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  1. Trump is an American citizen. Trump has nothing to do with Russia, I can ensure you of that. The left has a fantasy with Putin, so they think it's all about Russia and that Trump is somehow controlled by the Russians. Come on! We can do better than that. The main reason you see all this hype in the media is that Trump is pulling us back to the era of nation-states. The left doesn't like the idea of a nation-state and community; that's why they are screaming so much. The left would embrace globalism rather than healthy-nationalism. What I don't like about the left is the fact that they don't understand that Western Civilization gave us human rights. They don't grasp the importance of the concept of law. They think the justice system is somehow racist. But look at the fact that most people who are in jail are white. Anyway, we need a nation-state. We need communities in order to survive. Globalism doesn't work. Look at the rates of suicide these days. Look at the shitty pop culture we are getting from celebrities. We abandoned the family value. We gave up on the Christian God and then ask, who am I? What do you mean "who am I"? There is nothing to find. Happiness is found in meaning, family, and community. We gave up on those, of course, and we wonder why we don't have a purpose in life. I've been reading a book wrote by Scott M. Peck, called The Road Less Traveled. He pointed out that we can not subtract from obligations. He pointed out that we cannot subtract ourselves from the "freedom" of uncommitment. So yeah, there are rules to live that can't be disputed: 1. Having a family. 2. Being a good person. 3. The pursuit of happiness. When we substract from these rules, we wander off the path and hell breaks loose, as Jordan Peterson said.
  2. Good, I'm happy to hear I was wrong. Listen, I'm not trying to bring you down. What I see is that you are wallowing in self-pity. Toughen up and snap out of it. You are degrading yourself and bringing yourself down for no good reason. I don't want to throw clichés at you, I'm sure you get plenty of those already. A change in your point of view is what you really need. If you haven't done that already, spend some time in a third-world country, such as India, which will teach you to appreciate how lucky you are. I would feel more sympathy for you if you were a limbless beggar with leprosy being spat at every day. From what i can see, you are extremely lucky, living in a first world country with every sort of amenity at your fingertip. I'm sorry if I cannot empathise with first-world problems, but it seems to me that you are in some sort of middle-class bubble. There is nothing wrong with you per se, except for your self-pity. BTW, suicide would be the most selfish thing you could possibly do, it is just another me-me-me ego trip that is a cry for attention. I am trying to clobber you on the head with some hard home truths, because apparently you won't get that from anyone else. Your first delusion is that you imagine you exist in isolation, otherwise you wouldn't be contemplating suicide. No man is an island and it is time you start giving back. Forget about yourself, you do not matter. Your puny little ego is just a squeaky little voice in your head that tells you what not to do. That is not you. The real you is part of a greater whole and is connected to everyone and everything. Ignore the squeaky little voice and do the exact opposite of what it tells you to do. Usually, it will tell you NOT to do things. Don't ask that girl out, don't book that flight ticket, don't get out of your comfort zone, etc... Also, there are higher powers at work who will help you in subtle ways, if you let them. Ask for help. Don't be embarrassed. In your head, you are alone with your higher Self, which is infinite awareness and connects you to a greater reality. It cannot speak, but it will communicate with you through dreams, synchronicities, people it sends into your life. Quieten your ego and amplify the Self. Good luck,
  3. I know. If there was an urge to attempt suicide, then I'd stop myself and go to my doc. But just suicidal thoughts can be dealt with easily by just doing some of the things mentioned on here.
  4. The unthinkable “nuclear winter” scenario occurs when detonations of many nuclear bombs over cities create intense fireballs which loft black carbon high into the stratosphere (upper atmosphere), blocking the Sun and thus halting global plant growth thus causing mass starvation. A Pakistan - India nuclear war (or US - Russia nuclear war) would block surface sunlight 20-35% (75%), cool global surfaces 2-5C (10C), reduce precipitation 15-30% (60%), reduce Net Primary Productivity 15-30% (100%) on land; 5-15% (50%) in the oceans, and take 10-15 years to recover. India–Pakistan border skirmishes (2019) India and Pakistan have engaged in a military confrontation across the de facto border in Kashmir, a disputed region which is claimed by both countries and large parts of which are controlled by each country.[22] The heightened tensions stemmed from a suicide car bombing carried out on 14 February 2019 in which 40 Indian security personnel were killed. A Pakistan-based militant group, Jaish-e-Mohammad, claimed responsibility for the attack.[23] India blamed Pakistan for the bombing and promised a robust response.[24] India has regularly stated Pakistan was utilising militants to destabilise Indian-administered Kashmir.[25] Pakistan, however, denied any involvement in the bombing.[26] Some twelve days later, India and Pakistan conducted airstrikes against targets in each other's territory.[27] The first airstrike was conducted by India in the early morning hours of February 26 in the vicinity of the town of Balakot in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in Pakistan,[28] several miles inside the province's boundary with Pakistan-administered Kashmir.[29] Pakistan's military, the first to announce the airstrike on February 26 morning,[30] described the Indian planes as dropping their payload in an uninhabited wooded hilltop area near Balakot.[31] India, confirming the airstrike later the same day, characterised it to be a preemptive strike directed against a terrorist training camp, and causing the deaths of a "large number" of terrorists.[12][32] The second airstrike, a retaliatory one,[33] was conducted during daytime on February 27 by Pakistan in a region of Indian-administered Kashmir. A dogfight during this airstrike caused an Indian MiG-21 Bison warplane to be shot down and its pilot, Wing Commander Abhinandan Varthaman, to be taken prisoner by the Pakistan military before being returned on March 1.[34][35] Analysis of open-source satellite imagery by the Atlantic Council's Digital Forensics Laboratory,[36] San Francisco-based Planet Labs,[37] European Space Imaging,[38] and the Australian Strategic Policy Institute,[39] has concluded that India did not hit any targets of significance on the Jaba hilltop site in the vicinity of Balakot.[40][41] On April 10, 2019, some international journalists, who were taken to the Jaba hilltop in a tightly controlled trip arranged by Pakistani government, although unable to make a knowledgeable evaluation,[42][43] found the largest building of the site to show no evidence of damage or recent rebuilding.[44][45][46][43] The fighting has continued intermittently since then.
  5. So, this year I've entered my 1st year of college in computer science. Long story short, my depression which I have been ignoring for the past 4-5 years it's starting to take a toll on me and I'm considering dropping out. I'm paying no tuition since I had good results in exams and I don't find the subjects I'm studying particularly hard. The thing is, I'm so fucked up mentally that I'm thinking about suicide every day and I just can't get myself to study anything. I'm constantly distracting myself from my emotional problems to avoid facing them and I procrastinate on studying. I've got quite a few bad marks so far, and at this rate, I'll just fail all of my exams. That's what I did in high school as well, but with minimal effort I managed to finish it without many problems. Depression, stress and anxiety were eating me alive at the time but I digress. I can't afford therapy, and I even if I would, the mental health system in my country is so bad that I'll just get fed medication every day in a hospital only to numb down my emotions. I did try to meditate, but I couldn't maintain the habit going for long. Same for journaling and shadow work. Noticed positive results, but I'm just dropping and picking them up again. At this point, I just want to drop out of college and then isolate myself in a cabin somewhere in a forest where I'll just spend time thinking whatever I should continue to live or not.I no longer want to struggle to create a beautiful life for myself and improve myself. I've realized that happiness is nothing more but an ideal which I can't attain and it's futile to pursue it. My problem is that if I'll drop out of college, I'll just cause my parents to suffer greatly, especially if I'm going to open up about my emotional problems. They'll worry, get scared, become aggressive etc. I'm too tired and fearful to face such a situation. I'm also financially dependent on my parents, which is pathetic, I know, so I can't just move out and try to sort things out. To recap, I want to drop out, but that would just fuck up my parents mentally even more than they already are, and I just want to be guilty of that. I haven't felt freedom or happiness in years, and quite frankly I'm just tired of living and trying to make myself want to live. If I could, I'd just choose to fade away from reality. I should have never been born, things would have been so much better for everyone. Sorry if my thoughts were all over the place, but I've got a mild headache and feel like I want to lay on the ground and do nothing.
  6. 17 Levels of Consciousness Description of Each Level of Consciousness from the book Power vs. Force , 2002 by David Hawkins I will provide a description of each level, starting with the bottom-most level. As you read this, think about the level that you resonate most with now: 1) Shame (1-20): Someone at this level feels humiliated, has low self-esteem, and is paranoid. Common feelings by someone at this level include feeling like he/she has “lost face,” wishing that he/she is invisible and feeling worthless. Some individuals react by becoming overly rigid or neurotic perfectionists. Vibrating at this level for prolonged periods leads to elimination (of self and others), such as suicide, turning into serial killers, rapists, or moral extremists who apply self-righteous judgment onto others. A person’s life view at this state is misery. 2) Guilt (30): Feelings of blame and remorse hover in this level. These feelings are used to consciously or subconsciously manipulate conformance to certain forms of thinking and behaviors. This level is dominant in governments who are high-handed and uses heavy public punishment; in societies with a blame culture; and in religious institutions with a preoccupation with “sin” and “salvation.” This level cultivates destruction. Hawkins cites the life view as evil, though I disagree and feel that condemnation is more adept. A person at the level of guilt is not necessarily evil nor does he/she see the world as evil, but rather focuses a lot on condemning self and others. 3) Apathy (50): A state of helplessness, despair, and despondency. Someone here is needy and dependent on others for help, such as the homeless and poor. Because this level feels “heavy” and is seen as a burden, many people usually avoid those vibrating at these levels. For example, in some countries, we see how the poor and less fortunate are segmented away from mainstream society. We also frequently see situations where the aged are abandoned by their own kin because they are seen as a liability. This level is associated with abdication, which means to give up one’s power to others. The life view here is hopelessness. Advertisement 4) Grief (75): Feelings of regret, sadness, and loss are abundant here. Many people vibrate at this level in times of loss — of loved ones, relationships, possessions, jobs, and wealth. The outcome is mourning, feeling remorse, regret, and being hung up over what has happened. Someone grieving feels despondent and bleak about the world and life around him/her. The life view is tragic. Grief is a higher level than apathy because one starts feeling more energy at this level, albeit energies of sadness and loss. 5) Fear (100): The energy at this level in anxiety. Common kinds of fear at play would be the fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of uncertainty, fear of challenges, fear of aging, fear of death, fear of loss, and fear of strangers. This emotion is often played on by marketers and politicians to achieve their agendas. Fear leads to paranoia and can turn into an obsession. At this level, one views everything uncertain as fearful and thus undergoes a state of withdrawal. Thus, fear prevents personal growth from taking place. Someone at this level sees the world as frightening. 6) Desire (125): At the level of desire, the emotion of craving becomes dominant. We have people pursuing money and status as end goals for a better life, lonely singles longing to be in romantic relationships believing that it will complete themselves, marketers conditioning ‘wants’ in people via enticing advertisements and promises of happiness with the consumption of goods, and fashion industry playing on people’s desires to be more attractive and wanted, just to name a few. Addictions are outputs of desire, such as the desire for food, video games, fun, sex, shopping, and money and power. One becomes looped into enslavement at this level because desire is a never-ending emotion. The life view is disappointing, which happens when one cannot obtain what one desires. Desire is a higher level than fear because the desire for something propels someone into action rather than withdraw into a corner. 7) Anger (150): The emotion at this level is hate. Anger expresses itself as resentment, frustration, even revenge. Common manifestations of anger in our society today can be seen in people’s irritable behavior, toxic conversations on the internet, arguments between family members, and at the worst end of the spectrum, murder and war. Because anger is a highly charged feeling, someone who channels this energy constructively will move up to the next level and create positive change — such as via activism (of animal rights, human rights, environmental causes, etc.). Such uses of anger have resulted in the liberation and great movements in society. On the other hand, people who use anger destructively such as to shame, hate, and harm others, create more destruction. The process one undergoes is aggression. The life view here is antagonistic, where one is hostile, unfriendly, and acts in opposition against others. 8) Pride (175): Hawkins cite scorn as the dominant feeling of pride, though I disagree. I feel dignity is a more representative emotion for this level. Scorn comes as a result of this dignity, though it may be too subtle for people to recognize. In our current society, pride is a level that is encouraged and seen as positive — for example, the pride of being part of a group, institution, company, nation, religion, and race. Advertisement But this leads to a duality, which acts as an invisible force to separate people. For example, nations exist because people identify themselves more with a geographical location rather than a common, universal identity. Religions exist because people attach themselves to their beliefs of god and values, which separate them from the “others.” On a personal level, people develop pride based on their possessions and career achievements, and this is dangerous because such conditions can be removed at any point in time. Pride results in denial and arrogance. At pride, one undergoes inflation (of ego) rather than see things objectively. The life view here is demanding. 9) Courage (200): Affirmation is the key emotion here. This is the separation point between Power and Force, where one starts to create change by using constructive uses of power rather than destructive force. This is the first waking point when one starts to wake from his/her sleepwalker status. At the lower levels before this, the world is seen as hopeless, tragic, frightening, demanding, and antagonistic; people below 200 see themselves as victims, at the mercy of life, and subjected to the forces of the external world. At the level of courage, one sees the world as exciting and filled with possibilities. One undergoes empowerment here. This marks the start of active pursuit of growth. When one sees a gap in their knowledge and abilities, they will act to fill it. For example, learning new job skills, embarking on further education, pursuing personal growth. The life view is feasible – anything is manageable since the person is willing to take action to deal with uncomfortable situations in life. People in levels of >200 recognize that their happiness lies in their hands. 10) Neutrality (250): The emotions at this level are trust and safety. Here, people are non-judgmental, objective, and able to see things as they truly are. They are not attached to possessions, situations, results, and can roll with the punches in life. If they are not able to get something, they are equally happy settling for something else. This is NOT the same as apathy – the power of neutrality comes from a positive place, where one recognizes his/her power, ability, and worth, and does not feel the need to prove anything to anyone. On the other hand, apathy comes from feeling forsaken, resulting in nonchalance and jadedness toward the external world. The process is one of release (of everything). The life view is satisfactory, where anything goes. These people are easy to get along; however, they are difficult to engage toward causes and visions because they are detached toward everything. 11) Willingness (310): Optimism runs high here. At Willingness, the individual is open to doing anything and everything – he/she is not bounded by others’ judgments or limitations. For example, he/she is willing to take on menial jobs if he/she cannot get jobs elsewhere. The difference between Willingness and the levels below it is that at Willingness, one is passionate about doing things well rather than just doing things. Someone at Willingness can readily bounce back from setbacks, is easily moldable, and is genuinely open to everyone. Success follows them easily. The process one undergoes here is of intention (to do anything). The life view is hopefulness. At this level you have people who perform extremely well in their careers in corporations, startups; however as they develop great skills, the question comes to whether they are investing their energy in the best way. 12) Acceptance (350): In my opinion, this marks the second waking point for an individual, where he/she is fully awake from his/her sleepwalker status. Here, one realizes that he/she is THE creator and source of his/her life, as opposed to having relegated part of his/her power to someone else or a different entity. He/she (1) is aware of the social constructs present in one’s life, whether family, society, nation, religion, or work, (2) is able to discern against (limiting) beliefs, viewpoints, and social conditioning, and (3) can consciously craft his/her life above and beyond these social constructs. The behavior at this level is acceptance vs. rejection, seeking for resolution vs. judging whether something is right or wrong, having a long-term vs. short-term view, engaging in life harmoniously based on its terms vs. resisting it, and striving for excellence and growth. Forgiveness is the dominant emotion. The process one undergoes is transcendence (above what one faces in life). The life view here is harmonious. 13) Reason (400): The emotion is understanding and rationality. One seeks out huge amounts of information and analyzes them to infinitesimal detail before reaching a conclusion. This is where the noble prize winners, leaders of science and medicine, and great thinkers of history are at. However, someone at the level of Reason falls into the trap of over-intellectualization in concepts and theories. When theories clash and each argument is sound on its own, we reach a blockade, leading to the inability to resolve discrepancies. This leads to the process of abstraction or preoccupation with data. The life view is meaningful. 14) Love (500): This represents unconditional love – love that is pure, unfaltering, unwavering, not subjected to any external condition. It is not the same love commonly portrayed in mass media, which is rooted in lust, desire, pride, control, addiction, attraction, jealousy, and possessiveness. While the media often establish love and hate as opposites, hate is actually rooted in pride (desire for control/possessiveness), not actual love. Reverence is the main emotion in this level of (unconditional) love. At this level, duality becomes an illusion; the feeling is one of entirety that rises above separation. Unconditional love is inclusive of everyone and expands beyond self. While reason deals with data, love deals with entirety, thus giving rise to the capacity for instantaneous understanding. This aspect is often linked with intuition. The process one undergoes is revelation. The life view is benign: there is no separation, fear or negativity. According to Hawkin, only 0.4% of the population (1 in every 250 people) ever reaches this level. 15) Joy (540): The dominant emotion is serenity and compassion. This is the inner joy that arises from every moment of existence rather than from an external source. This is the level where saints, advanced spiritual students and healers dwell. At this level, one is characterized by enormous patience and an unwavering positive attitude in the face of harsh adversities. The world is seen as one of perfection and beauty. Individuals are motivated to dedicate themselves to the benefit of life rather than for specific individuals. Here, transfiguration occurs, where there is an inner serenity and emanating of radiance and compassion for others. The life view is completeness (of the world). Near-death experiences have the effect of temporarily bumping people into this level. 16) Peace (600): The emotion is bliss. At this level, there is no longer any distinction between the observer and the subject. People here become spiritual teachers and great geniuses in their field to effect great contribution to mankind; they transcend formal religious structures and replace it with pure spirituality which is where religions originate. Perception becomes one of slow motion, suspended in time and space. Everything is perceived as interconnected by an infinite presence. The process one undergoes is illumination. The life view is perfect. Hawkins claims that this level is only attained by 1 out of 10 million people. 17) Enlightenment (700-1000): The emotion is ineffable, in other words – inexpressible. This is the pinnacle of the evolution of consciousness by mankind. The greatest people in history have attained this level, such as Krishna, Buddha, and Jesus. Here, the body becomes recognized as a tool to project consciousness. One’s existence becomes all-encompassing and transcends time and space. The process is described as pure consciousness. The life view here is simply ‘Is‘. As we achieve our highest potential and live our best life, we should strive for the highest possible level of enlightenment.
  7. I will probably get banned or receive more warning points for this and if so, that will be a perfect example of spiritual hypocrisy. For a few years now I have followed Leo's teachings. Since his channel took a dark turn into solipsism and utter madness, I've watched people go batshit crazy and descend into some of the worst cases of depression imaginable. @Paul92 actually tried to kill himself and there are almost certainly other cases. I hope you're still with us, Paul. I'm sure that as I write this there are many more poor sods out there thinking that their loved ones don't exist and they're all alone. If you're one of those people, please hang in there because I'm here for you and have experienced the sheer terror of what you are going through. I have to praise Leo for his "extraordinary human mind" as he puts it himself. Had Leo stuck with engineering, his contributions to the field would have been utterly groundbreaking to say the least. Alternatively, If he had kept Actualized.org as a personal development as opposed to the personal destruction platform which it has now become, he could have hugely enriched the lives of billions of people given the time. Well tragically, he will not be the driving force behind any of those great things. More and more people are beginning to see through his sickening brainwashing and mind games. Zzenn from Unspirituality, a few other people and myself will work to expose leo, reducing the amount of lives he ruins. When Leo gets exposed properly, he will be forced into the shadows where he now belongs. Leo's brainwashing would probably not work and the things he says would be instantly dismissed as psychopathic ramblings if it weren't for the very strong following and foundation of credibility he has built for himself over the years while he was creating genuinely helpful content. He was, in my opinion, unmatched. He was the go to source for getting your shit together. His brainwashing and gaslighting techniques are subtle, intelligently crafted and extremely effective. Every person has this feeling within them at times that there's maybe more to life or that it contains some deeper mystery. Leo skilfully exploits that aspect of you by making statements like: "Deep down you know this." or "You're too afraid to accept it" And I'm detecting an undertone of desperation here: "It's the absolute truth." With that statement, he is now on the level of a bible bashing Christian from Texas. He presents in a very arrogant, yet charming and authoritative manner which makes what is being taught all the more convincing to both your conscious and subconscious. He drums his toxic ideologies in deeper by using his killer phrase "You can verify this in your direct experience" This is after he has told you over the course of two plus hours what HE wants you to verify during your psychedelic trip! HE is the one who takes the DMT and in his trip concludes that I, am god! The utter absurdity of it is immensely hilarious yet tragic. I saved his most powerful and dangerous phrase for last: "Don't believe me" You will believe him though and he knows it. It's exactly what he wants. The statement is used to make Leo come across as totally genuine. My ultimate test of Leo's teachings Test 1 Leo. I am alone. I created and am imagining you. You have no experience of reality of your own because, you are just an illusion I'm imagining. In that case you will not mind at all sending me say £500 every month? As you don't exist and are a man who promotes infinite love and selflessness, you can not possibly have any issues with this relatively small request whatsoever. After all, you are now fleecing the gullible via Patreon to the tune of $4,225 per month on top of what you were earning previously. (The cash will be used to develop affordable battery management systems and inverter technology for electric vehicle projects). Test 2 I am god, there is no other than myself. Delete all your videos containing this teaching and tell the world that Shaun is god. If your teachings are really true, you will have no issues with that one either. Of course, you can't do that. You can not possibly say that Shaun is god as you know that will not work. You know you're presenting to millions of people therefore you use "you" so that you can delude every individual person into your sick doctrine of solipsism. I can see straight through you, Leo. You fooled me in the past, almost to the point of suicide. You will fool me no longer. Be proud to be human. Be proud to Exist. There's much beauty to be found in that.
  8. You're better off getting dating advice from a woman. I went through a lot of these things in my many relationships. I was even called a murderer and that I might murder my partner in the future was my ex's hypothesis. So at that point I decided to leave because I had enough of his hypothetical future victim status. Now think about that. He had already dreamed up a future victim scenario for me. He even to the point of saying that if I married him, he would commit suicide the very next day and the whole world would find out how terrible I am, at which point I said that he could be free of being a victim of my cruelty if he chose to by dumping me. I asked his permission to break the relationship for the sake of his so called future safety. In which case he had no argument and he fell silent.. This was my second ex. Then he went to say that I might kill his parents out of hate. All of this over a very petty argument that I started because I fell asleep and forgot to reply to his texts. I finally had enough of his victim status under my perceived reign of terror and dumped him for good. The gaslighting felt like torture. If I didn't do what he said, I wasn't loving him the right way. If I did what he said, I was only doing it for some gain or perceived reason or out of fakery to please him. I just could not win. Any which way, I was bad and he was the good guy. The worst part of this perceived victim mentality is when they not only declare that they have suffered so much and how they have been wronged but also how great and honorable they are to put with this victim status because they are saintly, they are sacrificing their life and that they have to put with terrible partners out of love. Like when he would say that he "nobody will put with you, only me, poor me, I'm putting up with you because I love you and I am a great soul, look what I have to put up with" It's an endless cycle of frustration and torture and gaslighting and you get drained and miserable for being the cause of their victimhood. The other thing I noticed is the unwillingness to change the situation since the victimhood needs to be continued. So if I told him that maybe I can resolve the conflict if we sat together then he suddenly disappeared not wanting to resolve the situation, because how else can he continue blaming me in the future. So no resolution.
  9. I went through a lot of these things in my many relationships. I was even called a murderer and that I might murder my partner in the future was my ex's hypothesis. So at that point I decided to leave because I had enough of his hypothetical future victim status. Now think about that. He had already dreamed up a future victim scenario for me. He even to the point of saying that if I married him, he would commit suicide the very next day and the whole world would find out how terrible I am, at which point I said that he could be free of being a victim of my cruelty if he chose to by dumping me. I asked his permission to break the relationship for the sake of his so called future safety. In which case he had no argument and he fell silent.. This was my second ex. Then he went to say that I might kill his parents out of hate. All of this over a very petty argument that he started because I fell asleep and forgot to reply to his texts. I finally had enough of his victim status under my perceived reign of terror and dumped him for good. The gaslighting felt like torture. If I didn't do what he said, I wasn't loving him the right way. If I did what he said, I was only doing it for some gain or perceived reason or out of fakery to please him. I just could not win. Any which way, I was bad and he was the good guy. The worst part of this perceived victim mentality is when they not only declare that they have suffered so much and how they have been wronged but also how great and honorable they are to put with this victim status because they are saintly, they are sacrificing their life and that they have to put with terrible partners out of love. Like when he would say that he "nobody will put with you, only me, poor me, I'm putting up with you because I love you and I am a great soul, look what I have to put up with" It's an endless cycle of frustration and torture and gaslighting and you get drained and miserable for being the cause of their victimhood. The other thing I noticed is the unwillingness to change the situation since the victimhood needs to be continued. So if I told him that maybe I can resolve the conflict if we sat together then he suddenly disappeared not wanting to resolve the situation, because how else can he continue blaming me in the future. So no resolution.
  10. I want to hear some opinions on this matter. Over the last 2 years Overall my view on feminism has changed from being quite opposed to the movement to overall support it. However I still find myself some times feeling "injustice" or "threatened" to certain stuff. I want to know if this could still be part of my bias but I sometimes I just think some things are really not fair. I´ll give an example. I just saw an ad asking me to firm a digital petition to the government of my country. (similar to Change.org). There were a lot of "bullet-points" about feminism that the ad was advertising to firm and let know to the government. But there was one that got my interest. That one was simply "end the violence towards women" Why as a man I should feel fair that i am regularly asked to sign petitions like "end the violence towards women" which in other words is just "put effort and resources/money to investigate why and how women are more victims in x situations and how we can remedy that" (which of course i dont think its a bad thing!) but i never get asked to sign "end the violence towards men". I really don´t get it how that is fair. For example as a man I have more probabililty of being murdered or receive any kind of violence (except rape), surely a lot of money and investigation could look into why this happens and how reduce this statistics too. There´s also other scenarios where man are specially the victims apart from the usual violence : homelessness, jails, Labor Risks, Suicide. Why is fair there is almost no money and interest research in how to reduce this statistics and what man can be getting unfair to end in jails or get suicided more than women? From mainstream media In this case is indeed fair to attribute it to genetics and biology. To women problem is always because society. Of course with that dialectis is rational to try to fix everything unfair about women position in society, and ridiculous to fix it with men. And please don´t reply the Leo stuff "you are the one who is biased because blabla your survival because it turns out your a male". Yes but the same goes for women they also looking for their survival. Everybody is looking for their comfortabilty and survival. From that perspective women are also wrong for trying to fight for better salaries or positions because they are just looking "for their survival". That argument in this case i can´t see how it would make sense.
  11. Firstly, I don't make a big deal about it. I'm just pointing out hidden consequences which you may not have considered to this action. Consciousness is more complex than just mind/body. There seem to be structures which persist between lifetimes. Suicide could affect those structures. In the ultimate sense, everything leads back to total oneness, so there is no problem. But it seems to take consciousness many incarnations to get there. I'm not saying suicide will damn you forever to hell. I'm saying it could be temporary set-back, slowing the overall process. There is nothing wrong with slowing the process, per se. It's all relative. By definition everything that happens is "God's plan". But not in the simplistic sense of everything being predetermined. God's plan is a meta plan which includes your human plans. You have the freedom to make your human plans. No choice is right or wrong. Any choice you make is fine from God's POV. God has no desire to manipulate you and no particular desired outcome. It's imaginary in the same way a brick wall is imaginary. The notion of "imaginary" is much more robust than most people think. It encompasses all of "physical reality". So just saying that something is imaginary doesn't automatically set you free of it. Nope. Humans clearly affect nature with our actions. Even if you decide to take no action, that will have an affect on nature. It is impossible to not take action. Even inaction is a kind of action.
  12. I do not want this thread to become a thread about how to commit suicide. I think it has run it's course.
  13. @Leo Gura Is it true to say that if many have committed suicide, it was indeed god's plan? How can anything go against god's will? If he gave us free choice, why should any choice be wrong? If death is imaginary, is suicide also imaginary? Isn't it arrogant to assume that that we can affect the way of nature with our actions?
  14. This does not accurately describe why most people commit suicide.
  15. Leo, however people suicide not always because they hate themselves and cannot finish a human life. People also commit suicide because they feel a lot of pain in very long periods of time and the future just holds more of the pain and even bigger. What then has this person to look forward to? Like for example if someone has some degenerative disease which turns his/her body into a 24/7 torture chamber and there is no cure so they can only look forward to more of the pain and worse. What can I say to them to their face if they ask me "But there is no death, I'll be just reborn so why can't I put to stop to this, living in constant pain is also not good for the well being of my mind/psyche" What do I say to them? That they just "just live with it?" Of course, I have the luxury of saying it while my body is not in the same mess as theirs. But if I put myself into their shoes, wouldn't it make sense for them to euthanize their current body?
  16. Karma is much more than fear mongering. This topic is too complex and advanced to discuss on a forum. You'd need decades of advanced spiritual practice to begin to understand such things and I'm nowhere near understanding all that. If you violently disrupt consciousness (via suicide), it's not unreasonable to expect a ripple effect which cascades from such an event, disrupting the evolution of consciousness. Don't think of it as a punishment, think of it as a natural consequence of self-rejection and self-hatred. How can consciousness continue its evolution if it hates itself so much it cannot even finish out one human life?
  17. Don't assume things can't get better. No matter how fucked you are, there is ALWAYS a pathway forward. Trust me, I've been to hell. Maybe there is a reason you are going through shit, maybe you have accumilated a lot of dead wood that needs to be burned off. Cleansing fire is rarely a nice thing, but it is in many ways necessary. Sometimes, however, we have accumilated so much dead wood, that that fire just completely shuts us down for a time. You feel completely hopeless and you just want it to end. And if you give into that impulse, you might commit suicide. What do you have to loose giving it one more try? and then one more? Maybe in one year your life would take a 180 and you would live the rest of it in heaven. You don't know that. Killing yourself ends that possibility. It robs the world of what you could have been, of what you could have provided. It's clearly morally wrong. Everyone wants to live, the only reason someone wants to kill himself is to end the pain. He still would like a good life, but he feels like the pain is unbearable and neverending, which it isnt. So killing yourself ALWAYS goes against your own wishes. Its like throwing your game against a wall and breaking it. So, thats just my two cents.
  18. It happens all the time. Tens of thousands of times per year. But don't assume the "respawn" is free and clear. There is very likely an enormous karmic debt that comes with suicide. So avoid it if you can.
  19. Hello, I really need to get some answers to this question, because I contemplate a lot and still not sure what the answer is. Question: If as we see the earth is a giant multiplayer-open-world-game, there WILL be people who would be dealt with bad cards in life and live in total misery. My question is if there is no death why cant these people who are trapped in very-hellish/painful lives, why can't they just commit suicide and be reborn as someone else? What does a person who`s life is total misery have to lose? Why not just start-over? I know suicide is a "taboo" topic, but I can see that this question is relevant for a good amount of people on earth. So please dont take this question as some sort of "trolling", I'm genuinely interested in an answer as to why this cannot be used as a "respawn" as we see in video-games?
  20. We can't claim it's healthier because there's so little data on microdosing. Caffeine has been field tested for thousands of years, by billions of people, and studied extensively in science. It's been shown that consuming caffeine drinks is health-promoting on the whole (reduced rates of: cardiovascular disease, suicide + depression, diabetes, colorectal cancers, prostate cancer .. etc), and this agrees with the folk-acceptance of caffeine drinks as non-dangerous. On the other hand, microdosing is bleeding-edge. It's basically brand new to humanity in terms of field use, and it's barely been studied in science at all. We know a decent amount about the health effects of acute use of psychedelics now, and they turn out to be very safe when used sporadically, but we know almost nothing about chronic use (microdosing). David Nichols (the preeminent psychedelic pharmacologist) and others have raised concerns that because psychedelics like LSD activate the 5HT-2B receptor, that chronic use could lead to cardiac valvulopathy, like we saw with other 5HT2-B agonizing drugs like Fen-Phen. https://heffter.org/microdosing-lsd-research-potential/ Personally, I think this is a very real risk. Until we have evidence that microdosing flies under the levels of 5HT-2B activation that trigger valvulopathy, I'm not going to take the risk. I really hope that it turns out to be a non-issue, because I love microdosing. But until then, I'm keeping microdoses occasional (max 1x/week), saving up my 5HT-2B activation for full fledged trips, and sticking to tried-and-true caffeine for my day-to-day tweak. I might repost this in its own thread, because this risk isn't being talked about enough in all the excitement surrounding microdosing at the moment. I totally respect people's decision to microdose despite the risk, because you have to weigh risks vs. benefit, but it's something people should know about.
  21. I feel you I generally have an depressive ideation and have one today when failing at an important task and succumbing to Internet pornography in order to numb the pain that I now felt today and over the past month or so at a slow path of suicide that my mother took because of still anti societal habits of getting up late, being stuck in my head and not helping family members around and a deep cynicism and judgement to the way my culture works stage blue nationalism and even slightly at some parts red criminal/tribal solidarity mostly is pressuring me since I am not fulfilling my life purpose of a sociologist that I intuitively feel and feel happy about when visualising myself in it to become one of them eventually or to isolate myself and slowly rot away homeless because of not adapting to their stage survival struggle. These depressive ideations are so strong at times that its hard for me to have the will to communicate to anybody or feel for and be sympathetic my family members shared pain for me at times and I strongly feel that I if continue down this path of not being physical skilled and yet having to work a laborious job and failing to finish academy and being stuck that suicide would be the only way out of the suffering and would follow down the path of my mother of isolating myself, abandoning the family and killing myself eventually when the mental pain of my life position intensifies too much. I feel to that if I am not conscious, loving and strong enough I will follow my mothers genetically predisposed upbringing and patterns of behaviour and selfish personality traits in to killing myself by jumping off a building eventually. I feel and think this heavily when I look at my current life's direction so I can't come to grips when contemplating that this is just my belief.
  22. Over the years I've repeatedly experienced 'being in the desert of darkness and meaninglessness" and it's an awful feeling. Having that thousand yard stare,,,,,, At times I've been bolstered by a macabre saying of Gurdjieffs that he meant as dark humor and who himself admitted he contemplated suicide at a few certain times. He said - "Hell, its only terrible first few days. I never know if the antidote will be gritting my teeth and hanging tough or throwing my hands up and saying, "fuck it". If you know what I mean. You're not alone. Look at these thoughtful responses from others here and take heart. Find the path back to loving yourself and having a feeling of innocence and wishing well for others. A good cry or perhaps radically throwing yourself into a strenuous physical activity have been turning points for me in these periodic states of psychic entropy. Bless you and may light shine on you soon. As @Nahm said, I too wish you well.
  23. Bit of a radical idea perhaps. But I was sitting here thinking, if I truly am willing to die to find out the Truth, why not actually kill yourself? Seems like that would be the most counter-intuitive move of all. Seems like that would pull back the curtain in one fall swoop. ps. Don’t worry, not on the brink of suicide.
  24. Borderline primary.. Genuine Borderlines Is where basic Borderline symptoms and some added symptoms are displayed. Examples Intense emotions Intense reactions Rage Suicidal tendencies Unstable emotions Unstable reactions Borderline secondary The tendency to show primary symptoms along with extreme creepy behaviors and extreme needs and control behavior and hidden rage and manipulative tendencies. Are not genuine. Faking a lot of symptoms for sympathy, validation, acceptance, attention. Pathological lying Lot of cover up Reserved High privacy needs Not welcoming Anti-social traits Lacking empathy Manipulative Blackmail and trap back Self blame and self deprecation which is fake Ulterior motives Copying socially programmed behaviors and emulating them when needed Suicide threats Control freaks.. Control every move Stalking, spying, Fear of rejection They can't let go Extreme insecurity Aggressive rage Hidden rage Need to dictate and dominate Creepy dismissive and detached vibes Lack of openness or graciousness Immaturity Disregard of another's suffering and substituting and magnifying their little problems in the middle of someone else's suffering. Feeling intense self pity but no pity for others. Need to be center of attention Victim mentality Isolation of the partner and friendly behavior with the family Perverted sexual behavior Need to constantly blame and chastise and condemn Guilt trip and gaslight Make you feel like you have always deprived them Harassment and heckling Long emails or conversations which are wishy washy and vague. They are difficult to argue with because they never get straight to the point. Beating around the bush They always mean opposite of what they say. They are generally despondent and sadistic They invent lies Creating past and future scenarios to fit their narratives and to gaslight Plotting and scheming to act like a victim later or to make you look bad. bpd or borderline disorder is slightly different and it involves using victimhood and using extreme strategies to keep the person in control aka Jodi arias.. My ex was like that.. They usually use suicide to hold you back in the relationship. They have to paint the picture that they can't live without you and that they will extremely damaged if you left them, thus either blackmailing you or playing to get your sympathy. They feel no empathy for the other person's pain or problems and only see themselves as the only one who is getting impacted in every way. They are not necessarily narcissistic but they differ from narcissists in a way that they believe that everything is only about them. They completely disregard the other person's needs or problems or psychological effects and see everything from their own angle Even if they are made to notice how the other person is also suffering either because of them or others, they show a cursory or fake response of concern or seriousness, it's like they are incapable of understanding the seriousness of a situation at all, they act teenagey and lack maturity and understanding and gravity of a situation. They only feel bad when their emotions are getting hurt but fail to acknowledge that the sufferings of the other person are actually bigger than their hurt feelings.. They easily get butt hurt and resort to extreme behaviors to make themselves look good but deep down they are seething with jealousy and insecurity and the need to be constantly given attention and importance in the relationship. They are usually sadistic and don't smile when others are smiling or rejoicing and they are always the victim even when nothing offensive happened. They have to be center of the attention and they feel good only when they are given constant attention.. They try to self deprecate themselves in an effort to win praise or sympathy from people around them.. They cannot take being abandoned and such an action causes them to be aggressive
  25. There is medical proof he did not suicide, yet you will still probably manage to deny this...