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30mg, dissolved in vinegar, + coconut milk, inhaled... Felt like a kitchen cleaning sponge ran through my body, top to bottom, and removed all traces of impurities, thoughts, concepts. I had no sensory input whatsoever, and I became this .... cool (low temperature) superconductor for what felt like Pure Will, shimmering and trembling. I was in pure bliss, only 'thought' was "whaaaaaaaat ???!!?!?!?!" Because I didn't have a body anymore, and ego was gone, I experienced absolutely NO Resistance, (hence the idea of superconductor), and it was absolute bliss. Also the certitude that that is the original state, and when this body dissolves, I'll return to that, lead to the realization of Eternity, and fear of Death gone. Is this what people mean by God/Godhead?

Bi-location Multi-location Astro-travel And yes I follow myself, who better to follow than yourself. Who's ideas are better than your own. That's the thing about the 0.1% of this world, why follow idiots when you can follow a unique genius like yourself. And if anyone has a problem with it fuck off and die. It's funny people always say to me, "You never do what I say." 55555 Think of it, you understand exact what you are saying, why you do the things that you do, you understand everything about yourself, even why your stupid jokes are so funny, you can just sit back and laugh, or give yourself multiple full body orgasms, no other person can do that for me, why you ask? Because it's an internal process, everything is internal, once people realize that this world will be very different place. You see the world the way your brain wants you to see the world, like a computer, it processes information, use it like artificial intelligence, machine learning, the more information you feed it the smarter and more accurate it becomes, we have unlimited cloud storage, you can upgrade your brain to have infinite speeds there are no limits, the fastest computer in a million years is a fraction of what every person carries with them all day every day. Like the EMS 0.0035%. People are programmed to believe the stupidest things, deprogram yourself, system reboot yourself, switch operating systems, change is great, life is great, everything is great, change thoughts, change beliefs, change occupation, change clothes, change your life, staying the same only gets you stuck in a rut, in your own prison, where everything is boring, life sucks, work sucks, everything fuckin sucks, free yourself ride on top of the waves of life, live in complete bliss 24/7, everything is automatic, relax and enjoy every moment of life, create massive happiness inside you instantly with the new drug your liver aka chemistry lab made for you, the only side effect complete bliss forever, forever on top of the world being the godhead forever, Life is whatever you want it to be, everything is free, your super computer, the mass amounts of entities you create to do your bidding, bliss is free, people think that something external will cause bliss, sorry to say you create it internally, you can travel to other worlds or explore this one free, they call that astro travel, whatever sounds challenging really it's as simple as tying your shoes, Here I'll explain how very simple; First get into the day dream state of mind, (don't worry closing your eyes is only for people that think you can't do this with your eyes open, Idiots!) Think of a place you want to visit Now go there in your daydream state The more you do this the more real it becomes sometime you'll wonder which one is real, or are they all real. I bet if you went back to the exact spot people will remember you! Sorry I said astro travel this is more like bi-location being in two places at once or multi-location being in more than one place at the same time You can practice this anywhere, at boring school, at boring job, at home being bored out of your mind, while your doing other things like typing how to do this! And to think only the elite people know this shit. Confidential US Military Secrets So simple yet stupid society makes everything look impossible, and we already have this talent, like can you remember the first time you ever daydreamed? Did you close your eyes first? 555 want to relax completely say"relax" and repeat it, pretend your entire body is totally relaxed, see everything in life relaxing with every step repeat the word "RELAX" (anchor word) believe that as soon as you say the word you will relax each time you say it the more relaxed you become, turn the knob/push the button to relax more or less, scale it 1 little relaxed 10 very relaxed think of the number and relax that much, practice acting like your the star of a movie and in the scene you are completely relaxed. The brain doesn't know the difference between acting and real life events, tell your brain something and that will become a belief if done in a daydream state of mind Instead of speaking act as if you are doing what ever you want, pretend you don't speak the language. Be Creative, people will like it and if they don't they can fuck off and die. People say I can't go into trance, daydream is trance, ever been hypnotized? Your always hypnotized. Every moment your mind is being programmed, mind control is always happening, by you or someone else or something else!

All spiritual pursuits I’ve come across in the past seven years of really studying spirituality can be boiled down to humans developing methods to experience states of consciousness or experiences that are desired, if we are being honest with ourselves. To be short, people want everything other than suffering, and spirituality is potentially the most potent method we know of to escape suffering. It shows us the highest of highs possible, but it is ultimately manipulation of this reality to make it more palatable and pleasant. I use the word reality here to describe this thing we currently find ourselves in, so I will use the word reality to describe dreams as well as there is ultimately no fundamental difference between nighttime dreams and this reality on an existential level. It’s all just consciousness at play with itself generating appearances that feel most real when experienced in the home reality/dream. Why do I bring up dreams/the other realities you experience every night? I do so to present the possibility of viewing interacting with realities in a more purist way. If you were to take the spiritual person’s approach to the dream world, they would read some esoteric texts in the dream to teach themselves how to lucid dream, and then they would proceed to remove all things they didn’t like from the dream. The normal person’s approach would be to just go along with the dream/reality by its rules, enjoying simple pleasures whenever they can be found. Isn’t kind of the point of a nightmare to be scared? Sure, suffering in any reality isn’t pleasant, but isn’t it an integral part of the game? I think removing suffering only seems desirable from the limited perspective of one lifetime (at least that you have direct memory of) spent as a human or other living being on planet Earth. If you lived in a reality of constant parties, pleasure, and bliss and possessed the qualities of a full-fledged god, I think you would eventually want to add something else into the mix. Theoretically, in comes suffering and the idea to erase your memory when entering into a new life. Alan Watts actually has a good talk about this concept. I’ve embedded it. As another example, if you were to take a spiritual person’s approach to movies and literature (assuming the spiritual person were living in this movie or book), you would take away all conflict from the story as soon as possible. Where is the fun in that? How boring would that be? Now, of course, spiritual people aren’t the only people who to try to evade suffering, but it seems to be the highest order solution to the problem of suffering. The highest of spiritual masters have supposedly been able to transcend it altogether. In summary, spirituality is the biggest escapist mechanism humanity has ever found. Maybe we should just live with life as it is without trying to alter consciousness to present itself how we (our egos) want it. Ultimately, survival itself, in any reality, is the attempt to manipulate reality and bend it to your will. Maybe we should stop bending.

This gave me a realization just now. If we are to take direct experience as a source of truth, wouldn’t the direct experience of suffering be just as true and valid as experiences of infinite bliss, love, etc? I think spirituality as a whole is the human mind glorifying what is most desired. Everyone talks about the Truth in bliss and love, but who is there preaching about the Truth in the suffering? Who is rejoicing in the suffering? Don’t mistake me. Being a Buddha who does not experience unpleasant events as sources of suffering is not the same as rejoicing in the suffering. Maybe I should work on a post about the spiritual value of suffering.

Life is always conspiring to give you everything you want. Every time you stumble upon something undesirable, an unpleasant situation or event, you create a desire too. This desire life then conspires to bring to you. Everything you want is not something you have to do, it is already on its way to you. If you want something, you will get it, unavoidably so. Nothing too hard for life to give you. There is nothing that this physical reality could produce of desires in you, that life isn't able, or isn't going to, give you. All the manifestations of your desires are already going to manifest in the perfect order, the perfect timing. In this life or the next. There is nothing you have to do (that is efforting) to life a life of happiness, bliss, peace, wonder, or whatever you desire. Life is always supporting you 100%. You also always get your own vibrations, your own beliefs, reflected back at you. So life is always supporting you in what you hold as true and what you are being/doing vibrationally. So if you think you need to do effort, to struggle, to get what you want, you will attract circumstances and people that will support the vibrational reality underlining the idea you hold there. If you believe you're a classy guy, a poor woman or a big dick, you'll get that back too. Therefor, you only have to lower your resistance, to let go of the beliefs that aren't feeling good for you. Because your choosing of the thoughts that aren't feeling pleasant or natural to you are the things that create the unpleasant life. But you have an inner being, or a higher mind, who is with you, loves you and is all there for you. It knows all your beliefs that are blocking you from attracting all you would want, knows your circumstances, etc. Considering where you are at and your circumstances, it is guiding you by your inspirations, passions, attractions, curiosity, excitements, joys, etc. By acting on these inspirations, excitements, etc., it is guiding you through the path of least resistance to all your desires, to all that will fulfill you. If you act on its guidance it navigates you around all the obstacles. To you it might seem like this path is going in a roudabout way to what you want when you follow it, but it is the shortest (and perhaps sweetest) path. So the only thing to do is to let go and allow yourself to do the things that make you feel good, whetever that is reading a book in the moment, taking a walk, watching a movie, making a website, etc. and life shall become the stream of ease, wonder, peace, magic, joy, love and excitement you so desire.

@BlackMaze I've never lost a child, but I lost my baby brother. This is bliss because it is essential in feeling pleasure and happiness, without suffering there would be no opposite.

Everything is one massive firework of pleasure, enjoyment, thrill and fun. It's all a joke, a play, a fucking BALL! THRIVE!!! LIVE!!!! IT'S SO MUCH FUN!!! Literally everything is an extension of the one true self. If you use a camera to capture an image, that camera essentially becomes an extension of your eyes. The same way you are a biological extension of awareness, unraveling into infinity and feeling the endless flow of bliss

In Spiritual community, Jesus Christ is seen as the enlightened Mystic who found the Truth or the Kingdom of God within. Much of his original teachings got distorted when they were put in writing. Some of the messages were intentionally modified or hidden in order to escape persecution. But one can still see the original Vedantic wisdom in many verses of the Bible. In this video, I have discussed the true message of Jesus and how the original Christian teachings guide people towards Spiritual Enlightenment or Self-realization. Bible Verses discussed in the video: Luke 17:21 The kingdom of God is within you John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” John 3:3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Matthew 18:3 And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 6:19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. (A related verse, Bhagavad Gita 2:23 is also discussed). Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, Mark 1:15 "The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God has come near. Repent and believe the good news!" John 10:11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. Matthew 11:15 Whoever has ears, let them hear. ******************************************************** I have discussed the connections between Christianity and Vedanta more in my book 'Discovering God: Bridging Christianity, Hinduism': https://www.amazon.in/dp/B07XRJ3GWS If you want to support my work, you can donate. Visit this link for the details: https://nellaishanmugam.wordpress.com/donate/ Here is the poem discussed in the video titled "Good News": Your life is the most beautiful mystery And the screen which plays your private history; Your life is the truth, consciousness, and bliss That can’t be pointed out as that or this. The life screen is the only truth you know; All that are manifest move in its show; This essence of life is your true nature; Knowing this ends the distress and torture. The one truth that pervades the time and space Shines in the heart and showers love and grace; By the veil of darkness it is concealed; By nonstop inquiry, it is revealed. That one truth is called by various names; Deep inside you, it eternally flames; It is the immortal life and the way; Look inside, you can find its sparkling ray! From the dawn of life, seers have seen this And were reborn by its transforming kiss; Unless you’re reborn as a wide-eyed kid, It remains tucked away by a dark lid. Those who mourn will be appeased by its shade; Their craving thirst will be killed by its blade; Those who cleaned their heart are blessed by its touch; The mere words can convey only this much. Neither moth nor rust can impair this truth; None can steal it and none can cause your ruth; No spade can cut it and fire can’t burn it; Water can’t wet it and wind can’t dry it. The birds of the blue sky don’t sow or reap; About tomorrow, they don’t grieve or weep; Like those blissful birds, you can become free Then You’re not the wave, but the boundless sea! Listen to this good news and wipe your tears! Wake up from your dream and destroy your fears! The guiding good shepherd is inside you As a light that shines with a golden hue! Whoever has ears, let them hear this song; With their friends and foes, let them get along! The kingdom of heaven is filled with love where the peace descends on you like a dove! The poem is also published here: https://nellaishanmugam.wordpress.com/2018/08/07/the-good-news-a-poem-connecting-biblical-and-vedantic-thoughts/ I am looking for someone to volunteer to compose music, sing and create a professional music video for the above poem. If you want to help, please contact me here: https://nellaishanmugam.wordpress.com/contact/

I’ve found family, having kids, to be the single most fulling aspect of experience possible. Much more so than enlightenment, which is who I am either way. An inexplicably mystical groundhogs day of love, joy, laughter, learning, self discovery and togetherness. Bliss. Nowhere I can turn, nowhere I can go, which is not radiant visceral love. Infinite L??P. “I mean what's the point of it all right?”. Nothing like a kid to make you realize how full of shit you are. ? Inspect those who avoid and can not tolerate such interaction. Contemplate this, child.

@Dodo @Hotaka I have read the bible many times, and my view of Jesus has evolved. I tend to prefer the direct quotes of Jesus to the writings of his disciples, and when I read what Jesus actually said, the meaning is more profound than I used to realize. For example, I used to think "heaven" is some physical plane of perpetual bliss, where I would live with Jesus, both of us as separate entities, forever. I now read Jesus saying the Kingdom of Heaven is within, and the realization of what he meant by that has made all the difference.

The best pranayama: I'll share the most blissful pranayama I've ever tried. It's very poorly explained on originalkriya.com and it's the one SantataGamana modified to his own. It requires the ability to feel the first 6 chakras. Gently point your eyes towards the 3rd eye. Do ketchari mudra if you can. Gently do ujjayi breathing. On the in breath, bring up the memory of the 1st chakra in kutastha (middle of the 6th chakra). Mentally chant OM in the 6th chakra to open the remembered chakra. The chant should create a felt vibration in the head, just like you were chanting om out loud. The You should get a sense of comfort in your head as the 1st chakra opens in your head. Repeat for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th chakra and lastly chant OM in the 6th chakra alone. This should all be done during the in breath, as a total of 6 OMs. During the out breath repeat but go down instead of up. If doing 12 OMs during each breath requires efforts. You can do one chakra per breath with a long OM on the in breath and another on the out breath. All chakras are reflected in the 6th chakra. This is why they can be opened in it. To feel a chakra in the 6th chakra you can start by feeling it in it's location, then replicate the same feeling in the middle of your head. After a while you will be able to bring up a chakra in kutastha just by remembering it, with no need to divert your attention from kutastha. When chanting OM, your head you should feel blissful. You should feel comfort, pleasure, joy and love for the first 4 chakras respectively and a sense of purification for the 5th chakra. At the same time you should feel still and at peace. The point of opening the chakras in the 6th chakra is to collect your prana there. It should make you very pressent. The road to God in paved with bliss. The technique is not set in stone. There is an idea behind it but do what works best for you. Krita yoga is about results, not preforming a technique perfectly.

@Hatfort I love what they did anyways. Things became much better and life got much more interesting for me personally than when Saddam was in power. I don't care how many people died. Saddam Hussain unlike say UAE or SAudi rulers have proven he's not reliable and he has to go period. I never ever regret what has hapenpend, but what I regret is the stupidity of, yet again, guys like you, because you are stil clinging to an idea of "if Bush had not invaded Iraq" You did choose this point in time and you decide it to cast the blame on it ignoring everything else. I am telling you it is so stupid to choose one point in time. Why don't you choose the point in time when Obama did let a genocide happened in Iraq, when in 1 day, 5000 Yazidis were killed and 3000 women enslaved? Why Didn' you choose a point when 1/3 of Iraq was occupied by ISIS while obama was watching? I know your whole identity hinges upon this, an I will not regret pushing you into an early life crisis for this, cuz you are wrong. I love George Bush, and he's a saint in my eyes, and I saw people who are way more evil than he ever was or could ever be. In fact I will order his book of paintings that he did and hopefully I can get it signed while thanking him for saving the young me. YOu know why? because for me everything has passed. AS I mentioned, Iraq now is not a country anyways, but I am here, and I am developing myself and growing in knowledge and wisdom, and this is all what matters to me. But to you, you are imagining he existance of nations like Iraqis and Kurds, and all you care about is for these nations to be well and happy, maybe ust maybe because your ego cannot deal with the fact that you as an American, you are also responsible for demolishing some nations, like the original indians, and you don't want to happen again, especially with nations that you know and love, It is your issue that you are unable to live with the fact, and maybe because you want things to be ideal and you think you can achieve that, and for this I invite you to look at the success story of Japan after WWII , the prosperity of nations like South Korea and other nations supported by western powers. It is disgusting that you try to lessen what I could have been through if I joined the Iraqi army. Cuz You have no idea about how bad it is jst to join the army in Saddam's time. It would have been another shocking experience that I managed to avoid by the bliss of the Iraqi Freedom Operation.

"The best model I have currently is that there are an infinite degrees of consciousness and none of them are permanent." Sorry Do not know how to quote yet I have read all except for the rant(not much of a rant mood now) I agree fully No state is permanent. I feel like you open a doorway more than "Become" Enlightened . And you kinda get the "feel" for it and can go to God consciousness with much more ease after huge breakthroughs. The Zen masters try to go beyond the enlightened state looking for "More" and fixating on some "samadhi". Zen for me is a forced enlightenment while the buddha focused on the truth: "There is no permanent state" Enlightenment for me is more of a way of being and acting than a blissful flight through life. Service to others and no Ideal war on who has the sharpest mind and longest tongue. A permanent Enlightened State is a prolonged psychosis.(very hard to sustain) The middle way is to give up this bliss to address matters of most importance. In the time of the buddha it was the most influential to be either a spiritual master or a king. In our days I say it is to be: " A hacker " [mind is also a computer][Ideas are viruses][or rather a seed which will ripen] or to be: " Very very rich " [care not to get posseted by your possession] That is the truth, by Leo's principle of "do the thing which is emotionally most difficult to do" I feel we all need to crush the static hell we actually live in . Sorry . Its no time for bliss.(my view) More of a time for war Do not know about god.. . But I had enough. Will do my best. Promise P.s please proof me wrong for The best battle Is that which did not take place.. . Daniel Li Rodenko or The play ._.__._|

I really don't think they are uncommon. I do think they are commonly misinterpreted. Following becoming very interested in the forum and talking and fighting with a lot of members here I had an intense purge of shadow stuff followed by a realization of oneness, synchronicity and intuition. I would sleep for short bursts at a time and wake up with revelations and write them out. Felt like channeling, like I couldn't rip myself away if I tried. My biggest judgments, fears and traumatic moments were seen in an entirely new light and Understanding of Love. Things I had always loved and were drawn to and never knew why were also included in this Understanding. I realized that this was just a story, brilliantly, creatively un"written". There was a moment after a big realization where it seemed like "something" popped, but it was something and nothing at the same time, just like... awareness. Then just bliss, and more experiences of realization for days. People glowed. Everything glowed. People's faces seemed bathed in a light of love. I had no sense of time, it sped away. I'd observe my parents lamenting over something in their fridge that spoiled and intensely knew in my heart that it was the most ridiculous thing, of course nothing could be wasted. I had almost perfect balance, I had an intuition to turn a rock over and it was covered with fossils. I knew I couldn't die, it was laughable. The bliss lasted for a few weeks. Then hedonic adaptation ensued, some old thought patterns snaked their way back in, I had to stop being a blissed out asshole and come back to earth, but I knew that I had been given the most priceless non-map I ever could have been given. I've since had smaller minor purges of shadow stuff. @Delis Have you looked into reiki or any similar kind of healing therapies?

ignorance is bliss

Maybe you are supposed to forget some things. Maybe ignorance is bliss sometimes.

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? A watched pot never boils and there's no "we", "there" or "yet" Your thoughts are an object of awareness, and mind notices contrast. So if you've been holding a lot of beliefs that are causing you to resist, and then one or more of those beliefs is let go, the feeling of lightness is incredible, blissful. Mind notices the contrast, just like when you have the stomach flu for a day and suddenly recover, you feel a sense of bliss. Contrast is created by mind. You didn't gain anything but you released an unconscious tension. It's ok to want the bliss, but to get it you have to not hold it apart from yourself in mind created tension of time and space. So when people are like, "it's already done, there's nothing to want, you're enlightened", they are 100% right but can in their own experience unconsciously cover over or resist desire. Resisting desire or search is resistance and an unwillingness to explore desire or search. Then when people are like, "there's infinite levels", they create a story that of themselves in a position on a ladder or path suggesting that they are somehow lacking, or not where they want to be, which can hold them in an experience of lack. Either take-a-way or conclusion to this problem can perpetuate resistance. That's why we debate this so much. Someone tries to find security in one or the other, and the other senses the security and feels insecure in response. Neither of these take-a-ways are right, yet they both are true. All you can do is become aware of your own resistances by feeling into them. Excitement, mystery and anticipation of what may come is an amazing feeling that can only be experienced right now. In the actual experience of that feeling, there's no story of time or location.

@Keyhole Yeah sure, everybody that has headphones on is always because they are in total bliss and super-concentrated and not because they are as bored as fuck so they put up some music Lol.

@James123 yes brother once you become pure Actuality by realizing directly the self is an illusion that is it. There is no mistaking it and your life will never be the same because it was seen through This dissolves the ego and God breaks through the chains of the dream. But then one as God , the formless, can still have realizations. Such as the nature of itself. It can become conscious of it's Nothingness or its Everythingness. For it is truly Infinite. It can become conscious fully of Itself which is identical to Bliss or falling in Love with Itself. So notice the thoughts of the ego are first dissolved but Infinite Mind is what dawns.

There is always a three character set repeating through every social scenario in this world wherever you go and whatever level you see. Whether it's family, workplace or government and politics, we have these three archetypes always playing out. One is an oppressor of evil person trying to dominate the weak and the decent people. The other is the decent folks who don't know to get rid of the evil person and a hero who understands the need to rescue the weak from the devilry and abuse of the oppressor. One is the hero. The other is the villain and the third are the decent people or victim who need to be understood and protected.. This 3 character set is the trinity that keeps repeating itself and this trinity is a reflection of God, the Devil and man. Because of the devil's efforts the man is drowning. And the only thing that can save him from drowning is God using his sunshine to pull him up. The earth will always need the sun. God is the safety net But the man is too attached to all the garbage around him. He doesn't realize that living in this world means living in garbage.. And he won't let this garbage go. When a man is too attached to this garbage,his suffering will be tremendous God is trying to pull him out of this garbage. Because spirituality is totally free from such garbage and is totally pure. It's pure bliss and love But the mind of the man is all surrounded by garbage and he is too attached to it. So it's difficult for him to be pulled out. Yet when we allow God he pulls us up and shows us the right path to pure bliss. Pure love. It's almost like standing on top of a mountain and feeling all of that coolness and freedom in that place, feeling that bliss. God's love is pouring like a beautiful calming shower of snow. It feels like pouring love. But you miss out on this pure love and bliss from God and the Universe because of your closed heart. When the heart is closed, the window is closed and God's sunshine cannot get in. When the heart is opened window is opened, and God's sunshine can reach to help you. How to open this heart to God's sunshine and bliss? By getting away from the garbage. By letting go of the garbage. By reducing the attachment to the garbage. By practicing spirituality and empathy. Empathy opens the heart. By allowing God to protect you from the presence of the devil and the oppressor, by letting God to help you and pull you up and show you the right path and direction. By trusting and having faith in God and being in communion with God. An empathetic heart opens up to God much faster than a Unempathetic heart. An Unempathetic heart is like a closed window. And an ignorant mind is also a closed window. Some people lack in heart, others lack in intellect and still others lack in both. Both heart and intellect are important. A beautiful empathetic loving heart and a conscious, clear, open, understanding, wise intelligent sharp mind. The opposite of a wise mind is a corrupted and self righteous ignorant mind. To open to God, you need a basic frequency or threshold of a loving kind heart and a willing open intelligent mind.

So I've stopped with psychedelics for a while, but a few months ago I had the most crazy experience on 275ug of ETH-LAD (my absolute favourite psychedelic, always felt really deep and amazing). To compare it, it feel probably stronger then 750ug of LSD, it's INTENSE. So I took it and a girl messaged me on Discord while I was coming up. I could barely text, but somehow managed to start a call, but I could barely say anything. The idea of what a girl even is kinda started to dissolve. So we broke up the call because it was impossible to talk to me, since I was already hallucinating crazy fractels and could not talk. I wasn't expecting much to happen, so I just continued by watching music videos, I watched "Girls like Girls" by Heyley Kyoko, and I was just SO IMMERSED in it. At some point I kinda got the feeling that I'm actually really god and everyone is me. I looked at the girl in the video, and I was convinved she was me, all the views on the video were from me, I made the video and all the other videos I saw. Then it get's fuzzy, since I think I blacked out a few times during the trip. I ended up on my bed, and in my head I just involunarely started repeating "Everything is one, I'm one, one one one one ONE!!!! It felt like I finally realized something so obvious and just shouted it in my head over and over. I also had such an intense feeling of love. I kept repeating in my head "I love everything so much, I love you SO SO MUUUUCH OMG!!!" (I know there was a duality there). It was very weird and I can't put these thought processes into words very well, it was so insane. It felt like EVERYTHING in my life was constructed to lead me to this realization, all my friends, everyone I passed by on the street, my family, all of them were nudging me towards this. It felt like everything, even the Coronavirus had a purpuse and was absolutely perfect, it was just the perfect dance of the universe. It also literally felt like I was at the steering wheel of the whole universe, and everything was watching me. I thought of other people, famous people, and it was like as if I was just revealing that all of the were just me. Leo is me, all the other Youtubers are me, my friends are me, Taylor Swift is me and so on. It felt like as if I was revealing that love is the true way, and I think I was thinking about "bad things" and was like "NO, LOVE IS THE WAY!". At some points, I felt like no one, including my family existed, at other points, I did feel like they existed and they were aware of me realizing that I was god, even though they were asleep and I was in my room alone at night. I had clear audatory hallucinations of them walking around and being so shocked about my realizations. I also did weird things, like at some point I bit into a chocolate orange candy I had in my room for some "profound" reason I can't remember and then just made a mess with the chocolate all over my bed without realizing it. Something that I realized later was kinda dangerous is that I also had other drugs lying around. When the morning came, I just felt so confused, I wasn't even sure if I took a psychedelic in the evening or what even happend, it just kinda came to me later. I was so shocked, I just cleaned up the mess on my bed, took a benzo and just slept it off. I never experienced any fear during the trip, it was absolute bliss, but when it ended I was just so shocked, overwhelmed and wasn't even sure anymore if any of this was true or if I just deluded myself. I have weird glimpses of the groundlessnes of the Universe and also felt like I was completely empty and had no personality on high doses of ETH-LAD (200-250ug) and LSD (up to 750ug). But I didn't really know what it was, I think I just understood it when I saw Leos videos. But also, I watched Leos videos about oneness and love before that trip, so I'm not sure if I just diluded myself during this trip because I had these ideas, since I think you can also get extremely dilusional on psychedelic trips. I would just like to hear other's opinions about it. Thanks for any replies <3

It is not a nonsense. You might superficially know that there is no "you" (I assume you mean ego) but you don't quite get that. Until you're absolutely aware that you are god, you have to work with what you have (based on what level of consciousness you're currently at). So it's better to be yourself and express your unique talents and personality. You will feel better (it's better to feel good than miserable, right?) and feel-good emotion will align you with your true nature which is infinite bliss. You will get closer and closer to the Truth. Btw, I didn't have direct experience to God. Just writing what I feel is true.

Many of us are interested in Shadow Work. Until Leo decides to publish an episode sharing his knowledge on the topic, this book (and Carolyn's work in general) is something that I would recommend every one must check out. Existential Kink (EK) is a powerful shadow work technique taught by Carolyn Elliott. The basic premise that she starts with is, 'Having is the evidence of wanting.' Which means, a part of us deeply desires whatever shitty circumstances, situations, people, patterns etc. we have in our life. Nay, (the part) not just deeply desires but loves them tremendously, gets orgasmic bliss out of them. This part is our Shadow and it's unconscious. Before you jump up and say there is no part of you that deeply desires these challenging situations, please note that it's unconscious, which means you are not aware of it. The technique (EK) is about getting on the side of this part and deeply loving, getting off on the situation (and the sensations it causes in your body) that you don't like. This act of loving the Shadow, 'Unites our Will.' Most of us have divided wills. For example, let's say I want to make money by starting a business. Then, of course, the conscious part loves the idea of making money and being my own boss etc. But on an unconscious level, I might love comfort more; I might have an aversion towards all the hard work, decision making, marketing, learning etc. that is required in order to successfully run a business. This division of will would keep me stuck. I would find myself starting to work on my ideas but after making some progress I would self-sabotage my efforts. Well, there is actually no self-sabotage! It's just that the Shadow, which loves the comfort, decides to take charge and push her agenda over my conscious intent. This, to my conscious mind, would appear to be so confusing. 'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.' - Carl Jung However, if my will was united, I would find myself working effortlessly and joyfully and harmoniously towards my goals, even if I continue to fail or see lack of results. My experience: I wanted to work on my life purpose for a very long time. I 'struggled' for 6 long years to finally start working on it consistently. The pattern was that I would start working on something, then see no results or get tired of all the hard work, and stop working on it. For the first two years, I tried and failed many times and then stopped trying. It felt like I met a dead end. Thus, I started working towards getting a job. It took me around a year to prepare and get done with the process of getting a job in a bank. I worked there for three years. I recently quit my job in order to work on my Life Purpose. I was living on my own when I was in the job, in a different city. When I quit the job, I moved in with my parents. It's been around 2.5 months since this move. I got to know about EK around three years ago through Carolyn's blog, around the time I started preparing for the job. But back then, the book wasn't published. So even though I tried and did see good results with the technique, I wasn't able to do it properly and consistently. A few months ago, the book was published and I was quite excited about it. I pre-ordered it and received an EK guided meditation as a gift, too. Lucky me! So when I returned home and started working on my Life Purpose, I also started practicing EK consistently. And man, did everything shift so quickly! I started with the practice by loving the pain of having this, 'start and stop' pattern. As I continued to love this pain, I discovered a deeper unconscious pain of being a burden on my parents. I discovered a part of me that deeply loves being dependent on my parents. I was totally unconscious of its existence. If someone had pointed this out to me, I would have shrugged it off as something so stupid. Consciously, I have not a tinge of desire to be dependent on my parents. Of course, it is quite taboo for a grown up to be dependent on one's parents. But the 'inner child' loves it anyway. The result is guilt and shame. Guilt and shame keeps us stuck. Which is what was happening with me. I have been doing EK on this pain and it has significantly dissolved. I have been working my ass off on my life purpose and LOVING the process. I work for hours in FLOW. PLEASE NOTE that EK practice is not all roses. It's the very opposite of that. It's like going through deep shit and not minding it. For example, I don't mind being a burden on my parents for the rest of my life. You can imagine how hard it is to accept and love an idea like that. On the other hand, there is so much freedom in being able to love myself so deeply. This freedom unlocks so much energy to work on my conscious intentions. I know I have written such a long post but I want to get across the power of EK as accurately as I can. It is LIFE CHANGING. I wish you a profound life. Warning: You might find Carolyn's personality a bit weird (she calls herself a witch). However, be as open minded as you can about studying her work.

I wanted to share an experience of love that happened with other. A woman that I admired for some time for her beauty, openness, flowing nature, child-like qualities, innocence, and caring qualities. Watching this woman flow in of itself is a transformative experience. Deep in mediation I saw a belief structure that no woman like that could possibly love me. Seeing this literally opened the floodgates of love. I had a deep seeing and recognition that not only it wasn't true that such a woman wouldn't love me, but that she was me. The veil of separation lifted and I could see and feel her in her purity, exquisiteness, like I was part of every cell of her being. All the while surrounded by a sweet soft lovingness. The recognition of our non separateness itself was love. This has continued in meditation with her where there is a sense of shared space and shared timeless knowing. A shared womb-like space of shared godly loving. Her admission of the same shared space and strong psychic connection literally caused my energy centers to explode open. I am not in relationship with this woman and in complete awe and bliss around this experience. I wanted to share here because of the perceived openness of this community to this and from a curiosity if anyone else has had similar experiences. I am a PhD science guy so this is out of the realm of what I thought was possible and likely the reason why I am attracted to Leos work.

@LastThursday Yes, that is what I am thinking. But before you get there - where being happy is not dependent on the situation - it doesn´t help much to think what you should feel or shouldn´t feel. It is as it is. In my case it felt good to move from my parents. Though I have a very caring and decent family. But my mother is a kind of person who needs concepts about everything including my humble self. I think, this is what oppressed me unconsiously. I felt like escaping a cage when I moved at the age of 16, though I had always more freedoms than any of my friends. The rigid concept of me, which my mother maintained, all that expectations and desperations... I am even not sure if I don´t do the same in relation to my daughter. Definitely I do. I definitely do have a concept of her. Damn, is it difficult not to have. But at least I am aware of it and take it as my problem, not hers. All in all I think Bliss should move out. P.S.: But the funny thing is that everything is a concept and in the first place ME. A concept_of_ME_having_a mother_which_has_A concept_of_ME Crazy merry-go-round