and over again. Everyone is a unique puzzle. "Follow your bliss" is the right way. But there's no "fixed bliss" or "the best route to that bliss". Leo's videos, Life Purpose Course, coaching, I tried them all. Not a single one has solved my problems. I felt really frustrated at one point. Like what you said "I'm just not good at life." I felt the same thing. But on looking back, each of these tryings gave me a small nudge to my bliss. For this I'm very grateful. Even God doesn't know everything. God has created these opposing perspectives to know itself. So, confusion is part of the journey. We may suffer from it. But God enjoys it all. This perspective always gives me relief when I feel lost and anxious. Hope you can find some enjoyment in trying out different things even though they do not turn out to be your bliss.

DISCLAIMER: I had no intention initially of writing this trip report, but I just had to because of how interesting it was, and for personal documentation reasons too. This post is admittedly crazy, outlandish, bizarre and just plain weird. And I don't want this to start a non duality war. I also don't want this post to invoke judgement on the 'electrobeam' physical avatar (it will happen anyway by God's design (how else is duality possible ) , but I'm just pointing out my intention is not to troll or invoke such a response). I fully appreciate and embrace anyone who believes I'm deluded, crazy, zen devil, etc. I love you all and embrace all opinions that may come of this. I almost know nearly no one will resonate with what I'm about to write here. Maybe one or 2 yogis out in the jungle somewhere. But this post might strike a chord in 1 or 2 of you. Who knows and lets see. Why I wrote this Trip Report During the trip, I wasn't that surprised or valued this trip with any importance. In a weird way, everything that was happening was just normal. After coming down though and reflecting on it again, I just went "hold on, that was actually insanely crazy" I started to feel the significance of what just happened. I felt absolutely no significance, no surprise, at all during the trip. Absolutely no reason to feel alarmed. I even talked to people around me completely normally, and talked to them genuinely with what I was becoming conscious of as if its a normal talking point with people. But afterwards I went "what in the hell was that???". And I regretted sounding like an unusual guy to my flatmate. I was extremely shocked. This humbled me on the come down. And here I am, recording it. Also I dont claim to be enlightened(far far far from it), but I will use enlightenment terms to help with explanation. Intention for the trip So I awoke to infinite love some time ago, and after that I saw the universe completely differently. I basically realized that all suffering, evilness, etc was actually designed to give me a massive loving awakening. It was all done out of love. Just imagine your mum said "sorry I can only give you 20 bucks for your 21st birthday" and then you chastise her, attack her, then on your birthday she said "just joking! I actually gave you a million dollars!" And you find out later that she gave you that million through working 90 hours a week. Can you see how lowering your expectations by saying she can only give you a little, is actually better than if she said "i will give you a million dollars on your 21st birthday"? By lowering your expectations, when you actually get the gift, its a massive gift. Well thats why god invented world war 2, trump, etc. Because he's lowering your expectations so that when you do realize infinite love, you get extremely excited. That's why there's so much self deception, it all increases your surprise. And people on here asking "why is there torture, rape, etc" is like the child chastising her mum saying "why do you only give me 50 bucks for my 21st? You horrible mum!". And how would you feel once you realised that all those judgements of trump was like you chastising that mother? Once you realised trump was you? How sorry would you feel? Knowing all those judgements you did was pure stupidity and ignorance? So for the san pedro trip, I wanted to repent all my sins (all my judgements and hatred) because I felt so fucken ignorant, sad, arrogant and stupid for judging God, myself. And also my intention for this san pedro trip was to simply ask God for how to embody and live a life fully immersed in infinite love. BUT I'm not your typical seeker, I'm extremely/radically open minded, and I'm an extremely curious seeker that loves to 'understand'. I love omnipresence. Absolutely love it. A scientist's/INTPs dream is 100% omnipresence. Its philosophical nirvana. That's what us scientists get wet dreams over. We aren't like other seekers that just want to feel happy, or get over suffering, or just care about feeling good all day. We want to 'KNOW', 'UNDERSTAND' we aren't just satisfied with feeling good, we want to consciously know what's going on here. We want to go meta, again and again and again and again for absolutely no reason at all except because we are curious. And so, I had my intentions for the san pedro trip, but honestly, God decided to reveal some juicy secrets instead, so I just went for that. Drinking San Pedro I drank 30cm of san pedro juice I made up (getting pretty good at this brewing shit now, also my body must be getting use to san pedro because it didnt vomit this time, woohoo!) Trip Report - All the normal stuff that most teachers on here would agree with I think So I came up extremely slowly. Again just like the other san pedro trip report I did a while ago, I did not realise how high I was getting. I was getting waaay higher than I noticed. For me I thought what was happening was just a slight buzz. Nothing serious. Infact I was convinced I did the brew wrong, and I microdosed on this stuff (until later ). So I started questioning, how do I completely eliminate all hatred and judgement so that I can be infinite love all the time. Because I'm 2000% aware that I'm jumping from 1 to 2 and back to 1 again, and I'm doing that due to hatred and judgement. Once judgement and hatred is gone, and I embrace everything, that's it! Game over boiiis! I won! But then of course, being the highly meta, and scientific/INTP mind that I am, I jumped to questioning "wait, why am I even trying to eliminate judgment and hatred all together?". Like a curious question I've had for a while is, why did I, God, jump to duality in the first place. And then I became aware of the play. How we are all actors just pretending. The level of pretending that I became conscious of was insane. We pretend so much that its incredible. Matt Khan is pretending to be a spiritual teacher, that's the level. He's so conscious yet he's still pretending. And of course he isn't actually there and there are no 'others' but what I'm saying is God is capable of pretending to such an extent, that you could be as deeply enlightened as Ramana or Matt Khan and you'd still be pretending. Those teachers aint free of pretending, trust me. They get sucked into the thought story of being a teacher, and don't even realise they are getting sucked into that thought story. You can be deeply enlightened and yet still dogmatic and still believe in stuff and confuse truth for falsehood. This is how insanely large self deception is. Its unbelievable. I became aware of all of my lies (and this was necessary for repenting my sins of judgement and hatred). I had to let go of all lives to fully surrender to god. Then I became conscious for the first time of True omnipresence. I felt exactly, ex-act-fucken-leeee why everything was the way it is (and there is a ridiculously mind twisted answer below in the "off the deep end" section) but for now lets just say that I became aware that God knows everything about me, and before reincarnating as me, he knew exactly what was going to happen to me. Every single bit. He knows why I suck at meditation, COVID-19, my reincarnations of past lives, every-fucken-thing. Because the Godhead is a land where you know fucken everything. Its insane. And so when you think you're struggling with meditation and it sucks, and how everyone is better than you, or some other hardship, God KNEW all of that precisely! (to the nearest millimetre, nanosecond, micro moment, including the devilry) before deciding to reincarnate as you. Like in ego consciousness, it really feels like you're here for the first time, and God's doing something new and your the first. That's true. BUT! At the exact same time, God also knew everything that was about to happen. Its sort of like, imagine genes are the Godhead and the phenotypes are your life. Yes the phenotype is happening for the first time, But you knew everything that was gonna happen from the genes, just the knowledge from the genes is different to the experience of the actual phenotype though. So that's sort of what omnipresence is like, you dont experience everything but you fucken KNOW! The image I had of omnipresence was heaps of clouds out in the sky, and a dragon flying through it just looking down. Don't know why but there ya go. I decided to go for a walk because I was convinced I took a microdose and whats the worst that could happen (should have learnt my lesson from the last san pedro trip I did, but I'm God's son, so not learning my lesson is in my genes ) And again, just like the last san pedro trip, I didn't wake up, here I am 100% conscious as God. Just happened without realising it. No ego death, just here it is. And see at this point this is where doing trips to better or improve your life or spirituality goals starts to break down, because once you're fully conscious that everything is God's plan, you realise all your deficiencies are God's plan too. Even what I'm writing now, God knew all of this before reincarnating as me. And so improving spirituality from that state of consciousness doesn't make sense, because its already perfect. Your failure is perfect. At that point its just like, everything is already done. There's nothing to do, or improve on. And you realise, you entering this trip with an intention is itself a persona. Like you've got an intention because you're an actor pretending you're going through a spiritual journey that isn't actually there. But once you take the acting clothes off, there goes your intention. There goes everything. The intention's meaning requires acting as a basis for it to make sense. And so at this point its like, ok well, I'm at the beginning, where I'm trying to arrive at. Now there's no need for an intention...... now what? (meanwhile nearly got hit by a car because I stopped in the middle of the road just to recognise what's going on... oh the irony of being highly micro and macro at the same time) But then consciousness changed its tune. No, I'm gonna pretend again. And when I pretend, we need to change. I need more love. This story has gone through too much suffering, and not enough love, and the story's course needs to balance back to love again. And then I remembered total 100% omnipresence and perfectness. But then I went I know! But I need more love! That's gotta happen! Then God reminded me of 'the beginning'. Where I was before this entire, multi incarnation, multi universe world began. And reminded me that, you've known infinite love all your life. For eternity. This dualistic world you're in now, its new. Its never happened before. And that's amazing. Instead of rushing to where you were when you began, enjoy what this world has to offer. Trip Report: Off the Deep End: This is where I'd imagine the teachers on here reading this like wtf?? Insanity started here (if it didnt already hahahaha) Like stop rushing, and appreciate duality and form. Duality and form is a gift. Its not horrible. Its a gift. And I resonated with that godly message to a certain level, because this world is beautiful, and I am rushing too much to the enlightenment finish line, without enjoying the process. But honestly, from God consciousness, from a non dualistic standpoint, I rejected it. For the first time I witnessed God rejecting his own advice. Saying no to it. I said (extremely sincerely and genuinely and deeply) (as God) I know but, its not fun anymore. What's the point if its not fun? Its getting boring. Its getting too suffering intensive. I want a change to this world. Then an extremely subtle "snap!!!" happened in my brain. So subtle that the devil tried to cover it up. But it felt like I had just communicated my sincere plea for help, for love, to an extremely alien form of my higher self/God. Ridiculously alien. Expressing a need for change to the story I'm pretending to be in. And this is where things start getting trippy. Mind you, during the trip I thought all of this was completely normal. Only after the comedown when I remembered all this did I go, what is the actual fuck was all that about? So God said to himself in a monologue (as I AM God) "you really reject this dualistic life? You're seriously fed up with it? Its seriously not quenching your thirst?" And I thought about that, and honestly the answer was "yes". If I'm extremely honest with myself. I don't give a fuck about being a spiritual teacher, helping others, engaging with anyone in this world, all I want to do is know thyself. I'm super curious, and just want to know what the truly fuck is truly going on. I dont want bliss, or even love suprisingly, I just want to KNOW. To be as One as possible. Fuck the world. (this is in god consciousness, depression and human disorders are so long gone by this point I can't explain. So this is God saying it, not depressed electrobeam). Then God said "if you truly want to know all this stuff, then there's only 1 way". "what is that?" Then I got shown shit that I remembered. It didnt suprise me at all(until I came down). I remember this very very well. I knew this before the big journey. God showed me what true awakening is and said "all of your questions wont be answered, and what you truly want wont be discovered, until you truly awaken. There's absolutely no way to know the answers to your questions without 100% awakening" And what's the cost of 100% awakening? Completely and utterly forgetting everything that happened. Like completely forgetting when you were born, where you were born, your reincarnation's births, dmt machine elf incarnation births, your parents, the entire massive journey. Full on Universal Mind dementia. You'll know exactly what you want to know, but you'll need to completely forget your life to truly get the answer. Complete dissociation and never ever remembering it again, you wont even know this life happened. You (god mind you hahahaha, like the highest of the highest) wont even have a slight clue whether this journey happened or not. (like thats insane). And I went "hmmm that's right, I totally forgot about that" (now that seems insane but yes that happened hahahah; because im a good pretender. lets be real). So there I was walking around the park, contemplating (as God) whether I should completely and utterly wipe out this entire universe and multiverses to merge with True infinite love. Completely forget. And I walked back inside to take a sit on my sofa, because, you know, this is a pretty big decision, I need to think this through. and my flatmate asked if I was feeling ok, and I said "yeah I think I screwed up the brew because I don't feel anything". And I said that genuinely, I literally didn't feel like this san pedro did anything except for a slight buzz. But then I remembered I'm contemplating whether I'm gonna wipe out the entire universe. So I said "actually, I'm contemplating wiping out the entire universe, so maybe it did have an effect". But then from this level of consciousness, psychedelics are completely and utterly imaginary and everything is happening because of God, got absolutely nothing to do with psychedelics. So I'm like, wtf this is weird, I dont usually act like this off psychedelics, but at the same time psychedelics are completely imaginary, wtf... I'll come to that another day if I dont choose to wipe it out. The Absolute/Final/Total: Not Infinite Love, but infinity itself!!!! Mindfuck, radical open mindedness alert woo woo. I don't mean to offend anyone, but through the process of contemplating True awakening. I became conscious that all of my awakenings (no self, infinite love, everything/nothing, intelligence) were all just 1 dimensional, or all just apart of the matrix! Like I became conscious that the next big journey CAN and possibly WILL journey towards God completely differently to all of my awakening experiences. Like there are infinite different types of awakenings. And all of my awakenings were just 1 fucken type. Like I mean, non duality, and wave in the ocean, its all just 1 type of being. Non duality is just 1 type of being out of an infinite number of beings(at the same level of consciousness. Of course there's lots of types of beings, but I'm saying there's an infinite number of beings with the same level of consciousness as non duality), used to journey towards God. non duality is just a tiny sand spec in the beach. I've experienced infinite love, non duality many many many times before. I know those states very very well. I'm not confusing non duality for something else. I mean it when I say non duality is just 1 type of being, and there are completely different "big journeys" that probably happened in the past that uses completely different types of being equivalent to non duality but completely different. And of course, I had to ask the question. What's infinite love? Is it final? Is it absolute? And God made it clear, to truly know, I need to merge into infinite love and completely forget everything about this big journey. Even forget that non duality is a fucken thing! Because when I truly forget, even non duality wont exist. True awakening is beyond non duality, and the next being might be equivalent to non duality in terms of states of consciousness, but it will be completely different. And this sort of realisation of forgetting, made me realise, that Love also, is just 1 type of being. Its just 1 type of the highest state of consciousness. There are infinite states of Being equivalent to Love, but different! In other words, each big journey uses an equivalent state of consciousness, but one that is completely different to Love. But for you to realise those different states, you need to completely wipe out this big journey and completely forget and dissociate from it. What is God really? But see this is the thing, what is god really? God is pure unlimited-ness. Its not divisions, or energy or even fucken Love. Its pure, utter pure, unlimitedness. Like Ramana Maharshi is 0% aware of how blank the canvas really fucken is. Its extremely blank. The canvas isn't fundamentally made of love, no, no, no. You haven't reached the highest awakening if you're not aware of that. That canvas is made of pure unlimitedness. You can dream up any fucken thing, so much that its terrifying. That's what God is. Its not Infinite Love, that's not final. I know that sounds off, but I know 10000%, Infinite Love is not final. Final/Absolute is pure unlimitedness. Pure dream up whatever the fuck you want. Yes God ultimately wants to merge with itself, to unite with itself, and it does a dance between duality and non duality, but keep in mind, that's not what God ultimately is, beyond that is pure unlimitedness. That's what God actually is behind the scenes. And at this point of the trip, God started sweating a little. Because he just remembered what he actually is, and its terrifying. Electrobeam was fine. He was high, happy, low heart beat. But God was having a bit of an existential crisis. And God wasn't surprised, or shocked, God was like "oh thats right". And a bit of terror. At the fact that he's pure unlimitedness. Because the scary part is not that God is pure unlimitedness. God can do everything. Can dream up anything, but the terrorising part, is the fact that the one thing he can't do, is kill himself. Eradicate himself. Stop himself. You have no choice but to dream everything that you're capable of dreaming because you can't kill yourself. Holy fuck if that doesn't scare you, then I didn't imagine you and duality was real all along. Are you aware that your ability to create horror is unlimited? Youre a fucking supernova on repeat! And your job as God is to control yourself! Woah and I thought I had it tough doing my day job. What is Omnipresence really? Yeah we like to think that omnipresence is knowing stuff. unravelling stuff that's hidden. Omnipresence at the lower levels (in this dimension) is western science. Discovering microbes and stuff. The next level higher is awakenings, like everything and nothing. knowing what God actually is. The next level is revealing devilry and self deception, the next level is total omnipresence, knowing everything about why everything is the way it is... but that's not the highest... the highest level of omnipresence is, accepting, or being fully conscious that you created everything. Literally everything. I used the gene phenotype above in the normal section of my post about what 100% omnipresence feels like. The highest level of omnipresence is realising you made that entire thing up on the spot. You're so unlimited, your canvas is so empty, that everything you could be 100% omnipresent of, is there, not because God planned it, but because God created it on the fucken spot. god doesn't need to bend to any rules to make things appear. He doesn't have to plan. God doesn't have to plan the laws of physics. God is so unlimited, and his canvas is so empty, that he just makes it up on the spot. Your entire life, infinite love, waking up process, etc. Wasn't planned. God made it NOW, by saying "this is what I want NOW". Nothing else needed. Just now. Just this is it now. He doesn't even need intelligence, its beyond intelligence. Its pure unlimitedness. Everything that is to be omnipresent of, is literally just accepting that what you create is what is. In its purest form. And at this stage of the trip, I started questioning "wait, did I just create duality because I was worried about how unlimited I was and I needed to rein myself in?" I felt like God was a wild gorilla, and duality was the cage. Then further I questioned "did I just create infinite love just to rein myself in"? Because its 10000% clear to me that infinite love isnt final. Then I came down from the trip. And reflected on what happened and went wait, what the fuck? I failed to get takeaways for that one, I need to do more trips.

That is what enlighment/hapiness is. Just that. Understand that fear does not exist. What should you do to get enlightment/be in permanent bliss? Pursue fear. What is fear? Fear of death. All the others fears are derived from that. If you access and observe the final fear, wich is fear of death, you will see that "nothing bad happens", then you finally realize fear does not exist. Everything is good. You can do this right now. You don´t need years of meditation. Just open that door. Jump into the cold water. One day you realize, everthing was good since the begining, everything was always perfect, how fool you were trying to deal with that problems that didn´t even exist.

I believe I am well aware of my emotions. Aside from any major events, I could feel bliss at times during meditation. And sometimes I feel stress throughout life, but I remember to bring awareness onto it and it vanishes immediately. Major events may cause a lot of stress for me. Those are the ones I consider traumatizing. They usually are overwhelming and not located in a certain area. The minor stress I can easily locate, usually in my stomach area. I tried it now. I felt extremely faint sparks of love at first, especially when Leo was naming different memories. But they didn't last long. And when he started talking about magnifying the feeling, I lost track because there was nothing to magnify.

They don't want because his (mine too) ego rejects absolutely the idea of death, because ego is a software designed to survive, no more. All of us would like to see the bliss of God and the wonder of the conciousness, but the software is there. Without drugs it's an absolutely titanic work. With drugs....I'm in that, like you, but I don't think it's enlightenment, it's a glimpse of it. But it's million times better than nothing, of course. Good luck with that!

Follow your bliss, man.

Then get it done. If you know it will get you a step closer towards your bliss, don't prolong it. Now is the perfect time, despite the management issues. It costs you little to at least reveal the truth about the value. Simply by knowing what feels right, the solution will appear in a brighter light. Writing down your limiting beliefs is also a priceless part of the course. It comes after having a clear life purpose statement. Don't think I'm somehow perfect. Especially not about the monetary aspect of things. Value my authenticity advice more. Over the following years, I will inevitably struggle, too, to make my life purpose real. You are never alone.