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@Forestluv @Leo Gura Do your psychidelic experiences involve a certain part of your body or does it vary from trip to trip? All of my trips involve the same sensations in my head, and they unravel in the same way to varying degrees each trip. Does your felt sense of being change, i know on my better trips I get almost an astral sense of self, sometimes with the sense of self felt as bliss. @Forestluv@Leo Gura If the psychidelics showed me that the release of tension from the head leads to profound changes in my sense of self and reality, then is that I should be striving towards? Or is the tension something that is not meant to be released, and what i experienced was just a peak, and chasing the peak will get nowhere? @Forestluv From what i've read so far, I think there's a link between body tension, personality/character, and general well being. I have a host of psychological problems, mainly involving an immature ego, and I also have a very rigid posture/body as well as abnormalities in how I walk, write, etc. Given what i've experienced on my trips, the release of tension from the head leads to a change in how my entire body is felt and functions, whatever is being released from the pressure in the head, has a dramatic impact on the functioning of my entire sense of self. My coordination is better, I am more in my body and feel connected, and i'm more aware of deeper tension/stress located in different parts of my body. Problem solving and creativity were also enhanced during the trips I was able to release the tension, and i'm assuming the more developed an ego becomes the more creative and effective a person comes at whatever they pursue. I've felt myself slip into the schizoid/anti-social end of personality function over the past few months and it definitely corelates with the rigidity of my body. Imagine the sense of self of an anti-social person, it's reserved, contracted, and closed off from the world. I think you see this manifest in their bodies as well. Now, imagine the opposite end of the spectrum, a loving, self actualized person. Their sense of self is expansive, open, relaxed. This would also correlate with their felt sense of the body, and would also show in character as peace, compassion, and calm. I also noticed a relationship between crying and the contractions in my body. After my peak experience on LSD, the next day I felt a strong urge to cry. It felt as though the intense crying would alleviate pressure in the same area that the LSD had acted upon. But when the time came for the release, my body physically resisted the urge to cry. I imagine for some people full on crying is a freeflowing experience, but I imagine my inability to cry and release is related to all the factors mentioned above. The problem for me is in how to approach the problem. There's clearly multiple facets interacting, and I don't know which point deserves the most attention. Would addressing the tension with direct stimulation work, or does it require forming connections with human beings and having new experiences to unlock more of the self, or maybe some other factor I haven't considered. Interestingly, the release of tension from the head isn't just influenced by LSD. I've started taking wellbutrin, and it does feel like ~10% of the effect that LSD has had on my experience.

Sorry for the rant below, but i want to provide as much clarity and nuance as I can. So back in Feburary i had a peak experience on LSD, where it felt like there was a mass of tension in my head that was dissolved(for lack of a better term). I had done LSD before and never came close to this kind of experience. After the tension fully released, it felt like the top of my head literally opened up, and after that i felt a weird substance flow through my body. This led to the peak where i felt bliss flowing through my body, and surge of confidence, euphoria etc. Since then i've done a handful of trips, some of which i've gotten close to a similar release, but never quite to that degree. It's always the same pattern though, there's this tension in my head/face and the degree to which i can relieve it is the degree to which i break through into higher tier feeling and being. Even now while i'm sober(Not fully sober i'm on welbutrin (an amphetmaine anti-depressant that actually helps relieve the tension in my head a tiny amount), i can feel that same tension in my head, and when i meditate and breathe there is some kind of release, but nowhere near the point where i can fully release it and let it go. It also is related to my breathing, i've noticed for a while that i had some trouble breathing, and was constantly having sinus problems and nose bleeds. But when the tension release it feels like there's a mass of tension around my nose that is also released and my breathing clears up. I also noticed that I was able to more fully feel tension points in my body, and it was like I was more in tune and inside my body. I also noticed increase in coordination during these breakthrough trips (I'd say i'm mildy autistic given some coordination problems, and repetitive habits etc) So... a few concerns and thoughts I have on this situation are as follows: 1. I am chasing this peak or high, i've been doing this basically since the experience happened. I feel that same tension/pressure in my head while sober, and it feels like there is a block there. On the one hand it feels like i'm just chasing a high and this is just a dead end of self defeating behavior. On the other hand, there's clearly something to this knot and tension located in my head that is affecting me some major ways... it feels like my head is contracted( like much of my body) and for whatever reason the LSD opens the mind/head right up. 2. How do i resolve this conflict? On the one hand, i'm a drug addict chasing an LSD high. On the other hand, there's a contraction in my body (the head) and seeking a way to release the contract is a wise move. I'm a stiff person, i have a ton of tension in my shoulders, back, head etc but i wonder if the release of bliss and sort of astral body i get from releasing the knot in the head is normal? 3. The knot is also influenced by meditation and breathing. I've noticed that the few peak experiences I had, when i would breathe into the knot it would help loosen it up and facilitate the release. I've also noticed that when i used the zgochen technique of becoming aware of the experience of being aware, or turning attention towards it self, it has a big effect on the knot.

Yes, you could do it. But notice that you could surrender your life while you . See I've seen this attitude a lot of times and it just more ego. You don't need to go homeless or live at the mountains for the "total surrender", because you can surrender totally right now wherever you are in your life. And the question is, if you can't surrender your life right now, why do you think you will be able to do it when you are homeless? Can't you see it doesn't make sense? Stop projecting out to the system, culture...etc the only reason why you are not in "joyfully bliss" is because you cant surrender your life right now. Too much devilry. And the devil loves to project and self decept that when he goes homeless it would be able to surrender..lol. why not now?

How could you be a failure, what have you failed with, for me you are a great success because you're alive?. You're failing with being your true self, yes. But your thinking by being something else you will be happy, no. Realise that that is just a thought, hallucination or fantasy. You can truly enjoy who you are and how you are right now if you want to. But in a mind too indebted to ego this will take time to solve. How you solve this there is a million pieces of advice. I can name multiple and how to experience the highest states of living. But that is no good because probably only when actual survival is your only problem left in life then it's time to awaken or you have already awakened by then. We all experienced a long way of unleashing lots of ego and trying all the time to figure life out. If you want results you need to always try to evolve, not by doing, thinking and being the same way as before. But by changing all the time who you are... You just need to try and try and try, each time hoping you will get closer. Actually living to the fullest isn't that difficult. But who is ready to abandon ego and just soak into joy/energy and what you're consciousness really crave. You will be able to be outmost joyfull/ecstatic by yourself when you have awakened, now even eating will be difficult because you will have to use some energy to get up and eat... All of you will be focused into bliss/abandon of body/mind but not abandon of life energy, that you abandon close to death. There's so much to explain and talk about Awakening and how to get there, I can only gove you little advice, I don't have the time/will for more. So why do I do this when I can be at my best by myself? Because once you have everything only then can you be truly selfless. I do what is needed for the world. Which is my survival and the work towards every being being truly ecstatic. Once everyone is completely happy then my work is done in this world. Or once I decide to leave my body and become enlightened. Just try all the time to improve, however you can. Videos can help. Your entire experience of the world is within you as you know. So you are always alone, and how/who you are shouldn't be limited to a measly though or memory of experience. How you improve or upgrade yourself is all from within. So don't do it from the outside thinking external changes will fix all your problems and your experience of life. Though that will also be needed, just don't overvalue it or if you decide to do that. Then always learn when you figure out it doesn't work. That's my number one advice, always try to change/improve in some way and get a feel for what works and what doesn't work for you to become your possibility as a life. Then when ego is strong in one direction you will realise it isn't the right way to live and change, then when that doesn't work change again, and again, and again. For this you need to be life sensitive, have a good feel for your experiences of life and how you are like always right now in the moment. Limiting yourself from your true potential is needed sometimes. This is why survival will become a big problem for newly awakened people. For example going to school you can't be too happy otherwise they will kick you out of the classroom, but you need the class to et a job and earn enough for survival. Therefore you need to limit yourself but live as happily as you can within that system. Also don't take life to seriously or rather dont take your mind to seriously. You can't trust your mind because its very biased. Same for bodily needs, such as sex. Not the body nor the mind will in the end be the answer to the most pleasant ways of living. Sorry I wrote too much and so messy. Hope I didn't confuse or put some delusional ideas intp your heads. Learn about chakras, etheric body, sadhana, watch ego stages from actualized, watch sadhguru and do your best??

1 infinity is infinite possibilities which includes infinite levels and experiences of bliss and suffering , on one level suffering is in place so you maintain your survival so you can reach a point of awakening . You would never ask this question if suffering didn’t exist . Also bliss exists relative to pain to suffering you can’t know bliss without the contrast. There are infinite answers to this question. 2. Accepting what we are? Chasing happiness is what you are if that’s what your doing . The greatest happiness comes wen u fully accept what you are reality is and humans are . The miracle of existence at all. 3. Infinity... it must be how it is because it’s all ways (being a human inn our society is not a normal thing ) 4. Infinity includes all possibilities. Delusion is however a concept.

Here are my quick answers: 1) Suffering makes happiness/bliss possible. Suffering acts as the opposition against which happiness exists. 2) The same reason we play video games. Imagined identities make us chase. 3) To experience a part of the infinity, infinity has to become non-infinity. It is like that because you want it and because it wants to explore/play. In infinity, all the states are “limited”. 4) Infinity includes “delusion” but there is no one definition of delusion so all states of infinity are delusions. In human terms delusion is defined relative to a “base” state of consciousness/identity, otherwise there is no state that’s deluded. Hope that made sense.

Yeah the eternal abyss, alone there. Not only boring, also timeless and alone. I started this work because i wanted to solve my human problems, fix my suffering etc after making many mistakes. I wanted bliss joy and happiness in life. Then suddenly realizing it's not a problem. My whole life is a lie... Hell i did this to myself xDD Maybe after many good lifetimes one gets bored, tries something eh different I'm such a troll. Furthermore solipsism is a pain in the arse. Experiencing that doubt... But it's even crazier, consciousness really can compartmentalize itself. Lets imagine John over here and Dan. Then it takes those two meat suits and talks to itself. Damm DAMM People you think solipsism is scary, how about being the whole universe xDD And every single being simultaneously, being YOU Having sex with yourself, killing yourself, loving yourself, A dance a play, a melody of being For all eternity.

Modern Spirituality: *Anxiety is already happening in the field of infinite bliss and does not need to be cured, no practice required* *No practice IS the practice*

@Anon212 You need to watch 2 things: that your lack of motivation isn't flippant(you will change your mind/med passion will come back after leaving college and regret it) on the other side of the coin, if you have a genuine passion beyond college, college is a waste of time. You'll never be happy by chasing stuff. You'll be on a hedonic treadmill forever. Happiness comes from an amazing journey, enjoying the process of developing your career, rather than the destination. The best you could ever aim for in life is a blissful moment. Reason why people want loads of money is because the money isnt important, but the blissful moment and feeling of having that money is. The reason why guys want the hottest girl is because the bliss of the moment of having sex with her or being with her is the greatest thing on earth. Its not even her, it's the blissful moment of being with her - the same sort of moment monks feel while having nothing. It may feel like leaving college means leaving all of your materialistic wealth which = suffering. But the real suffering has nothing to do with the materialistic wealth you acquire, its got to do with whether you're feeling that blissful moment now. And you could be living in a tent because you're so poor, but if you're doing a job you really really love, you'll feel that bliss all the time, all day. Meanwhile your medicine colleagues are dying away, dreaming of having loads of money so that they can have that blissful moment that you've already got now. And then even with the money, they still dont have that blissful moment, because they don't like their jobs, have too much to loose and its too late to switch careers, and shitty health from the all nighters they pulled to get top marks.

@aurum Well according to Leo dating a 10/10 "supermodel" is the holy grail of dating. I know for a fact a lot of these supermodel women have worked as high-class escort girls working their way up the ladder. Of course this is kept under wraps as much as possible. And the supermodel would never admit this until the proof comes out. So what do I make of this? Ignorance is bliss?

Sooner or later we all awaken from the dream and realize the illusion of life and death. Then what? What will you say to the fears, what will you say to the times you took life seriously and limited your full potential and experience? You want to get back on the ride now when its all over? It doesn't work that way love. You chose to be a player of the game and then started to complain and postponed playing somewhere along the line because of the shit that happened to you? So what? Life happens to all of us, its how we respond to what makes the currents of life change. One of the greatest lessons Creation will teach you is that the mirror(universe) will never smile first. Victimhood mentality gets you nowhere, for what you resist, persists. Its Universal Law. And so as you stopped playing, you started aging and merely 'existing' in a dream, in limbo, in the greyness between living and non-living, taking things seriously, trying to be all high, mighty and spiritual, not realizing you couldn't be further from the truth. Trying to be something other than yourself, which only pushed you further into illusion, when there was nothing but you to begin with. Where are you going? What are you trying to achieve? You are already infinitely abundant! perfect, whole and complete as you are. You just do not see it because you are no longer here. You are no longer now. You have wondered elsewhere my dear. But in the Stillness of the Here and Now, mind and illusions eventually fade, and I AM presence, your True Awareness arises, and the whole universe becomes your Eternal playground once again, as you were when you took your first breath into the Dream and yet, not a second has passed since. I remember clearly who and what i am beyond this body/mind and that is pure presence, pure awareness, the experience i am experiencing here and now, stability, ecstasy, bliss, peace... Nothing exists outside of this moment, no tool, substance, ritual, partner, lover, act or behaviour is needed to be who you truly are, for this may all be an illusion, but the experience is very real. I sometimes wonder how can we even forget who and what we truly are, in reality, we only pretend we do because we no longer believe we are worthy. I will tell you one thing dear beloveds, if you were truly not worthy, you wouldn't be here, Period. Creation does not make mistakes. We are no different you and i, there is no place in existence you can hide from yourself, you cannot escape the Self. There is only Self. Paradoxically, the beings who are at most at peace within themselves today have usually suffered the most deeply because it takes true darkness to embody light. Use that to your advantage when you feel the whole world is crashing on you, know that your purpose is greater, for you are great, brilliant and of grand design. You are Divine in every aspect of the term. Do not settle, never settle. Never stop playing or you miss the point that Creation is ever playing, ever changing. Keep rising, keep flowing with the currents and ebbs of nature, you are eternal and never ending. Why accept temporary and trade it for Eternal? You are only tired because you are out of alignment with your innermost Truth, with who you truly are, but realize you cannot actually be out of alignment with your true self, but you can make it 'appear' so because you are infinitely powerful and creative, you have the free will to do so and create the illusion that you are not. So Go Crazy! Be Wild! Play as completely as the child, don't just walk here, Dance with Creation, Immerse yourself, entirely. Enjoy the ride, the play, the dance, the dream, while it lasts because one day you will awaken from it altogether. Love ~

About 5 years ago I decided to dedicate a considerable amount of time to self-improvement and raising the quality of my life internally. The time I dedicated to self-actualization was taken form time I could have spent doing something else. As a result, I didn't do as well in school as I probably could have and sometimes I wonder if I would be more successful if I took a more mainstream route. Some examples that articulate this are the following Instead of pushing myself super hard, I decided to take it a little easier in school so that I have time to contemplate and improve myself. I didn't think that getting caught up in a competitive, dog eat dog mindset would be healthy for me mentally or in terms of my success. I still wanted to take things and enjoy life instead of working myself to the bone at 15. I decided to take on activities that I genuinely enjoyed as opposed to what would make me successful in say college applications. Because of that, I suppose people wouldn't see me as "standing out as a leader" because of the types of activities I was focused in. I mainly focused on things that would make me happy and creative as opposed to something that didn't resonate and/or would have felt forced like debate (I just wasn't into it at the time). During college I immersed myself in therapy and self help work because I was dealing with serious trauma. My logic was that it's best if I dealt with this trauma early on instead of having the trauma sabotage me in the future. I limited the activities I took on in college and the amount of time I spent socializing. In other words I didn't see the typical college experience. My college experience was mainly me meditating and contemplating which were much more inward focused rather than doing things that were more outward focus such as socializing. Granted I ran into a handful of personal issues that I felt required me to take more time to myself instead of spread myself too thin, however, I could argue that most people who encounter something like this push through it any way and still focus their energy outwards and don't try to stop and be conscious of what's actually going on inside. At least from what i see, those people have more normal and successful lives but then again, I don't know these people and what's going on in their heads. This might be a case of the grass being greener on the other side. I've tried to hold my values and my desire for peace and authenticity over success. If I'm going to be honest, sometimes I don't know if I have made the right decision. Sometimes I look at people who haven't done this work and wonder if ignorance is bliss. Sometimes I wonder if I would have been more successful and fulfilled if I hadn't spent so much time contemplating and working on myself? Sometimes I also wonder if the work that I have done on myself will actually pay dividends and yield to even more success and fulfillment, may be not now, but down the line. What are yall's thoughts on this? Have yall experienced anything similar? Have yall had doubts on whether to continue self actualization in any part of the journey?

Yeah and also holy shit i'm the eternal void. The lies of bliss and heaven get you hooked and like a fish you get reeled in....

Oh yeah this enlightenment stuff sounds amazing. No anxiety, achieve cosmic bliss 24/7. Let's see what it's about....hmmm okay that was a little strange let me try again to see what's going on....Ah I'm confused, let me just reverse and re-evalua- HOLY SHIT I WANNA GO BACK. THE WORLD IS CROOKED, I DON'T MATTER, MY LIFE IS A LIE.

You have received some really good advice here. Make sure to act on it from the bottom of your heart. Make sure whatever you hold true is your bliss. Ending wage slavery could be an exciting purpose for you. However, remember that wage slavery is a state of mind. I would be more happy a teacher living to raise my students rather than building a classic business (excluding my LP) and going down the "capitalism-winner" rabbit hole. I used to crave all that passive freedom, but Ayahuasca has beaten the devil out of me like Bob Ross out of his brush. Each to their own.

Amazing video . And this is what the nuance behind these practices is, it's like the truth now people who fancy this idea of just using "psychedelics" for the expansion of consciousness beyond normal won't get. This related to the essence of your being. Now these practices is like short-circuit in an electric circuit, you get the maximum current terminal voltage being zero ( materially speaking) The essence of prakriti as he also mentioned It comprises of 3 qualities or gunas. Sattva, Rajas, Tamas Tamas- Action that is undertaken because of delusion, disregarding consequences, without considering loss or injury to others or self, is called Tamasic. So these practices would definitely escape you out of your normal consciousness to absolutely infinitum but you see the effect is gonna last only for some time, than you are back. Now, as per my current understanding two things are possible either you breakthrough to embody what you have experienced and for it you might have to go for multiple trip sessions to really figure out what it is, or otherwise you are trapped in the confusion of the radical difference of the two states, because you didn't maneuver step by step to reach that higher state of consciousness and hence is this trap or dilemma of what the fuck was it, here is where the role of a teacher comes in who let's you embody and figure out what the heck is it, now this is only possible if you are really serious to figure out the essence of your SELF. But as most people with their sloppy understanding and stupid approach to things in general, approach these substance in the same way too and hence will be screwed cause it takes responsibility to use such substances real understanding and awareness, yes they look fancy and stuff I get it but then every other thing is, that claims to pacify yourself that it will you give PEACE and BLISS and ECSTASY. That's why Teachers like these are vigilant to not recommend such products even if they know how radical and helpful they can be they would still prefer to not suggest these substances cause they feel they are liable and this what responsibility is all about it's about telling what's good for masses in general. That's why he assertively said what we need is more Sattvic quality which is nothing but the quality of balance, harmony, goodness, purity, universalizing, holistic, positive, peaceful, virtuous. That is it I don't say either it's good or bad that's totally subjective in my opinion, you and your experience will decide that for you who am I to tell you with full confidence whether they are good or bad to use such substances and I reckon no good teacher with some sense of responsiblity would do it amongst strange mass of people or where you don't know about every single individual you are putting forth your lesson to, there you talk in general sense, you prefer to sprinkle a glimpse of Bliss not the whole bottle of Bliss. You see some of these people are really smart.

Meh, he dismisses the power of the consciousness that is possible with something like 5-MeO or DMT or salvia. No way you will access that naturally through his meditation programs. Bliss and peace of mind is not the same thing as Infinite Consciousness and I gaurantee none of his students have accessed Infinite Consciousness. Of course they are not an ultimate solution. You will still have to do meditative work.

The Trap Of The Toxic Life Purpose https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ti0fl_TUUo The Trap Of The Toxic Life Purpose What is the point of life purpose? We live a life and if we don't take on a life purpose we live a toxic life purpose because of our default wiring Toxic Life Purpose - There is no mechanism in our society that aligns high paying job with maximum benefit to the society - If you don't consciously put effort into thinking about what kind of impact you want your life's work to have, we get swayed and have purpose chosen for us. That leads to following the toxic life purpose and harm human society and the collective - We all have to survive and if we don't have a conscious life purpose, the ego looks for the most convenient in terms of easiest, the highest paying or ideologically convenient (something that reinforces your existing world view) - Your mind has a need to have a sense of community and a sense of purpose and you don't have it, your ego-mind will want to have it. If you don't have it, it is just going to happen unconsciously, selfishly - We are gradually brainwashed by it which is why it is so deceptive - But at this moment, we can become aware of the fact that there is a void in our heart due to the lack of meaning and it's going to get filled one way or another. So you can decide to take conscious control of it and decide how you can fill it. - Think "what kind of impact do I want my life to have on the world?" - It takes years of trial and error. So give yourself time. - There is no quick fix. - The amount of time and effort you put in something, it pays proportional dividends. So choose wisely. - A conscious life purpose will not only remove all the suffering caused by some dead-end job but also, help you spiritually connect with the work and helps you stay in bliss - If you don't do it, not only do you have a gaping hole in your heart but also you are living with deep-seated misery and anger brewing inside of you because you cannot express that outside due to the negative consequences - In life, many of the important choices are chosen unconsciously - The hope is in the next five years, with the help of desire, you can figure it out and escape the wage slave - Check out the life purpose course! (It's actually good) - The key is to build a POWERFUL VISION

It is up to you. But be smart and rational about your decisions at such young age. They will define your environment in the future ( not completely but it matters, believe me). Ecstasy and bliss is great, but it is not permanent, it will fade. Eventually you will have to accept your human side, which involves being social, having sex, maybe even having kids, doing some work. Life is to be lived, dont dismiss it

Whether it has been described by others or is solely practiced by me I am not certain. Warning: Over the years, this has, in a way, cost me the ability to perform mathematics and process "technical aspects" of life. I perceive consciousness, imagination, and "following the bliss" as paramount. The more I descend into this powerful, yet simple practice, the less value I project onto ordinary, restricted activities such as mathematics. (Although, paradoxically, this technique is more down-to-earth than any other if we assume the meaning of down-to-earth to be "tranquil in the moment.") It's suitable for artists, for self-exploration, and for visualization in general. Here's how it works: Your visualization is already massive, infinite, and it's only being held down by your psychological constructs. That's all. The process you should apply when trying to visualize is to eliminate existing psychological boundaries. You are free to go anywhere, in any direction, to pursue the "w" axis of this world. When you usually try to visualize something, you are working upon preexisting framework of beliefs, which "slow the system down" if I may use the term. Each limiting belief is an axiom which clogs the mind. Attaining a powerful, transcendental visualization is simply about becoming aware of your limiting beliefs and dropping them down. What are the limiting beliefs in this case? You believe that you reside in the third dimension. This is a mental construct holding your visualization down. Why? Because everything you visualize with this belief in mind will be subdued by and fall under the concept of "a third dimension". You believe that you are a human - this is another belief clogging the card's memory, which could be better used on visualization. You believe that you are on Earth - this is another belief clogging the card's memory, which could be better used on visualization. When you let go of existing frameworks, your visualization will become a thousand times stronger. By default. You are constrained by useful survival notions. They bombard you constantly - constantly (notice the word) - unless you become aware of them and let them go. This is your golden ticket to Shangri-La; to visualizing and feeling whatever you need to. I use it in writing, but it can be applied in all sorts of fields.

Stupid. You're lazy. (Replace with politically correct words if you're sensitive) School is a joke, if you are serious you can go to school, do your chores and spend 6hours sitting on a cushion and bliss out. Learning is not bad, it brings you closer to god. I know school sucks for the most part, but just accept it as practicing suffering. Essentially you want to take a shortcut, it never works.

How do I explain my awakening. I can't, you let go of ego, there is no fear within you. You are the most ecstatic you have ever been in your life. Your mind doesn't work the same and thoughts won't talk to me, they will be me. Also you laugh a lot and the experience of joy is profound. Bodily sensations become something else, there is no attachment only life. It doesn't matter if my body feels pain or I have a strong headache. I will still be in the same joy if I remember right. Also every experience comes and goes all the time and thoughts etc is forgotten instantly, I just made sure to put awareness of the experience so that I could use it now so that I can experience it at any time when I'm free. If I would skipp that awareness I might have lost time completely and gotten into enlightenment who knows. I hope that's enough. I can reach this any time if I just let go lf ego but I need it to write to you - for survival. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. I don't need to just meditate, I've let go of ego in the most joyfull times with people and it was the same. It's just that I only allow myself for such bliss when its appropriate. And it's "never" appropriate in the school system. I would do many things in my life because when you are really happy then I can share that joy and help the world evolve. I would explore the world and do many things. Kinda like Sadhguru does but in my own way. I dont think I will experience much ego backlash because then ego is needed. Then I would just have to overcome that obstacle I would be experiencing and continue. Do you get me now?

Absolute nothingness, The void being conscious... It is weird to explain it with words... Basically it is a game god plays with itself, souls meat suits etc. That state is just being. No feelings, no suffering, no self just is. Not even bliss. Any feeling, perception and label is just a part of the illusion of duality. For me this is not a competition per say. Im only arguing with myself. This thing we are... The nothingness managed to imagine it is souls, then meat suits. I think it's even more complicated but with over 50 trips behind me i'm not in a competition who is more enlightened or not. I'm merely arguing with myself anyways. Suffering is also an illusion, everything is. Including happiness and love. You need other and a world to experience these things xDD Most people wouldn't be on this forum, if they were happy before hand. In fact if they had just a semblance of what they want in life they wouldn't pursue spirituality. I know this life won't make me happy and i know there is nothing in this life which has any meaning. People leave. Circumstances change, you can't keep anything, the only constants seem to be loneliness and change. So i don't really care either way. I don't even care that i'm god, as i can't change anything yet it is in this i find my prepation to truly let go of the self in death.

God really created hell for itself. I feel the same man. Suffering madness and hell without the bliss part :DDD This dream will end sooner or later ;d I will be free

There are many regular states that seem to be outside an average human's imagination. I'm in a state of bliss 24/7. But I have desires, suffering and madness.