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What is fear? Or a phobia? It's a irrational belief about a certain scenario that is going to occur. The chances of this fear occurring is heightened. How do you conquer fears? gradual exposure, complete surrendering. The willingness to "die" in a certain way. I will focus on the willingness to "die." Basically just focus on the present, focus on what your feeling. Then basically, you'll have no fear because you have not attached meaning to anything. I completely forgot what leo said in his fear video Be okay with social suicide. This is the exact same thing as failure. Just completely surrender. idk. idk man. I've just spent like 45mins typing to come up with this lol. The rest of the contemplation will be more intuitive and less wordy as I feel like i'm starting to mentally masturbate. a bit too much One thing I also want to say is that even though i'm defeating my social anxiety. This probably won't stop me from being experiencing loneliness as this is the path i've chosen. To become extremely good at something, requires sacrifice.

We will see what happens if and when I have a really deep awakening to absolute truth. Until then, no suicide will take place as I am currently in a state of not knowing. I will NOT throw away my life at this point as it may impact others.

Really folks, what this all comes down to is, am I the only observer/experiencer in the universe? Meaning that if I throw something at someone, hug them or whatever, they only appear to feel it but don't actually as I am only imagining them to feel it? If the answer to this question is honestly yes, and I prove it true beyond all doubt through practices, I will blow my head clean off with a shotgun and be done with it. This will hopefully result in me reincarnating and forgetting all of this until I re-discover it, setting up an infinite suicide loop. If the answer is no, and I am just one of trillions of observers within the one reality and all the lovely folks and critters I see around me experience the universe just as richly as I do, then no problem. Business as usual, on with the meditations and doing what I can to make the world better. It's really as simple as that. You guys are either awesome people going about your lives, like me, even if it is all just one enormous shared dream, or you are all just illusions that I'm imagining, kind of like Rupert's cardboard cutout analogy. Please somebody out there see my point.

Your ego is just trying to distract you bud. This is a classic example of the cunningness of the ego. Of course it wants you to integrate it, its purpose is survival. It doesn't want you to see it for what it truly is and be deflated. I think you may be trying to avoid going through the difficult task of dropping the false sense of self by simply saying everything is divine. Mind means the conditioning. The mind is greedy. Mind is greed. You drop this mind, and sannyas happens. A mechanical mind is an unconscious mind. The mind always thinks of doing something. All minds lead finally to misery, to suffering. Awareness is beyond time and beyond mind. Mind’s whole structure is based on confusion. Mind has no joy — it is really a wound, very painful. From mind to no-mind is the revolution of sannyas. Mind is confusion. Mind is never clear. It cannot be. mind is confusion; it is not that you are in confusion. Your mind is your misery, your mind is your bondage. The only security in existence is going beyond the mind. As a servant, mind is beautiful. As a master, it is a monster. Mind moves in time and consciousness lives in timelessness. Your mind is time. And when times ceases, your mind ceases. Mind is nothing but the process of the ego, the functioning of the ego. Meditation starts by being separate from the mind, by being a witness. Awareness is not of the mind, awareness is something beyond the mind. Meditation is the only magic that can help you to be free from the mind. To abandon the mind and to live life spontaneously is what I call sannyas. There is nothing like a silent mind. When silence is there, there is no mind. The mind has given nothing but misery, suffering, torture and nightmares. The ego, the calculating, cunning mind, is never compassionate, cannot be. Just be choiceless. Don’t choose. Choice brings the mind in. Choice is mind. You cannot predict a man who acts out of no-mind; only mind is predictable. You have to put mind aside to become a witness, and obviously mind resists it. Sannyas is real suicide, because it destroys the mind, it takes you beyond the mind. Mind is always mediocre, mind is never intelligent — it cannot be by its very nature. Meditation has nothing to do with mind; meditation simply means a state of no-mind. If you really want to be living at the maximum, don’t listen to the duality of the mind. When the mind stops there is no ego, when the mind is not functioning there is no ego. Mind is fear. Mind is a coward and is always concerned about security, safety, certainty. The mind is the by-product of fear, and because of the fear it goes on creating its own security. The death of the mind will be life for you, and the life of the mind is nothing but death for you. The mind has no inherent capacity for joy. The mind is the cause of all misery; it knows nothing of joy. Mind is constantly asking, desiring, demanding and creating frustration because it lives in expectations. Mind can never be happy. Mind is your accumulated discontent. Mind is your accumulated unhappy past. Bring more awareness to your mind, otherwise you are always on the verge of going mad, of becoming mad. Just remember that you are only a witness. The body is not you, the mind is not you. You are just a mirror. Existence never yields to any of our demands. It is the demanding mind that has been creating all our misery. Witness that you are not the body; witness that you are not the mind — this is the way to transcend body and mind. A mind that is not meditative is bound to suffer in every situation: riches, poverty, failure or success, it makes no difference. Mind never meets the truth, never encounters the truth. The ways of the mind and the ways of the truth are absolutely separate. Meditation is a state of no-mind. Meditation means the mind has stopped. Just you are, pure consciousness, simple awareness. Gautam Buddha has made it a meditation. He called it upeksha — indifference. Just be indifferent to the mind, and it won’t be a disturbance for long. Meditation is not a question of effort because all effort is going to be through the mind, of the mind, by the mind. How can it take you beyond the mind? The unknowable is not part of the mind. The unknowable is available to your being, to your consciousness, to the hidden sources of your life. Mind means dissatisfaction, mind means complaints, mind means unfulfilled greed, mind means incomplete desire. Mind is by its very nature a beggar. The mind lives through desires. The mind lives through greed, fear, jealousy, ambition. The mind distorts. Because of the motivations, the mind distorts. Our mind is very tricky and cunning: it always throws the responsibility on somebody, on something; it never takes the responsibility on itself. YOU are the cause of suffering. The day your mind is absolutely silent, with no disturbance, you have taken the first step that takes you to the temple of God. The temple of God is made of your consciousness. All knowledge is of the past. Mind is always of the past. Consciousness is always of the present. A buddha helps you to become more conscious; he does not help you to become more knowledgeable. The whole process of sannyas is getting rid of the mind. Mind consists of questions and answers. The moment you get rid of the mind, then only consciousness is left in its purity, with not even a ripple. It is your identification with thoughts that is creating the confusion: it brings you down into the mind; otherwise your watcher is far above it. And to get centered in your watching is the only way for peace. Your mind is never in the present, and time is always in the present; so time and mind never meet. This is the misery — that you are missing the train every moment; and you will go on missing your whole life. Meditation is simply going beyond mind, beyond the functioning of the mind, beyond all the fetters of the mind, and just entering into this silence, unmoving, unwavering — just a pure awareness, a silent flame, a great joy. Meditation is the state of no-mind. Not of a silent mind, not of a healthy mind, not of a concentrated mind, no. Meditation is the state of no-mind: no society within you, no conditioning within you. Just you, with your pure consciousness. When the mind no longer manipulates you, when the mind no longer controls you, when the mind is just a mechanism — if you need, you use it, otherwise you put it aside — you are free of the mind, you have attained your own masterhood. Use the mind, but don’t become it. Use it as you use other machines. Mind is a beautiful machine. If you can use it, it will serve you; if you cannot use it and it starts using you, it is destructive, it is dangerous. It is bound to take you into some trouble, into some calamity, into some suffering and misery, because a machine is a blind thing. It has no eyes, it has no insight. Mind cannot see; it can only go on repeating that which has been fed into it. It is like a computer; first you have to feed it. Hope this helps my friend ❤ ❤!!

@avilo Whats your problem... All you are doing on this Forum is hating, trying to voice your perception of what you think this is, not taking the time to realize for yourself, that maybe your misery just wants company. Stop trying to spread an agenda that this is a cult, that Leo is the holy leader every one here bows down to. @Shaun WTF are you even talking about... Why would you possibly want people to commit suicide.

More people can sign up, realise their families are imaginary and then commit suicide. We need a new plague anyway so this might as well be the form it comes in.

There is no kid that's playing with legos that's creating some magical meaning to the universe. Listening to people like Leo will give you bullshit ideas about how the universe is love, the universe is completely indifferent to you. Word games aren't a real answer to why you shouldn't suicide.

you nailed it on the head, survival is fighting with the 'role' of the mediator or explorer consciousness. Yes I can really feel the body is shit scared of not getting enough food and not having shelter. But the role of the meditator feels so suppressed and limited by this view. I'm currently earning just over the poverty line and work 40 to 60 hours a week. But even so I don't like surviving, go as far as to say I hate it. Fuck this is a hard problem to solve. Now I see why suicide is so rampant on this journey.

This attitude would work if the world was absent of group dynamics and historical discrimination. The way you might want to start looking at it: In the past we have had discrimination based on skin color, which lead to the current status quo. If all group dynamics are now ignored, and discrimination of the past forgotten, we will not be able to create systemic changes so as to help the status quo to change. Rather the individualistic point of view can be used to dismiss group dynamics and uphold the status quo. For example, if we have a higher suicide rate amongst a certain population group, it would be far more effective to analyze the problems with group dynamics instead of encountering each individual as a completely new set of problems. We might put certain protections on that group so as to equalize it among all other groups. This will allow us for faster and systemic change instead of individualistic approaches which do not account for the differences in groups. For example, we might want to elevate a certain group specifically in a way that will seem disciminatory towards other, more established groups. However the elevation would only be done temporarily, until the groups are equalized. This is not done to inherently help the groups, but to help the most amount of people and create an equal society in the most effective way. Of course we have to look out for new power dynamics that would arise from the elevation of these certain groups. Power corrupts and any change of status quo can and will be attempted to be used for individualistic and collective gains. One might for example use a protective status for their own egoic needs, which is something we expect and observe. But the truth is that protective status is already present in groups that hold more power and already individuals in these groups use these special protections to actualized their egoic desires. As these special protections are pulled back from these groups and the protections of others are elevated, we are going to see what you would describe as unfair. That "unfairness" is a necessary byproduct for the overall greater good. In the end we are seeking to break down the group identities and create new identities which are free of egoic power structures. For example, women might experience a shift towards masculinity to equalize their status in society. As their status is going to be equalized, they will in the end be able to be free to follow their own energy again, namely the feminine energy. This is basically the deconstruction of societal norms and power structures by constructing new societal norms and power structures. An even simpler example to illustrate is the following: There is a limited amount of food and two people. One person is stronger and takes most of the food, as a result growing even bigger and stronger. The second person is growing weaker and smaller. Now comes along the notion of equality. It's not fair that the stronger person gets more food, instead everyone should get the same amount of food. This is better, but the problem is that the stronger person will remain stronger and bigger, because he will keep growing as much as the weaker and smaller person. It would only lead to the status remaining still. What would actually be fair, one might argue, is taking away some food from the stronger person and giving it to the weaker. While the weaker person will grow stronger, the stronger person will grow weaker and smaller. This will be obviously be seen as unfair, but do you really think it is? How is it fair for the weaker person to remain weak just because the stronger person had an unfair advantage at the beginninger? Would it not be better to give the weaker person more food and the stronger less until they were equally strong? At that point we can give everyone the same share. You are basically here arguing that we should just give everyone an equal amount and wait for everything to equalize naturally. However, this attitude will lead to a great amount of suffering, and it is inherently a limitation of stage orange values, which you are residing in.

Understanding Survival - Part 1 - The Metaphysics Of Being Human //posted from youtube comment from Vivek Chavan. It never occurs to a squirrel that it is an oak-murdering machine -Leo ---------------- Foundational for all personal development & spiritual change The root of all human behavior change Credit: Peter Ralston "Man is a machine which reacts blindly to external forces and, this being so, he has no will, an very little control of himself, if any at all. What we have to study, therefore, is not psychology but mechanics" -Peter Ouspensky You are mechanical. It goes very deep Mechanical =1/Conscious Survival as a metaphysical thing: Modern science doesn't understand this very well Metaphysical Questions: - What is survival? - Why do survival? - Why do anything at all? - Why doesn't an organism sit still its whole life? Why does it struggle? - Why defend anything at all? What is being defended? - Why be one way and not the other? - Why seek change at all? - Why manipulate? What are we manipulating towards? - Why even live? - Who chooses what should survive and what doesn't? - Is survival rational or irrational? - Is there anything which is not survival? What is the opposite of survival The story of survival: - In the beginning: Formlessness - First distinction = first object (cloud) - Multiple objects, interact with each other - Cloud dies. It didn't care. The cloud isn't self-aware - Later: New form (had a desire to persist by manipulating. It lived longer). It eventually dies It isn't rational for a form to want to persist. In order to manipulate, the form has to draw a fundamental distinction: Self vs. other The form is never fully in control of its destiny since it cannot control other forms All forms are temporary. Reality is constantly changing! If the form changes too much, the form metaphysically dies. Survival = Static arrangement within a sea of change = maintaining order = Not changing Disorder & Freedom = Enemy! Total freedom = Disintegration = Death = Biggest fear What we freeze depends on what we classify as 'the self' There are no objects in Reality. It is a distinction. The Universe doesn't tell you who you are. You decide that. Physical definition + Other definitions = self Reality = Infinite field of consciousness Lower self = Virtual partition of Reality Growth = Extending/moving the boundary of self What is being survived is not a physical object! It is a concept, a fantasy! Survival = conceptual activity Science cannot identify anything. Identification is a subjective thing, a result of personal projection. Survival is a highly irrational, subjective activity. Organisms don't care about Truth, logic, rationality under circumstances that can lead to death. Survival is exhausting. We are scared of death because we convince ourselves that survival is important. Rationality can become an identity, which then needs to be protected. Threat and danger are relative to what we define as 'self' - Example: Christian and the Bible - What is that for you? It is highly relative ○ E.g.: My baby is more important than other babies - People assume: What's good for me is good for everyone and vice versa. - You can only exist as 'you' if you exclude all other possibilities. There are zero-sum dynamics in Reality. Life is impossible without death. There is only one Reality. Squirrel has murdered thousands of would-be acorn trees. You are just like that squirrel ----------- Nitty gritty survival dynamics: How does it help me? - That is selfish To change yourself, the self has to die. You get in your own way. You want the results of change without actually changing yourself Massive results = Identity level change = Facing your death Go straight into the belly of the whale! Instincts exist for survival purposes. Our lives are completely controlled by survival. Examples: - Reading a book - Wiping your ass - Nutrition - Beauty - Getting annoyed by disturbances - Fiddling with your thermostat - Buying luxury items (rich people need to maintain their image and status) - Buying lingerie at Victoria's Secret - Masturbation/Sex - Caring about what people think of you - Driving an electric car - Being vegan - Donating to charity - Doodling during class - Getting tattoos - Socializing - Taking care of your family - Following a religion - Saving money - Being depressed - Politics, religion, science, ethics, morality, etc. - Meditation (as a chore) Important ones: - All judgements (ego defence) - All meaning (relative) - All thinking - Justifying, rationalizing - All beliefs - All logic, reasoning - All imagination - All theories - All speech - All emotions ○ (Emotions are something that you do, and not something that you experience- Peter Ralston) ○ Manipulation of the self - All feelings of discomfort What exactly are we surviving? - More than just the body - The mind/psyche - Even recharging/relaxing facilitates survival - The Devil is in the details - Most of our survival strategies are executed unconsciously - Different for rich and poor people. It is highly relative. The mind tricks us into believing that something is really important and is a 'must have' item - We delude ourselves into false rationalizations for our survival Survival = Dishonesty = Sneaky manipulation But we have an identity as a 'good and honest' person We end up convincing ourselves that we have to lie and manipulate and that it is good. The self resists all the important and advanced teachings and misconstrues them. Nothing is inherently good or bad. Our aim is to be conscious of our actions You cannot see Reality as it is because of survival (Needy vs non-needy perception) You are a robot! Become conscious of your survival drives Survival is deeply intelligent. It isn't a dumb mechanical phenomenon Survival knows no shame. It will do anything to achieve its goal It's subtle, non-linear, sophisticated and complex There's nothing fair about survival. It is raw selfishness We have to survive in a social environment rather than just a physical one Career niche = Perfect fit between you and your environment. Many survival strategies were baked into our brains right since birth Unconscious survival strategies often backfire To be good at life, do survival in a more conscious manner Mind/psyche is like a ghost that has taken over the body. You are that ghost. You!! Right there! Behind the eyes! This ghost must look out for physical and psychic dangers. It must think as the good guy Devilry must be misconstrued as goodness The body of the ghost is made of beliefs and ideas Identity is fused with models and beliefs and the ghost will maintain them even if they are dysfunctional The ghost must keep itself motivated Everything you think and feel has an ulterior motive. One has to bullshit themselves into taking action To do: - Monitor survival at a micro level. Minute to minute. - Notice all the manipulation and trickery. Don't try to change it. - Notice the specific survival needs that are unique to you - You need to do things to be the way you are. Notice all those - Try not doing one of these things and see how the ghost reacts - Pay extra attention to your thoughts and emotions - Your ghost: Contemplate on these ○ What does it want? ○ What does it hate? ○ What is it trying to be? ○ What/who does it hate? ○ What is its worldview? - What in my life is not survival? It will take us years and decades to improve at all this. Be patient All emotional ups and downs are emotions in action You must become more conscious of your survival. And not just good at survival. Survival is suffering! Nothing fulfills you. Survival isn't designed to make you happy, it is designed to keep you alive until death becomes absolutely unavoidable Maybe there is a different (and better) way to live your life There is a possibility of life outside survival! Understanding Survival - Part 2 - Advanced Insights About Survival Do the homework assignments, always! Not just theory, philosophy, ideas. It will change your life if you actualize it and observe yourself. Squirrels: Oak-murdering machines. But they also help in planting the oak trees. Insights: - Survival can be symbiotic - The squirrel does not know what it is doing (mechanical actions) - Ultimately, selfishness goes full circle and contributes to Absolute Goodness - Survival vs selflessness: Dualistic thinking; must be transcended Humans obfuscate survival: Our strategy is highly evolved and sophisticated Being good at survival and being conscious of survival are two different things E.g.: Donald Trump These days, it is very easy to take survival for granted. The brutality of survival is justified and hidden away from our awareness. Esp. Businesses. E.g.: Bananas in a grocery store Inversely: Living by yourself in a rainforest would put us in touch with the harshness of survival Appreciate how intelligent survival is Unbelievably intelligent. It’s a force of the Universe. Evolution Insights: - The more central an object is to our survival, the more upset we become when it is threatened ○ High: children/parents/pets ○ Medium: car/house/bank account ○ Low: towel/shoe - We'll conjure up flowery stories about why our agenda is noble and selfless - Brutal honesty is necessary - Just because a survival strategy fails, does not mean that it's not a survival strategy ○ E.g.: § Buying spoiled lettuce from a grocery store § Robbing a bank ○ There are many degrees of intelligence to survival strategies ○ Short term survival strategy (extreme neediness + unconscious behavior) vs long term survival strategy - Survival isn't about physical survival, it's about the survival of the 'self' concept and worldview - For Humans: Survival goes way beyond food, clothing, and shelter ○ E.g.: Smoking ○ Teenagers: Trying to fit in and appear 'cool' - Psychological comfort is a big part of survival strategy ○ Even depression can be a survival strategy ○ E.g.: a 9-5 job you hate. § Subconscious mind (soul?) sends a message § But the ego is scared § Depression was a signal, which was muted by the self § Victim identity § Most depressions don't end in suicides ○ Suicide bombers: Strong religious convictions. The bomber has an idea of an afterlife (and 72 virgins). Extremely foolish? § Joke's on you! He does become Allah after death, but his strategy is extremely counterproductive - We pick up a lot of these strategies when we're young, from society ○ Unconsciously ○ Very counterproductive ○ Programmed into us - There is no such thing as 'the one best' survival strategy ○ It depends on the unique needs of the ego-self ○ A strategy that works for you may not work for another ○ It is commensurate with one's environment (culture, era, geopolitics) - It is common for people/cultures/countries to impose their survival strategies onto others ○ Consciousness and big-picture thinking is needed ○ Respect other people's needs and unique traits ○ We are all at different stages of development (use Spiral Dynamics) - Cultural diversity exists for a reason. Ta-da! ○ E.g.: Cuisines (commensurate with resources available) - Survival has co-opted all social institutions (Governments, Military, charities, media, etc.) ○ Humans are social creatures ○ This is prevalent even among ants (and many other life-forms) ○ Collective Ego ○ All institutions are filled with Politics: It is central to its survival ○ Even chimps have politics in their groups Ideas and beliefs become central to survival. Defending them is vital for the ego Worldview is very difficult to change. It is like the operating system that we run on The OS is foundational E.g.: Your idea of what a family is; what gender is Metaphysics is central to our understanding of life: - Scientific materialism - Religion - Note: Claiming you have no metaphysics means that you have adopted the default metaphysics of the culture you grew up in Our identity isn't real - We manufactured it (albeit unconsciously) - Then we deny we ever did that - We seek a worldview to ground ourselves in Reality - People are threatened by the Truth - Truth needs no defending, falsehood does - Dualistic belief in God allows people to shirk responsibility and judge others - Gender is a social construct, so is science, laws, and most things in society - Survival strategy: ○ Denial ○ Judgment ○ Criticism ○ Self-deception Survival is its own end. Personally, there's no higher purpose to it You are totally oblivious to your own survival strategy - Because it doesn't serve the strategy - It will be painful to discover and admit how neurotic and selfish we are - We all want to paint ourselves in a good light and appear 'holier than thou' Consciousness makes blind selfishness untenable. Consciousness comes with great responsibility. Deceiving others and ourselves becomes difficult. High consciousness teachings can go against survival Distraction: The Ego's favorite self-deception mechanism What you call 'evil' is just somebody else's survival strategy - Applies to all things, including rape, murder, corruption, terrorism, etc. - Evil is that which hinders your survival strategy - It's perspectival and relativistic - Denial that evil is relative is just another survival strategy Go meta Stop judging other people's survival strategies Mindfuck: Your judgment of others is a part of your own survival strategy Morality: Self-deception Getting upset is a good indicator that your worldview is threatened

I'm wondering if there is a balance between accommodating lower stages in society with their needs and moving on without them. In a sociology course I'm taking it's showing the values of Blue societies and how the community and national identities could help people feel more social cohesion and even help prevent suicides. Whereas the stage Orange type of capitalism and industrialist tends to segment the population and may result I further social isolation and unconnectedness. The course wasn't about spiral dynamics but I could easily see similarities in the information that was being presented. I'm confused about how to reconcile the needs for lower stages, like feeling a sense of belonging and group identity, with those of higher stages, like independence. If some people are still at lower stages, they might not be able to handle a society based on higher stages of development. This is something I think about in terms of my own life. I think I'm hovering around stage purple, red, and now a bit of Blue. Mayyybbe some orange on the spiritual line. I've noticed I've struggled a lot with feeling connected and belonging and which I think has resulted in a lot of anxiety, depression, and addictions. I'm starting to see that it might not be 100% caused only by me but also but the environment (social and cultural environment s mostly) which I am situated. That perhaps more advanced stages (im thinking mostly of stage orange) have constructed a society which suits them but is detrimental to lower stages who still need feeling of group identity, security, and belonging. This is one of the issues I feel I've faced quite a bit. I'm not sure what (my internal demons or valid needs for social security and beloning, which i think ive not had) is causing it (the feelings of isolation) or by how much. How much do you see this in modern culture? Do you think it's mostly an internal or group issue? By how much? How do you think this issue (social isolation) can be best solved? It's interesting, another thing we learned in this sociology class was that often the countries who exhibit more stage Orange levels of development (modern industrialized nations: like south korea for example) tend to have higher suicide rates. Even though they are higher on the SD stages. How can this be? Also, work that involved more education and specialization deemed to have higher suicide rates than manual labour and agricultural work.... I'm not so sure how accurate these last two statements are, since they came from studies in the era of Emile Durkheim (late-mid 1800s I think). Or if I stated them correctly as I might have been extrapolating from the data and interpreting it incorrectly.

Some animals in certain situations can have self destructive actions. a bug in australia almost went extinct because it was trying to mate with beer cans instead of females. some cats can harm themselves when they are neglected and abused or under duress or high stress. abused dogs would rather fight people than allow good ones to help them sometimes. Coyotes and such chewing a leg off to escape a trap. birds pushing their babies out of the nest to learn to fly. Christ basically attacking the established society. environment and psyche plays a big role here. In the grand scheme its like all forms of "evil" its necessary for this level of our reality, violence exists thats just that. as nature and society evolves it will change forms to hopefully more peaceful versions over time, for all things. It will continue to exist for a long time. Sometimes with glimpses of truth that someone is unprepared for it can lead to dangerous and destructive thoughts. Sometimes environments feel so constraining any way out can feel better than none. Sometimes things just get twisted in such a way that self destruction comes more naturally and survival has to be worked on. Life is not always pleasant and sometimes those dark tunnels lead to the greener pastures one is seeking. Sometimes it leads to an abyss you dont see until you're already falling. Tread carefully in these dangerous woods. Honestly sometimes its also necesssary, if i hadn't sabotaged some of my earlier relationships, i would have never been on this path and would have probably commited suicide. that self destruction has lead to a lot of pain and turmoil in my journey, but also some serious truths and realizations about myself that has helped me a lot regain myself after some really bad points. it also helped me unknowingly prepare mentally and emotionally for the deaths of my sister and father. It has also lead me to feel extremely isolated and alone, like im caged in a prison of my own design. Journeys through this world are unique and twisted and full of coincindence and paradox. sometimes its beautiful, sometimes not so much.

I recently started personal development after suffering for years with depression(some childhood problems and addiction due to illicit affairs my father had) and a year back I was diagnosed with depressional OCD and Schizophrenia(attempted suicide 4-times). I also have porn addiction. If you really have some time I told my entire life story briefly. Today I was watching Leo's latest video and at a point, he said awakening is a matter of life and death. I am really not aware of whether I want to know the TRUTH. But, I am in a sense felt that if I could align myself with the universe I can experience everything and particularly I can experience that I and my pug plippie(died on April 15 and that's two days after my birthday) are one and the same. What I am really aware of is I am not depressed that my pug died. Now, I am really happy that I had Plippie in my life. I am now a friend of a new dog Sandy(a golden retriever). I want to ask you guys, am I not aware of my interest in awakening? Am I missing something?

@cetus56 thanks just watched it, i resonate with it, i've been feeling various insights before their uploaded by leo's, it's strange how this was once again one of them, although the detail and common sense displayed is really well done, it's a good share, however their's various videos where i just don't feel like watching or i can tell i may not resonate with it and i accept that to be so, i let it all unfold naturally, yet i still hold a lot of fear at night ;x I'm honored, thanks leo for taking the time to add more detail into the awareness about the dangers of it @fridjonk I have read a trip about some silent mushroom trip, which keeps me uneasy about tripping in the dark, even the ibogaine done at the dark wasn't pleasant for me, the visions were too annoying and unstable, i'm familiar with tripping in the dark with my mind it just isn't pleasant yet i don't have enough trips to justify that, but i'll stay clean for now since i feel like there is no reason to rush on psychs, infact i just threw away 45g of mushrooms just a month or 2 ago i can't remember Quote: anonymous pm I had: "I underwent an experience very similar to the one you're describing in that post. I was about 19 or 20 and I ate 8 grams of dried mushrooms and sat in a dark, empty, silent room for 12 hours. Went into quite the head-hole, became convinced in the objective truth of solipsism and came to believe that everything in the world was mere puppetry I'd created for myself, that all love and relationships were fake, that everything was fake, and that life was fundamentally pure suffering. You might note the truths hidden in and woven through the lies there. It was quite a trap and thoroughly fucked me up. I didn't sleep for about 96 hours, couldn't function, could barely eat - my human experience felt so alien and wrong and so jarringly unfamiliar and uncomfortable to me. Everything about "having a body" was incredibly unsettling and I couldn't rest or shake it. It took me 9 months before I was able to even smoke weed or have a beer without immediately, suddenly tripping balls again, and even now, years and years later, I can only consume a fraction of any hallucinogen that I used to (marijuana included) before getting extremely powerful effects. It's very likely permanently impacted my life. That said - that discomfort, inability to sleep, etc - did, indeed, go away. You have introduced some very powerful, new, unsettling patterns into your perceptual space - but it's extremely unlikely that they're so powerful as to outweigh the combined strength of all of the patterns you've built up in your life to this point, and perhaps lifetimes before. In other words, if you focus on going about daily life as best you can and re-immersing in the mundane, "physical" human experience, all of those patterns will soon re-emerge and these new, uncomfortable ones will submit. I can't tell you how long it will be, and I don't have any particular recipe for resolving it, but I feel confident in telling you that this is impermanent. If it gets to the point that you find yourself acting drastically irrationally, violently, or self-destructively, it's worth pursuing medical help. Don't let yourself get to the point where you're going to commit suicide without giving good ol' Western medicine a chance to have a crack at ya. But I think it's a very, very low chance this will be necessary. I think all you're likely to need is a little more time. But there will be echoes of this that will last quite a while, more likely than not. If your experience proves to be as akin to mine as it seems, some of them will bring about positive insights and wisdom, and some of them will be inconvenient or painful. But you'll be fine. Trust yourself. You made all of this. You didn't sabotage yourself. Give it time."

How fear works part 1 “Tell me who you are and ill tell you what you fear Tell me what you fear and ill tell you who you are.” Fear is not a psychological problem or a human problem Why does fear occur? At the existential dimension. People barely teach fear because they don't understand it, we don't put importance on it where you would think to find understanding of fear like science, scientists are full of fear they usually don't know how it works so why learn from them about it. Fear might contradict current culture and science. Fear dominates your entire life -peter Ralston You’re fish in water a human in fear swimming in fear every day of your life this is deeper than an emotional problem-constant fear. And you don't even know it. The majority of your emotional system is outside your awareness its controlling you. Fear is a survival mechanism it's the thing that keeps you alive, it's not only that. All emotions are elaborate and sneaky or subtle. Fear is there to help you maintain whatever you identify with--maintain whatever you think you are. Survival is not just physical it is conceptual-social-cultural emotions are important facts don't exist in reality all that exists is emotion. You can kill your self image by not avoiding fear You cannot have an accurate perception of reality or do proper science if you are in fear. That you are is defined by your fears and what you fear defines what you identify as. Identities like being a human of a physical creature or real Identity is like the sun it has various layers to it the layers become denser and denser when we say your identity is the edges of the sun and the inside you cant be another way like being its easier to detach from your car then your family then to being a man or a woman it's hard to detach from being a human then a gender. You make yourself up to be this way out of thin air this is what your identity is as a human being you fear losing all of your attachments this is what you call death. total ego death or loss of self. All fear boils down to the fear of death. Psychological death or death of the self image. Suicide bombers don't fear death they fear being a bad Muslim this is how powerful identity is. Identity is relative it's hard to change it calcified Fear is constructed from the mind and is never objective or found out there then its projected outwards. ALL FEAR IS IMAGINARY Try validating this, the fear of death is imaginary. Become conscious of this it will change your view on so many things relationships, war, and politics. Everyone is scared shitless and all fear is falsehood and a lack of consciousness if you were totally conscious you would not fear anything you cannot even imagine a life without fear. There is no objectively dangerous situation even if you run into a bear it only depends on what you identify with Truth transcends fear because it transcends survival this is the way to realize Truth. Fear is an illusion. If you think the fear is real, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy society doesn't care about truth it cares about survival. It uses fear against you for survival. Your controlled through fear. Even high quality stage green fears are imaginary there's levels of delusion. Low level is being afraid of homosexuality or other religions higher fears are global warming or environment going bad these aren't completely irrational but there is a problem with the fear itself, Under the materialist paradigm where they think death is real fear seems legitimate or when you run out of money or when you meet a wild animal. There is nothing scientific or rational to fear. Radical terrorists don't want to disobey their god so this surpasses the fear of death so they suicide bomb in the name of truth. Which in reality is just another religion that became hideous. The real god allows this freedom you made up your whole life out of thin air, it's just a story you invented. You must misperceive reality in order to experience fear. If you know what death is you wouldn't fear it keep your mind open its possible all fear and death is just a misperception of reality and maybe death is an illusion. Maybe it's not true that no one can know what death is. Bring up a fear and feel it. Your not going to contemplate fear while a bear is charging you it's designed to keep you alive. Survival takes precedence over truth. Its a reaction without knowing why or what it is. Notice the times you are in fear and instead of reaction unconscious you can pause, feel it consciously and mindfully and ask what is it where is it why is it here what's its function and purpose. You only have fear when your in a bind. If you want to transcend it you have to change how you react to it start to feel it before you react to it it's counter intuitive. Every cell in your body will try to react to it. Real power is standing calmly and consciously in response to grave danger don't put yourself in grave danger most of your fears are relatively minor start with small stuff. Fear is resistance to a future experience The strength to experience everything (the strength to be okay with your daughter down an alleyway sucking dick for cocaine) Understanding this will transcend fear. You don't want to experience what you fear you refuse to experience without resistance. Consciousness doesn't have to do with god it has to do with this. Be able to cut off your hand experience everything without fear. You become conscious that you realize no harm was actually done and that pain never existed, you have to stop identifying as a physical body. The only way you can do it is totally align with truth. Use your imaginative mind to come up with radical fears that are with you that you don't even know this takes lots of consciousness and work fear is directly attached to survival. Brute survival trumps everything, Attachment creates fear. The solution is to surrender yourself to the very thing you are afraid of. Your beliefs logic and ideals are survival at work fear is the base/foundation of the pyramid and it gets less important as it goes up your logic does not touch your fears. Fear of being poisoned (Donald Trumps fear) the Russians are the masters of poisoning this tells you that he fears being crossed WRITE DOWN ALL YOUR FEARS (not going to give them here but that would be another fear for it to be public) Most common macro fears below Macro fears below There's thousands of these kinds of micro fears you will notice more and more. Become aware when you fear, notice micro fears and how it shapes your behavior and affects your thinking not just in your actions but feel them more rather than just reacting fear is not held just in the mind but tension in your body you have a lifetime of fear in your body. Fear happens in humans collectively Life is a love simulator another way to say that is to say life is to learn not to fear fear and love are inverse to say life is a love simulator is that life will present fear over and over again and life is trying to teach you to transcend it life grows your love the fear is an illusion this requires consciousness don't deny or avoid the fear confront it head on facing it so deeply that you won't react the same way when it happens again. It will probably take a long time to realize fear is an illusion. Confront your learned helplessness confront your mental behaviors obsessive habitual negativity boils down to fear. Confront the worst of it feel it. You will get relief and this will help you. Face your own greatness fear is a poor survival strategy sometimes it's healthy and effective but human life is more complicated than bears in the woods fear is a self fulfilling prophecy Fear of being authentic Fear of facing yourself being your best self. Face fear of death - You cannot manipulate your way out of death YOU WILL FACE The more you run from it the more you feel stuck in the fear There are real dangers in the world when it comes to relative fear and its healthy for physical survival this is a good short term survival strategy but never a long term. Fear is status quo fear is not for great change a great society has to be built on love Homework Observe your micro fears at the end of each day you will write down your micro and macro fears for the next 7 days contemplate the following question: How are these micro fears realized to my identity? How is my mind projecting these out onto the world? How am I creating these micro fears? How are your thoughts shaped by your fears? How are your actions shaped? What am I unwilling to experience? Coming in part 2 Top 10 ways to overcome fear What is the most important quality you need to succeed in life? Sorry for shit formatting, I copied it from youtube comments

I see what you're saying. , the Utopia you described above can only be achieved through the raising of human consciousness. Technological progress is just technology. Has it REALLY improved our lives? Yeah you can buy a Twinkie at a convenience store and go to a modern hospital (because of the Twinkie), but think about it... Isn't technology just used as an extension of our own consciousness? Depression, suicide, cancer, obesity, etc are at all time highs. Technology can amplify good and evil. And the only way we use it in a good way is by using it consciously. Mankind is still in the fucking dark ages. We are literally Monkeys with cool gadgets. For every penecillin there's an oxycontin. So it's both a technology AND human problem. I think we are pretty close to having the technology and resources to cover everyone's basic survival needs to the end of time, with ever increasing standard of living. But the human problem will take much longer. We aren't developed enough to overcome the greed, theft, and tribalism in order to distribute the bounty evenly. Not to mention sustainably... About your singularity point. General artificial intelligence, as it's called, will never happen. AI will soon be better than us at everything... Except deciding what to do. Real intelligence is a-mechanical. A neural network can learn how to play chess by playing itself, but it had to be taught the rules of the game. Therefore, technology will always be an extension of the current human condition. This is a fascinating topic. Thank you for sharing!

Right that's what I think of when I think of Bernie Sanders. I just got so frustrated when he dismissed the UBI idea and talked about the jobs guarantee. He says we need this that etc. I even remember when Leo said he'd be driven to commit suicide if he got one of those boring jobs (i.e. postal worker) where you just had to repeat the same thing everyday with no variety and/or creativity and if those are the jobs that come with the guarantee then it seems that Leo doesn't seem to give a shit about those people that'll actually end up with jobs like that because if they'd refuse those jobs they'd end up impoverished and miserable.

I've noticed that Enlightened people tend to go the path of least resistance. They "ride the wave" of life more easily and are grateful for what life brings to them. And let's be honest, life doesn't bring suicide upon you Lol You Gotta work to put a gun up to head?Life won't do that for you. So I guess, the simplest answer is, Enlightened people emulate life and do what life does. And life doesn't commit suicide, so they don't

@SvanteTheBeast Enlightenment will allow you to be free from the identity of ego. You will still have an ego, but not be attached to it, and ideally put an end to the suffering in life. This is something attainable while living. Why would you commit suicide? You can live life and have the ability to step out of your ego identity.

@SvanteTheBeast Why should the body pay the price of suicide for the ego's ignorance?

Enlightenment is not equivalent to ego death or death or suicide. Enlightened folks still have an ego/self. I believe you misconstrue Enlightenment with enlightenment experiences. Enlightenment experiences, otherwise known as Awakening experiences or mystical experiences, are temporary, temporal experiences one can have that cause ego death. But once the experience ends, the ego is back. Ego death is a temporary death, it is not the same as suicide.

I really am not planing for making suicide but I just dont understand this, if enlightenment is equal to death or ego death, why just dont make suicide?

if enlightenment is equal to death or the death of the ego, why dont just make suicide?

@Key Elements Fun video. Yes that is a form of empowerment and it takes a lot of courage. I can see a lot of value in empowerment, leading quietly through example and understanding that those who cause harm may do so due to their own trauma and by acting out unconsciously. Yet I also see some situations with power dynamics that are so imbalanced that the recipient of harm has no chance of gaining sufficient empowerment to overcome their oppressor and it’s helpful for leaders to directly intervene and be noticed. For example young children being traumatized in cages in the border have no chance of getting empowered enough to overcome their oppressors. I think behind the scenes quiet leadership to address the situation is helpful. I also think leaders directing inserting themselves, confronting oppressors and bringing it to the attention of society is also helpful. I volunteered for years in a psychiatric ward. Most of the patients I worked with were female victims of domestic violence. It would be great to empower women such that they can stand up to their abuser and smack him down like in the video. Yet that is not the reality I saw in the hospital. These women were virtually powerless. They were trapped in abusive homes and had nowhere to turn. No family, friends or social support system. They had no financial resources, lack of education and were dependent on their abuser for shelter and food. They were generally gaslighted and terrified to take any action that would upset their abuser. Most had been taken into the psychiatric ward after attempting suicide. The power dynamic was soooo far tilted toward the abuser that the video you posted looks like a naive and bizarre portrayal of domestic violence and how to address.

Let's try and blow this shit wide open. Enough people have committed suicide. Enough lives have been ruined because of this stuff. It needs to stop now.