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@Inliytened1 yeah i dont see why this is so hard for me i keep getting dragged down by my ego ive litteraly realized nothingness from lsd and have been awakened i just cant shut my egoic mind up

@mandyjwDon't assume anything unless you've taken a Psychedelic. I had no awakening during my first trip but they sure as hell rocked my world, if i had not awakened, they'd have been the THING i feared the most in the entire world Basically they lead the ignorant to questioning more about what reality entails

Didn't Eckhart Tolle have to go through decades of mental suffering before he awakened?

Oh they can be, it all comes down to how much you resist the truth. If you are already awakened to your truth, psychedelics become far more permanent because you already know your true nature so there will be minimal resistance but if you do not, then you will resist because you still cannot handle that much truth/depth because you still have a lot of inner-work and purifying to do so. You have to suffer, to have to experience, you have to live, you have to die! Welcome to life, there are no shortcuts

Unconditional Love is not a feeling its not bliss, sorry hun. Unconditional Love is Uncondtional Love. Unconditional Love is suffering on behalf of your students. taking on their pain so they can see and think clearly at the end of time, when all your students have awakened. onlt THEN is Unconditional Love a source of bliss. Grow the fuck up

00 - Prologue ~ Ok, so I want to write this journal to inspire others. I finally awakened and knew myself. It was similar to Ekhart Tolle, I suffered so much that I hit rock bottom, then things started going upward after I contacted a good ol' internet friend my age (21) whom I met at a psychiatry back in 2012. He told me to get help and promised it will get better and offered empathy... Then read some older replies to a post of mine. I need some post-trauma healing and minor shadow work (and a part time job for a decent income), but I am wise enough and now I implemented everything I learned from actualized org and friends and family and throughout life in a short period of time (say 3 months..). I matured. Solved the maze. Still get ego backlash rarely but it ain't that bad and I can make it go away with self control. ***Note: I didn't read or watch everything from Actualized, but what I read and listened, I implemented. I am too weak right now and my mind can't take more info from Leo vids, he is too advanced. Maybe older ones.. Much respect, @Leo Gura! Thank you for being part of the process and helping me find "da wae!" ? I am NOT a fan of "I'm enlightened ask me anything" journals. You can ask me advice here or in private, (I prefer here so that others can benefit as well, but message me if it's important or sensitive topic. If you can (only if you can cause, I don't mind much haha), pretty please don't use "woo woo" terms and occultist jargon, or over-complicated mental-masturbatory philosophical ideas. Thankies! ? Be honest. Be pure. Be direct. Be clear. Be concise. Be objective. Keep it simple and to the point. Ask many questions. Give detailed info so I can give detailed solutions and advice. I am gonna use this thing as a daily journal as well. To track my growth progress. Easier to track here than on paper. I am not on computer much cause I'm out in the world doing stuff, living life. I spend minimum 5 hours outdoors and / or in nature every day and the rest of the day is spent exploring creative ideas and chatting on Messenger with friends whom are materially more successful than I am at the moment. Which is normal, we are all unique. I am going at my own pace and I have different needs atm. I'm also going to share inspiring photos, quotes, books, music, art, people, tips and advice. I might add astrological notes, videos and article links since I want to learn to read a chart properly. I will share occasional self-created art. Digital, graphite and paintings. Maybe also photos or vids of my life stuff....... I plan to structure this like a book. Will see.. Wish me good luck and good health to keep this journal project going! ? -- 10/oct/2019, 2:27 am

Gurdjieff International Review https://www.gurdjieff.org/ Gurdjieff's Allegory for the four bodies Carridge = physical body Horse = emotional center kedsjan or Astral body Driver = Intellectual center = higher Intellectual Master/Awakened Being = connects with Causal body or Imaginal realm

Some spiritual practitioners often look at celebrities and famous people on social media. See them socializing. Traveling to different places. Doing variety of activities. Laughing and enjoying life. And then they look at their own lives. Trying to meditate every day. Not feeling joy and happiness. Struggling. Feeling boredom and sadness. Not concentrating. Not feeling enough equanimity. And they hear monks and awakened people say: 'Meditation can induce unconditional happiness' And you think 'Well, I can't even cultivate happiness and joy. This whole process is really dry, involves a lot of suffering and simply not that fun. Maybe unconditional happiness is possible for spiritual experts. But from where I'm standing, meditation results in states of no-mind and neutrality. I do experience some tranquil states but there is no happiness and joy. This is one of the reasons I've started this path and I can't even make myself happy. I feel sleepy, dull and neutral most of the day. In fact, I get more depressed after I've started meditation than before. I'm going to quit. What is wrong with me?' If this is what you are thinking, I'm here to help you and show you one of the ways that helped me manage these sorts of negative ruminations and overall negative mind states. Ever since I've understood how joyful states work and how to cultivate in the nervous system, I've found the answer to managing sadness, depression and neutrality one encounters on the spiritual path. If you've started to path to reduce suffering, then this is going to be a significant and powerful development towards that goal. Not only we will be reducing suffering but also increasing satisfaction one experiences from pleasurable sensations. If you have extreme problems like 'The Dark Night', then cultivating joyful states may not help without prior training. I've never experienced such intensities so I don't have much advice about that. But if you have the common spiritual depression I've mentioned above, then the jhana practice has the potential to transform your emotional states and be that 'solution' you are looking for. You don't need awakening per se to feel happier in your life. You don't even need awakening to feel RADICALLY happier in your life. Happiness is just an emotion. It can be cultivated skillfully with the right concentration, mindfulness and jhanic practices. You can take this conditioned positive state to an anti-depressant level (and also beyond) and let it pervade your not entire life (not just when you meditate). Here is my latest post explaining how to do this: Also here is Culadasa's lectures on jhanas. Jhanas are actually culminations of the samatha practice. Just know that this depression is a negative mental state you've cultivated for decades. Or maybe it is neutrality for you (not equanimity). But joy is a distinct and highly positive emotional state. Its cultivation will result in an overall increase in one's happiness. How can one glean more satisfaction from pleasures? Well, this is one way. Hope this inspires some of you who are feeling depressed and feel like spirituality is not helping you.

Oh boy I had a dream which had three level, in each of them I awakened, realizing it was a dream, then soon after I was in another, totally unconscious again. This was such a mindfuck that I was shaking and crying in my bed telling myself "I'm still dreaming, I'm still dreaming, I'm still dreaming" I only remember the last level of the dream, in which I was seeing a guy (that I was identified to until I awakened in the dream) with a burned face trying to kill the computer from "A space Odyssey". The computer was saying "I did this to you forever, and will continue to do it for eternity". It wasn't the computer talking actually, it was me. Then I woke up as Shin.

So many people would be better off if we didn't have any form of documentation of religious history or any form of spiritual history and if we didn't have social media. There's so much crap out there that you would have a better chance of winning a marathon missing both your legs with your hands tied behind your back wearing a blindfold with a parachute sewn onto your back that's open during a tornado in Kansas then you do of reaching proper understanding and awakened state in this day and age. My best advice to you is what I did go blackout no social media no news no TV no religion know nothing except your own thoughts in mind I did it for 5 years and when I came back well let's just say I couldn't come back because this world's not the same one I left. I don't regret it but it is weird living in this day and age after missing so many years of programming it makes you an outcast.

WOW i use play minecraft and never bothered to read the ending when i beat the game. How amazing. Someone created a true masterpiece when they created minecraft. Its something about the transition between video game world and coming back to real reality, youll know what i mean if u ever paid close attention. I wonder if anyone ever got awakened from this

Yesterday I worked really hard to clean the house and get ready for my son's birthday party. SO much work for two hours of complete chaos in my home. I took a break to go for a run. I went on my usual route and had an impulse to go the opposite direction. I'm not sure why but many of my impulses don't really feel good when I receive them. They feel a lot like they did as an 11 year old when I had OCD. They feel like a demand coming from a teacher, and I know I have to listen. I assume this is because of my ego resistance or sense of separation. I turned around thought I would go to Pomroy's. There was a strange vehicle on the road and instead I ran by the river. There were a few crows that nagged and played with me. I stopped and a huge gorgeous heron was sitting in the middle of the river. I watched as it gracefully flew away. I knew that I was meant to go to Pomroy's anyway. I went there and didn't look for anything. Not for an apple, blackberries or mushrooms to eat, not for a sign. I just went there and felt good. On the platform/pyramid, there are three spruce trees growing, strangely as if they were planted on each corner. One on corner the roots have such wonderful character, this is the tree that you can climb. If you climb it in the wind it feels like you're one with the tree and you can feel the ever-so-subtle vibration of the tree swaying in the wind. Someone had dug a hole metal detecting on the platform and barely bothered to throw the sod back over it. Yesterday I went to the smallest spruce and touched it with both hands, closed my eyes and kissed it. When I opened my eyes I saw that where I kissed it was red paint, old graffiti art almost all worn away with time. How lovingly mother nature takes disrespect. Last night as I was falling asleep I had a lucid dream, describing and translating it perverts it but I am not above that kind of thing. I was God and I was trying to figure out how to have a good time and stop being so lonely being me. So I split myself into a group of kids running around laughing with each other and getting into fights, completely oblivious that their separation was an illusion. Then I knew that if one of the kids stopped running around and watched the others, that they would realize the illusion. Then I knew that by excluding himself from the action, he would remain separate. Only when he rejoined the others with his realization be complete. I saw the perfection of forgetting and realizing. I saw the perfection of the back and forth. Today was a blur of throwing a 7 year old's birthday party busyness. After I went for a run to shake off the stress of it. I didn't go far and was told "turn around". 11 year old me loved the number 3, thought the colors red and white were incredibly symbolic to Christ, and had a Buddhist sewing teacher who taught her that she could be an artist. 11 year old me ran and took running very seriously and when she ran she sometimes got obsessive compulsive impulses. One more lap, they'd say, then again ONE more lap. 11 year old me wanted to WIN a race so badly. That Fall 11 year old me, tiny for her age and shorter than the rest of the girls, won the first race of the season. I remember where it was, on the Indian Reservation, along the ocean. Before every single race, my mom packed me an apple and I ate an apple before every race. That tradition continued into highschool. I turned around and was lead to going up a road I never have run down. My Buddhist sewing teacher when i was 11 recently posted on facebook a huge harvest of quince. I was really curious and wanted to try some. As I went to run up the road I saw beautiful pears growing along the little park where I found the monarch butterflies, then caterpillars all through impulse to go there. This park is where a school house once stood and was turned into a little park, that no one ever goes to. When I went back I picked the pears and realized they were quince. https://www.thekitchn.com/quince-tough-fall-fruit-with-a-secret-reward-ingredient-intelligence-73041 When I got back I got another impulse, to go visit Rocky. The old apple tree I buried him under has the deepest red apples. I usually make applesauce out of them but I didn't this year. I sat over his grave and cried and lots of thoughts about not being the best pet owner and wishing I'd been more conscious throughout his life came up. I was told that the only death I was mourning was my own. Then I noticed an enormous spruce tree right there, its roots with as much character as the one on Pomroy's platform pyramid. I never noticed birds before and I never liked spruce trees. I didn't know what quince were. Nature itself is truly our own creation and it's creating us. I just completed a very odd impulse train. I was thinking about the death of a cross country runner at a race I ran, 16 years ago. He collapsed off the trail and died and they ran my race and another before they even found him. I was going to go into the odd connections there but there's no use trying to explain it. Anyway the guy who I believe awakened Pomroy is from the city where that happened and I've been thinking about going there and researching him off and on all summer. So I googled him and an article compared him with Johnny Appleseed. So in researching Johnny Appleseed I found a mention of this book. https://www.amazon.com/Red-Garden-Alice-Hoffman-ebook/dp/B004J4WL6O/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+red+garden&qid=1570407013&sr=8-1

Peter Ralston - He is Awake, and I like the way he teaches. John Oliver- I find him to be Hilarious. Vox - Great news channel. Yoga in Daily LIfe - Another Awakened Teacher I like.

Enlightenment is the end of suffering not the beginning of suffering bro...the ego is playing a hard game making excuse so that it can take control over your life....its the trickiest of the trickiest...be smart and take the ultimate path....have faith in buddha's word...don't listen to the non awakened beings .....

I'm a relatively practiced meditator (regular practice for 7 years of general MBSR, body scan and metta, times ranging from 5 minutes to 20 or 30 on occasion.) On listening to a Leo video about it, I decided to commit to 20 every day and am finding the whole session more difficult ("no duh!") Contemplating stepping back to 10 consistently, then 15-- I have the time, so I am more than happy to "sit" for 20, but i find myself doing it in "intervals." Coming back to monkey mind and then saying, "No, no, no-- next 5, do it for real!" Just generally have found that my squirrelyness is awakening, the previous ease is gone. (I know that all this is part of the process.) And, interestingly, it's not like I get to my previous 10 minute practice and then go nuts, it starts from the beginning. Is it possible that the jump to 20 every day without fail was just a bit much (again, my previous "best times" were 20 or 30- with 30 only being in group settings) Too much of a leap? I'm happy to continue spending the "time," but I used to find it easy to get into a state of awakened awareness with relatively little squirrely monkey mind up to 10. It's just something about the 20 that makes me go apecrap. (I'm an ultrarunner, so I'm definitely applying that running 10% rule to this experience in the back of my mind.) Today is day 11 of doing the 20.

Spiral Dynamics Stage Turquoise gone from Youtube? Leo, why is your video gone? I am getting worried. I think this video is very deep and profound, why would the youtube remove it? I am glad I did take notes from it, your newest video "Launching On Patreon" talking about getting banned from youtube makes sense now. Here is my notes from your video: We are beginning to see the entire universe as a holographically interlinked network of energy and information, organically whole and self-referential at all scales of existence - Ervin Laszlo Out Beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. Ill meet you there -Rumi A samadhi beats an orgasm every time -Unknown Turquoise is T2 Magnificence of being and existence really starts to flower. T2 and Turquoise is beyond survival, beyond ego, beyond fear, beyond idealogy, beyond politcal parties, beyond racial affiliations or anything like that. Moving into self transcedence and selfless living. People on stages in spiral belives people on other stages in spiral are insane or deluded. Blue - Yellow growth = 1%. Turquoise is where 99% of the work starts. Physical reality will start to disolve - everything you thought were obvious about the world. At Turqoise you are ready to jailbreak the mind and discover what is beyond the mind. Science never really tells you how you should apply this in your life and what you can do with this which this to actually develop yourself Science boils down to quantification and measurements. (Measuring reality with a ruler, in verious form and writing down the data) Very big perspective of what life is about Not about me becoming rich, famous or successful. Or fighthing for some political cause for my little group. Not about saving the whales, a hierarchy, a civilization. Its about getting all of mankind to awaken to the magnificence of existence. To which most of mankind is utterly asleep. (Most people have not met a turquoise human being, they excist but are very rare) Essence of Turquoise Collectivist (different from green, Manifesting the self for the benefit of existential reality,life) • Holistic • Global collectivist • Self transcendent • To experience the wholeness of existence through mind and spirit The world is seen as a single dynamic organism with its own collective mind. Everything connects to everything else, alot of boundaries break down and there are alot of ecological alignments. The universe is alive and intelligent. Its not a dumb clockwork machine. • Interesting in building a human communtiy based on mystical wisdom. (the deepest wisdom that is possible to access for mankind) • Interested in cooparate action for elevating the consciousness of mankind • Turqoise is a synthesis of the left and right brain, east and west science and religion, mind, body, spirit and heart. All of it coming togheter to function very smoothly and effortlessly for the benefit of all of life and of consciousness. • People at turquoise usually become gurus, sages, teachers, leaders, visionaries, healers and clairvoyance When does Turquoise emerge? • With realization that yellow has that it alone no matter how much it models and understands stuff it cannot solve the worlds problems just through its systemic understanding • When yellow starts to see the consciouseness unifies everything and everyone. The idea that consciousness is central. All verious problems mankind have all boils down to consciousness • When Yellow starts to see very deeply the limits of thinking and modeling and the scientific method, reason and logic. Ready to go beyond the mind • When yellow starts to realize that all of the answers and understanding that it has developed so far has not been the ultimate answer. • Emerges with very serious spiritual practice • Turquoise is a flowering of mysticism. • With the transcendence of your ego • Awereness of Maya The dream that we are in, when you start to realize that whats happening in here is a game, its a virtual simulation, its a hallucination, there is nothing tangible about whats happening right here or about this body. All the ways that the mind deludes us and creates these very solid seeming tangible illusions. • When Yellow realize the mind and the undersanding of it self does not bring happiness • Shift from learning about stuff to being one with the many Turquoise Values • Consciousness • Truth - Existensial and metaphysical • Deep metaphysical insights • Metaphysics • Wisdom / Wisdom of nature Wisdom is not something just human beings have, its inherent to all of reality because the boundary between human beings and reality starts to break • Mysticism, spirituality and non-duality, god and divinity God and divinity are very different ideas from at blue. (blue=bearded anthropomorphic bearded man in the clouds, This right here is God. God is consciousness. • Holism, integration and synthesis vs analysis (interconnect) • Left and right brain synthesis • Honesty, transparancy and radical authenticity • Being. vs knowing, doing and having. • Simplicity, flowing with nature, effortless plesureable life • Minimalist sustainable living, collaborative syngergy, human wellness • Healing, the physical, emotional and spiritual dimension • Exploring altered states of consciousness • Intuiton, channeling or direct downloads from infinite intelligence • Supernatural degrees of creativity • Supernatural visionary (see connections that mankind will not see yet), • Spiritual purification • Awakening, transendence, libeartion, unconditional love, compassion for all, emotional mastery, presence, mindfullness, paradox, esoteric teachings, gratitude, unity, deeper and deeper levels of interconnectedness, selfless living, sacrificing the self for greater consciousness of the whole, meditation, yoga, contemplation, self-inquiry. • Not knowing and humility, spontaneity, playfulness and self-amusement • Tends to be light hearted Ego is the heavy hearted with fears and problems • The really big picture Distinct Turquoise with Green • Real mysticism vs new-agey faddish spiritual practices Casual meditation vs at turquoise you start to have industrial levels of meditation and contemplation • Turquoise is informed by direct non-dual experiences rather than beliefs and ideas. • Embraces global collectivism without attacking the individual like green did • Turquoise is consciuouss of the spiral and is a spiral wizard. • Not as triggered by injustices. • There is acceptance from deep understanding of intolerance, conflict, war, violence, greed and evil. (where as green just reacting against them, against orange greed and materialism, turqiouese understands thats life, how the ego evolves. Its not because they are bad, its because they are a treat to you(ego)) • Avoids mob mentality that comes with green. • Awareness of ego and there is more mindfullness and presence in turquoise • More emotional mastery than green • Non reactive and detached vs green was very reactive and attached • Effective solving large problems vs getting togheter and talk/protest. Characteristics of Turquoise • Turquoise sees the human race as a single organism Everything is connected. Sees the dissolution of the physical boundaries between self and other. Such that you can no longer differntiate between your physical body, the universe and your enemies. (there is no difference between you and coffee table) • Use the world as interlinked causes and effects in interacting fields of energy. • For turquiose there is joint activity accross groups, factions and communities spiritual bonds pull people togheter, communities are not just physical but also conecptual because "physical" is actually a concept. Physical itself is not physical. • Feelings and emotions come back into play • Work must be meaningful to the overall health of life • Deep trust of intuition and instinct • The self is a part of a large conscious spiritual whole you are not just a little individual human being or human body as you've always thought • Non -manipulative -ideological and -judgemental. • Not driven by fear or selfless selifshness • Does not play victim or blame games • Deeper mental and spiritual capacites are awakened • New sences and abilites you would think were superhuman become ordinary and human. There is new control over bodily processes, there is a heightened sensory awareness. • Paranormal abilities can develop or as the Yogi's call the cities. • Healing abilities, telepathy, astral projection, ESP, clairvoyance and remote viewing which seems odderly fantastical, religious and superstitious to stages below which are stuck in material paradgim. • The mystical becomes the mundane, the paranormal becomes normal. • Having inspiring levels of emotional mastery • Likes minimalist living. Less is more. • Ecologicaly conscious like green was. • Being visionary and being an inspiring leader • There is a unification of science, technology, medicine and mysticism • Deep understanding and unification of all religions, picks the best parts of them and throw away all the junk, corruption and ego stuff that has corrupted those traditions. All of them are really pointing to the same stuff. • There is a synthesis with western technology and eastern mysticism. • Theres an understanding of the fullness of the spiral and turquoise uses all the layers proactively and holistically • Sees everything at once before doing anything spesific • There is a colletive imperative and there is mutual interdependencies that reign supreme over your individual egoic needs. • If turquoise is engaged in business its gonna be a business with soul that probably tries to awaken you in some fashion. • There is a sense of a greater community bulit around spiritual emobidment. Turquoise is the 6. and 7. chakra • Turquoise action comes from selfless love and open heart • Has a great mental and behavioral flexibility • Sexual desire is transmuted into metaphysical love. (not always the case but for really exceptional turquoise people, outgrown from the lower chakras) • Excellent in dealing with paradoxes • Tend to be very wise and teach in unorthodox styles. • Is post rional and post material • Connects to being rather than quantifying or categorizing the world. That enterprise is over. Its way too limited. • Is non-linear • Is human-centered • Has a supernatural intuition • Has an ability to connect to source • Tends to have high integrity and is able to actually follow through that integrity • For Turquoise the universe is both impersonal and deeply personal. And thats a paradox they resolve. (need to be experienced to understand) • Turquoise is conscious of the miracle of life. Everything becomes mystical, amazing and magical. • Has a constant attention to ever-expanding implications of everything. • Turquoise is even a deeper systems thinker than yellow was. Systems now are not just mechanical things, they are alive, imbued with intelligence. Intelligence is not something that human beings possess the way that orange arrogantly belives. Intelligence is permeated through the entire universe. Every aspect of being is intelligent. The entire arrangement of the univcerse is infinte intelligence at work. • For Turquoise life consists of fractals. You can see all the interconnections in the fractal nature of everything. Can see the micro right throgh to the macro. • Stands in awe at the cosmic order from quarks to cells to humans, trees, cars, to galaxasies and big bang. All of it is awesome,miracle,magical,amazing, all of it interconnects with everything else. • For Turquoise reality can be experienced but never truly known. Reality is fundamentally irreducibly, mysterious and mystical. • There is a dissolution of the ego. • For turquoise there is a paradox that on the one hand life is the most important thing there is and yet on the other hand my own life is completly unimportant. My death does not matter. • Turquoise can detect the harmonic forces which govern organizations, which makes turquoise good at leading and running organizations • Turquoise is good by setting a good example/being a good role model • Turquoise is a movement away from the gross materialism. From gross stuff to subtle stuff turquoise develops the capacity to sense the subtle aspects of reality. • Going from the external to the internal • There is a transcendence of morality, meaning, judgement, life and death, duality, mind, reason, science and good and evil. • Is finally able to have really deep honest meaningful relationships and communication. Beyond the shallow petty clinginess, neediness and materialism that came with orange,green and yellow. The reason we have shitty relationships is because we have relationships to statisfy our own needs. Gross materialistic needs. They are all about manipulation. Not sustainable and thats why it ends. Turquoise is relating from a non needy place, from a much more honest place. These types of relationships are like next-level/super human relationships. As orange or green you dont know what a true communication face-to-face with a human being is because you are so wrapped up in your own ego and unconscious of the dynamics that the ego is playing and how it is distorting your ability to relate to other people and to communicate honestly with other people. Examples of Turquoise • Sadguru, the Isha foundation, • Shunya Murti, a western Yogi from costa rica (example of Intergration of all religions, science and holism) • Thomas Campbell • Yoda (globalist community minded and mystical) • David Hawkins, Ken Wilber, Shinzen young, Deepak Chopra • Stan Grof, (high yellow, early turquise) • Osho (netflix, still not perfect society) • Mooji, Rama G, Rupert Spira, A cartoles, New earth • Yogananda, Maarten ball, • Terence McKenna, Carl Jung (yellow/Turquoise) • Sri Aurobindo (solid turquoise) • Pierre tel yard, Erven Laszlo, David loy, Allan watts • Wim hof, Mat khan, the dalai lama, sacha shulgin • Yoga, holotrophic breathwork, the book: the holographic universe, the akashic records, the new oh sphere, opening the third eye, the pineal gland, out-of-body experiences, samadhi experiences, cities, paranormal abilities, clairvoyance, channels, mediums like Bashar, stuff that aleister crowley was doing, Rudolf steiner • Alternative healing systems, the notion of maya, pshychedelics, 5MEO-DMT, • From Star Trek the Q race • Rupert Sheldrake`s "more for genetic fields" (turquise concept) • Dene Radin`s paranormal research • Gandhi`s ideas of pluralistic harmony • The notion of Gaia, earth as a living system, Biocentrism, • The monrone institute, The Esalen institute, • Transpersonal pshycholigy as an entire field, Jung`s collective unconscious and various kinds of archetypes • Quantum field theory (starting to show the interconnectedness and the nonlinear infinate nothingness that everything is) • Sacred geometry, reincarnation, opening chakras • Saints, sages, mystics and prophets. Less then 0,1% of the global population is at Turquoise Turquiose has less than 1% of total world influence or power Style of Government: we do not really have any examples yet. We have some small communities. Based on these small communities it would look something like this: A holistic organism, micro management of all life-forms torwards common good in respone to macro problems. What life means supersedes any special, natural ethnic or ideological groupings. The purpose of this society is to elevate the consciousness of all of mankind. Spiral dynamics vs Non-duality • You can be in a non-dual state but not stage turquoise. • Spiral dynamics is more about how culture becoming more complicated and sophisticated and dealing with more complicating problems • Non-duality is another variable. Turquoise Slogans Everything is one, we are all god, You are already enlightned, everyting is perfect and at the same time everything is evolving, to see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, the kingdom of heaven is within, forgive them father for they know not what they do, I am that, life is a dream. What triggers Turquoise? Not that much, you worked alot on non-judgemental and detachment. Turquoise is quite understandning of how Maya works, how ignorrant works (where triggering basically comes from). Has a fairly robust degree of emotional maturity and mastery which helps to take the edge of alot of stuff. • The insanity of the world - sees how unsustainable all these actions are. • The status quo. - frustrating that our government,politics and economics are still at such a low level of development. • Myopia - the limitied vision that people can have. • Materialistic corruption • Profit over truth and spirit • Profit over heart • Dogmatic, scientism and rationalsim - quantifying • Ecological dysfunction • By the collective suffering of mankind. All of mankind suffering is largely self-inflicted. • By little petty mundane affairs. Turquoise limitations/unhealthy manifistations • Can become too mystical and too spiritual. To the point where they become unconcerned with earthly problems. Where they can just go off and live in a cave all by themseleves or like a hermit. • They sort of live in their own reality. They are so advanced that it is hard for other people to understand them. They can teach very advanced things that are difficult to relate to for avarge folk. Theirfor they can be misunderstood or their teachings can just fly over peoples heads. • Can develop a guru complex. Feeds your spiritual ego. Devlop cults. • Life can become sort of meaningless. Your are just in a dream. • Can deny the importance of political issues. • Can assume that other people are just as capable of awakening as they are. • There can be community division on a grand scale. Turquoise can develop into sort of mega tribes. Turquoise is a mirror or a parallel to purple. Turquioise is also trible but no more enlightned tribalism. There can be conflict and division between these turquoise mega tribes. • Can become stuck on shallow levels of enlightenment or non-duality. Theres many grees to awakening. Some gurus will have 10-100 more real depth of understandings than other ones. Does not realize there is deeper levels. • Non-duality wars. Certain gurus criticize other gurus from different traditions. Teaching debates, whos more enlightned and what does it really mean. • Maha Samadhi. So enlightned that you actually leave your body. Dont overidealize turquiose Dont think Turquoise is perfect. A person can not be turquoise if hes not perfect. That he can not do mistakes. Turqouise does not make you moral or good at all. Does not make you special. Egoic goal. Turquoise does not make you enlighetned. Enlightned is an own thing. Dont confuse it with spiral dynamics. Does not make you immune to false beliefs, cultural biases. Culture is something thats rooted very deeply in your mind. Even if you become enlightned you will still have cultural beliefs, preferences and values which are operating on you just from the culture you grew up in. You can be closed to other traditions or cultures just by not opening yourself up to them or not being familiar enough with them. Turquoise does not make you immune to dangerous social ideas. Its still possible that you will hurt people. Not immune to sexual cravings or addictions. How to transcend turquoise You should not worry about transcending turquoise, but embodying turquoise. You can do for 40 years. Your goal should be to pursue non-duality to its fullest and really to transcend spiral dynamics. How to emobody Turquoise • Make sure you have a hardcore industrial-grade spiritual practice going. (Meditation, yoga, self-inquiry, contemplation or whatever else) • Contemplate everything. • Embody unconditional love. • Long solo retreats - very helpfull for deepning your connection with being. • Spiritual purification work of various kind. (shadow work) • Do 5Meo-DMT • Join or start spiritual community • Read turquoise books • Meet turquoise sages face to face • Study many religions. • Study cutting-edge science. • Study non-dual theory deeply - read at least 30 books. • Open your chakras, specially the lower ones and heart chakra. • Transumte your sexual energy. • Learn alternative healing techniques • Make sure you go back and master all the stages. • Keep watching actualized.org.

Yesterday I had a hawaiian morning wood trip ans through bursting in this forum I had some theoretical knowledge which led me to insights that it is all me, There was no ego dissolution though. Id like to know if you get fully awakened, is it scary to know you are everybody? Or is it more a liberation feeling?

My daughter is 6, and clearly on the spectrum of what, in earlier days, would have put her solidly in a "magical" bucket. (For what it's worth, I think all children come to us pretty freaking "awakened" and I hold it my job as a parent to really just allow that portal not to close.) As outward presentations or classic signs, she's definitely got synesthesia (she experiences colors as smells), is ambidextrous (interestingly, I hear synesthesia and ampi often come together), and now, I think she's got something I've always had... sleep paralysis/wakened dreaming. (Quick background that might matter- I'm most classically trained in concepts of Wicca, a kind of mish-mash of neo-Shamanism and the broader spectrum of "energy work," am an intuitive (using tarot as my framework, usually, but more as a was to open claircognizance and what I call "claircabulary" or "clairetymology"- I have extremely specific words and phrases pop into my head, and the hyper-specificity of the words matter.) I was raised very religious, and the most my parents would say about it is that I "scared the bejesus out of everyone as a kid." As they evolved beyond religion somewhat, they were able to say, "Oh, smurf KNOWS. She's always KNOWN. She's always been an odd duck." It wasn't until I was 17 that I started investigating and self-training and un-doing what probably got shored up in my childhood.) The reason for my question-- Last night, she had another episode of what I assume is sleep paralysis/wakened dreaming (this is her second), which, I know, is completely terrifying. She's been talking about my dad non-stop (he passed about two years ago, when she was four. Magical moment: He was in a coma, pretty much, and my mom and I were talking to the nurse and turned around and she was doing this beautiful sign language/dance thing at the foot of his bed. We asked what she was doing, "I'm talking to Grandpa. I'm telling him goodbye and that I love him..." Pretty moving for our emotionally-stuffed family.) Anyhow, we also read a book last night that ended up being about a lioness that killed a baby buffalo and a camel-- she's extremely empathetic, especially about animals, so maybe it was too much for her. And then she woke in the middle of the night, thrashing and squirming and trying to figure out "what to do with her body," like she was trying to fling snakes off herself, crying about how scared she was. I asked what her heart wanted to do, and if I could help. She said she wanted to cry it out and put her head under the covers and just screamed for a while. I did a mental energy clearing and sent her love, but really just kind of held space for her and let her process in her own way (so difficult as a parent, who wants to "fix it" or say "it's not real, dreams aren't real, it's just your mind making up stuff.") So, wall of text to ask: I probably should introduce some concepts of death and "energy never really goes away, it just changes form"/cycle of life and death and concepts of impermanence-- but in an age appropriate way. Anyone have resources on that? And, on a broader scale- anyone have resources about kids and "awakening" (or, I suppose, "staying awake")

Yew but awakened i mean really be inthe god consciousness but still experiencing the dual world. Would that not be strange to walk around everywhere and know everybody is me and everybody else knows this too, that we are all just me

I started watching Leo's video How Fear Works - The Ultimate Guide To Dealing With Fear - Part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meiMUbYEQ4U Leo said that we are in fear all the time. I believe that's correct and I use to say that we are in fear 24/7 even if we are unaware of it on a conscious level. On a subconscious level the fear is there all the time. Fear is necessary until we find higher means of dealing with situations. Our next goal has humanity is to transcend fear I believe because it's only needed at lower stages of development, like the basic and ancient fight-or-flight response. Most of our fear becomes numbed out I suspect, and then turns subconscious so that we become unaware of most of our own fear. When we watch horror movies and such then fear is awakened in a safe way and perhaps that's why we like those kinds of thrills. A subconscious emotion is emotional repression and is dangerous for our health, so it's a relief to be able to feel the fear again in safe situations.

I also had the same experience with other energy practices that awakened my kundalini energy a few years back, Since then i was able to feel energy and got this big pressure in my head were the third eye is in the middle of the forehead. I did not have a clue what it was and i was very un-grounded and felt like my entire Nervous system was shot. I was posting on another spiritual forum for help till i met my "guru" sort of guru. He does not call himself that. He told me to not do Spinal Breathing cause it raises the kundalini energy and that the practice has a lot of side effects reported by a lot of people practicing this technique. I asked him what was wrong with me, why i had the pressure in my head and he told me it's energy build up, like energy building up there and a lot of people doing energy work gets this pressure and it's normal but it happens with the wrong type of energy work. My guess would be that. So my advice, which is his advice probably is don't do Spinal Breathing.

Yes that still point in the center of the accordion that does not move. That is where the permanent self or true self resides.( which is the essence of existence) An awakened individual can still dabble in the impermanence expansion and contraction, but their heart resides in the center. And they are aware of that fact.

The real problems started when I got awakened to how much I was suffering after attending a meditation course. Haha. That’s when all this deep deep suffering began. Since then I’ve been clawing my way out slowly, and not without a massive fight. And I’m still not strong enough. Funnily enough, some of my most massive sufferings of late have been contrasted by huge feelings of bliss and happiness. Like, the work I’m doing is working, I’m catching glimpses of the light, but I’m still deep deep in the cave. I will look into the books you mention, I like the idea of running with my own kind of wolves, if I think I know what that means...follow my own path?

Waking in the night, blankets on the floor, a terror born inside me; expulsion evermore. Neither was I here nor there; no space a place could be, the missing gate was I; this space is known as me. Horrified in agony, I stumbled to the mirror, screaming out for anyone; the silence only clearer. I starred into the gaze; and none starred back at me, this had been my secret - Truth: Infinity. Known & yet unrecognized, a face could not be seen, could not accept this shocking ruse; that love indeed is me. The floor was more my character, upon it I did seek, to my surprise, these molded tiles; more beauty than could be. All that I had known before, so perfect & airtight, was in jest - not misery, indignity, nor plight. Into the day, the same arose, awakened as in night; so within, it did begin - the everlasting life. Invincible, untouchable, harmless & unharmed, the nightmare had subsided; in no one was alarm. Knowing made impossible, in knowing of all things, Nothingness the superpower; I am just a dream.

I had a pretty spectacular/transformational/disruptive to day to day life awakening at the start of April. I feel like I'll spend the rest of my life integrating it, and at the same time it never happened. For some reason, I feel the need to tell the story of it. I don't know if that's right or wrong but if I've learned one thing it's to follow my impulses. It will probably take me several posts. "There are no signs. They are all signs. There are no sacred places. They are all sacred places. There is no story to write. There are no stories." I must confess, I am a story teller. I invite you to come sit around the campfire, but only if you like stories. You see, stories are like psychedelics when you get properly lost in them. The classic books and the most beloved stories are full of pointers. Moby Dick, Humpty Dumpty, Sleeping Beauty... the stories of Jesus, Buddha, and the list goes on, all are pointers to nonduality. Your own life is just a story. It is very special because it happened on this physical plane, and you are the author of your life. Before you can see fully how special it really is, you have to disregard it as nothing. It is so meaningless that the meaning is profound beyond words. The stories we call fiction are downloads from Source. There is only one creative mind and so all creativity that flows through a person is a download from this mind. All tropes are from this mind. For me the duality between truth and fiction is forever lost. No biography of any person who actually lived can ever be accurate. It's only a gross account of something that happened. It's like a cop gathering witness accounts of an accident or a crime, we spin things into stories as we remember them. This is always the case. My awakening happened here on the forum in the journal section with the help of another member or two (an unknowingly the entire forum). I started having a lot of conversations with this member and had an insight/impulse to metaphorically offer him an apple. That was the start of my descent into the rabbit hole of fairytale, Biblical storyland. This is a post I saved from my now deleted journal, this post set the ball rolling. "I don't know. I don't know what's on the other side. AH, you're so compellingly frustrating, a book I can't put down as obligations I'm neglecting pile around me. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I don't know where this energy comes from. It drives me. I have no control. I have a story of something that recently happened to me that I can't let go of. I don't know why I can't let go of it. It drives me mad. Why am I so attached? I've told it to a few people as if I'm looking for something from them but no one really has anything to say. It seems more like a story I've made up rather than something that actually happened. I had a business and had a lot of success at the start and bought a house almost 10 years ago. I was only 20 and I made the decision completely on emotion. It was an old house in a ghost town and I didn't have any idea how much work would be involved. I cursed myself and the decision for years until I made peace with it and then we were finally able to finish the work on it. But when I first saw this house, driving up to it I had this feeling like I was entering another world. There was something compelling about it. Fast forward to last year and I am looking for somewhere nearby to take my kids to play. I start taking them to this spot by the river. Every single time we go I experience presence but there's this energy there too in addition. Something about the place burns itself into my mind and I keep going back and going back. Every time the river offers up something new. It is the perfect illustration to me of the saying that you cannot step into the same river twice. On a whim I take my daughter for a walk in the stroller through the cemetery. When I was a kid my parents caretook a cemetery and I had to spend every weekend and time after school helping them. It was on a hill overlooking a lake, incredibly beautiful. I love cemeteries and have no negative or spooky feelings from them. In this poor town, there was only one notable doctor resident who is buried there. He lived in the 1800's and was famous for his use of herbal medicines. His monument is massive and the entire lot is covered in beautiful stone with heavy granite urns. I put on the stroller brakes and go up to read inscriptions on the stone. I must have not been careful enough, even though I've done this thousands of times. My daughter goes flying down the hill and I sprint after her as fast as I can just barely catching her before she crashed into some other gravestones. I leave the cemetery slightly, just slightly spooked. I don't go back until fall. When I do I visit there is only one plant growing on the entire stone covered lot. It's a beautiful plant with red berries, but plant nerd that I am I recognize it as poison nightshade. Why is the only thing growing on an herbal healers grave poison nightshade? I go back to visit his grave one more time, again with my daughter. This time I don't trust the stroller and I take her out and bring her up with me to read the inscriptions on his stone. My daughter gets really unhappy and I have to leave with her. After we've gone too far to go back she realizes that she threw off her mittens somewhere and screams "MY MITTENS", over and over again all the way home. So I keep thinking about this doctor and I remember that my friend and I discovered he had written his recipes down in a book. An impulse comes to me to look for it and it feels good. I remember sitting at my computer trying to remember what exactly the impulse was because all I could remember was having one but not what it was. It came back to me and I searched for his book. I find that now a library has added it as public domain and I can read it for free, right then online. It's not just some bizarre herbal recipes. It's his entire story. He wasn't actually a doctor. He was clairvoyant. It describes his communion with nature and how his powers came about and his battle with self interest. I find the book the most compelling thing I've ever read in my life. It has so many parallels to my life and things I was thinking about. Out on a run I decide to go back to his grave. The ground is covered in a small amount of wet snow and as I finally read the inscriptions on the stone undistracted this time, I see that exactly where I stepped is one of my daughter's mittens. Later I happen upon a facebook post in an abandoned places group I'm a part of, from someone who went to see the foundation where his summer mansion once stood. I go to find it for myself and it overlooks the very spot on the river I was so drawn to. I now make a habit of sitting on the old massive granite blocks and clearing my mind. I've had three major insights there. Last week I went back to his grave and there was my daughter's other mitten directly on his grave. I sat there in the sun and meditated on the warmth and unfailing love of peace. " Shortly after this entry, insights started barraging me, and I continued to not sleep or eat except for the bare minimum I could function on. It felt like I was possessed. Synchronicity started becoming intense. Every song on the radio had a message for me. I accused the other member of being like a little boy who won't eat his Easter bunny because he doesn't want to ruin it. I had an impulse to check a free library box and in it I found a half eaten Easter bunny and a book about how you create your reality. The duality between intuition, impulses that felt good and my obsessive compulsive impulses I had had as a child dissolved. "I feel better, I did something I had negative obsessive compulsive thoughts about doing, realized it was a thwarted impulse and realized I needed to take action. Pieces of the puzzle are still coming together after the fact, my previous minor fixations of the past month, pleasures and demons both all have come together. Another amazing storyline from my life that came together so beautifully for me recently was the catalyst of all this feminine energy realization. I had recorded a video and I said that I used to be obsessive compulsive when I was a child but that's not true. I've always been obsessive compulsive. Except it's not a problem I can throw away. It's my power. " Everything I ever loved, all the symbols and my love for lions came together in beautiful realizations of nonduality. The doctor had a lion statue in front of his house. I also became conscious of the power of symbols I had paid no mind to and realized that the grave of the doctor was covered in pyramid shapes. He had been a stone mason before he awakened to his clairvoyant powers. Every painful and traumatic event in my life was seen through the eyes of an author who dreamed it up it for greater good and out of love for her character. I got reminded of the book that I always wanted to write and I realized that the idea was a prophetic analogy of my life, yet I was still learning the lessons the character was supposed to learn and so I could not actually write it. "It's been in my head for 6+ years. But writing it always seemed like work. Until now. Now it feels like it could just happen. My friend and I explored the town I lived in shortly after I moved here. I'll tell you more about her later because she's really important. She has no fear about anything, I do, and at that time was absolutely controlled by it. We drove almost all the way down a dead end road, where the river at some point stops being a river and starts being ocean and you come out to the point. As you drive the road gets narrower and less of a road and there's a sense of fear and foreboding even as you drive. There have even been more bizarre problems with domestic violence down there than you'd think for the number of people that live there. Someone got shot a few years ago. So me and my friend see this massive old abandoned house down a gated road on the river which this far down is part ocean and part river. I'm already spooked and she insists on driving in. We can't tell if the door is pitch black or wide open and we get closer and closer and are both afraid now but driven by curiosity. There was no door. We were looking at blackness inside the house. We went back to the place later and went inside. The spirit of the place. I can't even. It was vandalized. But wild roses like grow by the ocean here were growing all up the wall and wildflowers of all kinds and colors up all around as grow in a neglected field in late summer. I remember that the moon was in the sky overhead. I had a photo with it all, but I lost it. They burned the house since. That's the place I drove back to last night, but the house is gone and now there's a no trespassing sign. This is the story I had in my head. I don't have much, just a basic outline. A girl/woman, not sure of the age yet, is raised in a fundamentalist Christian home but has a wild spiritual connection regardless of her beliefs. She is thrown out of her family for something she does (this actually happened to my husband, and that something was me) and seeks solitude in this desolate abandoned house. But instead of solitude, she finds a man there who is seeking enlightenment in solitude. And together they find what they find what they seek." I didn't believe in chakras at the time, and I didn't know about kundalini energy but I started having strange and bizarre pains in my body. I kept going back and forth between the remains of the doctors house and home to write in my journal. I discovered a platform by his house with steps leading up to it and trees growing at the corners. "There's still this energy that burns through me. Then a cold that chills through my bones. We are the warmth of the sun. We are the still waters that run deep. You give me clarity. It's as if we were tennis players, so in the flow of the game that it would be silly to ask which one of us has the ball. It's moving back and forth so fast that no one can fixate on it. There is no ball. And so it is with the world of form and formless. The vibration of energy between them is moving so fast...that it stays in place because there is no time." To Be Continued.