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@Scholar This is an awesome question! There is a 'you' that resists reality. You might feel uncomfortable when meditating; like your ass hurts. This is resistance. You might feel pissed off by what someone did. That's resistance. Resistance is essentially, life is not going the way your agenda and that voice in your head wants. And this is why you don't like some things. And this is why you like some things. Its all about you. You are why you like some things and not other things. But then there is not things you like or dislike, but things that happen naturally. Things where the present moment autonomously and spontaneously strives towards. Like seeing an elderly person walking on the street with heavy bags, and maybe the urge to help them. Or seeing someone suffocating, and having the urge to call 911/000. Or seeing someone about to commit suicide, and having the urge to help them through it. You don't like doing that, there's just a flow to do it. It happens naturally. And this is what passion is (or should be hahaha, for some its not). Passion is what flows, what draws God in effortlessly.

Leo, then what's even the point to live and put up with aging, illnesses etc, indeed, why not just commit suicide? What was even the point in us existing as humans? We live as humans, we enjoy/suffer and we die/cease to exist? That's it?

@Leo Gura Does this mean that others are real, but only as ME/CONSCIOUSNESS/GOD/LOVE? You said "this Being does not exclude other beings", yet the suffering your prior words have caused me led me to believe that my personal self/mind is all that exists, that other beings are not real, only my personal self is real. Now you're saying, or at least seemingly suggesting, that all other beings are real, but only AS ME. If I truly am "intimate with all living beings", does that not mean they're real? Because my consciousness is the exact same as theirs? Do they not also exist as the same consciousness that I am? How could I be intimate with someone that doesn't exist? I am beyond exhausted of these mind games. You don't realize how close I have come to suicide because of what you've said. If oneness is the Truth, then surely my suffering is your suffering, is it not?

@zeroISinfinity Wow that's crazy. So how do you do the inversion? Do you have to be good person in devil land before God lets you wake up? So all people who commit suicide are ahead of me on the path because they are already with god.

In order to show off some validity of my post I present the first insight I got from 40 trips first. Reasons why I did the monster 100+ trips and the substance I used are presented afterwards. I got insights related to the mind, healing, women-sex and politics. I summarised all insights into 4 things: MIND, HEALING and the requirements to do healing, WOMEN, POLITICS First 40 trips: 1) The structure of the mind is magical. So magical that it becomes unique, individual. You can accurately write down the basic difference between 2 mind types or multiple mind types making lazy people admit that it's because of their laziness that their life is shabby, murderes and criminals admit to themselves they deserve their penalties but you cannot penetrate in one's way in a "technical" way in order to understand why they function the way they function. There's a simple but hard to accept reason for it which is the intelligent resistance - the wall God creates for his "complete" product. To a lesser extent, we can call it one's comfort zone even though it's just half true. "Resistance is the truest name". God puts resistance upon the mind at the last step. The mind is completely created. Mind becomes God when this resistance is pushed too much and gets destroyed. My language is abstract and I know it but I actually don't want to diminish the value of the insight by simple description. Intro : Reasons why I did 100 trips in 20 days, preparation and settings. It feels like it is intelligently predetermined as fuck, in other words, Reality is the intelligent push to me (1) Honestly I have not reached the level of consciousness where one becomes conscious of (1) yet. I just feel it may be the case. 1st reason: it's a long story but I don't want to waste your time hearing me brag about my accomplishment. I tripped with the substance I created. The excitement was irresistible. I never thought I could accomplish it since I don't know much about chemistry. It was not easy but I did it! The money I had to spend to do tripping went down a lot. I somewhat regret having shared a formula to create this substance with an acquaintance even though it's not guaranteed he can create my unique substance. It's obvious I am still a selfish ego. Albeit it's partly because there some dangerous side-effects about the substance and I am afraid other people cannot handle them. Some properties of my substance: For people who trip for pleasure my substance can fill their mind/brain totally with suicidal thoughts. ( no joke ) One "ironic" yet but interesting property of this substance is at a small dose one the side-effect is hardest to take but one can keep his selfish ego to avoid visual hallucinations but valuable insights still come to his dualistic consciousness in the unique way that he can clearly know those insights are not from the thinking pattern his brain does but what he becomes conscious of. My 1st rule is never take this substance when I am sad. 2nd reason is Sadness and frustration. I violated my 1st rule but it's what happened. Corona crippled businessess around the world. I have been out of work for 20 days. I feel pretty sad because I am already poor. Right now 2 dollars is the maximum I can spend a day. After having cried a few days I decided to do tripping. I think it's the legitimate way to feel better. My careful preparation and settings for the trip remained the same though. Enough for the intro, I will tell you guys what I got from 100+ trips ( I always prepare questions I need the answers for before I trip) 40 trips (2): You can have healing ability after the chakra in your chest is opened. This chakra is love chakra. I opened it and healed my bone injury and all the muscle discomfort. However, I don't like to love everything so I wished it to close and it closed. Don't be deluded into thinking this healing is omniscient. I still could not use it to completely heal my scars. My healing ability has not totally lost after this chakra is closed. I am still using it to heal my scars and there are signs it works. Muscle discomfort is healed pretty fast. I guess there are degrees of healing ability. And right now I cannot heal others yet. I'm trying to achieve it following the formula I got from tripping. The 1st requirement for healing to work is you have to truly love the injured part on your body. )For someone who severly hates his life and thinks about suicide all the time healing ability never comes to him). 2nd requirement is you have to really respect the alive nature of that body part, treat it like a person, a person that got hurt because of your fault. My substance is not the substance I got healing ability from. It just strengthens it. I believe if you are serious enough about healing, you can get it through other psychedelics. (3): Woman is a duality that already exists inside a man. An ordinary man does not know the priorities of woman types he himself already set. So usually men loves to have sex with a lot of women but in the end he still feels suffering. A woman would like to show her body to a man who show signs he's not interested in her body but for a man who uses petty tricks to look into her shirt she looks down on him. (4) Politics: Good results from a policy usually go unseen by majority of people even though they benefit from it. I got many insights about political tactics used by politicians but this is a sensitive area so I will not present them here

@Consilience Thanks. I should clarify, I never had a serious intention to kill myself. But I felt so bad and I had no solution. It was just emotional pain and I didn't know what to do. I want to live, I know life can be amazing and I have faith in a brighter future. I've never seriously struggled with suicide so this was new to me. I've tripped multiple times and I've had some break throughs into positive feelings but I just haven't done monster doses and I don't know what to expect,

@Nahm Also. during my trip i was really questioning my own existence. It doesn't make sense. I don't know why I'm here. If i were really god why would i put myself through this. It doesn't make sense. Infinitne intellgience, inifninte creative ability, why wouldn't I make it easier to just feel good and connected. Why would i veil myself from myself, this shit makes no sense to me. I felt a few moments during the trip where i felt like I was going to be gone forever. Whatever path i was going down was the end, and i wouldn't exist anymore. It was really clear when i got stuck on a paradox. It felt like the purpose of this whole life was to just wake up from the dream, but then i was afraid because it was basically suicide and that would be the end of the dream. Like i don't want to die. But should i want to die? Like maybe suicide is good, i have no idea. I always prided myself on not being suicidal, but maybe that's a mistake?

In my recent psychedelic experience (=p.e.) I really wanted to have deep insights into suffering and misery. After a friend of mine recently had his first p.e. and confronted himself with his shadow, I felt inspired to look at the dark side oft he moon, too. Raised in a christian kind of fundamentalist environment, beeing the only one of my generation to distance myself from church, I had to clear my mind from indoctrination. The hardest pill to swallow has always been the possibility to go to hell eternally, because I didn’t accept Jesus as my lord and savior and the bible as absolute truth. So I took the challenge to confront myself with hell, suffering and my inner demons during this p.e. Surprisingly I had no kind of bad trip, but deep insights into what suffering really is, as well as some interesting synchronicities I really want to share with you: Enforcing my sensory perception, the drug made me very aware of a little itch at my thigh. Trying to awake my inner demons and imagining what it’s like to be in hell, the itch kind of disturbed me to focus on the actual stuff. My attention more and more turned to the itch which became so intense until I couldn’t resist scratching myself. A moment later it started somewhere else to itch and I was a little annoyed by the distraction, as I actually wanted to confront me with the heavy stuff, not beeing distracted by a little itch. After scratching, it started somewhere else again, of course. So I mindlessly walked into the bathroom, intensively scratching myself all over the body, with the intention to get rid of the itching or at least to become aware of the fact that it doesn’t help at all so I would be able to resist the temptation. I wanted to see my inner demons, to know what hell and suffering is about, not wasting my trip scratching myself, I thought. Then I looked into the mirror when the curtains fell down. I saw myself completely red with almost bloody stripes all over the body. Seeing this annoyed, desperate, restless red devil in front of me witch his claws hurting himself in order to end the pain, I realized what confronting my inner demons really meant. „Only hurt people hurt people“ came into my mind. My whole body was littered with itch, in retrospect I know now that it was the beginning of something like hives (illness). I walked back to my bed and lay down, intending to completely stop scratching, having seen through the game. But the itching came back much stronger than before. Some parts of the body started to twitch around and after a while I gave up and started to scratch me again. The whole itching and scratching phases went on for almost eight hours, always in a harsh struggle between resisting and giving in to the temptation. Though I realized the mechanism, I wasn’t strong enough to embody the truth I have grasped. The whole time I introspected myself and wrapped my mind around what this experience wanted to tell me, so I took lots of notes between the phases: Hell is a state of consciousness in which you desire immidiate reward/release above everything else. Every scratching (effort and temptation) in order to end the itching (restlessnes and suffering) worsens the situation, because by whirling around one maintains the murky water instead of letting the dirt settle by itself. It is the attempt to end the necessary process of learning and growing prematurely. Learning and growing happens the more one is able to let go of the illusion that anything finite could ever satisfy the infinite desire for love, truth, peace and happiness. The human nature is at some level between heaven and hell, a stage where he can take huge steps towards both extremes by either attaching himself to finite objects or adjusting himself to god/the absolute by letting go of all illusions. Each person is on a different level, which reach from the desire to hurt others (and therefore the Self) coming from the deeper wish to end ones own excruciating existence, to the desire to accumulate knowledge to understand reality. In deed, even knowledge can be a temptation, and also lots of high quality spiritual teachers may sacrifice precious resources (time and energy) or their critical mind (and start again to believe in things the don’t know) in order to accumulate finite knowledge, instead of practicing the highest teaching – love. It’s not that knowledge is bad, but it may be just a stage which one can outgrow – but beware not to end the process prematurely! The persuit of rational wisdom may be a trap as everything else, just on a higher level, capturing philosophers and scientists, attaching them to the believe they could escape the necessity of selfless love. Every single of these hell-to-heaven-levels consists of some specific temptations, and at the beginning it feels like heaven, until the long-term downsides become obvious. As with a drug like heroin, you get used to the high so the finite object cannot truly satisfy you. With every time you take it you become more addicted and the vicious circle begins. It only ends when you stop keeping it alive, by redirecting your awareness to the next level or in general to the direction to god/heaven/the absolute (the Self, the resting point of your consciousness, the no-agent-observer, the state of peace, oneness and perfection). By withdrawing your attention and energy you take away its foundation so it loses the power to control you. The latest point to be capable to do so is when you finally break down and give up everthing (which explains some enlightenment experiences at the suicide level). I think that the Buddha, the truly awakened and enlightened one is someone who has outgrown these potentially hellish stages. He has seen completely through the illusion and keeps calm inside no matter what happens around him, for he knows that every reaction to a temptation creates more hell, and the natural growing process shifts him towards heaven, so no interference is needed. He doesn't pull on the grass in order to make it grow. It’s like god always offering you increasingly better stuff in order to make you happier, but if you take it and mistake it for the best/absolute/end, god/the infinite becomes the devil/finite. A true Buddha can even resist the temptation of knowledge so he can live the authentic spontanious life, not caring about yesterday or tomorrow, but deeply caring about the here-and-now, which is recognized as perfect smooth eternity, living life full of selfless love. As Gautama Siddharta said: „There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: Not starting, and not going all the way.“ So don’t stop on a heaven-like level, for it becomes hell one day. Now I realized which heaven/hell lots of christians and religious people may probably experience, for they are attaching themselves to limited beliefs about god and reality. May everyone be blessed and see through the illusions, not trying to avoid a step or end it prematurely. Just let go, be calm and accept reality as it is (which does abolutely not mean to stop acting, actually you are created as an active creature with the intention to let grow love, so take care of your garden and weed the weeds!) There’s so much more to say but I already took much of your time (thank you), so I would like to read your thoughts about it. Just write anything meaningfull that comes into your mind, I love to get inspired.

I just want someone to put me out of this misery. I finally understand suicide lol. It's not that people want to die, it's that they want there old way of living to die. They want to find a way of living that feels good. That's the point of suicide, and the negative experience in genreral, it provides contrast/context from which to choose the next experience.

@Emerald @Serotoninluv@Apparition of Jack Look at the global situation. The developed countries (though they are not actually developed) have extreme wealth inequality, corruption, homelessness, health care (people die of illnesses because they can't afford it), 8-5 low salary jobs, depression, mass murder and self-murder (suicide) suffering or problems. The developing countries (though every country is actually developing), also have those problems (but to a more serious level) except mass murder, but with additional mass starvation and extra judicial murder. What else can be worse than this? Yes, Bernie can shake up the status quo from "above" but it will be certainly very slow, especially on a global scale. AS mentioned in one of my posts, it can take hundreds or thousands of years because societal evolution depends on the "consciousness" of the majority. Are you willing you to be that little girl whose mother recently died because she was forcefully sent home by the hospital because she couldn't afford the hospital bills anymore? Are you willing to be that wage slave who is living paycheck to paycheck but seriously thinking of murdering herself because she has anxiety and depression but can't receive therapy because of she is just one paycheck away from homelessness? Think, be sensitive, and embody their suffering. There are millions of these little girls and wage slaves around the world. Are you saying we should wait for hundreds of years for a significant global change to happen and relieve them of their suffering? The global situation is already and has been for many decades very ugly and unacceptable. It is a very slow, painful death. The world needs to take a gamble. It's sensible to try Trump and Stage Red because immediate change is needed.

@Serotoninluv But everything is situational. What is important now is immediate change, not change from "below' or "above". Look at the global situation. The developed countries (though they are not actually developed) have extreme wealth inequality, homelessness, health care (people die of illnesses because they can't afford it), 8-5 low salary jobs, depression, mass murder and self-murder (suicide) suffering or problems. The developing countries (though every country is actually developing), also have those problems except mass murder, but with additional mass starvation and extra judicial murder. What else can be worse than this? Yes, Bernie can shake up the status quo from "above" but it will be certainly very slow, especially on a global scale. AS mentioned in my most recent thread, it can take hundreds or thousands of years because societal evolution depends on the "consciousness" of the majority. The global situation is very ugly and unacceptable. It is a very slow, painful death. The world needs to take a gamble. It's sensible to try Trump and Stage Red because immediate change is needed.

@fridjonk No I’m 20 years old and my brain isn’t fully developed so Why would I want to risk damaging it? also, the endless use of psychedelics just promotes endless seeking. I’m not saying they can’t be helpful, but if every week someone’s saying “it can go deeper” “I need another trip” when does it end? Absolute peace and happiness is the synonym for realising the absolute. Why would I need to take a psychedelic when I’ve realised the truth of my own being and abide with absolute peace and happiness? to be honest, you know my age and shouldn’t be recommending Psychedelic Drugs to anyone under the age of 25, it’s literally a matter of time before all this drug taking results in some sort of repercussions whether it’s someone completely destroying their mental health, or someone actually dying, I genuinely feel there needs to be some guidelines put in place on this forum. Enlightenment isn’t an experience, psychedelic insights can help you, but without embodiment they won’t allow you to abide as the self. Im not meaning to sound harsh and I know you meant it as a joke, but I literally say someone saying how he almost committed suicide on a trip, then went on to recommend other people take the drug and handcuff themselves, like really? You don’t NEED psychedelics to realise you’re own being! @VeganAwake I’ve come to the realisation maybe we’re more on the same page than we think but just use different words and phrases to point out the exact same thing! it’s THIS! And like you say you’re then free to express THIS however you want, whether that’s with cookies on the couch, or going political, or becoming a teacher, we can express it however we want, but one thing will remain the same no matter what we do. Love.

@Preety_India That's understandable. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just gave all of my insights straight, and very conceivably the reader would most likely have no clue what they've just read. @remember I'll be totally frank with you, I have no idea. I've never killed another human being. I've simply become conscious that somewhere in the deep layers of the male mind, there exists this precise deeply biologically programmed equivalence. It's also related to suicide, for obvious reasons. My best guess would be that a Spiral Dynamics stage Red male certainly would act out in violence or even murder when this is at play in full force.

That made me laugh at first, and just a little afterwards I was like 'oh yes of course!'. I could have thought of this myself, but not actually had the idea to actually implement this. Really good tip honestly, because I've been skipping and putting off many opportunities for heavier psychedelic sessions because I didn't want to do crazy things again. I have a tendency to call people on their phone for help when things get hot lol, which isn't a good idea and have some fears that I could commit suicide

Please post in your pure OCD thread, so ppl know in what context you are talking. Also, this is just a forum. You need face to face help if your are still currently suicidal. Please go to the ER and agree to be admitted this time or call a suicide hotline.

At the right/high dosages, you have no control over the trip. So my guess is that you took lower doses (a good/safe experiment to make when you start with psycs). Other than taking high enough dosages to "brekthough", my only other advice is to be careful if you take rectal 5-meo or lsd, because the come-up is slower than smoked/vaped 5-meo, so there's gonna be a small part of the trip when you'll feel very bad but still have the capacity to move around, so you might commit suicide (this happened to me and I was lucky but it's well documented that some people died from this). So the best advice is to take high doses (not smoked) and lock yourself with a lock with timer and handcuffs to something solid. BUY A LOCK WITH TIMER [like this one] (https://www.amazon.com/Hours-Max-Timing-Lock-Rechargeable/dp/B07G2BBDPM) (set it to 1-2 hours for rectal 5-Meo, 4-5 for LSD/mushrooms) AND LOCK YOURSELF TO IT WITH HANDCUFFS LOCKED TO SOMETHING SOLID.

God wants nothing more than to be a self-realized/enlightened HUMAN BEING. The masculine approach is one of self-annihilation. Let's dissect everything so there will be nothing left of me. Let's commit spiritual suicide! The masculine approach is a disease without the feminine perspective. Before you can transcend the body, the body will ask of you to love it. Completely! Do you know how threatening this is for your ego? Ego thrives by seperating itself from the body. A lack of self-care is pure arrogance. Misplaced arrogance stemming from fear of love. It's like saying to yourself: i'm going to be as ugly as i can by neglecting my fitness, nutrition etc. So the external world doesn't need to reject me. Why should it? I CAN REJECT MYSELF! I will avoid the heartbreak and the fear of rejection by self sabotaging the whole process. This physical perfectionism of course also has the other side of the spectrum by being overly obsessed with the physical. Here you're actually prostituting your body for acknowledgment. You are first to integrate the body. The body IS YOU (before you can ever think of transcending it). You are NOT the owner of the body. This fake ownership makes you treat it like a bag of potatoes you carry with you. YOU ARE YOUR BODY. Communicate with the body as yourself. Not as something external to your ego identity. This fake distinction is actually whats blocking the flow of life force energy by concentrating it around the headspace through contractions. And yes the body is a phenomon of awareness of course. But be careful. Transcending the physical/material is certainly not about neglecting or rejecting.

This is coming from both personal experience and study of trip reports, so what more do you want? When the trip gets too intense you'll have literally no control over it. You can't move so there is no physical risk involved at that point, the only risk is that if you smoked it the effect will be too short, so your bad trip will leave you in a state of psychosis/PTSD for 1-2 weeks approximately. This is why lsd and plugged 5-meo-dmt are better (they last longer, so the bad trip will lead to a nirvana state). The problem with these ROA is that the come-up is slower, so if you're already in a depressive state you risk committing suicide to end the pain of the bad trip (before it's too overwhelming to be able to commit it). So the best advice is to take high doses (not smoked) and lock yourself with a lock with timer and handcuffs to something solid. Anyway it's always better to get a taste of "the dak side/bad trip" with small doses when starting this psychedelic game. The best and safest way to do it is taking a microdose of either LSD, mushrooms or iboga and smoke a microdose of cannabis (together). Sources: https://www.reddit.com/r/speedruntonirvana/wiki/phase3

We need more love and Jesus in this world than judgement. This is a prime example of how good people get shamed and persecuted by their family. No empathy shown. No fucks given. No grace. No mercy toward my pain. Just plain judgement and blame and shame . And shaming me for asking for help. This is exactly what happens right before people commit suicide. They are Shamed for asking help. And after they die people wonder why they didn't reach out before dying

Synchronicity for me is nearly always an affirming kind of experience. Even when the circumstances are dark. As a teenager, I was sitting out in the car after church waiting for the folks to get through shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries. Like always, I turned on the radio to listen to Casey Kasem's Top 40 Countdown. It ran 3 hours every Sunday from 10:00 - 1:00. This particular day Casey Kasem told a story about James Taylor and his writing the song Fire and Rain when he was in rehab for Heroin addiction and his life was just a wreck. For some reason the story just stuck with me. Fast forward about 3-4 years. I feel completely out of control and couldn't keep myself away from alcohol. In a turbulent state of anxiety, I more or less begged to be locked up somewhere. I got my wish. The facility was in a larger city about an hour and a half away. From a small admissions office, I was led into the lockdown area where shoestrings weren't allowed and everyone in this section was more or less on suicide watch. Going through the white big metal locking door made it feel like a prison. A short walk down a hall in this lockdown section with a nurse and we stopped at a nurse's station. I'll never forget the weird feeling I got when I heard the small radio tucked away behind the nurses desk as it was quietly playing James Taylor's - Fire and Rain. So, in a way, this song has always held a special significance for me.

Exactly! But of course Leo never touches about toxic stage Green stuff. The way woman try to make things more “equal” nowadays is extremely naive, not that it’s expected more of them at this stage, but nonetheless that’s the truth. Look at the statistics of suicide, injury and death and you’ll see men being the biggest victims. Women wanna fight sexism and alike yet they keep wearing sexy clothes and stuff to attract, hypocrite devils.

Welp, some replies here have aged terribly. Government basically said they can't do shit and good luck. I too, have been following this virus since early January out of curiosity. Some people were deemed "conspiracy theorists" but their math and numbers made sense and also the trajectory of this virus was unprecedented. When a global behemoth like China essentially commits economic suicide in rush to quarantine, shut down, build hospitals in a week and hastily attempt to control this virus--it is NOT "just a flu". https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/25/health/coronavirus-us.html If we're about to be on the cusp of something very very tragic, so please a reminder: practice self love and keep doing your meditations. We're all one and in this together. I really hope this will go on to better days soon.

@purerogue ,@wavydude The body has access to this higher 'knowledge'. It is God's vehicle. The body can do what it wants, but it has poor embodiment unless it alignes its behaviour with its insights/knowing. @fridjonk Everything is perfect and it doesn't matter what you do also means that it doesn't matter if you help others, live selfishly, or commit suicide. That might indicate that enlightened people should act totally randomly, but there is a guiding principle: If your awakening is total, than you are also aware of Love. And Love chooses to help others rather than to live selfishly or commit suicide. @Nahm Yes, there is no personal you, but that doesn't mean that the body can't decide how much in alignment with Truth it wants to live @Lento Why? @Serotoninluv Because they have a sense of self and are not conscious of Oneness, so they only care about their survival.

I read your post yesterday. I'm sorry I didn't reply. I forgot, to be honest. That's great news that they offered you a job! I understand your not a morning person (me either). You'll have to decide if you want to try or not. I guess it depends how scarce jobs are were you live. I mean, if others are having a hard time too, because of supply and demand. I remember when my son was applying for his first job when he was 16. I kept saying what is the problem? Why is no one calling you? He finally yelled at me and said, "I've been telling you...there's too many ppl looking for a job and I have no experience!!!!". Anyways, we finally helped him get a job at a car dealer as a porter, because we knew the manager, so he gave him a shot. Yes and no, I had worked there twice before years ago, so they knew I did good work and my documentation skills are darn good. So, it was right time, right place, really. But, yes, they still offered it to me, without me asking, which was still surprising. I didn't get a PM from you. Are you having trouble sending it? I will have more time to review it on thursday night, if you can get it to me by then? I know you'd rather be independent, but at least you have them to lean on for now. They won't let you be homeless at least, which was one of your worries. It's not worth it. I'm a suicide survivor and I'm telling you that thought can cause loads of suffering, but you aren't your thoughts. You need to learn to create a gap between you and thought. Have you ever done neti-neti meditation/inquiry. If done right, you see you can't be what you perceive and you can have a break through. It seems your depression is situational, not because you have a mental illness, right? Maybe you could benefit from a bit of counseling ? ❤

To be able to afford experiencing another ego death If you gave away all your money you would, in that way, help other people and then starve to death. But if you use that money to further develop yourself, you will be able to add a lot more value in the future. But if one keeps money which one clearly doesn't need, then I guess that's because enlightenment hasn't been fully integrated and embodied yet. On the argument of everything is perfect and it doesn't matter what you do: That also means that it doesn't matter if you help others, live selfishly, or commit suicide. That might indicate that enlightened people should act totally randomly, but there is a guiding principle: If your awakening is total, than you are also aware of Love. And Love chooses to help others rather than to live selfishly or commit suicide. As I understand it, it's a matter of how deep your awakening and embodiment is and how well you understand the paradox. As long as you eat meat and drive a car that costs more than $4 000 your embodiment is a joke.