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@Breakingthewall infinite nothingness. If you are not 0 (nothing) you can never be with 1 and be 1, which is infinite nothingness. Rest is spiritual ego or business. Dont try to be rainbow cookie ?.

@Breakingthewall You are only getting started. There is much more to discover. Don't let the mind freak out too much. The nothingness is only one facet of a larger thing so keep exploring other facets. Try plugging instead of vaping.

What you call 'reality' exists of course, because you want it to. It's your dream. What is in front of me exists only because I'm dreaming it up. Unconsciously, most of the time, sure, but that's how I like it. You can't tickle yourself can you? Or surprise yourself? Haha. The funny thing is, you can and you do! Only you do it by imagining something 'that is not you' (your friend tickling you, or your girlfriend making a surprise party for you etc.) Look - you are fucking God. No need to speak of God as if God is some 3rd-person-outside-to-you. It is you! There is no duality! What you call duality is non-duality. Non-duality, duality. Let go of your mind games/logic-thinking/concepts/word-games and observe what is going on: it's all your dream. Your imagination. The coolest imagination is that in which I act like there exist something that is 'not-me' or 'out-of-my-control' -- that's very exciting, playful, very thrilling, fun...Love: that's 'other', that's you. God/I/You create apparent duality because of our non-dual nature. It's the only thing 'We' can "do", you see? We can only "do" duality. If We chose not to do anything then that's raw, pure, non-duality: total utterly empty nothingness/oneness. The funny thing is, it doesn't even matter if We do stuff or don't, it's still 'that' (nothing, imagination) if We do, and if We don't do, We do, because by not doing, in the totality of Our absolute emptiness We can't help but create...i.e. in absolute total nothingness exists naturally a potential for infinite dreams/things.

There is no reality or perception. All exist is nothing, and nothing can never be exist. Because of that it is nothing, therefore absolute. Infinite nothingness. Now.

Reality is the escape... In a way it's a realistic dream, its real because what you compare it with is nothingness.. Therefore it's the most real illusion there is.

The initial part of the experience is hellish for those I know who have had it (me included). Being absorbed into God isn't the same level as being embraced by God's Light -- the ecstatically beautiful experience of Lover and Beloved. Instead, it's like falling into a Black Hole where everything is sucked into nothingness except a Single Consciousness which is the one thing that exists. And you are It. There is an overwhelming loneliness and despair that comes with the awareness (which is also a tremendous sense of "remembering") that everything else -- all creation -- is a stupendous hallucination, a multidimensional holographic movie where the script writer, the producer, the director, all the actors, all the scenery and props -- it's all just One Being imagining it and pretending that it's real. http://web.archive.org/web/20130606091318/http://www.elcollie.com/st/god.html Not to mention the risk of psychosis,madness and feeling of unreality after these experiences... xDDD

Every word is not it. Because, IT IS NOTHING, which is you. Thats it. If you never learn you never born. God, consciousness, human, enlightenment, all is an illusion, including me and you (as self). These are all words. Just the SILENCE ITSELF. But be careful if you take yourself as real, you might get in big trouble at the future. Because nothingness can vanish you, and you as self try to bring yourself back, it might cost you major trauma . Trying to come back is an illusion. There is no coming back. Be careful my friend. Because when you go too deep, you can never come back.

Even the author there said he was in heavenly stages, Bliss and he fell into the void to finalize his awakening. Running away from bliss into nothingness what curious creatures we are.

No, it's something you are imagining I'm imagining The infinite regress to nothingness is not a bug, it's the prime feature. All roads lead to nothing and nowhere. Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

The answer is so clear. The mind likes to over-complicate a Lot of things when they are so simple... In deep sleep there is no such thing as anything.. None.. Zero..all is gone.. No consciousness no self no other no existence no non-existence no nothingness no deep sleep even. It's so clear. You can mentally masturbate your way around this.. But I choose to go with obvious shit.

no difference at all. What story do you want to believe in? I'd choose the story that maximizes your joy, happiness and outlook on your life. I do that myself, everything else seems rather silly. I could tell you there is direct experience/actuality behind it, but isn't that the case for all stories, all myths, including atheism? And what difference does it make to you if I say I'm following a belief system/3rd-part story or if there actually is actuality behind it? To you, it would still be hearsay in either case. Of course, to find out what is Absolutely True, you have to go beyond words, beyond beliefs. What is Absolutely True can't be explained with words, so of course I'm just having fun here, creating my own narrative, my own story. But of course there is actuality behind it. How could there not be? :> <3 All stories are stories. Everything that can be said with words is a story. The Absolute Truth of God/Nothingness/Love/Consciousness shows you that you are that itself: God, Nothing, Everything, Infinite Love/Consciousness. Thus you are in perfect control to create ANY story you want. No story is anymore true than any other story. Of course, some stories are more useful than other for particular things. Atheism/science is very bad at creating happiness, but is good at creating technology (which can help makes os happier in indirect ways). Religious stories are good at making us feel happy, but pretty bad at creating computers or medicine. Of course, the only story what will you make permanently infinitely happy is not a story, but the truth, which can't be put into words. It's right there in front of our eyes. God, Nothingness, Awareness whatever you wanna call the Absolute/Divine.

A byproduct of Centering Prayer meditation practice is 'objectless awareness' or non-conceptual awareness. To me if feels like a push beyond just plain inner silence. The range of human emotion has quite a spread. In the past I was especially bothered by constant neurotic internal dialogue. Just plain ole inner silence has felt like a blissful state of consciousness after months,, years, maybe where there was just confusion, no real understanding and often, a felt sense of meaninglessness. I'm still not above having negative states of consciousness, accompanied by too much thinking, slight paranoia with mumbles and argumentative jabs from the crew members of my ship of fools. The seas are just a little smoother than in the past. Excuse me please if I'm wearing out the allegory of the ship,,, It's an attempt at lightheartness concerning a serious state of affairs. It didn't really start that way for me but as time goes on, I find more and more depth to it. Maurice Nicoll's 1766 page Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky was so enjoyable to read that when I finished it I read it again just a few months later. This work has been condensed down to 130 Pages called Gems Of Wisdom, and its just one great quote after another. I'm not trying to sell anyone on the Fourth Way but just use what part of this that you find meaningful and leave the rest. I was just going to quote the first and third paragraph but I decided to just leave the 2nd in place even though it uses a specific term that may seem weird to some. Maybe not though. These quotes really seem applicable to the last couple of chapters. SEEING THE OPPOSITES “Try sometimes to see the opposite point of view to that which you hold...If the opposite is genuinely and with effort included in con- sciousness the sphere of consciousness is greatly increased and a number of unpleasant features in us disappear. Our one-sidedness, which causes our over-sensitive reactions and also our totally wrong ways of self-evaluation, is replaced by a broader, fuller consciousness. We can no longer insist we are right nor be cast down when proved to be wrong. We find it more difficult to be petty. In fact, we begin to escape from the prison of ourselves whose bars and gates result from our one-sidedness.” V. 5, p. 1521 THIRD FORCE “The Work teaches that there are three forces in every manifesta- tion. We see only two—if we see as far as that...Third Force lies between the opposites and so we can picture it as the mid-point of the pendulum-swing. If you take the feeling of ‘I’ out of both sides of the pendulum, then you do not feel yourself through the opposites and the feeling of ‘I’ moves to the centre, into nothingness, or, if you pre- fer, into not-somethingness. Here in the middle is the place or state where ‘Real I’ is.” V. 1, pp. 329-30 INNER SILENCE “Different ‘I’s, ranged along the orbit of the swing, wish to say now this and now that, as the light of consciousness touches them, wakes them to momentary life. To a limited extent one may permit them to speak, provided one has a distinct idea that neither side is right. Inner silence means being silent in oneself. It means not taking sides in yourself and so being silent. This is impossible if you identify with every ‘I.’ You may let talk take place on one side or the other, but you observe it and are in yourself silent.” V. 1, p. 334

When you say oneness, are you aware of your existence then, aware of your own awareness? Can you think during this time of oneness? Now that you have a profound experience, what would be your thoughts about Nothingness or Void that some people say they got stuck in during their experience which they say is existentially terrifying. where you scared in such manner at any point in your experience? Please refer to this first post on this page for what I'm referring to: When you say ceased, do you mean different from the oneness state? No awareness of even awareness? No thinking? no remembrance of any kind?

It's all imagination/dream/concept/ideas .... BUT: there are different layers/levels to this infinite dream of God/Love/Nothingness. The body, as well as all other apparant "material" forms is one layer of concept. Above this is apparant ego/person/separate self; it is even more abstract. Above this is family, community, society, global world, etc. Death *as a SUBJECIVE experience* is the shedding of all that isn't real. If your buddy dies, then this it is just you projecting out onto 'this world' that now some part of it has "died" , (your friend). This is just your own personal (selfish) interpretation of what is happening. You could as well say that your buddy got alive. It's a matter of perspective, narrative... what story do YOU want to create/hear? :-) You could as well just say that nothing is happening. It's just experience unfolding in infinity out of itself. This is nothingness. This is God. Love. The body is much more 'real' (but still unreal, still an imaginary distinction of infinity) than the ego. At least you can fucking see the body. The separate self, aka ego, is nowhere to be found:-) No ego disappear, cos there wasn't even an ego in the first place. All that disappear (during death) is the illusion of the ego ... the illusion of the separate self.

How do we integrate the outer life and the inner life What happens to the soul? The body reaches a peace point at death because it ceases to exist and is liberated from all suffering. It reaches to nothingness. It's over But the soul reaches peace when it reaches the purple state of spirituality, the state in which the spiritual forces are the strongest and the purest. It's a pure spiritual state. A state of bliss and freedom. A state of growth and peace and stability. A state of joyousness and pure love and compassion and truth and kindness and liberation. A state of eternal romance of light and love. Pure wisdom and Innocence. A captivating state that never gets boring. Pure beauty and rapture. A permanent state of joy, ecstacy, rapture, purity and eternity. Pure beauty. This is how it might look. A beautiful purple lake with a calming peaceful aesthetic. A purple rapture, a purple heaven. A place where your soul rests in true happiness, harmony and peace. Eternal rapture The body achieves peace when it's liberated from suffering at death. Because the body is temporary. It should be freed after eventual degradation. The soul is permanent, immortal, eternal and so it achieves peace when it reaches a state of eternal joy in the purple lake. The body is looking for peace. The soul is looking for joy. This conflict of interest ends at death.

Hello everyone, Yesterday I had my first experience with the magical substance we call 5-MeO-DMT (HCI). I’m usually not one to write or post about my experiences, however I decided that I wanted to post about this. Most of all because the posts in this forum helped me a lot with my research before trying this and I hope my experience might help other as well. After all, we’re all on this journey together. Prior psychedelics experience Mushrooms, ayahuasca Basic info Dose: 11mg RoA: Insufflated Setting: Alone, in my own house Music: None Preparing and taking the 5-MeO I had two free days of work to try this for the first time, my initial plan was to use on both days. But later I will explain why I won’t do that. On the day of using I had a normal breakfast in the morning and after that still ate a banana. I waited till at least three hours after the banana so that my empty stomach would hopefully prevent any possible nausea. This worked very well, I would rate the nausea of my trip a 1 on a scale of 0-10. As it’s not easy for me to find a sitter I decided to try it alone. The research I had done made me comfortable enough to this. For what I’ve read people said that 10-12mg is a good starting dose so I decided to start with 11mg for the first time to see how I would react. I prepared a room to be safe for doing this. I weighed the 11mg and divided this in 2 equal lines and snorted one line per nostril. As I’ve read here on the forum I snorted with little power, got it all up there and then massaged it into my nostrils. The burning sensation (before & after) I found very doable, I would say a 3 on a scale of 0-10. The onset At this point I was still sitting up straight, gently massaging it into the nostrils while leaning my head a bit forward. I was of course a bit excited for what was to come, but felt comfortable. After some minutes the first thing I felt was a deep ‘buzzing’ sensation in my awareness, in some way similar to that of mushroom. My ego immediately though ‘Oh shit, what have I done’. This made the sensation go away again. Therefore I decided to lay myself down on the matrass. I laid down in fetes position, because I wanted to prevent to possible suddenly be out of my body and puking. Slowly but surely it got more intense. My thoughts and mind started to be clearer, like there was less unnecessary noise. However my ego tried de desperately grasp around it. Trying to rationalise everything that happened. I spent some time still looking at my hand, in some way to stay connected to the ‘reality’ of the ego. In between I shortly sit up straight again, my ego was really trying to keep control of the body. I had shortly a moment that my teeth where clattering and felt a little of saliva going out of my mouth. I was still aware enough to brush it off with my hand and decided to lay down again and surrender to the sensation. The peak All this time I still had my eyes open. I was laying on my side and looking at the wall. I started to feel more and more distanced from my body (really couldn’t tell if it felt heavier or lighter). Because of this I also gave up on looking to my hand (which I was doing again) and laid it on the floor. I told my ego to just let go. I was no longer looking at the wall with focus, everything became a vague blur. The more I could let go the more intense everything became. I started to close my eyes. I felt that my consciousness was being taken elsewhere. The best way to describe it is the void was calling me. I felt but the tiniest fraction of this vast nothingness. It was not scary at all, it was pretty calming somehow. For a short moment there where 0 thought and no awareness of the body at all. However this was in no way calming for my ego. Who still desperately tried to survive. While I experienced this fraction of the void, my ego was yelling ‘Hey bro, are you sure you are still breathing?’ From the moment I closed my eyes to this moment felt like maybe 5-10 seconds (very hard to say for sure though, but this is what I’d estimate). The ego made me aware that I was no longer aware of the fact that I was breathing. The ego managed to ‘scare’ me enough so that it felt like I wasn’t breathing. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes (still laying sideways). It felt like I was pulled out of this nothingness with such great force and smacked back into the reality of the ego. In some way this felt slightly like being reborn (or coming back, I’m sure it’s nothing compared to how a full breakthrough feels). Even though I was only gone for a mere few seconds it felt amazing to feel the breath going in my lungs and being a bit aware of my body. My ego immediately tried to rationalize again. Trying to figure out if I really wasn’t breathing or if it was only a sensation. I read about this sensation before, I tried to accept that it was just part of the experience and that I should let go. The same thing happened a few times more, I would say 5-6 times in total. Every time the ego said on what felt like the very last moment ‘Dude, breathe!’ In the moment I felt like I wasn’t breathing I tried to feel if my body was breathing without my noticing it. In some way it felt like it did, but I couldn’t be sure. After I took these breaths I also didn’t feel too much out of breath. But it was also very hard to say how long these very short moments in the nothingness really were. These 5-6 times were very intense. It felt like I was jumping in between realms, however not fully leaving the realm of the ego. I obviously couldn’t let go. I wasn’t ready enough to die yet. I felt a mere fraction of what is out here and something told me that this was enough for today. The offset After this I went back to sitting up straight. I know I probably didn’t even go so deep, but man what a ride it was. When sitting up straight everything suddenly became so clear, how there is such a perfect harmony in everything. As others here also describe it, I would say this feeling was pure bliss. This feeling gave me many realizations. How controlling I am in life, how hard it is for me to let go of things I hold on to. All this suffering I do for myself, truly for no reason at all. Everything just made so much sense. It was such a calming feeling. I sat with my hands in my head, with a big smile and almost crying of some sort of relief. Man, what did I waste so much energy on unnecessary things. And what a big joke it just all was. I felt a lot of love. After some point I became more active with my body again. First moving my arms around a bit which felt great. A bit later I decided to go to the toilet and have a glass of water on the couch. I felt so at peace. I ate some fruit and it tasted much more intense than normally. My awareness was still really high and I just enjoyed watching the trees outside. This feeling slowly faded more, also as the ego was trying to get fully back and offering me to go do some chores. Since then I still feel much calmer than usual. The night after I’ve read about it here more often that people have some after affects while sleeping after using this substance. In the night after using I woke up a few times. This isn’t anything unusual for me, however the weird thing is that usually you don’t notice it that much. Now it felt like I want from deep sleep to fully awake in a mere second multiple times. Later in the night I woke up for longer. I was hearing voices talking. First I thought, is it the neighbours in their garden? But it was the middle of the night. When I focused on it, it got more and more intense. To at some point it felt like there was the chattering of a 100 people in my mind. I thought it was probably because of the 5-MeO and told myself to let it go. When I let it go, it was gone immediately. However these kind of sensations went on and off for some time, as I had to focus on not hearing things. It was a bit stressing, but nothing too much. Later in the night I still had a very intense dream and also a nightmare, however I’m not sure in how far this was related to the substance. Conclusion In conclusion I look back on a positive first trip which has already given me some important insights. I have to stop trying to control everything so much and allow myself to enjoy this beautiful dance. All the suffering I endure, I create myself. As I’ve described I first wanted to use the second day again. However, because of the breathing and the weird night sleep I first want to wait a bit with it. It doesn’t feel right today. First I want to see if the sleeping gets back to normal before I might make things worse. As for the breathing, I would also like to hear the opinion from experienced people here. I know that not everybody has this sensation, but is it okay to fully let go of it? I know Leo commented somewhere that this can be lethal at high dosages, but does this make it safe in normal dosages? I’ve read somewhere that this sensation is not a genuine or dangerous sensation (see Psychonaut-wiki). Of course I am aware that you shouldn’t take this if you’re not willing to let go. I want to treat this substance with the care and respect it needs and might have to consider to otherwise to find a sitter or to stop my journey. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this report and that I might be able to help some others by sharing this experience. I wish you all the best!

August 23rd 2020 Very first Psycadelic Trip. A lot of this trip is written down as it was happening, and also I came in after and elaborated on certain points so things made more sense. Intention: What is intuition? 1g cubensis Melmac dried magic mushrooms. (I'm definitely more sensitive to substances than the average individual, so this was a great starter dose.) Consumed via Lemon tek (soaked in lemon juice for 20 mins). Didn't taste anything bad. No taste at all really, just the lemon juice when I drank it. Spent extra time to chew it really well. Consumed on an empty stomach. Meditated for 20 minutes watching my thoughts. Made the lemon tek, mediated a bit more. Had a whole lot of anxiety that morning, really fearful of the unknown experience I was able to have. Consumed at 11:10 AM I turned on music and danced to 3 songs. By the third song my emotion really came through and I cried a bit in the emotion. The rest of the time was spent sitting on a couch in the sunroom in the house, I wanted to be close to nature while on this trip, rather than in my basement. As well I wanted to be close to my tripsitter. 30 mins in Grass breathing subtly. 40 minutes Looking at my hand and noticing how foreign it is. Jitteryness Fingers trembling. Noticing all the plumpness and discolouration in the hand. Feeling the shroom creeping in. 11 55 Feeling a strong need to lie down and surrender. There is a place that I fear to go. And it's hauntingly deep. Had that feeling of being sucked back into a dark place that I feared to go. It was very threatening. Probably the most difficult part of the trip here. I went into the open starfish formation to fully surrender, as well as verbally saying "I surrender" 12:00 Nauseous and sinking. Shit is funny. 12:10 Noticing every hair on my arm. The most subtle things in peeling a banana that would go unnoticed I'm noticing. All the nuances in peeling a banana is noticed. 12:15 Noticing how marbled in colour our hands are. Small subtle feelings of nausea. Wanting to move left and right swaying. Have a really hard time to control it. As much as I can throughout the trip I repeatedly ask the question: "What is intuition? What is intuition? What is intuition? What is intuition?" 12:18 Ability to make distinctions in colour has increased. At one point at the peak later, all the green leaves in the garden are the same bright green hue. Still subtle nausea. Strong feeling of being a monkey. Puckering my lips out, showing my teeth. Really noticing a different state of consciousness. I think that's something that's easy to misunderstand about a psycadelic. There's the visuals, but that's like the side effect. Like the heat that is produced from a light bulb; a side effect. The reality is still here but the projector that is me has changed. 12:23 Swirly pattern in the cushion expanding to the whole entire cushion and swaying, swaying. What you focus on, literally grows. My body is part of that swaying. The universe around me feels like an ocean and I'm being pushed by the waves. Really noticing patterns emerge from the cushion. Intuition is so deep. Slow. That's the feeling. It's a whole lot easier to use my voice to type this report while I'm in the middle of the trip. 12:27 Noticing a deep rhythm to the universe. I can see how easy it is to just want to stare at the grass and get lost. Because I know if I stare at something long enough it will start breathing. Just like the floors right now it's moving like a slow river. Hardwood floors flow into several opposite direction Skinny rivers. 12:30 I'm noticing Everything Is Beautiful more than you can imagine. >it's really working to navigate a trip well by saying everything is beautiful. 12:34 You are constantly basking in the sunlight shining on to you at all angles. Infinite hands coming and shielding my face when I close my eyes. Oh my God. 12:38 "Noticing all the patterns in the ceiling and how they are breathing yeah it's really not that bad man, I get Majestic and beautiful yeah holyshit I'm in it I'm in it I love how it's recording my voice while I say this too." Slow. Easy I ask my intuition what is intuition. It tells me to tilt my head up and surrender in the starfish position to open up my body, because my body is a vessel to receive consciousness. It's not even mine. It's not even MY body as my ego would like me to believe. 12:43 Increased trip intensity as I look at the hundred actual birds in my garden. What's the difference between authenticity and intuition? Tons and tons of giggling. I must call everything beautiful to sway this journey. 12:51 If I stare at something long enough it moves. Especially things that are very generic but consistent in pattern. They flow like a river. That's why floors flow. Nausea is gone. But I am a wave now. It's so fucking easy to get distracted haha. If I was an artist I have infinite vision right now. Everytime I close my eyes it's a new vision. Creativity is so enhanced it's something you have to experience to understand. Creativity skyrocketed. 1:00 I close my eyes I notice all the visions of the background of red to yellow. I open my eyes and it's white dominated. The colour White. And it's all moving subtly. I am the room. Reality is a mind fuck. How could we be so foolish the ground ourselves in materialism? It's all one conscious mind. There is no difference between the wall and the tree it's all part of the infinite field. Creativity is skyrocketed. 1:13 I can see that a glimpse of how much deeper I can go I must ask the question: What is consciousness? 1:20 Going to the washroom, walking with a bounce like an ape. 1:25 Intuition is just noticing the push that you are being pushed in. You noticing the waves around you as you are just a part of the ocean. Close my eyes against the pillow for a second. I'm noticing that the left and right eye are like two different Instagram filters. The left eye with the green filter and the right eye with a clear yellow one In order to understand intuition I must understand the infinite intelligence and consciousness. +++big peak+++ 1:41 What is consciousness? Consciousness is all of this that you see. It's so easy to just get distracted and play on Shrooms. 1:48 I've never seen my pupils so dilated. Every time I walk to the bathroom it's just such monkey like in the way I walk. +++ hallucinations are barely apparent now.+++ 1:51 Seeing that you got to be brave to go deep. 1:58 Feeling the now. 2:00 Sight and Sound are literally connected. I can see how that Duality collapses. It would be interesting to see how the movement of reality reacts to music, as I've heard the room moves with the music. 2:03 I can see how it is so easy to distract yourself and get addicted to this experience. It crosses my mind why even contemplate. But I've saw someone fall for that trap before when reading a trip report. So I need to keep getting back on that horse to contemplate. Right now I need to do that. 2:22 The Universe is there for you. The entire experience of eating a banana so funniest fucking thing. Sticking your tongue out, chewing with your mouth wide open, swishing it around in your cheeks. Complete monkey mode. Completely authentic. 2:29 Every action becomes a game. You're being more creative with chewing a banana. You're being more creative in just the way you breathe. Everything just becomes interesting as fuck. 2:37 I noticed looking back earlier on the trip, how I was avoiding the present by opening and closing my eyes. Avoiding going deep. Protecting myself. And I see on a higher dose this will be unavoidable. The eyes closed and the eyes open will collapse, it won't matter, you'll be thrusted into it. Why can't I contemplate Consciousness while rolling on the ground? Why do I have to sit here in a Lotus position? 2:43 I can see when you're given a new perspective, it's so easy to question convention. Because I'm experiencing that new perspective now. Open Mindedness to the sky. It's easy to consider things I would otherwise fear or see as silly to even think of questioning. Shrooms would totally naturally collapse conventional society as a whole. 2:46 "It's not even you when you are surrendering. It's just the way of tuning you into flowing into the water." > When you are surrendering, there is actually no "you" to surrender. You just dissolve the notion of you and merge with the ocean. 2:48 Realizing that the movements that are hallucinations is the duality of solid vs fluid collapsing. 2:52 It's a rule in reality that you must first cross the chasm to reach the field of flowers. This is what the trip feels like. 3:03 I think contemplation becomes very different. You don't think into it, you BE into it. Be as in being. instead of contemplating formally, you BEING into your BEING too solve your BEING. 3:26 Strong urge to drum. 3:36 You need to poke around reality in different ways to explore reality fully. Like rubbing your nose against a couch. 3:43 The barrier that stops me from rolling around in the dirt is a made up one. Why not have fun and just roll around in the dirt, in the love? 4:08 Much earlier I felt like a child playfully roaring at my dog that was growling. 4:54 Noticing the ability to take a strong good look at the burns in your vision after your stare at something too bright for too long. Rather than it escaping your eye when you try to look at it, I was able to get a good solid look at it. That was interesting. How was that even possible lol. 5:51 Noticing the ego clamping down on me with the notion of shame. ___ Visuals Experienced During the Trip A beautiful boat with swirly wood flowering along the sides. An infinite flow of RGB streaks. Infinite deer head with RGB outlines Infinite things. Like a dead wasp I was staring at, then closed my eyes, and it appeared into my vision in an infinite row. Infinite row of 1 foot sized alien bugs crawling up my leg. I noticed some dead bugs on the floor including wasps and bees, and when I close my eyes how an infinite row of wasps was in my vision. But it wasn't scary, it was just beautiful. Because all of reality of beauty. These infinite patterns showed up like two mirrors being put together. Through the red eye of seeing, being able to fly through the world with passing by pieces of consciousness manifesting. ~~Things I've noticed later on that happened earlier ~~ Hugging the chair I'm lying on. With whatever is happening, all I can say is "beautiful". Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. This was great for me to navigate my trip really well. Just everything in my Consciousness is beautiful. I learned how authentic I can really be. To be like a child in authenticy. To be like an ape in authenticy. There is no barrier between me and wanting to roll around in the dirt. That's just a made up one. I noticed how intuition is connected to Consciousness, and that I really needed to contemplate what is consciousness and how to tap into it to understand intuition. I saw intuition as a form of channeling. A light form of channeling. ___ I also had a notebook where I wrote this down. Here's what I wrote. What is intuition? A strong pull. A gut, chest, throat pull. Intuition is deep. Intuition shows you the cracks of light. But it's up to you to travel to the end of the tunnel to realize the entire light. To access intuition, you need to channel. You already are a channel, just open yourself up. It's the subtle ground you take for granted. Question that natural feeling coming from nothingness. Consciousness is an infinite ocean. Just tap into the ever-flowing Rhythm ___ ###Days After Report ### Increased authenticity. Even in the way I walk. Increased interest in realizing my greater identity. Realized this when I talk to other people I still feel alone, and remembering the theory that you are alone and you just create reality and people around you to feel as if you're not alone. How you actually create reality in such a way where you actually feel like you can have some connection with something other than you. But in the end it's only you. Increased interest in the ability to surrender. Increased open mindedness in what I need to surrender to in order to discover truth. Starting to get deeper into wonder about what reality is. Noticing more contentment with what is. Noticing more fascination with the seemingly mundane. I realize I need to be very centered to follow my intuitions Found it quite difficult to consistently Focus while on that trip, so I'm interested in what a research chemical would be like. ??? Questions ¿¿¿ Is it proper to contemplate differently while trying to feel and experience the deeper existential aspects of reality? Stuff that's beyond logic? For example, for the entire trip on inquiring into intuition, I didn't want to contemplate it logically at all, but rather just wanted to experience what came up when I asked the question. How did my trip go? Thoughts?

I think this disproves it logically as well, for people with enlightment experiences. https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=37104 Furthermore with people who visited the godhead and had a godhead experience,being it.... Well many people report a similiar problem. They experienced being god only by themselves, after which they were inflated to see that only they were god... It could be the chemical inflating the person's ego to godhead.It could be a mechanism by which the ego survives, the trickster is your own mind. True god is the void the nothingness projecting spaciousness which is infinite .When one is that spaciousness he is all at once. I think it could be several godheads if it wanted hahah. Anyway this is my last post here on this topic, for me solipsism is nonesense, THE BEST ARGUMENT as many have said it's an idea that exists in duality, you stop thinking it and it has no reality. Cheers

@DrewNows I thought so too! Credit goes to Doctor Jim. Learning different typologies helps me to integrate. By observing my reactive and automatic behaviors and giving a good look at what the triggers are. I may catch it before it manifests outwardly next time. ,,,, Sometimes,,, Too many people only use their enneatype as something to continually verify and identify with. It can be so much more. A way to go beyond one's automatic behavior. Analysis paralysis is a phrase associated with Enneatype sixes. Which seems to be my chief feature. Because Arnold Keyserling was a riotous universal heretic, sometimes in disguise, and became a bad/good influence on a young lawyer named Ralph Losey in the early 70's, they chose to number their version of Enneagram differently. If questioned about this. They might say "Oh, that's just to make it more difficult.,,, Huh?? The following is their description of my enneatype based on categories of language which coorelates with the usual 6 given by Palmer, Riso, and Hudson. Actually this is a typology based on what I call the Keyserling Wheel. To me it seems to combine the Enneagram and the Astrological wheel in a strange way that puts me into a weird space of having the feeling of comprehension of it almost at my fingertips and just beyond grasp. ANALYZE/DISTINGUISH: SPIRIT-SENSING. The adjective - 5 - pertains to analysis, to distinguishing one from another. Its archetypal symbol or myth is Mercury. Mercury involves qualitative discernment and the impulse to judge and rate. It is the "either-or" dissective counterpoint to "both-and" synthesis. The complementary impulse is the first, healing synthesis. The personality type is called the "Status Seeker" or "Performer" or "Motivator". They can be narcissistic, deceptive and pretentious, more concerned with the appearances and trappings of success in their work than with real accomplishments. They are frequently self- assured and energetic, but often too quick to accept the easy answer to a problem, and try to succeed in work through narrow specialization, frequently failing to see the forest for the trees. They tend to be the "Type A" personalities who are ambitious, overly-competitive or "work-aholics". They can also be genuinely-productive, authentic, good motivators and promoters, efficient, knowledgeable and accepting of their limitations, with many outstanding inner qualities and good judgment. from http://www.chanceandchoice.com/course-overview/time-cycles/ Below are some of Arnold Keyserling's poems and ,,,,, prophesies, for lack of a better word. Community of Joy Whoever trusts in himself, and respects every friend as a co-worker, will find a community of joy, which in the past was a rare exception and the lot of only a few. from https://schoolofwisdom.com/ Transformation Your transformation can begin immediately. The first step of transformation is the observation of N O T H I N G N E S S, of the interval. The Nothingness is true existence. Until now you have only valued the experience, instead of the interval. The secret of your strength lies in the interval between the shapes and experiences which inhabit your being. Meaning You will come to your senses and discover yourself, when you finally and forever abandon self-pity and self-criticism. Love The essential experience is and remains love. It can’t be induced by sensorial perception because in order for it to penetrate inwardly and emanate outwardly one must be ready for it. Love is the medium of life to be attained, to feel at home with it and through it to examine and govern all phenomena. Whoever opens himself up to the river of love loses his home: he exists in the Universe. Sadness and darkness are no less powerful than laughter and jesting. But in the river man is truly man, he is the master of himself, speaking with things without harming their sacred quality. Wait for the fulfillment of pleasure. This expectation alone produces this openness whereby love flows through all four gates and your center of being is included in the divine circular dance of happiness. Love reaches from the body to the last star, it is a bond which endures. One can never forsake love. Love is omnipresent, it is all consuming, it is all knowing. When there is a lack of awareness, love is destroyed. Love requires your complete participation. L O V E is fullness in equilibrium, letting go, always forgiving, giving, never confining, being aware, valuing that which is real once the dross has been burned away. Love conquers. It creates beautiful things, it is truthful, it exists in harmony with all beings, it protects and preserves values from alienation, it seeks nothing, yet finds all. Seek the dark love as the path to joy and light. Love means to accept the way things appear and let live. Love comes from the fullness of being. It is neither spiritual nor holy. It is God’s gift to reality. Remain true to this one command: love as a pledge of reality. The opposition of the lazy can only be broken with love. Love doesn’t mean grace any longer. It means being a part of the primal vibration of the universe. It is not something that you do, rather something that flows through you. You can’t cultivate love. Love cultivates you, once you open yourself up to it. It surrounds everything; without love there is no motion.

@dflores321 it is the bottom of ego, dissolving the nothingness. At that part is killing yourself. No more than that. Schizophrenia, suicadal thoughts, highest level mood swinging and ending with going crazy, which can cause suicede. Because ego sees it is an completely illusion, which is me that writing these sentences. These sentences are you, and me. Because we are one. All is one, one is ALL.

perception implies a subject-object-duality . All that you can perceive is dependent on a subject perceiving an object (thought, body, emotion, tree, whatever). But when you get deep into non-duality you begin to understand that the distinction between subject (me, ego, self) and object (other or body or world) is artificial; it isn't grounded in anything true. The apparent (illusory) dualites of life exist only to serve survival. It's all one/nothing when you get to the bottom of it (if you dare to, hehe). This will destroy you, absolutely. All boundaries must collapse. The Self (God/Nothingness/Infinite Love) isn't something that can be perceived or found. Because it is ALWAYS the case. Everything is *THAT*, -- You are That -- and it is absolutely empty. It's right in front of your eyes... not to be perceived, but to BE. In fact, perception, and your constant insisting on trying to conclude something 'true' about yourself, or the world, is what hinders you from 'becoming IT' (though you already are it). Everything is the Pure Infinite Love-state. To seek it is to lose it. What hinders one in getting carried away? That one is trying to get to something 'true'. To get to the truth is to get carried away. To get carried away IS the truth ... - what else is there to do? Lose yourself to find Yourself.

@Leo Gura Nothingness summons nothingness himself.

After awakening, schizophrenic thoughts raise up, i realize them and watch them. I am the schizophrenia, as much as it increases, awakening becomes more more more more more more. Love love love. No self, no self, no self. freedom, freedom, freedom. Nothingness, nothingness and nothingness. but if you take schizophrenic feeling as personal and hold on them, such as you are a person and having schizophrenia, you might suicide. Be very very very very careful.

Yes it is a Dream. Formlessness is Pure Love yes it is ephemeral but it is not empty Void. Nothingness in completelly empty sense. Formless=Form Problem is and for 99.9% is "they" only know form. Creates various sorts of misunderstandings about Reality.

Hello friends, I wanted to bring you something I became directly conscious of during a mystical experience. This was what clicked everything into place and finally understood the nature of reality at a deeper level. Let's begin. First, become conscious that your entire visual field surrounds you and encompasses everything near you. Good, now look at yourself in a mirror, and look into your eyes. You will actually see yourself in there, though much smaller. In general, you assume that your eyes are collecting light from the sun and other sources, then transmitting it to the brain. The light in your eyes, is all there is. Let me repeat that because it is very significant. What you perceive as light entering your eyes is actually the complete opposite. The light in your eyes is not coming from an outside source. You are projecting or birthing shapeshifting light from the void. Pure being. No physical world in between (See attached picture) EVERYTHING you see is an appearance of this light. Your body, other people, your mom, the world, the stars, etc. All You. There is no physical sun illuminating the scene and then hitting your eyes. You “think” it’s your visual field but it’s simply light dancing around in nothingness. Almost like a black hole watching it’s event horizon. What you are "reading" or "seeing" right this minute, is just an appearance of light in your eyes. There is nothing behind what you see. Nothing is hidden. You project others, and they project you. This ties in with Quantum mechanics which states matter does not exist unless it is observed. Awakening during this realization was EPIC. We're just pools of possibility / infinity spontaneously creating light to give you the illusion of an "outside" world, when in reality, all you have is this perceptual bubble.