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@Aldo good god slow up. I know dudes that have lived in the ACTUAL hood. I’ve hung out in gang territory. If you ACTUALLY think those guys in gangs are who are fulfilled higher conscious human beings... man... go with me to deep East Oakland here in the Bay Area with me east of 51st and International. Go with me to the Iron Triangle in Richmond in the East Bay. Go with me to Hunters Point here in SF. If you think gang members aren’t attached to their ego... man you’re kidding yourself lol. You’re just kidding yourself. Dont make the mistake of thinking I’m saying everybody in those areas is some criminal, rapist, gang member. That’s not what I’m saying at all. All because people elicit basic human compassion has nothing to do with nonduality and Absolute Love. That’s just having good character and basic common sense and compassion for your fellow person... so long as you don’t violate their agenda too much. This isn’t a matter of debate. The fact that you think that these people are “dying joyfully” just shows how much you don’t understand what these guys have to live through. How afraid they are. How much they live in fear and have to bottle that up for the sake of their survival. These are all mental projections for you. These people who are part of gangs are not happy and they are not fulfilled, much less conscious. I’ve met and have had friends who were ex gang members and ex blud gang members. These people will break down because they’re so happy they escaped. This is utter immaturity if you think these people are like Turquoise blissful enlightened yogis. Which is not to say yogis are not above them in some absolute sense. These hedonist rappers are often insanely miserable because they often just chase titilation. Yeah they make music that has some idealistic talk but that doesn’t mean they truly know of what they run their mouth on. There’s a reason Mac Miller and such people commit suicide. That’s not an accident. These aren’t happy joyful people. The fact that your comparing their life to GTA just shows how foolish this view is.

So I’ve always had this problem of getting obsessed/”in love” with a person and it’s taking up all my attention and energy. Often times it’s also unrequited love which doesn’t make it easier. I know I must have some daddy issues but this reoccuring loop is seriously becoming way too pathetic. I don’t think I can handle this much longer. It’s standing in the way for me to focus wholeheartedly on any other ambition in life. But of course it must be my only true motivation and therefore also something I’m continuing to do more or less on purpose. Obviously I’m getting something out of it even though it’s slowly killing me and many times pushed me near the border of suicide etc. Please help me understand this. I want to focus on enlightenment work but how could I genuinely. I can’t seem to hold it up for a longer period of time. Sooner or later this shit is taking over me again and again no matter what. Another part of me just wanna find the love of my life. And a third part of me is guilt tripping and ridiculing myself because of this ”low consciousness” aspiration. And why the fuck do I keep getting obsessed with guys that doesn’t want me back.

i am still living in this monastery. I must say people here are extremely superstitious and living a primitive style. I have tried to forbade myself from judging others but judgement just comes on its own. Pp here think by reading lectures their disease would be killed without treatment. They even try to drag me into their stupidity. They are trying to get me to drink the water they call "Yellow paper water". They believe drinking such water a lot of Buddhas will watch over them. They see Buddhas as super physical beings who still exist and play a role in their life not realizing Buddhahood is real, Buddha is just a pointer. As for the man who wanted to commit suicide, i am surprised to know he's a somewhat harcore meditator. The more I know him the more I am starting to know what's in his mind. He's an intelligent meditator but has wasted his time choosing the wrong path (I'm really worried for him). A thought has popped up in my mind: We must become financially independent first before we put our effort for enlightement work. If we are poor and enlightened it would be suicidal because when you're enlightened you are likely to just do nothing. Your survival depends on others 2) You can become enlightened and yet remain immature. 3) Good people are more than usual ( I would say 99% ) are good just because they have some kind of ideaology or some sort of moral code has been implanted into their mind since they were children or because they are good because deep down they know that's the only way for them to survive. Most people here choose to live in this monastery because they are unable to make money living outside playing the monetary games humans invented. 4) Truly spiritual people wouldn't want to follow the herd lol. I've realized it just by observing the above-mentioned man. He just flows with existence without caring much about the stances others conform to when we all pray together. 5) Enlightened people are not accepted by the masses ( this could be just my assumption) . I notice it in that man. The man just keeps getting reminded by others to follow what the rest does even though he doesn't really care or get annoyed by any criticism.

Ok, that makes perfect sense and that's exactly where I am at. I am deep in the dark night of the soul just now and I keep getting this idea that Shaun's point of view and experience is the only experience there is and it is scaring me, but I hope that part is just delusion or the ego trying to take ownership of the true I. I am terrified of reality, Leo and I don't know where to turn. There's literally nowhere to go, suicide is no escape and I don't know what to do. I am absolutely trapped.

Chapter 275 The implementation part of my spiritual journey begins. Here I will practice all the techniques and concepts I learned so far and record my progress. The conceptual part of my journey is over. I will also develop new techniques and refine existing ones. Finally I lifted off a huge burden off myself and all the toiling for a full year was worth it. This is a difficult path but I'm sure through all the frustrations and shrugs and the struggles I will get ample opportunities to smile and laugh and empty out the negativity in me. I'm now growing to be a better person, a more fruitful, productive and spiritual person. My journey in real life and through this journal has been filled with both struggle and fascination. I have seen everything and known everything and all of that at a pretty young age like an old soul in a young body I have known enough. Life has never been kind to me, but I should let that go. There is always be a better tomorrow as long as there is hope. What I came to know is that this human experience is filled with a lot of struggle, and pain and hardships and drama. This is called living and it will always be this way unfortunately. But I had to find my way out because I was about to kill myself. So a year ago when I knew that if things went really down south, I knew that I wouldn't be a stranger to suicide. I have tried that road many times and I have come back from it, there was always a vestige of hope but it didn't help much. I have somehow dragged through the suicidal period of my life. So a year ago, I knew in my mind that either I had to do something urgently to fix the situation or just give up completely and die. That's when I thought I had to bring a change in the way I looked at everything. I needed a reprieve. I was a mess, a terrible mess, and a terribly chaotic person. My childhood scars had left me deranged and looking for a direction in life. That's when I had the feeling that only spirituality could save my life. This journey started a year ago in February last year. That's when I started recording every day of my life and my thoughts to get a better understanding of what I needed to do on my spiritual path. I knew I needed a spiritual framework or a backbone to start working with because I was very fuzzy about spirituality, it was all scattered in my mind and I had no idea where to begin and how to bring it all together A year ago, if I had to ask myself, what is spirituality, my answer would have been, spirituality is spirituality, that's it.. Just a blank canvas. I had the worst nagging curiousity and I pledged myself that no matter what, no matter whatever the effort, I will dig this out. I will go deeper and deeper and think whatever I can and fish out whatever that makes sense and put it all together and weave it. Slowly and slowly, one day at a time, one hour at a time, I kept going with persistence and kept going and creating my own fantasies and concepts and binding them together. Eventually a pattern arose. Initially it was all scattered dots and I didn't know what to do. I was very frustrated with my own mind. Gradually with my persistence, I slowly began to join one dot to another and a pattern arose. It began to make sense after a while. Everything was making sense one day at a time.. I knew that I was close to the finishing line but the finishing touches were missing and still far away from my grip. So I had to wait. And wait I did. Then in October, I had it. I was coming to it.. Eventually over the past few months, the picture became stronger My dedication didn't fail even for a day. And finally I have it. I have it done what I had set out to do a year ago at this time. Now that it's in place, I can move on further bit by bit just like I did before Now I'm a free bird. I found my life savior in spirituality. It will be my sacred corner I will turn to every time something goes wrong in my life. It is something I can cling to. I needed the last straw. I can honestly say that I won't have to feel suicidal anymore because now I have some hope after all. I guess that's why spirituality exists. To give hope. To bring hope to those who are tired of life and this world and of people and drama, to give them a breather, a refuge, a shrine and a place of mental peace where nobody can hurt you anymore. It's a place to escape to when life is going down the gutter. Well of course it's better than drugs and suicide and self harm. It's much healthy and a way to heal away from all the chaos of the world around you. I wish I could afford a rehab. But I can't. So my spirituality is my rehab. I tried many ways to distract myself from all the abuse I went through and all the chaos, video games, food, music, over working, dating sites, trolling, constant shopping, crying, self harm,... But no use. It only makes my health worse and gets me even more depressed. So I figured out that my escape has to be a healthy one where I recover positively and I am able to get away from the emotional abuse and mess. The only thing I didn't try was alcohol and drugs because it's kinda illegal here. But now there is much more hope, thanks to all the effort I put in through this last year, despite my depression I was determined that I need to find that positive corner which will not be just a distraction that helps me get by through the day but also something that will be like a life purpose which will make my life purposeful and give meaning to it and inspire me everyday to live better and be better and lift me out of the depression.. Yesterday I was contemplating suicide again and I cried many many hours, feeling empty and hopeless. But after an hour this cup concept popped in my head I hurriedly wrote it down here. After that I felt better. I get bored very easily. Probably signs of some sort of borderline personality issues. I don't know. I think it's my hyper need for Stimulation. But anyway, I'm not going to waste my life diagnosing a new mental issue with myself every day. So yes distraction for me can only last so long. And I have an insatiable appetite for living a purposeful life. So yes. I need to make that happen or else I will spend my old age in regret. Yea I can be bipolar sometimes. But it's all okay. With a fucked up childhood, mental health issues are no surprise. But hopefully i have finally found a way to deal with my depression and emptiness and a lack of purpose and meaning. This I can put into practice from now on. And this will be my new life I have turned over to a new leaf. And it feels better. The chaos inside my mind has begun to settle. I'm finding peace. Finally and hopefully I can now move on and have a beautiful direction in life.. Yay.....its a new beginning. Amen....

@Mikael89 I've been to my doctor already. I have an appointment on the 29th to be assessed by a mental health team. I've been before. I've tried 2 medications. They were both horrendous, in terms of side effects and also messed with my mind. I'm not wasting my time with that any more. I'm not going into a hospital. I swear if they try and take me into somewhere like that then I'll be gone before you know it. I REALLY don't understand how you can't find non-existence depressing. It's truly absurd. I was baptised a Christian just after I was born. But I've never really believed. But how much more wonderful would Christianity be if were true? That we are all INDIVIDUAL souls. All INDIVIDUAL beings. Here together. Individual souls. You interact with different souls. All of creating ourselves, who we want to be. With free will. Then we live on, for eternity with one another, maybe just in different surroundings. PEOPLE, as INDIVIDUALS, not nothing as nothing playing with itself. Not just ONE thing fucking with itself. And well, if I am that thing, then my thoughts and everything must be ME. Thus, I don't like 'ME', and I'm ashamed that I invented a thing called an ego. It's sick. I'm selfish, clearly. It's all about me me me. One thing. Why can't I manifest something less complicated? It's absurd. Absolutely absurd. @Jkris There you go again. I mean, don't get me wrong, I bloody appreciate you taking the time to write on here to me. But you've jsut said it yourself. I don't exist. Neither do you. So why are you addressing me on here? Why does anyone care if someone commits suicide? When ultimately, it makes ZERO difference to anything as I don't exist. Whatever I am, or whatever this is, I have this weird urge, coming from somewhere to just end this. See what happens afterwards. I don't think anyone really knows. What I don't understand is, pretty much every single NDE, people have talked about meeting other entities, even God or Jesus etc. Who knows. Fed up. Tired. Head is a shed. Don't fear death anymore. I want out. Whatever I am, I can't be bothered anymore. Nothing matters.

@Paul92 Pls help yourself and try to read carefully and contemplate. Hey Paul you are repeating like a parrot again and again Paul don't exist Paul don't exist ? Who is this Paul ? Your memories about your body mind's life.Are you just thoughts,memories a mere physical body that exists ? Do Paul exist in deep sleep ? Who are you with out your memories ? Nope you are part of the Infinite the entire universe like a drop in an ocean.can the drop is considered as a separate drop or it is the whole ocean. Words can be misleading In Nondual sense there is only one existence.when they You don't exist means the physical sense of seperatedness or I feeling doesn't exist.And relatively that which is ever present is the only one that exists rest all created have begining and an end meaning the body mind will die not the real YOU.That which dont have permanant existance is a mithya - Not real.The body mind will relatively exist till the physical death. So nothing will change after enlightenment except the I feeling will vanish. Your life will be the same but peaceful and you cannot escape the duality till the physical death of your body. Enlightenment is not nihilism.Nobody is asking to believe your mental imagination of purposeless Ness and meaninglessly worry about mental imagination of purposeless Ness. Life will be more conscious more acceptance peaceful blissful and content after enlightenment. I said previously if you don't find purpose in life create one.Life is duality knowing reality is Infinite non dual. You will play the life as usual knowing you are not the body mind and the character Paul. Enlightenment will not solve your money,physical health or other problems which you will face in the life. No enlightened master commited suicide after realising truth.All wanted to spread the message and make people realize truth and reduce the suffering of humanity as much as possible. Even if you commit suicide you will take re birth and suffer miserably.So why not give a try to realize truth this birth itself ? Nothing more to say.

@Paul92 Excellent brilliant the non existing Mr.Paul is taking the non existing Leo's words as absolute truth and trying hard to commit suicide ??? Paul dear since you don't exist I who think I exist request you to transfer all your money,house,assets etc to me who exist before you really do something cowardly and stupid to harm or die yourself which doesn't exist ??? .I who exist will be greatly thankful for that ??? Dear Mr. "Non existing" Paul pls share your existing parents phone nos so that the "existing" moderators can contact them and tell about the mental condition of "non existing paul" ??? Hopefully the non existing Mr.Paul will be admitted in a physchiatric hospital and given some electric shocks by the dr's to bring him back to senses if he is adamantly holding on to some very wrong understanding of Advaitha,life and keep believing his stupid mind's imagination of self harm,harming others and suicide. Mr.Paul You exist and you need serious medical attention and counseling.Dont trust your mind.leave it to the professional s.

Suicide is hard man, call suicide prevention hotline for temporary relief. I am in the same shoe as you, don't know who the fuck am I and others around me, meditation and self inquiry scares the shit out of me now.

let us say i have done a 3 dayes solo retreats and then my next solo retreat i just go straight for a 30 days solo retreat, with using pure self discipline. I just ignore my emotions and my monkey mind and keep going. Will this lead to a really strong ego backlash so strong ego backlash, that it will just knock me right off my spirtual journey permanently? Or will i just become so depressed that i will considere suicide? Do self discipline have limits or can i push it endless? Maybe i should try this out and see what happens. Maybe i will just go from 3 days solo retreat to 30 days and see how far i can push it.

So I said I was going away. I didn't think I could feel any worse, but I do. I've spent a lot of time investigating DMT experiences etc over the last couple of days. It's clear that many thousands of people think that the world isn't what it seems. Does Paul exist? In spirit form? I don't think so. I don't know for sure, but it's unlikely. This whole nonduality thing has totally destroyed my life. I've not had an experience of it, but i don't know if I want it either. The thing is, when I read about DMT trips, people come back and still refer to themselves and others. Doesn't this go against everything said here? Leo is quite clear: you do not exist. So why do anything? Why shouldn't I kill myself? Believe me, I want to end it so bad. I'm not scared of dying anymore, and I'm not scared of hurting others. In truth, they probably don't exist anyway. Each day I wake up it gets harder and harder. I don't see any point in carrying on. I've googled all the possible ways of suicide. I don't want to jump off a bridge. I've set up a makeshift noose hanging from a beam in my loft, but that doesn't feel right. I tried to cut my wrists, then I fell asleep, but I woke up and the bleeding.had stopped. I can't get my hands on pills to take. Truth is, killing yourself ain't easy, even when you've no desire to be here anymore. It's the strangest thing. I tried meditating today using Leo's do nothing method. I just let go and ended up falling to sleep. I had an horrific dream and woke up drenched in sweat. No appetite. No energy. Fuzzy head. Lost all hope. Reality isn't reality. And for whatever people will say here, "get help, see a professional" - it's not going to fix anything. In truth, if you're all adhering to nonduality, it makes no difference if I jack it in or not. So what are we doing here? I just read a post about sympathy on the other section. Why would we give sympathy to others if they don't exist? Everything you say here is probably right. But it makes everything pointless. Utterly pointless. If anyone has any ingenious tips on suicide or anything, please PM me. Anything that can help. Either dying or getting out of this. Shit I'd try dmt or something, but in the UK I've no idea how to source it.

Lol, she was on the brink of suicide and suffered for YEARS! You are dismissing all that "work". Yes, if you drive yourself nuts to the brink of suicide and then finally the ego happens to collapse by some fluke instead of you actually killing yourself, the brain can then rewire itself. But it wasn't really quick. It was a process years in the making. It's like an explosion that was building up for years, and then one day it all burst. And even so, these kinds of cases are extremely rare. They might as well not exist. This is not a reliable strategy for awakening. You make an interesting point. But I still think there is a physiological component to spiritual giftedness. It's just damn rare. How do you explain that many of the most awakened people experienced their awakenings very early in life, often when they are 12 years old, 18 years old, etc. How do you explain people who do one meditation retreat or self-inquire for a few weeks and become enlightened? That is extremely rare and atypical. An average person cannot do that. Otherwise a large percentage of the population would be enlightened, but they just aren't and can't. More broadly-speaking, how do you explain that less than 0.00001% of humans wake up? This cannot be explained simply by lack of effort. Even within people who do hardcore spiritual practice, STILL, less than 1% deeply awaken. Again, this is not merely due to lack of effort. There is a deep connection between one's effort in this work and one's spiritual intuition. Why are some people much more spiritually attuned than others? Why are some people totally spiritually clueless? Lack of effort is not enough to explain it because one's willingness to exert effort is directly proportional to one's initial spiritual attunement. So my claim is that the people who wake up are the ones who start out in life already highly spiritually attuned. Poor upbringing and environment can obscure this attunement, requiring some decades of life experience for the person to realize that they even have this spiritual attunement. The problem with spiritual attunement is that most people who have it take it completely for granted. They don't know what life is like without it because they've always had it, and they assume everyone else has it too. But most people don't. It's sort of like having a very high IQ or being very tall. You don't even realize that most people are not that way. For example, I am 6'2". It took me 30 years to realize that not everyone is that tall. To me, being tall feels totally normal. I don't even know what it means to be short. It took me 30 years to realize that the world is designed for short people: hotel showers, all chairs and sofas and benches, airplane seats, sinks, toilets, urinals, jackets, pants, cars, etc. I can't sit comfortably on most chairs because they are designed for short people and I only realized that a few years ago! I didn't realize it because I assumed that all people are the same.

@Paul92 This wasn't a goodbye post. This was a, "Here's all my questions and problems I don't understand. Thanks but no thanks, fuck you." type of post. This was a "let me diss several people in the spiritual community on my way out" post. I think that is unfortunate, considering that many here have talked you out of suicide and been nothing but nice to you, but anyways, later bro... I really do hope you find what you're looking for. Godspeed.

Your tax dollars go to funding a stage Orange education system which leads to the indoctrination and suicide of many teens every year.

We can never really die because consciousness is eternal. Fair enough. But why assume suicide wouldn't be an effective escape just because you would transition into something else thus not solving anything? This seems to imply there is some type of system, reincarnation or otherwise which makes it impossible to give up the easy way. Since god has infinite possibilities, transcendent of all laws and logic, you should be able to make the choice to completely unmanifest and "delete" yourself such that you go into the non experience of the atheists view of post death. That doesn't seem possible from our present understanding because there is nothing independent of consciousness but hey god can do anything it wants right?

Where your toughts appear that space you indentified as "me". When this is "center of selfishness" is gone you become this empty space where phenomena are rising including toughts. Utter peace but devoid of all human motivations you previously indentified. Enlightenment is psychological suicide in a sense.

I don't think we have free will. But people commit suicide. So God is killing itself? Hmm.

@Serotoninluv Doesn't this tell you that, perhaps, ego death is not a natural state? I've been to my doctor this morning. He phoned a suicide referral helpline who are supposed to be getting in touch with me at some point today. And he's given me some more tablets (yay).

Hi everyone i'm new. I am temporarily in the Buddhism monastery. It's like It was founded by a rich master. I come here to have a few insights about them. They are like a family monastery. People here are good human beings. There's no question about it. But they live a quite primitive lifestyle. For ex: spitting around ( including the master) . I can't blame them though because my country does not ban this act. I am from Vietnam. But I still have disdain for such acts. Their toilet and washing rooms are dirty and stingy but they don't allow me to wear shoes in those rooms. The shower in the male washing room is out of order so i can't wash my hair. A joint washing room that i almost could not find space to put my clothes. People are a little bit irresponsible in this case. They should have put their clothes in the washing machine when they are out. It's a little bit annoying. I feel like people here don't have any sense of hygienic standard at all. And they have me live in a room that only has a sleeping mat without a bed. The first day i could not sleep and almost wanted to leave but decided to carry on. My back still is not used to it yet . Interestingly I met a man whose left arm is severely wounded. His right hand is a bit wounded too. Later i founded his legs are wounded too. It became suspicious to me from the beginning that he did it himself. Since our ages are the same we talked and got along quite well. I asked him directly about his wounds and he admitted he did it himself in order to bleed to death. I asked him why and he said he's too tired of life and does not at all want to be part of the chain others have founded. He feels like he's a redundant person and not creating anything new for the world. I kinda understood what he meant. This man kinda wants to be an inventor or scientist who discovers something new but he's just not good enough. He tells me more about his personal life and my projection was confirmed. He's a kind and quite articulate man. I wanted to tell him that only 1 in a million can become a scientist or inventor or discover sth new. The rest just focuses on joining the already created working chain to make a living but decided to keep my mouth shut. His family has him in this monastery hoping he can decide his life ( continuing to live outside or become a Buddist). Honestly I think it's difficult for a man with his character to work as an employee in a company. He's not good salesman i am sure. If anyone tells me they want to commit suicide i will think they are weak souls but about this man i cannot. He's actually brave to cause such injuries for himself. Even his friend ( a martial artist said he would not have guts to). A few questions come to my mind: Should we have enough compassion to help someone die peacefully when they actually no longer want to live because for such people living longer just makes them suffer more. You have to be sentitive enough to see the suffering inside the man i met. He definitely tried but chose the wrong path to follow and he's just not good enough. About the monastery: It helps! Even after some uncomfortable things i still feel it helps. I am a bit fatter. I feel more energetic. People here are kindhearted but dogmatic. I will live here until April 22th or 23rd.

Taken from a website What Is Stoicism? A Definition & 9 Stoic Exercises To Get You Started For those of us who live our lives in the real world, there is one branch of philosophy created just for us: Stoicism. Get Your Free DAILY STOIC Starter Pack Get ItIncludes an introduction to Stoicism, best books to start with, Stoic exercises and much more! A brief synopsis and definition on this particular school of Hellenistic philosophy: Stoicism was founded in Athens by Zeno of Citium in the early 3rd century BC, but was famously practiced by the likes of Epictetus, Seneca and Marcus Aurelius. The philosophy asserts that virtue (such as wisdom) is happiness and judgment should be based on behavior, rather than words. That we don’t control and cannot rely on external events, only ourselves and our responses. Stoicism has just a few central teachings. It sets out to remind us of how unpredictable the world can be. How brief our moment of life is. How to be steadfast, and strong, and in control of yourself. And finally, that the source of our dissatisfaction lies in our impulsive dependency on our reflexive senses rather than logic. Stoicism doesn’t concern itself with complicated theories about the world, but with helping us overcome destructive emotions and act on what can be acted upon. It’s built for action, not endless debate. It had three principal leaders. Marcus Aurelius, the emperor of the Roman Empire, the most powerful man on earth, sat down each day to write himself notesabout restraint, compassion and humility. Epictetus endured the horrors of slavery to found his own school where he taught many of Rome’s greatest minds. Seneca, when Nero turned on him and demanded his suicide, could think only of comforting his wife and friends. But it is not only those three—Stoicism has been practiced by kings, presidents, artists, writers and entrepreneurs. Both historical and modern men illustrate Stoicism as a way of life. Prussian King, Frederick the Great, was said to ride with the works of the Stoics in his saddlebags because they could, in his words, “sustain you in misfortune”. Meanwhile, Montaigne, the politician and essayist, had a line from Epictetus carved into the beam above the study in which he spent most of his time. The founding fathers were also inspired by the philosophy. George Washington was introduced to Stoicism by his neighbors at age seventeen, and afterwards, put on a play about Cato to inspire his men in that dark winter at Valley Forge. Whereas Thomas Jefferson had a copy of Seneca on his nightstand when he died. The economist Adam Smith’s theories on the interconnectedness of the world—capitalism—were significantly influenced by the Stoicism that he studied as a schoolboy, under a teacher who had translated Marcus Aurelius’ works. The political thinker, John Stuart Mill, wrote of Marcus Aurelius and Stoicism in his famous treatise On Liberty, calling it “the highest ethical product of the ancient mind.” Stoicism differs from most existing schools in one important sense: its purpose is practical application. It is not a purely intellectual enterprise. It’s a tool that we can use to become better in our craft, better friends and better people. It’s easy to gloss over the fact that Marcus Aurelius was the Roman Emperor without truly absorbing the gravity of that position. Emperors were Deities, ordinary men with direct access to unlimited wealth and adulation. Before you jump to the conclusion that the Stoics were dour and sad men, ask yourself, if you were a dictator, what would your diary look like? Stoic writing is much closer to a yoga session or a pre-game warm up than to a book of philosophy a university professor might write. It’s preparation for the philosophic life where the right state of mind is the most critical part. Stoics practiced what are known as “spiritual exercises” and drew upon them for strength. Let’s look at nine of the most important such exercises. Get Your Free DAILY STOIC Starter Pack Get ItIncludes an introduction to Stoicism, best books to start with, Stoic exercises and much more! 1.Practice Misfortune “It is in times of security that the spirit should be preparing itself for difficult times; while fortune is bestowing favors on it is then is the time for it to be strengthened against her rebuffs.” -Seneca Seneca, who enjoyed great wealth as the adviser of Nero, suggested that we ought to set aside a certain number of days each month to practice poverty. Take a little food, wear your worst clothes, get away from the comfort of your home and bed. Put yourself face to face with want, he said, you’ll ask yourself “Is this what I used to dread?” It’s important to remember that this is an exercise and not a rhetorical device. He doesn’t mean “think about” misfortune, he means live it. Comfort is the worst kind of slavery because you’re always afraid that something or someone will take it away. But if you can not just anticipate but practice misfortune, then chance loses its ability to disrupt your life. Montaigne was fond of an ancient drinking game where the members took turns holding up a painting of a corpse inside a coffin and cheered “Drink and be merry for when you’re dead you will look like this.” Emotions like anxiety and fear have their roots in uncertainty and rarely in experience. Anyone who has made a big bet on themselves knows how much energy both states can consume. The solution is to do something about that ignorance. Make yourself familiar with the things, the worst-case scenarios, that you’re afraid of. Practice what you fear, whether a simulation in your mind or in real life. The downside is almost always reversible or transient. 2.Train Perception to Avoid Good and Bad “Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.” -Marcus Aurelius The Stoics had an exercise called Turning the Obstacle Upside Down. What they meant to do was make it impossible to not practice the art of philosophy. Because if you can properly turn a problem upside down, every “bad” becomes a new source of good. Suppose for a second that you are trying to help someone and they respond by being surly or unwilling to cooperate. Instead of making your life more difficult, the exercise says, they’re actually directing you towards new virtues; for example, patience or understanding. Or, the death of someone close to you; a chance to show fortitude. Marcus Aurelius described it like this: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” It should sound familiar because it is the same thinking behind Obama’s “teachable moments.” Right before the election, Joe Klein asked Obama how he’d made his decision to respond to the Reverend Wright scandal. He said something like‘when the story broke I realized the best thing to do wasn’t damage control, it was to speak to Americans like adults.’ And what he ended up doing was turning a negative situation into the perfect platform for his landmark speech about race. The common refrain about entrepreneurs is that they take advantage of, even create, opportunities. To the Stoic, everything is opportunity. The Reverend Wright scandal, a frustrating case where your help goes unappreciated, the death of a loved one, none of those are “opportunities” in the normal sense of the word. In fact, they are the opposite. They are obstacles. What a Stoic does is turn every obstacle into an opportunity. There is no good or bad to the practicing Stoic. There is only perception. You control perception. You can choose to extrapolate past your first impression (‘X happened.’ –> ‘X happened and now my life is over.’). If you tie your first response to dispassion, you’ll find that everything is simply an opportunity. Note: This exercise served as the inspiration behind The Obstacle Is The Way. 3.Remember—It’s All Ephemeral “Alexander the Great and his mule driver both died and the same thing happened to both.” -Marcus Aurelius Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself a simple and effective reminder to help him regain perspective and stay balanced: “Run down the list of those who felt intense anger at something: the most famous, the most unfortunate, the most hated, the most whatever: Where is all that now? Smoke, dust, legend…or not even a legend. Think of all the examples. And how trivial the things we want so passionately are.” It is important to note that ‘passion’ here isn’t the modern usage we’re familiar with as in enthusiasm or caring about something. As Don Robertson explains in his book, when the Stoics discuss overcoming ‘passions’, which they called patheiai, they refer to the irrational, unhealthy and excessive desires and emotions. Anger would be a good example. What is important to remember, and this is the crucial bit, they seek to replace them with eupatheiai, such as joy instead of excessive pleasure. Returning to the point of the exercise, it’s simple: remember how small you are. For that matter, remember how small most everything is. Remember that achievements can be ephemeral, and that your possession of them is for just an instant. If everything is ephemeral, what does matter? Right now matters. Being a good person and doing the right thing right now, that’s what matters and that’s what was important to the Stoics. Take Alexander the Great who conquered the known world and had cities named in his honor. This is common knowledge. The Stoics would also point out that, once while drunk, Alexander got into a fight with his dearest friend, Cleitus, and accidentally killed him. Afterward, he was so despondent that he couldn’t eat or drink for three days. Sophists were called from all over Greece to see what they could do about his grief, to no avail. Is this the mark of a successful life? From a personal standpoint, it matters little if your name is emblazoned on a map if you lose perspective and hurt those around you. Learn from Alexander’s mistake. Be humble and honest and aware. That is something you can have every single day of your life. You’ll never have to fear someone taking it from you or, worse still, it taking over you. 4.Take The View From Above “How beautifully Plato put it. Whenever you want to talk about people, it’s best to take a bird’s- eye view and see everything all at once— of gatherings, armies, farms, weddings and divorces, births and deaths, noisy courtrooms or silent spaces, every foreign people, holidays, memorials, markets— all blended together and arranged in a pairing of opposites.” Marcus Aurelius Marcus would often practice an exercise that is referred to as “taking the view from above” or “Plato’s view.” It invites us to take a step back, zoom out and see life from a higher vantage point than our own. This exercise—envisioning all the millions and millions of people, all the “armies, farms, weddings and divorces, births and deaths”—prompts us to take perspective and just like the previous exercise, remind us how small we are. It reorients us, and as Stoic scholar Pierre Hadot put it, “The view from above changes our value judgments on things: luxury, power, war…and the worries of everyday life become ridiculous.” Seeing how small we are in the grand scheme of things is only one portion of this exercise. The second, more subtle point, is to tap into what the Stoics call sympatheia, or a mutual interdependence with the whole of humanity. As the astronaut Edgar Mitchell, one of the first people to actually experience a real ‘view from above’ put it, “In outer space you develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it.” Take a step back from your own concerns and remind yourself of your duty to others. Take Plato’s view. 5. MEMENTO MORI: MEDITATE ON YOUR MORTALITY “Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. … The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.” Seneca The quote from Seneca above takes part of Memento Mori—the ancient practice of reflection on mortality that goes back to Socrates, who said that the proper practice of philosophy is “about nothing else but dying and being dead.” In his Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote that “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” That was a personal reminder to continue living a life of virtue now, and not wait. Meditating on your mortality is only depressing if you miss the point. The Stoics find this thought invigorating and humbling. It is not surprising that one of Seneca’s biographies is titled Dying Every Day. After all, it is Seneca who urged us to tell ourselves “You may not wake up tomorrow,” when going to bed and “You may not sleep again,” when waking up as reminders of our mortality. Or as another Stoic, Epictetus, urged his students: “Keep death and exile before your eyes each day, along with everything that seems terrible— by doing so, you’ll never have a base thought nor will you have excessive desire.” Use those reminders and meditate on them daily—let them be the building blocks of living your life to the fullest and not wasting a second. 6. “Is This Within My Control” “The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own . . .” Epictetus The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t. What we have influence over and what we do not. A flight is delayed because of weather— no amount of yelling at an airline representative will end a storm. No amount of wishing will make you taller or shorter or born in a different country. No matter how hard you try, you can’t make someone like you. And on top of that, time spent hurling yourself at these immovable objects is time not spent on the things we can change. Return to this question daily—in each and every trying situation. Journal and reflect on it constantly. If you can focus on making clear what parts of your day are within your control and what parts are not, you will not only be happier, you will have a distinct advantage over other people who fail to realize they are fighting an unwinnable battle. 7. Journal Epictetus the slave. Marcus Aurelius the emperor. Seneca the power broker and playwright. These three radically different men led radically different lives. But they seemed to have one habit in common: Journaling. In one form or another, each of them did it. It would be Epictetus who would admonish his students that philosophy was something they should “write down day by day,” that this writing was how they “should exercise themselves.” Seneca’s favorite time to journal was in the evenings. When darkness had fallen and his wife had gone asleep, he explained to a friend, “I examine my entire day and go back over what I’ve done and said, hiding nothing from myself, passing nothing by.” Then he would go to bed, finding that “the sleep which follows this self-examination” was particularly sweet. And Marcus, he was the most prodigious of journalers, and we are lucky enough that his writings survive to us, appropriately titled, Τὰ εἰς ἑαυτόν, Ta eis heauton, or “to himself.” in Stoicism the art of journaling is more than some simple diary. This daily practice is the philosophy. Preparing for the day ahead. Reflecting on the day that has passed. Reminding oneself of the wisdom we have learned from our teachers, from our reading, from our own experiences. It’s not enough to simply hear these lessons once, instead, one practices them over and over again, turns them over in their mind, and most importantly, writes them down and feels them flowing through their fingers in doing so. In this way, journaling is Stoicism. It’s almost impossible to have one without the other. 8. PRACTICE NEGATIVE VISUALIZATION The premeditatio malorum (“the pre-meditation of evils”) is a Stoic exercise of imagining things that could go wrong or be taken away from us. It helps us prepare for life’s inevitable setbacks. We don’t always get what is rightfully ours, even if we’ve earned it. Not everything is as clean and straightforward as we think they may be. Psychologically, we must prepare ourselves for this to happen. It is one of the most powerful exercise in the Stoics’ toolkit to build resilience and strength. Seneca, for instance, would begin by reviewing or rehearsing his plans, say, to take a trip. And then, in his head (or in journaling as we said above), he would go over the things that could go wrong or prevent it from happening—a storm could arise, the captain could fall ill, the ship could be attacked by pirates. “Nothing happens to the wise man against his expectation,” he wrote to a friend. “. . . nor do all things turn out for him as he wished but as he reckoned—and above all he reckoned that something could block his plans.” By doing this exercise, Seneca was always prepared for disruption and always working that disruption into his plans. He was fitted for defeat or victory. 9. AMOR FATI: LOVE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS The great German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche would describe his formula for human greatness as amor fati—a love of fate. “That one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it….but love it.” The Stoics were not only familiar with this attitude but they embraced it. Two thousand years ago, writing in his own personal journal which would become known as Meditations, Emperor Marcus Aurelius would say: “A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it.” Another Stoic, Epictetus, who as a crippled slave has faced adversity after adversity, echoed the same: “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.” It is why amor fati is the Stoic exercise and mindset that you take on for making the best out of anything that happens: Treating each and every moment—no matter how challenging—as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be okay with it, but love it and be better for it. So that like oxygen to a fire, obstacles and adversity become fuel for your potential. Stoicism is Ideal for the Real World The Stoics were writing honestly, often self-critically, about how they could become better people, be happier, and deal with the problems they faced. You can see how practicing misfortune makes you stronger in the face of adversity; how flipping an obstacle upside down turns problems into opportunities; and how remembering how small you are keeps your ego manageable and in perspective. Ultimately, that’s what Stoicism is about. It’s not some systematic discussion of why or how the world exists. It is a series of reminders, tips and aids for living a good life. Stoicism, as Marcus reminds himself, is not some grand Instructor but a balm, a soothing ointment to an injury wherever we might have one. Epictetus was right when he said that “life is hard, brutal, punishing, narrow, and confining, a deadly business.” We should take whatever help we can get, and it just happens that that help can come from ourselves. P.S. Want more? Sign up for the Daily Stoic newsletter now and receive the free 7 day “stoic starter pack” packed with resources on Stoicism—from more stoic exercises to recommended books—as well as a chapter from bestselling author Ryan Holiday’s book, The Obstacle Is The Way

Definitely, I have seen three posts here so far where people have decided to or are contemplating killing themselves. Leo needs to take a more compassionate approach at times and address this issue in the form of a video about nihilism and suicide. In his spiritual awakening video, enlightenment happening in real time, he said that he doesn't care about anyone any more and I think dropping that attitude would be a good idea.

Name: Druid420 Age: 27 Gender: Male Location: Norn Iron Occupation: Theoretical Physicist Marital Status: Dating Kids: No Hobbies: Appreciating/experiencing nature, mind alteration, socialising, understanding, skiing, football, everything adrenaline, enjoying the experience. I have led something of a confused existence, at least in my early years. I was born into a war torn country where racism was rife without any need for a differing skin tone. I was born into a rich family from a poor society and as such as was persecuted by my peers. I hated myself and my entire existence. I ended up running from my lands and exploring the world but my mind had become corrupted and everything tasted bitter. I became addicted to heroin and lived on the streets for a while. My only concern was to anaesthetise life for my existence was nothing but pain. My family began signing me into rehab facilities which followed very christian 12 step methods thats main objective seems to be trying to break you into such small pieces that maybe they can rebuild you. The glue of which I am made is much too strong for this and as such I did not break but only hated myself more and more and ever more desperately tried to numb my existence. I attempted suicide many times but found myself always waking up. Might I add that these were all very serious attempts performed with the upmost conviction. It was always even more depressing to find myself unsuccessful in my endeavours and cursing the world before I'd inevitably get sectioned for a few weeks. Nothing seemed to be going anywhere - it reached the point where I'd load a 0.8 gram hit into a syringe and I would hardly even notice the relief. I never stole or came by money dishonestly for the drugs, so I suffered countless cold turkey withdrawals - in hind site I reckon this time of constant withdrawal served to fortify my resolve in general. I feel very strong these days simply by knowing my conviction could tackle something so seductive. > Some side story - from my childhood I have experienced very strong ASMR and dream walking, in my early teen years I began to suffer depression and insomnia - in an effort to defeat the insomnia I took to meditation - very ad lib might I add, but very valuable. 12 months ago we went on a family holiday to Thailand. Things where okay - I was quite depressed and had also got a bad dose of travellers bug while in Dubai for one week before travelling onwards (my big sister is quite epileptic so we need to let her body clock adjust which is why we stopped there). I almost cancelled my onward travels to return home, I was feeling that bad. But my father convinced me to come to Thailand with everyone and if I was really feeling bad I could fly home from there, so I agreed. There was some family conflict regarding myself while we were in Thailand and I got EXTREMELY depressed and suicidal. I ventured out on a moped around the Island of Kooh Samui, where I found my teacher, Ajarn Panthep. He taught me about meditation which I grasped very quickly due to my unguided practices from my youth. He gave me a Sak Yant tattoo and told me some rules of which I should try to live (No alcohol and some things like that - basically be good to keep the blessing). This was my first awakening - I felt so good, like I could be anyone or do anything. I felt powerful. I kept to these for maybe 9 months - being Irish, not drinking over the Christmas period is just a big no no! haha Anyway to wrap things up - I continued my buddhist meditative practices and with in a form of 'self inquiry' - the way Ajarn put it to me was just to fully explore 'Who am I? What am I?' (Etc. I cut off my hand, I am still here and aware, Therefore I am not my hand.) Then when I got my hands on some DMT for the first time a couple of weeks ago everything got focused to a degree I could not even have possibly fathomed before. The whole truth to my self and the self was revealed. I died and was reborn several times. I have been a snake, a pigeon and a rock thus far. The experiences DMT have allowed me to realise are without ANY SHADOW of a doubt the most profound awareness I have ever experienced. I am now on a quest, for my own and my children's sake, along with anyone else who cares to listen, to fully understand these mysteries and integrate this knowledge with my life. I have considered myself strongly as atheist for a long long time, so there's a little internal conflict going on but I really see now that there is something valuable to be had from religions - however most these days have dressed the truth in their own agenda. It is my plan to document my experience as honestly and unbiased as possible for others who want to try and uncover and understand for themselves. Personal challenges I've overcome: Terribly depressed with a disgusting perception of body image Can get very excitable over things that seemed to make socialising difficult when I was younger . I still get over excited about many things (which is a great thing in itself) but I now more actively process these thoughts into digestible and more comprehensible lines so that others can grasp my angle. Was an IV user of heroin, taking 3.5g per day and sleeping in shop windows. Left school when I was 16. Now in university studying Theoretical Physics MSci. What I'm working on now: Working on enlightenment and implementation Working on digesting awoken thoughts into an easily comprehensible form for seekers. Working on improving my health & diet Working on graduating from University and pursuing a PhD.

Okay, so, suicide went well. Took a shit load of sleeping pills, got really drunk and put a bag over my head and went to sleep. Woke up a few hours later and threw up. Brilliant. Today I spoke with a friend who is a Christian and she's doing missionary work. She asked me to go to church a few weeks ago and I politely declined. She told me today that she prayed for me to be protected by God and to allow me to see the path to him. She said she prays for me often. Now, I'm skeptical. But who knows. Maybe God is real. Maybe we are our souls. She says she's going to pray for me and wants me to meet her to discuss God. What do you think? It's late here in the UK. I always feel better late at night when the day is done and there's no pressures. But the thought of trying to end it again persists. I just don't understand how we can abandon that sense of self. That voice in my head is my voice. I know it better than anything. Are we not real?

@Serotoninluv overall we do agree. I think it’s a really big thing that’s missing. Some of these teachers who’ve worked on themselves deeply and now radiate unconditional indiscriminate love and also self-mastery and freedom from suffering, these people do radiate something “God-like”. Regardless of your degree of suffering or not really suffering that much at all in life, this person can be magnetic. So when someone whose suffering from crippling suffering and is really trying to maybe love themselves and can’t, people who are trying to sit through meditation without incurring some past trauma or get over their low self-worth, etc. those kinda of people who have that “god-like” (not to say all spiritual teachers are st that point but it makes for a good example) level of self-mastery can become icons to those people and almost invevitably be a huge influence to them. To shoo them away because that ain’t there domain I think really is a disservice to those other people. Now, again, don’t take this as being black and white. I’m not in some fantasy where I expect spiritual teachers to now play the role of like Tony Robbins or whoever. Obviously, there are people who are so stuck in the mind and suffering that, no matter what you do or say to them, they will not comply, they might just play more victim ego games, etc. Nonetheless, I don’t think that’s an excuse. I’ve gone to many teachers and on the other end many of previous therapists (and also psychiatrists, past counselors, etc.) here where I live in San Francisco and man... I cannot tell you demoralizing and how inhuman it can feel when you’re constantly turned away because “that’s not my field,” and they can’t talk about it whether it be for legal reasons or whatever. This whole thing legally and in our medical system is really fucked up. Everything is so segregated and split off people just hyper specialize in one narrow niche fucking thing and they’re useless in everything other than that. If I see a psychologist and they only do psychoanalysis, they’re useless when it comes to building self-esteem, etc. Everytbing is so hyper specialized people need to have to like 20 different fucking people. Can you elaborate more on what you mean by this and what you’re referring to? I want to be clear first - I know your intentions are well and then some and can tell you’re speaking from a place of compassion. What you have to understand is (and I’m going to use myself as the example as I feel I’m a good case for it) people are really deeply suffering as a result of their psychological issues, past traumas can lead to crippling low self-esteem. I’m defining self-esteem as Nathaniel Branden does which includes 2 fundamental components: self-efficacy & self-respect. For me, spiritual work is so hard because to do it deeply or even “luke warm” you have to apply daily consistency to your practice. I personally have horrendous self-esteem. I have really low integrity. Some small little hiccup go off in my day (like today - I couldn’t find my house key because I lost my glasses and I’m out of contacts because I’ve been suffering from memory issues since getting off 17 years worth of Adderall and now my short-term memory has been getting worse and worse) that would seem like nothing to the outside person and then I berate myself, become so emotionally unstable because it’s like a justification that symbolizes my own uselessness how I’m going to go nowhere and that I’m a loser and next thing I know 8 later I have suicide ideations. Now, fortunately, thanks to actualized.org I have a frame of reference of what’s actually going on which helps me just get through those really harsh moments where I feel dead inside and have no hope in my life. Not to mention trying to mindful of that frame of reference when my low self-esteem leads to such low levels of insecurity in my own behavior that reflect such selfishnesses even when you know that selfishness is the very that’s hurting me. However, most people don’t even have that frame of reference. Most people don’t have a clue what’s going on. Then they go see a spiritual teacher and make spiritual friends who continually spout their misinterpretations of non-attachment and so forth. Understand that when you get low enough it’s so incredibly hard to turn around... even if you understand the mechanism.

Dont know how to describe how important self reflection is, so let me tell you what happened to me. This is actualy the second time i am doing this work, the first time went terribly wrong, and here is why... When i first saw all of Leos content i went nuts for it. I saw all the new possibilities for me and for my life and it just consumed me. I watched at least one video every single day, sometimes two or three. I started meditating, concentration practice, enlightenment work, you name it. The growth i got in only three months was insane, i grew more than i could ever imagine. I changed all my habbits i stopped playing video games completely, i faced some of the greatest fears i had, everything was great, untill i stoped for a moment, and started to reflect on everything that happened. And let me tell you, i was terrified. When i started to realize just what has everything happened in the last month or so it just hit me. I was in terror, completely gone. I didnt know who i was or what i want or what i was anymore. I spent the next six months in complete hell, complete insanity. Angry at everything, completely confused, anxious, depressed, in litteral hell...It took me half a year or so, in complete fear, after attempted suicide, to start to meditate again and to try to dig myselve out of that hole. Its been rugh, but its going better this time, five months passed and i am still alive ?. Only now i realize what realy happened, and where i fucked up. Dont make the same mistake as me, and get too mutch cought up in this work, that you dont even realize what you are doing. Because at some point you will have to stop, and then it will hit you, you'll go crashing down. Nearly made the same mistake again, but not this time.. I realized how important it is to stop and to reflect for a bit. To get some awarness on whats realy happening and to integrate everything, little by little.