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that's a good point. It was happening prior to the melatonin. Michael569 has some siddhis or something because 2-3 weeks ago I was getting very big spikes of adrenaline unhealthily often (clinically found) due to a psychospiritual phenomena. So it could be related to adrenaline. Diet I don't think is the problem because I've had a keto diet for ages now and this problem has only started happening now. I think adrenaline reduction tablets may be a good temporary fix until a deeper solution arises. I already have valium because the doctor gave it to me before due to the issue a few weeks ago but I don't want to use it that much. @integral thanks for the advice, in hindsight I came across as a bit of a smart ass because people usually aim for bliss which I forgot. Yes bliss is very good, but disruption from fatigue and lack of concentration from lack of sleep isn't good. In the past (from 2 yrs ago to a week ago) I use to eat like 2-4 chicken breasts a day, so got heaps of protein. Unfortunately that had 0 effect on whats going on.

been meditating for ages I do what the cool dudes adviata vedanta people do and meditate/contemplate 24/7 jks. I meditate all the time, but contemplate whenever I feel like it which is usually maybe 1-3 hours a day. excellent idea sure am, 20 carbs or less for the last 2 years woop woop (not advocating people do this, it can be unhealthy from a certain perspective, even though it works wonders for me). There's actually a bliss energy all the time, and it just gets much bigger at night, never thought it could be adrenaline or catecholamine from the low carbs. Nice. ketones keeping me up at night, im gonna tell all my low carb friends to show off A very informative video on why you should eat a keto diet:

I finally have positive news. After months of suicidal thoughts and depression, i made progress with meditation. I realized on the LSD trips, i was able to peak because of i changed my thoughts in response to the high and I felt more deeply then I do when i'm sober. The LSD forced me to feel deeply, and so i had to let go of thoughts like judgment, worry of past and future, and even thoughts related to who I am and the self. It's like the LSD allowed to get through a series of walls in my psyche, resulting in the breakthrough to a connection I've never felt with myself and the world, and literaly bliss flowing into me. I realized I can do all that while sober, it's just a little more difficult because I don't have the LSD heightening my feeling states. I can sit and meditate, and just feel what's there, I never did this before. I was always "trying" to meditate, and would either get frustrated and stop, or just power the session thinking i accomplished something. II realized i'll never get to connection and bliss through thinking and strategizing. It's literally as simple as sitting/laying down... feeling whatever arises and staying with those sensations and breathing into them. You have to surrender everything to your feeling. I haven't got to the same state I achieved through LSD, but i've gotten closer than i've ever gotten with this method. I even got close to full on tears. I found that the more I was able to relax and the deeper I was into the feelings and sensations, the easier it was to get close to crying. I don't know if this will last, i may end up suicidal again tmrw who knows, but this the closest i've gotten to reaching the peak i've been craving since my breakthrough trip in February.

No expectation, no chatter. No expectation means no fear, no chatter. If no chatter, you are in field of creator, the nature of creator is bliss, so you experience bliss. Truth is you are creator and part of infinite wealth, energy, intelligence, you need nothing, you have everything what is needed, so no expectation i.e. automatically no chatter. Abide in Truth, leave body, mind, intellect. From last 25 years, I am living with truth i.e. always in bliss, no chattering, no thought, no analysis, no doing. To transform abide with creator, continuously for 24/7 for 15 days. Keep doing as mentioned below and in a process you will feel joyful, blissful and ultimately become enlightened and attain moksh Being purified by his intelligence and controlling the mind with determination giving up the objects of sense gratification being freed from attachment and hatred one who lives in a secluded place who eats little who controls his body mind and power of speech who is always in trance who is detached, free from false ego, false strength, false pride, lust, anger, and acceptance of material things, free from false proprietorship, and peaceful —such a person is certainly elevated to the highest position and remains in Bliss, Paramanand forever. Once you do above in totality, in a process you suddenly start feeling joy within which keeps growing for longer and longer time. From here everything happens automatically and you remain in Bliss.

Do following and see the truth right now. Truth is here, right now. If you abide to reality, you can realize truth now within 1 minute. Keep doing as mentioned below and in a process you will feel joyful, blissful and ultimately become enlightened Being purified by his intelligence and controlling the mind with determination giving up the objects of sense gratification being freed from attachment and hatred one who lives in a secluded place who eats little who controls his body mind and power of speech who is always in trance who is detached, free from false ego, false strength, false pride, lust, anger, and acceptance of material things, free from false proprietorship, and peaceful —such a person is certainly elevated to the highest position and remains in Bliss, Paramanand forever. Once you do above in totality, in a process you suddenly start feeling joy within which keeps growing for longer and longer time. From here everything happens automatically and you remain in Bliss. Change your life style, implement above 100% for 15 days, you don't need anything from outside.

Keep doing as mentioned below and in a process you will feel joyful, blissful and ultimately become enlightened and attain moksh Being purified by his intelligence and controlling the mind with determination giving up the objects of sense gratification being freed from attachment and hatred one who lives in a secluded place who eats little who controls his body mind and power of speech who is always in trance who is detached, free from false ego, false strength, false pride, lust, anger, and acceptance of material things, free from false proprietorship, and peaceful —such a person is certainly elevated to the highest position and remains in Bliss, Paramanand forever. Once you do above in totality, in a process you suddenly start feeling joy within which keeps growing for longer and longer time. From here everything happens automatically and you remain in Bliss.

Is anyone here in the Apprenticeship-Phase and struggling with it? I struggle this Autumn so hard. I don't expect any easy Answers from you, but if you have something positive to reply I'm grateful;) I mostly want to share my thoughts because honestly my friends and family can't relate. My chosen Field is Programming. I choose it because I wanted to master Programming for Years, it pays the Bills and I can see how I can make a difference with the set of skills I'm mastering right now. The last one is critical. I learn it really good to do even cooler things in 5 Years. My LP is not defined but I would like to impact the Educational System positive, say with Top Notch Software. Now to the Problem! I work in a Software-Company since 2 Years and I start to become good. However, I have still Years to work until I'm a Master Programmer and at least 1 Year until I can work as a freelancer without struggling too hard. It honestly feels like I go no where. I'm bored! I have no impact in creative decision making and I feel like Times is running because I have way less time for everything else. My Solutions are so different that's hard to fit in and sometimes I feel i loose my Mojo when I conform to the Group Default. I had to give up a lot. I see two obvious POVs to this: 1. I have to leave to find my Bliss, 2. That's a damn fine opportunity to learn to be patient. But I don't know right now which is right.

@SoonHei So the thought arises on the 'screen': I'm the unchanging- I'm the sight / isness of this current thought which points at the unchanging Nothingness? I have trouble with this because I know I erroneously conceive as far as I know, of the screen having a mind or being intelligence, but clearly the mind isn't there. Mind implies a doer-ship. The screen showing Earth (my current experience) as intelligible and coherent, doesn't mean there's a mind that's intelligent. It's isness. Is the intelligence inferred on my part wrong, somewhere? Intelligence would belong to someone, and really, there's just fluffy stuff happening. So then if the Earth dream seems highly ordered, there's really no rhyme or reason still. Yet there's a clear path to pointing that there's a screen, God. Do you see what I mean? Truth is ascertainable. I guess I'm trying to grab Nothingness, myself, and corral it into a structure, because things appear which are coherent. But 'coherent' as opposed to what? Reality has no other reality to be inconsistent with, so the dream logic is unerring because well, it's not mechanically bound and is free. Unlimited. So there's just 'freedom' of a neverending moment with any type of content arising (because it wouldn't matter which kind of content arises.) Isness is the very presence of what's appearing? I still have the impression of it being like a ghost which generates the experience, but that's cause and effect, self and object. The worst part is I can barely figure out what my question is but I have my finger on something. It's like asking, "What determines what happens?" So that leads me to the nature of God, which it's said to be unconditional love, which permits. The dream nature takes on any form. Is it just full stop at this point? It's just maya spontaneously arising forever? The maya arising which is bliss/love (although to me it's not always easily recognizable), and sayonara, not much more to say? Tomorrow, I dream of being a reverberating asteroid with little there besides the sensation of moving through space? Then it's a rabbit being chased by a hawk? It's bizarre if that simply is what is, but that's what seems to be apparent. Sorry for the long post lol.

@Mvrs indeed dear One That's the whole journey To realize yourself as the screen, the unchanging. But the unchanging requires you to realize this while in form. While alive and thru a body and mind. "Die before you die and discover that what you are is beyond death" Then you finally take a seat in your eternal chair. As the witness consiousness. Being. Bliss. Eternity. Alive. Consious. Always On.

For your last meal eat high protein. Example beef steak. That should stop all that offal bliss your experiencing.

Hi guys for the past month or 2 whenever i sleep i feel a bliss that radiates everywhere and dissolving and then after a few hours i wake up feeling overly energised and can't get back to sleep. If i take melatonin to go back to sleep ill wake up again in another hour or 2. This is a considerable health risk because lack of sleep is disruptive to your daily activities, and in the long term. I feel energised when i wake up but this whole thing is causing very bad fatigue throughout the day. Doctors are fucked on the issue. Any help would be appreciated thanks.

HOME Anchored in spaceless Grounded in timeless Moving in stillness Abiding in silence Serene and peaceful Embodiment of 'this' Governed by Love Beauty and bliss Flow from the Source Streams of healing Here and now Is infinite Being Recognize, aside fear Not knowing is a blessing Surrender to the heart No need for guessing Nowhere else to go No one ever to be You're welcomed Home Here you're free By Natasha <3

"flaunting a big car/house, having a phony relationship, being super ambitious with money, chasing the capitalist corporate model" "being called a loser" Whose voice is this? I am playing the devil's advocate to the whole "become an entrepreneurship/social media influencer or you are a wage slave" bandwagon. Working for a corporation is often a living hell. BUT A Stage Purple person would be able to have ecstasy and bliss while even washing toilets for 8 hours. This is what is getting lost in the "Wage Slave' discussions. A Stage Purple person could be a "Wage Slave" and transform the entire corporation with their presence and influence. This is what I found interesting about Benjamin Smythe. He could have been making major $$$ as a spiritual teacher, if he went into the spiritual influencer route. But he turned his back on that and kept working at a local bike shop probably making minimum wage. Spiritual Growth does not mean being an entrepreneur or retired monk who lives in an aesthetically pleasing location haha Spiritual Growth is when "wherever you are, heaven is"...whether on an island meditating all day or washing toilets in a city for rich people.

What the phrase "Following your bliss" clicks in you? What you'd do if you aligned to that? It sounds like you have some limiting beliefs about dating/pickup, though. It is not over even after 30. Especially since you're in this forum and seem to follow Leo's stuff. The type of women you'd probably will like to associate yourself with will mature and be even more awesome with age. Consider these 35-40 vegan chicks, who do yoga and go on retreats. They usually look like they are 25 and super hot/sexy, probably will be much better in bed as well than your typical teenage/young 20s girl. Much more feminine and open. And you can always find young chicks even in your 30-40s if you're developing good enough, especially if you're developing spiritually and advance in meditation. Go see more older pickup artists who are into meditation (Like TNL, travelbum and so forth, even RSD owen nowadays, lol), they have pretty much 0 problem picking up a young chick if they want to. So i wouldn't be (1) In a such a rush and a hectic space of mind about these things and (2) feel like time is running out and that you'd miss the girs. You can bang chicks even at 60s if you do everything right. Take a look at folks like Mooji, for example. If we are to believe what they tell about him, he is fucking his students left and right and they seem to be very happy about it, because he is this grounded grandpa sage. I am sure you can be a sexy grandpa too, if you want

@soos_mite_ah it's like to watch this video about following your bliss idk but if I did what I wanted I would do nothing. So that's a no from me. @ivory yeah I'm thinking about switching majors

Try removing the image of what you are seeking. and stop chasing the happiness and bliss.. look for the absolute truth and don't settle for less. All your questions will suddenly disappear.

You are one inspiring dude! Totally in love with you. Chill. Relax. Take it naturally. As I said somewhere previously, the breathing impacts me differently compared to what I have heard from people. The tingling - and especially the cramps - are very real. I used to get them around the 20th minute when I started. Nowadays they appear at around the 60th minute. The profundity of the experience increases in the meantime, of course. Don't do anything harmful. I vaguely remember having cramps one day, yet I kept breathing, loosened the body & surrendered, and sort of overcame the cramp-mountain & reached a tranquil sea on the other side, where everything was peaceful once again. The funny thing is, I then sat up and looked around the room, but I was not in the third dimension anymore; that whole notion was deconstructed. So kinda awesome and mystical. My first-ever shamanic breathing session gave me tingles, yet I was too blind to notice the bliss, the revelation, the higher state. It was McKennitt's song Beneath a Phrygian Sky, while lying in the afterglow, at which I first gawked. Music is powerful, other-worldly, it guides you. Try if you haven't yet. And take it easy. You are already amazing. Love ya, man! @Loving Radiance I will. It became a part of my daily routine as a connection to the mystical, for I am not yet capable of basking in those states permanently. I will not update the thread anymore, though, unless I really feel like it.

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. ~ Eckhart Tolle If you don't have very strong emotions or very intense thoughts about something, you cannot get depressed. ~ Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev Life is rooted in reality, not in your thoughts and emotions. ~ Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them. ~ Eckhart Tolle The most beautiful moments in your life – moments of bliss, moments of joy, moments of ecstasy, moments of utter peace – were moments when you were not thinking about anything. You were just living. ~ Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

Lol bro I know you're not telling me anything new. Reality can be whatever we make it to be. I said I had an awakening that was exactly the same as what Leo described. I literally "I'm god?" and experienced godhood. Pure bliss and love. For eternity. That got boring. Look at my post history and you will see that I understand this truth very well. This whole forum is just god talking to itself.

Depends on the awakening. Exclaiming OMFG comes to mind. And/or Jaw may drop in awe and shock. Feelings of total Divine Bliss and Love that words will never do justice.

So, here I am with the rest of the insights and considerations! 2) I had another lucid dream (this one was horrific and made me scared af) I mean, how rare is it to have a lucid dream without techniques or such? Well, this is now the 3rd lucid dream in 3 nights (damn epic streak). And this was totally horrific, both for the dream content and for the insights (I remain skeptic). This was something Dark style (if you ever watched it on Netflix, you’ll know, what I mean). Let me tell you what I dreamed of. There were @billiesimon and I who made some tests in the dreams. Sometimes I was me and sometimes I was him. We would go back in particular moments where something specific happened, while being conscious that specific actions would cause that specific outcome. I/We tried then to do something else on purpose so that those outcomes would never happen. Well, it didn’t work out. Sooner or later the same outcomes happened again. The dream ended with @billiesimon cutting me to pieces (I felt the pain of being cut) to prove that I couldn’t escape what’s already written (in the original situation I was cut to pieces; rewinding it back, trying to escape and doing something else, brought the same result). I woke up with my hearth thumping in my chest and had to calm down for 10-15 minutes straight, before going back to sleep. What it practically means is (if it’s true) that life is already written, and we are just “re-living” that. This means we don’t have any control on our life, and everything is going exactly as expected. E.g. this would completely explain dejavus, which are moments when we feel we have already lived that. This is somehow disturbing, because this could mean we are already dead, and we are just apparently alive to live forever and ever the same things. On the other side, this means we are now allowed to detach ourselves from outcome, because it doesn’t matter what you do: it’s all already written. This also means that reality is a dream too. I remember Leo's video about it and by having so many lucid dreams in the last days, I am really starting to find truth in his words. I have already had glimpse of lucid dreams and other lucid dreams in my past which felt more real than reality itself. Some of them were damn magnificent. 3) My dissociation is becoming detachment I followed your suggestions and I am trying to listen more to myself and to my body. I notice I feel generally calm and mild lightness and joy. I am becoming more sponteneous and lighthearted. I laugh a lot, weree before I was a bit like the James Bond typ ála "k dude" or "cool story bro" and I could not really find humorism in some things. With these awakenings and insights I am getting, I am becoming slowly engaged in life itself. 4) My state is fluctuating and not stable Even if it seems that my detachment state is permanent, this state it's still fluctuating. I don't feel the same state all day long and there are particular moments, when I still feel some kind of pain-body. Still I notice an incredible rise in awareness, presence and non-reactivity, especially in situations where I usually would be triggered. 5) I feel reborn I feel like I was born again or that something was washed off my eyes. I feel I can now experiment with life and with myself and start living. I feel like as if you were visiting a new city for the first time. You look around, you observe details, you feel the energy of the place with enthusiasm. You are not in your mind, but enjoying visiting this new city. All my perceptions are augmented. All smells are richer. I can distinguish more flavors and enjoy their complexity. After raining, I can smell the smell of wet grass, moist soil, humidity in the air and other smells carried out from the wind. All sounds are fuller, all colors are more vibrant and colorful. There is more clarity and complexity in my perceptions. Everything feel different, but right, as if before it was the "false" way of perceiving. 6) Every day I discover something new I still haven't experienced the core of true awakening: Discovering who I really am, nothingness and that's all an illusion (perception). I am still not at that point, but I saw some signs here and there (e. g. nature who smiled at me, lucid dreams, some insights I had etc.) that make me think this is a big prelude to that giant insight. I am building up momentum and insights. I tried following your suggestions, but it still doesn't click in my direct experience. 7) There are feelings I don’t really know in my life I noticed there are feelings I felt not so much (or at all) in my life and I am looking for pratical ways to incorporate them in my life. Here is a list in no particular order: Union Unconditional Love 100% Integrity and Authenticity Freedom Bliss Forgiveness Radiance Passion Abundance Victor Joy Patience Humilty Gratitude Happiness Worthy Acceptance Playfullness Spontaneousness Serenity I am looking at what make me passionate. Spirituality, Self-Help and helpiing people make me really passionale and I want my Vision and my LP to encompass this. 8) I am trying to go with the flow and stop forcing awakenings I stopped overtechnicizing life, meditation and spirituality. I stopped relentless self-inquiry at once. Instead of meditating I am just "Being". I am trying to be patient, curious and spontaneous and don't go for the quick wins, but to relax and enjoy the process with trust that it will work. During work I am taking breaks to enjoy the present moment and I am focusing myself on one thing at once. When I eat, I eat. When I shit, I shit. When I be, I be. Today I trained in gym without music. Just trained. I want to experience things as they are. 9) I am showing gratitude for this gift Everything changed since I received this thing I cannot describe. It came at the right moment and I show actively gratitude for it. 10) Love is what we need I told myself these words under the tree and during another trip. Love is really what we need. Self-Love at first. Hope you liked it!

Productivity as a Part of Trauma Normally the observation I have made is that the more trauma I release and the more I work on my mental health, the more productive I become. However, I'm also thinking of the possibility of it being the other way around where I have trauma related to productivity. I have touched on this before in my "Smart=Safety" post where I discuss how I avoided doing certain tasks because I associated it with being unsafe. I also touched on the concept of undisciplined discipline. I always saw trauma as something that prevented me from working hard but now I'm also trying to see how trauma was created from working hard So basically: trauma-> not working hard vs. working hard -> trauma I have talked a lot of the first scenario but in this post I'll be talking about the second. Here are some contributing factors to the second category. 1. Late capitalism: Yesterday I went on about a whole thing internally of being a souless cog in the machine. I also have trauma related to being put in a competitive environment growing up and I began equating my sense of self with how much I could produce, well in this case how much work I could do. I realized that this was toxic and I swung waaay too far in the other direction. I also find myself being hopeless about the future. It appears as if late capitalism has made us all into drones. There are the middle class to poor people struggling to make ends meet and have fulfilling lives because in order to support themselves they need to dedicate their lives to work. I've also been exposed to rich people who pursue status even if they are well to do and have the choice to pursue a life purpose because they have been fed the notion of "you are what you own, you are what you make, and you are you're job position." Apart from chasing materialism a lot of these people also make themselves work crazy long hours in jobs they don't like and then that leads to the manifestation of dysfunction elsewhere in their lives. Its similar to seeing how the patriarchy is destructive towards men. Sure men get the better end of the stick just like the rich get the better end of capitalism but both parties are still psychologically affected and hurt from the system that benefits them at face value. Sometimes I also fantasize about being a housewife and remove myself from this situation all together. However, I know how that story ends and how that puts a strain on a relationship because of added obligations. It simply isn't sustainable. Even my escapist fantasy doesn't check out. It feels like there is no escape. I want to be in a place where I can be free both from the worries of how I'm going to support myself but also free to be creative and do what I want. Which leads me to the fourth scenario, being self employed and pursuing a life purpose. That is also something that seems scary to me. 2. Being afraid of hard work There is a part of me that is ashamed of being afraid of hard work. After all society always says things about glorifying working yourself to the bone. There was a period of time where I did work myself to the bone and I got the consequences from that. I was terribly burnt out and my mind just checked out one day. This went on from February 2019 all the way to about June 2019. I did learn a lot about myself and I learned to stop defining myself according to what I produce. But that period was also traumatic now that I think about it. It's like I want to coddle myself to avoid ever ending up like that again. Also my grades tanked during this time and I still have nightmares regarding that to this day. I also see hard work as pure resistance. I know that isn't true if I actually think about it. For instance, when I'm doing something I care about such as journaling, I can write a long post and not get tired afterwards. It aligns with what I genuinely want to do, therefore removing resistance. I can watch a lot of videos on personal development in one sitting with my absolute attention and not get tired. If anything it refreshes me. What is considered work and play are relative terms. I'm sure there are people who have tried to journal like this and have tried to dedicate themselves to self development but they find it exhausting work instead. There is also this quote that I'm trying to take into consideration which is something along the lines of "you're going to suffer regardless so you need to find what is worth suffering for." This quote is about finding a higher sense of purpose that makes the resistance worth it. While I am willing to agree with that, I would also add the notion of finding what kind of suffering feels like your bliss. . . . I guess both of these ultimately comes down to appreciating orange instead of only focusing on it's negatives and combining it with healthy green ideals of connection and gentleness to soften the discipline so that it doesn't become undisciplined discipline.

So, here I am! I want to share many things that happened to me yesterday and today that I realized. First, I want to describe, how I feel myself right now. Before going to the park and having that breakthrough, I felt confused and detached. After coming back, I felt more joyful and grounded on earth. I feel myself energetic, motivated and positive. I feel myself more full and "roundier". So, let's talk about my insights. I am dividing them into different topics so it's easier for you to read what you like. I am open to hear more from you (especially for the "I" topic, where I am a bit confused). 1) Misconceptions and confusion about "I": Who am I REALLY? I had yesterday three occasions where I noticed afterwards that there was something strange. The first occasion was as I cried out of joy at the park (see my post up here) I felt it was not me (the me identity) who cried, but someone other else. In fact I felt a distance between who was crying and the me identity. It was, as if my body cried on its own or that I have someone else inside of me who used the body in which I still partially identify myself to cry. The second occasion was after coming back home and having a discussion with my ex gf, who is still living with me. I felt that there was someone else who was angry at her (it was some pain body attack). In fact, as soon as I noticed it, I stopped immediately my behavior and preferred to do a step back instead of losing awareness, wasting time etc (it was a goalless discussion). The third occasion was yesterday, as I was talking with my best friend on the phone and we we were looking some funny guy on the internet. I laughed a lot. Much more than I usually would do for that. I felt it was not Vittorio who laughed, but someone else. And I felt it was natural to laugh so much. So it seems there are two different entities inside of me: one, the "bad" one, which is the one I identified myself with. This is the passive one, the resentful one etc. The other entity, the "good" one, is the one who is joyful, has understanding for the situation, is wise and know what's the best thing to do, can be present, can show gratitude, appreciation and joy (and much more). So, who am I? The "bad" one or the "good" one? Who governs me? What is "me"? Who is really speaking? The good or the bad entity? When I see at who am I, I see noone and nothing. It seems that my thoughts and everything I perceive come out of nowhere. If I close my eyes and focus on being, it seems as if all perceptions were in the same realm and if I were there in the middle, together with all these perceptions, in some kind of primordial soup and that's the true core of reality and what I am. 2) Ego was what brought me here, now I have to let it go to move forward To pursue enlightenment there must be some ego driven motivation to let the ball roll and start pursuing it. After a while, you'll understand that ego gets in your way and that will either slow you down or prevent you from reaching deeper awakenings. This means I must: Become aware of what's left of my ego and how it works Stop giving my ego attentions and letting me govern from it Be mindful and avoid mental chatter and monkey mind Understand which ways does my ego use to slow me down from awakening (e.g. sense of proudness, sense of moral superiority, sense of achievement etc.) Stay in the Being as long as possible and make it my standard condition 3) Stop feeling myself morally better and cool I understood why enlightened people don't want to talk about them as being enlightened. First, normal people don't understand at all what enlightenment is (and are not even interested). Second, telling someone who doesn't understand enlightenment that you are enlightened make you look a fool or "that strange guy". Third, this is a ego driven attitude to feel yourself morally better and cool and feel that sense of proudness and getting approval from others. This is a problem of mine, because I try to convey unconsciously and indirectly how cool, intellectual and insightful I am to get approval and recognition. This is only mind game and make my ego stronger. Rather, it's much better to feel humilty and gratitude for the gift you received. As I said, I have to let it go or to reach fuller awakenings. It's a tradeoff. I am more than happy to do this tradeoff, but it won't be easy. The biggest misconceptions about "living in the present moment": What do people understand I understand yesterday the biggest misconception about "living in the present moment". People understand it in these ways: There is only the present moment, so I don't have to mind about consequences and I can do everything I want (even bad stuff) I must always act right now, because there is no other moment than now Do you have any doubt? Hey, there is only the now, just do it (Nike style) Well, this is NOT what "living in the present moment" means. I understand in the next point why, by talking about Mind vs Being. 4) Mind vs Being I noticed that my monkey mind is something separated from me. I noticed that Being is separated from my monkey mind, but it's the "real" me. So I understood that the true core of living Reality is the Being and with Being I mean living reality in the present moment as it is, be feeling and living itself in a raw manner with all your perceptions without any distraction, monkey mind, projections or such. This is what "living in the present moment" really means. Living without wandering off with your mind. So there is Mind and there is Being and you have to learn to use them both properly to live good. If you are in your Mind, then you are not in your Being (and viceversa) Mind nullifies Being and Being nullifies Mind. That's why meditation turn off Mind. Because the focus is on the Being and not on the Mind anymore. Mind is neurotic and falsehood, Being is calm, happiness, Love and Truth. 5) Stop trying to understand everything and go with the flow I understood that I have to take it easy and stop trying to grasp everything with my mind. There will be the right time for me to deepen my understanding. 6) I must open myself more to life and to positive feelings I have to open myself up more to life, to Love, Passion, Joy, Gratitude and let it go. These things are actually missing in my life. I am not used to feel these things, if not sporadically. I have always been result centered and pragmatic (not materialist, only pragmatic) and did not enjoy the small things. This is why it was hard to me to find a Vision or a LP. Because LP and Vision are passion driven and need clarity. You cannot have any clarity, if you are super pragmatic and task oriented. That's one of the reasons why I felt lost for so much time and didn't have any sense of direction. Luckily I have more passion than before, but I feel there is much more to do here. 7) I am randomly waking up in the middle of the night This is the second night in a row I wake up around 4.30 AM in a state of high energy and presence (so no worries or anxiety). After a while insights start plowing in. I dunno why it happens (lol I just want to sleep). Does anybody know why exactly? Some monkey mind shows up too, so I must ground myself in Being and become as much present as possible and to relax myself. I actually relaxed myself so much that after 15 minutes I went into sleep and had a crazy lucid dream experience (the second one in two days). 8) I am having crazy lucid dream experiences I had yesterday and today crazy lucid dream experiences before fully waking up. This is the first one. Yesterday I was in this big space where it was a mixture between an open space/park and a house. While sleeping I became fully consciously that I was in a dream. I started testing the dream. I pinched my arms and I felt pain. I went then on a threadmill there and start running, to see if I got out of breath and tired. And yes, it was just like "normal" reality, but it was rather another reality. So I told to myself in my dream that that was so cool I had to wake up and tell my best friend @billiesimon about it. And I did exactly that. The second one was something stranger. I was aware I was "here" and "there" simultaneously. It was some creepy silent hill decadent setting. I understood this was some kind of symbolic dream, where I had to fully exorcise a specific fear from my past caused by a paranormal activity I had in my childhood. I exorcised it in a past trip, but it seems I am still not completely over it. This time I was motivated to face it once and for all. I had no fear and felt totally in control of myself. I was there to open this door and facing my fear. And then... I woke up. Lolz, badass. 9) Reality will show up to give you hints about who you really are This is something I discussed with my best friend @billiesimon. What he felt in his direct experience is that perceptions and events are there to let you notice who you really are. I felt something like that yesterday too. As I went to the park, I felt how everything was different, as if it were the first time I was visiting that park and that reality was popping up around me as I moved. I felt as if trees, branches, leaves and the entire universe were smiling at me and invited me to move further (= here I am and here you are). I smiled and kept walking I smiled at the sun and he shined brighter, warming me with his rays I noticed the magnificence, the abundance and the perfection of reality with every single leaf, branch and grass stems After a while I sat under a big tree, put my headphones on and listened to Beatles' song "Love is all you need" and focused on grounding myself in the present moment Few seconds later I started crying a lot. Crying out of deep Joy, Gratitude, Appreciation and Love to be alive and to experience Life and I understood for some time that our existence is magic, precious and frail. That's why we don't have to waste it and rather find our bliss in what we do and do what's make us the most passionate and joyful. 10) I am probably going to do a trip this weekend I want to deepen my awakening and to root myself more into being, thus opening myself up to a more stable, profound and permanent shift. My trip intention is reaching a deeper awakening and root myself more into Being permanently.

Any civilization that survives, will have to transcend the lower ego states into higher state of consciousness after it has mastered a level of technical ability. The ego is what suffers. If they don’t transcend the ego, they will self destruct. We are now at a stage where we have the technology to annihilate ourselves with nuclear weapons. If our consciousness does not evolve, we will destroy ourselves. There is no predetermined plan that says humanity has to survive. We can be one of the failures. Higher intelligence would be living in a state of bliss. It’s either bliss or death.

Please, contemplate what I'm about to write instead of pondering over it. You are not confused about your life purpose. You only believe you are. Your purpose shines like a beacon. Despite the treacherous sea, despite the raging waves, despite the thoughts which are trying to becloud it, the light ripples through. This is your calling. This is your bliss. You know, if the world was ending right now, I would play a game of chess and lick a lollipop. How random, yet perfectly aligned with mine. If thoughts are your armor, the life purpose is where your skin begins. Side note: I absolutely adore your profile picture. I do not know you, but you are my knight. You are such a hero for searching for your highest aspiration. I love it. Main note: Your life purpose does not wait somewhere in the future. Search into the depth of the present moment instead. Trust me. That is how I have found mine. By realizing I already have it. When you sit too close to a screen, you lose track of the surroundings. Same goes for your life purpose. Maybe it is too obvious, too pure to be true, too authentic to pursue. Do shamanic breathing. I wouldn't have found mine without it.