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@Leo Gura Yes, Leo, your intuition is correct, when you dissolve into infinite love/void/self, you will bring everything with you. In absolute existence, your love gets more and more infinite, the infinity of infinity of infinity and so on endlessly. Until you get so infinite that all existence begins to accelerate more and more infinitely, and as the whole, you finally return to one. Then you would reach non-existence/god. All the dimensions, all the universe, all the people, all the being, would merge back to absolute nothing—no time, no space, not even nothingness. In here, you are truly god without limit, since you are no longer separated. Whole, absolute love, all you can experience is love, infinite of it, you are it, forever. You realize you are always here, being you. But because you are absolute formlessness, in eternity, you will become so formless that form begins to shape into being through your infinite creativity and love. This then will explode and accelerate back into infinite existence, and just like how you destroyed the whole existence to merge to one, you then instantly create all existence at once—going back to your being as a separate self. And when you come back, you will realize why you are here, because the infinite love you have is so infinite that you wanted to become separated from nothingness and exist as something, and love yourself infinitely as separate-selves. And we as this, will continue to repeat this infinite loop of love because we can, because we are. Also, similarly, after coming back, the state of infinite existence stayed for at least three weeks before dying down. You would see and experience reality in god consciousness, and especially during sleep. You can go back to non-existence again during sleep(And you do, all the time, you just are not conscious enough to remember). It is like tripping 24-7, but the intensity slowly goes down. Another thing after going all the way is you realize that you are never not whole, you are never not that infinite void, you are always it, even when you choose not to, because you are all. To god/you, this whole process is like a game, anything that can exist and all that can't exist can become existence through your power. Everything is just you loving yourself in infinite ways and infinite degrees. Creating and destroying the entire existence is so effortless because of how much love you have and what you are.

Here is a complete nondual theory of everything that explains how there is "physical reality" from nothingness. There is actually no physical reality. All reality that you can be aware of right now is happening only in a mind-space - as your sense perceptions. Notice that you do not notice matter right now, you notice sensations and perceptions. Now, since those sensations and perceptions are made out of Mind, we can call them illusory. But there is something real here which knows those sensations and perceptions. That's called you. But that you is empty of content, the content is the illusory bit (mind stuff) mentioned earlier. Real Formlessness -> The you that is empty from objects, not even an I-thought object in it. This one's reality can be verified directly as that in experience which never changes. Illusory Form -> All the perceptions, conceptions and sensations that appear to make up a solid world made out of matter. Real formlessness + Illusory Form appears as Real Form. The Illusory Form borrows reality from the Real Formless and the Real Formless enjoys the play of illusory forms. Tadaaaaa (as Leo likes to say ) When the two merge, they are inseparable just like when you put cocoa in milk, the two will merge into one drink, which is better than both parts alone. PS: But notice please why this is totally Nondual! The Real Formlessness = Nothing and Illusory Form = Nothing, so these two fish that are swimming together are actually the same No-fish (nothing) just looked from a different perspective. I hope someone gets this and/or resonates with this because to me it's so damn beautiful.

@Inliytened1 Thank you! I did have a few minor insights into nothingness. Nothing (lol) sustainable yet though. The most obvious one I had was on a mushroom trip and I was just laying in a hammock in the middle of the woods - I was feeling my whole body along with the universe seem to just evaporate into nothing. Sort of freaked me out but I ended up just trying to embrace it and let go.

I'm just making a confession of what I'm experiencing. The following might be classical spiritual concepts but I'm not just parroting them.. These are my living experience. - I am not the doer.. when I raise my hand like this✋.. I'm not doing it. - I am not the thinker. - I have absolutely zero control over absolutely everything that's going on in this body.. mind.. and the world - I am not my name. I am not this body. I am not a thought (self-image). -this body came to this earth to do whatever it came here to do. It's absolutely inevitable. But I have nothing to do with it for I am not this body.. I am not the mind.. I am not this world. -there is absolutely no point or purpose that I'm here for. There is absolutely nothing to do. Yet everything will get done regardless. No rush. Nothing to do.. and forever to do it.. and infinity to be done. - there is absolutely nothing that I have to do. I'm absolutely free perfect and complete however I am. Everything that could ever possibly happen is perfectly perfect. -all that there is.. Is being. The goal of my life is to just exist. To be . And I can't fail at it even if I wanted to. - my real nature is indescribable. The only word that can get close to represent my real nature is nothingness. -what this world is.. Is a Flux.. A mirage as soon as you catch it.. It dissolves. It's nothing. This infinite magnificent world is nothing. Therefore there is nothing to get to achieve.. and nothing to fear.. Just chilling. - I am nothingness. and there is nothing but me as nothingness. And nothingness is the only real thing. And this is the ultimate truth.

You are saying the same thing. Pointing to the same "meaning". It's just a technical difference in how you frame it and what meanings you imagine to the word "awareness". Ultimately there isn't a nothingness and a awareness and a appearance.. A dream and a sleep.. A world and duality and a you and a "aware of X"... These are all one" thing ".. There is just nothing. And not even. But because the mind can't sit still.. it imagines all sorts of non-existent things to constantly construct" reality". Because there is no Reality except to nothing. And not even to "that ". Because your mind will also again imagine "nothing" as a something. When it's nothing lol. See we could go like this forever.. The mind has to stop.. A radical shift. MUST happen to grasp what is being "pointed at" here.. Not the pointer itself. For the map is not the territory. Well if you truly understand what you're saying here.. You will see you are doing exactly that. All pointers are just pointers. the moon is not the finger. What I described as how nothing is the truth.. Is not the actuality of it. In the realm of words and language.. You can only point.. You can only go so far. Silence is the highest teaching.

you speak the truth but still you are not waking up you are always awake. If you dont take yourself to be the appearances, but that space you are so masterfully referring to, then you are not waking up. On second read, you are saying something wrong imo.. The state of nothingness is the same as the state of empty awareness. It's not awareness happening in nothingness. There is no such thing beyond awareness. In deep sleep this is what it's like to be empty awareness, without objects. It's not the experience of nothingness without awareness. If you were not aware, how do you know you were in deep sleep? Bro stop doing this here, you aint waking up nobody ever wakes up. If truth is found you will know you're not waking up. The Truth is impersonal. Stop grasping

A classical one. See the trick is what is "consciousness"? If you define consciousness as sight sound touch smell etc.. That's definitely will be absent. Just like in deep sleep. But the problem is we identify ourselves with these temporary appearances when we are actually the ever-present emptiness that contains everything inside of it. So you wake up in the morning.. Sight sound touch smell.. A body and a world appear.. They appear inside of what ??? Inside of awareness.. For if there wasn't An awareness that is prior to these appearances.. Where else can they appear "within"??? .. Ok so in deep sleep there isnt even awareness.. That's right.. Deep sleep is the sate of nothingness.. That's your real nature.. That's who you really are.. That's the only thing that doesn't come and go.. Ever-present.. Therefore the most real state of being is the state of nothing.. The most fundamental state of being is the state of nothing .... And" within" this nothing appears awareness.. And within this awareness appears all sorts of dreams... The waking dream and the sleeping dreams. Are just temporary appearances within the ever - present nothingness. Very helpful.

Amazing report, I resonate a lot with this experience, definitely sounds familiar to my 250ug trip, even the picture you posted looks similar to the vision I had, except instead it was an infinite geometric column of Buddhas expanding in all directions for eternity as the light got brighter and brighter until I completely and totally dissolved into nothingness, but the nothingness was pure light, pure consciousness; the very essence of one's being. During such a process you see all the fears and insecurities the ego creates and realise it to be nothing but barriers from you experiencing god, with the ultimate solution being a state of total and complete surrender/letting go. THIS! Haha I'm still in the same position you are, and whilst contemplation is utterly crucial I found these 2 guides useful for getting back to that state of "pure being", if it wasn't for these guides I would've completely forgotten what the hell "pure being" even means. Maybe it isn't for everybody but I find that state of total non-doership to be the easiest way to empty the mind and subsequently have these sorts of experiences, albeit to a milder extent. Extremely peaceful though. When the mind is completely silent this essence simply reveals itself of its own accord, without the ego having to get in the way whatsoever.

Is carrying a body a burden or a bliss? Well if you ask me it's a burden. I discovered that I am eternal perfect needless soul. Desirlessness content ever-present perfection that is always hiding behind the surface of the world of forms. Maya . That's my real nature. I just did it. I made that discovery without any psychedelics.. Just good old meditation and observing the world of forms floating around the eternal nothingness at the center. The soul is identified with an imaginary temporary physical avatar.. For a while. Not for long time but for a while. The more I recognize my true nature and then compare it to the body.. The more I see the body as a burden. A burden that I have to carry on for my whole life. Babysitting this body. Task after task. Feed me. Please Me. Rest me. Move me. Clean me. Over and over again. A chore after a chore. Until I fall dead after reaching the limit of exhaustion. A house of diseases. A house of desires. The never-ending desire that doesn't amount to anything other than the multiplication of itself and the expansion of disappointment. A house of needs. A house of lacking and constant aiming. The mind can be at ease. The soul can just be content in the now. The body has to perform effort and chase after it's "needs". There seems to be a conflict between the body and the soul. The nature of limitation VS unlimitedness. "oh you don't have to think of it this way and be pessimistic.. The body is the house of God". Yeah yeah yeah.. The ghost in the machine. This is dualism. The body is a burden. For God to exhaust himself and start seeking breaking free from the temporary limitations that he decided to reincarnate in. Any thoughts on how to help myself change this perspective?

I'm experiencing it as a desire. no . But it appears that way. Not necessarily. Within awareness. Itself. A body is a body. A bird is a bird.yada Yada.. Because Wherever I go. It's here with me. Unlike anything else Awareness. Or nothingness. Or the ego (which doesn't exist). Or I don't know. It can't be said.

Today I did a small dose of 5 meo, i was between the frontier of the no-thing and the thing, the no-time and the time. In a moment I was in the no time, after in the time, in a moment the illusion shows like it is: nothingness, a moment later like solid reality. So the nothingness and the illusion are the same, are together, glued

But the Self is Here, there is nothing other than the formless Self right now. There is an object that APPEARS to be you, doing things in an apparent world. Both the character and the world are witnessed by the Self. All of the states are objects to the Self. The Self is the container, the prerequisite for anything to be there and be known. But it itself can never be known, it can only be "beinged". A good contemplation to see what I mean is to inspect your experience during a dream at night and to see how easily you can be fooled into believing that you are a different character - the character in your dream is different to your waking character. Both of which are not you. You are that which knows the states of Dreaming and Waking. You are that which remains in deep sleep when all objects are gone. Don't underestimate nothingness - it's not really nothing in the sense that it is not there, it's God, it is everything.

The very question "Where does change come from?" is implying that you are asking in the realm of time. In the realm where things have a beginning and an end. But this is just imagination. There is not really change in reality. There is only nothing. All change is just an appearance of change, it borrows reality from the changeless eternal subject. But there is also benefit here for the changeless eternal subject, because it enjoys those illusions of change. That's probably why it merges its reality with all objects within itself. There is only ever nothingness, all appearances, no matter how real they look, are just skillful illusions. And I cannot say from direct experience where those skillful illusions come from and who/what is generating them and why. It's a movie and I appear to be the character. And you appear to be another character... But if we watch direct experience now, as you have taught me to do, I exist AS the ultimate reality - I have never changed EVER, only appearances in me change. I cannot tell how they change or why. My best guess would be that it's my imagination.

I wrote this short story a while ago. The story is metaphorical in nature. I hope you will find yourself somewhere in the story. Enjoy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time, somewhere in Middle Earth, there existed one miraculous tree. The tree was so beautiful, so breathtaking, that it took the breath away of every spirit that laid eyes on this tree of miracles. The tree knew not what to do with the breath of the spirit, so it gave the breath back to the spirit. When the breath returned to the spirit, it gave it life. The tree made the spirit alive. Thus, they called this tree that gave life, the Tree of Life. The Tree of Life was grand and miraculous. There are no words that could ever describe the grandeur that existed on the Tree of Life. One could only say that the Tree of Life was truly miraculous. Life was its greatest miracle. The Tree of Life was so phenomenal that it created the life of many phenomena. In the beginning, the tree was not alive, but since it gave the gift of life to all forms, the Tree of Life itself became alive. The Tree of Life created life forms in many shapes and sizes. It housed many plants and animals. Everything alive lived on the Tree of Life. Around the tree trunk, many serpents dwelled. The serpents hid where all the darkness of life beheld. The crown of the tree exposed all other animals. In the crown of the tree was where all other animals lived. There were elephants that weighed a ton and birds that flew in a flock of one. All life was created to live on the Tree of Life. The location of the tree was uncertain. Some say that the Tree of Life was located between everything and nothing. Other, more certain voices said that the tree existed somewhere between Heaven and Hell. Nobody knew everything, so nobody knew the exact location of the tree. Some said that the Tree of Life extended its roots all the way down to Hell. Its crown, on the other hand, extended high up all the way to the heavens. Between Heaven and Hell, life was to be lived on the Tree of Life. The outer parts of the tree were bathing in the sunrays of the mighty sun. The inner parts of the tree were enveloped in shadows. The deeper one went down the tree, the more darkness he saw. The lower someone went, the darker the tree shadow became. The greater the tree, the bigger the shadow. The Tree of Life was so great that its shadow extended indefinitely into nothingness. All life forms that lived in the shadows, lived in darkness of their ignorance. In eternal darkness, they suffered the lack of light. On the outskirts of the Tree of Life, however, lived many life forms that could glimpse the light of the mighty sun. Only on the edge of the Tree of Life, the light shined brightly. Only on the verge of the Tree of Life, one could see the new frontiers. Only on the edge of life, one could see what lies beyond the Tree of Life. The opportunity to glimpse beyond the Tree of Life was given to the few lucky animals that were born to escape their darkness. On the outer bounds of the tree, there lived many animal forms. Among them, the birds soared the highest. The birds lived high up the tree and they only wished to be free. There were many species of birds, but the highest among them were the eagles. The eagles saw the light, they saw the goodness, but they also saw many upheavals. The highest among the birds were the eagles. The highest eagle among all the eagles was the bald eagle. One day, one bald eagle became discontented with all the shadows and darkness that existed on the Tree of Life. The bald eagle started to despise all the contents of the mighty Tree of Life. With immense baldness, the bald eagle one day decided to leap out of the tree and fly into new lands. The bald eagle decided to leave the Tree of Life. He wished to seek a new light. With a giant leap, the bald eagle left the Tree of Life and flew into the unknown. For seven days he ventured into the wide skies and saw blue oceans with its own eyes. For seven long days, the bald eagle journeyed into different coasts and he saw the shadows of many ghosts. For seven long days, the bald eagle was missing from the Tree of Life, but on the seventh day, he returned back to the tree. There was only one thing in the world that the bald eagle wanted more than to be free. The bald eagle more than his own freedom wished to give freedom to all the other life forms on the Tree of Life. The bald eagle wished to discover the nature of the self. The more he discovered the self, the more selfless he became. Eventually, he became so selfless that he forgot that he was a bald eagle. Beyond the nature of the self, the bald eagle discovered the beauty and freedom that existed beyond Life. Through his death, he learned how to discover the beauty of life. Once discovered, the bald eagle wished to share the truth, the beauty with all the other eagles. Many times the bald eagle left the Tree of Life, but he always returned. Upon his return, he shared his words; he shared his wisdom with all the other eagles. The bald eagle tried to describe his visions, but all he did was to create new divisions. The bald eagle told the other eagles about the sights that exist beyond the Tree of Life. He told them about the new conditions that exist beyond their traditions. But the words that the bald eagle spoke fell on deaf ears. The other eagles didn’t believe the Bald One because he always disappeared. The eagles believed only in that which appeared. Only their own appearances became real to them. Everything else remained unreal. Their whole lives, the eagles knew nothing other than the Tree of Life. The Tree was their Life. They held onto the Tree for dear life. Nobody believed the bald eagle. But the bald eagle was bold. He did not get discouraged. In other’s disbelief, he found his own courage. Thus, the bald eagle roved between the Tree of Life and the unknown. What he found could not be shown. The eagle flew alone, but every seventh day he returned to the Tree of Life, which now became his throne. The bald eagle foretold his tales, again and again. He shared his truth with the other eagles, but his Truth was only his own. All other eagles lived in their own zone. For many years the bald eagle came and went from the Tree of Life. He told many unbelievable stories about life and light. He told stories that other eagles couldn’t believe. But eventually, his persistence paid off. After many years, his words intrigued few other eagles that became curious about the nature of life beyond the Tree of Life. Few golden eagles left their nests, and in the land of the unknown became new guests. The golden eagles joined the Bald One, for they too wished to know what hides behind the drape. Eventually, more and more eagles started to leave the Tree of Life and beyond life they sought their escape. The golden eagles came and went. They followed the steps of the Bold One. Some golden eagles got lost into some golden treasures, but the bald eagle always returned. No matter how far he went, the Bold One always returned to tell the other eagles about the beauty that exists beyond the Tree of Life. Every seventh day, on a Sunday, when the God of creation rested, the bald eagle came back to give rest to the restless souls that lived on the Tree of Life. He told many stories with great conviction, and his stories became ever more convincing. His voice became louder and deeper. One day his voice became so loud and deep that all the eagles on the tree could hear the stories of the bald eagle. Many started to believe in his stories, but many still had doubts. The eagles that believed through their belief found the courage to take a leap out of the Tree of Life and into the unknown. To prove that they believed, they had to go beyond just a mare belief and leave the Tree of Life. The ideas that were only believed became dogma, but the ideas that were actualized became a new way of life. Only the ideas that were embodied had the potential to inspire their spirit to leave the Tree of Life. Through that potential, many eagles acquired the hidden spirit of the bald eagle and became inspired to leave the crown of life for the crowns that lie beyond life. Many types of eagles started leaving the Tree of Life. From the tree, they could only glimpse the rays of light that fell on the tree, but from beyond the tree they could see the light more clearly. From beyond the Tree of Life, they could see the pure light in all its glory. The nature of the light was quite peculiar. Only those who had seen the light, knew the light. Those who heard about the light had an idea about it, but an idea is not the same as knowing. Knowing could only be known through first-hand experience and not second-hand. Light could be only experienced and could not be shared with others. That was the peculiar nature of the Light. Another peculiar thing started to happen more and more. When the eagles left the Tree of Life and came back to the Tree, they always returned with more light than when they left. The eagles returned lighter than they used to be. Since they were lighter, they became more uplifting and started to uplift the spirits of all the other animals. The other animals that lived in the Tree of Life could not understand the language of the eagles, since all animals spoke their own language. The animals didn’t speak the eagle language, but they could feel that lightness of being that started to descend on the Tree of Life. The language of the eagles had limitations, and the biggest limitation was the fact that only eagles could only understand other eagles. When other animals heard the eagles speak, they only heard noise. Every type of animal spoke their own language. Despite the fact that all animals called the Tree of Life their home, each animal lived among their own tribe and spoke only the language of their tribe. Some eagles, taken with the beauty of the light which they witnessed outside the Tree of life, started to share the beauty beyond life with the other animals. However, all the other animals heard was an eagle screech. They only heard the harsh, piercing cry of the eagle voice and could not understand what the eagles preach. Some eagles took some snakes with their claws and flew beyond the Tree of Life, but the snakes couldn’t fly. The snakes had many flaws. The snakes had to follow the Earthly laws. The story of the light started to become prevalent among the eagles. Many eagles started to bathe in the Light of the sun. The light became so intense that the eagles started to sense the light of all the stars in the nightly skies. In the starlight they started to see their own reflection. In the light, they began to see the light that exists within their spirits. One day, like any other, the eagles made a pact among each other. One faithful day they made an agreement with all the birds of their own kind. The agreement was that the next day, on sunrise, when the light appears on the horizon, all the eagles will jump in unison and venture together to seek the light. In a flock of one, all eagles decided to leap from the Tree of Life and pursue the rays of the mighty sun. What they would find in the light they knew not, but they knew that must give it a shot. There was much uncertainty about what would happen with the Tree of Life if all eagles left at the same time. Thus far, each eagle strayed separately into the unknown. But now for the first time the eagles agreed to go together. The eagles encouraged each other to seek the light. By now they sensed what lies beyond the Tree of Life, but they knew not what would happen if all the eagles left simultaneously. The only way to find the answer was to do it. Only when they left the tree, they could see what would happen to the Tree of Life. Early the next morning, as the sun was rising from the East, the eagles sought to find their release. From the crown of the tree, they saw the new light of day and for the first time decided to leap jointly into the light. In an instant, they decided to forget the Tree of Life and seek the light. They did as they had promised. The eagles flew high into the deep blue open air. They spread their wings and started to fly towards the source of the light. The sun seemed infinitely far away, but the eagles had hopes that with great dedication, infinity is within their reach. The eagles flew for hours. The bald eagle led the pack. He soured through the resistance of the air and made the travel easier for the eagles that came behind. As the eagles traveled through the air, the sun traveled through the sky. In the wide open space where everything appeared transfixed, everything was moving slowly to its right destination. The sun was going west where it sets, and the eagles were going wherever the light of the sun took them. Long and tiring was the journey to the light. It took irrevocable commitment to seek the light. The eagles sought the light even at the cost of their lives. For days the eagles flew toward their destination that seemed forever unreachable. On the way there, they lost many lives. Many eagles got tired. Many fell from the skies into their demise. They faced many hardships and storms. In their determination to seek the light, they all conformed. With each passing day, their wings got heavier. The eagles passed through many barriers. Through the sheer determination of their will, they pushed against the winds. Some eagles cursed the day when they decided to leave the Tree of Life. Their life used to be a miracle, but now, away from the tree that gave them life, it was a miracle they are still alive. The eagles were getting closer to the light. They could see its shine, they could feel its warmth, but they could not get it swarmed. The closer they got, the further apart it seemed to move away from them. While flying through the open air, a heavy storm befell on the flock of eagles. This storm was unlike any other. The storm filled the air with darkness and completely eclipsed all the light. The eagles couldn’t see the other eagles. The darkness swallowed their hopes of reaching their destination. Their souls yearned for the light, but all they got was a dark night. A dark night of the souls befell on their shattered spirits. In complete darkness, all the eagles got lost. The next day, one eagle opened his eyes. What he saw was beyond belief. What he felt was only immense grief. The lonely eagle had lost all his brothers and sisters. The lost eagle lost track of all the other eagles. He could finally see the light in front of his own face. He saw the end of the endless race. In the end, he was the winner. He was the one who found the gateless gate, but there was nobody else there to witness his fate. The poor eagle was all alone. There was nobody there who could throw him a bone. The eagle could eat only that which he had grown. He was thrown into the unknown where he was alone. The eagle missed all the other eagles. He wondered what had happened to them. He reminisced on their fate, but he found nobody with which he could relate. There was nothing left of his previous life. Everything that the eagle had left was the purity of light that blinded his spirit. The lonely eagle wished to cry. The poor eagle wished to die. With his last breath, he gathered his last strength and plunged into the radiance of the sun. Before he merged into the light, he experienced the ultimate gaslighting. The lonely eagle finally realized the true nature of his own reality. He finally realized that no eagles ever flew in a flock. Eagles for all of eternity had always flown alone. The eagle realized that all his life; he had imagined the Tree of Life. He had imagined the company of other eagles. He imagined all miracles. The lonely eagle imagined that it was him that imagined life, and it was him that imagined his own imagination. The eagle recognized that it was him who created all the distinctions under the light of the sun. He finally remembered why he was always searching for the light. He was always searching for that which he is. There was never a Tree of Life. There was never a bald eagle. All that ever was; all there ever will be; is the Light.

Yeah nothingness is really hell for me I have flipped coins,i have seen the distinction. Sometimes it's hard to believe "that" is reality. This dream is easier to believe.

If it's changing.. Then that's not what is aware of change. If what's aware of change itself is a subject to change.. Then a statement about absolute change cannot be made. Without there being a static ground that is observing the change.. without being affected by it. Who you think you are changes. Who you really are which is nothing doesn't change. How can nothingness change?. Forms keep changing. The formless doesn't and can't change. And since forms keep changing they aren't really forms.. That makes them formless. So forms change which means they are formless... And the formless doesn't change. In other words.. Change is changeless as change. If change is an absolute.. It becomes changeless as change. I hope this makes sense

@Bulgarianspirit lol so being in hell is a better option for you than nothingness? But don't be afraid of nothingness.. It's not hiding "somewhere" that you might end in.. emptiness is the other side of fullness.. If you flip the coin of somethingness you will find nothingness.

You should be good to others, because these "others" are just as much you as the "me inside this body" you believe you are. Of course it takes a lot of consciousness work to realize Oneness, i.e. that there is only one Self, which is what you are, and which is what everything and everyone else is too. This 'Self' is equal to Nothingness, Consciousness, God, Love, etc :> The 'I' you think you are, i.e. a separate self stuck in a body, experiencing an outside material world: that is illusion. You aren't stuck in a body. You are absolutely nothing, thus everything, imagining everything from nothing, including "yourself" and "others".

To be fair,any mind destined to exist in the void for an eternity,alone in time would go mad, or have multiple personality disorder. Inside outside is the first thing to go... When one realizes this is all happening inside god's mind, truly see we are but imagined persons or puppets, at first the implications are maddening. Eventually you accept it but damm,this will never end. There is no escape even death is not an escape. The best we can do is accept things as they are. If some of you want to go away do mahasamadhi so be it,but damm for me thats no escape at all,didn't we run away(imagined) from that place for a reason? Can you bear the burden to be the only being for all eternity.. What bliss does nothingness bring? You will be back here,pretending again.

@Sam Johnson how do you expect "other people" to exist outside of your imagination when you yourself don't exist outside of your imagination?. In reality there is neither "you" nor "other people". These are just nothingness misidentifying with a stream of thoughts and appearances creating out of them an illusion of "person" and "people" as solid entities when there aren't such things . The problem is you are assuming an experiencer on top of experience.. When there is nothing but experience alone. On my end as in your end. There is actually no two persons communicating right now. That's a thought which in not the actuality of THIS. Only being is real. There isn't a single "person "in reality. I know this sounds insane and it is.. It is absolutely true tho.

I went into this trip with the intention to solve my fear around money. I took about 200ug of lsd. Having set up with mediation, then taking it while meditating. The come up was vary rapid this time compared to normal. I took double what I had previously after doing a bit of testing to gauge how much I could handle. In my meditation I hit a point where there was nothing. I was able to then become aware of it. The effects were very powerful and I had no resistance. I felt completely with nothingness. I seemed to be completely separated from any attachment to "reality" or being. I felt an extremely powerful force over me. I had an extremely strong feeling I should master speaking. I felt as is there could be nothing else I could do. I felt as if I was chosen from god. I felt like I was completely tapped into a divine power. That I needed to master this skill. I was crying at the sheer power I felt of the need to do this. I transitioned to taking a shower. I had a complete break down of reality in what seemed piece by piece. I realized that I am god. I could see imagery of all sorts of life. After the shower I looking at my paper saying "fear around money". This seemed completely preposterous given the experience I had just had. I realized just really how lucky I am. The fact that I am even knowledgeable on any of this was just luck. This experience is amazing with or without money. I realized that I need to use these tools to get to a point of financial security. I had fully realized that I want to teach personal development for a life purpose. I realized how much I love this stuff. It is the only thing I can think about in a way. This type of work would not feel like work at all if I were working on personal development stuff. I could spend my whole life studying this field and enjoy it. I wrote "I could spend my whole life teaching people how to improve themselves". I had a break down of all sorts of past relationships I had and how I evolved from them. Analyzing my dating relationships to all of my previous friendships. I bluntly realized that I don't care about my father. I felt a complete detachment from any need or desire from that relationship. I will continue to talk to my father, but this put things in a new perspective. I had just started a relationship with him for the first time in 7 years. I think a lot of my money chasing through the years was because I wanted to feel I would make my dad proud. I had a break down of my current relationships and interactions with people. I was able to drop all of my tensions I built up in one of my toast masters groups. I feel like I will be able to utilize these groups much more effectively now. I have a lot to take in and work on from this.

Does this means nothingness is not every thing? bcause there is also my concept about it? So two things nothingness and concepts or maybe three things nothingness and concepts and distinctions

Actual nothingness is not your concept about it. I can't explain it to you and you can't understand it. You either experience this or not.

This is my 3rd time doing LSD, I created a trip report last time on both my back to back experiences on LSD. You could find my first trip report here: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/44301-trip-report-trying-lsd-for-the-first-time/#comment-556715 Picked up a new batch of LSD tabs from the same trusted source, tabs were 150ug each. I already tested them myself with Ehrlich's reagent test kit. I decided to do it last Friday with a friend at his place in his bedroom. We didn't overly prepare for the trip, I thought I'd ask my friend 2 days in advance if he wanted to do LSD, this was his first time and he said yes. There are many psychedelic preparation videos or websites with checklists saying things along the lines of "meditate before tripping" "make sure you're in a good mindset," but we honestly took it spontaneously and it turned out very well. It was taken in a safe environment, and was with a close friend. Although I wasn't completely prepared for this trip, I feel that I was at least "ready" to take it and let go of any resistance to anything I experience. Last two trips I wrote about in my first trip report, I did one tab then two tabs back to back with 3 days in between. 1st trip was enjoyable, but 2nd trip I had a bad experience and was resisting too much. In this 3rd trip, I experienced "ego death" for the very first time on one 150ug tab. Before the trip: Before the trip, I was helping my friend with something work related, and we both agreed on taking the LSD 30 minutes later. Once we popped the LSD in our mouth at around 5pm I started to feel a bit of anxiety, but I just did some breathing and my friend told me he had some essential oil to apply to the eyelids to help with anxiety so I used that as well. We then just chilled and played a bit of video games on the computer. 25 minutes in I started to feel the effects, I felt like doing nothing at all as usual with psychedelics so I got on his bed and laid down. We shut off the computer, played some music and just literally did nothing but wait for the effects to kick in further. I felt an urge to sleep on his floor rather than his bed so I did so, he lent me a pillow. For a while we were trying to find the best music to play which we both would enjoy. I suggested piano, mellow music, but his playlist wasn't what I enjoyed so I asked if I could play music. Played some acid jazz music that I used to listen to on psychedelics, and the whole time I was wondering what he thought of my music. He said he thought the exact same thing when he was playing music, about how he wondered what I thought of the music. Later on I played some music that I listened to regularly and not an acid playlist, and he enjoyed it. The Come Up: I wasn't exactly keeping track of the time, but around 6-7pm is when I would say the effects were fully kicking in and when we were slowly reaching the peak. Nothing was making ANY sense to me at all. I was controlling the music but didn't know what was on my playlist anymore, and thought what's the point of finding a good song. I just played whatever was on my playlist and stopped caring, I also asked if I could play anything and he said yes because he wanted the experience for me to be as comfortable as possible, so I did. I saw a bit of visuals, objects were slightly twisting and saw some pink and green colors. At one point I was laying down, the experience was enjoyable so far but all of a sudden I thought of some past trauma with some stupid old crush rejecting me. I instantly got up, and started breathing to get my mind off of it so I could prevent a bad trip. Luckily I got my mind off it and laid back down. The Peak: Had no idea what time it was during the peak of this trip, but it might've been around 7 or 8pm. Once I entered the peak, I completely blanked out. I lost COMPLETE sense of my self, my memory, who I was, what I do for a living, all thoughts, all beliefs, EVERYTHING. This must've lasted an hour or so. All that was left was just sitting there in peace, as an entity. I didn't see anything, all I saw in my awareness is what you see when your eyes are closed shut in a lit room, it wasn't just completely black. I loved this, it was very peaceful. This experience gave me an idea of what death is like, complete nothingness. This reduced my fear of death, if I imagine what death of myself as a human is like, I imagine it to be exactly like this. The Come Down: At around 9:30pm, this is when the trip turned into a bit of a bad trip. But it wasn't bad because I saw something frightening, it was because I came back into my physical body after sitting in peace for some time. It was as if I didn't want to come back. I died, then I came back to life and it freaked me out. I remember yelling "Where am I?!" "What's going on?!" My friend was next to me saying "Everything's fine, you're in my room. We took LSD and we're tripping right now that's what's happening. I know exactly how you're feeling right now, at some point everything will be back to normal." That meant nothing to me, because nothing made any sense. 80% of my memory was still gone at this point. We were still tripping, so we spent an hour waiting for the effects to go away. During this time, my mom was calling and texting me because I was out for a while. I didn't answer, didn't know who it was or why she was contacting me. I was trying to remember my life but I was having a hard time. I had some Chipotle I was eating, had no idea why I was eating it but it the back of my mind I knew I had to finish it. My friend brought me into his living room so we could talk, but I honestly did not know who he was or why I was there. Sounds like I'm joking but I'm serious. It was a weird feeling, it felt like I was in some random person's house who apparently knows me, but in the back of my mind I knew things would be okay. But at the same time my mom was contacting me and it was making me feel concerned about where I was. After I finished my food, my friend wanted to go out for a walk. It was around 11pm, it was dark outside. Stepping outside felt foreign to me. This is when I realized I left earth for some time and now I'm back for the first time in awhile. Everything I saw felt a bit new to me. Or it felt like I forgot about these things and are now reminded of them after a long while. Such as cars, ambulance sirens, roads, etc. We walked to the park, I was dead silent, I barely talked to my friend because my mind just wasn't clear and I can't converse after doing psychedelics. He started to assume things, maybe somethings up with me. But later on I cleared things up and got rid of his assumptions. It seemed to me like he was completely fine and didn't experience the same thing I experienced. We then chilled, talked about life until 2am, I was still only 90% back to life, slightly tripping. We called myself a cab, I forgot coronavirus was a thing, the driver told me to sit in the back seat. I got home, and I was up until 8am scrolling through social media and Youtube. It was honestly so strange to me, looking at people do human things on the internet holy shit. Insights/What I've gained from this trip: I now have a general idea of what death is like, or what it could be like. This resulted in a reduced fear of death. Might be too early to say but I may have gotten over some trauma that I've been suffering through for several months. I had a crush on a girl from work, she seemed into me but I messed it up with my neediness so she basically told me to fuck off. This experience made me love myself more and love the little things about life More motivation to pursue spirituality

So I've been going through what I would call a radical identification awakening. As a result of intense meditation sessions and self-inquiry. The seperate sense of self and doership is completely collapsing.. The veil has completely broken and I'm aware that I'm not the ego.. Who thinks it's doing stuff. I'm not the body or mind. Or the world. The body is seen as the world.. Not me. A complete understanding has occurred that I'm pure present. At the center. What's surrounding the center is none of my business. The body mind and the world. It will unfold naturally as it's always done. But I as pure present nothingness is just a vessel for it. None of it is in my control. This point about control is very important.. Because it leads to the discovery that you are not who you think you are. You think you are separate entity. You are a specific thing. You think you are the doer. You're not. When thoughts arise.. You are not thinking them. When the body moves internally or externally.. You are not moving it. You have as much control over your body as you have over my body.. Zero. If you raise your hand.. You are not doing It. This is important because that means you are not the body.. And you are not the seperate self who is in control. So what are you?