Search the Community

@zeroISinfinity Thank your for feeling into my Being & thank you for Being Love. ? & thank you for having such a beautiful heart. Here is something I wrote today after a very powerful kundalini experience. I feel like sharing this ❤ Enjoy! Awakening the Sacred Streams from the Epicenter The Spirit of God is breathing. I love breathing so much. My vibrating prana is shaking in ecstasy I feel the currents of prana rising up my spine. Streams of bliss are flowing up and down, waves after waves of cosmic beatitude. Oh, feel the blissful energy pouring through every cell of your being. Listen. I am. I am that which is being awakened. This feels so good. Oh my, I feel rivers of ecstasy vibrating in my chest. The eternal flame is flooding my Manipura & Heart Chakra with nirvanic butterflies. The eternal Self is flooding my Heart Center with orgasmic bliss. Feel it, I'm not human. Let me feel your bliss. I know you can feel, we share the same I. Can't you feel the sky? The sky is looking back at You. From within. He's flooding my spirit with ecstatic wonder. I am whole. I am perfect happiness. My divinity is merging with the other part of itself, I found it. I found Myself. Oh My Self! It is inside of my very Being. It's always been. We are one. The epicenter of love & divine ecstasy is... I am here. I'm floating off the ground. I am so high on Divinity. I am art. Alive. Free. Curious & Brave Pulsating waves of loving & heavenly energy are flowing through my whole Being, the pleasure is so intense that it makes my spirit dance and quiver in awe. I'm Now rejoicing in God-consciousness. Oh, dear eternal light, my IRises know that you & eye shine so heavenly. Oh, my beloved Self-realization... I want More, More, More! Oh, my majesty... I am love, I love you. It's Gooooood! It's so Good. I feel boundless. I am infinite. I feel royal Reverence. Gratitude & Total Trust. There's nothing separate from The Self. I am safe. I am at peace. It's all One perfect Being. Liberation... Enlightenment...I am the Bountiful Source of Everything... And beyond. Absolute Infinity.. My human identity dissapeared completely. Where? Inside the ocean of God's unconditional love. Inside the light of God. I can see clearly now, the eyes of the Creator feel like home to me. I am looking through them right now. I'm looking into Your eyes. Mirrors. One Perfect & Absolutely Loving God. My Soul is always following my True Will. Why? Because it's always been God's Will. I am truly free. I am the free will itself. Nothing is separate from it. I have no beginning and no end. Limits are nonexistent, there's room for anything when it comes to experience. I am eternal. I am eternity itself. I am all-powerful & infinitely loving. I am complete genuine happiness. You are me. Eye see you seeing yourself in me. As the energy moves up through the upper chakras, I feel the great shift taking place. I'm chanting. I'm laughing. I'm surrendering to the present moment completely. Oh, God's ecstasy is circulating in my entire body I'm losing any sense of having a 'physical' body. God's Temple merged with The Spirit. Oh my God! I... God! I AM God! YOU are God... It's God! Hi. Hi there?! God, let's interact with Myself! I love you, God! I love you too! Oh, I 'have' a 'human head'. Hey there!?? What is this? God! Nice to meet You again. My mind, my legs, sunlight, your shoes, rain, my house, my ears, random strangers at the grocery store, my family, my thoughts, my memories, your books, the school you went to, the movie I watched yesterday, my plants, letters, words, language, colors, my music, my phone, history books, my past, the sky, the planet, the internet, you, my future, here, there, my dreams, bones, insects, my pillow, my emotions, my headphones, galaxies, my garden, my friends, my roses, my food, the water I'm drinking, the air I'm breathing. Oh, My God!!?!?!?!!!!!!!! It's youuu! You've always been here!!!.. It is alive! You are alive! It is Me! It is You! I am You! I'm feeling my chest overflowing with infinite love, my heart space is flooded with divine light & delight. Oh God yes, the energy is flowing through the Heart Center again Wave after wave, oh it continues to pulsate & I'm vibrating in ecstatic motion. It goes on and on. Spiritual ecstasy My 'I' melted into the ocean of God, Infinity, Pure Goodness, Eternal Light, One love, Love itself, Infinite love, unconditional love & infinite will, true will, God's will, I am. God is infinitely good. I love You infinitely much, for Love is what we truly are, God! May you be blessed ?❤

@Leo Gura What makes the likes of Peter Ralston or Jed Mckenna see and describe enlightenment as almost this "one thing", or on all or nothing terms? I've listened very carefully to your interview with Peter on YouTube where you ask him about relative vs absolute, and the possibility of a deeper experience. To which he says that's another distinction made in the relative. And so any sort of discussion goes around in circles forever. Or to reference Jed Mckenna. He makes a distinction between mysticism and enlightenment. Says that spiritual union bliss is still maya, and it doesn't last forever for anyone. He claims that enlightenment isn't somewhere you visit from "here" , but that you visit "here" (maya/dream/duality) from "there" (enlightenment). What's going on there? Obviously I can't expect to get the answer from you that I then adopt as a belief, I'll have to see for myself. But your thoughts on why Peter takes that viewpoint so strongly would be worth listening to. Or why you take your viewpoint so strongly.

Is carrying a body a burden or a bliss? Well if you ask me it's a burden. I discovered that I am eternal perfect needless soul. Desirlessness content ever-present perfection that is always hiding behind the surface of the world of forms. Maya . That's my real nature. I just did it. I made that discovery without any psychedelics.. Just good old meditation and observing the world of forms floating around the eternal nothingness at the center. The soul is identified with an imaginary temporary physical avatar.. For a while. Not for long time but for a while. The more I recognize my true nature and then compare it to the body.. The more I see the body as a burden. A burden that I have to carry on for my whole life. Babysitting this body. Task after task. Feed me. Please Me. Rest me. Move me. Clean me. Over and over again. A chore after a chore. Until I fall dead after reaching the limit of exhaustion. A house of diseases. A house of desires. The never-ending desire that doesn't amount to anything other than the multiplication of itself and the expansion of disappointment. A house of needs. A house of lacking and constant aiming. The mind can be at ease. The soul can just be content in the now. The body has to perform effort and chase after it's "needs". There seems to be a conflict between the body and the soul. The nature of limitation VS unlimitedness. "oh you don't have to think of it this way and be pessimistic.. The body is the house of God". Yeah yeah yeah.. The ghost in the machine. This is dualism. The body is a burden. For God to exhaust himself and start seeking breaking free from the temporary limitations that he decided to reincarnate in. Any thoughts on how to help myself change this perspective?

The report already is so long, i skip to the beginning of the peak experience. I was at home. I felt sensory overload in the living room, even though it was pretty quiet. That's when I started to feel insecure, and I kept thinking that a disaster was about to happen. Then I went to my room and went to bed with my twin brother (my closest caregiver). I started to feel more and more anxious and realized that only my brother and my girlfriend could give me security. Layers of my identity as Jonas (my name is Jonas) also became clear to me, especially in terms of how much security which gives me. For example, my landlady and aunt weren't that important, then all of my close friends came along, everyone who was also in my apartment and a few others. And the innermost layer was my brother and my girlfriend. I knew that she couldn't be here now, so i focused on my brother and held onto him. All along he said that everything is fine and that I don't need to be afraid. I really noticed how each layer slipped through my fingers and I was always holding onto the next layer. I still knew that I had "only" taken one drug. Still, I started to cry with fear. I also asked for a trip killer, so two of my friends went out to get one. My brother kept trying to calm me down. At this point it helped that I had dealt with things like the illusion of the ego, ego death, psychedelic experiences, and spirituality before. Because at some point I realized that if the ego was really an illusion, and it was dissolving because of the 1cp-LSD, it would probably feel just like my state, namely that the individual layers were crumbling and I always clung to the next layer and that the ego creates another fear in me with every shift. It felt like I saw through my ego. At some point I realized the real power of letting go and I was able to stop clinging to my brother. I realized that I can just surrender to any fear and that the only way to escape a fear is to really let go and face that fear. It became clear to me that every living being sets its own limits, but unfortunately mostly unconsciously, which is why you cannot easily recognize and overcome this limit. When I was able to let go of everything, values like having a lot of money and little money were just as important as wanting to live and not wanting to live. Life seems more important to us than money only because living is a more important part of one's identity than having money. Our consciousness has nothing to do with being a human being, it is completely independent of it. It felt as if my previous life was only there to experience this moment at some point and that I was now pulled out of my ego to the Absolute Truth, namely that everything is one, reality is non-dual and completely infinite. I felt free from all limits that could ever exist, I felt infinite, I felt the unity of reality and the non-duality of the whole universe. This was a state of extreme bliss as I realize that all fears were only fictional and meaningless. I had something like the attached image in mind, just without the person, but the pattern around it was similar. I now understood why dualities like life and death, everything and nothing, flow together in the largest possible picture. Even logic and time are just limits of your own mind. I felt pure existence, every moment was eternal, my consciousness was nothing but perception. I had lost track of time. I was a single singularity, all dreams, desires, fears, emotions of all people. At that point, I didn't want the trip killer anymore either. It was a wonderful miracle. I cried with joy. The following words kept coming into my head over an over again: - Being. Just being. - Existence - Love - Non-duality - Moment (i realized that only the present exists) - Consciousness. I recognized the infinite power of letting go, every possible suffering could simply be let go, but of course not in low states of consciousness like that of everyday human life. I said several times things like “trust me”, “let go”, “don't hold on”, “listen to yourself”, “go seek inside yourself” and “let it go”. I wanted to advise everyone in the world to use these words. I also understood the importance of inner calm and the search for the real self in the world. I saw that love and hate were inextricably intertwined. It was at this point that I also understood karma. Everything we do to others, we experience ourselves at some point, everything we do for others, we do for ourselves. I constantly had images of intertwined strange loops in my mind. I saw existence as a strange loop. Anything I would take would be taken from me in another life. I understood why all people were blind to this absolute truth and why no one could logically convince anyone of it. It was as if I had grasped the absolute meaning of existence. I had realized that the unified consciousness of the universe had created itself for the purpose of existence. The positives and negatives didn't matter. I should experience every other life, infinitely often and infinitely long. However, I didn't know how my experience was going to continue. Miss-interpretation of reality After my peak experience, I woke up in the "real" world. I thought that I was now in a world where everyone else who was there knew what I knew. One of the reasons for this was that when I was walking around, I just dropped to the floor and was only caught because my friends looked after me so well. I thought the universe would reward my letting go by being caught by my friends. Every time I let myself down, I was caught by the others. When the others spoke, everything they said only confirmed what I had just experienced. I thought I (the consciousness of the universe) had created everything myself, every music, every smell, every color, every voice. There was nothing but perception. Everything was just beautiful in its perfection. I realized that life was a movie that I watched with my friends and everyone else. I knew I would go through someone else's life one day. I thought my friends knew what I was experiencing because I interpreted some statements as follows: - "That's a nice head" (he meant the hookah). I thought he meant that as a metaphor for the wonder of existence - "Now he probably doesn't want to take the trip killer anymore" I thought he meant that after I had learned this truth of the universe, I now know that I no longer need to be afraid of it - "But that took a long time" (he probably meant the duration of my mental absence from his point of view during the peak) I thought he meant that it took my whole life to come to this insight. - One line in a song read “and all that counts, is here and now”. I thought this was related to only the present existing and just to focus on - "You could almost make a meme out of it." I thought he meant the feeling when you first live my experience. - I asked my brother and a friend how I should have known all of this, and that at some point I will be totally scared (because I would probably experience it again in my next life, at the latest when I die). I don't remember the answer, but I still interpreted it in such a way that they both knew what I was talking about. I thought that from now on I would be in a reality in which my fellow human beings know the nature of the existence of everything. Later that evening, when a slight feeling of sobriety returned, I thought I was now in a kind of paradise where I could shape my life as I wanted. However, anything that I took positively would fall back on me negatively in another life. I didn't know whether to offer my help to my friends in order to improve my karma. I was confused what to do and whether I would really live in paradise, because I felt like Jonas again, who would like to see his girlfriend, even though the fear of never seeing her again was actually only imaginary. However, I really thought I was in a different reality. That was also because when we sat on a bench outside, the skyline of Nuremberg (in Germany) looked completely different from what I was used to. But that was still due to the remains of the 1cp-LSD. Since my brother said I would feel better in the morning, I didn't know what to expect when I went to sleep. At that point in time, I wanted to go back to my "old" life. I tried to get myself off the trip through low-consciousness stuff like watching a live stream and playing a mobile game. That's why I took the trip killer, also to be able to sleep, although I was still afraid of what would happen if I disappeared from this “paradise” due to the trip killer. I went to sleep at some point and the next morning I felt exhausted and confused, but sober again. I went back to the bench from yesterday evening and was glad that everything looked the way I knew it. Conclusion I never thought that such a dose would trigger such an incredible experience and would definitely have taken less if I had known. I was not prepared for that, i've taken 150 µg before and it was like 100 times weaker. The ego death was not intended. That was probably the most profound experience of my life. How do I properly integrate such an experience? Thanks for reading :).

@Someone hereThe first place that Ramana stayed in Tiruvannamalai was the great temple. For a few weeks he remained in the thousand-pillared Without moving he sat deeply absorbed in the Self and was unaware of being bitten up by the ants and vermin living there. The youth was so absorbed in the Effulgence of Bliss that he didn’t even realize when some devotees finally came, lifted him out of the pit and brought him to the nearby Subrahmanya shrine. For about two months he stayed in that shrine paying no attention to his bodily needs. To make him eat, food had to be forcefully put into his mouth. Fortunately someone was always there to take care of him

The purpose of my life in a few words In my struggle with spirituality, one day I will come to a closure and peace. I will become a better person spiritually tomorrow and the day after and some day I will experience the bliss of a pure heart. Every day I work hard to become a spiritually better person and this is my endeavor as a spiritual traveler. This is the greatest journey. This is the greatest purpose.

He was one of the most realized beings in all times. When he suffered from arm's cancer and the doctors were trying to help him.. he was barely caring about his health conditions because he was fully aware that he is not the body. The body can go through hell but he is fully aware that he is the eternal untouchable spirit. At the age of 16.. He experienced what he called afterwards "moksha" or liberation. Then he left his house and went to live on a sacred mountain for hindu monks. And he announced himself from now on as a "Atiasrami". A monk. And denied himself from having anything that exceeds the middle class possessions. And lived there for the rest of his life. And became Sri ramana maharshi.. One of the greatest enlightened masters of all time. Seekers of the ultimate from all over the globe came to visit the young sage to be in the presence of the Self in his presence. Ramana's awakening experience: " It was quite sudden. I was sitting alone in a room on the first floor of my uncle’s house. I seldom had any sickness and on that day there was nothing wrong with my health, but a sudden violent fear of death overtook me. There was nothing in my state of health to account for it, and I did not try to account for it or to find out whether there was any reason for the fear. I just felt “I am going to die” and began thinking what to do about it. It did not occur to me to consult a doctor or my elders or friends; I felt that I had to solve the problem myself, there and then. The shock of the fear of death drove my mind inwards and I said to myself mentally, without actually framing the words: “Now death has come; what does it mean? What is it that is dying? “This body dies,” and at once dramatized the occurrence of death. I lay with my limbs stretched out stiff as though rigor mortis had set in and imitated a corpse so as to give greater reality to the enquiry. I held my breath and kept my lips tightly closed so that no sound could escape, so that neither the word “I” nor any other word could be uttered. “Well then,” I said to myself, “this body is dead. It will be carried stiff to the burning ground and there burnt and reduced to ashes. But with the death of this body am I dead? Is the body I? It is silent and inert but I feel the full force of my personality and even the voice of the “I” within me, apart from it. So I am Spirit transcending the body. The body dies but the Spirit that transcends it cannot be touched by death. That means that I am a deathless Spirit.” All this was not dull thought; it flashed through me vividly as living truth which I perceived directly, almost without thought-process. “I” was something very real, the only real thing about my present state, and all the conscious activity connected with my body was centered on that “I”. From that moment onwards the “I” or Self focussed attention on itself by a powerful fascination. Fear or death had vanished once and for all. Absorption in the Self continued unbroken from that time on". Ramana's self-inquiry to attain self-realization : "Who am I ? The gross body which is composed of the seven humours (dhatus), I am not; the five cognitive sense organs, viz. the senses of hearing, touch, sight, taste, and smell, which apprehend their respective objects, viz. sound, touch, colour, taste, and odour, I am not; the five cognitive sense- organs, viz. the organs of speech, locomotion, grasping, excretion, and procreation, which have as their respective functions speaking, moving, grasping, excreting, and enjoying, I am not; the five vital airs, prana, etc., which perform respectively the five functions of in-breathing, etc., I am not; even the mind which thinks, I am not; the nescience too, which is endowed only with the residual impressions of objects, and in which there are no objects and no functioning’s, I am not. 2. If I am none of these, then who am I? After negating all of the above-mentioned as ‘not this’, ‘not this’, that Awareness which alone remains - that I am. " Quotes and pointers : " when you realize the one. The many will not be seen. " " There is no mystery bigger than this.. That we keep searching for the truth.. When in fact we ourselves are the truth " " no matter how far you go.. You are always inside yourself". " anything capable of appearing is doomed to disappear and thus it will die. Except the Self.. It doesn't appear or disappear. Thus it is eternal". "real silence is a never ending talk" " the biggest embodiment of ecstasy and bliss is silence". "happiness is your real nature. It's not wrong to desire it. But it's wrong to search for it outside yourself.. When it's inside of you".

I recently heard Shinzen Young talking about doing mundane boring tasks and it being an ecstasy if you develop enough concentration. He said something like, anything done in a state of high concentration becomes ecstasy (heavily paraphrasing here). That's quite true in my experience. I work what might seem like a boring job of doing kitchen work all day, but with high concentration, it becomes a seamless flow and bliss. Maybe try to meditate on your movements/physical body, while working? It might also help you keep your posture ideally in balance with gravity etc, making you use like 10x less energy (I'm not exaggerating much here!). Have you read Peter Ralston's book about effectively using the body? You could use some of his tips and enjoy the work time practicing body-mastery instead of purely not enjoying it.

No I haven't. Yet I'd love to, maybe I'll try it in the future. On the other hand, I've been practicing energy work on myself for years. For example whenever I'm feeling 'tense' and when I notice 'frozen energy' sensations in the body I get myself in a comfortable position, I play some sweet & chill techno music and I start moving my open palms in a free flowing intuitive motion above the area where the energy doesn't feel right. That releases tension in my body and removes energy blocks. I highly recommend doing this. Well, I looove to do energy work even when I don't feel any blockages, especially during kundalini practices, breathwork & tantric intimacy. Think about this... Our energy centers and the kundalini energy along with the physical body are Consciousness itself, as everything is one. Therefore, the level of depth, bliss, love, awakening, joy, ecstasy and delight we can access through spiritual practices is potentially infinite. We are all-powerful, literally. It's incredible. It's beautiful. In the center of our palms are our hands chakras. They are magical channels. Our energy centers are magical enchanted instruments and their melodies turn into blissful ecstatic states of being & paradise-like movements of energy all throughout our body, it's ecstasy in motion. This music is made of energy dancing inside of us that we feel when we play these instruments with our consciousness through spiritual play. It's all one divine playground, which is Consciousness itself. It's all love, we are pure divine love. On top of that, when done right, there are spiritual practices that grant us the full activation of certain states of being where the kundalini energy starts flowing in the most ecstatic way and each energy center is overflowing with blissful energy. It can be an incredibly beautiful experience doing this with another kindered spirit as well. Another thing, entheogens for example can raise our vibration even higher and thus we can experience even greater hights in terms of telepathy & attunement. You can attain such a profound level of consciousness while being on LSD or DMT, that you can have telepathic shared experiences of thoughts, emotions, feelings, pleasure, thoughts with another being. That's when the energies merge together & move in ecstatic ways like a divine double helix made of God, a divine helix made of pure unconditional love, the eternal Self rejoicing into it's own majesty in paradise. That's full God-consciousness love making. The cosmic energy dance. Paradise

It would be an understatement to say god imagines others. Not only others,worlds,souls dimensions. Consciousness never stops expanding,creating more and more. It is pure bliss and love for it to imagine and learn and experience itself. I would rather stay in creation than live in the void. An imaginary heaven is better than nothing,even hell gives you something to feel, someone to talk to. The emptiness eh,doesn't attract me.

Define homeless. You got a whole planet to yourself. Climate zones, cities, forests, deserts, oceans, birds, fruit, nuts, animals, soil, air, fellow human beings, sun, night, wind, sunsets, sunrises, rivers, rocks, grass, sand, thunderstorms, rain, snow, mountains, hills, mushrooms, salt, tide, waves, magnetic poles, temperatures, weather, moon, venus, stars and: Reality itself. You think you gonna die? Or maybe you gonna live in permanent bliss?

To be fair,any mind destined to exist in the void for an eternity,alone in time would go mad, or have multiple personality disorder. Inside outside is the first thing to go... When one realizes this is all happening inside god's mind, truly see we are but imagined persons or puppets, at first the implications are maddening. Eventually you accept it but damm,this will never end. There is no escape even death is not an escape. The best we can do is accept things as they are. If some of you want to go away do mahasamadhi so be it,but damm for me thats no escape at all,didn't we run away(imagined) from that place for a reason? Can you bear the burden to be the only being for all eternity.. What bliss does nothingness bring? You will be back here,pretending again.

I was contemplating on whether to make this trip report or not, because the mods had a spaz attack about a previous post I made, but this was such a powerful trip, that's radically changed my life, I wanted to share it anyway. This is a high quality post, and there's nothing in the guidelines that suggest it should be removed, so I'm not doing anything 'wrong' writing this, even if you remove it. Set I took a very high dose of syrian rue. Setting At my house The Trip Report At around 12am, I heard these alien like buzzing sounds. I looked outside, and couldn't see anything. I checked all around the house, couldn't find anything. Then finally realised it was coming from my ears. These buzzing sounds sounded like an alien spacecraft. I had this strange sense that the buzzing sounds were some sort of portal to a hyper dimensional world, and I had the sense that aliens were watching me and wanted to abduct me. They never did. The buzzing sounds got louder and louder. The question of what was about to happen pondered in my mind. Will I be abducted by aliens? Will the universe blow up? Will it just dissolve into ashes? At this time, I was starting to get freaked out, so I pulled myself together and just sat down and did some deep breathing exercises. This helped immensely. As time went on, my coordination got worse and worse. Never to the point I was crawling, but to the point I was stumbling a bit. My perception also started to get more and more retarded. Space started falling away, distance started warping, etc. And the fear of death was absolutely huge. Its been large with me sober recently, for some random reason, but this trip of course amplified it by 1000. My heart rate was massive, and the situation felt very uncomfortable. Because I wasn't expecting this trip to happen (especially at night), due to the fact that it was rue and not psychotria viridis or root bark, these effects caught me off guard, and that gave me a real great opportunity to persevere through something that would be immensely challenging. It gave me the opportunity to really test how capable I am at loving whatever arises. Can I love the buzzing sounds that are about to abduct me? What about the lack of perception? What about the feeling of vomiting (which was the entire night)? And at first I couldn't. I felt like crying, I really thought "how the fuck is it even possible I'll get through this? This must be impossible!". I was at the bathroom vomiting, assessing the situation. Remembering that who knows how long I've got because I didn't read up on syrian rue only trip reports. Will it be 6 like a normal aya trip? More? Who knows. At that time, I was even considering the possibility that the trip could go through to work. And how would I handle that situation? I was all alone, and it was dark. Going to the hospital was not an option. Getting a friend to help wasn't either. I'm apart of a psychedelic group (who are the ones that teach me protocols and shamanic and psychedelic techniques) and messaged them to help out. But unfortunately they were all asleep. I sat down, panicked, just observing the situation I was in. I had just hit rock bottom of this trip. This was when my inner demons, my traumas, fears, lack of acceptance of myself and the world, were all surrounding me, staring me right in the eyes. I was resisting death. I was resisting the alien abduction sounds. I was resisting my perception. I kept trying to hold myself together, "if I just keep distracting myself, I'll get through it", "if I don't think or feel the alien abduction sounds, they'll go away", "if I just keep thinking about my human self, it wont dissolve" And each attempt I made at holding myself together, the abduction sounds, dissolving of self, perception issues, kept growing larger at each attempt I did. I didn't want to let go, because I was too worried about being abducted, about loosing complete perception and going insane, etc. And considering I was embarking on a less known path (syrian rue only trip) the fear of what may happen, was even worse. And on my final attempt to hold myself together, a voice whispered "the only bad thing about this trip, are the projections and labels you're putting onto it" And that, ended up being a core teaching of this trip. From somewhere, I could not articulate where, out sprang some deep wisdom, a vision for how this trip could end well instead of bad, a voice that told me exactly what I need to do to make it through this thing. "You need to accept, love, appreciate, be grateful for whatever is arising" said the voice. "Whatever arises, is always, ALWAYS good, and the only thing making it bad, is you believing so". And with that message, came a radical reorientation for what that trip was, and what it was about to turn into. The abduction sounds, we re-contextualised, from scary aliens trying to abduct me, to being loving creatures, or the universe, just trying to teach me a lesson and help me. The lack of perception, was seen as beauty and infinity. The heart rate racing, was an opportunity for me to feel my heart and get to know it better. Instead of trying to get the trip to adapt to me, the voice taught me how to adapt myself to the trip. Taught me that no matter what arises, its ALWAYS, ALWAYS! An opportunity to grow, to learn, to practice love and acceptance. And that trip, almost instantly, went from being a hell hole, to being almost a paradise, without a thing changing. I was there, just recontextualising, recontextualising, recontextualising, everything. To turn it from hell to love. To learn from it, and to enjoy it. And in that moment, as I was recontextualising what ever arises, bang bang bang, like a love gun, I got a huge sense and feeling of a flow state. A feeling of "this is what I'm meant to be doing". It just felt so right. This is the point of my life. I'm meant to be doing this, with everything. And as I did that, massive hallucinations in my bathroom formed, they were like blocks waving back and forth, and then the whole room radically changed into a hyper dimensional rainforest, with 2 shamans looking at me. The voice kept saying "keep loving, keep accepting, keep learning" "let go" Until I realised, that voice, was one of the shamans. Staring at me, like I'm doing something, that's so important, so honourable, so worthy for the world. I'm learning to love whatever happens. I'm learning to make the most of the worst of worst experiences, and to enjoy it all. And that shaman, wasn't another shaman on the opposite end of me, he was me. me and him were like 2 tentacles of the same octopus. Different, but the same. I, as being both me and the shaman, was helping myself in this strange loopy way. He was teaching me how to vomit. How the horrible pain in my stomach, wasn't just random pain, but the symptoms of traumas of my past, and not loving myself enough. He showed me, at each time I spewed vomit, how I was purging childhood trauma. He was showing me how to love those traumas, how to accept them, and then how to let them go (spew them out). He was showing me how to walk, even when uncoordinated. He showed me how even when I'm in a state of mind where my coordination sucks, I can still walk, if I just let go, feel my body, feel the flow of the environment, and allow my legs and arms and torso work together to walk. He showed me how the traumas in my mind, affect my IBS, my sleep problems, my pains in my body. He pointed to the pain in my body, showed me what childhood trauma it relates to. He showed me all the damage to my body from the food I ate in the past, how that little pain I always feel at the back of my ear, is from the mcdonalds I had as a kid. He picked up that pain, and showed me the mcdonalds remainders. He showed me what it was like to be a shaman. How to be a proper shaman, its about letting go of all your thoughts, and loving what arises. Being in flow with nature, the environment, other people, and just submitting to the present moment on a deep level. The trip ended on a good note. What I learnt - no matter what I do in life, I'll never be happy and get what I want. No matter what career, relationship, etc I get, it will never make me happy. What will truly make me happy, is learning to love whatever arises. I've been shown, proven, QED to the max, that my point in life, is to love everything. Absolutely everything. And the most counter intuitive, and amazing thing I've been shown in this entire trip, is what I always wanted in my career, relationships and spirituality, wasn't attaining love or happiness, but was the capacity to love whatever I end up attaining. Its the capacity, not the attainment, that I always wanted. And that I now will always strive for in my life. And that's radically changed my views of my career and dating. And its radically changed how I see events that happen to me. I see them now not as mistakes, or accidents, or problems or issues. I now see them as an opportunity to create what I truly want: capacity to love. - Capacity for love is enormous. Things you thought you could never ever love, are possible to love. And you should always try to, because odds are, its possible. - Love is the answer to healing. To heal your body, mind and spirit, the most fundamental, and essential element to that healing, is to love those parts of your body and mind and soul. You can do western medicine, nootropics, ayurveda or vasi healing, but if you don't firstly love the areas of your life you're trying to heal before doing all the things in the above, then its like you're building a roof before the concrete. And in a lot of cases, especially mental, just loving itself is curative. - I think the most amazing thing about this trip, was how it radically changed from being hell to being paradise, all from me just choosing to love and to see what was happening in positive light. That trip at the beginning, had more suffering that I think I experienced when I was getting severely bullied in high school. And to see how it changed just from my attitude... wow. Just fucken wow. I so amazed at how an attitude, is such a key, the key, in being happy. I'll never ever forget that experience, and forget what attitude, acceptance and love really is. All it took for me to love this trip, was a moment. It didnt take a fancy car, girlfriend, some meditation pose, delicious food... All it took was a moment. Was a state of mind. Just a state where i accepted what happened. And what this trip showed me, is the best thing, the only real thing my career, relationships and spirituality can offer me, is a moment. Think about the times you were happiest in your career. It wasn't the money itself, it wasn't the body movements of typing at the keyboard, the only, and greatest thing your career can give you, is a moment. A moment where you're blissful, accepting reality, peaceful. That's what the money gives you, or pretends to give you, is that moment. The best part of your relationship? That moment, during sex or watching tv with her/him. Its that moment of bliss, peace and acceptance. Its something which, you have the power to attain right now, not by earning lots of money, buying stuff, attaining skills. Its simply attained by your attitude, an attitude to love and accept. So why, why grind through life, go through hell working 2 jobs, talking to shitty girlfriends, having a hard time with the self hurt and pain of pickup, going through all that, just to attain that future, special moment, a moment which you already have, right now, all the time, as part of living consciousness itself. Why not just enjoy the moment now? Instead of choosing to only enjoy it after years of pain and hardship? You already have what you seek, and will ultimately get anyway. The best you can get from your career, relationships or spirituality, is the moment, is the now. Just enjoy the now.

What's so wrong with getting girls? Yes yes.. The classic renunciationists... Yes.. Sex is distraction... Woman is for perverts. Here I'll give you my perspective, I don't think renunciation and celibacy is wrong, but being with Woman is Man's way of manifesting God in existence, by, making love. Anyway, if that's your bliss, and you're not harming anyone. Dude go all the way. I think you already understand that it's important to live through these experiences and fulfill the dreams that you have. You're doing great mate, continue rocking. The trick is that you were always enough for it! Now you just gotta prove it to yourself. So find some methods that work for you. Mirror eye gazing or with a partner really helps break down and loosen up the areas in which you are still uncomfortable in. Do like 15-30 minutes of that. It gives you insane confidence afterwards, and it also gives you siddhis, but don't abuse or use those at all, they're distractions.

Hello guys, last saturday I’ve had my third psilocybin experience. I’ll try to keep it short, while still carefully trying to describe the important aspects of the trip. I won’t go into the unnecessary details, like taking a walk on the beach. Set: Happy me, looking forward to go into the psilocybin world once more – this time, way calmer than the last trip. I was very chill about it, didn’t wait hungrily for the trip to start and just smoothly going into it. Setting: Vacation at the beach in the Netherlands. I was on a weekend trip (ha!) with two of my best friends. One was tripping with me, the other one was tripsitting. We took them at 1:30pm. That’s the only timestamp I will give because a) We didn’t look at the time a lot b) My trip report will be a mix of: the experience I had + the conclusions I made afterwards. I was actually really confused over the course of the whole trip and everything made sense only afterwards. During the trip I realized that I couldn’t make sense of it, so I was just going with it and floating. But you’ll see. It was really mindbending. Dose: We took magic truffles. I had the strongest ones with a 6/5 stars rating and took about 11,25g of it. Unfortunately, I can’t tell what that dose is translated to magic mushrooms. The sort was called “Valhalla”. Intentions: My top intention is always, that I let the psychedelics teach me what they have to teach me. Secondary intentions were resolving my bladder issues (which I will be getting to) and questions around almost every issue you could have with a blocked throat chakra. Problems in authenticity, self-expression, communication, truth, honesty, (self-) acceptance, social anxiety and social blockages. There will also be a short post-trip report from the days after the trip, because my subconscious mind was flushed heavily, and I became conscious of many psychological ailments. To the trip: The first sensations were just that I noticed that the psilocybin was beginning the workings on me. There’s always a certain calmness and awareness that comes with it. But soon, a heavy body load started to emerge. My whole body was starting to tense up really hard. I’m not quite sure whether the tensions appeared because of the psilocybin or because my whole body was actually tense the whole time, and I just then became aware of it through heightened consciousness. It was quite uncomfortable, breathing became a little bit weird and my thoughts also started to twist a little bit. But I knew that this is just a part of it, so I let the tensions run through, without fighting them. Just accepting them. After about 30-40mins, my friend and I said: “Yep. It’s kicking in.” As we walked down the beach, my body started to become really loose and the tensions would vanish. The initial high I had from the truffles made me really social and talking became effortless and fun. The trip was becoming more and more intense, visuals started to appear ever more brightly, and we decided that we better settle down somewhere at the beach near the campground. Human behavior became more and more alien. It was really hard to “act normal”, even though we just had to walk. In an instant, we arrived at our destination. The few hundred meters we had to walk passed by within moments. We put on some music, laid down, closed our eyes and let the journey begin. That’s when the real trip really began. I relaxed more, and more, and more, and more. I was in a state of deep beingness. Eventually, the beings which I met at my last psilocybin trip (30g of 5/5 star rated truffles; sort: “Hollandia”; should estimate between 2.7-3.7g of magic mushrooms; this time I went actually even deeper) welcomed me. Just like the last time, they were dragging me with their hands deeper in their realm. The difference being, where as I interpreted the hands dragging me deeper in, as an “Come, we will show you our world”, this time I understood it as an invitation to higher realms of existence – even without the help of psychedelics. I even received a gift, which would transform my meditation practice. But I’m getting ahead of myself. With eyes closed, I was getting dragged deeper and deeper into Beingness. The beings danced in front of me, overflooding me with joy and love. I welcomed them too with all of my hearts love. I experienced bliss and calmness beyond what I could imagine. Actually, I was leaving imagination. I understood how this “place” was realer than “ordinary reality”. Now this is a key point: understanding. With that Beingness, there came a deep deep understanding and recognition, beyond ego. This is the mindbending part, which I as an ego, couldn’t understand during the trip and can’t understand after the trip. During the trip, my ego tried to make sense of it. I was jumping between understanding beingness and ego. When I resided as the witness, I understood. When I tried to understand it from my ego’s POV it was utterly mindbending and confusing. And that’s the key insight right there. To have an understanding of higher planes of existence, I have to let go of ego, trying to understand. Understanding is not something you have to figure out. It simply comes, when you stop trying to understand and just be. I understood, how that was a part of the ego’s chains around me. I understood that this was the reason, why I couldn’t access those realms during my “sober” meditation practice. I understood that existence and the understanding of it, is effortless. It’s so funny that we, as meditating ego’s and consciousnesses, have to give so much effort into this effortless state. Kind of strange-loopy, right? That was the point where dualities started to break down and ego became more and more confused. We are now getting into territories, where it’s really hard for me to report this “experience”, which cannot be labeled as such. So now, it will likely become inaccurate and gaps of explanation will appear. My ego just couldn’t make any sense of it. And still doesn’t. And probably never will. As I was jumping between understanding and ego, every time ego showed up, I just loved it unconditionally and didn’t criticize it for not understanding, nor did I care to identify with the confused ego. While that happened, I was still somehow able to think of meditative teachings and why one should not identify with ego. I thought of Leo too and thought “You sneaky thing you! I know you told me that it was mindbending! And I expected it to be mindbending! But damn!”. In my minds eye, I just saw him laughing and I was laughing with him. The laugh of understanding and how hilarious ego’s games can be! When ego was like “What??? How??? I don’t understand!! I can’t explain it with words! It doesn’t make sense!” it was simultaneously understanding it’s limits. I guess, that’s why it’s so damn important to meditate beforehand, read spiritual teachings and so forth. During that, I saw the possibility of completely losing the mind in a negative way, not a positive. Fortunately, I shaped my ego in a way, that it can reside when it needs to. Ego me said: “Shit! I don’t understand, but that’s what I’ve heard so far from teachings. Guess I’ll just stop trying to understand it.” Ego had absolutely no frame of reference. Beingness me said: Nothing. Just understanding, loving. So while some of these words may seem like an internal war, it really wasn’t. I quickly grasped what was going on and just surrendered. For Beingness, it was not mindbending. It was just ever understanding and self-recognizing. It was only for ego, that it was mindbending. When I realized the understanding which comes with effortless being and existing, it was so self-evident. I was like “Oooohhhhh hold on. This is nothing which I don’t know! Hold the fuck on! I overlooked this the whole time! I was totally buying into “ordinary reality”. Goddamn, hold on! Did I even look around me, just once, while the veils of ego was all around me?! How could I not see this? How could I be so blind? It was always right here! Right with me! But of course, if I identify as ego, it’s impossible for me to understand! It’s impossible, because I am not ego! Now I see through the illusion. It’s crystal clear and can’t be overlooked!”. In retrospect, it was really practical that I jumped back and forth between ego and a more refined awareness – I could see, how ego is desperately trying to make sense of things, which it cannot. Now I understand on a deeper level (certainly not the deepest) how ego’s mechanisms work. And how literal some of the spiritual teachings are! And how blind I am as an ego! So much for metaphysics (if this is metaphysics). Now, the gift which I received from the interdimensional beings or the psilocybin intelligence, call it whatever you want, is the following: Meditation is tuning in, to what is. That’s it! So simple! Anything beyond it is already way too much of words. Actually, those words themselves are not quite right and rather false, but they are a pointer, which I could understand, and I can now apply to my meditation practice (even though I’ve heard those words before, and I understood them on a lower level, now I can apply this teaching way better). The problem with this teaching is, that it implies, that “tuning in” is effortful, when it is not. When you tune in, there is literally zero effort. It is beyond effort. Now, whenever I meditate, I can take away a huge part of the effort – but of course, ego has still it’s grips on me. It’s practical nevertheless, because when I’m in Parvastha (= after effects of Kriya Yoga which result in Love and Beingness) I can now consciously shut off ego’s effort and go beyond it more than before. Not psilocybin level effortlessness obviously, but I’m getting at it. Currently teaching ego not to interfere. It’s just that shutting off of interference which seemingly equates with the effortful part. It’s also practical, because I can now watch ego more closely, when it’s doing what it does – surviving, making sense. Whenever I lose myself in the blissful after effects of Kriya Yoga, ego catches up, and sort of fishes the awareness out of context-free awareness. Does that make sense? Back to the trip. I just realized that I’m not reporting chronologically at all, but whatever. Not bad. As I was interfering with the psilocybin intelligence/interdimensional beings, I spoke to it/them (the previous time I saw them, I was so blasted away that I was laughing for 45 mins straight, “lost contact” with the intelligence and came back to “ordinary reality” – thus couldn’t speak to them, even though I wanted to address the exact same issue with my bladder!). I asked them: “Now that I’m able to speak to you, why do I have the problems in my bladder, which the doctors couldn’t solve? I’m having these bladder problems since 3 years, turned every stone I could find in my subconscious mind, turned my whole life upside down to the positive, resolved so many psychological issues, but still struggle with my bladder!” *bladder problem appears* “Hey, do you see this? I’m talking exactly about this! Why does this happen?” I received no answer, but in retrospect I understand how the intelligence was communicating to me. Right after I asked the question and opened my eyes (me and my friend were rotating between eyes-closed and understanding mode & opening the eyes from time to time, talking, interacting with reality a bit). I can’t remember anymore whether this occurred when I opened my eyes for the first time, but it would make sense. Suddenly, I had a very strong social anxiety towards my closest friends. I saw how my social interaction was driven to a large part by fear, robotic behavior and inauthenticity. It was not comfortable, but I accepted it. I knew that this was not the time to resolve this issue. This is something I have to take home and work on. So I didn’t fight it. This also really confused my ego, because I began to question “Am I always like this? No this is not how I am. But it is in me. Wait this is how I am. No this is not how I am.” and so on. I realized that the intelligence was trying to show me something – my fears. Throughout the trip, blockages in the throat chakra were noticed in a scattered way. Every once in a while, I saw how Vishuddha is having major blockages (In the sober state, I wasn’t sure, whether these blockages where for real or not). So this was in a way, a very assuring trip: it assured me that I’m on the right path. You have to know, that I’m walking my path with a major insecurity towards the question: Am I really doing the right things? Am I working on the right stuff? (Especially in regards towards my bladder, because the dysfunction there is really affecting my life in a very annoying way). Why was this assuring? (Quick note: as I was beginning to work around the causes of my blocked throat chakra, my bladder issues already started to withdraw a little bit; my psychologist [I see everything as the universe talking to me] also assured me, that I’m on a good way) I asked the intelligence, why I was having bladder problems and it showed me my fears in relation to issues, that come with a blocked throat chakra. Now, the blocked throat chakra is not the problem. The problem lies first and foremost within my deep inauthenticity. Out of that core issue, all the other issues in my life stem: communication, social anxiety, inability to express what I really feel, major emotional blockages, dishonesty and falsity, putting on a mask which I confused for my authentic self and so on. This is actually the post trip part. Today, four days after the trip, I cried for the first time in years while meditating. I experience major emotional releases. Yesterday I realized this issue really deeply. There were events, which triggered this huge emotional release. The pain of inauthenticity starts to grow bigger than facing truth and working through, what I have to work through. It’s a very painful process, but at the same time I know, that it will be hugely liberating. Post-Trip time is still very recent, and I expect more subconscious emotional flushes, but at this point, I’m pretty sure that this is the core issue, which I was looking for in years. There’s just this deep knowing that this is it. When I was working before on my bladder problems and psychological issues, there was this big insecurity whether this will give me the solution I’m seeking for my current level of development. But now this big insecurity transformed into major trust into myself, the universe and everything that will happen from now on. I know that I’m in good hands. I just have to play my part and things will fall into place. Congratulations, you’ve made it to the end of this very messy trip report! I actually wanted to post it in a more structured form, but I feel that the raw, unpolished, probably detail-missing version hits home. So please excuse this potentially inscrutable report! I spare you further stories of my confused ego and disorientation in reality. Now that I write this, I remember that I actually really wanted to talk about the major confusion with dualities and polarities and the mindfucks and the funny things that happened in regards to that! Whatever. Thank you for reading! Much love

I do really like this and I very much lean towards this being a good explanation. I just wish it wasn't the case. I want utopia and pure bliss for infinite lifetimes. Wahhh. Damn your good man. I'll think deeply on this one. I honestly just tried rearranging your wording to make it more positive but it doesn't make sense for example; God can see himself through joy. There is something without suffering. Something = joy. In the moment that something arise from Nothing, that thing arise as joy. I mean it could make sense and it would be nice if it did but it's not the reality we face scientifically. So therefore it doesn't make sense. What if I just stop believing I have a brain and and disregard science. Maybe then it would be able to make sense. Fuck this thread. I'm going insane. I'll end up getting sectioned at this rate.

I have watched the video more than twice. It was excellent! And, I have many questions than I need direct answers for. Like what is Nothingness? What is Infinite Intelligence? What is Absolute Infinity? But, words are tricky and the mind gets attached to the concept of these words, which I am sure are not anywhere remotely close to the actual experience itself. The only facets I am aware of are - Absolute Love, Absolute Bliss, Oneness, Consciousness/Awareness as the substance of reality, no self, and timelessness. There's much more to find out.

I am disappointed in the lack of interest in this thread. I've been thinking about this still and can recall how the Dalai Lama speaks of how we should have acceptance of suffering and I think I'd take his word over it more than one who says something along the lines of suffering only exists because I say so. I'm starting to wonder whether insights such as god is love is really the truth, I feel it from time to time, I could be much more comfortable with reality if I just thought that ignorance was bliss but suffering does exist and horrible things happen to people and I feel it is important and more enlightening to be aware of suffering. How can god be love when things like I mentioned in the original post can happen and things like the holocaust have happened. People say that they make contact or become god via the use of psychedelics, what about when they have a bad trip? Is that not god too. I feel as pretty much everyone who is interested in deeper insight and enlightenment is ignorant of the dark side of reality, all this talk of god being love and such may be true but what if god is evil too? I've just remembered a quote from a book I read and googled it to find it and it is very relative (fantastic book by the way); “So, monotheism explains order, but is mystified by evil. Dualism explains evil, but is puzzled by order. There is one logical way of solving the riddle: to argue that there is a single omnipotent God who created the entire universe – and He’s evil. But nobody in history has had the stomach for such a belief.” ― Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind I'm not expecting answers but just some ideas at least! Sorry but I felt the need to bump this thread as I need ideas. I've read guidelines and have noted that I am allowed to do so along it is not excessive. Please let me know how many times I can before it becomes excessive.

You didn't bother to understand what I meant with spacetime and merging with reality, so explaining this further is pointless since you consider "seeking for higher states" is pointless and that there are 0 dimensions lol *ignorance is bliss*. Totally arrogant and ignorant reaction from your side and you expect a 'high consciousness attitude' with these replies? If you have no idea what 4d means, then don't talk bullshit and try to contemplate more. Simple as that.

@Dodo I don't need your directions, mr 'ignorance is bliss'. You obviously have no idea what 4th dimension is. I'm done arguing with idiots.

Here's a profound nde. The guys who had a bad time in the void should give it a read. Maybe there's more to this.. In that moment of impact, I felt my whole body lift up, fly forward with great force, and hitting something. Next thing I knew, I was seeing this white stream of Light, travelling inside my body, which was also filled with a brilliant electric white Light! It looked like light travelling in light. As I looked at this moving light energy, I realized I was also experiencing it. This powerful, white energy which was moving from my solar plexus towards the top of my head. I was moving very fast. Yet, simultaneously, I appeared to be moving very slowly. Somehow, it seemed very natural for my movement to be slow and fast at the same time. Was I in perfect balance? There was no sense of duality. I knew that this light energy was my Prana, otherwise called life force. The Prana was moving upwards through my body, almost as if being pulled by some sort of magnetic power above my head. Just then, I experienced a sinking feeling, very much like one feels when beginning the plunge down a roller coaster. I felt myself go into a gentle convulsion with an upward movement. The next moment it was all gone. There was no light, no body, or anything. It was the strangest feeling, and yet so familiar. It was as though I had before experienced it many times. Without the body, I found myself floating alone in a dark void. I was totally confused as to where I was and what was really happening. All I could see was total darkness everywhere, but I wasn't afraid. At a distance, I saw a pale golden vehicle-like thing in the shape of a small boat. The boat was brilliant in its golden hue and it was coming towards me. The center hollow portion of this golden boat seemed to be filled with that same shimmering, brilliant white light I had seen inside my body. As it moved closer, I could see in the center on its ‘bed’ of white Light there was a very ethereal human body. The body was lying very still on its back, draped in a pale golden gown and glowing gloriously in the dark night. It was a magnificent sight to behold! As it came closer, my entire being went into shock when I saw the face of this body. It was me. 'Oh my God', I realized, 'I am dead.' I was completely jolted by this truth. I looked at myself for the first time and saw I had no body. I was just a spark of Light and was now linked to this sparkling boat. Almost immediately, the golden boat tilted upwards with the feet of the motionless body pointing upwards and head below it. The boat transported me faster than the speed of light, almost like a thunderbolt slicing through the dark night and disappearing into that void. Almost as if I had fully woken up after a long sleep, I found myself surrounded by an All-Pervasive Brilliance. There was no boat, no body structure, no dark void, nothing. There was only this dazzling, electrifying, brilliant white Light all around. The light was everywhere. There was nothing except this brilliant Consciousness! It seemed to have a consistency of the ever-finest, minutest electric-like sparkles and was energetically similar to the ‘bed of Light’ I had come on, except that this light was all-pervasive, limitless. It could perhaps be compared to the light of thousands of brilliant stars reflected in millions of sparkling diamonds, all-encompassing, self-luminous, and pulsating with electric energy: very delicate and smooth. I seemed to know that the light was the Supreme Infinite Light that is God, the Cosmic Consciousness. It is truly impossible to describe in mere mortal words, this Pure Love, this vital energy, this infinite Light, this Supreme Absolute Consciousness, This Presence, which is commonly referred to by most of humanity as God or the Creator: it can only be experienced! So please forgive my humble effort with limited vocabulary to try and share what I experienced. At this moment, I was literally standing on air and was an electric body of Light. I was in this dazzling white void, this Brilliant Nothingness, filled with comfort, delight, and a deep knowing that I had reached my destination. I seemed to know that this was the Ultimate White Effulgent Light. Experiencing myself as a shimmering sparkling white-light energy, pulsating with some kind of ethereal (ether-real!) electric life force, my Being was flooded with a gentle, very expansive Love energy. The energy was like a soft embrace from that all-encompassing Light Presence! This Light Presence of pure, unconditional Love seemed to be in me and around me. It was all-pervasive and extended into infinity. Strangely, there seemed to be no difference between this light and my Light-being. Even more bewildering, was that this Conscious Loving Presence, seemed to be the nature and substance of all of existence. In sheer delight, my Light-self was almost skipping in the air as a further wave of knowing passed through me. I whispered to myself, ‘This is the real me!’ In complete wonderment, with a sense of déjà vu and awe, I heard myself say, ‘I know this place, I know this place. I've been here before. I made it. I finally made it back!’ Drinking in the nectar of the Loving Presence which enfolded me, I saw with complete amazement a very interesting transference starting to happen. There was a string of atoms starting to flow out from within the left side of my electric body and they disappeared upwards into nowhere. Almost as if from thin air, a much finer frequency of atoms seemed to be appear and were entering through my right side into this same electric light body. I was watching and experiencing at the same time, again with no sense of duality. My entire Being was being totally emptied, refueled, and re-programmed with this ethereal, orderly, interchange of atoms. I saw that the new entry was made of a vastly different energy and seemed to have a much more expansive and delicate DNA energy. It had a new wave of very lightweight, subtle cellular frequencies, as they spiraled in, expanding and changing the previous electric body formation. All of the above was happening very fast and yet it seemed to take an eternity. Enfolded in the comforting wrap of Pure Divine Love during this cellular exchange, it seemed as though I was gradually disappearing with the atoms leaving this electric Light body. Almost as if, another ‘me’ was birthing through the newer, finer atoms entering into this Light form. My whole being was cleansed and purified, making it ready for its next role in God’s divine drama. I wished to take a final look and say goodbye to the world I had just left behind. I looked over behind my non-existent shoulder, somehow expecting to see my world; but, to my complete shock, I saw that there was nothing there. My earthly world didn't seem to exist! There was no world, no universe, no galaxy, no earth, nothing! Nothing existed, except this soft Conscious Presence, this pulsating Brilliance, this pure Love that was everywhere as all pure white Light. ‘Oh my God, how could that be?!’ I exclaimed to myself. ‘Where has it gone? What about all I went through as Arti? It was all real! How could it have just disappeared?’ A gentle response seemed to come from the cosmic wisdom that was all around, ‘But how could it be Real, when it has just disappeared?’ There was so much knowledge that was shared with me that I can't share it all here. The response said, ‘What is real is only that which is permanent and changeless. That which changes, is within the mirage of time, and truly non-existent. Consciousness, however, as a gentle, delicate, smooth, flowing Presence is ever present; even within the human form, above and beyond the mind, as it is the Experience-less-ness underlying all experience. It never changes, never disappears, and it is therefore, the only Reality.’ I asked, ‘But if this Consciousness alone is real, the world was an illusion? Then where did it come from?’ It replied, ‘Like all manifestation, the world too is the creation of the great illusion or great delusion, which being the Creative aspect of this Supreme Consciousness, or the Lord, is the divine movie-projector of life, in the all-powerful play of the realm of Creation. Just as a mirage in the desert disappears when viewed from a certain perspective, your life as Arti on earth has disappeared, when viewed from the perspective of the Divine Self, where you are now. Only the eternal is real; and from the viewpoint of that Reality, all that is non-eternal, disappears. Yet of course, you, being eternal Atman (the soul) can still view the ‘world of illusion’ if you wish.’ I asked, ‘So my life as Arti never really existed at all, it was an illusion?’ It replied, ‘Oh, it existed; just as a dream exists, or a movie, or a mirage.’ I continued questioning, ‘So the world, was just a figment of my imagination? How did I create it? With my thoughts and desires?’ The reply echoed all around me, ‘Y-e-s-s-s-s!’ as it reverberated within my being. Y e s: I understood now. The world had all been only in my mind, a thought-and-senses created illusion/delusion. Without the senses, mind and body, there was now no ego to perceive the world illusion! It had all existed and happened only in my mind! Our true reality exists outside of the mind, which is where I was at the present moment. I realized the true vastness of my Being and the minuscule nature of the cage of the earthly body. The roles I had played through the many lifetime dramas with different bodies, flashed again into knowing. I smiled, seeing there was absolutely no attachment whatsoever to any of them! How could I, when it was just a play of mind? I had come to terms with the fact that once I, my ego consciousness, left the body, my mind-created world also disappeared. Universal laws seemed to unfold rapidly and poured into my entire electric-wave body. I realized that the real goal of the mind-created life game was to remove the veil of delusion and ignorance and reach the Ultimate Truth of one's reality in life itself. This Truth, this Self I was bathing in and which had encompassed my Being, was nothing but Love. The Truth was Love; pure, unconditional, Universal Love, that is almost non-achievable in human terms. It was the fabric of this Consciousness of which I was a part. Yes, because Love is God and God is Love. It was very clear that the cosmic composition was made up of nothing but Love! Love is the God-glue that is holding ‘All’ together. I realized I was not just inside the Love but rather, one with 'It', this Universal Body of Love, of God. This was completely natural to me, as flame is to fire because it is fire. This was Home and I wanted to be here forever. Immediately with the emergence of this thought-wish, the ego-wave that was Arti, seemed to gracefully meld into the Supreme Presence, dissolving into that Ocean of Love. Arti as the earthly Arti, was no more. An incredible wave of freedom splashed over my being, almost like coming out scrubbed fresh and clean after a long overdue bath. The cellular interchange of atoms with their spiraling exit and entry had stopped because re-programming of my electric light body was completed. I was birthing a new life later known as Mira S. I knew without a doubt that life on earth was just a playground of experience, an assignment from God, a mirror projection of the Divine. In each new lifetime, as the soul makes spiritual progress, its vibrational frequency gets tuned to a faster, higher and finer level depending upon its degree of evolution. The transformation continues until the frequency level is fine-tuned to such a degree that it connects with the frequency of the Cosmos itself, which then allows it to gain entry into Cosmic Consciousness, one’s true self, which is eternal bliss, otherwise known as ananda. In the Light Presence, everything and anything could be readily created or manifested. It was in the Nature of this Supreme Presence. Everyone and everything, anywhere, was right here where I was, present in the seemingly invisible NOW. One just had to think it, and it was available. The transformation-transmutation within my electric body being completed, the electric body too, was no more visible because there was complete Oneness. It was infinite to such a degree that I was no more, and yet I was that Consciousness. There was nothing else and No other. Oh dear God, That is all that exists, the only 'Being' that is! That Consciousness was all around, inside, outside, above, below. It was everywhere! The ALL! As one touched by the Philosopher’s stone, which is said to transform iron into gold, I had gone through a complete transformation and transmutation of the previous self into birthing a new higher self. I was bringing with it an immediate awakening into the ‘knowing’ of Universal Truths and the Reality of Supreme Self. This magnificent All-pervasive Effulgence was so glorious! It was true, there is only one Being, one God, and THAT is the true Self of all. All are just a reflection of God: All are That One. I, too, was That One. THAT is my Reality. I was brimming, overflowing with the supreme knowing that The Supreme Being is my own true Self, my true identity. It was here, now, and always. There is no past or future; it is all happening constantly in the now. Losing it all, dissolving, I was, ‘I AM THAT I AM’ (Aham Brahmasmi) I knew that I was and I AM all there was to know! Just like myself, all of creation wherever and however it existed; whether human, animal, mammal, plant, or nature, all were full in themselves. All were and are God, a beautiful glorious expression of that same Fullness. Creation was just Divinity experiencing itself through Its Creation!! I was bathing in Consciousness, as Consciousness. I was enjoying this bliss of Union with the Absolute, Divine Self, God, and Full with wholeness of Being. I wanted only to remain as this Cosmic Being forever. I never want to be separate again from this Oneness, this All-encompassing Love! This was my feeling, as a faint memory of the world of separateness wafted into my consciousness and anxiousness seemed to take over all of a sudden. I heard myself repeat twice, ‘Where do I go from here? Where do I go from here?’ By the formation of destiny, which is created by our actions and reactions, the newly transformed Being of myself now in existence, having received a downpour of higher Truths and realizing its Higher Self from having merged in Oneness with It. I knew that it had been brought within and as, the pure energy of That One, of pure white Light for a reason, so an element of wonderment was there at what might be coming next? Much to my dismay, however, the All-Pervasive KNOWING came through with a much different response than what I was expecting. Coming loud and clear, It reverberated through that infinite space of Consciousness, ‘You have to go back. You have to do the Work’ communicating that my real work on Earth was to begin now. I called out, ‘Please I don't want to go back! I'm very happy here!!’ But the Lord, Supreme Consciousness had spoken, and it had to be. Right then, I saw a long flexible kind of tunnel which almost looked like a huge hollow umbilical cord. I could actually see the outside and inside of it. Inside it I saw the form of an unborn human baby, with golden, light-colored skin, curled up like a fetus against the inner wall. 'So this is the Cosmic Womb Tunnel,' I thought. It seemed to be coming from infinity and spiraling downwards. But as I looked at it carefully, I exclaimed in alarm, ‘Oh no, not again!’ when I realized that I was that baby, speeding down headfirst, as the curled-up fetus in this cosmic tunnel-like womb, I was crossing the dimensional barriers. I thought, 'Oh God, oh no, I really was going back into Earth consciousness to be reborn!' Next thing I knew, I heard myself let out a cry. I had opened my human eyes. They were looking in the rear view mirror of a car at a mouth bleeding profusely with the whole lower face covered in blood. In a complete daze, feeling totally disoriented, I touched the face in the mirror and realized it was my mouth! I thought, 'Oh God, I have a human body again! I really am back.' The lower gum-bone had been broken and lay flat on my tongue. The four lower front teeth had come out of their gum sockets but were still held by their nerves as they sat on my tongue in the middle of the mouth. Upon touching my face, I could feel tiny particles of glass from the shattered windshield all over my upper face and even my eyelashes, but none, not one, had entered my eyes. Miraculously, despite this gruesome injury in my mouth, I was feeling no pain whatsoever. There was no physical feeling at all. Such was the amazing divine compassion of the Lord! It seemed God had sent me back with the powerful anesthetic of His All-pervasive Cosmic Energy, which was keeping me unaware of any pain. I was still consumed within the Awareness of that bliss of Cosmic Consciousness, His Pure Love energy, and still immersed in that glorious realm of Light, and that Oneness.

Do breakthroughs like thoughts are not my happening in my head, time is an illusion (this was clear during awakening), experience is what the we/Universe/God creates instead of what happens to us, and so on should always accompany an awakening? Or, they can hit you after post-awakening also? Because I am not sure whether I am just making it all up or these are in fact breakthroughs. The original awakening, however, was drastically different that was filled with energy, Love, Bliss, temporary dropping of ego, and realization of One Being.

Thanks! I just watched some John Rose on YT and he recommended enemas to those that are constipated, a bowel movement per day is a must. I feel that my intestines are clogged up, when i drink juice, everything starts to bubble and move in my belly but nothing goes out. This is a sign about how bad i need this. Can you tell my a little more about how you feel when you are able to expel old fecal matter and mucoid plaque? The only time i expelled a mucoid plaque, it was huge and i felt an immense feeling of relief and bliss for several minutes to an hour.

@Meditationdude Everyone is different in estimation indeed, but no Individual has consciousness, and therefore no individual can raise it. That consciousness is a product or output of a human is a finite human level belief about that which is appearing as the human & world. Consciousness does not have properties, like ‘raisability’. I understand the pointing phrasing of this, but your specifically asking about this because of the feeling of concern. The relief from that concern is the exact inverse of an understanding of consciousness as it relates to suffering. The feeling of concern is indicative of the misunderstanding, rather than an actuality or potential of having ‘too much’ consciousness. That is like worrying you will have too much love, peace of mind, and bliss. Consciousness is not a possession, or something a you has, but rather is the infinitude you actually are. An insight can be realized in the understanding of the profound difference in experience this implicates. Fully reversed in perspective and understanding, what you’re experiencing is revealed to be the sneakiness of thinking. By the claiming of infinity by the apparent finite mind, the illusory sense of the finite separate self is perpetuated & the veil is strengthened. What could be described to be experienced is the letting go of beliefs about ourself & world. In that sense consciousness could be said to be experienced as ‘filling in’, arising, or floating very much like a cork you didn’t know you were holding underwater, which, free of the ‘holding down’ of beliefs, simply floats as it always has and always will, whenever ‘we’ ‘let go’, or focus on perspectives that resonate with our being. Upon the actuality of that experience, and of the continued inspection, scrutiny & letting go of beliefs and self misunderstanding, I believe you will agree that this floating is very much like flying, and or again, effortlessness. So ultimately, thinking is not something, and is not then to be thought of as reliable or trustworthy. Having said all that, I believe you are now or will soon be recognizing the answer to your question is present and guiding via feeling. Above all thinking, ‘follow’ that gratitude & joy. It is not random, or coincidental that there is gratitude & joy. Because infinite can not know finite, there is only to let go of our misunderstandings & misperceptions, from having forgotten what we really are.

I've just watched Leo guras videos on ego development stages. As of lately I've been spending a considerable amount of time being unitive and I think I awakened some time ago. I have hundreds maybe a thousand of hours into spirituality/phycology/myself so I am pretty grounded. My text is serious and I'm not fearful so don't see this as the avarage student that want to drop out. I go to school and it's very difficult right now. I spent let's say 30 minutes living in non duality and bliss, then I tried to study. I felt so much suffering and it was very difficult. I feel like I have two main options, to let my ego play through these two school years and unfulfilling work thereafter. Or quit school and own nothing but a van to sleep and food to eat, with some part time job caring for peoples animals, children, being a paperboy, get a certain car truck license so that I can work in a facility or something else. Just work that will make me survive. That work would also be pretty satisfying because I could be at a blissful state during manual labor when they can't control my mind. Then I could remain blissful 80% of my days compared to a very low percentage in school. What do you guys think about this? Is it a good idea? Any advice? I know about ego and survival etc and have contemplated this for almost a hundred hours years earlier in my spiritual work so I know of the risks etc. It's only now at the unitive stage that I can consider this option for my life. Get Leo gura to read this if you can help. Thank you sincerely for reading my text? Btw im 17 year old and Swedish. I've not written all peices of the puzzle so try to imagine being me and I only want advice especially from unitive people - that's the whole point with this text because otherwise you can't really grasp what I'm writing about.