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There are LGBTQ people in your country. And they are beautiful people. They want to live a life to express their true self and love who they love - just like you do. The idea “There are no LGBTQ people in our country” is societal propaganda and programming. It is also of form of marginalization. Imagination can be a door to understanding. . . Imagine not being able to express your true self. Imagine you had to pretend like you were something you were not. If you expressed your true self, you would be rejected by your family and public. You would be stigmatized and ostracized. You would be threatened and beaten. . . Imagine the pain and suffering of hiding your true self from others. The mental anguish gets so bad that you struggle with suicidal thoughts and desires. . . . This is actuality: LGBTQ people have much higher rates of severe psychological issues and suicide due to societal stigmatization and ostracization. There are LGBTQ people in your country that would come out if safe. Now imagine being an advocate for LGBTQ. Imagine that you start a website as a safe place for LGBTQ people in your country. You ask to meet any LGBTQ people, so you may better support and love them. You organize social events in which LGBTQ people can come together and be safe to express themselves. You take initiatives to educate the public about LGBTQ in your community. . . How would this go over? How would you feel (not think) about doing this?

A couple of days ago he posted this then took it down. He hints that he’ll commit suicide and says his own adress. I really hope he gets through this alive.

This is the first time in my journal I'm opening up fully about the childhood trauma I went through. I went through a lot of trauma in childhood and also a lot of abuse in 3 abusive relationships. All of my 3 exes were abusive. The 2nd ex was extremely abusive and controlling. I was very close to death in that relationship that's when I broke it when I was admitted in the emergency ward. My liver had ruptured as a result of the continuous abuse of the relationship. That's when I decided to end it. This was in late in 2017. By December 2017, I met Joseph and I thought that I had found the love of my life. I was in recovery from liver damage when I found Joseph. The next two years went like a roller coaster and Joseph was extremely violent and abusive which I had no inkling of at first. He was very sweet in the beginning. I went through extensive trauma during this period where I slashed my wrist in the month of October 2018 where he was having a tensed argument with me and talked about breaking up with me. I flew in a rage because I felt exploited by him and immediately grabbed a knife and slashed myself. That's when he cooled down but he continued to threaten me.. From then on, it was a very on off relationship that I discussed at much length in the dating section. This was November 2019. That was probably my sixth attempt at breaking up with Joseph and I stopped talking to him at that time. I thought I had broken up with him but once again in January 2020 we started talking again so once again the abuse continued. It was finally March 13, 2020 that I was able to escape the relationship. I finally ended things with him for good. My first ex was also abusive but I ended that relationship in only 6 months. My childhood was brutal. I used to run away from home many many times. I made a successful attempt to run away from home at age 14. But I was brought back to my abusive mom. She was very violent and abusive with me. I started cutting myself early on to cope with her neglect and abuse My first suicide attempt was at 18. I tried to burn myself. But I was rescued by my family. I was considered a high risk for suicide and kept on suicide watch. My second suicide attempt was when I was 21 and I was unable to escape my abusive mother So one day I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and cut my wrists. I had extensive bleeding and hospitalization. My dad wouldn't stand up to my mom's abuse because he was being abused as well Still my dad helped me in trying to cope with the abuse I finally broke free just a few years ago, so now I live in a rented apartment but it's not easy. I have to sometimes take my mom to a psychiatrist frequently because she suffers mental breakdowns. My mom suffered from bipolar disorder for a very long time. That explains her violent and abusive behavior towards my dad and me She still suffers her bipolar episodes and she recently stopped her medication. The last time I visited her, just a month ago, she was very violent with me and I sustained some injuries after her attack. I was very traumatized as a child by her violence and abuse and that caused to seek refuge in relationships with men but these men turned out to be abusers as well. I noticed that whenever I opened up to my boyfriends about my mother's abuse, they would slowly change and become abusive towards me. It was as if they wanted to put fuel in the fire, instead of trying to help me out, they saw me as a opportunity to perpetrate their abuse on me After a long struggle and numerous suicide attempts and realizations, I finally got some freedom. I'm not completely free because I still have this dysfunctional bonding with my mother. I'm her caregiver. She is usually sick.. So I have to constantly take her to the hospital. I forgave her but sometimes I lash out at her for the stuff she put me through. It's a very dysfunctional estranged relationship that I share with my mother. I rarely talk about it to anyone. I try to do my duty as a daughter and take care of her in whatever way I can. But it is difficult for me to have feelings of love for my mother because of all the trauma I understand that her bipolar condition has been responsible for her physically and emotionally abusive behavior but at the same time all the trauma and abuse she put me through took a toll on my physical and mental health. So it's kinda hard for me to sympathize her I have to take care of her and her sickness and be there for her despite knowing that she is my abuser. This is a bit tough for me. I have to show love and care to a person who I trusted and who abused me all my life. This has created intense mental conflict in me. Despite all the self destructive behavior and trauma I went through, I always felt that I had a certain degree of duty towards my mom. I never forsake her After all she is my mom, even if she was the most horrible mom, the person responsible for all of my troubles and trauma, I sometimes let it go. But exactly when I let it go is when she gets more violent. I have been having some peace since being away from her. But whenever there is a doctor's appointment, I have to be with her and during times when she needs my help. I try to heal from alll the garbage I had to go through. I felt severely neglected as a child.. All of that could explain my chaotic behavior. My family was always dysfunctional. The earliest memory of abuse and violence is when I was 7 years old. There was not a single day that was free from the dysfunction.. I never knew what order or routine felt like. Everyday was a very uncertain day not knowing what to expect and what she would do. She would do anything. We as a family didn't know at the time that she was mentally ill. She was severely mentally ill. But my dad used to dismiss her behavior as mood swings and put up with her. My dad used to always be at work, he was a workaholic so there was no way for him to know the extent of the psychological damage happening to me at the hands of my mom. So overall I went through a very painful childhood and the trauma of 3 abusive failed relationships weighed heavily on me. I just hope that my future won't be so bad as my past. And I plan on healing myself completely from this garbage past.

I've been watching the whole situation with Connor pretty closely. I think people are exaggerating how much chasing girls and money contributed to his unhappiness. For someone like Connor, and I'm generalizing here, he doesn't really know about the potential that a high-consciousness lifestyle could bring. I'm sure he would have been perfectly content growing his Youtube channel and banging hot girls for the foreseeable future. What I think is really going on is he just wasn't ready for the absolute mindfuck that psychedelics shock you with. And he mentions that he has some substantial family problems, e.g. disapproval from his parents and being blamed for his sister's suicide attempt. Which of course, a deep trip will push all of that baggage straight to the forefront of your consciousness. And he doesn't have the infrastructure to deal with those complex issues. Really quite a shockingly sad story.

You could look at evidence for this, there are many people in the world that have all those things, try and workout whether they're truly happy. Or look at those who once seemed happy in that situation but have since renounced that life. Someone like Russel brand has had that kind of journey for example. There are quite a few that commit suicide even though they have that situation so that's another thing to consider

Yean, ifs this true why not break this cycle with assisted suicide, srs question´?

No need to suicide. This body is not you. Lol. Body will die not you. When the body dies you will be just here As nothing nowhere else Lol. You are not the body, you are the moment now, what you see everything is you and exist as nothing. Nothing can happen to you because you are nothing but aware. You are not the body, you are the thing that is aware of the body.

It wasn't salvia, but I experienced kind of the same. I was tripping with a friend who had a quite materialistic worldview. The trip was nice, but not so intense. Then we smoked some weed at the end when it was almost over. Suddenly It kicked back in and I became so much more conscious. I saw through the physiological reaction and face expressions that my friend would have the same experience. Then Infinity rolled over me and I was watching myself speaking to my friend, trying to convince him that this is really deep shit now and we are one and how wonderful it all is, that this shift of consciousness we simoultaniously experience can't be explained from a materialistic perspective until I finally realized what a fucking joke it was, that I just weren't conscious enough to realize that I'm imagining my friend. My ego was trying to get confirmation/verification but I imagined it all. I realized that I am completely lonely, the only way not to be conscious of it is to create such a solid reality with suffering, pain and fear which I try but can't run away from, that it seems completely real and I can believe to exist amongst others who could potentially end my existence the next moment. I kept talking (or better watching me talking) but now in tears, realizing I'm only talking to myself. That no matter what I do it can only be me answering, forever. And the answers would doubt everything I say, like the guardian of the matrix. That I invented terror, rape, murder, torture, everything just to keep myself from realizing my "real self" which I have to live through eternally with no suicide option. That I can only try to die or disappear by imagining to be something else and that this is obviosly what I wanted most otherwise this human ego wouldn't exist in the first place. Reality seemed like the process of running away from itself. I felt a lonelyness never felt before, infinite. I realized that of course, of course (!!!) I will always experience pain over and over again, because I have nothing else to do. Everything else gets boring, like a child playing alone in the sandbox forever. There needs to be this duality eternally, if it didn't it just wouldn't, because I'm eternal so I lived an infinite amount of time already and I still experience suffering, so obviously it needs to exist, its not a bug that can be ended one day forever. My dream of reaching enlightenment to end suffering became just a joke. A dream, reality running away from itself again. God wants to dive into the dualistic realm losing itself, otherwise it wouldn't. If everything was fine why ever change it? At most, to make it better. And if I experience here and now the human suffering, it's probably the best option. Rather a limited suffering human to maintain the belief in something "new"/"different" or "unexpected" and exspecially the belief in something better, some progress to completion or possibility of beeing able to make something better, rather these false beliefs than beeing the eternal same void, knowing to experince everything just for nothing. After some "time" I came back to earth again. I was really happy to have human problems again, a limited mind thinking about meaningless stuff, people around me and sensations and so on. I think the experience slowed me down a lot on my spiritual path. It all became kind of pointless. Reaching enlightenment now or in a billion years doesn't matter, since it is first of all not in my (human) hands to make it happen and secondly I will anyway come back to form again since I am here already, thirdly it's already perfect and nothing will ever really change. But there are also some good things about it. Realizing it won't really get better in the future forces you to make peace with the present. It's literally perfect, the best. Jealousy? For whom? Fear of death? Well, nice alternation, but nothing will really change. Pain? It's the price for your fun. And at least, I am open-minded enough (or just desperate enough?) to believe there is more to it. Maybe it's just one dimension, the Void or whatever you may call it, but I missed a whole different dimension like Love. I had other experiences, they were showing me different parts of reality. If God's mind is infinite, of course he will experience infinite lonelyness, how not so? But also infinite love. There could be so much more turning the tide in "the end". And I can't remember all of infinity right now, so from my here-and-now-perspective there's so much more to explore. I tricked myself into this illusion where i actually know nothing, and I can go on for eternity searching myself together. So even if it's all pointless/meaningless, at least I have a job now... .............................. All in all, definitely worth an experience! Since you have nothing else to do, why not look at reality from radical different angles? I love to get mindfucked. It's funny to know that it's not (only) you running away from god, but god itself (who else?)

In this specific case, if the guy couldn't take it and then committed suicide, it wouldn't hurt others. It'd only hurt people with spiritual concerns because then Ayahuasca would be demonised even more. People who stumble upon awakening are rarely understood by their communities. And speaking of rare; One friend of mine experienced a natural (without drugs) crisis several years ago, but then he received a lot of support from his social circle. Right now, he's stuck at stage Blue and the materialistic paradigm because of that. That support held him back in terms of growth. He still mainly acts from fear instead of love. And he has lots of neuroses as far as I can tell. I don't want to make generalisations and I don't know what would happen to him if I introduced him to actualized.org or spirituality. My intuition tells me it's not a good idea. But anyway, the point is, I guess, with more suffering comes more growth. Suffering gives rise to more purification.

@MrMog wow I really hope he didn't commit suicide. Guy have unlimited sex, is rich and it just shows you how mental illness doesn't care about it at all

MATCHING OF HOROSCOPE The various factors to be considered in match making in order of importance are :- 1. Longevity of partners. 2. Mental and psychological health. 3. Factors showing separation or divorce. 4. Compatibility of partners. The question of compatibility between partners will arise only if first 3 factors indicate that both are going to stay together. An approximate estimate of longevity of both the partners should be indispensable. What is needed is to examine the birth charts for premature death. If there is wide gap in longevity of two, then matching of other factors become redundant. The span of life is divided into 4 categories namely – (i) Balarishta (ii) Alpayu (iii) Madhyayu (iv) Purnayu. The life span between 40 to 75 years is described as Madhyayu, where as longevity beyond 75 years is considered as Purnayu. There are standard combinations of planets, which give idea of longevity of a person. Purnayu is indicated if benefics occupy kendras and Lagna lord is with benefics or aspected by Jupiter. Also when 3 planets in 8th house occupy exaltation, friendly and own sign respectively, long life is indicated. The same is the result when Saturn or 8th lord is conjoined with an exalted planet. The Lagna and Moon should be strong for long life. Mental and psychological health of the partner can also be examined by position of Lagna, Moon, sixth and eighth houses. The separation or divorce is also to be looked into by examining in detail 7th, 8th, and 9th houses. 7th houses is the house of marriage, 8th house rules ‘Mangalya’ i.e. strength of marital bond and 9th house rules ‘Sowhhagya’ or good fortune. The presence of 7th lord in 8th indicates chances of separation. 289 Mutual disposition of Mars and Venus plays a very important role in marriage. Venus is associated with spouse, material comforts, sex harmony, physical beauty etc, where as Mars abounds in energy, aggressiveness and in association with Venus gives a tendency to excess of sensual gratification. Venus-Mars disposition although an important factor for physical attraction but in the absence of Jupiter’s or even Saturn’s benign influence, real compatibility between partners may be lacking. Venus–Mars conjunction makes one fond of pleasure, demonstrative and adds a zest to one’s sensual life. Therefore after examining basic structure of horoscope of partners, it is ensured that long married life is indicated. When this assurance is indicated, question of compatibility of partners comes into picture which is examined by ‘Mangali Dosha’ and ‘Gana’ agreement. ‘Mangali Dosha’ means harmful effects of Mars. Among the malefic planets, Mars has come to enjoy such an important role in breaking of marriages that the harmful influence of Mars has come to be known as ‘Mangali Dosha’ and boy or girl having defective influence of Mars in the horoscope is generally known as ‘Mangali’ boy or ‘Mangali’ girl. Why the Mars gets such an importance in the matter of marriage ? The interaction of Moon and Mars causes menstruation in a woman every month when the Moon is passing through Apachayasthana from ascendant. The Moon controls the fluid matter of a woman while Mars signifies the blood and combination of two is cause of menses. The process of progeny and pregnancy depends exclusively on menstruation cycle in females. Mars is lord of blood system in all human beings. Semen in males get formed through the process of blood system. Therefore progeny is not possible without blessing of Mars. Apart from this Mars is a fiery planet and rules warmth in human body, energy, strength, courage, bravery, organizing ability, feelings of brotherhood etc. Mars is also the lord of 290 skin, the outer dress of body. Influence of Mars alone can create another body and another life. Astrologers have determined the houses from where Mars adversely influences and affects the 7th house, which is concerned with marriage, the married life and relationship with spouse. If Mars is in 1st, 2nd, 4th , 7th , 8th and 12th house in a horoscope, native is said to suffer with ‘Mangali Dosha’. The Lagna represents body, the Moon represents the mind and Venus the sexual organs. Therefore houses are reckoned from Lagna, Moon and Venus. The dosha is considerably weak when it exists from Lagna, a little stronger from the Moon and still more powerful from Venus. ‘Mangali Dosha’ gets cancelled if it is there in horoscope of both the bride and bridegroom. The Mars in the 1st house indicates annoyance, anger, irritation and disturbed state of mind of self, in the 2nd house presence of Mars may lead to financial breakdown, loss by cheating and violence between husband and wife. Presence of Mars in 4th house adversely affects the domestic atmosphere and in the 7th house introduces element of fire between husband and wife. In 8th house Mars acts as ‘Marak’ for spouse and person is involved in extra – marital relations. In 12th house, it may lead to wasteful expenditure, punishments, disturbance in the sleeping comforts, venereal diseases, extramarital sex etc. There are several combinations referred in astrological texts, which nullify harmful effects of Mars. There are total 36 Ganas and in the Gana agreement, compatibility of partners is examined from various points of view relevant to happy married life. The various aspects and points assigned to them are :- 1. VARNA - 1 2. VASYA - 2 3. TARA - 3 4. YONI - 4 5. MATCHING OF LORDS OF MOON – SIGNS - 5 291 6. GANA - 6 7. BHAKOOT (MATCHING OF MOON SINGS ) - 7 8. NADI - 8 VARNA : The Varnas as per Moon- signs are as under :- Varna kshtriya vaishya shudra brahman Moon Aaries Taurus Gemini Cancer Signs Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Varna indicates capacity of native to shoulder responsibility of family. To run the family smoothly, it is considered necessary that Varna of boy is better than of that of girl. Depending on Varnas of boy and girl, points are assigned as under :- Varna of Boy Varna of Girl Brahman Kshtriya Vaishya Shudra Brahman 1 0 0 0 Kshtriya 1 1 0 0 Vaishya 1 1 1 0 Shudra 1 1 1 1 If Varna of boy is lower than that of girl then if lord of boy’s Moonsign is of better Varna, then marriage is considered compatible in respect of Varna. The Varnas of different planets are – JUP – VEN - BRAHMAN SUN – MARS - KSHTRIYA MER – MOON - VAISHYA SATURN - SHUDRA VASYA :- This agreement is very important for mutual attraction between husband and wife. The Vasya are of following five types : 1. CHATUSHPAD 2. MANAV ( DWIPAD) 3. JALCHAR 4. VANCHAR 5. KEET The Vasyas of different signs are as under :- Aries – Chatushpad, Taurus – Chatushpad, Gemini – Manav (Dwipad), Cancer – Keet and Jalchar, Leo – Vanchar and 292 Chatushpad, Virgo – Manav, Libra – Manav, Scorpio – Keet, Sagittarius – Manav and Chatushpad, Capricorn – Chatushpad and Jalchar, Aquarius – Manav, Pisces – Jalchar. VASYA means capacity to control others. Depending upon nature and behaviour VASYAS have been classified in four categories namely – Vasya, Friend, Enemy, Bhakshya. If Vashyas of boy and girl are friends 2 points are given, if one is Vasya and other Enemy 1 point, if one is Vasya and other is Bhakshya ½ point and if they are mutual enemies or Bhakshya they do not get any point. The points given depending on Vasyas of boy and girl are as under :- Vasya of Boy Vasya of Girl Chatushpad Manav Jalchar Vanchar Keet Chatushpad 2 ½ 1 ½ 1 Manav ½ 2 0 0 0 Jalchar 1 0 2 2 2 Vanchar ½ 0 2 2 0 Keet 1 0 2 0 2 TARA :- Taras are of 9 types namely Janm, Sampat, Vipat, Kshem, Pratyari, Sadhak, Vadha, Mitra, Atimitra. Out of these 9, Vipat, Pratyari and Vadha are considered inauspicious. Tara signifies likely problems in married life. Inauspicious Tara indicates differences in thinking of boy and girl. To find out Tara of boy count from Nakshtra of boy to Nakshtra of girl and divide the same by 9 and depending on remainder which may be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 0, Tara is found in the same sequence as mentioned above. Similarly Tara of girl can be found out by counting Nakshtra of boy from girl. The points for Vasya are given as under:- 293 Tara of Tara of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Girl Boy1 3 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 3 2 3 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 3 3 1 ½ 1 ½ 0 1 ½ 0 1 ½ 0 1 ½ 1 ½ 4 3 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 3 5 1 ½ 1 ½ 0 1 ½ 0 1 ½ 0 1 ½ 1 ½ 6 3 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 3 7 1 ½1 ½ 0 1 ½ 0 1 ½ 0 1 1 8 3 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 3 9 3 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 1 ½ 3 3 Asvini - Horse Magha – Rat Moola – Dog Bharani – Elephant P.Phalguni – Mongoose Purvashdha – Monkey Krittika - Goat U. Phalguni - Camel Uttarashadha – Cow Rohini – Snake Hasta – Ox Shravana – Monkey Mrigsira – Snake Chitra – Tiger Dhanishtha – Female (Human) Ardra – Dog Swati – Bufallow Shatbhisha – Horse Punarvasu – Cat Vishakha – Tiger Poorva Bhadrapad – Male(Human) Pushya – Ram Anuradha – Deer U. Bhadrapad – Cow Ashlesha - Cat Jyeshtha – Deer Revati – Elephant MATCHING OF LORDS OF MOON SIGNS :- The relationship between lords of Moon – signs of boy and girl is found out and points depending upon the relations of lord of Moon – signs are assigned as under : 294 1. If both are mutual friends - 5 2. If one neutral and other friends - 4 3. If one friend and other enemy - 1 4. Mutual neutral - 3 5. If one neutral and other enemy - ½ 6. Mutual enemies - 0 7. If both have same lord - 5 This can be represented as per following table : Lord of Moon Lord of Moon Sun Moon Mars Mer Jup Ven Sat sign of Girl sign of Boy Sun 5 5 5 4 5 0 0 Moon 5 5 4 1 4 ½ ½ Mars 5 4 5 ½ 5 3 ½ Mer 4 1 ½ 5 ½ 5 4 Jup 5 4 5 ½ 5 ½ 3 Ven 0 ½ 3 5 ½ 5 5 Sat 0 ½ ½ 4 4 5 5 GANA : The birth Nakshtra are classified under the three Ganas namely Divine (Deva), Demon (Rakshash) and Human (Manushya ). The classification is as under :- 1. Divine (Deva ) - Asvini, Mrigsira, Punarvasu, Pushya, Hasta, Swati, Anuradha, Shravana, Revati 2. Demon (Rakshash) Krittika, Ashlesha, Magha, Chitra, Vishakha, Jyeshtha, Moola, Dhanishtha, Shatbhisha. 3. Human (Manushya ) Bharani, Rohini, Ardra, Poorva Phalguni, Uttar Phalguni, Purvashdha, Uttarashadha, Uttar Bhadrapad. It is considered that a native would have nature in accordance with Gana. The nature indicated by different Ganas is – Divine (Deva) - Dignity and goodness Human (Manushya) - Combination of good and bad. Demon (Rakshash) - Contempt, meanness, selfishness 295 Marriage between boy and girl belonging to same Gana is considered best. The marriage between Human and Divine Gana is considered workable. Marriage between Human and Demon Gana is prohibited. Marriage between a boy belonging to Divine and Girl belonging to Demon Gana is prohibited. The Divine, Human and Demon Gana correspond to Satvik, Rajsik and Tansik nature. Points for Ganas are assigned as per following table - Gana of Girl Gana of Boy Divine Human Demon Divine 6 5 1 Human 6 6 0 Demon 0 0 6 BHAKOOT (MATCHING OF MOON SIGNS) : If moon sign of one is counted from other, there is possibility of following relationship between Moonsigns of boy and girl– 1 : 7 or 7 : 7, 2 : 12, 3 : 11, 4 : 10, 5 : 9, and 6 : 8 The mutual relationship of 2 : 12, 5 : 9, and 6 : 8 is not considered good for marriage. Out of these three relationships, 6 : 8 relationship is considered the worst as it adversely affects the health and longevity of couple. It may also lead to divorce or suicide or murder of one by other. Maximum cases of suicide or murder after marriage belong to this category. Next bad relationship is 2 : 12 which adversely affects wealth, savings, spending, and mutual relationship in the family. The 5 : 9 relationship adversely affects the fortune, faith, religious activity, progeny and ancestral inheritance. Except in these relationships, 7 points are assigned. Even if relationships of 6 : 8, 2 : 12, 5 : 9 exists, 4 points are assigned if lords of both the signs are mutual friends. NADI : There are three Nadis under which all the Nakshtra have been 296 divided . viz. ADYA NADI – Asvini, Ardra, Punarvasu, Uttar Phalguni, Hasta, Jyeshtha, Moola, Shatbhisha, Poorva Bhadrapad. MADHYA NADI – Bharani, Mrigsira, Pushya, Poorva Phalguni, Chitra, Anuradha, Purvashdha, Dhanishtha, Uttar Bhadrapad. ANTYA NADI - Krittika, Rohini, Ashlesha, Magha, Swati, Visakha, Uttarashadha, Shravana, Revati If boy and girl both belong to same Nadi, it is considered ‘Nadi Dosha’ and marriage in such case is not recommended. Nadi Dosha adversely affects the compatibility and health of married couple. Nadi means pulse or nerve. It indicates physiological and hereditary factors. In following two circumstances, Nadi Dosha gets cancelled – 1. When Nakshtra of boys and girl is same but Pada of Nakshtra is different. 2. When Rashi of both boy and girl is same but they have different Nakshtra. Nadi of girl Nadi of Boy ADYA MADHYA ANTYA ADYA 0 8 8 MADHYA 8 0 8 ANTYA 8 8 0 •••••••••••• http://vedicastrologytolearn.blogspot.com/2010/12/matching-of-horoscope.html?m=1

That is the point I’m getting at, that is the contradiction in the story. I quoted the story which said that “a guru in India later verified that the dude left his body and didn't simply die by suicide or overdose”. And so I ask how can there be a guru left to verify it if mahasamadhi brings the whole universe to an end? By definition, the story must be wrong unless, again, I’m misunderstanding. And if we agree that the story is wrong then we must extend this reasoning to all claims of mahasamadhi.

@Leo Gura You said “While I love the idea of being the first and greatest, I have read reports of a Western guy who attained mahasamadhi from LSD. He was actually meditating in a cave, did a bunch of LSD, and simply left his body for good. A guru in India later verified that the dude left his body and didn't simply die by suicide or overdose. If you believe the stories that is.” This seems illogical. I can appreciate it might be paradoxical but perhaps you can point me to a flaw in my perspective? Elsewhere you have described mahasamadhi as God - as the only being there is - ceasing to imagine the physical universe. If so then there should be no one else left behind to verify, no? Otherwise it is not the whole physical universe which is dissolving, but only one perspective of it, since others still exist to verify another’s mahasamadhi. I believe I heard you say that mahasamadhi means no one is left behind, you bring the whole reality with you. If I’m wrong then by solving the contradiction I might uncover and transcend some hidden assumption. Or maybe I’ve misunderstood something basic. I wonder if you might say something such as I am the only being and I am imagining others. Does that then mean in this universe there has never been a mahasamadhi - only hearsay of it - since i have not done it? It’s tricky stuff...

I agree, I’m not going to try to preach a gospel. I just want to save people from poverty, suicide, murder, etc. The world is cruel and I want it to not be. @Verdesbird Here are a few examples of exactly what I'm talking about. *Graphic content edited by moderator.

In my recent psychedelic experience (=p.e.) I really wanted to have deep insights into suffering and misery. After a friend of mine recently had his first p.e. and confronted himself with his shadow, I felt inspired to look at the dark side oft he moon, too. Raised in a christian kind of fundamentalist environment, beeing the only one of my generation to distance myself from church, I had to clear my mind from indoctrination. The hardest pill to swallow has always been the possibility to go to hell eternally, because I didn’t accept Jesus as my lord and savior and the bible as absolute truth. So I took the challenge to confront myself with hell, suffering and my inner demons during this p.e. Surprisingly I had no kind of bad trip, but deep insights into what suffering really is, as well as some interesting synchronicities I really want to share with you: Enforcing my sensory perception, the drug made me very aware of a little itch at my thigh. Trying to awake my inner demons and imagining what it’s like to be in hell, the itch kind of disturbed me to focus on the actual stuff. My attention more and more turned to the itch which became so intense until I couldn’t resist scratching myself. A moment later it started somewhere else to itch and I was a little annoyed by the distraction, as I actually wanted to confront me with the heavy stuff, not beeing distracted by a little itch. After scratching, it started somewhere else again, of course. So I mindlessly walked into the bathroom, intensively scratching myself all over the body, with the intention to get rid of the itching or at least to become aware of the fact that it doesn’t help at all so I would be able to resist the temptation. I wanted to see my inner demons, to know what hell and suffering is about, not wasting my trip scratching myself, I thought. Then I looked into the mirror when the curtains fell down. I saw myself completely red with almost bloody stripes all over the body. Seeing this annoyed, desperate, restless red devil in front of me witch his claws hurting himself in order to end the pain, I realized what confronting my inner demons really meant. „Only hurt people hurt people“ came into my mind. My whole body was littered with itch, in retrospect I know now that it was the beginning of something like hives (illness). I walked back to my bed and lay down, intending to completely stop scratching, having seen through the game. But the itching came back much stronger than before. Some parts of the body started to twitch around and after a while I gave up and started to scratch me again. The whole itching and scratching phases went on for almost eight hours, always in a harsh struggle between resisting and giving in to the temptation. Though I realized the mechanism, I wasn’t strong enough to embody the truth I have grasped. The whole time I introspected myself and wrapped my mind around what this experience wanted to tell me, so I took lots of notes between the phases: Hell is a state of consciousness in which you desire immidiate reward/release above everything else. Every scratching (effort and temptation) in order to end the itching (restlessnes and suffering) worsens the situation, because by whirling around one maintains the murky water instead of letting the dirt settle by itself. It is the attempt to end the necessary process of learning and growing prematurely. Learning and growing happens the more one is able to let go of the illusion that anything finite could ever satisfy the infinite desire for love, truth, peace and happiness. The human nature is at some level between heaven and hell, a stage where he can take huge steps towards both extremes by either attaching himself to finite objects or adjusting himself to god/the absolute by letting go of all illusions. Each person is on a different level, which reach from the desire to hurt others (and therefore the Self) coming from the deeper wish to end ones own excruciating existence, to the desire to accumulate knowledge to understand reality. In deed, even knowledge can be a temptation, and also lots of high quality spiritual teachers may sacrifice precious resources (time and energy) or their critical mind (and start again to believe in things the don’t know) in order to accumulate finite knowledge, instead of practicing the highest teaching – love. It’s not that knowledge is bad, but it may be just a stage which one can outgrow – but beware not to end the process prematurely! The persuit of rational wisdom may be a trap as everything else, just on a higher level, capturing philosophers and scientists, attaching them to the believe they could escape the necessity of selfless love. Every single of these hell-to-heaven-levels consists of some specific temptations, and at the beginning it feels like heaven, until the long-term downsides become obvious. As with a drug like heroin, you get used to the high so the finite object cannot truly satisfy you. With every time you take it you become more addicted and the vicious circle begins. It only ends when you stop keeping it alive, by redirecting your awareness to the next level or in general to the direction to god/heaven/the absolute (the Self, the resting point of your consciousness, the no-agent-observer, the state of peace, oneness and perfection). By withdrawing your attention and energy you take away its foundation so it loses the power to control you. The latest point to be capable to do so is when you finally break down and give up everthing (which explains some enlightenment experiences at the suicide level). I think that the Buddha, the truly awakened and enlightened one is someone who has outgrown these potentially hellish stages. He has seen completely through the illusion and keeps calm inside no matter what happens around him, for he knows that every reaction to a temptation creates more hell, and the natural growing process shifts him towards heaven, so no interference is needed. He doesn't pull on the grass in order to make it grow. It’s like god always offering you increasingly better stuff in order to make you happier, but if you take it and mistake it for the best/absolute/end, god/the infinite becomes the devil/finite. A true Buddha can even resist the temptation of knowledge so he can live the authentic spontanious life, not caring about yesterday or tomorrow, but deeply caring about the here-and-now, which is recognized as perfect smooth eternity, living life full of selfless love. As Gautama Siddharta said: „There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: Not starting, and not going all the way.“ So don’t stop on a heaven-like level, for it becomes hell one day. Now I realized which heaven/hell lots of christians and religious people may probably experience, for they are attaching themselves to limited beliefs about god and reality. May everyone be blessed and see through the illusions, not trying to avoid a step or end it prematurely. Just let go, be calm and accept reality as it is (which does abolutely not mean to stop acting, actually you are created as an active creature with the intention to let grow love, so take care of your garden and weed the weeds!) There’s so much more to say but I already took much of your time (thank you), so I would like to read your thoughts about it. Just write anything meaningfull that comes into your mind, I love to get inspired.

I have been going to Psychoanalyst once a week (50 minutes) since last year's October. I would say it is more potent than meditation. In psychoanalysis we see our repressed emotions, thoughts, memories, urges which we find unpleasant and even scared of. Releasing them and reintegrating decreases our neurosis and heals us. On 10th January I found out my repressed side was my homosexuality I still cant come to terms and still under shock. I contemplate suicide every day. Freud himself said that in psychoanalysis among male patients repressed homosexuality has the greatest resistance. But probably I will accept it over time and reintegrate it and heal. Repressed homosexuality is a very rare thing, so dont worry. All other things are much easier to surrender to. I wish I also had any other repressed thing. Only homosexuality was unacceptable for me. Unfortunately I am not lucky. But you will have normal repressed things and in psychoanalysis you will become free and happy. One year psychoanalysis once a week is much stronger and helpful than one year daily one hour meditation. So go for it. But whatever you have repressed, it will be painful to reintegrate it. So the procedure is unpleasant for everyone.

While I love the idea of being the first and greatest, I have read reports of a Western guy who attained mahasamadhi from LSD. He was actually meditating in a cave, did a bunch of LSD, and simply left his body for good. A guru in India later verified that the dude left his body and didn't simply die by suicide or overdose. If you believe the stories that is. Some interesting food for thought. I am certainly nowhere near that level of consciousness without 5-MeO-DMT. I also wouldn't call what I experienced as a rainbow body. I would call it becoming an infinite singularity of love forever. It is totally formless consciousness. Like becoming pure potential with no actualization.

Murder, suicide, and abortion are absolutely the same. It’s not that God love’s abortion, it’s that abortion too, is God. Guilt, shame, etc, all made up. Or not.

Happy Birthday Leo. I've commented on your videos a few times but, I just wanted to repeat that if not for you videos breaking me out of the materialist paradigm, teach me about God and the Devil, get me to meditate, and to seek out a mystical experience through psychedelics, there's a 50% chance I'd have committed suicide by now or I'd just be spinning my wheels inside the scientific paradigm as a depressed, cynical loser perpetuating horrible cycles, So seriously, thank you man. Your work has utterly transformed my life. Hell, even your video on addiction was the the key that helped me quit alcohol and tobacco. Good lord man. I always think about how if I hadn't clicked on your Youtube video in the thumbnail and stuck around, I might be dead or worse still torturing myself to this day. It's that thought that makes me just wanna enjoy whatever I have and not give too many fucks because it kinda feels like a fluke that I found you to be honest. And this joy and wholeness, that I found, I could very well never have found it.

I like Teal Swan. I feel like she's one of the few psychology/mental health teachers that gets to the root of issues. A lot of her videos are still kind of surface level or 'quick fix' kind of things, but she definitely still provides root fixes in a lot of her content which I haven't found anywhere else. I've had problems with social anxiety and really low self-esteem all my life, and her videos on shame, self-trust and self-love have all really helped me to get an understanding of where my issues are coming from. I have also been using her book 'The Completion Process' over the past few months to go into my past and find the trauma that caused my low self-esteem. It has worked extremely well and for the first time I'm actually building true, lasting self-esteem whereas nothing else has worked for me. I do kind of get that vibe from her that she seems kind of inauthentic, and it seems like she doesn't really connect with people or her audience well when teaching, and so I wouldn't be too surprised if she has done some shady stuff, but I know for sure, from my own experience that her information is high quality and has genuinely helped me overcome my deep rooted self-esteem issues (caused from an abandonment trauma in my childhood) which no other self-esteem building technique has helped me to do. As for the thing about her embracing suicide, I think its just a misunderstanding about the fact that you have to feel into your emotions and go towards them to be able to process them and move past them. if you resist and reject your thoughts on suicide it will just make your problem worse.

Shift of theme. "Absence of joy is slow suicide." -Ocke de Boer "Any attitude other than peace or joy is egoic". - Jesus through ACIM Paraphrased by me through often faulty memory. Proper use of grammar is uninteresting and time consuming. Free pass on pronoun use here. I, me whatever. Doesn't matter here. Just express it. Run on sentences are ok too.

Hehe. Me too, as a rarely talk of my suicide attempt anymore. It was in 2009, and I prefer to leave it behind me, usually. Guess I get triggered occasionally. Oh well.

@Meta-Man BTW, did you miss the suicide survivor part, lol.... i wasn't afraid. The fact I survived wasn't by choice.

@Meta-Man I didn't read anything amazing in that...maybe you can copy/paste something from it that you are referring to? However, I'm a suicide survivor and ever since I'm not attached to my ego in the same way some here are. I am not afraid of its death. I'm attached still to its desires/fears to an extent, but it actually distinguishing isn't a fear I have. That was lost after I woke up from a 5 day coma. I've never had a fear of death since.

Hi everyone, this a long one, with a lot said. I hope you can make out what I am trying to convey! Just to be up front, I also copied and cherry picked some really good quotes, or string of words from Leo’s most recent responses in the “I think Leo is triggering the insanity that is already within you” to help add to the context and flavour of my “What’s Next” topic that I am sharing with you here. What I am sharing is some of my own experiences and awakenings I had on DMT almost 1.5 years ago. It has taken a long time to put my experiences into meaningful words that make sense to me, and hopefully to some potential readers. I find writing down my experiences has really helped me process my understand of who I Am, which I find is always an ongoing experience and is always changing. So here goes! Before we get into Leo’s quotes, I will share a combination of experiences from several of my DMT trips. At the peak of one of my DMT trips, I experience nothing, I was nothing = consciousness. There was no Me. Then “I” (as in a thought “I”, for the sake of expressing the inexpressible) became aware of this huge limitless ocean of energy, no thoughts existed, just a sensation and texture of endless, boundless energy. Time did not exist. Eventually a thought transformed in, or from a Conscious? field of Energy. Once the thought appeared, a sudden orgasmic explosion of thoughts, ideas occurred out of the formless field of Energy (for lack of better words) which seemed to occurred from no-where. Love = consciousness “experienced” the All-That-Is, giving birth to everything, and everything was also imagined and was also nothing. (if that makes any sense) Am, became aware of an infinite space, followed by infinite Cosmoses within this infinite field of energy space, followed by our Universe, then galaxies, then Planets, Earth, Life on Earth, humans, Me, my family, friends, etc. I mean everything. But at the same time, Am was nothing within consciousness (difficulty to explain) No me, but everything at the same time. Everything seemed to be in a dream state. Eventually, “I”, not the Human Mind “I “, was in transition between the All-That-Is and my limited Human Mind. I felt Love, and at the same time felt alone. I was Love/awareness feeling the space of oneness, and at the same time I was this limited Human Mind with all these imagined experiences, and yet I was “Alone”, because I was aware of being “One” simultaneously. (Don't get hung-up on the "I" please, I don't know how else to discribe it) Thoughts were swirling around in this nebulous space of Love = consciousness = imagined Limited Human Mind. As I was slowly descending back into my Human Mind Consciousness, I started to question; Why should I bother returning to my imagined Human Mind and Body? Why “forget” most of who “I am”?...... I am One.... What’s the purpose of being a limited Human Mind and physical body? Everything is imagined, my family, friends, the pleasures and pains, the suffering and joys of duality are just a fabrication of the Mind, a huge infinite hologram imagined! It’s just a Dream! I tried several times to let my imagined limited human mind die, (an imagined psychological mind suicide, for lack of better words) to let it disappear into the empty canvas of nothingness = consciousness = Love, but to no avail. What I eventually realized is that there is no such thing as Life and Death, there is only a reduction or expansion of consciousness in Form and Formlessness, within the All-That-Is. Eventually I was aware of time, and I sensed consciousness slowly reduce its self to slip into a limited Human Mind, into the reality of form, and into my imagined body. (It seemed a long stretch of time had passed during the transition) It wasn’t until 5am (started around 9pm) when I was steady and conscious enough with the inner workings of my Mind and body connections, to be able to walk back to my room from the DMT ceremony. During the next several hours my mind swirled with thoughts, ideas and imaginations in what seemed to be a higher state of awareness. I was questioning; why am I here? What’s the point? I even imagined calling an imaginary taxi to pick me up from the imagined Ayahuasca center to take me to an imaginary desert, to bask in the imaginary sun and heat with my imaginary cold case of beer, and imagined the thought of “Just letting Go” of this imaginary dream. Expand to One! Expand to Love! Because it’s nothing but imagination, I can’t die! There is no death! There is no wife! There is no Earth! So why keep playing this imaginary game? I am One = Love = Consciousness = nothingness = Void! As I pondered my thoughts, ideas, imagination, it really started to sink-in what the implications of being an imaginary limited Mind, within a “one” conscious mind. It was mind boggling. I was playing with this realization, or awareness, for what seemed like a long time before falling asleep later in the day. I understood the basic theory of it from the Human Mind psychological state, before doing several trips on DMT, but to witness it play it’s self out on a canvas of consciousness = nothingness (for lack of better words) as; Love = Thoughts = Energy = consciousness = = = = was sobering but also surreal. “You don’t know, what you don’t know.” After experiencing Consciousness at a DMT level you start to become aware of the “Knowingness”, but you really won’t know the “dept” of “anything”! No One can Know the full depth of “Everything” and “Anything”, from the limited Human Conscious Mind. Agree or disagree, this is my Truth! For the Next year and a half, I have been contemplating thoughts from a Physical Body and Human Mind state, what am I? what I am suppose to do with this new awareness, new layer of consciousness, of Me, with my imaginary Human reality, within Love = Thoughts = Energy = consciousness = Nothingness = etc. Regardless of how hard I tried to imagine being absolute Consciousness, absolute Love, absolute All-That-Is, I kept returning to this imaginary human body awareness and Human Mind consciousness. I could not escape the limited mind consciousness of ideas, imaginations within imaginations, beliefs within beliefs, feelings within feelings etc. Every morning I would wake up from my dream sleep state and with some awareness I watched how effortlessly I slipped into my physical whole-body dream state. The transition from the sleep dream to physical dream is mind boggling and frustrating. It’s unbelievable how easy my mind consciousness slips into my perceived physical body and physical reality, but how difficult it is to reverse the sequence back to the sleep dream state, without falling into a sleep state. (if that makes any sense) The deeper I go, the more layers I find. Where do you stop? How far do you go? Having said that, let’s look at a few of Leo’s most recent thoughts, ideas, and beliefs he shared in the forum: As long as you are in this body, you will have biases and you will not be able to love totally. Life is about limitation and selective love. It's not about total love. I prefer the word imaginary. It's not a trap it is what is. That’s what Oneness is. It is a hallucination. And you are alone. enlightened masters still have biases. Maybe they don't have ego, but they still have a mind. And the mind is full of biases. Even the body is full of biases. ABSOLUTE LOVE -- free of all biases. But there is only one thing which is capable of ABSOLUTE LOVE -- a totally selfless being. And a totally selfless being must have absolutely no form or attachment of any kind. This cannot be accomplished in human form. It can only be accomplished by the purely formless Godhead A living being is incapable of perfect Love because a living being must be attached to survival in order to be alive. Only a non-living being is capable of perfect love, which means death. if you want true lack of all bias, that's called death. That's called God. That's called Infinity. And a human is part of Infinity but not the whole of Infinity. Try to love truly unconditionally. You'll find it impossible until you die and surrender absolutely all form. Formed love is limited, finite, and conditional. The highest love is a pure abstraction. Yet it's more real than all form. Within an Infinite Mind, abstraction comes prior to manifest reality. Abstraction is highest Perfection. You can be relatively selfless, but not absolutely selfless. Only the Godhead is absolutely selfless. Not living beings who must look out for their survival. To even compare your human organism's selflessness to the Godhead's selflessness is silly. You're infinitely far away. And that's okay because you are limited. Your body can't lift a 1000-pound stone and it cannot lift its analog of love for similar reasons. Thank you, Leo, these quotes are similar to many of my thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that I have contemplated and realized, but you are the Master when it comes to articulated thoughts and ideas, from the imagined Human Mind Consciousness, to Pen, to paper! So here we are! God-Head = Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = One = Zero, everything from that is Imagined and a dream, So what’s Next? What do I do with my imagined limited Self? What imagined self? What we? What I? What here? What purpose? What – What? What why? What do I do with my imaginary physical “self” Loop, that will have any useful meaning and purpose? What’s next, from the imagined Limited Human Mind form, which has been contemplative since my imaginary DMT experiences. Pondering this imagined, Limited Human Mind, atoms, molecules, organs, body, thoughts, ideas, imagination, beliefs, feelings emotions etc., with all it’s imagined mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, catalyst energy aspects that have been swimming in this imaginary reality, which is Nothingness = One consciousness. “Eventually I found my self deliberating, what’s next? at an imagined Spiritual intersection”. Do I just sit with Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = imaginary Dream = =?? and that’s It? Do I Let Go of this limited Human Mind and become absorbed (for lack of better words) with the absolute Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = imaginary Dream etc.? Do I explore the Limited Human Mind personality that I am imagining, and play with all my probable personalities, probable pasts and future self’s, play with conscious layers and awareness of form and Formlessness? Play with 4th, 5th and possible 6th dimensions and multidimensional realities from a conscious Physical reality state? Do I just allow my limited human mind and physical personality to become more and more awake and conscious of Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = One = Zero = Imagined = Dream =, and keep imagining my wife, my life, and play along with my imaginary physical reality until it’s time to leave it behind? Or, Do I do all of them simultaneously? Are there any other options? What’s Next? What’s Next after you are aware of Love = Consciousness = Nothingness = One = Zero = Imagined = Dream etc., and touched the depth of your imaginary “limited” human dream reality? Yes, I have moved beyond the spiritual intersection and chosen a few paths from an infinite variability of probable paths to explore and expand my awareness. Just to be clear! I am not interested in someone’s advice as to what path “I” should be taking, or if my thoughts, ideas and beliefs of reality, awareness, or consciousness are correct or flawed! What I’m really interested in; “has anyone else found them-“self” at this imagined Spiritual intersection from Leo’s forum and membership? If so! What’s your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs of What’s Next? What are your thoughts of Consciousness = Nothingness, from a Limited Human Mind Conscious state after you realized you are imagined within the All-That-Is? Is there a What’s Next? Or?