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That's a really important warning, that should probably also include the numbers for some resources including suicide prevention hotlines, in my opinion. Therapy isn't just for people who are in a really bad place, it should be for anyone who is suffering at all. People have misunderstood ideas and prejudices about therapy just like they do psychedelics or drugs in general. The consciousness and intentions of the user and the quality of the tool come together to determine the results.

I don't know where to start. I've been watching Leo's video for 4-5 years now and as you all know during the past 2 years or so he went deeper and deeper into the "truth". During the last two weeks, I've been living a nightmare. I went to the emergency 3x because I had thoughts of "I'm going to die".. as if the personality was going to die. I'm shaking in fear, I can't eat, I can't sleep. I've been meditating for 2 years now, but it seems I've watched too many videos where people saying "it's an illusion, nothing is real, you are god, death is an illusion, etc". I'm pretty sure my mind is now creating a fake enlightenment. I feel like nothing is real, I'm not real, why not dying now. Even though, I'm still afraid of many things, I still have desires. I never wanted to know the truth, I just wanted to be happy. I tried contacting a Buddhist school close to where I am, but they told me to see a psychiatrist. But what am I going to say to the guy.. "hey by the way you are not real". I'm slowly running out of options I feel. Anyone could help me?

Against the wishes of her parents, my mother chose to enter convent school at the age of 14 with the vocation of becoming a Catholic nun. At 21 she left, finding it too difficult. Three years later she had the mischance to cross paths with my father, a psychiatric case as well as being alcholic and violent. His parents on several occasions called the mental asylum to have him taken away in a straight jacket to have electric shock treatment in his 20s. Over the years, he's been diagnosed variably as schizophrenic, psychotic, psychopath,... My mother told me she was afraid of him and thought it was the "will of God" to look after him as her life's mission. She confided in me that he'd blackmailed her into marrying him by threatening her with certain things (eg. breaking all the neighbours' windows, telling her parents she'd slept with him ("untrue"), etc. As a child, I never had a day's peace in my family. I saw my dad physically assault, threaten and mistreat my mother, this mother I loved with such a powerful intense love. I would have died for her, I loved her that much. An example of such a scene would be my father holding a large chip pan of boiling hot oil over my mother's head threatening to throw it over her. The feeling of impotence was unbearable and very traumatic for me. As a child, I was enormously attached to my mother, I had a huge love for her. I felt an intense need to look after her, protect her from harm and keep her safe. When I evoke this love, I cannot help crying. For me, she was the epitome of everything that was pure, good, kind, generous, etc, she was like a God to me. I couldn't understand how ANYONE could ever want to hurt her! The name she gave me was the same name as her best friend in the convent, from the beginning we were so close. My dad hated me and my brother because we were close to her. I did everything in my power as a kid to lessen my mother's burden and bring her joy, I was the good kid, the perfect child, that did well at school, I spoke before my time, read before my time, walked before my time, I did everything I could to please her and make her happy. I felt her pain so deeply. If she suffered, I suffered. I remember often finding her crying in her corner because she didn't know what to do, my heart breaking each time. I could try my best to console and comfort her. Putting my arms around her, I would promise her "I'd look after her when I was bigger", that she "could come and live with me and my family". So, very early on, I adopted the role of "saviour", "perfect child". The love I had for her was so strong I can't even describe it. I was obviously developing an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with her. I can't remember how old I started doing this, but at some point, as far as I can recall and certainly as soon as I was able to, I started putting myself in between my parents, pulling my father off her, when he was physically attacking her in order to protect her as best I could. And as soon as I intervened between them, the violence seemed to stop and the threats dissipate, if my memory serves me well, (at least for that night!). My 4 sisters and brother stopped crying, sobbing and screaming and my mother stopped hysterically yelling "call the police" and everyone went to bed for that night. Sometimes the police came, but my mother was too scared of my father to be able to talk to them. "No, no, I'm fine. Everything's okay". There was a social worker at the time, but she was too frightened of my father, and so nothing was done for our family. The days following these violent scenes, my mother always reproached me for having intervened between her and my father (which annoyed me to hear!) because she was "afraid of me getting hurt". I replied it was nothing, but she insisted I stop intervening between them. I obviously didn't obey, I wanted to protect her so much. As long as my father was attacking her, I'd be there to try and stop it. She didn't understand that for me the pain of passively watching the horror scenes unfold without doing anything was a thousand times worse than anything my father could do to me, and strangely enough, I wasn't afraid of him, even though he hated me. In any case, I loved my mother so much I would have sacrificed my life for her. And if my memories serve me well, I recall the violence stopping with my interventions, for those nights anyway, almost as though my father was relieved that there was somebody actually stepping in to stop it. My father didn't work. He spent his days in bed, tyrannising the household, we walked on eggshells. We'd take him up his meals and he'd throw them on the wall, having seen a hair (imaginary or not) on the plate. He'd get up at the end of the day to go to the pub. My mother had six children. She would probably have had tons more if the local priest (fortunately!) hadn't intervened and threatened to stop speaking to her unless she took some serious contraception. My mother has gone to mass almost every day since leaving the convent, even at 6 o'clock in the morning before starting work. The priest insisted that my mother took the pill. Without the intervention of the priest, I dread to think how many children she would have had ... 15 in 15 years ? 20 in 20 years ? The horror at home continued until the divorce of my parents (I was about 13 years old and hearing that news was one of the happiest days of my life). My mother finally accepted to divorce my father because the Catholic nuns at school threatened her (fortunately!!) with removing her 6 children unless she got a divorce. My eldest sister (fortunately!!) had been crying a bit at school, the nuns seemed privy to what was going on at home. After the divorce, for the next few years of my adolescence there were highs and lows between my mother and I. I felt she was trying to control me and I began being repulsed by certain caracter and personality traits she had that started alienating me from her (her agressiveness (even violence towards me a few times), her way of gossipping and speaking negatively about others (including her own daughters), her hypocrisy, stubborness, insensitivity, irresponsibility, resentfulness, etc. I began losing my illusions about her, idealising and trusting her less. Finding my family toxic and the relationships dysfunctional. (I always found my sisters and brother very selfish), I was finding it more and more depressing being around them. There was never a day of peace in the household, even with my father gone. There were always fights and arguments between my sisters, my brother would hit his 2 younger sisters. My disturbed brother was violent, threatening and unstable, and was taking drugs. He often used to go into the bathroom with his 2 dogs for sexual activities for long stretches at a time, the horrific noises really traumatised me (especially as I love animals so much). One of the things that depress me most in this world is the cruelty towards defenceless animals. I was too terrified of my brother to risk spying through the key hole, he was an angry, pyschopathic individual. (He had already kicked me hard from behind, badly hurting my private parts, picked up and threw his alsation on top of me and put a huge rifle to my head for absolutely nothing, I had been studying for my A'levels quietly on my bed). From the dogs' yelps and prolonged thudding noises against the bath, he seemed to be "getting off" by forcing the male alsatian to copulate with the (much, much smaller) little Jack Russel female. I stayed well clear of this nutcase of a brother, choosing exclusively to humour him in order to remain unharmed by him, but I checked the dogs discretely after their "bathroom episodes" to confirm my worst suspicions and invariably noticed the little female had blood around her vagina. Afraid of him and his anger, violence and moods, I was too terrified to go to the police to report these incidents with the dogs, and when I spoke about it to my mother she didn't reply as though I hadn't spoken. I think she was too afraid of him too. These incidents have remained traumatic memories in my life. I left the family home in Edinburgh at 18 years old to go and pursue my college education in another town far away, and after graduating at 22, decided to leave the country altogether and go and live and work abroad in Europe. Six years later I met my lovely husband. I'm 53 years old now, we've been together for 24 years, still as much in love and happy together, we have an enormous respect for each other and love each other deeply. I feel blessed having him in my life. During my adult years, I often visited my mother but I realised there was less and less of a real relationship between us. Each visit gave me fewer reasons to trust her. I don't think she was making much effort with me now, perhaps because I'd moved so far away, she was probably disappointed with me. A few times, I'd eavesdrop accidently on her telephone conversations with my eldest sister, she'd be running me down, even lying and exaggerating things. I was her guest for the weekend, and yet here she was badmouthing me off to my sibling. I couldn't believe my ears, I never said anything to her, just vowed silently to myself to visit her less and less. I remember thinking (positively) at the time that her doing that would just facilitate me cutting the umbilical cord with her (co-dependent relationship). This treachery of hers was the proof I needed to help me cut myself free from her with less guilt. When my sister didn't want anything to do with me, at least now I understood why! I actually asked her one day why I hadn't been invited to her wedding, she replied "because mammy said you did this, or did that", as if my mother had been taking a perverse pleasure in coquering and dividing us. Over the decades, I've also found my sisters' lives more and more depressing, with their husbands invariably alcoholic, unstable, unfaithful, disloyal, unreliable, violent. ****************************************************** My brother has spent most of his life in and out of prison and addicted to heroin. At one time, when he was in prison my mother moved house which relieved me enormously because it meant my brother wouldn't know of her whereabouts and therefore couldn't bother her any more for money for his heroin. That was the first time she was really free of him. It lasted about 5 or 6 years. One day in 2009, the Probation Officer rang my mother to say that he was leaving prison but had nowhere to go. So my mother accepted him moving in with her. She said the officer knew how to pull on her heart strings. If she refused, her son would be in the streets. She had an anonymous adress that my brother didn't know about, safe from him for the first time in her life, and here he was now moving in with her. I think the shock was too much for her. A few days after he'd moved in, my mother had a massive stroke (she nearly died) which put her in hospital for the next 6 months. She lost everything, she was like a vegetable, she could no longer move, speak, focus, understand, etc The nurse told me the stress of my brother moving in probably triggered the stroke. As an aftermath she is now handicapped, only the left side of her body functions. She can no longer do so many things she loved to do, driving, knitting, etc, let alone the more basic day to day tasks. When she was in hospital, pressure was put on my brother to vacate her premises. Sooner or later, he found himself back in prison. The next decade of his life continues along the same theme, in and out of prison and heroin. In January 2018, leaving prison, my brother asked a pal to do the same thing as the Probation Officer had done in the past, namely call my mother and pull on her heartstrings, lamenting the fact that my brother had no bed to go to. My mother fell for it and acquiesced and before we know it, he's back living with her. Since then he's taking her for everything she's got in order to get his heroin. My mother's now 80, 10 years older than the last time, and is too tired to resist. Judging from her symptoms, I also believe she has Frontotemporal dementia, but nobody is interested in getting her a diagnosis. She's lost the battle with my brother, and is being exploited and abused by him, all the while turning a blind eye, at the cost of falling out with most of her daughters for months on end. I wonder if perversely she is happy he is there to "look after her until she dies", that she won't be alone for the remaining years left to her. She is probably also feeling guilty that it's her "fault he's on drugs, she didn't protect him enough as a kid". He lies to her all the time, says he needs 30 pounds for something, she believes him each time, gives him her credit card, he takes 300 pounds out of the cash machine, then waits till midnight to take another 300 out. He probably tells he "he'll look after her, do her meals, etc". He steals her cheques and her possessions, pawning stuff like her precious tv (invalid that's all she's got in her life), he doesn't give a damn about her. He goes off in taxis just to go to the cash machine or to his dealer. In the space of a few months, he'd already spent 1,700 pounds from her account, probably giving heroin to his mates too, judging by the amount he's spending. He shoots up any old place in her bungalow, even blocking my mother's access to her fridge during the heatwave, so my sister had to nip out and get my mother a cold drink from the local shop. My mother's incontinent and her house now smells badly of urine, I don't think she always has access to her bathroom, my brother being comatose behind the door. He plays music really loud at 3 o'clock in the morning, he invites his criminal friends around. I worry enormously about the health and safety of my mother. She is totally isolated, nobody in the family visits her any more, they're all too afraid of him. He's very threatening and intimidating, my nieces have seen him "out of it" with strange grimaces and they're too freaked out to go back to see my mum. He's completely isolated my mother, he hides her phone, and hangs up when anyone calls her. As well as Class A drugs, he's also smoking and drinking, my mother doesn't have insurance on her house. What if there's a fire? The insurance companies refuse to insure my mother's house because there's a known felon registered at her address. All that is horrific to me, I live far away and feel so impotent to do anything. It's the last thing I would have wished for my mother in the last years of her life. I've said little to my sisters but I'm shocked and disappointed with them. I honestly think they could have done a lot more for my mother and feel they've just abandoned her. They live really close by and yet have not really bothered with her. Since her stroke, she is handicapped, she has lost all her abilities on her right-hand side, she moves around with enormous difficulty, in a wheel chair and has a load of other problems due to her obesity. I really think my sisters are selfish not according her any of their time. They hardly visit her, or bring her meals as they should. This is a mother who would have given her last penny to help someone less fortunate than herself. At one point, I was even offering one of my sisters material objects and books in exchange for her cooking for my mother, negotiating all this at a distance, from another country. I sincerely believe that the reason my brother was able to enter into the situation so easily was because there was a void created for him, a vacuum to step into, because my mother didn't really have anyone else properly looking after her. He quickly sussed that he just need to adopt the role of "carer" and she'd be putty in his hands. The irony is that he can't even take care of himself, let alone his mother. He's even filled in papers to send off to the powers that be, registering himself as her official primary caretaker so that he can get paid by the state for "looking after her". Last September (2018), seeing as my sisters weren't doing anything for my mother, I decided to do my best to help. First at at distance. I contacted EVERYBODY for help : probation, associations against exploitation of elderly people, social services, the police, the doctor, her church, everyone, I don't do things by half, I telephoned left, right and centre, I wrote pages after pages detailing everything, and sending my reports by email to all concerned, but nobody could help or intervene as long as my mother kept telling them that "everything was fine". She insisted that she was alright (just like she did in the past with my father), and that her son was "a good boy" and not doing anything wrong, that he was "looking after her", but in reality she was turning a blind eye to everything he was doing and to the state of her (diminishing) bank account, etc., she was in total denial. At one point I even suspected my brother of drugging my mother too (her head seemed so much in the sand and she seemed quite strange on the phone) but it couldn't be proven. I seriously think now that she has just decided to help him financially in her last remaining years, perhaps by guilt, or maybe because she thinks it's "God's will", perhaps she's afraid of having another stroke alone, or of dying alone? or is she just exhausted? Maybe there's be too much brainwashing, manipulation ("If you don't give me the money, I'll just have to mug an old lady in the street", "mum, you can't imagine my life in prison, I don't feel safe there", etc.) Or maybe she thinks she'll get a place in heaven? Last September, every service agency, institution I contacted gave me the same reply : "your mother doesn't want our help, she's happy with her son living there with her, she accepts giving him money, and it's her choice, she's "mentally autonomous" and hasn't any cognitive problems. We must respect her choice, she's free to do as she likes." The whole situation disturbed me greatly. I talked on the phone to a policeman on the case who said the situation didn't sit at all easy with him either. 2018 is his probabtion year and yet here he is manipulating, exploiting and stealing from this own mother. He gave me some advice, and told me if it was HIS mother, he would 1. try and get the brother back in prison (so the mother would no longer be isolated and the family could visit her again in order to work out a plan of action to help her out of this quagmire), then 2. get her a mental assessment (which would show she was not able to act in her own best interests and could therefore access available community help and support), and then 3. find her an alternative living accomodation (where the son would get limited access under surveillance). I was getting reports from my niece who visited her, who saw my brother completely out of it behind the front door (which freaked her out so much she isn't going to check in on my mum anymore), and my mum rocking back and forth in the living room in her armchair (as though to comfort herself?). I decided to take a week off and travel over there, I was on a mission with the policeman's 3 step-plan as a guideline of action, to see if I could talk to her in person. I only bought a one-way ticket to Scotland, planning on returning to my life, and getting the return ticket back, when my mission was done. I arranged to stay at one of my sister's for the duration of my stay. However, I quickly became a "persona non grata" for my mum because she evidently didn't want to hear what I had to say. I explained to her that my eldest sister was so depressed with it all that she was seriously thinking of committing suicide, she was talking of driving her car off the motorway. My mother was like a cold stone, she seemed strangely insensitive to what I was saying, as if I hadn't spoken. The only thing she came out with was to say that it was terrible the day before, the police had come (the same policeman incidently that I had talked to) and tried to tackle her son, to provoke him into hitting them back so they could properly arrest him. (My brother now in his 50s is not stupid, and was able to hold off from retaliating with the police so as to avoid arrest). I told my mother it was I that had contacted the police to make a visit because I was worried about her. Needless to say, my mother would no longer look at me, or speak to me. I learnt afterwards that she had repeated to my brother that it was I who had summoned the police, he phoned me and left me threatening messages. I no longer felt safe at my mum's (she told me herself I wasn't safe "after all the trouble you're causing") and that my brother could come home any minute. I didn't want to imagine what he was capable of, me on a mission to "save my mum" from his clutches and separate them, I was obviously his biggest threat to any heroin source. I told my mum she'd been a good mother, she'd done everything she could for him, she now had to "let him go". "Why does she think she deserves this kind of abuse?" She started sobbling, I told her repeatedly she had to "let it all out", that she'd been bottling this pain up for too long. While I was over there, my plan was to organise an "intervention" with all the family (meeting up elsewhere than at my mum's because he was always there, lurking around, controlling). There would be us 5 daughters, my aunt, and a few nieces, together we could pour our hearts out to try and make her see sense. Unfortunately, I didn't have the support of my sisters, on the contrary, they sabotaged what I was trying to do to save my mum from the situation. The only way I can describe it, is to say it was as though they were all living in La-La land, with their heads in the sand. Everytime I called my mum, she put the phone down on me. If my brother answered, he would curse and swear at me, threatening me if I called again. Once I heard him grappling the phone from my mum and hurting her in the process, she cried out in pain. I couldn't go round and see her anymore because of my brother's threats, I think pushed to anger he'd have been capable of knifing me, if it wasn't the fear of going back to prison which would stop him. I was enemy number 1 for him. After a week, I had exhausted all my options to help my mum. She didn't seem to care about me or my legitimate feelings of concern for her, she just accused me of rocking the boat, of being a trouble maker, of causing problems, of being "nasty", I had become the scape-goat. I decided to catch the first flight back home and cut all ties with everyone, my mum, my sisters, for my mental health sake. The situation was too crazy for me. I found myself once again in the horrific situation I had as a child : complete impotence. I was outraged at what was happening, I still am, but I cannot accept just accepting passively the mistreatment of somebody I love without being able to do anything about it, and for this very person to refuse my help. It's been a year now since I've cut those ties officially, for good, once and for all, with the whole of my family. I have to protect myself, the situation was dragging me back to the trauma and impotence of my childhood, the folly and abnormality of it all. It's no good just getting news from my sisters updating me on a situation which would no doubt progressively be getting worse and worse. I feel a bit disgusted at the lack of support from my sisters in 2018 at my moment of need (I had made a lot of sacrifices and put my whole life on hold to go over and help them) and for their passivity and lack of compassion for my mother. If I can't do anything for her, it would be too disturbing for me to just passively receive bad (and worsening) news, I don't know what to do with this suffering, this impotence. I think about my mother everyday , she is so often in my dreams, I have nightmares too about the both of them, where my mum is in danger. I have just recently discovered Leo's videos and through them I often try to make sense of what I'm going through. For example, on the "self esteem" video how some people think they "deserve" that kind of abuse, etc My heart feels completely broken, sometimes I cry so easily just thinking of her. I would never have wished the last years of my mother ending like this, she really doesn't deserve it. I feel like I just want my mum to die now, as peacefully as possible, but quicker rather than later. I will really feel relieved to learn that she's died. I just want her to be safe. I'd feel happier at the news of my brother dying from an overdose, except that my mother would be hurt by that, I wouldn't want her to get heartbroken over that. I feel so anxious at what could happen when she no longer has anything to give my brother. It drives me crazy seeing the dangerous situations she creates for herself, she seems to be so fatalistic. My only hope is that she is safe, the most basic thing in life, that's all I've ever wanted for her. Forget even about any happiness or peace for the moment, just basic personal safety, godammit. In spite of my huge tenderness for her, I can say today that I regret having this person as my mother, I feel like it's caused me too much suffering.

If it comes suddenly, it is most likely also bound to go suddenly. Sometimes this happens without us really knowing why. You can try to go and figure it out and maybe you'll find some nice answers, but this is not the essential. Be prepared for this too change. The best preparation for that shift is not to start fearing or mentally bulking yourself up or whatever, but to actually detach from the positive and pleasant sensations you're having right now. Just don't give it any special attention. Enjoy it, but when I say enjoying it I don't mean that you need to grab onto it. Just allow it to go through you and stay neutral towards it. People are all enthousiastic about the notion of detachment when things are going bad, but when things are going good they forget all about that notion and then completely lose themselves in the positive duality. This is how most people with bipolar disorder experience their life. They get depressed and then life gets all terrible and they may even start contemplating suicide, and then sometime later enter their manic phase in which they get all energetic and happy, and this depressive phase that they had loses all their meaning, and they get completely lose in the impulsive mania and start acting really stupid, because their thinking process is: "What does it matter? I'm completely happy anyway!". And then they have to deal with the shit they created in this manic phase when they enter their depressive phase again. And so the cycle goes on. You can't detach from the negative if you aren't willing to detach from the positive. Right now is your best opportunity. You may not feel like you're very interested right now because you're happy and nothing else really seems to matter because you're happy and peaceful anyways, but when you would get to a phase in which things would start to get much worse, then the notion of detachment will probably seem a whole lot more attractive to you, but then its in some sense too late because when you're low, you have much less energy and space for you to be able to detach yourself. When you're high, it's much easier to detach in a sense because the detachment won't come out of a struggle, which will be the tendency when you're on the low side of things. True freedom isn't what you're experiencing right now. True freedom is the detachment from this positive, pleasant experience too. Freedom is detachment from all. Good or bad, comfortable or uncomfortable. True and total freedom is to be aloof under any circumstances. That's what most people don't understand. They think that experiencing a high is the Ultimate. It's not the ultimate; it's just a high. It may be a existential melting with God and divine unity and infinite bliss or whatever, but once we get back in our normal state of mind and in the relative world, all it would have been was a high. Maybe such an experience is part of the Ultimate. But i feel that without the quality of the witness, of a detached Being, of what we could call "the fourth eye", I still feel like something is missing. If you come to get addicted or attached to such experiences, however divine and total it may be, then still you are not free. Seek freedom, not experiences nor insights.

@IChoseTheRedPill Grief is one of the many reasons my self actualisation path has intensified. I lost a close friend to suicide also and it took the rug out from beneath my feet. The pain and suffering was unbearable at times. Writing a letter to him really helped. As did allowing myself to really feel what I needed to feel. Self love, talking to others, asking for help, meditation, exercise, walking in nature. Time really does help.

I'd be really interested to hear more about this, either on this thread or elsewhere. Do you have a journal? Also, I'm glad suicide is not currently high on your agenda. I hope it stays that way for you.

LSD really fucks up my mental clarity and obliterates my ego (every time after peaks I have to re-assemble the ego). I can't think/contemplate properly with it or there's no "someone" to experience some mind-blowing states of consciousness. Also I experience a more zen/male-like type of love with LSD, but with MDMA it was an extremely intense Christ/feminine-like love. LSD is a very flexible substance, and I agree with better intention and training I can get there with it. Recently I got a "device" for committing suicide and planned to do so this weekend, MDMA made me re-think that))) It showed me that it would be a very selfish action on my part and cause insane suffering for my mother. Last LSD trip did not alleviate my desire to die at all, since it makes me realize it's all an illusion/nothing. Realizing that everything's a mental game/illusion when you're living a hellish life isn't fun. It adds up to insanity aspect. Also looks like this MDMA trip alleviated some of my social anxiety barriers. After it's peak I got MANY insights on the devilish ways I treat other people. MDMA is certainly not a top-weapon for spirituality, but has many unique benefits very few talk about (since it's a party drug).

What is Leo's stance on vulnerability? Say you're vulnerable/open with someone you want to have as a partner, is that good or bad? Would it be considered 'victim behavior'? All inner children are victim selves (Even the converse is true). And, everyone has an inner child as part of being human (cuz childhood trauma is part of being human). When you shame people for being victims, you're just deepening their emotional wounding to begin with. I think it's an abusive thing to do in a relationship! What do yall think? Also, we're a social species and we need each other. There's a difference between taking responsibility for your life and denying your need for someone to take responsibility for your life (and trying to meet that need yourself). I want a relationship in which both of us are taking responsibility for each other's life and our lives are integrated with each other. Does wanting this come under 'victim mentality'? Always remember that emotional needs are more important to the human body than physical needs. That's why people become martyrs, stop eating and drinking after losing a loved one, commit suicide, etc. I'm seeing a lot people getting shamed here for showing their victim sides. Is expressing how you feel (however delusional it may be) considered weakness and being macho all the time considered strength here on this forum? I understand if you may not want to feel sorry for victims (it may make you feel weak or something), but that's exactly what they need! When you tell a victim you feel sorry for them, they begin to find their feet.

Hi @lightnessofbeing, you need to release your trauma and also experience how the situation all happened because of love. to do this do the following. firstly read this book called "keeping pain in the past" its an amazing book on healing trauma where it talks about how to release trauma you need to remember, feel, express, release and reframe in order to heal from trauma. step 1: (I RECCOMEND DOING THIS WHOLE EXERCISE WITH A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHOTHERAPIST, you could do it solo but be careful !!!!) This letter must include, What happened, how it felt at the time, how it affected you since, What you are going to do to let it go. The first step is you must recall "what happened" and you must recall what the perpetrator of the trauma did, in agonizing detail. This part of the letter documents the part of your life that has been berried ---whatever comprises the content of your pain in the past. The goal for the first step of what happened is simple to understand but difficult to express. The greater the detail, the greater the immersion into the pain, and therefore the greater the opportunity for release and healing. Secondly, you must express how it felt to be you at the time. The greater the depth of feeling that you discuss, the greater the potential for healing. In the feeling chapter, I emphasized the need to feel your feelings fully. Its especially important as part of this exercise. All the feelings that have been trapped in your memory must be felt and expressed for release to occur. Horror, fear, hopelessness, vulnerability, panic, impending doom, and thoughts of death and suicide are all common emotions felt by the traumatized and all need to be written and included in this letter. Tears are often an integral part of expressing pain and horror. Step three---how this has affected the client since then---get the client to express how their youth innocence may have been stolen, how your ideas about love and family were permanently stained, or how their world became a dangerous place etc. In this part of the letter share how this part of this trauma(s) robbed me of my naïve smile and replaced it with a sense of fear and mistrust and with avoidance of eye contact. This second and third step of the letter is to allow you the opportunity to express in writing the deepest of human agony and attach words to feelings and sensations that have been virtually indescribably to this point. By expressing and releasing the pain, you will and can achieve healing.in the next part of the letter you must release for peace, in this part of the letter explains how you are going to let go of this traumatic event. The mere expression of emotional pain is not always curative. To release pain is to ultimately let go and letting go never condones the bad behavior, letting go is merely the release of pain. Letting go is a gift for yourself.in this part of the letter explain how you are going to let go of this situation and leave it in the past for good if you can. step 4: read this letter out loud to a train therapist who you trust and have built a relationship with (or you could do with a close friend or family member you trust but I personally recommend doing this with a trained therapist because there will be a lot of negative emotions arising and it is better to be with someone who can ground you and bring you back if you have flashbacks or something depending on how much it has affected you. but yes read this letter out loud to someone word to word in great detail. step 3: let a week pass and then watch Leos video on "what is love part 2" and "all criticism is untenable" and also used the information you learned in this weeks episode on self-love and contemplate how the whole situation happened because of love, how self-love works and that all criticism is untenable , this will help you contextualize reframe the situation in your mind, some psychedelics would really help in this part process !!! Id also recommend going to 5 or 6 reiki sessions for 5 or 6 weeks in a row and see how you feel off it in conjunction with all the other steps !!! hope this helps and sending much love to you !!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Go tell that to the shroom in your profile pic and see if it agrees with you. Going from loss of job -> CEO at most reduces a minuscule of suffering, if any. The reason why you disagree is because you've been brainwashed by the Capitalist upbringing you've had to believe CEOs have better lives and are in less suffering than people on the streets - and yet CEOs have the same, if not higher rate of suicide, early deaths and drug abuse as people living on the streets. God knows that the answer to people's suffering isn't manipulating the dream to suck up to the dogmas of capitalism. God knows its a mindset problem. And that's partly why the world is exactly the way it is. The world is already the best, beautiful, optimised for happiness the exact way it is right now. No not the world you're living in, I mean the world you go to when you focus on the present moment so hard that you forget who you are. Any other world than that found in the extreme depths of the present moment is as imaginary as the monster under your bed. And you wonder why, why God did you make a world with loss of jobs, illnesses, murders - simple. Because those things are as real as the monster under your bed. You dream them up every day, then complain when those dreams don't go the way you want. The solution isn't to shout and yell at that monster, the solution isn't to try and kill that monster(how can you kill a dream that you keep thinking about?) the solution is to stop believing in the dream. Same with poverty and illness. The solution isn't to try and cure poverty, nor is it to eradicate disease, its to stop believing in it in the first place. And yet its still valuable to eradicate disease, because God likes to create - but don't be fooled, you're not meant to eradicate disease to end suffering, you're meant to eradicate disease IF its a way for you to express who you want to be, who you are, you do it for the sake of helping God create.

I don't care that much whether a certain big industry caters to men or women or monkeys. All of it is totally out of my control. Let me remind you that there are also toxic femininity cultures in female-dominated industries. That's also out of my control. In my opinion, workers need more attention than customers who can just avoid the products or services. In game industry, men rat each other out to managers, so they cannot form unions. In some female-dominated industries, women harass each other to suicide and depression. Just adding more women to game industry doesn't make it better if the quality of women you add to it is not better than the quality of men in game industry. Given that game industry tends to attract shitty men, it can easily attract shitty women, too.

I’m not saying your perspective is wrong. To me, the perspective is narrow and you are extrapolating. I feel bad for a boy or girl that is discouraged from developing their masculine traits. And I feel bad for a boy or girl that is discouraged from developing their feminine traits. Yet I don’t correlate male = masculine and female = feminine as best. It is just as disappointing to me to see a boy discouraged from expressing masculine as a boy discouraged from expressing feminine. Yet in most cultures, it the suppression of males expressing feminine is more common, so that is my bigger concern. You seem to be hyper focused on the loss of masculinity. What about a young boy raised in a house with a masculine father who learned masculine traits? This boy was deprived the opportunity to develop as a feminine man or transgender woman. If he was raised by lesbian women, perhaps he could have blossomed into a beautiful transgender woman - rather than being stuck as a masculine male. When we identify and see only one side as being good, it creates a lens of perception. If I identify as male and think masculine maleness is best, I will interpret reality through that lens. I will feel bad for boys raised in single mother homes because they didn’t get a chance to have a masculine father role model. if I identify as nonbinary and see exploring non-binary gender as best, I will feel bad for children that grew up with heterosexual parents and were raised to believe they were male or female. I would feel bad they didn’t have the opportunity to explore non-binary genders. Both views come from a place a love, we want people to have access to what we think is good. Yet each view is also contracted through a lens of perception. I don’t see a LGBTQ or progressive conspiracy to brainwash children into becoming gay, lesbian or transgender. The goal is for LGBTQ inclusion and equality. Yet to the majority dominant group, inclusion and equality appears as a threatening power grab that is harmful. Cis, trans, straight, gay can all be included in society. Ironically, the opposite of the situation you describe above is very prevalent and causes a lot of harm. LGBTQ kids undergo enormous marginalization/ostracization/stigmatization. Abuse toward LGBTQ teens is prevalent - such that they often mask their identity and suffer. Their rates of psychological problems and suicide is much higher than the general population. Why don’t you feel concern for these kids? Why aren’t you a advocate for them and willing to fight for them?

There seems to be judgements of what is “good” and “bad” as well as a rationalization of that judgement as being “right”. Of course a household with heterosexual parents can be healthy, it can also be unhealthy. As well, a household with lesbian or gay parents can be healthy. You don’t seem to be seeing this through other perspectives and relative experience. . . A man you judge as insufficiently masculine is as “natural” as you are. The relative experience of a human being that identifies as man or masculine is as true and natural as the relative experience of a human being that identifies as a woman or feminine. There is a young man that has an inner desire to be more masculine, yet didn’t have the resources as a child. There is a young man that resonates with femininity, yet suffers because society tells him there is something “wrong” with you. There is a young man that is gay or desires to be a transgender woman, yet suffers because others have projected onto him that he is not normal and needs to be someone he is not. Marginalization/ostracization of gender is a major cause of neuroses, depression and suicide in young adults. I would love the person. If they asked me for help to learn about their true self and grow, I would try to help them. I wouldn’t say “No, that’s actually not who you are. You need help to be someone I think you should be”. If someone told me they desired more confidence and assertiveness, I would try to help them with that. If someone told me they desired to get in touch with their emotions and learn how to be vulnerable, I would help them with that. I wouldn’t project onto them what I think they should be. For me, that doesn’t feel loving and being truly helpful. I’ve found it helpful to spend time with actual LGBTQ people, learn and observe how natural they are.

I think what you posted could be misleading. for example, are you suggesting I should be thankful to God for my psychotic insanity, or to the people who committed suicide due to psychosis, or thankful to God that a psychotic person nearly raped a woman?

don`t get yourself confused because you are stressed out with your kids sometimes! there is a range of people scolding their children and a range of tone scolding a child and a range of words that still count as halfways acceptable due to being stressed. why do you try to downsize the problem while it`s maybe important for the child, to stay alarmed. did you read that? a four year old! someone needs to put words into a child so it even learns how to speak. i only know of one case of suicide of a six year old - a child would usually not even think of something like that. either it`s the mother who told her or it`s someone else or it is someone who told that to her mother as she only learned after three that something like her even exists. the i only exists after the age of three. how could she understand anything else if she is responsible for everything.

Sure but how would you answer the question then? Do you agree that it is confusing, of course I am god but havent the insights told us that an individual human will nevertheless does not exist and it is all gods will? Thats what I have learned so far, which doesnt mean I am not god (allthough you might think I am still confused). But it means that I as a human only am performing whatever my highest conscious self wants to and that I will never figure out how consciously it unfolds step by step I just perform according to thoughts, Impulses, conditioning. .. And so on. If I am conscious enough through lots of training I manage to supress thoughts and mostly be and witness and remain in bliss. Then there are people that are highly unconscious but still perform according to their/my/our highest self who still makes the decisions with utmost intelligence, do you agree? So how does suicide fit into that highest conscious intelligent decision performing? Its a really old curiosity which could be interesting to dissolve, because it seems paradoxical that we have no individual free will but still when it comes to suicide suddenly we have it.

Nothing is taboo in spirituality. Suicide is the self inflicted death of the meat body vehicle. The meaning of suicide is giving up or resetting the game. Of course the mental body cannot ever be killed nor can it die, it can only be transformed. So suicide is silly and stems from a lack of understanding but it's of course about more than just that (there are more mostly negative feelings involved).

I think you are confusing God for god's false identity. I do ask myself too the nature of suicide, thought. It's a very taboo aspect, even in spirituality.

We talk alot about how free will does not exist, and cannot grasp it remaining in the ape/monkey mind. But over time we have glimpses of god and realize that its all god and we dont exist and that ll our suffering was also due to the will of god. But how extreme is suicide? What does it imply in terms of gods will? Is it god wanting to experience such an extreme state of darkness and desperation that he ultimately kill himself? So why do all religions judge suicide then? It seems paradox under these premises, what could suicide significantly show in terms of gods will, in terms of human free will (where ultimately the human doesnt exist and god does) ?

It can be an act of selflessness. Think of Christ or Gandhi. You can basically sacrifice yourself for your life purpose. But this is still all part of the relative domain of life/death. From the Absolute perspective there is no one to die. But if you get it in your mind this idea of "I will sacrifice myself in the name of glory and I will go down in history as a good human being." << That's ego Be careful not to create a self-righteous fantasy about sacrificing yourself. Rather, act as though you are not important at all. There is no sense is committing suicide for a good cause. No good cause requires your suicide. Rather just do your work and if you happen to get killed in the process by some haters, so be it. But if you actively try to be a martyr, that's ego. A true martyr never tries to be martyr. He's just doing his work and others react to it. If your life becomes selfless and has great impact on others, you will naturally develop haters who wish you harm.

Well... I think it can go both ways. Burning yourself in public to protest against the soviet regime doesn't sound like an appealing way to die for me personally. I'm very much focused on internal transformation as opposed to external change. As far as his perspective is concerned... Really, it's still a matter of attitude. He can do it feeling greed for paradise, he can do it in rage, he can do it feeling pride for being willing to make such a sacrifice, feeling superior for having done it. He could've also been in failing in life and ending up in hopelessness and despair. At such a point, using the excuse of being a martyr is a good excuse to commit suicide, whilst suicide was something he wanted to do regardless. This is also a possibility. So all of that would be coming from the ego. It could've also been possible that he did it in a very clear moment, where there was no struggle accomodated with it, and where his decision to do was just a very clear recognition that his consciousness called him forth at that moment to do that act. So really, the act itself is not necessarily indicative of the state of mind such a person is in.

Instead of committing suicide, practice surrender. It's much more effective. You can die before you die. As I'm trying to do this, I'm getting a little bit depressed but what the hack, it will pass. We will die one day anyway.

I've been thinking about this question for some time, since I have been intrigued by the warrior persona, which I simplistically explain as someone, who is willing to give up everything (die in battle) in order to save his village. I remember Leo mentioning, that martyrs are coming from a place of ego, but don't all warriors do that? They are willing to die (act of selfnessness) for what they believe/think/feel is a good cause (ego)... is this a paradox? One example of would be a student in Czechoslovakia, who burnt himself to death in public as a protest against the Soviet regime with the intention of showing his fellow citizens, that they should not give in to the invaders and should rise against them to take back the country. more details: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Palach It does look quite noble to me and the czech culture does honor his act up until this day, but didn't he die for the sake of his ideology or belief? PS: I'm not going to kill myself, nor would I like you to do it... I'm genuinely curious about this matter.

Imagine death? Lol. Death has always been imaginary. Without imagination there cannot be a notion of death. If you're thinking "death", that's you imagining it. Even the notion of suicide is imaginary, since you must imagine yourself not existing. Which is an impossibility. You might as well imagine that you are a horse.

The news just hit right now and I received a notification. And what I read just now baffles me beyond belief. My mind says "how could this be?“ I wish this on no one. It's tragic to say the least that even in 21st century we still experience brainwashing and obsessive devotion in followers to the point of mania. Sometimes I cannot make sense of it at all. But this is food for thought for everyone. We must be careful while navigating this world of spirituality and consciousness. Meanwhile it is meant to help us deal with life in better ways, it's misuse and lack of discernment can cause a lot of harm. Your life matters most. Spirituality is only a tool that helps through the maze. You might be going through the dark night of the soul but please understand that it's only a short while. Spirituality is all about light. If you feel something is not working for you, then please don't do it. Don't give into some random esoteric belief. Remember your mental sanity is of prime importance. So the news is out there right now that a follower of Teal Swan has committed suicide. This is tragic. I pray for the deceased so that they may rest in peace. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50478821 Please understand that everything has it's pros and cons. And to blindly follow any person is dangerous. Always use the discernment of your mind. And do not stray into darkness. Thank you. Condolences to the deceased and their family.