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Nature never takes something away without giving something of equivalent or greater value back. I can’t remember where I heard that, but the last couple of weeks and months have proven it correct in my direct experience. I struggled endlessly for more then a decade. Mental health issues way beyond my control. Failed suicide attempts, the list is long. But despite all of that. I am perfectly happy nowadays and even catch myself being grateful for the past. Never thought I could genuinely say that. Seems fitting I work as a paramedic nowadays lmao
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I have been doing some research on crimes against humanity. I have discovered that sometimes rape is seen as a valid military tactic designed to terrorize and dehumanize the population. This tactic is especially effective and terrorizing against deeply religious communities who place a strong emphasis on being proper to the point that women may be killed when violated or they are forced to marry the rapist. Rape is also a form of biological warfare designed to impregnate the victim population, destroying their race and ethnicity or to infect with STDs. I have read about several examples of genocidal rape, trying to put myself in the victim's shoes to see how I would feel. I genuinely felt disturbed by what I imagined. Here is one of many examples of genocidal rape. Rape was widespread during the Armenian Genocide, which was committed by the Ottoman Turks. During the death marches of Armenian civilians through Anatolia in 1915, Turkish soldiers frequently raped and killed Armenian women and children. In many cases, Turkish and Kurdish civilians also participated in these crimes. Turks took Armenian women and girls into sexual slavery or forced them into marriage. Those women forced into marriage also had to convert to Islam. Some perpetrators believed that women and girls could be successfully assimilated into Muslim Turkish culture, unlike men and boys. After the genocide ended, women and girls who had been forced into marriage often could not return to their former lives. They had no family left, no source of income, or otherwise feared the stigma of having married a Turk. Additionally, Turks publicly raped the wives, daughters, and other female relatives of important Armenian men. In addition to dehumanizing the victims, these targeted rapes intimidated the Armenian leadership into submission and dissuaded them from resisting. Some Armenian women and girls were sold as sex slaves. The Turkish soldiers stripped them naked and displayed them at auction. Their nudity in a conservative society served to further dehumanize them and strip them of agency. Many were forced into marriage or prostitution. In many cases women prefer to kill themselves to avoid being raped. There were cases with women being chased by soldiers through the streets only to jump off a bridge to kill themselves, avoiding rape. There were also mass suicides in Japan near the end of world war two because the women believed the enemy would rape them. Rape can also cause severe PTSD leading to suicide at a later date. Rape can also cause a challenging moral dilemma if it leads to forced pregnancy. On one hand the victim is not responsible for the child, but on the other hand the child doesn't deserve to die. Some women throw these babies in a dumpster. Meanwhile there are some anti abortion women who were raped and are now single mothers. There were some more severe cases of rape. For example, there was one woman who was nonstop gang raped for eight days believe it or not. She died shortly afterwards in one example of being raped to death. Other examples include things like the rape of nanjing in which babies were torn from the arms of their mothers by a bayonet, the mother's were raped, then the women were stabbed in the vagina with a bayonet until they died. Meanwhile boys were cut open and raped through an artificial vagina as well. I would rather die than have my penis cut off and be raped through an artificial vagina. I probably wouldn't survive such a brutal rape anyway. One last example I found was from unit 731. This was a world war 2 death camp in which prisoners were infected with STDs and then held at gunpoint being forced to have sex with each other. This process continued with this repeated rape by coercion, infecting people with more and more STDs. The result is that each rape was more agonizing than the last. In the end the victims developed horrific infections in their genitals to the point that they all died and there were no survivors. I imagined how I would feel if I were one of the victims. I would rather refuse to have sex with this woman even if I am shot to death to avoid developing a horrific infection that may be lethal. With all of that in mind, here are my questions. Is rape worse than death? How would you feel about being raped as a man or as a woman? How severe does rape have to be for you to kill yourself? Personally, if I were raped it would be severely disturbing and traumatizing. I would be damaged forever, but maybe I would survive. I think I could live with being raped once, but probably not multiple times with no hope of escape. I would definitely rather die than be a sex slave. For me I think it depends on how brutal the rape is, how many times, and what kind of STDs for me to fear it more than death.
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As for suicide, i'm right there with you time to time. For me the more I focus on myself at those points in time, the worse it is. So hopefully this focus on 500 approaches takes you completely out of your head. Focus on someone else, not yourself, when you are at your lowest (which is one reason why companionship with others is such a strength) I am also aware that healing takes focus on yourself, but somedays that's not enough.
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"it looks perfect" That's the answer to every question about her appearance. Every other response is suicide, lol.
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That’s most problems in life. It gets you laid, it gets you infinitely more opportunities to get laid because it allows you to travel. You don’t need to stress over bills, you can’t have nearly as much fun without it, it makes you secure in being able to afford great lawyers in case you have too much fun, you can hire body guards so you can hit on other people’s girlfriends and fully be yourself without the threat of violent repercussions, you can afford all the best and healthiest foods/supplements, you can easily throw epic parties, etc etc... Money is basically everything. Not having much is pure suicide fuel
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And in the other hand Hezbollah kidnapped 3 Israeli soldiers in 2000 just after peace negotiations in Camp David. And what about when hamas started a terrible series of suicide bombing inside Tel Aviv just after Oslo Agreement and BECAUSE of it! To fail it.
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Princess Arabia replied to oldhandle's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Sorry for coming off so harsh. When I first watched the video, I just wanted to cry for the dude. He seemed to be shitting his pants and to hear you come off so stoic like that as if every situation isn't different, and showed no empathy for him and to see how he was through the whole video complying. You just sounded so cold. This is why I can't sometimes get involved with this stuff because I feel other's pain and I get over emotional when I see stuff like that. No worries, we all have our unique experiences and respond in different ways depending on those experiences; thanks for not coming back hard on me because i went hard on you. Martial arts does help you with discipline. Funny because I once dated a cop who taught martial arts. His son, who was also a cop, ended up committing suicide. This was before we dated. Cops go through tremendous psychological problems too and ilm aware of that but I just hate to see when stuff like this happens and a life lost under those circumstances. -
Hi, I lost my virginity at 29 years old, you are not alone brother. The thing that helped me the most was taking dance classes, you will gain hands on experience talking and leading women around a dance floor. This does wonders for your confidence, don't give up. Ask for what you want and keep fighting for it. Suicide is a coward's path.
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@Leo Gura Got ya. I remember my first approach was in a park. A woman was close to the lake and I joked that "the water is too shallow here to jump". She laughed and we started a discussion. And then, I started talking to her about spiral dynamics 😂. Take notes guys, the best approach = a suicide joke + autistic conversation topics. Another time, I was very hesitant and spent like 30 minutes doing nothing but walking around in the park. My state was so low, that a couple approached me, and asked me why I was so sad. The woman instantly assumed it was because I was single 🤣. @Lyubov This sensation is emotional, not logical by nature. I know how to handle logic, emotions a little harder. I think and think and think about my internal state, and observe, and contemplate more. This particular area of my life feels impossible to handle through introspection alone. How exactly would you follow your advice and @mmKay A real grandchild would game their elders sober. Everybody's gangsta when granma is high 😤.
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Hey, I didn't bother reading a lot of these comments , I just don't have the time so I'm just gonna shoot from the hip here based off your initial post. I didn't lose my v card till I was 26 lol. Once I did I realized it never actually mattered. For you, I think you have the same problem I had. You've placed sex and a relationships on a pedestal and you've formed a bunch of negative shaming ideas about why you haven't been able to succeed. Shame. That's your biggest enemy. The idea that something is wrong with you. That you need to do something to be lovable, be a certain way other than the way you are to be lovable. This inner problem is what needs to be resolved which is why therapy is probably needed for you. Before I met my now long term girlfriend I was on some self loathing, red pill, mgtow type stuff. I had a bunch of bad ideas about women and myself and every women I encountered could tell it. It's like they could sense the danger lurking within me. Now I understand that what I truly needed was someone to help me confront my feelings of being incomplete. My therapist and teacher helped me with this. Psychedelics helped with this as well. Ultimately getting a partner who was willing to let me climb out of my anxious attachment style was what helped the most but I never would have been able to land her without my therapist and psychedelics doing a lot of the pre game work. I hope you don't commit suicide dude. I hope you resolve your rage. There is hope though, I was just like you. It's got nothing to do with your looks or your weight or anything else anyone else but you can see. It's about what your intimacy. The parts of you that only you experience. That rage, that pain, that feeling of missing out on something. It's all within you. Bring it out to light so a therapist can help you heal it or take a psychedelic trip about it. Love ya bro!
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Merkabah Star replied to hoodrow trillson's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
His ego is too big to be her VP. Kamala’s whole run could be seen as a suicide mission to him. If you can read energy, it’s pretty easy to see he will be a big contender for the dems moving forward. He needs work though. -
@Yeah Yeah Of course I get you with everything you said. It's all highly human. But it doesnt feel like you accept reality. You are behind in game and want a magical 19 y.o. virgin to get even. Like you are holding on to some belief and would rather do suicide instead of dropping that belief. Which is all very understandable but won't get you to move forward. Your situation isnt all that bad. There are plenty of girls in their early twenties who would settle for a guy who is 27. Can you say what exactly went wrong in the situations you had with girls? You were very loose about that.
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Just had this thought at 4 am in the morning. Through all the pain and desperation I have felt in my life there were 3 possible paths I could have taken. Obviously I now say that from a birds view having left my most of my troubles behind. 1. Commit Suicide 2. Become a Monster 3. Become Conscious. I put becoming conscious on position 3 on purpose. Because that’s, funny enough, what I have been doing unconsciously for the last 5 years without ever realising or articulating it like that. 12 years of my life was spent emotionally void and suicidal. But now I feel on top of the world. Out of anyone I am the last person who would have expected that outcome. Man. This life will take me places.
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I wish I felt otherwise though it is quite crippling - I'll be stuck dating older women like 24 above which aren't all that attractive imo - The younger the better; been that way throughout histroy; Ancient babylon the riches men bought the first woman on sale as the most beautiful, and then the poorest gets the ugglies - Richer you are the more likely your marriage will last - Throughout histry the rich and wealthy were priveledged to women and marriage. I think the gorvenment should offer services for assisted suicide if this crippling anxiety continues manifesting in the infinite Quantum field deeper levels of unwanted - I mean what if with this depression I kill myself and then I return as someone ugly - Like death is a LOA launchpad and your energy will manifest into something near to the energy you died at - Or as divine source energy do we get to come back as whatever we please; somewhat like Alan Watt's teachings, Abraham Hicks, David R Hawkins, Teal Swan ... probably a few other great teachers to list ... Leo, too ... - Because the latter I mean my mind can only handle so much and I'm okay giving in the flag and quitting this unnecessary pressure to survive with an insatiable tormenting immense lonliness sexual desire for nothing.@Jannes Dude - I am 27 what is my dating range? I want 19 years olds dude who are virgins bro - That is what I want - 24 years above they should be married at that stage imo - I missed teen romance and now I'm probably creepy if to approach 19 year olds? Unless I was rich and clubbing - But idk - The moment it starts to get creepy and I have to date 30 year olds dude I am going to go fucking mad - I will go fucking crazy - Fuck that - Hence I ask Leo if suicde has what preprecussions??? I want an answer - Because I will go fucking mad - I will not fucking handle it or go fucking zen about or fucking mindful about I can not tell my sex energy to fucking stop - You are a fucking dude you know I am not making this up - You can agree with me about this on some level??
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I felt suicidal before, but really counsciously contemplated suicide only once. When i was 17/18 my suffering was unbearable and i tought why not just end it ? My conclusion was purely pragmatic: Even if it is going to be only suffering my whole life, im going to live only this one time and then it is going to be over... so i should just let it happen and see the end of it. My next tought was i'll be breathing my whole life so im just going to focus on that and let everything else go.
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gambler replied to Merkabah Star's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Destiny is unhinged. This isn't something new or controversial. He moves like a sociopath. There is something fundamentally wrong with how he can be so unkind, cruel, and devoid of sympathy or feelings towards others. He has laughed about the suicide of his best (?) friend before. Found the whole thing funny. Didn't care to persuade his friend away from it. To him, it was whatever. That guy is not normal in the head. -
Bellow I explain a bit more above, the dysmorphia is that murder is wrong when you are fundamentally born to murder. Let’s use sex as an example if someone is demonizing sex when their hormones and biology are fighting them and saying the opposite they are completely out of alignment with reality, with their biology, with life, and because they’re out of alignment they cannot experience any kind of harmony, they have resistance to reality which is a lack of love. If you’re fighting everything because of some ideology because of some morality because of some anything then you’re resisting reality itself and functioning in the dysmorphic state. it’s the same reason depression and suicide is a different dysmorphic state with the body because the body does not want to die and your body and mind are doing everything to stop you from dying yet you’re aligned with suicide which is disfunction and a type of body dysmorphia. suicide is body dysmorphia because it’s resisting the body, which is designed and has its own specific type of intelligence but the bodies intelligence is not in alignment with the persons identity/Intelligence, so that’s dysmorphic. If at higher stages of consciousness you view suicide as a natural process of death then that would be a healthy and aligned body identity. Because death is natural and now your identity accepted it. Identity is now in harmony with reality. You’re not a floating mind in a vacuum, identity has to align itself in everyway to reality or else you have disfunction.
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I want to provide some more value to this community before I inevitably leave. I was thinking about what threads I could create. What do I say that others would get value from? So pointless. The harder I try, the less I succeed. I figured the best contribution I can make is simply share my experience. Someone who relates should find my words valuable. I don't need to make threads explaining my techniques, insights or any of that shit. Who gives a fuck? People relate to stories, not words of convincing. I am in unprecedented territory. After my suicide "attempt" (nothing would happen anyway, it was failed from the start, I was just being dramatic) I repressed the memory. But I knew I had to tell my closest one since otherwise I was emotionally blocked from her. And so after 2 weeks I told my girlfriend. ... A lot of crying. Anger. No faith. The most humiliating day of my life. I seriously didn't know how to continue living. I felt like I destroyed everything. But we're getting through it. I have the greatest girlfriend in the world. My literal hot witch girlfriend. My dream come true. I love her so much. I'm becoming a real man with her by my side. Anyways we're moving out together in less than a month. I got us an awesome fucking flat for rent in a beautiful location. I'm really happy about that. So much is happening. Almost too much. But right now I feel quite well. Today I watched my live awakening video that I posted to the forum in May last year. Gosh, this was only a year ago...? I was so different. That's not me on that video. I wonder what would happen if I took LSD now. I don't know why... I run away.
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The primary reason why you are suffering is most likely not because of the lack of female companionship, but simply because you perceive yourself as having failed to meet societal standards. You view yourself as a failure, as unworthy, as unlovable. That is the fundamental issue. If you were stranded on an island, with the rest of the world destroyed in nuclear fallout, and all you had was a group of men to keep you company, you might experience less psychological torment than you are right now, because whether or not you have a woman would no longer matter in whether or not you perceive yourself as a failure. You could adapt and live out the life the best you could on an island like this. Not having a woman would be frustrating, but if it was a universally shared experience, it would not cause you the same psychological anguish as it relates to your self-identity, what you consider to be the worth you have as a human being. What you must realize is that you have fallen prey to a perverse game. You have bound your self-love to the contemporary societal values and norms. In other words, you have bound yourself to a society that has not yet transcended the dark-ages, a depraved, sick, undeveloped and blind society. This society will not give you unconditional love, because everyone is starving and scrambling for every bit of love they can get. People are so lacking that nobody can freely share it, lest they would carry the burden of everyone else. In such a scenario, the solution is not to attempt to find your piece of love, to play the game as everyone else is playing it, destined to succeed for some and fail for others. The solution is to become a beacon of love yourself. To become the one who gives love, not who takes it. Suicide is silly in this case, because all of this is in your head. And you are far from the only one, there are countless lost souls who are seeping through the gaping cracks in society. You could become someone who can find joy in eleviating their suffering, and to bring true love to them. To not give them love, but to teach them how to become beacons themselves. Next time you see an overweight, ugly woman, think of how much she must suffer, and how much her condition is because the society we live in today. Think about how different her life could be, including her health, if our societal had a more sophisticated relationship between self-love and societal norms. You have been been raised on ignorance, and so has she.
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If suicidal is a solution then it may end this inner torment - nor do I want to go to therapy - Like my inner world is a raging bull sometimes in a labrynth of complex conceptializing idk if thanks to Acid for example - But if suicide ends this horror film, that might be a solution, right? Seriously, I want an answer to this, and Leo you're the most enlightened intellectual I can reach out to for an answer, as youtube is limited, or even your subsribers too, thanks. Like why don't I just end it, this rage sometimes could do it if with the right means Like once a week I call suicide hotline almost regularly to get it off my chest otherwise I could maybe go mad dude
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Hello, So I have never been with a woman, and the pain of being this age without even having had a girlfriend can almost be crippling - I don't want to walk around suicidal depressed rage in case it attracts negative experiences in my life, which it has done, as for example my ability to focus is diminished almost to wanting to die - So 27 feels too old to be a virgin, and over the years I continue to bottle down these hormones, but sometimes like once a week, or every two weeks the bottle pops open and I contemplate ending my life ... If I do not ever meet a woman, and thus never have my needs met - I must know Leo, am I fine to commit suicide? Will there be reprecussions on the other side? Or will this free me from this internal torment - Do I have the right to feel this suicidal rage being my age and having missed out ... I am near to 30, nor do I know how I'll afford marriage, or if marriage will destroy me anyways - Can someone tell me why I should not just end it? Thank you Please, this continues bothering me and as the days pass the rage continues and I do my best to live more positive and light hearted, but still - Why don't I just end it? What keeps me alive Leo - I mean did I choose this life or what, can I choose my next life where everything is easier and better? Why is this life on such hard mode with a mind of its own going some direction ...
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@Rafael Thundercat They say some 20-30% or even more of the population is dealing with Mental Health issues, I was thinking about this awhile ago, in Canada there are about 40million ppl, if 25% of the population has mental health problems, that's 10mil ppl, there are not near that # of therapist or counsellors to help, so its gone out of control imo, I wish it wasn't this way... I think we have to offer ppl programs that are not about Enlightenment, Absolute and such grand things, but just basic stuff, how to be Healthy, How to be Happy, How to Think Right, Eat Right, Breath Right, Sit Right, stuff like this should be taught in schools from day 1, the other stuff like math and geography means nothing if Your mental health is rotten, so there are ways to deal with it for the next generations, this gen will have to suffer thru it and deal with the consequences of it Unfortunately! @An young being Yes Agreed, that is why for me I keep telling these Absolutist, Non Dualist types and they know who they are, that there are levels and progressions to everything, Living and Promoting the Absolute or Solipsism as the only way or thing existing is rubbish, tell that too the Parents that just lost their child to Cancer, the Solipsist will say its all Imagination and will fluff it off and say bla bla bla, but its a reality for those Parents, so we have to Start from where we are At, not where the End Goal/Destination is, this is Compassion and Realization of what is the Reality, as it encompasses it all, not just one aspect of it... My Nephew died by Suicide in 2006. it devastated our Family, he was only 27, had tons of friends and family and potential, but mental health was very poor, addiction too, it runs in the family, but its a Cultural problem too, we don't teach our kids how to live and just Be Fulfilled naturally, it was Sad...
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How I want to approach this topic is sort of like how El Salvador solved their gang crime issue. They did massive sweep putting gangs in jail. However, unfortunately some people who may not have been in gangs were jailed too. People judge El Salvador for this. However, life is harsh and when it comes to saving a country sacrifices also results for the greater good of everyone. My point is, I am aware I can’t serve everyone. But, I can with my growing understanding help many. When I provide some of the most powerful practices, concepts and ideas for living a joyful life for most people some people won’t be able to take the advice. That doesn’t mean I will just cower down and be like “oh someone disagrees with me” well, maybe they have some truth but I went and studied this for a decade and I will continue to. I can’t help everyone but my Qigong is helping people. Recently my Qigong video was shared on the suicide anonymous UK Website. https://www.suicideanonymous.co.uk/heal-your-body/ My Qigong video is at the bottom. Try it out and see how Qigong can be a useful tool in your life.
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Letting go means accepting yourself as God. Suicide and all.
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I should have some good input on this issue. I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts for about 13 years. I have been diagnosed with a combination of depression, anxiety, ptsd, autism, and ocd. There were many factors fueling my suicidal thoughts and actualized.org has helped me address some of these problems. First of all, I have been reading the book list. I became well educated on emotional mastery and used trauma release exercises like forgiveness to help with suicidal thoughts. I combined this with self reflection with a journal and I tried therapy with mixed results. I tried anti depressants with disastrous consequences. I would say that the emotional mastery I learned from this site has helped to ease my suffering. Therefore Leo's teachings can prevent suicide. Secondly, existential problems were causing me some anxiety. I had been thinking deeply about life since I was a child, and it was obvious that I put more thought into this than normal people. My family followed Christianity, but I was skeptical of religion. I used a lot of self reflection and the teachings from many spiritual books to help answer some existential questions. I found some good answers in surprising places like success and productivity books recommended on the book list. I struggled with nihilism especially for a long time, but this site helped me to find meaning and purpose. Therefore, Leo's teachings prevent suicide. Currently I am seeking a new type of therapy. My biggest weakness seems to be understanding relationships and social isolation. I had a very chaotic upbringing riddled with betrayal and illegal activity. It makes it hard to trust those closest to me. On top of that I have a hard time relating to people due to autism and my family is frustrated with me because of my autism. Misunderstanding social situations gets me into trouble on several occasions. Currently, actualized hasn't helped me with this particular issue, but maybe there will be relationship videos on the future. Sometimes my damaged family relationship triggers suicidal thoughts. My mind used to be very chaotic. Now my mind is much quieter than it used to be. Maybe there is a lot more I could say, but I don't know what else. @Leo Gura Thank you for your valuable work.