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So awareness & feeling do not come and go. Thought, comes and goes. Now we are in the light of awareness, so to speak. Now let’s look at this for more relief...patience & humility still being the key.... Awareness of “living”, that distinction, requires the ability to compare “living” to “not living”. Awareness is not aware of “not living”, or of “living”. Awareness is aware of the thoughts - ‘living’, and ‘not living’. That is what is meant by duality. This or that, this and that. Again, awareness is aware of the thoughts - “this”, “that”, “living”, “not living”. “What if” implies a future scenario. But that what if, is nothing to be concerned about. That what if, is not possible. There can not, and will not come a day, where a realization occurs that are, or are not, “living”, or “not living”. This is self evident, as you are aware, right now, of the thoughts - “living” or “not living”. There is, in your direct experience, no awareness of living or not living, only of the thoughts - “living”, “not living”. Philosophically speaking, to mistake my thought about something, for the actuality, is not really ‘living’ this life at all. To realize what is being shared here, is to realize one does not need to believe thoughts. Once the dualistic nature of thoughts is realized, it actually becomes challenging to continue to believes them - especially when they don’t feel good. Thoughts have always appeared & disappeared, and thoughts will continue to appear & disappear. What appears and disappears - is magic, and unexplainable. Explanation, is really, just more thoughts. The concern “what if I’m not really living”, is revealed to not be a concern at all. You felt concern, you expressed & inquired, because something didn’t feel quite right about the thought. Believing the thoughts, is the matrix, the prison of the mind, and indeed does not feel quite right. Concern was felt... ‘what if I’m not living’ was a thought. What didn’t feel quite right was the thought about yourself - not the content. You are beyond, transcendent of, thought. This is self evident, as again, “you” is a thought, the real you - is the awareness of that thought. And you, awareness, do not come and go. What does not come and go, does not really live and die. “Live” & “die”, are thoughts, eternal awareness is aware of. These thoughts come and go, appear and disappear. In the matrix / prison of the mind, the believing of the thoughts... “nothing matters” is indeed concerning. But ‘nothing, or better said, ‘no thing’, is awareness. “Nothing matters” can be taken as a thought, and the feeling response is ‘not good’, if you will. The feeling is responding to the misunderstanding. What is misunderstood, is that ‘nothing matters’, in the way you’re interpreting it, is just a thought. As in, “then life won’t matter, life would be pointless & meaningless - because nothing in life would matter”. That is what does not feel good. The misunderstanding is what does not feel good. So what to do about misunderstanding, which does not feel good? Understanding, of course. Which feels wonderful & liberating. And you are in luck when it comes to misunderstanding & understanding, as other people have already figured reality out. For you, there is only to choose to spend some time on it, to understand and realize. Nonduality teachers, gurus, presenters, whatever you’d like to call them, understand & have realized, what quantum physicists have proved over a hundred years ago. ‘No thing’, awareness... in quantum mechanics jargon, you might call “superposition” - that which is infinite emptiness & fullness, infinite potential, formless & limitless - Awareness - and therefore can appear as anything. ‘It’ does this, this appearing, by vibrating. This is referred to as M theory, or string theory. This vibrating can only be referred to in theory, because no thing vibrates and appears as the very thoughts, and therefore the very theories....about....that which appears as all ‘things’ by vibrating. You can experience much liberation, many great feeling epiphanies, in understanding these things, just by spending time on YouTube. Patience & humility are key. As great as it feels - even understanding reaches it’s natural ceiling, because understanding is essentially, thought. It’s still appearance, but it is the understanding that thought, and therefore understanding - is appearance. By the time this ceiling of understanding is reached, so much misunderstanding has been seen through and shedded, that you are mostly out of the matrix. Then, if interested, there is the ‘going and seeing for yourself’, so to speak. Experiencing that which is prior to experience itself. That which is prior to thought & understanding. That which is prior to the vibration of itself, prior to it’s appearance. This is the matrix. Reactionary living. You are becoming aware of this. You are ‘waking up’. This is good. You are realizing why people let go, listen to feeling, meditate, do yoga, express how they feel, seek more understanding, take psychedelics, go on retreats, etc. You might say that all of these are doing more about the situation of misunderstanding, than just thinking and settling for thoughts that don’t feel good. This is thinking, and thinking won’t be resolved by more thinking. Instead, recognize the limit, the futility of thinking. Tomatoes are chosen or not, because of feeling, sensation. Not thoughts. If you think you love tomatoes because of how they look, but they taste terrible, you won’t eat them. Taste buds change. Every thing is really vibration, which appears to be a ‘thing’. To ‘move on’ from thinking...abide in feeling. This means if a thought doesn’t feel good to you, you will swiftly and effortlessly let it go. In truth, thought appears and disappears already anyways. So it is so effortless in fact, that you don’t even have to let it go. Without your continued focus - it’s gone. Magic. And another thought appears. A better feeling, more insightful thought. There is no limit or bottom to this good feelingness. It takes time, there is momentum, there is letting go of thoughts of misunderstanding....but there is orgasmic thoughts. Imagine sitting quietly, and genuinely preferring not to have sex, because it would actually feel slightly less amazing, than the peace, bliss, and appearing thoughts. You don’t hate Jim Newman. You just want to let all misunderstanding go, to be in the state he is in. Patience. Humility. Listen more to what he is saying. Listen less to any thoughts of judgement of him. Tastes change. You might profoundly love him one day. That might be just such a blissful thought. If the separation of others doesn’t exist - then only ‘connection’ exists. For example, I am a dad, and I have a son. There is connection between us, there is a bond if you will, between us. See what that connection is, see what that bond is made of, prior to, and beyond, just the appearance.

Insight over the last few days about what karma actually means: Physical suffering doesn't come from the pain and discomfort of the present moment (such as picking up an extremely heavy object and holding it, or having a cold shower, or getting kicked in the balls). It comes from resisting the present moment (resisting the pain and discomfort) if you don't resist you don't go through suffering. End of story. Why do you resist? Because you have shadows, and shadow work to do. You feel guilty about something you did, you don't feel right about your future direction in life. You feel like you made a wrong choice somewhere. You worry over something (like your mum dying) etc etc. These shadows are the exact opposite of surrender. They are 'clinging on' ness. Your guilt from not correcting the cashier when he gave you an extra 5 dollar note, while doesn't seem like much, is actually very deeply preventing you to surrender your ego, let it go and drown and just dissolve in infinite love. In your daily life, you might be going fine, but there might be this slight sense of I ness. Or this sense of suffering, or this sense of limitation or this sense that "there's something more". And it doesn't seem like a shadow. It just seems like some sort of limitation. But when you inquire deeper, you realise this mere sense is actually a shadow. You inquire more and unseemingly out pops that not correcting the cashier of that 5 dollar note that you did a decade ago, that you haven't let go of yet. That was what that sense was, yet it seems so different to that on the surface. If you had a life purpose that was true to you (instead of what your parents, society colleagues told you to have) if you never did anything to anyone that would make you feel guilty if you always said what you honestly believed you should have said if you always made those decisions that felt right, rather than the decisions that were exciting or titillating(for example, choosing to save money for a house instead of buying a fancy computer that doesn't provide very essential value to you) if you always thought about how to give, rather than how to get if you always chose to believe in yourself at the cost of losing financial, social or economic security if you always chose to stand up for what was right at the cost of losing financial, social or economic security if you always treated others how you truly feel they should have been treated, rather than what your anger, hatred, judgement, friends, family, society said how you should treat them if you were always honest with Yourself if you always sincerely loved Yourself Then, you'd have no ego. If you followed all of the above, then when someone physically kicks you in the balls, you'd have no suffering. Because the kicking in the balls prompts pain. Pain that makes you think you're gonna loose something. You're gonna loose your beautiful state that you're in now, and enter some hell hole state, or possibly die. Possibly disappear, possibly go to hell. That's really why being kicked in the balls hurts. Its all about being worried about loosing something, and being worried about a truth, that you don't like, being revealed. It has almost nothing to do with the pain itself. Its all about what that pain could possibly mean in the future (note NOT what that pain means now, its always a hypothetical, future state that causes the suffering, what things may turn into, not how things are now). And note the thing you're losing is that sense of "grasping" or "holding onto something". It feels super important. But thats a trick. On the outside it looks like a heart, something which keeps the universe together, but on the inside, its shadow. Its guilt, or shame or whatever else. The kicking in the balls, prompts guilt, sadness, depression, wrongness, concern, regret, shame, embarrassment, again all these emotions that the kicking in the balls prompts has nothing to do with kicking in the balls, its got to do with the shadows it reveals. Kicking in the balls prompts that guilt from the cashier. And the pain is coming from that guilt, not from being kicked in the balls. This is how karma works. All those little things where you're living life not to how you KNOW deep down you should be living life to, but living life in-authentically to yourself, all that stuff gets tucked away, and comes back to bite you when the possibility of loosing your sense of self, or some state you're comfortable with, arises. Like getting kicked in the balls. Indirectly, if you had not done that guilty act with the cashier, and told him/her that she gave you the wrong change, that would boost your pickup results, and increase your happiness and reduce your suffering during getting kicked in the balls. Because where is all that fear of pickup coming from? Its coming from the cashier guilt incident, shame, not feeling like you're expressing yourself enough, etc. Its incongruence with your authentic self and your authentic actions. And your incongruence seems so small at times. Like stepping on an ant. Oh boy, if you think your fear of pickup is not coming from the guilt of stepping on that 1 ant back 5 years ago... then you're kidding yourself. Start living congruently with your authentic self. Be extremely strict about it. Don't let yourself feel guilty, shameful, embarrassed about anything. Don't step on that ant, correct that cashier, wave and say hello to that down syndrome kid when he walks up to you and tries to communicate with you, be loving to that poor person on the street, don't let anger or dogma make you hurt others, even if they are in the wrong. Don't blame others for mistakes you made and don't judge others when you don't know the full picture of their lives. Just don't do any of it because all that stuff will make you suffer more when its time to grow, when its time to die, when its Gods time to change. And it prevents you from letting go... which is ultimately the point of life. Useful Download About Work Each person has unique and extremely revolutionary discoveries/inventions/ways to impact the world. These revolutions are covered by social conditioning, indoctrination and dogmas, low EQ, low IQ, lack of consciousness, fear, shadows, traumas, lack of moral development, etc. To fully get in touch with your discoveries and inventions that you are to share with the world, you must do shadow work, consciousness work, explore other perspectives, have diverse experiences, shed ego, indoctrination and dogmas, etc. You must also contemplate, put attention on, love your passion, curiosity and child like nature. This passion isn't necessarily tied to any particular medium (like mathematics, or music or software code) but could be tied to anything. The point is to put attention and focus on it, engage with it, contemplate it, get more in touch with it. It feels good the more you do it. It feels blissful and sometimes loving. Follow your bliss and love. By product of the above, you deepen and get more in touch with your unique, True Self, which is ripe with creative potential, and has unique insights, tendencies, ways of looking at things which are beautiful. When looking at problems or any sort of phenomena, your deepened state instantly sees that problem in a unique way, and therefore develops a unique solution/perspective that expresses extreme bliss, love and joy. But without the ability to express that joy, you cannot share it. So you must also learn how your mediums that you express your unique perspective work, how the entities(probably people) you want to transmit this unique perspective to work, how they understand the world, what they accept, what they reject, what makes sense to them, what they want and don't want, etc. And then you must use this mastery over mediums to express your unique perspective on the world as effectively as possible. You ultimate career goal: Get paid loads of money to express your best, authentic Self and unique worldview through mediums that you enjoy working with. Your unique medium is mathematics, technical writing and illustration, and software engineering. You also specialise in medical devices specifically, but can of course branch out to other areas. You also specialise in intelligent agents (artifical intelligence and making things smart) but again can branch out into other areas from that passion. The more you spend your career time on those mediums, the better your life will be. From this perspective, value = sharing your unique worldview/Self/Way of understanding the world + through mastery of a particular theme/field (being artifical intelligence/agents, mathematics, software, technical illustration and writing). Goals: 1) increase your career mediums by the above. Because the more you do your mediums, the more joy you will have because you're doing only what you love. 2) master your mediums to make expressing your unique worldviews extremely effective. 3) do consciousness and shadow work, explore other perspectives, follow your curiosity, shed ego and dogmas, increase your child like mind to deepen how in touch you are with your unique perspective, worldview and Self.

@Marianitozz I think in theory it's possible to transcend human needs, but since we happen to inhabit a body, there are some needs that require another person. Not saying that you can't deeply connect with yourself, but deeply connecting with another person gives you a whole set of different and important experiences. Of course no experience will ever satisfy you completely, because it's impermanent. But that doesn't mean it's bad or that you shouldn't pursue these experiences. It means that it's important not to forget that you won't find permanent bliss in any of them. So why not look for a partner if that is what you want now?

For the good of the world and all sentient beings, I do sincerely wish that you are enlightened. The positive vibes can help a lot of beings. But, respectfully asking, isn't boredom and craving of attention, a sign of the ego and its need for sensation ! Shouldn't you be just content with the bliss and peace you must be feeling ?

@susanyzm I don't look upon my purpose as something fixed. It's fluid, changing, and morphing as I change. I prefer what Campbell says - Follow your bliss. Regardless of your situation now you can follow your bliss for a short amount of time daily. And through this, you will learn more about what you will learn more about your interests and you will develop. Don't over-complicate this process.

You're right, it's not inhumane but I feel that there is a somewhat perverse approach to non-duality that is a misinterpretation (at least through the eyes of beings that are living in duality and are prone to suffering). I feel resonant with this because I used to be somewhat brainwashed into this way of thinking... and it just results in egoic cycles (egoic in this sense as a sense of self importance or knowing, rather than a softer, open and compassionate world view). What wisdom is it to bypass acknowledgement of suffering because we are all part of the same source? It makes sense, sure, but we are all in this game together, all at different levels, and the way some of these non-dual approaches come across seem to take the vibe of 'just snap out of it'. Just to add to what you've said... myself I can experience very painful emotions very blissfully, if I so choose to. It is occasionally offensive and horrifying to my ego but it is possible, and the deeper or more intense the pain, the more bliss and pleasure arises from the experience. This being said... I do not wish to continue on in a regular state of pain just because this is the almighty plan. I believe there is an end to this pain once the experience has been had in totality. If this is bullshit please let me know so I can end it sooner (lol). But yeah... on the 'lowering our consciousness to hurt each other'. Sure... this is what I'm talking about and is something that seems to be missed by some (ie that war is just love because we are all one source etc). It's a view, but not one that seems to be of service to all. Whilst it is technically true, I don't believe that it is a true representation of a consciously evolved society, which sounds like what you're saying anyway. Overall I am just trying to touch on this potentially distorted view of non-duality that some seem to have. This view differs greatly from say that of Saiva Tantra (which is a beautifully rich philosophy).

I feel like you want a quick fix like right now. But life's an experiment, as Leo has emphasized it over and over again. Everyone is a unique puzzle. "Follow your bliss" is the right way. But there's no "fixed bliss" or "the best route to that bliss". Leo's videos, Life Purpose Course, coaching, I tried them all. Not a single one has solved my problems. I felt really frustrated at one point. Like what you said "I'm just not good at life." I felt the same thing. But on looking back, each of these tryings gave me a small nudge to my bliss. For this I'm very grateful. Even God doesn't know everything. God has created these opposing perspectives to know itself. So, confusion is part of the journey. We may suffer from it. But God enjoys it all. This perspective always gives me relief when I feel lost and anxious. Hope you can find some enjoyment in trying out different things even though they do not turn out to be your bliss.

I believe I am well aware of my emotions. Aside from any major events, I could feel bliss at times during meditation. And sometimes I feel stress throughout life, but I remember to bring awareness onto it and it vanishes immediately. Major events may cause a lot of stress for me. Those are the ones I consider traumatizing. They usually are overwhelming and not located in a certain area. The minor stress I can easily locate, usually in my stomach area. I tried it now. I felt extremely faint sparks of love at first, especially when Leo was naming different memories. But they didn't last long. And when he started talking about magnifying the feeling, I lost track because there was nothing to magnify.

They don't want because his (mine too) ego rejects absolutely the idea of death, because ego is a software designed to survive, no more. All of us would like to see the bliss of God and the wonder of the conciousness, but the software is there. Without drugs it's an absolutely titanic work. With drugs....I'm in that, like you, but I don't think it's enlightenment, it's a glimpse of it. But it's million times better than nothing, of course. Good luck with that!

That is what enlighment/hapiness is. Just that. Understand that fear does not exist. What should you do to get enlightment/be in permanent bliss? Pursue fear. What is fear? Fear of death. All the others fears are derived from that. If you access and observe the final fear, wich is fear of death, you will see that "nothing bad happens", then you finally realize fear does not exist. Everything is good. You can do this right now. You don´t need years of meditation. Just open that door. Jump into the cold water. One day you realize, everthing was good since the begining, everything was always perfect, how fool you were trying to deal with that problems that didn´t even exist.

Follow your bliss, man.

Then get it done. If you know it will get you a step closer towards your bliss, don't prolong it. Now is the perfect time, despite the management issues. It costs you little to at least reveal the truth about the value. Simply by knowing what feels right, the solution will appear in a brighter light. Writing down your limiting beliefs is also a priceless part of the course. It comes after having a clear life purpose statement. Don't think I'm somehow perfect. Especially not about the monetary aspect of things. Value my authenticity advice more. Over the following years, I will inevitably struggle, too, to make my life purpose real. You are never alone.

That's what I thought. Fortunately, you are honest enough to rate it at 70%. You know very well why. Something from the past is bogging you up. There's a certain visualization in the course that takes you back in time, and it reveals the biggest lesson you have learned. If I were in your shoes, I would go through the exercise or alternatively practice forgiveness, and then I would reassess the value. If the wound heals and you still find the value meaningful, keep it. It will be positive. Otherwise, drop it. Drop it now. This is your top value. Your dearest one. The backlashes are there for a reason. Trust them. Listen to your body - does fear manifest, either in chest or stomach, when you just think about dropping freedom? It may be so. It's a defense mechanism. It is awesome you know this. You already do. The bliss is here. Think about it: If there didn't exist a blissful purpose right now, you wouldn't be seeking it. So listen closely. You already know what it is. I have found holotropic breathwork to be a great tool for assessing authenticity.

Feels true. However, I don't feel this software development path is my path. I want to follow my bliss.

Hello, actualizers. I wanted to share some of my day to day experiences with meditation, self-inquiry, self-reflection. More so i will elaborate on the feelings and cognitions that i usually feel. I have picked meditation habit on and off since 2015. The first year was very boring. It was so boring to sit even for 20 minutes and i often wondered whats the point. I was trying to push myself, so i can sit trough it. It was just plain suffering for some time, but i noticed, it had some quality, that it was worth the struggle. Then i somehow sat for an hour, when i was meditating. It wasn't blissful, it was quite peaceful. But really just that. I felt like my breathing were very natural and i was more aware of parts of my body and i feel more centered in my day to day activity. But i remembered at the end of the year 2015 i bought an inner engineering course by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, and i for the first time felt that i can change something in my life and that life was somewhat in my hands, however i felt a feeling i will always remember. That was the feeling of suffering and not knowing why you are suffering. Looking back at that moment, now that i underestand reality more and more, that was something i don't even want to experience again. So some suicidal toughts, some very depressing and dark toughts came. So turned my head all the way towards spirituality at that time. I remember being so negative and occasionaly violent irrational toughts were flowing trough my head, and also a sense of anger, anger for feeling like i have to live in unhappy existence. So up to this point i still have somewhat of a desire to leave the body, (not suicide), not by hurting it, but consciously, there is acctually a funny story about that also. So i found Mooji's videos and whatever else guru's videos on the net. I practiced mooji's natrural noticing meditation religiously. Sometimes even up to 2 times a day, means 2 hours. Why did i do that? I felt absolutely miserable in my first job, which ironically is the same i am currently working now and externally its not much better. However the first thing i felt was a certain warmth lighting up in the region of my upper body. Then i started noticing that energies are real, there is such a thing as kundalini energy and what a chakra feels like. And soon after i noticed that my crown chakra has become loosely active. I could feel it pouring out warmth and bliss. Bliss is an actual feeling (chemistry in the body), almost like marihuana induced effect but sober. But my stomach was so hurting, it was almost like hurting from every worry and low self-worth pattern i held and entertained. And since i really wanted enlightenment but i was a mess, i suffered so much. But after a while it stabilized, it is still a struggle, however there is more and more bliss. And really all this time, the hardest thing for me is waking up and experiecing that bad feeling, so i have to catch up, but very soon after there is bliss. Then later after that i started to have mini-awakenings, having a change of habits, and feel so complete about death. However the experience i still unsustainable. Yes, i can really choose to feel into the moment, as it is the only truth realy, and that ability, my friends, i wouldn't give away for anything. Ever. Then i met and saw some psychics and now my view of life has changed completely. If i have to give description of what meditation does to you, firstly it makes you a different person much faster. Like you evolve your beliefs over your lifetime, with meditation, its almost like in 6 months time i am already feeling like a different person to what i used to be. Now there just is a choice to entertain certain toughts, or just let it flow and be exhausted. There is more presentness. Less sleep needed. Bliss all over the body. Peacefulness and non-violent feeling. Feeling of wanting to be responsible for your duties like work, because this is the easiest way, there is just less suffering if you are upfront and integrated into what you do. Feeling like time has less impact upon me. There are also awakenings in my sleep (no-dream void/infinity experience) besides the enlightenment glimpses in waking state. Also you are MUCH more inuitive and in clarity to see who you whould listen to. There is more gratitude also. However still, if i could leave this body and never come back, i wouldn't hesitate. I have tried to do that in my evening sittings... It does lead to an awakening of sorts but i am affraid to go too far, as i still kinda want to live here as i am. Weird indeed, how are your experiences?

"Anyone that says there's no price to this whole enlightenment thing, just joy and bliss, don't be quick to buy that." BUY, Adyashanti, don't buy the thing with no price? Did someone sneeze on the free cheese samples or something? I love the variety of spiritual teachings one can say to you and not be wrong, as you navigate these tantalizingly deceptive mystic mists of the psyche. When I was a kid, my parents took me to this cave park and I got lost in a cave and I figured no one knew I was lost or cared, so it never occurred to me that the guide speaking overhead was a park guide who was actually giving me instructions on how to get out. Had to find the way on my own. Huh, this post got too journaly and personal so I decided not to reply to the thread and post here. Then I accidentally posted there. What evs I guess, everyone here knows I'm crazy anyway.

"Anyone that says there's no price to this whole enlightenment thing, just joy and bliss, don't be quick to buy that." BUY, Adyashanti, don't buy the thing with no price? Did someone sneeze on the free cheese samples or something? I love the variety of spiritual teachings one can say to you and not be wrong, as you navigate these tantalizingly deceptive mystic mists of the psyche. When I was a kid, my parents took me to this cave park and I got lost in a cave and I figured no one knew I was lost or cared, so it never occurred to me that the guide speaking overhead was a park guide who was actually giving me instructions on how to get out. Had to find the way on my own.

Dear blankisomeone: Don't worry, From what I understand: Any intense suffering / Joy after it reaches a certain threshold will inevitably turn into enlightenment. The pressure of too much pain will squeeze your mind in ways, which in some way will definitely lead to enlightenment. It is literally impossible to eternally suffer and not get enlightened. The only difference will be the different thresholds for different people. Remember Eckhart Tolle? This is why you may last much longer in a heaven. But, lasting much longer in a hell is practically impossible. Infact, concentrating on intense pain as well as intense bliss / joy are listed as some of the methods among 114 to get enlightened in "Vijñāna Bhairava Tantra". Also, there are rituals to ensure the dead get into pleasant states of existence and do not enter into such unpleasant states. The best way to ensure this is to make them think about pleasant and lovable things during death. This may not be possible all the time. Thus, the rituals. E.g: Also, the fact that Brahman/Infinite Consciousness being infinitely potent that it can also have people in eternal hells, suffering forever, can also be realized to be true. But, unless prompted by some agency which already is in existence like you or me, by imagining and meditation or by the dead people imagining such a reality like a dream due to previous tendencies will not create such a reality. Suppose lets imagine we created such a reality by wishing to see eternal hells with people suffering in them. What would happen then? This is what would happen: Since every reality is like water seen in the mirage. Such realities like any other reality will appear to you initially, known only to you. The people you see in those hells suffering would have been projected within your own consciousness temporarily with make shift people with make shift stories about their past eternal actions and sufferings in make shift hells. If you ask them to tell their stories, they will tell some stories as if it had happened to them. But, all these stories will depend on the karmic and mental structure of you who is projecting them. Just like in dreams, based on our wakeful experiences, the dreams automatically constructs realities and make us experience them. We also do not consciously control every aspect of it. It automatically happens based on our mental and karmic structure we posses. Alternatively, If you are highly enlightened and and are very conscious; you may even have good control over such a projection. Being able to project exactly the way you want it to be. Those people who learn to lucid dream also control their dreams consciously. These people being projected only because of being prompted by your own intention and imagination to see such realities, these people do not posses any karma. As such, had no prior existence prior to you imagining them. They are practically without too much sense of a separate ego self. Just like an enlightened person loses the sense of self and feels like not existing, in a way; similarly these imaginary people are practically like enlightened, without any karma, only driven by the karma of the person projecting them through his imagination. But, since these people have no prior knowledge about enlightenment and don't have too much ego, they hardly are aware of such things and do not have their own likes and dislikes. They are practically like children or somewhat like zombies. But, are very well capable of acting and behaving they way the person imagining them to be. But, all of that would appear to you as very real(In a way, it really is). All those people and those hells and stories will only last as long as their projection lasts in your conciousness. Once the projection is over, everything is over. This is exactly what happens every night, even in our dreams. If such same imaginary projections happen to last for a while, either in mediation or in the minds of people who have died. Then those imaginary people on account of having repetitive experiences will start to develop a separate ego identity and will gain a strong separate individual presence and will go on reincarnating like any other egoic entity until spiritual wisdom dawns on them. This is why I keep urging people to have enough theoretical knowledge before diving into it practically. So that you can avoid such unnecessary fears. Please read this: https://estudantedavedanta.net/The-Supreme-Yoga-Swami-Venkatesananda.pdf Death - An Inside Story: A book for all those who shall die - Book by Sadhguru: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Death_An_Inside_Story/ydzQDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover Also Bhagavad Gita.

Dear gswva, Once again: I'm not enlightened. My knowledge is only through the scriptures I read and videos that I watch online. It's very much possible my knowledge is flawed. Without enlightenment we can only speculate. Even with enlightenment, it seems there are various levels of enlightenment with different knowledge and more depth to such knowledge. Having understood this, we can only speculate. So, lets speculate: From my understanding, all the descriptions that we give about the Brahman are just that: Descriptions and Thoughts. Even the word Brahman is just a label and as such is just a thought. Neither can you say it exist, nor can you say it doesn't exist. It exists without existing. It is the pure absolute nothingness. So absolute in its emptiness that it becomes the very source of every unique thing. Yet, none of those things are different from it. They only exist in and as itself. The way we think and believe seems to be the way Brahman seem to appear to us(Just like the AI in the movie Captain Marvel). In Non-Dual Traditions: The same reality is experienced as nameless and formless but with all potential. In Bhakthi Traditions: Those who worship krishna report visiting krishna and his abode Goloka(Krishna's abode); those who worship shiva talk about their experiences of shiva; similarly the Devi(goddess) has been seen(e,g: Ramakrishna paramahamsa frequently talked with "kali devi"). Similarly, visiting heaven and christ in christianity; Egyptian gods in ancient egypt etc.. In which ever way we create our karma(Cause & Effect - Tendencies, Beliefs, Conditioning, Memories, Behaviours, etc). such seems to be our experience. Each of these worshipers actually experience reality as if their god is the one who created the entire reality and He/She/They/It is the one who is presiding over everything. Such gods actually show to their devotees through certain experiences how they are the alpha and omega of everything(Best e.g: Virat Rupa(Universal Form) of Krishna shown to Arjuna in the battlefield). During such experiences the devotees actually experience their deity to be anything and everything, with all the descriptions and experiences of non-dual liberation as well as dual liberations being present within their deity itself. Although the deity seen with a form, still at the same time being infinite; with everything present within themselves; Just like fractals although seem to have a limited form; after having zoomed in, will reveal infinite patterns with infinite depth. I'll give you just one example of how they experience their realities based on their belief: "In Gaudiya Vaishnava school of bhakthi(Devotional) tradition(ISKCON). Their deity is Krishna. They make a distinction between Material reality and Spiritual reality. Spiritual reality having many varieties of infinite realms all being completely perfect and eternal. Each realm has a certain form of Krishna presiding over that realm. There is no suffering in any of those realms whatsoever. All of them are filled only with blissful experiences. When they want to experience material reality they descend and have them and again return back to their own abodes. Anybody who develops devotion and worships Krishna believing the stories about him with full unconditional loving intensity; after getting liberation in bhakthi(Dual type liberation) and after giving up their physical body, they go to such places and stay there eternally(I doubt it being eternal - But, who knows) Then, Krishna also creates these Material reality where infinite universes are generated and dissolved again and again. Within each of which: material heavens, hells and earthly experiences are experienced according to the karma of the living entities with incarnation and reincarnation cycles going on again and again. until liberation happens. But, they say that all these material heavens and hells and earthly realms are all temporary and will get destroyed during universal dissolution. And all of them are born in a new universe and are placed in situations suitable for their karma. Also, enjoyment and suffering in earth, heaven or hellish realms are experienced only as long as the karma for such enjoyment or suffering lasts. As such, are only temporary. Karma keeps generating and doesn't run out as long as actions are done with attachment for material fruits. In this tradition, there were and still are very exalted enlightened beings who have experienced these realms/realities directly and written about them. These realities are not experienced as hallucinatory. The realities when being experienced are more profound and vivid than even our own earthly reality. In one such story, a sage during his meditation on his lord was experiencing such a realm and got his finger burnt in that realm. When he opened his eyes in our realm, his finger actually was burnt even in our realm(remember that scene in Matrix?)." The experiences mentioned above are only experienced as such by those who follow Gaudiya Vaishnava Tradition(ISKCON) which is just one sub-tradition within the vaishnava tradition within Hinduism. Like this, there are literally more than thousand of other traditions within Hinduism itself. There are 33 million gods in Hinduism it is said. Likewise, there are many different religions in other parts of the world each with their own belief and customs and traditions. Just like the e.g given above, all of them experience their LIFE based on how they create their own karma(Cause & Effect, tendencies, beliefs, conditioning, memories, behaviors, etc).. They experience their gods, heavens , hells and other such things, the way they imagined and believed. All of this is just like water in the mirage. As such you can say, it doesn't exist. But then, as some form of an imagination itself, all of it is real. Just like dreams when experienced are reacted-to-emotionally by the dreamer as being real as long as they are being experienced. Please read the sample screenshots of Yoga Vasishta from these posts first: Once you understand basics of how reality is constructed by reading the above mentioned posts, you'll understand that any reality is seen only within some mind(Jiva - Individuated atomic living entity). Just like dream world is seen within the dreamer's mind. Just as Imagination is seen within the mind of the one imagining it. There is no possibility of projecting any reality outside of a mind. Our reality is also one such reality projecting within some mind. That being the case, Every reality is only an imaginary one. Even the mind that projects it is also just a mirage. All of this duality with all its universes/realities within such minds is like a water seen in the mirage(Think of such minds as mirages and water seen in the mirages as the worlds seen in such minds). Both mirage and water seen in it are unreal. They exist without existing. Also if we assume everything is intelligently designed, afaik all "past lives" memories could be imaginary and unrelated to the actual mechanics consciousness shapes itself. I'm not denying reincarnation but I'm just saying it doesn't prove anything. Brahman and intention are incompatible with one another. It is not a personal entity. It is completely impersonal and formless. It is beyond intent and intellectualizing. There is nothing that can be said about it. Upon reaching it, all activity stops. No word or thought or imagination can touch it. It exists without existing. You are one with that Brahman they say.. A mere simple movement ( (metaphorical) which is natural and is a characteristic of Brahman; like movement of air is natural for the wind) in Brahman projects out infinite upon infinite of atomic Jiva(s)(Living entities with mind) into existence. The conscious intelligent design only happens(Not consciously happen in all of them) after the Jiva(s) have come into being within Brahman. Within the minds of those Jiva(s): world, rules and regulations, intelligence, logic all these things appear. These are NOT prior to the minds. For first appeared Primary Jiva(s), as well as secondary Jiva(s) - created within those Primary Jiva(s)'s minds; there is no karma initially. But, after acting as and within the world for some time; memories, tendencies, tastes, behavioral patterns, likes and dislikes, all of these are slowly acquired and they act as a repetitive compulsive cycles after a while, these patterns are what are called as vasanas and samskaras. These are collectively called as karma of that individual. As all the entities have such patterns, you can call it as collective karma of each of such groups. Just as when water flows upon land; creates a river bed by flowing continuously; and not able to change its path but to flow within the same riverbed after a while. Similarly, karma after creating some of it becomes a compulsive pattern, creating more and more which is hard to break. Just like a river without a riverbed disperses itself into all directions and ceases to exist as a river. Similarly, without karma, the individual will dissolve and cease to exist. Such dissolution is called liberation. Further Speculation: "Not all those Jiva(s) projecting such worlds within them are very intelligent. So these primitive, first order Jivas only project some dumb random, abstract, useless, not so sophisticated; not so very conscious reality within themselves. Initially they don't possess any knowledge whatsoever. After their death. After having gone through several cycles of interaction with other jivas through reincarnation in other jiva(s)'s universes as one of the living entities in those universes and having evolved into higher conscious states(through such interaction by natural evolution which happens randomly as well as driven by karma) as human beings or other such entities, they get more knowledge. These Jivas after their death in other Jiva's mental world/universe/realm might project very sophisticated universes within their own mind(Even during the lowly evolved states they may project some unsophisticated universes within themselves in some of the after-life cycles). Such projection may not happen within each after-life cycle; only when a compatible universe is not found for the karma that this jiva currently possesses that this Jiva may create such a projection. Even then it may simply wait in limbo for a compatible universe. Again, these projections either sophisticated or unsophisticated; may not be conscious ones. Just like our dreams are not experienced with lucidity with full consciousness of knowing them to be dreams. Similarly these projections may also happen unconsciously within themselves. Within these projected universes, there will be numerous Jiva(s) either reincarnated from other realities who have qualities which are compatible with this universe, or newly created ones without having had any karma before. These newly created jivas, can be directly human beings, deities, or any other such evolved beings which the jiva projecting the universe has previous knowledge of. These other jivas each further creating a universe within themselves in their after-life periods, with more jivas within them...with the cycle going ad-infinitum". As far as Reincarnation is concerned, since it happens only with-in the mirage like realities/universes, it also is just a type of illusory experiential cycle experienced in them. Although just an illusory experiential cycle, it does exist however as such; driven by karma. We do have strong evidence for that. As I already presented. You need to understand first that, even the universal mind which projects the world as well as the entities incarnate and reincarnate within it, both/all of them are bound by their karma. Although, if more conscious the Jiva becomes, more ability it has - to act with freedom/freewill with less influence from karma. Some Yogis/saints/sages may take the position of such universal mind and project some highly sophisticated realities/universes/realms. Such Universal minds(Jivas(s)) may be with almost absolute freedom(E.g: Krishna in Goloka - Such Jiva(s) are not called as Jiva(s) They are called Bhagawan-Supreme Gods and goddesses for those who worship them). The Abodes/Realities/Universes/Worlds/Heavens what ever you want to call it; created by such Bhagawan/God like entities who have attained very highly unimaginable levels of consciousness/awareness are the worlds where suffering and reincarnation doesn't exist. Whether these worlds exist eternally or not I don't know. It may be a possibility, but I'm not sure. There may be infinite such worlds with varying degrees of sophistication. Depending upon the consciousness prevailing in any reality, reincarnation may or may not be a fact in that reality. May be even in our own realities, not every one reincarnate. I don't know how it works. What I do know is: Karma is what drives reincarnation or any other experience as an individuated entity. Having understood all of this clearly. Keeping the example of Gaudiya Vaishnava tradition in mind. If we think about each of the models you have presented, Even though you have presented them as if each of your models encompass all of absolute existence. Still it is possible to reduce them into different possible realities and it is easily possible that each of those models of reality may be truly be experienced in some of those universes/realities in some of those minds imagining/creating them. Even if such realities doesn't exist anywhere now, they can still be created by imagining them in a certain state of mind, either through Meditation(like mentioned in Yoga Vasishta) or even after Physical Death by keeping on intensely imagining them again and again in your living time now. So, scriptures say that In what ever state of mind you leave your body, during death, that state you'll attain without fail. This is just like how we dream at night about those things which we intensely contemplated in our waking state. Also, you'll only experience those realities and experiences, about which you have knowledge of or atleast related to your mental and karmic structure as a natural progression of your karma. Absolutely random experiences may be a very rare phenomenon. What I meant is if everything is created before merging together or if nothing splits itself until it finds itself again Not necessary for all of creations to merge before other cycle of creations emerge. Infinite creations are keeping on emerging and dissolving infinitely in infinite minds simultaneously. This cycle never stops. Such is the nature of Brahman - Just like breathing is the nature of a human being. Having said that, this is only from the view given in the book:Yoga Vasishta. But, this also depends on your beliefs and world view. Remember: that you only experience what your mental structure believes and allows. The video posted above of Rupert Spira has somewhat a good explanation. For this very reason some people may remember some other people's experiences & memories as their own(As one can read somewhat similar experiences in Yoga Vasishta). But, he seems to assume all the individuated entities as loosely bound with loose covering. But, It is only true for certain individuals in certain states of karma and for certain periods and types of disembodiment. After death, it seems; generally the individuated entities are tightly bound with remaining 4 layers(more like aspects than layers) of coverings mostly intact which I have mentioned in my previous posts. Because of this, these entities acquiring the karmas and memories of other's may be rare. The obscure thing to me is what happens after the state of oneness and how would you know that. If it's empty/void awareness, or non-individualized infinite creation. In the first case, form = fear, duality directly yields the illusion of ego. In the latter case, form =/= fear, ego is not necessary to the awareness of anything. We also need to know if we can split ourselves again or not. May be we need to experience Non-Dual enlightenment to understand this. "Ramakrishna Paramahamsa" has said that merging into brahman is like a salt doll walking into the ocean. After merging with the ocean there is no coming back. Seems like all non dual scriptures say the same thing. I haven't studied all of them though. May be those who suffer too much choose to dissolve when such an opportunity presents itself. Whereas, those who improve more and more through their effort gain new heights of awareness and consciousness creating their own realities and living in it with full bliss eternally(? - I'm not sure). Sadhguru says in his book that there is no need to keep extending the individuation as every kind of universe has same fundamental structures. But, I don't agree with it. If it has no value; then, why are others creating such realities and keeping their individuation. He himself admitted that he doesn't have much scriptural knowledge. Maybe, too much confidence in one's own ability without proper theoretical knowledge may create such illusions. Also, as I mentioned already, you can only experience those experiences you believe and have knowledge about. Interestingly in the Gaudiya vaishnava tradition, although some of them say that such merging is a permanent suicide. Others say that even attaining liberation through merging with brahman is useless because it is only temporary and after a while they again fall down from that position. May be in this situation is where Rupert Spira's explanation may make sense, because during merging with Brahman there are no coverings and all those layers are completely dismantled. So the memories, tendencies and karma of all the merged individuals remain in the reservoir of Brahman and some of the newly created entities in the universes are created with the template of combination of already existing karmas and experiences from the Brahman reservoir and their individual constitution is made in such a way, that each of those newly created individuals are perfectly compatible with the universal mind which is imagining them according to its karma, For those individuals where such combination is not immediately available, maybe only they are created freshly without any karma. Maybe because the newly created individuals in this manner are not entirely uniquely their own selves as they previously were, it is for this reason that it may have been said that: once merged, its finished. It may also be possible that some or all of these merged entities when there is a compatible universe exists, each of these entire entities is brought back with the same configuration. And as such experience themselves as same persons they were before in one of their previous incarnations. The above cases makes sense because it is said that by doing samyama any information can be retrieved that one wishes to retrieve. It would only be possible if all the information is stored permanently somewhere. It is also possible that only information is permanent and not the individuals themselves with all their karmic configurations. Above all, it is also highly possible that each of these cases is possible in some versions of cultural realities whose cultures imagine realities in such different manners mentioned above. Absolutely anything seems to be possible(Both Possibility as well as Impossibility). In order to get proper understanding of reality, you have to read both of these books completely: (Even then you may not understand everything, But will definitely improve your knowledge) Please read this book(Yoga Vasishta) without skipping anything: https://estudantedavedanta.net/The-Supreme-Yoga-Swami-Venkatesananda.pdf Death - An Inside Story: A book for all those who shall die Book by Sadhguru: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Death_An_Inside_Story/ydzQDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover

Even the author there said he was in heavenly stages, Bliss and he fell into the void to finalize his awakening. Running away from bliss into nothingness what curious creatures we are.

I hope I'm not getting affected in long term. I already forgot but I saw, and it's going to appear again. I hope Leo or the experience people here could help me. I'm not scared to do it again 1000 times because nothing could be worse, and maybe, next time I could see any life, anything in that horrible void. I'm criying because I can't escape. My mind is telling: don't worry, sure it's normal and if you go further you will see the bliss...but I saw the last last nothing, empty, and was dead, was ....only nothing....like sad, no escape, can't explain

@Stakres "Areas you want to work on", and your milestones sounds way too serious and heavy in my opinion. Lighten it up, make it fun with no end goal or objective. Start small, really small. Look up an old song you love but haven't heard in years, or an old web comic. Buy a treat at the grocery store you wouldn't think to buy for yourself. That sort of thing, get creative and got by the feeling of what really lights you up. What's crazy is watching how the way to the big stuff unravels and becomes clear from the smallest things. What matters is that you follow your heart and follow your bliss. Discounting the little stuff in life is a way we sneakily discount our very selves.

It's counter-intuitive: the chasing of bliss is the very thing which prevents it. Bliss is a consequence of fully facing one's fear and not needing to manipulate your experience. It's problematic to be doing psychedelics with the expectation of bliss. I would drop that expectation and instead aim for Truth and understanding. Bliss is the fruit off the tree of understanding. Focus on watering the roots of your tree rather than jumping like a thirsty monkey at the unripened green fruits.

@Leo Gura I thought was that after shot in the face you experience the other side: total bliss. So I concluded to better get over the nasty part as quickly as possible and the enjoy the bliss part. But yeah slow and steady wins the race is another approach I try with 5 meo. I am still on low dose 5 meo and 2 mg plugging (with boofing technique) is already challenging. I want to make a break and work on myself and then I want to come back. I am low vibration now because of a breakup. The dose on 5 meo I can master is my spiritualy benchmark. I only will raise if I experience bliss on the dose before.

I did scientific tests bro. Repeated tested and observed. Consistent. With one batch I tried it 5 times in a row and felt disphoric, twisted and confusing. Had to sit down and breath when my head started to seriously spin after. With the batch I have now...it's just pure Bliss every time. Noticable difference. I'm not saying all batches will be different...but mate it's just chemistry, each batch will not be 100% the same as each other. I'm just saying that different batches of 5meo have different effects. One easy way to tell if the batch is pure (if purity is indeed what the problem is) is that pure 5meo will cause something like a full body orgasm. Many do not experience this whatsoever Simply put, there is such a thing as shit 5meo that causes disphoria, as opposed to euphoria consistently Which is, in my opinion, an extremely important piece if information for someone who seems to be struggling with their 5meo to the point where it's unreasonable. This is very important to note for newbies. There is good 5meo and there is bad 5meo. My stuff was labeled, tested and reviewed. For someone like obeler, he could have shit 5meo. My research shows its extremely possible, and actually likely...if bought...online... And this one piece if information could be the difference between someone giving you on 5meo or not. And considering 5meo is one of the most powerful tool we have, if not the most important, it makes this one observation quite an important one?? peace and love to you friend @Corpus♥️