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@The Awakened Viking good point about the being paradigm. Perhaps I was not very clear. LSD is not my first time. My previous dose was about 120 ug. I’m still processing that along with my other backlog (mushrooms and just meditation/contemplation logs). I feel like doing LSD again because it gave me a breakthrough in emotional maturity. You can read my LSD trip log about it on this forum. I’m no way doing LSD again before processing my own backlog. I also don’t care about bragging. Little silly to brag about 250 ug of LSD. I’m somebody who is uptight with emotions and no passion for anything. LSD released some emotion in me that I used to motivate me to meditate/contemplate and so on.

If I answer “yes” it’s a lie. If I answer “no” it’s a lie. And of corse both answers are also true and partially true. Such is the case with dualistic constructs. Consider the infinite relativity in this question. What is meant by “awakened”. What is meant by “absolutely”. What is meant by “you”. Any definition would also be relative, with another underlying relativity.

This is is a trap dynamic that can arise with psychedelics, yet I wouldn’t call it an “awakening trap”. I think calling it a mystical experience trap would be more accurate. When I first used psychedelics, it was like being rocketed to a higher conscious state. Some states were pleasurable, some were not - yet they were all mystical experiences that revealed insights and new abilities. It was like having the greatest enlightened teacher or being able to travel to different realms. There was an energetic shift from figuring things out and reading literature and spiritual teachers - to the actual direct experience - and they only way to get there was through psychedelics, which created a cycle of expansion and contraction. The more blissful the experience, the higher likelihood of experience chasing. Ram Dass explains this cycle well in the below article. . . For me, some of my trips were very unpleasant. I entered anxiety and insanity zones that would take me days or weeks to recover from. This reduced the blissful experience chasing. For me, there was attraction, yet also trepidation with trips. Part of me didn’t want to revisit those uncomfortable places and there was some resistance/trepidation when approaching a new trip. At a personal level, one thing with psychedelics is that one’s baseline conscious level increases. When I was a newbie before my first Ayahuasca ceremony, I was asking the guy next to me a bunch of questions. I saw reality as if there is my normal sober state and a higher psychedelic state. One thing he told me was “those two worlds gradually come together”. In a way this was intriguing. In another way, this was scary. I couldn’t imagine it at the time, yet I now know what he meant. I’ve been through cycles of psychedelic states - not so much to escape a sober reality - more so to gain new access to high states. For a while it was like psychedelics gave me a magic wand. I got new super powers of hyper empathy, omniscience and extremely high level imagination and integration. And there came a time, I wanted to be able to do it without psyches. I would go hiking in the woods and everything felt bland - I couldn’t communicate with trees, wind and birds. I couldn’t become the creator of the forest. It was like I didn’t have my magic cape. A couple things I would keep in mind. The way you talk about psychedelics and how amazing they are does not sound like an awakening dynamic. It sounds like a mindstate/experience dynamic to me. There is an attachment/identification that psychedelic states are “amazing” relative to sober states. And there is a seeking to leave sober states and enter psychedelic states. The larger the bad to good distance in the cycle, the stronger the seeking. As the two world grow closer together, the intensity of this seeking declines. For example, I started experiencing amazing psychedelic-like states while sober and experienced crappy sober-like states tripping. As I would go into the woods, it didn’t really matter if I took a psychedelic or not. I felt like I was already half-tripping and I thought “I kinda like the present moment as it is. Why try to change it?”. There would then be months that went by without tripping. I was neither grasping or pushing it away. The present moment is the present moment, whether it is sober or a psychedelic. It’s both ISness. Psychedelic and sober mindstaes - both ISness. And what is psychedelic or sober starts to break down. Experiential states can be very insightful, yet it is not awakening. An awakened state vs an unawakened state is a duality. Absolute Awake is unconditional. It is not dependent on any mind state. It is eternally present Here and Now. In the essay below, Ram Dass talks about the cycle of chasing blissful psychedelic states and associating “there” with a psychedelic state. Ime, this is certainly a dynamic with psychedelics and I think he explains it well. Yet I would say he over-generalizes that this is the only relationship with psychedelics. What he describes is just one dynamic, there are many others with psychedelics and I’m a bit surprised Ram Dass never experienced outside this dynamic. He did a lot of psychedelics, yet stayed within this dynamic. Each of us has our own resonance and relationship with psyches, yet it’s still perplexing. It is like someone living in Australia for years and only talking about the dangers of the Australian outback. While that is certainly true, there is much more - The Sydney Opera House, kangaroos, koala bears, the coral reef etc. And for someone to travel around Australia for years and never see this other stuff is a real head-scratcher for me. At any rate, he does describe the cycle of bliss chasing well, imo. https://www.ramdass.org/the-trap-of-psychedelic-experiences/

@Marek never said it can’t help with your practices and journey, of course it can. all I’m saying is it’s very clear you don’t HAVE to eat a certain way to awaken, I’m I’m not saying certain lifestyles wont effect us in different ways. awakened or not, eat a load of junk and drink soda all day and you’ll probably get fat and of course that won’t feel great in your body. does it mean you can’t be overweight and awakened? Of course not, there’s plenty of overweight enlightened beings. not every fruitarian is fully awakened, and not every self realised being is fruitarian. can it help some people? Of course it can. If you add any form of “rules” to awakening, you still have a long way to go. don’t get me wrong, I want as many people to go vegan as possible to see an end to factory farming and animal abuse but I’m also realistic and this won’t happen for hundreds of years if ever I doubt, and then meat will just be sold on the black market. Also, if you add in Raw, that’ll put many people off- can’t go out to eat hardly, even more awkward to cook for etc, as Leo said you have to think about more than just pure health sometimes. I’m glad that Raw is working for you and on your awakening journey

I think a few days ago I just awakened. I faced most of my fears I now I can see how stupid all of them are. I also realized that enlighment is not some heaven like place or deep meditation state. Enlighmemt is awarness of the present moment. It's literally omnipresense. Life is for me so smooth and effortless. I've realized how stupid and unnecessary problems of most people are. All the party small talk All the loneliness Depression Caring for others, social games and obligations( brothet, husband, fad etc) I could never in my wildest dreams imagined enlighment to be that way It's so smooth but and the same it's extremely scary I don't even know for sure if I exist or not I feel like I'm floating above the notions of life and death, existence and non existence I dont know how far I can go on this path and where it will end I dont know if I should go further in that road its scary as fuck

I honestly agree to some extent. He's gotta watch himself integrating this powerful new awakening while handling a spiritual community. It's not easy. The dude might be self-biasing himself into believing that since he's now fully awakened that he is now flawless and whatever he feels right to say is the absolute. He's gotta be extra careful and watch himself like a hawk As for the amazon thing it doesn't really matter. Who the hell cares? Just focus on you. It's easy to point out all the criticisms in others. Not so easy seeing the hundreds in yourself...

A couple of people have already asked me about semen retention and I thought I would post the very simple technique by which it can be achieved, here: There really isn't that much to it, it's a fairly simple technique that requires some practice. I did do a bit of Yoga beforehand, so I was more aware of my individual muscles and how to clench and release them than most people, I suppose. The muscle you need to strengthen is the one responsible for holding urine back. You need to locate this and clench and hold it for as long as you can, then release it, repeatedly. You should do this several times a day until it gets strong enough to hold not only urine, but ejaculate back. At this point, when you get to the point of no return, in the few seconds before ejaculation, you need to clench this muscle as intensely as you can manage and hold it until the ejaculatory contractions end. Then, when you release it at first there might still be some semen seeping through, but with practice, you can have a completely dry orgasm. Usually, you will stay hard and can continue with intercourse, but second time round, you will last much longer and it will actually be quite hard for you to come, plus the erection seems to last a lot longer too. This also has the added benefit of providing all the energetic benefits of nofap, but you can still have sex as much as you want and experience dry orgasms, which is similar to the kind of non-ejaculatory orgasm women experience. I still recommend letting yourself ejaculate about once a week, it will provide most of the benefits, without any health concerns. Just as a note, this technique is effective in combatting erectile disfunction, premature ejaculation and a low sex drive. Plus, the ladies really appreciate it, as you can imagine. The last time I practiced it, my gf at the time was able to orgasm several times, whilst I just kept going. Also, maybe it was my imagination and my girlfriend remarked on it too, but my manhood seemed larger and harder than usual, which was again much appreciated. I don't practice semen retention any more as I have been completely celibate for years now and this is a low-level tantric practice for beginners, but it can have pretty positive side-effects quite apart from the spiritual benefits. My current practice is urdhvareta, a much more advanced tantric technique, whereby all sexual energies and seminal fluids are subsumed and transformed at the base of the spine and stream upwards into the spinal column and into the brain, on a continuous basis. For this to occur, a fully awakened Kundalini is a prerequisite.

Raw vegan diet or fruitarianism has totally changed my life since I've started experimenting with it probably 8 years ago. For example, Dr. Robert Morse has become awakened in his twenties, when he lived 6 months exclusively on oranges . This is must read for everybody who is interested in the Truth about human diet. The Great Lymphatic System.pdf

Full acceptance and self love is the practices I would suggest, but it isn't always easy especially when there's a lot of self hatred and repression in the shadow. Also, it sounds like you may be in the stage of spirituality where you don't know yourself. This is surprisingly often a really good sign, as you're questioning who you are, it's not easy though, and the answer will only ever be found in the silence, here and now. Keep going until there is no doubt, and the absolute peace and happiness shine through your being. However, always remember, no matter how awakened you become you're still always the absolute having a human experience, with a human personality and human desires. Therefore, your sexuality is something you certainly need to fully accept and embrace, we are all The Self, yet on a human level there is nobody who will ever be exactly like us. The great paradox of awakening I'd recommend watching the show Sex Education on Netflix, there's a character Eric, who is gay but his family know but don't want to admit it in season 1 if you get me? He's also black, so I feel his dad thinks it will make it even harder for him if he is gay. It's a really moving story of struggling (his family is Christian) to accept himself for who he is, so actually going through a deep stage of repression, before fully expressing himself at the end of S1. It's also a great show in general covering lots of issues, Panseuxlaity is also covered in S2. I'm paraphrasing but Eric says something along the lines of 'It took me a long time to love myself, and I can't risk losing that again and being with someone who clearly doesn't accept or love themself, I'm sorry.' Like I said, great show and you might be able to relate to many of the issues presented

@Tanuj wow, I always heard that many people got their kundalini awakened with a little psychedelic help. Can you link us the guided kundalini awakening meditation?

@Santhiphap There’s a lot of classic overthinking which is sucking the energy & zapping the creativity, so to speak. The thoughts are being entertained / believed, based on a foundational belief that there is an ego. This is the floor if you will, upon which self referential thinking..or ‘twoness’ in thinking... “I beat up on myself” for example, is perpetuated. It seems you developed an inner monologue of a polarity....”the ego”...or “awakened”. It is only the believing of thoughts about yourself...there’s no such thing as “the ego”. “The ego” = these thoughts you’re believing. Inspect them instead. Each occurrence of inspection and ‘seeing through’ each thought, is a “step into now”, where all the feeling & inspirations awaits like an ocean of consciousness. If I can help, say the word.

I am aware that the problems I am working on are probably pretty simple but you know how it goes when ego is putting itself in the spotlight. I have a quiet confused mind right now so please excuse the long read which purpose is mainly to structurize my thoughts a bit to be able to explain the situation. And I know I should pick up my meditation habit again.. Anyway.. Lets take a step back to about 1-2 weeks ago. I had almost a week of days feeling totally fine. I have worked through so much stuff in the last couple months that it felt like I finally reached a state of complete inner equilibrium. My ego had nothing to complain, nothing to work for, nothing to put itself into the foreground. I can't remember a time when I have ever had this state as deeply and as long as this time. I was happy but not in the sense of what most people think of being happy. It was all just ok as it is. Which led me to having and experience of getting a feeling for a little stage of awakening I think. I had many moments in which I felt like I could understand how everything of me and my surroundings is just this one unexplaineable conciousness. How everything I see, feel, hear etc. is being observed and how that observer could be everything itself. Usually I would start to have a deep loving feeling evolving in those moments forcing a smile upon my face. Now obviously, I fell out of that experience. The ego has lots of complains, one of them being the failure of staying in that state but I mean, thats not too bad, I have trust that that state will come back at the destined time. The other triggers of ego seem to be a very reoccurring thing all throughout my life which is why I am typing this. Those triggers are usually (untrue-) goals and/or failures. The last couple of years I have had the chance to almost live life from moment to moment. I mean, there are always tasks in life popping up that "must be done". Must be done in order to still be able to fit into society, must be done in order to "succeed". Things that must be done even though I'd rather do something that is coming right from the moment im in. And I feel like those are one of the biggest factors that throw me out of balance. At this point it is probably time to tell you about a deep inner belief I have. I guess I have an inner belief that if I'd have enough money to not care about it the rest of my life, I would just live from moment to moment, letting ego go its way, accepting that and being just ok with everything as it passes by resulting in becoming more and more conscious and closer to awakenings. But back to those tasks that "must be done". They are usually pretty simple and "stupid". Lemme give you an example. For a while now, I am working on finding my passions and the right job for them with a coach. Now my interests and passions have been shifting a lot over the past and lately I finally felt like the search has come to an end for now. If money wasn't a factor I would choose music/sound production as its my favorite medium for expressing myself. (Expressing myself has become a big part of growing lately. Giving my ego what it wants but still staying calm, observing, reflecting and learning from those outbursts of expression while accepting that (judged good or bad) those are required to grow and I am not beating myself up much anymore about it.) So long story short, I planned I was gonna write a little unsolicited application to send out to different studio producers telling them how passionate I am and asking them for some advice or even if I could stop by and get a short glimpse of what their day at work looked like so I can find the place thats right for me. Then the phase that I described above in the first couple paragraphs, the "complete inner equilibrium" phase started. It was great but.. I actually wasn't inspired to do any effort in the direction of that application task anymore, nor any other tasks that I had on my list unless life took turns to "organically" direct me to those tasks. I tried to sit down to produce some music but I didn't have any inspiration because there was nothing, no deep emotions to express because everything was alright. I thought about writing the application letter but I didn't feel emotionally invested in it anymore which at least in my head made it hard to believe I could express my passion to music and sound in the application letter. I knew I could probably let myself fade out of that phase and back into a more ego/emotional/passionate state but I didn't because that meant I would go "back" to identifying myself/ego with my passion for music. Even if it is the one thing that feels like it should be the last thing I stop to identify with, in that state of inner equilibrium I didn't "want" to go back to. In that state any form of re-identification results in a step away from that state of inner equilibrium. From what I heard its possible to be conscious enough to let ego do itselfs identification process and still stay in a kind of awakened state but it takes time and experience which is why for me right now I feel like its mandatory to make the most of those times. My thoughts on solutions to this "dilemma": 1. Do everything as soon as I can so I dont lose connection to the purpose of the task. Predestined to fail sometimes, though it would be possible to improve and get better at it. 2. I will write that application letter today as I am back in the ego identified state anyway now, reflect afterwards how its changing me and move on. I am gonna give into ego for now and let it do its part. 3. I will pick up my meditation habit again in hopes it will help me balance and control my shifts to and away from the identification with ego. It wasn't easy to write the last part cause I know how its kind of faulty in itself and it feels kind of dumb to think I can realize that lifestyle of just always acting from the moment. If you have some advice please let me know Thanks for taking the time to read this anyway!

@Dumuzzi Hey man, here just some points from reading what you wrote. Firstly, you're treating spirituality as another religion, saying things have you read the Bhagavad Gita, as if that is the only way to practice spirituality, and that just because lots of cultures and traditions like Buddhism and Tantra promote celibacy means it's best. For one, you're not at all taking in any sort of context of these societies and or traditions. Eastern culture is VERY religious and traditional, you could argue a very Stage Blue society in terms of SD stages, just because people have awakened does that mean they are psychologically developed. A lot of Zen monasteries are very stage Blue kind of places as an example. The Buddha didn't want Women becoming Monks at first is another example. These cultures that advocate no sex before marriage tend to be these sort of cultures, very traditionalist kind of places, this often causes a repression of Sex into the shadow which creates a fuck load more issues than PUA, I mean everyone's heard multiple stories of Priests (meant to be ultra religious) raping and molesting young children (usually boys in the leaked stories) and where do you think that comes from? Repression of sex into the shadow, in a forced manner that eventually is expressed in the most disgusting of ways imaginable. These are meant to be 'Holy Men' yet are comitting the most vile of acts? Something isn't adding up there to me. Same for Buddhist monks as well, forced celibacy does way more harm than good not only in society, but in an individual as well. https://www.washingtonpost.com/gdpr-consent/?destination=%2fnational%2fon-faith%2fbhtuans-buddhist-monks-accused-of-sexually-molesting-boys%2f2013%2f06%2f20%2fe6f16268-d9e9-11e2-b418-9dfa095e125d_story.html%3f https://www.thedailybeast.com/ihttps://www.nytimes.com/topic/organization/roman-catholic-church-sex-abuse-casesnside-tibetan-buddhisms-rape-and-abuse-scandal https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/08/top-chinese-buddhist-monk-accused-coercing-nuns-sex-fired-180830140710906.html https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-44209971 The way you're talking about sounds quite dogmatic to me, as if Celibacy is superior to having Sex on a spiritual path, which isn't true at all. To me it also shows you haven't had any/many awakenings, or are still viewings teachings as Dogma, instead of the finger pointing to the moon. Now I'm not saying everyone should go fuck everyone in sight, instead I'm saying people should express their sexuality in a way that feels natural to them (of course consensual and with people over the age of consent) for the majority that will mean in a monogamous relationship, for some that may mean lots of casual flings and for others having multiple partners, and for others (i.e. Ramana Maharshi) NATURAL Celibacy where they have decided, by themselves, they don't want to participate in sex or have sexual relationships, but from their own choice, not from some scripture written on a bit of paper. True awakenings will show you complete freedom, and how all teachings and all concepts are just that CONCEPTS that need to be dropped, same as morals, values and ethics. Yes, for the majority of the population they are needed (all you need to do is watch the Purge to see why) however, with deep awakenings you see morals are also just concepts, and abiding as The Self, needs no sort of moral compass as the Peace, Love and Happiness inherent in The Self is enough. In terms of the PUA community, like anything else, it has MAJOR issues and flaws. Most of this comes from it being used in a predominately Stage Orange world which objectifies women and sees them as a number on their lay count instead of a human being and seeing them as their very own Self. However, this doesn't mean people should 'wait until marriage for spiritual purification reasons' or because Tantra said so (The Tantric path is actually very life-enhancing at is's core, another post for another day though) but means PU needs to evolve to become more conscious and loving just like most things. You can gain a LOT of social, seduction, sexual and relationship skills from good PU believe it or not, but most PUA's are operating from a typical Orange mindset, so it's about taking the teachings and using them consciously and evolving them. The first Enlightened PUA& Dating/ Relationship coach will be revolutionary and very interesting to see. Oh, and in terms of Spirituality, having an orgasm doesn't mean you can't become enlightened lol, sure some practices as you said can involve harnessing sexual energy, but that doesn't mean you HAVE to, I always say go with what you are guided towards and feels natural to you, but don't make out it's the only path. I'm big on working 1-1 with a teacher and RASA but doesn't mean I don't see that Psychedelics, Meditation retreats, etc etc all can work as well, just like being a monk can help awaken you and is the path for some people. Also, have some Deep awakenings, I'm sure you'll drop a lot of your judgement towards sexuality Of course it evolves with this understanding like everything else in your Life post-awakening. I do just feel the whole 'Sex Before Marriage' argument is very Stage Blue and often leads to repression of sexuality. Lastly, here's a video from Rupert Spira (someone I hold in the highest regard, I.E. 'Fully Awake') and he explains this topic very well!

Eckhart was into spirituality before he awakened. He wasn't snoring crack and banging 20 chicks on crack. He was doing his inner work. There are no shortcuts

@The Awakened Viking Yeah I studied in Spain for 4 months. Cost is much higher here in the United States and I am taking out student loans for school. I already have a lot of money I have to pay back for a major that I love but can't provide value directly out of college. The Ralston apprenticeship would line completely up with my values, life purpose, and lifestyle that I want. but I would be missing a chunk of school for it.

You don't need to stop dating or having sex to awaken. Many awakened people have sex. In fact I would say most of them.

Yes, and I'm pointing out to you that Jesus was an avatar. The Godhead cannot be hated or loved by people because only the awakened know that a Godhead even exists. You can't see the Godhead, only its avatar.

I met him! Very cool guy. Chris Bache said that for a while he was just waiting to die. He wasn't permanently awakened, and he seemed to think he wasn't going to ever attain it without the psychedelic state.

Prophet/Messenger 1. The desire of the negative spirit to break out of the sphere of pure impossibility creates the phenomenon of prophet within objective reality. 2. The phenomenon of prophet is a manifestation of that which is outside of reality. Which is pure impossibility. 3. Thus, the prophet is the first manifestation of a totally OTHER. 4. In the phenomenon of the prophet, the negative spirit expresses itself as the will to totally OTHER. 5. This will, expressed as a message, is a real thought about OTHER. 6. The subjective spirit cannot realize its actual birth without this thought. 7. In essence, the phenomenon of prophet within objective reality is the true birth of a subjective spirit. 8. In this birth, a fundamental conflict between the subjective and the objective transforms into immediate reality. 9. The prophet carries out an absolute opposition to objective being. 10. Therefore, the phenomenon of prophet does not remove and does not resolve the conflict between the subjective and objective. 11. The essence of the prophet excludes the very possibility of unity of both. 12. Prophet presupposes a metaphysical irreducibility of subjective and objective principles to each other. 13. The prophet is by no means a creature created by the space program of I. 14. This means that he is free from the universal mechanism of personal experience working on this program. 15. The intrinsic nature of the prophet basically excludes the very idea of perception and experience embodied in beings. 16. The internal nature of the prophet is fully alien to any ontological experience. 17. The prophet realises the absolute anti-mind nature of the subjective principle. 18. Therefore, his message cannot be the discovery of any ontologically rooted truths, including Truth from capital T. 19. The prophet carries out his appearance outside of cosmic duration. 20. The content of his message is out of touch with the objective rock. 21. The prophet comes contrary to the expectation in which the being abides. 22. His coming destroys the very foundations of universal hope. 23. His mission is not to heal a damaged being. 24. The mission of the prophet is the transformation of an insoluble conflict between subjective and objective into a merciless titanic confrontation. 25. In this confrontation, the subjective spirit can only be either totally destroyed or triumphed over objective being. 26. The death of the subjective spirit means the complete expulsion of the masculine principle from reality. 27. Reality, devoid of the masculine principle, is the complete triumph of universal arbitrariness, in which the very thought of OTHER disappears. 28. For objective being, the thought of OTHER is the essence of ontological sin. 29. Through the destruction of this only masculine thought, salvation of the damaged ontology is carried out. 30. Therefore, the prophet, as the embodiment of a subjective spirit, is in a titanic confrontation with the principle of salvation. 31. Orientation to the prophet means for the creature to abandon his share in objective reality. 32. In this denial within the being, the aspirations towards fantastic being are affirmed. 33. The aspiration towards the fantastic being is a secret thought which underlies the subjective principle. 34. This secret thought is an interpretation of reality from the outside. 35. Such an interpretation has nothing to do with how reality perceives itself. 36. The inner self-experience of reality is an explicit thought. 37. The overwhelming activity of the universal mind is embodied in this explicit thought. 38. As an explicit thought, reality is a direct consciousness of self-identity. 39. In contrast, a secret thought is a vision of reality from the point of view of a negative spirit. 40. In this vision, reality comes down to a purely relative moment, which is rooted on the universal arbitrariness or objective rock. 41. Reality, as an explicit thought about oneself, is a kind of anti-message from rock. 42. This anti-message is evidence that reality and absolute are mutually exclusive. 43. The true decoding of this anti-message is contained only in secret thought. 44. The secret thought in its vision of the true absolute proceeds from fundamental unreality of true absolute. 45. Therefore, the very vision of the true absolute is generally nothing more than a purely volitional or wilfull act. 46. This volitional act implies that only what is absent can be authentic. 47. Therefore, a purely volitional act, born of a secret thought, is an act of faith. 66. The faith monologue, having no answer, is oriented towards what can only be defined as HE. 67. The prospect of transcendental fulfillment of the subjective spirit is expressed in the pronoun HE. 68. A secret thought implies that HE is the personal embodiment of a complete split with the continuous homogeneity of the immanent oneness. 69. The monologue, whose center is HE, is the factual material of the true message. The core of it is: Say: HE, absent one, is Allah. 70. The pathos of the true message is that it rejects the achievement and affirms the accomplishment. 71. This accomplishment consists in replacing objective reality with a fully revealed subjective spirit. 72. This accomplishment is absolute awakening, as a triumph of prophetic mission. And this awakening has nothing to do with awakened nature of self-aware reality.

It's so simple, envision/dream, appreciate, love, and when it seems like you can't, meditate and get in touch with that which is limitless love. I assumed that my husband and others were responsible for their actions. I didn't understand that the reactions and interaction I get from people is my responsibility. Ironically when I believed he was responsible I tried to take on responsibility for the results, responsibility that was his, and thought that taking on the mental burden of perceived deficiencies was what was necessary to have the life I wanted. As that failed and failed, I tried less and loved less. When you love someone less, you love yourself less. When you love yourself more, you love everyone else more. You cannot separate these. I don't know why I didn't do this with my kids as much. I think because they are so young, I didn't expect anything from them and understood that my responsibility was truly, in a practical nature my responsibility. I forgave them for everything and put all the blame on my partner. There was an exception to that though, I fell into resenting the kids themselves in a big way last year and The Empowered Wife book's suggestions of appreciating self care helped me more in that area than with my husband. It's almost incomprehensible that I read and enjoyed The Empowered Wife book last year, had an awakening, "understood" the Law of Attraction and stayed so blind, so long in this area. Of course this feeling is ego. It's the remnants of thinking I was good and intelligent and now grappling with the understanding that that was a flawed belief. How pervasive the need to be "good" is that one will sell their own soul just to identify with one out of fear of the other. I didn't read that book for me, I read it for my friend, to connect with her, and to prove that I was open-minded to conservative anti-feminist bullshit. Instead I found pure Law of Attraction, minus a few personal reflections of the author's own examined side. It is a very dangerous thing, to look and see these flaws in a book, or a person, and focus on them and fail to respect and receive the gift that is there for you. I know that all along, my resistance to the law of attraction and anything associated with positive psychology, was a deep deep desire and commitment to truth. I should have known, the truth is, it's all fantasy. The deep love I had of all the stories and fairy tales of my childhood exist in every moment. The truth is it's all imagination. After I awakened to this, I fucked off for a really long time. (Of course it's flawed perception/story telling to not love myself for needing some time.) The duality between fantasy and reality persisted, I thought that I wanted fantasy and magic, to the exclusion and repression of reality. What I really wanted was integration of the two. It took this long to see that that is what I want, not what I should do. There is no acceptance until there is desire of what is.

Both. Sometimes the moment ends and you find yourself in the presence of the person once more, and sometimes you part ways. Ultimately we part ways with everyone in some shape or form just so we can rediscover that everyone we've ever loved or been loved by lives in our heart, which is the essence of emotional oneness. It is a strange experience to have parted ways with friends I don't talk to anymore, and yet feel close to them just as much as I used to when we were in very frequent contact. There is no regret nor disappointment regarding the experience, just love and gratitude. I appreciate that question, however you are in the domain of trying to think it through and figure out. There is ultimately nothing wrong with thinking, but the belief is that if I can think this through enough, and know how this works, and understand the cycle of disappointment and sadness and whatever, I will be more prepared to feel the sadness within me and it won't hurt as much. Well that ain't gonna work :D. Sorry. Tragedy will always feel tragic, sadness will always feel sad and desperation will always feel desperate. There certainly are ways to take edge off the experience, such as enhancing self love, compassion and self-care, but there truly is no benefit in the anticipation of sadness. One of the benefits of any negative emotions is how sometimes surprising and inexplicable it can be. If it were all anticipated and predicted, we would be robbed of the joy of spontaneity that is bound to be born in the reality of every awakened heart. Is there a sadness and bliss theme? Yes, of course. It is very spontaneous.

There are 1000s of awakened people all over the planet. Most of them aren't celebrities so you won't hear about them. Don't limit your worldview to what is popular on YouTube. Some of the most awakened people are not in the public eye at all.

J. Krishnamurti said, “It is no measure of one’s health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” Identification with the egoic mind is the sickness and Samadhi is the cure. The saints, sages and awakened beings throughout history have all learned the wisdom of self-surrender. How is it possible to realize the true self? When you peer through the veil of Maya, and let go of the illusory self, what is left?

Still struggeling my brother. My mind has awakened, have had the realization some 3 years ago. But it has not yet anchored in my physicality. Haven't died yet lmao.

No, it all depends. Although in practice many awakened folks tend to run their own shops. Once you're that conscious it just doesn't makes sense to waste your consciousness working for some fool to earn him money. The point of awakening is that then you're in a great and rare position to help uplift the world. The world needs your conscious leadership. You don't awaken and then go work at Wall Street to make a killing, hehehe...