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Its probably the breath of fire that makes you feel that way. Continue until you feel energy doing weird stuff in your Body, this strange energy awakened my Kundalini. You can also try the Wim Hoff method, its even stronger than the breath of fire.

Because if you want to play the game of survival you need money? Awakening doesn't mean you stop living, the opposite in fact. It's when you truly start living. Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water; After enlightenment chop wood and carry water. People like to think when they awaken they will become 'above human' 'superhuman' or some other absolute BS. In fact, a true awakening is when you become more human than ever before. You realize that while you live as The Self, you still live as a unique expression of The Self as a human. And, as that human, you will have a personality, interests, likes, family, friends, a job probably etc and will be completely unique to anyone else. Awakening allows you to realize what you truly are is Natural Pure Awareness, The Absolute, God, whatever you want to call it and yes you abide as this. However, you are awareness experiencing itself as a unique human, so if you deny this you are literally denying life. If you try to become an emotionless robot who has no interests and no personality you are simply rejecting Duality. (In reality Duality and Non-Duality are literally the same thing but that's for another post) So, this whole money BS is basically people projecting that Enlightened people either are or see themselves as superior, which isn't the case, well some teachers do like to see themselves as superior. In reality, NOBODY is ever enlightened because a person can't become enlightened, and those that say they are, may well be, but are not fully Self-Realized. In reality, EVERYONE is merely The Absolute, however, 99.9% of people have no idea of this and are completely oblivious to it. You are not superior because you're awake, in fact, a true awakening is very humbling, as you realize literally everyone and everything is your very self, how could you be superior? Therefore, yes you are also still having a human experience, and unless you don't want to live in the society you will need money to function. It's also such a backward question, wouldn't you rather conscious, good people became millionaires/ billionaires by actually creating true value and weren't exploiting people, instead of the many unconscious wealthy individuals we have. The problem is a lot of awakened beings often ditch society and I don't blame them, however, it means those in power are far from awake or conscious and look what we have created. Imagine conscious people in politics, business, in normal jobs, sports, etc imagine how much better things would be. So, to answer your question after that rant, you could simply say, Awakening doesn't make me/someone special, in fact it shows how all humans are merely God/ The Absolute/ The Self, and it doesn't mean I'm no longer (Insert Name) or no longer a Human. I still have a personality and have what makes me human. However, it means I abide and operate from a place of truth and love, and from this place, I would be much more conscious in my actions and wouldn't con people out of money. Wouldn't it be better if we had, good and loving people who wanted to push humanity forward in charge of big businesses and in important positions instead of the corrupt, greedy and power-hungry people we see today?' Also, please don't demonize money on your journey, all you will do is create a shadow issue around money that will prevent you from making money and create blockages in your life. Money is simply an energy, just because those that have the most are usually quite corrupt doesn't mean money itself is evil. Money is a tool that can be used for the greatest reasons or for the worst reasons. Be conscious earning and spending money, and always be grateful for what you have, when you buy something, and when you earn money, this helps create a welcoming environment where you can become wealthy. (you'll still have to work for it, I'm not saying you can simply magic up billions) Sorry for the long post, but this is a common issue and one that affected me for a while, I thought I couldn't be spiritual and run a business, it's complete BS!

Yes I agree he is a great teacher and explains things very well. I used to believe it was important that I helped people wake up... like it was the destiny of the human race to all become awakened. I no longer hold these beliefs... if Awakening occurs it occurs if it doesn't it doesn't either way it does not matter whatsoever, there's no meaning purpose or value in it at all, but simultaneously if someone wants to help make the world a better place or help awaken people that's what is happening...why not. The neo-advaitist's as everyone else is calling them, are saying that you cannot awaken the separate individual because the separate individual is an illusion and any attempt to awaken it is futile and ridiculous. Awakening is the disidentification with the illusion. In my experience once I turned my seeking energy 180 degrees within I recognized the ME that I thought I was was the illusion itself. When this energy and illusion fell away, it was simultaneously recognized it never existed, the line dividing duality and non-duality, subject and object was completely recognized to have been simply an illusion all along. The oneness that's always been the case was clearly revealed. "The separation never occurred" - A Course in Miracles Have a good day my friend take care talk to you soon ?

Well, yesterday night I got a message from @Leo Gura - while watching the 5th season of House of Cards - in which he asked me how much 5-MeO-DMT trips I needed to wake up. After answering his question I shared with him a short version of the story how it all happened -- how I woke up. He suggested then that I should share this with you guys to inspire and educate you. And although it's still strange for me to talk about it in detail, it's the right thing to do. Just a year ago I had one wish and one wish only: To know exactly how it is like. And I will give my best shot in trying to articulate it. Before I start though, I will give you some perspective where I'm coming from at this. What my background is, because that's utterly important if you want to understand how my journey took place and how the dynamics of the awakening worked. +++ My Background: How I Got Introduced To Self-Actualization / Enlightenment +++ So let's go back two years. I'm 19 years old, sitting in my old room in my parents house in the night watching Leo's first video on enlightenment. At that time, I moved to Berlin, began my studies and I felt completely fucked up. I mean, my life in general worked out. My studies were going great, I moved to the city that I wanted to live in, ... . But I was feeling just shitty and insecure. I got bullied when I was 12-14 years old for making crappy rap music and it seemed that all that fear and insecurity from that time started to bubble up. I had a chronic feeling of being overwhelmed with my life, being anxious because of that and I didn't have the courage to speak about it to someone because I was deeply convinced that it would make me seem weak and like a victim - and I could not allow that. So, if you asked a friend of mine at that time, he would've described me as this charismatic, confident dude whose life is going pretty well. That's what I pretended to be on the outside. I am pretty charismatic and confident - so that's not a lie - but I used it as a shield so that people wouldn't notice what is going on with me. Coming back to the night in my parents house where I watched the first enlightenment video, I'm just like: "That's my last chance. I have to try this, if this works (and I just believed Leo at that time because I resonated with his style of teaching) I can live in peace." I hated myself at that time, hated who I was and how my life went, so it seemed like a good idea to kill this guy called Azrael. Also, I was fascinated by the idea that this could be possible. I had never heard about the concept of enlightenment before and although I was deeply interested in psychology / philosophy and naturally way too curious about this world, I had kind of given up on ever really knowing what is going on here. This seemed like a solution to that as well. So, I started to meditate the next day. +++ My Journey: How I Made It Happen +++ I have one big advantage over other people and that is: I get fascinated with stuff pretty deeply. Like, when there is a topic that I'm interested in I melt into that. I will research everything that there is about it, look at all the experts in the field, fall platonically in love with them, mimic how they talk and think, what they are interested in. I will live in that dream of that fascination. I will think about it all the day, associate everything that I do with it and make it my thing. That's basically me. That's why I am so young and so old at the same time. Because I live that shit. And as you can guess, I did the same stuff with my journey. I meditated, self-enquired, contemplated and tried to wrap my head around it. In the first year I was just very motivated and tried to get it all in. I knew nothing about it and I wanted to "get in there". So what happened? I actually began to feel better. I had my first realizations, I had cool meditations, began to experience my first mystical experiences and started to do psychedelics - mostly LSD and DMT. So, a year goes by and I'm sitting at home. I moved a few months before that to a new apartment and Leo just released his video on "Free Will". Still, one of my favourites of all time. After I watched the video I meditated on the question "What is going to happen next?" for an hour. In that meditation a very strange thing happened. It felt like something cracked in my head and a lot of thoughts came up. I finished the meditation, began to cook something and noticed for the first time that I am able to listen to my thoughts while knowing that I don't say them myself. Looking back at that, I think it was the point at which my unconscious opened a gateway to my conscious awareness and started to really process some shit. After that, the most horrifying year of my entire life started. My anxiety increased to a top, my unconscious thoughts increased to a top and just hypnotized me all day long. I just couldn't stay mindful. I was scared to leave the house because I was hyper-sensitive about everything. I was a mess. I was so fucked up that I doubted that this is still purging and I sometimes assumed that I am just mentally ill. That I'm a schizophrenic, with PTSD, anxiety disorder and paranoid. That's basically a good description on how I felt for most of the days. At that time, I had probably the deepest realizations. Funnily, if you are in such a bad state you grow a lot and pretty fast because you are meta-analysing yourself all the time (because you are so fucked up) and through that you naturally have a lot of realizations and crazy experiences. From time to time it would stop for 1-2 weeks and I would have deep moments of bliss and clarity. Then the roller-coaster would start all over again and it would get worse. Just a big fucking mess. Needless to say that this was also the time in which I tried everything. Every kind of meditation you know, every kind of teaching that is out there, any psychedelic that I could get my hands on. I was on it. I tried it, analysed and tried to use it to get me out of that horrible state. As I will later state, this time was the time in which my mind began to awaken. I just wasn't really aware of that because simultaneously it was flooded by so many disturbing thoughts and my body was fucked up with so many tensions and bad emotions. This cycle basically kept going for the whole year, intensified and lowered, intensified and lowered. In the summer I got tired of it. I got tired of feeling so bad. I even had suicidal thoughts sometimes (which then freaked me out even more). So I stopped seeking. I still committed to the practice, still did my thing but I just gave up that this would ever stop. I just couldn't see how. In the autumn and winter of that year I started fucking around with 5-MeO-DMT and shrooms. I also started using HoloSync. At that time I had some interesting changes happening. After my first 5-MeO-DMT sessions the tensions in my head completely vanished. That was nice but I was still in pain, still in fear. I also didn't have the nice blissful phases any more, I just felt mostly tired and sick of this shit. That was basically my journey. A big fucking mess. A lot of trial and error, a lot of dedication and fascination. +++ The Awakening of The Mind +++ In the summer of this horrifying year my mind awakened. I had a few awakening experiences before that but non that lasted. In the summer I had one Kundalini awakening. I just sat on my couch, was pretty exhausted and tired that day and thought about a girl that had rejected me at that time. Suddenly this ball of energy came shooting up my spine and into my head where it exploded. The first thought I had was: "Fuck, am I going to die right now?" It was pretty intense. After that I took a walk and was just completely shocked and fascinated with what happened and how I felt. All the anxiety and attachment was gone for this evening. And I could recognize the source. I could recognize where everything is coming from and who I am. I went to a buddy later that evening and it felt like he was a creature - not a human. It was crazy. The days after that experience the state completely vanished and I went back into my fucked up mode. However, my sense of self was now completely rooted in source. I could - if I wanted to - know who I truly was. It was clear. But at that time, I still thought that this cannot be it, because I still felt so damn bad. I didn't know that my body had to awaken as well to be completely rooted in it and to feel the peace and calmness of the awakening. +++ The Awakening of The Body +++ The awakening of the mind is basically realizing who you really are. Being able to recognize source. That's great, but only half of the deal. You can be able to recognize that with your ego still intact raping you like nothing changed. And you won't be able to realize what really happened because your ego is still there. The daemon is still there. Now, here is the story of how my ego integrated and how it brought me into total balance. Roughly two weeks ago, I'm laying in my bed waking up (normally). It's a regular morning in Berlin. I'm still a little bit tired and dreamy, thinking about my daily meditation. And I'm like: "Ah, I don't wanna meditate. I just wanna sleep today." I'm pretty grumpy in the mornings btw. This is not the first morning that I think that way and so I begin to think a little bit. Why do I don't want to meditate any more? This is my favourite and most intimate thing I do every day. And then I'm thinking about the last couple of weeks. How do I feel? How do I feel? I feel pretty good. Wait a minute, I felt good for a pretty long time now. Why am I not thinking about spirituality any more? I used to think about this every day 24/7? Why am I not thinking that much any more in general? I'm pretty relaxed all the time. Where are my chronic tensions in my abdomen? I haven't felt them now for ... Wait a minute. And it goes on like this. That morning I realised that I had awakened. It was the strangest thing. I wasn't able to tell for some days what really changed, I just knew that I didn't feel bad any more and that all my motivation to do my practice just disappeared. (I still did it of course - gotta be disciplined with this and not listen to your thoughts.) After some time I began to think about myself again because I wanted to know what changed. A few nights ago I skyped with my good friend @Huz and I came up with a metaphor that describes it pretty well. +++ The Metaphor: How It Feels to Wake Up +++ So, in the normal non-integrated state of egoic consciousness - wow that's a phrase that sounds pretty evil just writing it - it's like you have an invisible suit that you wear at all times. This suit has one property and one property only. It makes it hard for sensations, emotions and feelings to get out of your body. So now with having this suit on, when you have a sensation or an emotion that goes through your body it will naturally be resisted by the suit and so ping back into your system. It's like there is a resistance through that invisible suit. So that sensation or emotion will go another time through your body and by that amplify the effect it has on you. Because it cannot get out easily. It might get out after some time, depending on how strong your suit is, but it's hard for the poor little thing. Through that you tend to "attach" to what is going on with you. Even more, you begin to identify with what is going on inside yourself because the effect is so strong and always repeats because of the resistance. The same thing is happening with your thoughts. You have a thought and it cannot get out because of your suit. It gets back. Makes another round, triggers other thoughts that cannot get out that trigger even more thoughts. Through that a constant chatter of thoughts is made possible. As you start your practice you begin to unconsciously work on your suit. As you purge more and more shit its resistance gets weaker and more thoughts can go out of your system at first. Then, as this happens a lot of the repressed thoughts are now able to release themselves and your system is flooded by them. Because your suit is weaker they can get out but because of the volume of the repressed thoughts that are now set free it seems like you are regressing - although you are not. Through that process you might be able at some time to recognize who you really are because so much changes inside of yourself. That's great and that's what happened when my mind awakened - however the suit was still on - although weakened. When the body awakens what basically happens is that the suit looses its last resistance and falls off. Through that your body is now able to think and process emotions naturally without unconscious resistance of the suit. This of course implicates that you loose most of your inner tensions and that the volume of your thoughts go down, because they are not amplified any more. It also implicates that you are able to recognize who you are much easier because the strong identification with your sensations, emotions and thoughts is released and really everything that you are aware of finds a perfect balance. This also explains why I did not instantly recognize what happened to me. My meta-analysis, my pain, my tensions, my thought stories just left like a daemon that raped me and through that I just was and am in a state of peace that is not questioning itself all the time and is not trying to get away from itself. I hope this makes sense. +++ The Aftermath: What Now Then? +++ Well, I don't now, to be honest. Right now, I am pretty relaxed. I still do my normal day to day shit, I still have all my preferences, dreams and desires. I don't want to get away from myself any more and I know who I am. I am quite empty. I guess that's a phase in the beginning. I will see where it takes me. I will commit to my practice and see what comes next. I hope that I am able to find a lot of more metaphors in the future about this and I'd like to write more about it to help you guys and make me understand it on an intellectual level. One thing that is very important to understand here is the following: In all my seeking, non-seeking and whatever I did I always made up this picture in my head of "how it would be if I'm there". And that's natural in the non-integrated state of egoic consciousness - oh I love this phrase. I think that this transition took place because when I chased this picture of "how it would be" I was at the same time doing all the work that unconsciously set up all the dynamics and mechanisms to transform my whole being. It took the time that it needed and it didn't give a fuck how I felt about it. When it was time it first awakened my mind and then later awakened the body and when that happened and both came into balance it was just like the picture dissolved and I was shot from my path into a big fucking ocean in which I have to now find out how to swim. It's like I just completed this level and am now at square one again - just in a different world. Well let's find out what's going on in here, right? Because the levels never stop. That's the fun of the game, I guess. I'm thankful to all the members on this forum that I had and have great conversations with. Especially I'm thankful for @Leo Gura who introduced me to all of this and is a constant inspiration, source of education and a fucking pain in the ass to be more committed, @jjer94, @Ayla and @cetus56 who made me realize so much with their beautiful writing and lastly @Huz my great good friend from the UK with whom I have the best conversations about all of this and who is always listening and responding to my crazy voice messages. Cheers, Az P.S. Feel free to ask me whatever is on your mind about all of this. I'm happy to help and to further clarify what I stated here. I will - in the future - post a lot more about the techniques that I used, about more of the dynamics of the process, new trip reports and all the other good shit that we all love to talk about.

@Nahm ”I’ve never actually faced any criticism from friends & family. We just missed, in the heat of a moment, that where each of us is at on our path, is precisely where we “should” be...it is what is...maybe we expected otherwise, and maybe we kinda of ‘paid the price’ for that misunderstanding”. i feel anger. I feel that I have been criticised unfairly by my narcissistic parents. ”Maybe I’m taking where someone else is at, and where people I know are at, and where I’m at...and expecting things to be other than they are, as if there was a “right way”, a “right teaching”, a “correct objective view”, etc. This leaves me feeling some kind of worry, as if I need to figure out which is the “right”, or “rational way”, or “correct way”. Yes I definitely feel my mind trying to moralise things. I feel pressure to follow Leo’s teachings. “I don’t want to suffer like the people I keep coming across in my life. It is a fate worse than death to be ordinary and live a consumeristic lifestyle. For me it is the definition of hell. determination. All the people around me I see are blind to the ways they hurt themselves. “I don’t want to talk about over thinking, nor self referential thinking. I don’t like when people talk about that”. i overthink a lot myself. So I guess the emotion I feel is denial. I want to stop overthinking but I feel like my mind is stuck in a permanent state of overthinking. It is a mechanism to cope with my problems. “I notice sometimes I am so moved & inspired, that I end up frustrated when others don’t accept my understanding”. I don’t feel frustrated by it. But I do feel dejected for a brief moment. I accept that they won’t understand because the understanding only occurred for me because of a few lucky circumstances and the right mindset. ”I sometimes notice that I see people through a lens of sameness, but also sometimes through a lens of labeling them, or pigeonholing them, or, differences”. yes, I often get a sense of superiority when I look at people around me. I see them as the same, caught in the matrix of daily human life, even though I was there not long ago. ”My understanding of why stage blue is often offended by stage green, is really clear. I enjoy the feeling of harmony I experience with my understanding of spiral dynamics. I’m so glad I took the time to better understand myself and others, and how we are all connected”. yes. I feel a sense of relief that I discovered spiral dynamics. I have a sense of clarity that I’ve never experienced before and it is beautiful. It gives me structure as well because I have an end goal of moving up the spiral . ”Occasionally, I expect people to change to be like me, but then I remember we’re all the same, and we choose different thoughts, and I have a hearty relieving laugh about it all”. i don’t recognise people as the same. I tend to put them down in my mind. It’s something I need to work on. Fundamentally I know we are all the same, but I often forget. ”No one will ever be able to relate to awakening, who has not yet awakened”. i haven’t awakened, so I can’t really say how I feel about this. But I think I would tend to agree. ”I relish in putting how I feel, before anything I think or say. The effortlessness of life has been revealed to me, and it is pure joy”. i am still dominated by my mind but over the past year I have really let go of expressing things in ideas and often frame things in terms of emotions, yet because of past trauma, I have not fully opened up yet. ”If I had the last brownie on earth, and couldn’t share it with anyone - I’d eat it, and enjoy the heck out of it, with a big smile on my face”. I would feel guilty and feel sad that the other person could not share it with me. I woud give them the whole thing.

@Mongu9719 This is going to initially sound odd, but how do you feel when reading these statements? Some might not resonate, and even feel off-putting. If there’s any “triggering” experience, what is the emotion which arises? ”I’ve never actually faced any criticism from friends & family. We just missed, in the heat of a moment, that where each of us is at on our path, is precisely where we “should” be...it is what is...maybe we expected otherwise, and maybe we kinda of ‘paid the price’ for that misunderstanding”. ”Maybe I’m taking where someone else is at, and where people I know are at, and where I’m at...and expecting things to be other than they are, as if there was a “right way”, a “right teaching”, a “correct objective view”, etc. This leaves me feeling some kind of worry, as if I need to figure out which is the “right”, or “rational way”, or “correct way”. “I don’t want to suffer like the people I keep coming across in my life”. “I don’t want to talk about over thinking, nor self referential thinking. I don’t like when people talk about that”. “I notice sometimes I am so moved & inspired, that I end up frustrated when others don’t accept my understanding”. ”I sometimes notice that I see people through a lens of sameness, but also sometimes through a lens of labeling them, or pigeonholing them, or, differences”. ”My understanding of why stage blue is often offended by stage green, is really clear. I enjoy the feeling of harmony I experience with my understanding of spiral dynamics. I’m so glad I took the time to better understand myself and others, and how we are all connected”. ”Occasionally, I expect people to change to be like me, but then I remember we’re all the same, and we choose different thoughts, and I have a hearty relieving laugh about it all”. ”No one will ever be able to relate to awakening, who has not yet awakened”. ”I relish in putting how I feel, before anything I think or say. The effortlessness of life has been revealed to me, and it is pure joy”. ”If I had the last brownie on earth, and couldn’t share it with anyone - I’d eat it, and enjoy the heck out of it, with a big smile on my face”.

So, it's been some time since I've posted on my journal. So much has happened. My main theme is divine masculine and divine feminine. I finally understand. By embodying both, we really see things in such a different light. Females understand men more then men do lol. So let me share something, Little by little I've become more and more masculine. True yang. Fire. I've embodied it to the extreme. I've felt like a true man. If that makes sense to the person reading. The divine masculine resists the divine feminine. Once someone awakens their divine feminine you are in balance with oneself. As long as we stop resistance. And example of what I'm talking about is acting like a girl while being a "male" so let me restart. Yesterday I chatted with my best friend, But he would always trigger me. For no reason I would get triggered and we realized that it's when he embodies his divine feminine. My divine masculine would resist so much. The more masculine I became I would resist him more and more. I would never want to talk or when we did talk I would get triggered. We discovered that whenever he embodies his divine feminine I would feel this resistance come from my soul. The place in between my heart and solar plexus. I felt this "fire" there. I could feel the degrees in which he embodied more of his yin nature. His natual chart showed his masculine and feminine at both 5 while my masculine was at 8 and feminine at 2. Long story short. We talked and since we figured it out he switched to embodying his masculine side. I would no longer get triggered by anything he said and I felt fine chatting with him. I then discovered or felt like I had a twin flame. It's been a theme that's been coming up a lot in my life. I never understood them till now. The girl I loved would always feel resistance when I used to embody my divine feminine and chase her. Then I switched and unconsciously switched to more of a divine masculine nature and stoped caring. I no longer cared and the roles switched (I still don't fully understand this, since online they say you can only be divine feminine or divine masculine. It just feels right to call her my twin flame if that makes sense? Maybe it's another connection that I'm just associating as twin flame.) This is only understood by people who have awakened both inside of them. Anyone who has awakened both can switch between the two and have different degrees. I became a girl, literally. I saw from a girls perspective. I emoboided the divine feminine. Yin to the extreme is such a good listener. We both realized soooo much about both of our natures. I finally tapped into both. he has delt with this his whole life. Saying as a kid he never understood his feminine side and would resist it so much. I never understood until yesterday. Girls understand guys so much better then we understand ourselves. Like we created all these amazing analogies. And example of one was that divine masculine is like a sun, Shining brightly. While the divine feminine is very cold and doesn't care about the shining masculine. Another one was a divine masculine when angry is like touch me and you will burn while the divine feminine is you look at me you burn. I've never been angry while in my feminine state as I've only fully embodied it yesterday, but that is the example he gave me. It fit so much for the masculine side that I'm sharing it here. He also shared a lot of the insigts he has gotten since he was a child, which really helped me understand this feminine side. Femine is very caring. Like a mature women. It was such an eye opener. I realized so much and when I finally embodied/ switched from a divine masculine to the divine feminine I cried. There was soooo much that happened yesterday that I would have to use pages of words to explain what happened. I can now tap into both divine masculine and feminine. Different degrees. Use and switch to solve problems. I have grown once again. Also, if anyone has had the chance to awaken to both their divine energies I would love to hear about it oh yeah, I no longer get triggered by his femine side since I've experienced the divine feminine side. Oh some of my own insigts are: when I embodied the femine side I contemplated and I realized that sex no longer means the same thing. It's about connection. I also had zero drive for goals and saw that I stoped caring about sex. I had all this sexual energy before and once I became a "girl" I stoped unconsciously seeking it. Wow, this is truly amazing. My whole perspective on life has changed. I realized that the divine masculine has all these judgements about the feminine and the feminine is so kind. I just wanna go on and on about my insigts. Like, the divine feminine is such a good listener. She doesn't look at you while she listens but she actually wants to hear what you have to say. while the divine masculine is always trying to talk over someone or share what they just thought. He wants eye contact and all this extra stuff. Oh and when I'm in the divine masculine state my body is more "open" like my arms are open and my legs are not so close together. But in the divine feminine state all my body parts are touching each other. It feels nice to curl up. if anyone relates then I would love to listen.

My theory is that some people have a more or less inherent ability to awareness and consciousness through introspection but not having awakened those abilities becomes tools that instead of helping transcending ones problems actually work as excavating tools, digging the hole one is in deeper in every possible way. At some point the bubble of ignorance is popped - typically through crisis - and you suddenly gain a lot of clarity as a result of all that contemplation work you've done without realizing it. Other people have little or no ability to introspect and are externally focused around their problems and it makes it very hard as no solution is found "out there". ...it's a theory, that matches my experience.

I think you often think I'm then talking about separation or some form of an individual that gets enlightened, I'm really not. What I'm saying is the first glimpse of truth, The experience of No-Self is the beginning, not the end. I stated that the separate Self is an illusion, the Little me is a fiction, and all that exists is The Absolute, the 'world' is simply The Absolute, the world as we know it doesn't actually exist as anything except Presence, The Absolute or whatever you want to call it. 'To move from the belief, I am something, to the understanding that I am nothing is a path of exclusion - I am not this, not this, not this. To move from the understanding that I am nothing to the all-embracing feeling-understanding that I am everything is a path of inclusion - I am this, I am this, I am this. The first is a path of understanding, the second a path of love.' Rupert puts it well. No Self, is the path of exclusion, and not the end of the path, but the beginning. True Advaita/ Non-Duality takes us to Absolute Peace and Happiness without any cause. I like you @VeganAwake but honestly, a lot of what you say sounds very much like Neo-Advaita, 6:27 - As he says it's fine for people who are already at peace and happiness, however telling people who believe there is a Personal Entity that there is 'nothing to do' is such a shitty teaching, for starters that belief needs to rid off, there is something to do! As I said this is about the seeing through of separation and the separate entity, and the recognition of the true nature of our beings that brings this absolute peace and happiness. These teachers are speaking from the 'other side' and most listeners are not there, therefore, the teachings simply are not helpful in most cases. So, if someone is unhappy and there is nothing they can do is that just it? Does this person not deserve happiness then, as there's nothing they can do about their unhappiness? I always say the deepest teaching is that of a transmission of presence and being in the presence of awakened beings. However, when that is not possible, and even on top of that, practices are very beneficial for a number of reasons. Most of the people listening to Neo-Advaita teachers are NOT happy, are NOT at peace and have Zero/Little experiential understanding, therefore, saying there is 'nothing' one can do is literally a pointless teaching in MOST Cases. Of course, in some cases, it is the EXACT teaching they need if they've been seeking for decades and are still stuck, but as a blanket teaching, it is very unhelpful. This article by Rupert is beautiful and a great reminder for those on the path, I forget how eloquent his writing is https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/read/the_disentanglement_of_the_self

I'll get pushbacks for this, but to me, they say this because they only have partial awakenings, they're definitely awakened and have had awakenings but tend to get stuck at the whole 'No-Self' rap, however, they help a lot of people and that's what matters most. To me, you could say these guys are the League 2 of Spiritual Teachers, and teachers like Francis Lucille, Rupert Spira, Adyashanti, Ramana Maharshi and Nisgardatta Maharaj are the Premier League. Shit analogy but can't think of a better one really. The funny thing is if they actually truly practiced Self-Inquiry they'd realize No-Self is simply not the final answer, and is in fact the I-Thought clinging onto a new Identity that very subtly rejects 'Duality.' 'There is nobody there, nothing to do' is a great teacher in certain situations and for certain people, but when used as a blanket message is hugely reductionist. That said seeing through the illusion of self is a HUGE step on the path, and one many won't take, and as I said IS a genuine awakening but stopping here is like running in an 800M race and deciding the finish line is only after 200M. Basically your selling yourself short. Once you start to teach, you also rarely develop further and 'crystalize' (Leo seems a rare exception but he's not exactly a full time touring speaker and is more focused on his own growth) Like I said all teachers are amazing in that they are trying to help people awaken and that is beautiful. But, this doesn't mean all teachers are created equal, although saying someone has had a deeper awakening is like a crime in some circles of Non-Duality. Also, saying practices aren't worthwhile is reductionist. In some cases people may benefit from dropping certain practices, as Practices in a Non-Dual sense are meant to take you into the silence and experience the truth for yourself. (Ramana literally invented Self-Inquiry for this purpose) But, practices can have other benefits for people- Meditation/ Breathwork can help with sleep, anxiety, healing etc, much of this isn't necessarily related to Non-Duality but clearly practices benefit many people. Then you also have the issue of past lives, (if you believe in past lives/ karma) you could look into these guys past lives and see decades or lifetime of spiritual practices for example to prepare them for awakening, and most would have done some form in this lifetime, they may not benefit them now but that doesn't mean they never have. For example, those who had spontaneous awakenings could have had lifetimes of practice e.g. Ramana and Eckhart Tolle, or they're just super lucky. Practices may not benefit everyone, but benefit many and help many realize the True nature of reality. Neo-Advaita is actually quite dangerous imo, when embodied as a belief system it can be very toxic and confusing, they are talking from a place of understanding but their listeners are unlikely to actually get it experientially so may go home and tell their children 'There's nobody here to take care of you anymore' etc, extreme example but we have to be careful of the ramifications these things can have. Many more developed teachers have written on the modern issue of Neo-Advaita, so I'll link some articles below. All I'll say is take what you can from these teachers, but don't become dogmatic about the message, they never really talk about Love, The Absolute, The Self etc and to me miss many facets of awakening. Also, suggesting no work needs to be done is incredibly appealing right? What would you rather do, be told there's no work to do, or actually put in the effort to grow yourself and work on your shadow. Even if there is a spontaneous awakening, there is still embodiment and shadow work to be done, which these teachers forever miss out on. The neglection of teachers like Adya and Rupert could be as realizing deeper truths would involve deep inquiry and put their current livelihoods at risk, we have to remember awakened beings aren't always free of self-bias. I personally went through this crisis as was an Eckhart Tolle addict, and realizing his teachings weren't the be-all and end all was hard for my 17 year old self to take! You could say they are at the Neti, Neti Stage (Not This, No Self, Nobody here) but have failed to embrace the path of Inclusion in that I am everything, I am love, I am The Absolute, which is a much more complete teaching. This is it, as it is right now, but not in the Neo-Advaita use of the word. I used to love Rupert Spira and read most of his books and posts, he for one wrote on this subject: https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/read/suicide_and_awakened_behaviour230 https://non-duality.rupertspira.com/watch/suffering-and-neo-advaita

@LfcCharlie4 Thanks for the shout out man, it means a lot. I think we have a responsibility as people on the path to go out in the world and be successful and make money etc. The world would be a better place if awakened beings were at the highest levels of government, business etc. I plan on making a lot of money and having a lot of influence as i grow. But the difference is I will do it with a high level of consciousness and with the intention to help others.

Ask and ye shall receive...❤ thanks When I read this it completely reminded me of Osho... although I'm aware he was big on meditation. Anyone in tier-2 would recognize that Awakening can occur in traditional advaita, neo advaita and everything all encompassing... there's no prerequisites it's just something that apparently happens. Tony Parsons mentioned a drunk bum that awakened after a long night of partying and doing drugs. (of course you could say the drugs were a practice in itself) Anyone taking a left to right movement in these non dual descriptions would just be limiting themselves to one option. I've had a couple drinky-poo so I hope that makes sense? ?

@Nahm I can’t believe you guys don’t kick out people like him. He asks me why I haven’t done psychedelics, I tell him why, then he proceeds to call me names and make wrong stereotypical judgements. Then he tells you his intent to make me feel bad lol. All this because I don’t want to take psychedelics at this stage of my life. Keep in mind he claims he is awakened. What a joke! If this isn’t bullshit I don’t know what is! You have too many bullshiters who don’t know how to keep the discussion civil. On top of that, you don’t even enforce the guidelines properly. Makes me not want to come on this forum again. Too many bullshiters.

I was dreaming of spring (this time of year I always dream of tropical beaches and spring and this year I just allow it and it's pure enjoyment without the weight of time) and thought about lilacs. I was so enchanted with the memory of last year's lilacs that I thought to write it on my dream board. There is one gift a boy gave me that I remember more fondly than ever. It was the same one who annoyed me sometimes, who I already journaled about who drew me as his wife on the calendar page, but one spring day he brought me and the other girls in our class lilacs that he had picked waiting before the bus came. I'd never really seen or smelled lilacs before that. Not only did he bring me flowers, but the first knowledge/experience of something I would love my entire life. I can feel my face start to get red, at the embarrassment of letting myself be drawn into pure fantasy and romance, and then tears flow down with the realization that that's exactly what I came to do. I see that love, romance, fantasy and gifts can be freely accepted without remorse, shame, guilt or fear. Too good to be true? It is. Why would I create Dr.P to come through as a persona and a literal real life awakened past "being", with a book he had written about a story that broke the duality between fantasy and reality. As much as I had loved Jesus, and as much as I had loved Harry Potter, Dr.P was where the duality between "actual past" and "fictional fantasy" came to die. And I had come to love him before I even knew about him. I had come to be obsessed with that spot on the river, where I went just to appreciate the beauty of nature and my beautiful kids playing in it. It consumed me and I couldn't understand it. Then the stroller rolling away in the cemetery, the joke of the poison nightshade growing on a herbal healers grave, the lost and found again mittens, the impulse to read the book, and then finding the remains of his house, and that they had overlooked the spot on the river the entire time. He came through my love of the "past" and nature to give me gifts, insights and such a strong force of love to overcome my assumptions about reality. It's complete, beautifully written fantasy. So is my path, my existence, my entire life. It's consuming itself in an act of Love. I have played a damsel in distress, but in doing so I am the dragon who threatens her. I have created a fantasy of a knight in shining armor who rescues me from my self imposed bleak prison of existence. Why do I create so many spiritual warrior heros? I am a psychological whore of the heart mind. Oh the spiritual "teachers" I have I loved and let in. Jesus, John, Harry Potter, C.S.Lewis, Leo, Ekhart Tolle, D.P and so many others. Because I am them too. And no one is responsible for any of it. "Responsibility and desire just butt heads, they don't really do well together." -Esther Perell Ohhhh.. shit. She says at the end "Merry Valentine's" It was posted on Valentine's Day. I shared this in the dating section without realizing this synchronicity. What did you tell him about responsibility on Valentine's Day? What day did you join the forum on 4 years ago? What have you dug up Mandy, what are you doing? Are you holding a shovel right now? No? Then no one is digging anything up. This is so embarrassing! Why am I on a forum full of intelligent practical men talking about love, romance and little girl's fantasies? You mean to ask, "who is responsible for that? "

If you're able to- Work 1-1 with a teacher and receive Transmissions. Ramana Maharshi- “Silence is truth. Silence is bliss. Silence is peace. And hence Silence is the Self.” Read this- http://nomindsland.blogspot.com/2016/06/sri-ramana-maharshi-silence-is-most.html Silence is and always has been the highest teaching. Words are amazing when necessary, but eventually all concepts must be let go. Self Inquiry was 'invented' by Ramana Maharshi for those not ready for the power of silence, to help them get to that silence and rest there, in the stillness you will then find God/ Absolute/ The Self. Transmissions from an awakened being could be compared to this silence on steroids, it's a bit of a shit analogy but I can't think of a better one! And, just to add once you arrive at the ultimate silence, then thoughts, feelings, the play of life ceases to have the same effects it had on you before as you are no longer identified with it. So, you will still have thoughts, emotions, things happen etc, but these will be felt, thought, lived in the now and then pass through you, the resistance and 'stickiness' is what changes. You could then say Non-Duality and Duality merge in one 'explosion' and the rest in this peace is beyond beautiful.

Looks like I misunderstood your intention. I thought you were asking for proof from awakened teachers that psychedelics are effective. I don’t know of any teachers, other than Leo, that provide guidance on how to use psychedelics effectively on a spiritual path. It seems more like hundreds of scattered trip reports across the internet. I think in the future there will be more teachers that specifically teach psychedelic methods - similar to how many teachers today that give guidance on meditation methods. The people I listed have used psychedelics on their path, yet don’t talk much about it or give best usage instructions.

@4201 You are citing spiritual teachers that have no psychedelic experience. Of course they won’t advocate for psychedelics, since that wasn’t their path. And awakened beings are not just people that lead retreats, ashrams and give talks with a vase of flowers by their side. There are plenty of awakened beings that do not lead conspicuous lives, especially about their psychedelic use. There are awakened beings that have used psychedelics as part of their path. People like Leo, Martin Ball, Lisa Cairns, Ananta Kranti - and people on this forum. As well, go travel through Peru. I met dozens of awakened being engaging in Ayahuasca ceremonies. And native Americans have been using psychedelics for mysticism for centuries. Yet other awakened beings like Ram Dass didn’t resonate with psychedelics. Noone can give you a 100% guarantee of their effectiveness or ineffectiveness. On a scale of 1-10, perhaps the value of psychedelics for you would be 2, or maybe an 8. The only way to find out is try it for yourself through direct experimentation. At a personal level, I don’t resonate with anyone that is 100% pro-psychedelics as the one and only cure all or anyone that is 100% anti-psychedelics. Both are immature, ignorant positions contracted into partial truths.

My answer to you is, because not everyone gets this chance. You have been given the chance to fully realise what you truly are, your true nature. Some people live their entire lives without even the slightest inkling that they aren’t a person riding around in their heads, being attached to “positive” things, and averse to “negative” things. But you have, somehow, by chance, stumbled onto your true nature, or at least got a whiff of it. Now, this should be your new meaning of life, to realise what you truly are. You can still live your life, have goals, have a girlfriend, get a good job, make mistakes, own a house, have kids, or not, and along the way lots of things will change, you might not achieve those goals you had set for yourself, but then you will realise they were only an expression of your ego, so it will be easy to let go of them and continue. But, you can also find psycho-technologies to assist you in getting what you want by changing who you are on the surface. But, what you really are will not change. If you really want to get down in the dumps go read some Nietzsche, that will depress the shit out of you, I mean real despair. But, if you have awakened, even despair wont bother you, it will be observed, and then you will get back to things in your life which give some meaning, like friends, family, hobbies, etc, and those dark times won’t seem so dark. Good luck. You are still so young, and to be at this stage at your age is surprising to me, it took me 15 more years to get to this point, and I feel I am only just beginning in this journey to nowhere.

The more awakened version of the free will question resolves as there not being a difference between free will and not free will, since that is a duality. It's very tricky. The universe's will is in control, but you are also the universe. In the end, everything is God's will, but you are also God. So you sit right in the nexus of the matter.

Yeah why isn't this so called awakened person at a healthy weight? is she still eating McDonalds?

Time is speeding up again. A lot is going on and it's going on fast. Regardless, I wanted to take a moment and share a few thoughts with you here. Those seeking guidance; may be pointed in the right direction. Those who have forgotten; may be reminded. Those searching for a fun read; may be entertained. So... Let's talk Reality! What is it? What's it all about? Everything around you, including you is pure, infinitely intelligent, self-aware Light. Everything you can see, hear, touch, taste and smell is at its core Light. Literally. Even the air you breathe is actually Light. And it's all vibrating at a certain frequency. That is why some things appear to be solid and others soft, airy or liquid - for example. There is nothing physical about reality, really. What we call "physical" is simply a specific density of Light. In actuality; there is no matter. Only vibration. Consciousness. It's all just Light crossing its own path. Over and over again. That is how things appear to be. That is how stuff is tangible. Visible. Experiential. This game... is a vibrational game. In it you can match, mirror, uplift or simply hold space. What you do depends on how conscious you are of the choice you have each and every moment. There is just one moment, but there are infinite versions of it. Every split second is a snapshot. A perfect, unique picture of God. You are shifting through trillions of those snapshots, constantly. You are travelling at the speed of light, literally! And that is why only Light can become aware of that. Of itself. That is how there is only one moment and no moment at all. Only NOW. Only Light. Breathe. It's God that you're breathing. Relax. You are loved and always supported. You cannot fall. Cannot fail. You're here to play. In this game there is an infinite amount of relations. You relate to things, ideas, emotions other people... To everything around you. In fact; that is how "around you" is even possible, in the first place. When you are approached by someone who's embodying a particular frequency, there's a few possible scenarios that can play out; 1. You submit and subconsciously choose to match the frequency of that individual. In that way, the individual you're interacting with has energetically overpowered you and becomes the one with the wheel in his/her hands. You are along for a ride. This is a common occurrence in the dormant phase of consciousness. 2. You are aware of the individual's energetic field to some degree and choose to reflect back or mirror the frequency they're projecting towards you. Be it perceived as positive or negative by you - doesn't really matter. Point is; you recognize - but you still do not have the capacity/awareness to cultivate your own energy, shine your light and share your Truth. That is still the sleepers game. 3. You consciously or subconsciously choose to project the polar opposite frequency. This can be useful and very powerful, but not during the slumber. It must be mastered. You must wake up first and have a deep understanding of the union of contrary things. Understand how paradoxes work. 4. Once you become aware of your true divine nature and realize your potential; the game becomes much more fun. Now you are present enough and conscious of the choice you have each and every moment. And if your heart is awakened; your choice will always be to energetically uplift yourself and those around you. You do this by radiating Love and compassion, your inner Truth - no matter what you're being presented with. You choose to unload the collective burden by increasing your own frequency and standing your ground firmly. That way; you offer those still unable to cultivate higher vibrations a choice to simply match yours. That is how the collective consciousness is being awakened and the vibration/frequency of our plane is being shifted into a lighter density. 5. Yet nother type of game you can play as a conscious individual is to simply hold space (and time) for everything that's unfolding. You do not choose to embody any particular frequency, rather - you remain an empty vessel and rest in observance as pure awareness. Not very interactive, but still much needed and beneficial for the collective field. Just like interacting with other individuals; your diet and daily activities come down to vibration, as well. You eat food that is of a similar frequency as your own. That way it's easier for you to match (digest) and extract the energy needed. There is no one perfect diet. You should eat what feels good in your body and energises your being - instead of following culinary trends. Same goes for your daily activities. Take a look at your life and try to connect the dots. If the stuff that you do drains you and exhausts you - it's usually a sign of dissonance ( not a match ). In that case; you should consider changing those activities. What you do should naturally fulfill you, not drain you. Focus more on your state of being and less on your circumstances. Things will surely shift. You can become directly conscious of your core frequency through meditation and other practices and learn how to increase/decrease it at will. Breath is key. With all that being said... this game is badass. Don't you think? You're bombarded with flashcards non-stop and your mission is to bless and love the crap out of all of them for the benefit of yourself and all... To create heaven on Earth. Level: expert, baby! Haha! Play safe, have fun. Much love to you all.

@Jonac Beautiful. So glad to hear. Simply sitting with and being with the feeling you feel might be the hardest thing to do at times but it's also most beneficial. It's how true growth and expansion happens. It's what feelings "want" from us in the first place. To not turn our back on them and acknowledge their importance. Nothing as spiritual as feeling shitty as fuck and being totally ok with it @Raptorsin7 Would it be a dick move to say you gotta figure out what works for you? Because you do, really. But it doesn't have to be difficult. Feel your way towards Love. What works for me, when I find myself stuck in the mental realm is taking a step back; a big, conscious breath and reminding myself of the big picture. Of what truly matters to me. Of what I am passionate about. What I hold close to my heart. That way I get a grip of the frequency of Love and I can slowly but surely step out of the mental loop. I have no need to explain anything away anymore. No longer am I searching for a cause or an effect. I simply bathe in the feeling that is my home. An overthinking mind is a sign of a shut down heart The mind is not an enemy though. Once you opened the heart up, send some love up there. Love the mind and its ways. It is a genius tool, especially once awakened.

Any 'insights' we have are merely our own perception of our experience, it's not any type of universal 'map' that everyone can follow. We can share our insights to find others who resonate with similar imagery and concepts but to suggest one perception is absolute truth and another is illusion can lead to people seeking the imagery of conceptualization instead of the experience of being present. As we awaken to the experience of being present our imagery and conceptualization will evolve with it so to focus too much on just one marker of our own personal path and teaching it as an absolute truth isn't awakened to the oneness of all marks and all paths. We don't all share the exact same perception in experience so don't share the exact same imagery, concepts or paths even though we share in the exact same oneness.

Hello there fellow seekers of the Absolute. Sorry for the click-bait guys, but there is no shortcut to absolute truth . Instead of giving you false perceptions I will be giving a summary of my journey to absolute truth, not for approval, but to help making you more aware of the false reality you are living in due to lower consciousness. Along the way I will hopefully be triggering your subconscious soul-memory. So DO NOT dismiss or judge this story, for the Source/God has given each and everyone of us life to seek the absolute truth and when found to live and expand this greater understanding onto the seekers. Of course this knowledge cannot be understood by the believer through words or concepts, (it can only be communicated and understood by the knowers, because only they will find the deeper understanding/meaning behind the words or concepts) let alone through a thread on a forum. That's why you have to seek yourself and if you truly, from the depths of your existence, SEEK for absolute truth and intensely want it, that's when you will arrive at your (next) truth (keep in mind truth can change, not the absolute, but rather your truth). That is how the Light will eventually sprout inside of you by experience and sensation, it is not something you can link together like connecting the dots. (Seek and you shall find). So If you wish to trigger this absolute truth unto yourself I advise you not to fast forward scroll through this thread, but rather to read everything with intend. I also tend to share some more personal things to help give you an understanding about the individual (me). My personal self Up until the 19th year of my life, It wasn't really great, I had a hard chilhood and had to leave the house with no contact when I was 16. I started facing the world alone without having any Idea where I was headed or where I would stay, standing with my back against the wall trying to survive day to day. Also I did what I wanted to do because I was living my own life, when I reached rock bottom at 19 I started smoking weed (Funny since I always told myself that I wouldn't ). That is when I truly started to know my worldy self, also my personal horizon on everything expanded greatly. This was an uplift to my emotions and my life overall. I came from a spiritual family with a spiritual mother and aunt that had a bond that even twins can't connect like. Also, they were so far ahead of me spiritually, my worldy self couldn't even comprehend the deeper understanding behind their doings/sayings, and just thought of them as my slightly strange but o so loving and giving family (Oh how I was the strange one in the end). My aunt was like a mother to me, that taught me things my actual mother didn't or couldn't, but she passed away a couple of years ago due to lung cancer, this was a fallback for me with lots of emotions up until my Awakening. The start of the journey This journey began in approximately 2017 when my muslim friend Adam who I met in elementary school came to me with tears in his eyes (we're both 25 now and stayed friends) and said that he had a vivid dream about us and everyone standing at judgement day. He saw me getting taken into Hell while he was going to Heaven (probably because he still lived at home with dinner being served every day and living according to his religion). He also cried in the dream because there was nothing he could do to help me. Keep in mind my friend grew up in a muslim household and everything other than that what he believes in is complete false, simply because Islam is 'the truth'. I don't even judge him now because we've all hold false perceptions of reality at first, I didn't even believe in the Source/God and was a total Atheist, who used logic and science for truth. He practically begged me to learn about Islam because he believed it was a sign from 'Allah'. However, back then I didn't know much about the details of this religion, but he showed me some things in this book and compared it to science, which seemed pretty convincing and made me think, but I still didn't believe there was a God. So there is a God ? This was until I started scientifically looking for mistakes in the evolution theory and I found out how complicated our DNA actually is. This can't just come from nothing. But the biggest switch was when I learned about the formula that came into existence when the Big Bang happened called 1.618, better known as the Golden Ratio or the Spiral of life. I thought if I take apart my phone and throw it into the cosmos we could wait a million years, but it would never be a complete phone in the end. Or I could smash my keyboard for a bazillion years and in the end I wouldn't all of a sudden get a quantum code designed to create new universes or something, so basically you could say that I found out life doesn't just happen to be. This was a definite eye opener that there was indeed an intelligent designer behind our existence. So I began to inquire into Islam, because if this was the truth I wanted it! But if it wasn't then I wanted to save my friend from this false perception! At first they show you all these 'miracles' of the Q'uran that are so convincing, because you are still thinking in concepts and words to comprehend this so called 'truth'. Soon I found out how this cult actually worked and how these so called 'scholars' of Islam are changing words in the translations of the Q'uran/Hadiths in the benefit of Islam. Then I found out (as they (muslims) all say) you can only really understand this book if you read it in the original Arabic language, but my friend didn't even know how to read Arabic. I looked for someone who could help me with translations and it turned out to be even worse than I thought (not going into further details because this truth doesn't even matter). This couldn't be the word of God, this couldn't be Absolute truth, I refused to accept this tyranny, never the less Adam asked me to come to the musk one time just for the experience, so I went. There I found their Imam totally working on the emotions of these people, on the fears and desires (otherworldy desires), He told us to fear Allah! He said to be scared of Allah, how Allah would punish you if you didn't live according to the Q'uran or the Prophet, this went on for about 20 minutes. Before I decided to come with Adam to the musk I found a giant scientific mistake in their scripture. I decided to confront him with it after the gathering ended, to see what his reaction would be. After I showed the imam the error in their scriptures, they were all looking flabbergasted as if they had never heard about this before. After 45 minutes of the Imam browsing through their scriptures, he came to the conclusion that this wasn't a mistake,. It was just me who was an idiot basically and didn't understand their scriptures. That's when I was sure.. These were NOT the scriptures of the Divine. Of course Adam also refused to see this as a mistake, but I knew that it was a done deal for me, even though he still tried to make me see his truth. Emptiness So there I was, knowing evolution wasn't the answer and religions weren't the answer. I was aware that I knew exactly nothing of our existence, the things I was so sure of most likely weren't true as well. I deeply asked myself these questions over and over again, why are we here ? Were we just born to die ? What happens after 'death'? After a month of being pointblank and still seeking for Absolute truth, I came across a book called The Universal One by Walter Russel (http://educate-yourself.org/cn/TheUniversalOne1926WalterRussell.pdf) If you haven't awakened yet, or even if you have, I advise you to read this book even if it takes you 2 days to understand 1 page. This book is full of true knowledge about our universe and will benefit YOU, the reader, greatly. Of course you don't have to believe me! Just open the book and look for yourself. With some of this knowledge inside my head and actually starting over with everything I thought was truth I had some sort of a different view of the world. I still wanted Absolute truth, but I knew that I knew nothing. SPIRITUAL AWAKENING! My girlfriend was having a small party with some friends, in the end (about 5 hours later) only 2 friends of mine stayed. My girlfriend was sleeping and we smoked some blunts while talking about divinity and such. We put on some chill music, started filling balloons with Nitrous Oxide and began inhaling them (It's a thing here in the Netherlands). This wasn't the first time, so it wasn't a big deal or anything. A couple of rounds later my friend put on ASAP Rocky - L$D, as I inhaled my filled balloon again, I started to flow away further and further. I focused on my breathing and thought of nothing (unintentionally), I felt I went further away from my individual self yet I was still there in the Now. Then IT happened. It was as if my humanity got taken off layer by layer, The Ego, my Desires, My Fears, my Emotions. For once I was able to completely let go of the past and was fully in the present, It really felt like I was dying, as I was thinking that I was dying It was as if the universe downloaded data inside my head, because all of a sudden I felt and experienced (NOT HEAR) someone giving me a feeling that it's okay to let go and that reincarnation was a fact, so I would come back, Then finally all my attachments in the world were gone and I was aware that all that was left over was consciousness. THEN I REALIZED all I am IS consciousness. After that, I felt a LOVE which was so BIG and SO POWERFUL, I've never felt anything like this before in my life. This love could only be from the Source/God (what I knew the moment I felt it), and it kept on going, After this great sensation of love I was given this sense of UNITY with everyone and everything that's in this universe. I quickly became aware that I am you, you are me, I am the trees, the trees are me, we are ALL ONE. We are not in nature, we ARE nature, we are not in the universe, we ARE the universe. Then I was given the knowledge that RELIGION WAS NOT THE ANSWER INDEED and that NOTHING TRULY MATTERS EXCEPT CONSCIOUSNESS! I felt this deeply intense feeling of happiness and bliss, like I've never felt before. Soon after I came back, I stood up shocked/surprised and said "GUYS NOTHING MATTERS IN THE WORLD, ONLY CONSCIOUSNESS and leveling that truly matters" and they were looking at me all weird, I still see their faces haha . My perception of reality got changed to Absolute Truth for good! The day after, I wanted to find out what happened that caused this great but weird experience, that's when I found out it happened because the brain always needs and gets oxygen every second of the day. The Nitrous Oxide causes 'Cerebral hypoxia', this occurs when not enough oxygen can get to the brain, that gave me a Near Death Experience. So, my mind thought it was actually dying, that's when enough Dymethyltryptamine was released to cause my Spiritual Awakening. Even the day after this experience I was still feeling this insane love and empathy towards other people, also this feeling of unity just kept hanging by and the thought that all I am is consciousness. I felt I couldn't talk to anyone about this, because they would think I was crazy, but I knew there was one person who would listen without prejudice for sure, that was my mother. I called her and told her; "Mom there's something really weird that happened to me", she replied with "What happened !?", thinking something bad happened. That's when I started explaining my experience to her, when I was halfway she just stopped me and said "Really honey ? Congratulations, I'm so intensely proud of you!" SHE KNEW! SHE KNEW about Absolute Truth all along, she knew this would happen one day, and as she told me "Congratulations", all of a sudden a memory came back to me. When I was 12/13, she told me that when I was 3 years old she closed my 3rd eye, because I was bothered by entities (positive though), but I couldn't sleep because of it. Then I remembered she also said it would open when I would be 24 years old............. This awakening happened 2 months prior to my 25th year old birthday, believe it or not. I started crying because I was happy, for the first time in my life I cried because I was happy and because of everything that was changing around me. All of a sudden I didn't just care about myself, but I started to care about all beings in the world, even animals and even strangers, My whole world got filled with light and I started to feel this bliss and happiness throughout the whole day, even a week later still. Even up until now, moments of happiness and bliss come and go. I know now what my task is in this world, to become more aware live in constant awareness of Absolute truth and to help others planting seeds for their awakening. To the reader Please try to understand that the key to peace on earth is inner peace (self-realization). Be conscious and conscious about consciousness. Awaken your true self (your spiritual self) in order to obtain enlightenment. You may stop trying to fill the whole with earthly desires, because you are the one you've been searching for all along. Meaning, this eternal sense of bliss and happiness cannot be found when you reach outward, but rather reach inward. Don't look external, look internal. While I'm talking about knowledge, that is beyond this phenomenal world, please don't try to understand absolute truth through worldy/earthly concepts and words. Give up all these concepts and inquire into the nature of your being (the true self). Ask yourself the right questions: how did we all happen to be? And if you continue in the realm of intellect (trying to understand the divine through these concepts and words) you will become entangled and lost in more and more concepts. We must all give love in order to receive love, Hell is on earth and it's a state of mind that's why the world is so desperately in need of love. We must all enter into the kingdom of the one infinite source which is heaven and you enter that kingdom once you have become enlightened by the divine itself, I say this once more, the Absolute truth must stumble upon you, you cannot stumble upon it. I've added a diagram for the believers to give a deeper understanding of the surfaces of consciousness. I'm giving you all love and peace into your journeys, if anyone has any questions i'd be happy to answer them

That's like saying, what if a man and woman are the exactly same thing, expect the man has a dick. That's a pretty important difference. The awakened person realizes he is God. The derealized person does not. There is no glass between the awakened person and the world, the awakened person IS the whole world. And the awakened person has surrendered to it.