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I just want someone to put me out of this misery. I finally understand suicide lol. It's not that people want to die, it's that they want there old way of living to die. They want to find a way of living that feels good. That's the point of suicide, and the negative experience in genreral, it provides contrast/context from which to choose the next experience.

@Emerald @Serotoninluv@Apparition of Jack Look at the global situation. The developed countries (though they are not actually developed) have extreme wealth inequality, corruption, homelessness, health care (people die of illnesses because they can't afford it), 8-5 low salary jobs, depression, mass murder and self-murder (suicide) suffering or problems. The developing countries (though every country is actually developing), also have those problems (but to a more serious level) except mass murder, but with additional mass starvation and extra judicial murder. What else can be worse than this? Yes, Bernie can shake up the status quo from "above" but it will be certainly very slow, especially on a global scale. AS mentioned in one of my posts, it can take hundreds or thousands of years because societal evolution depends on the "consciousness" of the majority. Are you willing you to be that little girl whose mother recently died because she was forcefully sent home by the hospital because she couldn't afford the hospital bills anymore? Are you willing to be that wage slave who is living paycheck to paycheck but seriously thinking of murdering herself because she has anxiety and depression but can't receive therapy because of she is just one paycheck away from homelessness? Think, be sensitive, and embody their suffering. There are millions of these little girls and wage slaves around the world. Are you saying we should wait for hundreds of years for a significant global change to happen and relieve them of their suffering? The global situation is already and has been for many decades very ugly and unacceptable. It is a very slow, painful death. The world needs to take a gamble. It's sensible to try Trump and Stage Red because immediate change is needed.

@Serotoninluv But everything is situational. What is important now is immediate change, not change from "below' or "above". Look at the global situation. The developed countries (though they are not actually developed) have extreme wealth inequality, homelessness, health care (people die of illnesses because they can't afford it), 8-5 low salary jobs, depression, mass murder and self-murder (suicide) suffering or problems. The developing countries (though every country is actually developing), also have those problems except mass murder, but with additional mass starvation and extra judicial murder. What else can be worse than this? Yes, Bernie can shake up the status quo from "above" but it will be certainly very slow, especially on a global scale. AS mentioned in my most recent thread, it can take hundreds or thousands of years because societal evolution depends on the "consciousness" of the majority. The global situation is very ugly and unacceptable. It is a very slow, painful death. The world needs to take a gamble. It's sensible to try Trump and Stage Red because immediate change is needed.

@fridjonk No I’m 20 years old and my brain isn’t fully developed so Why would I want to risk damaging it? also, the endless use of psychedelics just promotes endless seeking. I’m not saying they can’t be helpful, but if every week someone’s saying “it can go deeper” “I need another trip” when does it end? Absolute peace and happiness is the synonym for realising the absolute. Why would I need to take a psychedelic when I’ve realised the truth of my own being and abide with absolute peace and happiness? to be honest, you know my age and shouldn’t be recommending Psychedelic Drugs to anyone under the age of 25, it’s literally a matter of time before all this drug taking results in some sort of repercussions whether it’s someone completely destroying their mental health, or someone actually dying, I genuinely feel there needs to be some guidelines put in place on this forum. Enlightenment isn’t an experience, psychedelic insights can help you, but without embodiment they won’t allow you to abide as the self. Im not meaning to sound harsh and I know you meant it as a joke, but I literally say someone saying how he almost committed suicide on a trip, then went on to recommend other people take the drug and handcuff themselves, like really? You don’t NEED psychedelics to realise you’re own being! @VeganAwake I’ve come to the realisation maybe we’re more on the same page than we think but just use different words and phrases to point out the exact same thing! it’s THIS! And like you say you’re then free to express THIS however you want, whether that’s with cookies on the couch, or going political, or becoming a teacher, we can express it however we want, but one thing will remain the same no matter what we do. Love.

@Preety_India That's understandable. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just gave all of my insights straight, and very conceivably the reader would most likely have no clue what they've just read. @remember I'll be totally frank with you, I have no idea. I've never killed another human being. I've simply become conscious that somewhere in the deep layers of the male mind, there exists this precise deeply biologically programmed equivalence. It's also related to suicide, for obvious reasons. My best guess would be that a Spiral Dynamics stage Red male certainly would act out in violence or even murder when this is at play in full force.

That made me laugh at first, and just a little afterwards I was like 'oh yes of course!'. I could have thought of this myself, but not actually had the idea to actually implement this. Really good tip honestly, because I've been skipping and putting off many opportunities for heavier psychedelic sessions because I didn't want to do crazy things again. I have a tendency to call people on their phone for help when things get hot lol, which isn't a good idea and have some fears that I could commit suicide

Please post in your pure OCD thread, so ppl know in what context you are talking. Also, this is just a forum. You need face to face help if your are still currently suicidal. Please go to the ER and agree to be admitted this time or call a suicide hotline.

At the right/high dosages, you have no control over the trip. So my guess is that you took lower doses (a good/safe experiment to make when you start with psycs). Other than taking high enough dosages to "brekthough", my only other advice is to be careful if you take rectal 5-meo or lsd, because the come-up is slower than smoked/vaped 5-meo, so there's gonna be a small part of the trip when you'll feel very bad but still have the capacity to move around, so you might commit suicide (this happened to me and I was lucky but it's well documented that some people died from this). So the best advice is to take high doses (not smoked) and lock yourself with a lock with timer and handcuffs to something solid. BUY A LOCK WITH TIMER [like this one] (https://www.amazon.com/Hours-Max-Timing-Lock-Rechargeable/dp/B07G2BBDPM) (set it to 1-2 hours for rectal 5-Meo, 4-5 for LSD/mushrooms) AND LOCK YOURSELF TO IT WITH HANDCUFFS LOCKED TO SOMETHING SOLID.

God wants nothing more than to be a self-realized/enlightened HUMAN BEING. The masculine approach is one of self-annihilation. Let's dissect everything so there will be nothing left of me. Let's commit spiritual suicide! The masculine approach is a disease without the feminine perspective. Before you can transcend the body, the body will ask of you to love it. Completely! Do you know how threatening this is for your ego? Ego thrives by seperating itself from the body. A lack of self-care is pure arrogance. Misplaced arrogance stemming from fear of love. It's like saying to yourself: i'm going to be as ugly as i can by neglecting my fitness, nutrition etc. So the external world doesn't need to reject me. Why should it? I CAN REJECT MYSELF! I will avoid the heartbreak and the fear of rejection by self sabotaging the whole process. This physical perfectionism of course also has the other side of the spectrum by being overly obsessed with the physical. Here you're actually prostituting your body for acknowledgment. You are first to integrate the body. The body IS YOU (before you can ever think of transcending it). You are NOT the owner of the body. This fake ownership makes you treat it like a bag of potatoes you carry with you. YOU ARE YOUR BODY. Communicate with the body as yourself. Not as something external to your ego identity. This fake distinction is actually whats blocking the flow of life force energy by concentrating it around the headspace through contractions. And yes the body is a phenomon of awareness of course. But be careful. Transcending the physical/material is certainly not about neglecting or rejecting.

This is coming from both personal experience and study of trip reports, so what more do you want? When the trip gets too intense you'll have literally no control over it. You can't move so there is no physical risk involved at that point, the only risk is that if you smoked it the effect will be too short, so your bad trip will leave you in a state of psychosis/PTSD for 1-2 weeks approximately. This is why lsd and plugged 5-meo-dmt are better (they last longer, so the bad trip will lead to a nirvana state). The problem with these ROA is that the come-up is slower, so if you're already in a depressive state you risk committing suicide to end the pain of the bad trip (before it's too overwhelming to be able to commit it). So the best advice is to take high doses (not smoked) and lock yourself with a lock with timer and handcuffs to something solid. Anyway it's always better to get a taste of "the dak side/bad trip" with small doses when starting this psychedelic game. The best and safest way to do it is taking a microdose of either LSD, mushrooms or iboga and smoke a microdose of cannabis (together). Sources: https://www.reddit.com/r/speedruntonirvana/wiki/phase3

We need more love and Jesus in this world than judgement. This is a prime example of how good people get shamed and persecuted by their family. No empathy shown. No fucks given. No grace. No mercy toward my pain. Just plain judgement and blame and shame . And shaming me for asking for help. This is exactly what happens right before people commit suicide. They are Shamed for asking help. And after they die people wonder why they didn't reach out before dying

Synchronicity for me is nearly always an affirming kind of experience. Even when the circumstances are dark. As a teenager, I was sitting out in the car after church waiting for the folks to get through shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries. Like always, I turned on the radio to listen to Casey Kasem's Top 40 Countdown. It ran 3 hours every Sunday from 10:00 - 1:00. This particular day Casey Kasem told a story about James Taylor and his writing the song Fire and Rain when he was in rehab for Heroin addiction and his life was just a wreck. For some reason the story just stuck with me. Fast forward about 3-4 years. I feel completely out of control and couldn't keep myself away from alcohol. In a turbulent state of anxiety, I more or less begged to be locked up somewhere. I got my wish. The facility was in a larger city about an hour and a half away. From a small admissions office, I was led into the lockdown area where shoestrings weren't allowed and everyone in this section was more or less on suicide watch. Going through the white big metal locking door made it feel like a prison. A short walk down a hall in this lockdown section with a nurse and we stopped at a nurse's station. I'll never forget the weird feeling I got when I heard the small radio tucked away behind the nurses desk as it was quietly playing James Taylor's - Fire and Rain. So, in a way, this song has always held a special significance for me.

Exactly! But of course Leo never touches about toxic stage Green stuff. The way woman try to make things more “equal” nowadays is extremely naive, not that it’s expected more of them at this stage, but nonetheless that’s the truth. Look at the statistics of suicide, injury and death and you’ll see men being the biggest victims. Women wanna fight sexism and alike yet they keep wearing sexy clothes and stuff to attract, hypocrite devils.

Welp, some replies here have aged terribly. Government basically said they can't do shit and good luck. I too, have been following this virus since early January out of curiosity. Some people were deemed "conspiracy theorists" but their math and numbers made sense and also the trajectory of this virus was unprecedented. When a global behemoth like China essentially commits economic suicide in rush to quarantine, shut down, build hospitals in a week and hastily attempt to control this virus--it is NOT "just a flu". https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/25/health/coronavirus-us.html If we're about to be on the cusp of something very very tragic, so please a reminder: practice self love and keep doing your meditations. We're all one and in this together. I really hope this will go on to better days soon.

@purerogue ,@wavydude The body has access to this higher 'knowledge'. It is God's vehicle. The body can do what it wants, but it has poor embodiment unless it alignes its behaviour with its insights/knowing. @fridjonk Everything is perfect and it doesn't matter what you do also means that it doesn't matter if you help others, live selfishly, or commit suicide. That might indicate that enlightened people should act totally randomly, but there is a guiding principle: If your awakening is total, than you are also aware of Love. And Love chooses to help others rather than to live selfishly or commit suicide. @Nahm Yes, there is no personal you, but that doesn't mean that the body can't decide how much in alignment with Truth it wants to live @Lento Why? @Serotoninluv Because they have a sense of self and are not conscious of Oneness, so they only care about their survival.

I read your post yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't reply. I forgot, to be honest. That's great news that they offered you a job! I understand your not a morning person (me either). You'll have to decide if you want to try or not. I guess it depends how scarce jobs are were you live. I mean, if others are having a hard time too, because of supply and demand. I remember when my son was applying for his first job when he was 16. I kept saying what is the problem? Why is no one calling you? He finally yelled at me and said, "I've been telling you...there's too many ppl looking for a job and I have no experience!!!!". Anyways, we finally helped him get a job at a car dealer as a porter, because we knew the manager, so he gave him a shot. Yes and no, I had worked there twice before years ago, so they knew I did good work and my documentation skills are darn good. So, it was right time, right place, really. But, yes, they still offered it to me, without me asking, which was still surprising. I didn't get a PM from you. Are you having trouble sending it? I will have more time to review it on thursday night, if you can get it to me by then? I know you'd rather be independent, but at least you have them to lean on for now. They won't let you be homeless at least, which was one of your worries. It's not worth it. I'm a suicide survivor and I'm telling you that thought can cause loads of suffering, but you aren't your thoughts. You need to learn to create a gap between you and thought. Have you ever done neti-neti meditation/inquiry. If done right, you see you can't be what you perceive and you can have a break through. It seems your depression is situational, not because you have a mental illness, right? Maybe you could benefit from a bit of counseling ? ❤

To be able to afford experiencing another ego death If you gave away all your money you would, in that way, help other people and then starve to death. But if you use that money to further develop yourself, you will be able to add a lot more value in the future. But if one keeps money which one clearly doesn't need, then I guess that's because enlightenment hasn't been fully integrated and embodied yet. On the argument of everything is perfect and it doesn't matter what you do: That also means that it doesn't matter if you help others, live selfishly, or commit suicide. That might indicate that enlightened people should act totally randomly, but there is a guiding principle: If your awakening is total, than you are also aware of Love. And Love chooses to help others rather than to live selfishly or commit suicide. As I understand it, it's a matter of how deep your awakening and embodiment is and how well you understand the paradox. As long as you eat meat and drive a car that costs more than $4 000 your embodiment is a joke.

Meaning depression and suicidal thoughts can kill without you actually committing suicide? The act. @wavydude

To be clear, I never said ppl with serious mental illnesses can't go off the meds. I said they shouldn't. Big difference. There are plenty of ppl running around off their meds. Some can make a half way decent life for themselves (if disorder is mild), while others are in and out of psych hospitals like a revolving door, attempt suicide or they are hooked on some substance, usually alcohol, to self medicate. The ones that seem to do the best with symptom reduction are compliant with medication and regular follow-up appts with a mental health professional. Along with healthy diet, exercise, etc.

Leo has spent 5 years now making videos on how to overcome the ego's survival mechanisms. Zen monks spend 40 years figuring out how to go meta on their survival. Don't worry, if this dude is a newbie, he will pussy out waaay before he gets close to death hshshahaha. Where you do need to be careful giving advice is suicide - because suicide is actually a survival mechanism, and psychedelics - because once it's down the hatch there's no turning back.

Please reach out if you're considering suicide. ❤️

I would never do it, because there is a way to renounce what you think you are completely that i have discovered. Suicide involves torturing yourself to leave your body, so the effort by itself is very very painful even if you succeed and how do you know really if thats the thing to do?

So i hear alot of things said regarding suicide there’s usually two sides some people say that it wont solve anything because you’ll carry your negative energy with you and you’ll still be miserable.others say pulling the plug would be the best thing that would ever happen to you and you would connect back with the nature of reality so which is it ?

I have been going to Psychoanalyst once a week (50 minutes) since last year's October. I would say it is more potent than meditation. In psychoanalysis we see our repressed emotions, thoughts, memories, urges which we find unpleasant and even scared of. Releasing them and reintegrating decreases our neurosis and heals us. On 10th January I found out my repressed side was my homosexuality I still cant come to terms and still under shock. I contemplate suicide every day. Freud himself said that in psychoanalysis among male patients repressed homosexuality has the greatest resistance. But probably I will accept it over time and reintegrate it and heal. Repressed homosexuality is a very rare thing, so dont worry. All other things are much easier to surrender to. I wish I also had any other repressed thing. Only homosexuality was unacceptable for me. Unfortunately I am not lucky. But you will have normal repressed things and in psychoanalysis you will become free and happy. One year psychoanalysis once a week is much stronger and helpful than one year daily one hour meditation. So go for it. But whatever you have repressed, it will be painful to reintegrate it. So the procedure is unpleasant for everyone.

Okay, so I've sat, introspected and contemplated on this topic trying to figure out how ego can drive one to a suicidal point. And after having tried to bring this case as close to experience as I possibly could through imagination and introspection, I realized that the only thing that would drive me to commit suicide is having to not fulfil my passion and somehow not live my life persuing my objective/will. Through these thoughts and feelings I realized that I would rather die than not explore this world we call reality and not tell stories. At the core of what I think to be my soul is a burning and very powerful desire or vision of exploring every world, every realm, every plane of existence and field of knowledge to the best of my ability, and then come back and share with whomever I can what I'd discovered in a very creative way whenever possible. That's what's driving me to live and endure every shitty moment that gets thrown at me. So I imagine doing anything but that would be driving me to die. Although, all that was still imaginary so in real life I know that what I would actually do is fight for my vision with every breath I had - even my last one. But that's just me. I'm sure there are other things that would drive one to a suicidal point like the feeling of not being loved or something as intense as that. So I guess not doing doing or fulfilling what you've deemed to be your purpose somehow makes the ego disfunctional which then leads to it's own self destruction..? I don't know. All I know is that if I were to have the closest, if not essential, thing to who I am or what defined my life removed - that would drive me insane.. and possibly dead. But all this just makes me wonder whether or not there is a deeper purpose to the ego, or whatever this biological mechanism is ,besides survival. I mean I don't know about every one else but I wouldn't care much about my life if it felt pointless. Not a damn much. So yeah, that's wassup ?