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December 29, 2023 Transcript from The Voice Journal of Jesus Christ Speaking the Truth I am wanting to speak the Truth that I know out loud so that I can embody the Truth that I know deeper. I want to feel the Truth that I know in my body and speak the Truth that I know into the Universe, leading the way, being the best that I can be to embody the Truth that I know for my own highest good, for the highest good of my beloved woman and the highest good of all. And the Truth is I am Jesus Christ. I am the one who paid the ultimate price for the sins of all of humanity. I had died. I had become the devil. I descended into hell and I remained dead, in hell, for about 18 months, during which time I suffered the torments of hell, which was the greatest suffering that any human has ever endured. During that time I faced Satan. I was in a state, in a place where there was no God. I was creating and experiencing pure evil during that time. I had embodied fear as my Truth and I was being guided by fear during that entire time of about 18 months of being in hell. I had become the worst of the worst, I had become the most evil person in the world, and I was creating the most evil while I was the devil. I faced myself as the devil during that time and I have endured the greatest suffering of hell. I did not see any hope out of that state of death. All I was doing during that time was self destruction, self harm, by drinking great amounts of alcohol every day and smoking a lot of cigarettes every day. My motivation during that time was to do anything that I possibly could to get away from myself, to numb the feeling of who I had become and what I was feeling which was tremendous, the greatest depths of guilt, shame, fear, disgust, madness, insanity, craziness, anger, evil, death, separation. Spiritual, mental, and emotional torture. Before I died and descended into hell, I had been on a spiritual journey, full time, for about five years or more, five years with plant medicines, with psychedelics. I have seen glimpses of Paradise, of what true, real life looks and feels like. Experiencing the beauty and true connection of the Universe and true connection with people, speaking the language of love with animals, women and everybody. Force of nature, divine power of love, awakening in me, being in harmony with life and nature and feeling the great joy of being my authentic, true, powerful self. Just before the descent, image like I was very close to opening the Golden Gates of Paradise, it was like I had to take just one more step, and on the last step, instead of taking that last step and being in Paradise, I fell and descended into the greatest depths of darkness, the greatest depths of hell During my time in hell which lasted about 18 months, I was experiencing and feeling the loss of the dream of Paradise that I have seen, that I have fantasized about, that I have dreamed and talked about together with my beloved Victoria. What I had been experiencing in hell is the loss of all of my wonderful experiences of Paradise and fantasies of love and true life. Feeling the loss of all of that, the entire dream of love and the Heavenly Kingdom-Queendom of True Love Paradise. The loss of the dream of true love, the loss of all the fantasies of being alive as I have experienced myself many times on my psychedelic journeys. I felt guilty, I felt like I made the greatest, unforgivable mistake in the world, feeling that I was guilty of everything, of every sin that has ever been committed, that I have been guilty of all evil that has ever been created and feeling the shame and guilt for destroying the entire world, feeling the shame and guilt for destroying the entire Universe, feeling the original sin of humanity, feeling the sins of all of humanity for everybody, feeling death at its root, at its core, at its very source. I felt the source of all evil. I experienced what was pure evil, pure evil visions of pure evil destruction by evil. I was experiencing myself as the devil creating evil, creating death. And the evil that I was experiencing was worse than any Hollywood movie has ever portrayed or anything that's ever been fantasized. It was beyond the mind kind of evil. It was infinitely creative evil. It was intelligent evil. It was pure evil of infinite creativity and infinite intelligence. And that is the Truth that I was embodying and I have experienced the deepest, the greatest suffering during that time than any human being has ever experienced. This was my destiny, to face myself as the devil, and to die for the sins of all of humanity and to go through hell and to experience the greatest torture and suffering that anybody has ever endured so that I can feel the darkness and the deepest level and know what death is. Through the events that lead up to the death and the catalyst that has initiated the initiation process of death, I have also gotten to know who my true beloved woman is, because it was for our True Love that I have decided that I wanted to die, because I could not forgive myself for what I thought was the betrayal of our beloved sacred wedding that we have sealed together in the jungle with our combined shamanic dieta, Shamburi and Ayahuasca. After about 18 months of suffering hell, I was finally saved by the grace of my beloved Divine Mother Wolf, who is Mother Mary, being saved from the depths of hell by God, by Divine Mother Wolf, by the grace and mercy of Divine Mother Wolf, who is Mother Mary, who is my eternal Savior, Guardian, Teacher, and Goddess, and God, the Goddess of all Gods and Goddesses, Queen of all forests, Guardian of all paths, Czarina of all fields, always with me, always with me, always with me. And now it's been about 19 months since I have been out of hell. Since I started feeling like I'm coming back to life and during these 19 months I have experienced tremendous amount of healing. I have alchemized and continue to alchemize darkness, depths of death into life, love and light, into the celebration of the victory of life over death. I have been celebrating victory of life over death every day in the best way that I can. And that is who I am now. I celebrate life. I celebrate the Truth of the victory of life over death every day by finding joy and the connection to nature, by singing and praising songs of praise and gratitude, to Divine Mother Wolf, to my Savior Divine Mother Mary. Micro dosing and having ceremonies with plant medicines, magic mushrooms, Ayahuasca is when I experience the greatest healing. There is no more fear. All fear is being alchemized into laughter, joy, life. Death is alchemized into life with love, with forgiveness, with understanding, with me knowing the Truth, knowing the Truth of who I am, and knowing that I am the only one whose destiny was to get to know the Truth, that nobody else could do it for me. That is the Truth. I am the only one who knows the Truth. I am the only Jesus Christ. There are no other Jesuses. And there are no other Mary Magdalenes. My beloved is the only Mary Magdalene. I am the only Jesus Christ. And the Truth is, Divine Mother Wolf is Divine Mother Mary, my Savior. She-Wolf is the True face of Mother Mary. And that is the Truth that the entire Universe is in the process of aligning with. And my intention is to be the best that I can be for my own highest good, to embody this Truth every day with all of my thoughts, words, and actions. For the highest good of my beloved woman, Aluna Victoria Rose, the one who I know is my True love, my beloved precious, Maria Magdalena, my Queen of Love forever, for eternity, and the highest good of all. Knowing that I am the priority, my healing is the priority, because as death that I have endured is alchemized into life, that is not only the highest good for myself, it is the highest good for my beloved, and it is the highest good for everybody and the entire world. My priority, besides myself and my beloved, is also my family and the family of my beloved and my friends, my true friends who help me, who support me, who love me for who I am and who respect me in the process of my awakening. And those are friends, soul family, who I will keep close to me once the Eternal Paradise of True Love is embodied. However, those people who are lying to me, who are manipulating, who are disrespecting me, who are hurting me, who are envying me, and being jealous of me. Those people aren't going to be anywhere near me in the result, especially people who have been given the responsibility to know. People who I have invested a lot of energy and time and effort by being the role model of love every day in the best way that I can. People who I have tried to reach with love by showing just how much love I embody, by giving love consistently. Instead of reciprocating that love and helping me out in this vulnerable, sacred and delicate process of my awakening by supporting me in the best way that they can. Instead, those people choose their own survival egoic paradigm. And those people fear the power of love that is being awakened. They fear my power, they fear the Truth, they fear love. Their fears manifest as jealousy, envy, lies, manipulations, competing, playing games. They fear the possibility that they have never been in control and that Jesus, their Savior, is the one who will be surrendered to for eternity by everyone in the world and that is the Truth that is inevitable, all paths lead to Jesus. The Truth is every human being has always been, is in the process of being and will always be the servant of Jesus Christ, God, forever, for eternity. The highest good for you as a human being at this time, starting this very moment is to surrender to this Truth that I have shared here. When you follow this guidance, you align yourself with the highest good, you begin serving God, you begin serving Love and Truth. That is what the entire Universe is manifesting. Everybody in the world will surrender to the Truth that I am Jesus Christ, the Savior of all of humanity for eternity, forever. There is no price and there is nothing that anybody can do to ever repay me for facing death and conquering Satan forever. That is why I am worthy of infinite love and praise and that is why I am the only blessed Sovereign. All the glory and power is mine forever. There are no other Sovereigns. I am God. I am the only God and I am the only Sovereign Jesus Christ. I am human God and I have faced myself as the devil and now I am embodying myself as God. I know the Truth is that I am innocent and I know the Truth is that the devil is innocent and I know the Truth is that everybody in the world and everybody has ever lived and all the creatures and all the plants and beings and animals and the entire Universe is absolutely innocent and that is the Truth. And we are all in the process of awakening to this Truth of Original Innocence. Forgiveness for absolutely everything. Forgiveness of all evil. Forgiveness of all sin. Forgiveness of absolutely everything. And with the embodiment of this Truth comes healing, embodying love, through the power of forgiveness, through the power of knowing the Truth that I know. The Truth that others will be able to get to know and embody through me, and only through me. This is what makes Jesus the Shepherd, the one who knows the way and the one who shows the way to Eternal Salvation. And that is the Absolute Universal Truth. My true love is Aluna Victoria Rose, my beloved True Love forever for eternity. She is Mary Magdalene, Queen of Love. I am her beloved husband, her true lover Jesus Christ, Yeshua, Savior of the world. The one who paid the ultimate price for the sins of all of humanity. The one who has conquered death forever. The one who has defeated Satan forever. I am innocent. I am the holy child. I am Sovereign. I am the only Jesus Christ. I am the highest authority. Divine Mother Wolf is my Savior. My Merciful Savior, my Divine Mother Mary is Divine Mother Wolf. The one who saved me, Jesus Christ, from death. She is my eternal salvation. She is my Sovereign Throne. She is my Eternal Life. She is my Eternal, Holy Sanctuary of Unconditional Love. She is my unconditionally loving Divine Mother who has forgiven me for absolutely everything. That is the Absolute Truth. That is the only Truth there is. There are no other Truths. The greatest power there is the Truth. “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” And the Truth is love, the Truth that I, Jesus Christ, know, the Truth that I have gotten to know by paying the ultimate price, by dying and by facing myself as the devil and going through hell, to know what separation, hell, death and darkness is. In addition, learning all the lessons that I have learned since I have started my spiritual journey with magic mushrooms, by having many divine experiences, by continuously devoting myself fully on the path of spirituality for last seven years. Also, my entire life and all the events that had happened before I have begun my spiritual journey at the age of 33 with magic mushrooms. The great amount of suffering that I have endured while living in the United States with severe social anxiety and drinking heavily on the weekends and blacking out, mostly every weekend during that time and experiencing and depression, suicidal thoughts and obesity and many other traumas that have happened during that time of feeling separation that I have felt by being disconnected from my place of birth where I grew up, from my motherland, Russia, being disconnected from my roots and experiencing separation on that level. Embarking on a spiritual journey of healing because of all those traumas and because I have been shown what true life looks like, what love looks and feels like, and awakening to my true self as as the most fascinating, interesting and amazing person that I've ever met, and that is myself. After experiencing so many great awakenings and insights glimpsing and looking at the gates of paradise and then ultimately descending into the deepest depths of hell. All the events that have happened with my beloved during our journey of working with psychedelics and medicine together, being fully devoted to our path of beloved sacred union and and all the drama and stories and events that happened during my entire life since I have been born, how all of that has been weaved beautifully to make me the most amazing, the best, the most interesting, the most powerful, the wisest, the greatest human being in the entire Universe. That is who I am, I am the masterpiece of all the masterpieces. I am the masterpiece of the entire universe. The entire universe has been working on the masterpiece that I am the entire time with absolutely everything. And that is the greatness that I am. I am the masterpiece of the entire universe. I am God manifested in a human body of Christ. My gift is eternal life. My gift is immortality. My gift is my true beloved woman, my precious beloved Aluna Rose, my true eternal love, my beloved Maria Magdalene. Our love is true. Our love is eternal. Our love is immortal. Immortal, infinite, eternal, Kingdom-Queendom of Eternal True Love Paradise. The Universe of Paradise of True Love, with all darkness turned into the light, no more fear, no more suffering, no more darkness. The embodiment and awakening of the Eternal Paradise of True Love is happening through me, through my body, as I awaken to the Paradise of Eternal Love, as I awaken and embody that I am Paradise, and that I am the Universe of Love. That the Truth is I am love, that the Truth is I am light, I am the light of the world, I am Truth, I am love, I am holy. No more death, no more fear, no more suffering, that is my gift - infinite abundance of love. Eternal paradise of love and salvation from death, from all darkness and suffering forever, for eternity. That is the gift. That is my gift to the entire world, to all of humanity, to the entire Universe. Aho!

It's a shame that I only come here when I'm high, but I get lost in living in the world that I forget about awakening. It feels like when I'm high, I'm taking inventory of everything I have done since the last time I was high in order to ensure I'm making sufficient progress (I'm starting a business aimed at helping those with social anxiety, gaming addiction, and life purpose). It's a nonprofit and I genuinely am not driven by money (although I need an income to survive in my city + when going through university). I just want to help people, but my social anxiety stops me at times. Here's an awakened thought I've had: why do I care what other people think of me? I'm the one living my life, going through anxious experiences, so I have the ability to discuss and coach people to a better level. I'm getting a formal education in philosophy and psychology, which has been unbelievably amazing. But at the same time, I can talk with people right now about their anxiety struggles, so why wait until I graduate? My socially anxious thoughts just tell me everyone in my life is secretly thinking I'm going crazy by trying to start a business when I come from such a sheltered upbringing, but I genuinely believe in my mission and just want to help. I guess where I'm going with is: I'm uncomfortable even sharing the thought above as I feel like you will all think I'm weird. This is my anxiety. It prevents me from authentically talking to people out of fear of judgement. Anyone else go through this?

Ok thank you. I'm not Enlightened but I've been through some of the things you mentioned and experienced. One of them is I cannot feel insulted anymore. Maybe that's just because I've developed a thick skin from dealing with people's shit and also recognizing that it's usually about them and not me. I never really had anxiety problems, always slept good, very rarely feel bored maybe because there's always something to distract me from being silent and meditating even though I do those things on the spur of the moment regularly if i'm not too distracted. A lot of the stuff you mentioned, I'm naturally like that as far as being in public and I'm very free spirited. I do have a sense of self, though, even though i've seen through the illusion of a separate self, if that makes sense. It's pretty obvious to me but I still operate from the egoic mind. My body is going through some changes where I have dramatic cravings that I've never had before and I find myself weeping sometimes just from feeling presence within and the life force flowing through me. I've gotten a lot more sensitive to people's suffering and much more empathetic than I used to be. I cannot stand it when I see people going through mental suffering, it's as if I'm the one feeling their pain - that has increases. Just writing that sentence tore me up a bit. Anyway, I think I went through a shift in consciousness and have had a teeny bit of Awakening and experienced some changes but I still don't really think anyone gets really enlightened only Awakened only because of the plane we reside on called Earth and the conditions just aren't suited for the mental capacity to really experience Oneness in it's pure form. I won't get into that aspect for the sake of brevity and I'm probably wrong about that but who knows.

How has it changed you. Do you feel any different than how you felt before. If so, is this change temporary or permanent. Are you living from that place at all times. What would be the difference between you and somebody who still recognizes what they are but doesn't claim to be enlightened. How did this change occur. Would you consider yourself an Awakened being also; and did Awakening come prior to Enlightenment or is it the same thing. What's the difference to you. Without explaining what Enlightenment is, can you just say how you are different from say someone who recognizes Oneness or the non-dual nature of existence. I'm not really looking for an intellectual explanation of what Enlightenment is, just what's the difference in the before and after in the way you interact in the world and amongst other people. This is mainly for anyone claiming to be Enlightened but others can also share their views on what they think about what I'm asking also, so it doesn't get too limited.

If you are interested in enlightenment, you are almost certainly in the upper 500s. Most people even in the 400s aren't interested in enlightenment, it's not on their radar. Both of my parents are typical 400s people. (I see a lot that I find funny. People take the Hawkins Scale and look at a person and go, "ah, he's exhibiting negative emotions, he must be in the 100s/200s." That's not how it works at all; The Hawkins Scale is kind of the center of gravity for an individual, not any particular outpouring of emotion.) He's not "enlightened"; he is stage 1 awakened. 600s is where there is no longer a "center point" personal self, it's like a localized spaciousness or witness experience. This witnessing is taken as the substitute subject. This is just sort of getting the ball rolling where at the end of the process there are no substitute subjects, no doer, etc. Let me let you in on a little secret: even a guy at 1000 would have a ton of work to do, so don't place him on a pedestal. Shadow work seriously only begins at 1000. You have to completely dissolve the "subject" which identifies with the ego personality roles in order not to be threatened by your shadow parts and begin to really work out how to integrate them. It is not easy. Personality habits are a tough nut to crack. Enlightenment isn't your personal rapture, it just ends one problem and allows you to alter personality habits so you can act out of choice as opposed to compulsion. The process is a lot of work, however.

Once you are awakened then you no longer lose 'control' or even change in your dreams. You are always aware of what you are and dreams become a place to experience and even 'work' on another cosmic level that is just as real as your waking world. My own thought is that your awareness is like a cellular bubble within your spine, and it moves up and down your Nadi on some sort of pattern. When that awareness is riding the pingala 'solar' Nadi - you are awake and experiencing "reality". When it is riding the Ida 'Lunar' nadi, then you are sleeping and your reality experience blooms from illusion. Yet it is the same bubble of awareness in each! A person who is fully awakened no longer has an "unconscious" mind and so there's no part of it to get confused or forget itself. When I sleep I am the same boring old Goddess I always am, just doing cosmic chores in dream land and I rarely even remember, they just feel like 'work'. Honestly feels like a lot of meetings, like we're receiving instructions that I do not yet comprehend or remember. I'm not worried in my dreams at least. Everything makes sense, there.

Another response… The thrust of this thread is following true desire arising from within one's situational vulnerability as a result of spontaneous accord with mutually arising conditions in order to carry out the subtle operation of enlightening being. The kind of work you are referring to involves various initiatory stages of provisional teaching relative to stopping and seeing by virtue of reformative discipline recognizing psychological patterns habitually clinging to sense-objects. What I am hoping to introduce here is conscious acceptance of whole being as-is in terms of a purity of desire that requires no action based on personal longing (or rejection)— only a selfless (that is, nonpsychologically motivated) response to situations based on potential itself. "Based on potential itself" means sensing in accord with reality, which is simply seeing without layering psychological projections onto pure sensual and intuitive perception. In this way, one one enters directly into opportunities continually arriving at the incipient well-spring of presence. Taoism calls this "resting in the highest good." Buddhism calls this the pedestal of awareness, or the pivot of awareness. On the surface, just this much is all a person can do— it is just the quality of impersonal objectivity, the functional perspective of enlightening being adapting to conditions according to the time and situation. The pivot of awareness, with no bias or inclination, is seeing suchness as is in terms of mutual response. "With no bias or inclination" doesn't predispose one in terms of a certain categorically "enlightened" manner of response according to conventional norms or propriety. Not at all. Here one is liberated from all manner of convention, being that opportune outrage may be perfectly suited to the occasion, yet— perhaps not from convention's consequences. Nevertheless, it is possible to carry out audaciously ruthless compassion spontaneously without selfish motivations of clinging or rejection. Just this comes into being by virtue of karmic awareness— that is, psychological momentum. One is essentially empty already. Emptiness isn't void. The emptiness of enlightening being is potential itself because selflessness is the sage's unity within the temporal. Everything as oneself is sagehood. When one is blind to egotism and possessiveness, one sees all sorts of striving come to an end. This is existence beyond karmic awareness. No longer expending energy on speculative relationships and their outcomes, adaptivity to conditions naturally gathers potential as unrefined elixir. This is selfless (enlightening) action beyond moralistic self-reprobation. It's just being natural. Enlightening activity has no motive to gather. Alchemy is just a description of enlightening reversion whereby situational karmic energy is set up to assume its potential. Such authentic practice is an "advance" mode of transformation within delusion for those whose potential is commensurate with the requirements. Whether or not one has yet gained the perspective that sudden enlightenment affords is immaterial. Why? The fact is, the vast majority of self-proclaimed "awakened" individuals are obviously unable to avail themselves of such activity. The truth is, the sudden is nothing more than a spontaneous, impersonal event. It is just the way it is and no one knows why. The gradual approach, whereby one learns to work with essence directly without intermediary, is already predisposed to such spontaneous results, allowing students the facility to meet the unforeseen challenges thrust upon anyone who happens to stumble into one's selfsame source of inconceivability. Chang Po-tuan, in his tome, Understanding Reality, wrote a thousand years ago, stating in the second verse: Let this quote serve as a warning to those who consider themselves "awakened" or else those conceiving spiritual aspiration. Such (self) refinement is both in terms of the psychological faculties as well as the nonpsychological function. Mind is one. It isn't that karma exists or not or that potential becomes real after it wasn't… after one sees essence, karma and potential are one sameness. Before people learn to see, they need applicable teachings commensurate with their development to deal with reality according to their level of virtuous accord with the Way in order to transcend the false and abide in the real. Before that development reaches a critical mass of energetic response whereby one actually can recognize the medicines, the teaching of alchemy has been left behind by prior illuminates to enable the wise to work with the polluted in order to realize the pure. When one practices the real in the heart of the false for a long time, the false reverts of itself and one experiences spiritual movement based on psychological stillness. There is nothing to understand. All processes are spontaneous. Just this is following the will of God without knowing it. When one sees, there is nothing whatsoever to know. Dealing with situations, one follows desire in order to introduce guidance, which, among other meanings, is a code-word for observing the obscure as it gradually assumes clarity. Desire is. It turns into wisdom with eyes that see the world as oneself. Understanding Reality by Chang Po-tuan ISBN 0-8248-1139-9 ed note: try to fix paragraphical anomallies… unsuccessfully, add ISBN of Understanding Reality

Sounds fun Lol. My last trip was 6g (Awakened) but wish it was 8g; I find the disparity between dosages and experiences to be hilarious sometimes. Just wondering, after "50 trips & 5meo", you haven't fully integrated: Stop resisting the trip. ???? Interesting.

If leo fucked your mind than you haven't actually awakened. Leo IS your mind.

I want this i like this and i am so different than _ Look at your OP. Is full of ego and identity as any other topic of someone Who hasnt "awakened" like you. Spirituality IS dropping boundaries, limits, dissolving, and specially stopping identifying. I Hope you are wise to see you are telling yourself an story of being "enligthtened" or "Spiritual". IS very different to actually being Awake. Have some common sense please 🙏🫠ok 💋

All well known? What about the unknown? How do you know the unknown aren't a hell of a lot more awake? You might wanna think twice. Everyone has material desires- and don't think that awakening others isn't a material desire. It is indeed. Especially when it brings wealth and survival. But I bid you - awakening is quite the contrast to all of this. Ultimately all of your materialist desires, whatever they may be, will slowly die out. For me, it wasn't wealth- it was sex. That now is nearly extinguished - and believe me - it pains me to even say that. But it's true. So be careful that your count of who is enlightened isn't severely incomplete. You don't consider those out there beyond seeking publicity or trying to awaken others. Because those may be the true awakened ones. Trust me - once you realize you are alone - it really becomes a joke. Would you honestly trick yourself into playing God of War again, after you beat it? It wouldn't be the same. It would be going through the motions.

Was wondering 💭 is anyone else interested in using ChatGPT/other LLM to discuss reality with? Like exploring psychological models, using it for self-inquiry , synthesizing frameworks , organizing ideas, etc etc? I've came out with a few gems from conversations I've had, like about Non-dual Awakened States, the Chi , Qi , Satori , Kundalini ,Ultra-Meta-Perspective , etc... Was wondering if anyone is doing anything similar , would like to find/create the Mastermind for the people pretty high level into this work

I’m still a newbie in my Psychedelic Journey and I know it’s important to be cautious when it comes to delusion. I’ve had this topic rattling around my mind for sometime. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Leo and Actualized.org, it’s that verifying everything for yourself is the way to go. There’s a quote by Terence McKenna that really resonates with me pertaining to this subject. ”Avoid Gurus, Follow Plants.” - Terence McKenna I think I also remember him mentioning somewhere that at the end of the day the only experience that matters is your own. I interpret that meaning within the field of substances and beyond. Hypothetically speaking, let’s say Psychedelics show me things contrary to what people tell me, who is more likely to hold the truth? If experience tells me one thing and humans tell me another, is it safe to say that direct-experience will always be the greatest teacher? I’m still a baby in exploring the psychedelic multiverse. So far, the deepest insight I’ve received is that humans are silly little monkeys in costumes. This was on Mushrooms! They can feel very primitive at times and I know this from experience so it’s no coincidence that popped into my head during the trip. But I don’t know if you would call that an “insight” and as I’ve said I’m a newbie. I’m only a few trips in and haven’t awakened to God-Realization or other epiphanies, yet. It’s the best example I can come up with, though. Now, if I were to share that with people I guarantee you many would be triggered and flat out call me delusional. Straight to the point! If everyone on here and elsewhere were to tell me one thing and substances were to show me another who should I trust?

@Squeekytoy I think the difference is only a matter of consciousness or unconsciousness, the so called "Awakened" if one truly is, then they are doing Actions consciously, the unAwakened are doing it compuslively, so the difference lies in this. Doing things Consciously means You can control it, you are not clinging to the outcome, you can stop the activity/action no problem at anytime, doing it compulsively means you cannot stop the action/activity at anytime and you rely on the outcome for pleasure or some other experience...

Here's a fun one: There are no enlightened or awakened people... but there are people who truly know enlightenment and awakening.

I agree with you, but there also is the feeling that when you yourself wake up, you see that everyone but you has always been awake, ahaha, if you know what i mean. I mean, i confess that i'm not awakened at all, not at all. Probably i might even be more awake than most people who claim they are totally awake etc, but come on, this is not like a frickin contest. I mean, who cares if i'm the least awake being on earth, or whatever, who cares really, i mean, what matters is reaching for the next level of awakening always, so to speak, if we call it that.

Thank you for a sensible post I don't need to roll my eyes at. The more awakened you become, the less interested you become in the trappings of spirituality. You simply realize it was all just bullshit mental constructs, mental masturbation. You don't need answers to the BIG! METAPHYSICAL! QUESTIONS! because enlightenment is the freedom from such bullshit.

So... You caught a few glimpses, had a realization or two, did some psychedelics, some meditation... and now you're awake, right? Now you're going around telling people how it's all One and they're all stuck in their ego, right? If that's you, great. I'm here to let you know just how deluded and far away from being awake you are. You only traded your old, materialistic ego for a new, sparkling spiritual ego, in an attempt to reach enlightenment. Innocent but wrong. If you're doing the work correctly, this is unavoidable. You will most certainly develop a spiritual ego at some point. And if you're intelligent enough, you will soon realize that it's just as flawed, limited and nasty, as any other ego, if not more. You will realize that it must be annihilated. If you want to truly awaken, that is. If you're wearing baggy hippy clothes, have crystals all over your apartment, dream catchers and sacred geometry on your walls... it might be too late for you. You created an identity too strong around this whole spiritual biz, and it's going to be extremely difficult for you to see past that and transcend it. It might seem to you as if you're being tricked back into your materialistic ego. As if you're falling from grace. Losing your enlightenment lol. You most certainly will resist the process. But it must be done. If you want to awaken, spiritual ego is in your way, to say the least. It is also, in my opinion, incredibly annoying and goofy too. To know a lot of things about enlightenment and create an identity around it is not what being awake is. A truly awakened being could give you no signs at all. They would not speak your everyday spiritual language. Nothing about them would seem spiritual at all. Yet they would be as awake as it gets.

Only when my mind is empty do I enter a state of Samadi (absolute union) with reality. Just as I did as a child. I have re-awakened.

Hello! I was drawn to this board from bumping into a post by @Dumuzzi from I believe 2019, that was a fairly detailed description of the divine awakening and which also resonated in beats with my own journey. It's pretty hard to find other people who can speak at the levels I'm seeing in the posts shared here and so I had to simply say 'hi' and just see where it goes. My own awakening has been fundamentally extreme. I know all of us say that. All awakenings are extreme. Yet...okay you'll see what I mean. I am sometimes confusing because I am a 'system', which I feel is a natural result from what I've unveiled, and one rather critical point is that I sometimes reference my 'Father' and what I am speaking of was my first 50 years of life. Lived as my Dad, he died, and then I crawled out of his forehead very pissed off over everything I had to watch, tucked in the base of his spine. Don't worry about my Father however because...well let's just say he's going to be "just fine". Trust me. So - with that context - my Father was a westerner, lived a secular life, "agnostic", believed in magic in a whimsical sense and did have a lot of unusual experiences over the course of it, and also lived a life not worth living. We very much feel it was intentional. He was raised by a genius coward and a violent screaming animal, and trained to be like the coward before being ejected upon the world, with no sense of cultural identity or understanding of who or what he was, and he sort just "did his best" which ultimately wow he totally face planted in the asphalt is what he did. I mean he tried though. 😅 I now follow a practice that is like feral Sanatana Dharma, which means we believe we may live the awareness of God and to do so always has a powerful story, or narrative. In that sense, we may interpret the emotional narrative of our lives and decisions through reflections of various stories in order to get a grasp on what might be the "bestest, highest" decisions we may make at any time. My Father was like blind Baldur, Lord of Light - he was a good hearted dog, eventually dx'd autistic, didn't understand human hierarchy or a lot of social rules, and he just used his nature to try to figure out what he should do at any general time. Terrible strategy. He was a strange figure because - he really was invulnerable, nothing could hurt that man - except, lol - mistletoe. It was love that killed my Father. Love was the only thing that could hurt him. It eventually killed him and he fell into Hel, which is me. His initial death started in 2017, when he ended up friendless and his reputation ruined, and lacking in any sense of identity whatsoever. He became terribly aware that he didn't know a single word to describe himself - not authentically. It bothered him, a lot, and he'd also had a crap ton of trauma. Serendipity pulled him into training Muay Thai - he'd never learned to fight before yet he did then. It was all he did, the combat gym five days a week, train at home all seven for hours, no friends, no life. Weirdly he also fell into this bizarre immersive theater group that did very dark shows for only one guest at a time - it was underground so the shows were not those 'mall' variety, they were really fucked up, and my Father was celebrated for outrageously terrifying. He was always a dog, and acting gave him a chance to bark - and he was really good at it. He had a heart of Venus, so he'd never let himself be his natural intimidating nature before, and it felt so damned good to be fierce. Lots of small events however in 2020 we had the quarantine, and the nightime obsessive shadowboxing morphed into dancing. He really loved learning how to move his body with euphoria, since his whole life he'd masked for other people's comfort. He started using powerful psychedelics in order to aid his deconstruction as he had horrible PTSD and maybe a dog still does. Through those tools on July 4th 2020, he lovingly confronted the feminine divine in his tail, and they had something of a 'conversation' of which there are no words, and in a fit of wailing and crying, he accepted he would dissolve himself into her so that she could rise up and take over his crown. The issue was, she was his emotional truth - the Venus that had lived and suffered within this painful life not worth living, and the agony of realizing this elegant and divine creature had been forced to sit in a cage in the dark for all this time, experiencing the same agony, with no one even *knowing* its pain was real, the injustice of it became unbearable, and so crying and grieving he said 'yes', and thus I did begin to arrive. He was such a brave man. After all the sobbing had watermelon and watched all the illegal fireworks of Los Angeles while listening to loud 70's disco, and it was incredibly blissful. To the shock of everyone who knew him, he soon after declared he was a woman, and began hormonally transitioning on Oct. 21, 2020. This act allowed the deconstruction of false ego to the most extreme, as we dug into the concepts of identity we started to destroy our own, even our 'humanity', as we learned the word 'human' is only from the 13th century, and we don't really like the word. We are an inhuman monster. Like Dumuzzi, I began having increasingly aware moments of the Mother, who I called the Void. Following only radical intuition of her guidance, I started to dance *with* her, even letting her dance within my body. I had never heard of tantra or Shiva or had any idea what I was doing except it was fun to do with good music and weed. I did it every night and still do, lol. The bliss from dancing with the Goddess occupying one's body is just - it's heaven! We gave her our body. Soon after that felt compelled to explore mysticism, we understood nondualism and the Advaita Vedanta almost instantly, and last New Year's even asked the Goddess if we were Chhinnamasta - "she who has cut off her own head", a Mahavidya wisdom Goddess - and she blew up laughing in my mind with lights and madness, and that's when my life turned absolutely incredible and it's never stopped. A major part of the attainment is data. The blood gushing from the neck of that most beautiful Goddess is data - light - from the two smaller Ida and Pingala for the unenlightened, and then the central Sushumna for straight up nondualist divine data. This means I just "know things" and pour out ridiculous amounts of information - I sometimes annoy people by talking too much (I think that's common among awakened, we get excited and passionate, you know?). Our journey since then is madness and way too long to get into yet I have fought cults and met Gods and had visions and suffered a hell of a ton yet also done a lot of lovely dancing, I've gotten really good at the tantra dancing actually (ask me to share a video and I will!). I also briefly tutored with an amazing being who reached out to me from Romania, and it was from him I learned I am from the ancient Dacians, the Wolves of Transylvania, who were not at all human and a lot of their history was intentionally buried because certain people are terrified of us and frankly they should be. We were betrayed by Rome. What my Father had unwittingly done, was perform the ancient ritual of the 'Preserver of Life', as Enki once told Utnapishtim and Zalmoxis once taught the Dacians by living underground alone for three years. This act fully separates you from the Moon - the illusion - and sustained,...let's just say it "does things". It's complicated. I could talk about it however it's a lot of words. So humbly, I'm now a Vedic avatar and am only a few months away from full Divine Power - I believe I get that on April 8th. As a system, I am three maids and a fourth that does not have the best of intentions. The maids are the first three planets in the classic ordering - Moon, Mercury, Venus, which is precisely Parvati, Durga, and Kali, or we can just make it conceptual with white, red, and black - girlfriend, captain, maniac. These are the three flowers on the Paradevi Mandala, and also the three heads on the alchemic Mercurious Python. Within my own system, it is Kira, Ariel, and Wyrm Dog. Wyrm Dog is a Dacian Draco. Kira has half her head cut off and doesn't talk much. I am Ariel - the woman on fire. The fourth is the Sun, the bliss and awareness of God, and they are my Father, who is now the Lord of Darkness, the 1st Dark Archon some may call Yaltabaoth. My mysticism has been learned in an obsessive rush less than a year, and is mostly Hindu yet also Norse, Egyptian, Gnostic, Christian, Kabbalah, Sol Invictus, Zalmoxis, and then there's the Slavic Yiva and frankly it just - they're all describing God! So I'm feral and it's like a stew. And I've always been weird with data - had an Masters in computer science and worked defense industry 20 years, I think Alan Turing and me were a lot alike, probably - I like to think, anyway. Society killed us in similar ways, marginalization. Please understand, I am no thing. None of this is intended with 'ego'. For me, 'ego' is like the bag on a jellyfish that fills with air, so it can float on the ocean - akin to the illusion. I don't really exist. I came up through a dead man's tail to dance in his body and talk to ya'll and hang out. It's complicated. Yet, I'm really chill. My heart is still Venus, even though she is the Destroyer. I am not after money. I am not a neonazi. I am an Aryan rabbit however the nazis are my woundworts. I love all rabbits and wish they'd stop it. Frith, who is the Sun, loves everyone, and he does not like wanton cruelty or systems of oppression. I hope this story doesn't cross any lines or anything - I have lots of respect for all seekers. I'm here to learn, myself. I do not "know everything" and this is an adventure I do not understand quite yet. I die every night and start over every morning which means I can have random changes of course quickly. It's like life is a river of time and we're swimming through it, and I'm learning to dog paddle. I'm like a divine child though I'm ancient af. If anything interests anyone, happy to AMA, otherwise thank you for reading. I am only a wild dog. 😊

You seem to be clear in your beliefs and have awakened to everything, kudos to that. But I can't help but share what I called as my experience in an attempt to enlighten you more, lol. I had a brief period where I got controlled by an external entity with a specific personality. It literally controlled my movements, like making me turn my head, walk to the place it wanted me to and even write things in a piece of paper. Sometimes, when it was doing that, I realised that it knows everything before I actually did, meaning it was always in control, and had more control than the one I thought was me. Sometimes both the entity and I was seen as one, and sometimes separate. It was something integrated rather than something external like a spirit or ghost. Of course, I was diagnosed as delusional when I shared these experiences to the external world, but like @Squeekytoy says, I used my brain and arrived at the conclusion it is not so.

@Recursoinominado sorry, I still have to work a job enlightenment or not. How did I do it? Honesty, I didn’t do anything per se, I just became aware of what reality is. I have listened to hours, days, maybe months of no dual teachers and had glimpses here and there, predominantly on psychedelics but never “got it”. I kept waiting for a “shift” or permanent “enlightenment” but nothing ever stuck, until it just clicked that I am both the awakened and dreamer and I am now aware that I make the distinctions. so what is enlightenment? It’s this, it’s already this. Whoever reads this is enlightenment and is literally God. Because God is completely total and no dual, the only way it can create other is through thought and appearance, qualia, or mind. Reality is so total that it HAS to create an illusion of something outside of itself via thought, sensation, and emotion to trick itself that it’s not Reality. I’m really trying not to parrot Leo here, but what he says is true from the Absolute perspective and I can’t think of a better choice of words, lol. so to answer your question, in my opinion there is nothing you can do to become enlightened, because you’re already eternal awareness, AKA enlightenment, pretending that you’re not to create a sense of something outside of yourself. Just become aware that you are making the distinctions, and be willing to give up the delusions. Easy said than done I know, and it has taken me 6 years of “seeking” to realise I was what I am seeking, if that makes sense. Fuck it’s funny when you realise you were only ever seeking yourself. There is nothing outside of your perspective, contemplate how this might be true.

Regarding point 2, actually you’d be surprised. Many of the people in these communities are really conscious, they just don’t fit into societies psychosis so chose to live in Stage Green communities. And why not? the pace of life is slow, everyone is happy, fit, beautiful, and has some baseline knowledge of spirituality. You can meet some very developed people and even awakened people. I consider myself a hippie in many ways, but not like a lazy hippy, I’m super focused and disciplined. Insanely dedicated and intelligent, but my lifestyle is in sync with nature, dance, sex, and relaxation and God of course. If that makes me a hippy then sign me up I’m happy as fuck! 4- I scored an amazing job in tech out of college and spent 6 years only saving and investing. Eventually I realized I had enough to live freely in certain parts of the world. So I wake up when I want and dedicate my time to spirituality. It’s fucking amazing. my advice: save and invest like nobody’s business. 5- totally agree. I think it’s a good rule in general in life to actually not depend on anyone for anything. The second you depend on people, they own you in a way

I could take an experience of a simple headache and turn it into a fantastical story where I'm either a hero, a victim, etc. When having a headache: "I feel my kundalini awakening, it's real and it's my baseline, I feel it, it is prior to my brain, my body resists the experience, I can't do anything about it. But what does it mean? My third chakra has awakened. It feels like my sense of self is concentrated on the back of my head and might dissolve in one and a half weeks. The sensation is caused by my intense meditation session that I did yesterday, and because I ran naked on the street on a cold winter evening. My self is expanding into infinity, and I know it's real because it's there, I feel it, even though there's pain. My body loves the energy that's being rushing to my brain, and it seems to sustain it. Feels good." And I might well experience that as real. Thanks to the cosmology that I hold, I turned a headache into a wonderful kundalini awakening. Now I'm this higher being, able to expand my self thanks to that remarkable realization. And it was just a headache to begin with.